We Might Be Drunk - Jimmy O. Yang w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Episode Date: October 5, 2026

Jimmy O. Yang joins Mark Normand and Sam Morril to talk about his unexpected past as a strip club DJ and used car salesman, his breakout on Silicon Valley, and returning to Hong Kong for his stand-up special Finally Home. Plus, dating in New York, getting turned away at the Comedy Cellar, Vegas gambling, and why Jimmy is ready to give up on the Clippers. Jimmy O. Yang:Tour dates: https://www.jimmycomedy.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimmyoyang/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/lowballjim Sponsored by: Make your picks with UnderdogDownload the Underdog app and play Keep Your Million. Get personalized treatment options from Himshttps://www.hims.com/drunk Get your free life insurance quote from Ethoshttps://www.ethos.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com@GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #JimmyOYang #MarkNormand #SamMorril #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #SiliconValley #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We rockin? Yeah, let's do it. Let me put my phone on silent. Hey, what a pro. You know, I got to stay professional here, man. Hey, you got rid of the glasses. No, it's gone. I got this, it's better than LASIC.

They put a permanent contact lens in your eye. Whoa. And now it's fully fixed. Holy sure. You got the hair thing, you get the eyes. No one's going to have ailments anymore. That's true. I know.

Although, they can tell when a kid has Down syndrome, and now they're going to be extinct. That's happening. Oh, because they can check your DNA before the, fetus. Yeah, when it's cooking, they're like, oh, this one's... Yeah, they won't be... Because there's still pro-life people out there. Oh, that's true. Well, there'll be less. Which is sad. You know, everybody like seeing a...

You know what? Just saying. In the first three minutes, Mark, God damn it. It's funny, you can't say the word, but you can get rid of one. Good to have you. Welcome to New York, baby. Did. Thanks for having, man. This is very exciting. I'm a big fan of Both of you and the podcast. Yeah, I guess we've never met. We've met, I'm sure.

Sure. Somewhere. When we heard, you were coming out, I was like, oh, cool, I don't think I've, I really don't think we met. Maybe we, at the improv or something maybe. It feels like we've met. It feels like, but I love how honest we are. We're like, no, I'm actually never seen you in real life.

I don't think so, dude. You called DeShang last year. Better than Bobby Lee, I guess. It is. I'll take either. Yeah, sure. I'll take either. Is that a Grand Seiko?

No, this is, well, that's race. racist. This is, it's just a Rolex, you know? I'm trying to get to watch. It's an old Rolex. It's a good looking watch. Thanks, man. No, that's, that's dope. Thanks, thanks. Thanks. What are you doing in New York? This is my first time spending any real time in New York. I've been here, done shows, a couple days here in there sitting a hotel. I'm actually shooting a TV show for Netflix here for six months. Whoa. So I'm here until December, loving it, man. What show is it? It's called the Roman. It's you know Morris Corsese's casino?

So he's a producer on this, although I've never seen him. Oh, cool. And it's about us running a casino in Vegas. And they're shooting in New York City? We built a whole casino in our studios here in Brooklyn, yeah. Whoa. I guess it's cheaper to shoot in New York now than in Vegas that doesn't

have the tax break. Right. Who else is in the show? It's Oscar Isaac. Oh, nice. Yeah, he's dope. Super dope. Alec Baldwin. Yeah, he's dope. He's dope. It's always shooting. Hey, hey, yo. I find it sad that he was such a movie star.

I mean, he still is, right? But then any young people I tell, anybody like under the age 30, all they know is that incident. What did happen recently? Yeah, which is sad. I'm like, the guy's a movie star. Have you seen Hunt for Rad October? Yes, Beetlejuice.

Glenn Garry, Glenn Ross. Come on. Dirty Rock. Wolfo. Oh, yeah, here you go. Here's all of us. Kate Mara, Vincent Nonfrio, Jason Schwartz. Jesus.

It's a great cast. Everybody's an adult. Everyone's lovely. And it's just a dope shoot. Yeah. Good mix and match of people. You don't really see Schwartzman and Baldwin together. Yeah, Coppelman and Levine wrote it.

Oh, I think this is awesome. Rounders, Billions, you know, real bros, man. Is he a gambling addict? He loves gambling shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He plays in a poker game. Okay. He's a big poker guy.

Ryan Deep picture is a poker game. Yeah, yeah, there you go. Is that even the right? Is that even him? Yeah. I don't know. That's him, dude. He changed, I mean, he doesn't look like that no more.

Is that a Grand Saco? That's a Daytona. That's a... Oh, wow. He looked a lot different back then. But yeah, I'm having a great time on the show. That's sick. And you're good New York weather.

And I know. And I think that is the best place to be on a show, you know, number like five to 10. I'm like number six on the show. I show up twice a week. You know, I can do stand-up. I can do this. I can focus on other stuff as well.

as like just having fun on this show. Are you doing sets around town? Not quite yet. I popped in at the New York Comedy Club. Last time I was here, I popped into the cellar, and then this time I went back to the cellar, the motherfucker didn't even let me in the door. It was hilarious.

You guys know the vibes there. We had that at the Comedy Store. Elway's worse. Is that right? Oh, yeah, it's still, like I've done comedy for 18 years now. It's still my worst fear to show about a comedy club. Sure. And the guy does, it just takes one guy who not know who you are.

Like when I'm like, hey man, I just want to go watch the show. And he's like, you have to be invited down here. And I'm like, you just want to show up. Hey, Netflix, Silicon Valley. You know, he just want to show us the resume. It was a whole thing. Like, do I have to wear IMDB resume on my shirt? He let me and he was like, wait, wait, aren't you on crazy rich?

I'm like, yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah, yeah, just come hang out. And I talked to him later. He's like, yeah, so some other comics are telling me. So you really, you sell out like clubs, huh? I was like arena sometimes, but, you know, fuck off, you know? Sometimes. It depends the city.

In his defense, I feel like any Asian guy can go, I'm in crazy rich Asians. No, and his next question was like, you're friends with Ronnie Chang? I'm like, yes, I don't want to admit. Yes, yes. Yeah, we love Ronnie. Yeah, I love Ronnie. Yeah, he's a man. Damn.

I got checked. I got checked at the cell. What that happens? I feel like every time, for years, the comedy store just gave us no love. Really? It's like immigration over there. You got a show on papers. You're right.

You know. You put me in the detention center. It's humbling. I'm no ego anymore. I used to get, like, super butt hurt. Yeah. Let me go back and

fucking show him, you know? Now I'm like, who cares? Just one guy. Exactly. Yeah, it's weird when you can't take it

personally, who cares? Yeah, look at that. You're playing these venues. Who gives the shows? No, that was in Hawaii with my dad. Yeah, on the biggest show,

I was like, I bring my dad on stage. You got to show him, you made it. Yeah, I know. He loves it. But your dad's an actor now, right?

Yeah, I put him in a couple things. He was in Space Force that on an episode I wrote. Great actor. He was opposite John Malkovich, not nervous at all. Whoa.

Crazy. Why was he not nervous? I don't know. He just, he's a narcissist probably. You know? He just got the right amount of ego to be an actor. Right. And, you know, I think to older people, acting is in work.

They're like, this is not a job. Yeah. Well, Nick Griffin used to have that great bit about it. It was like it's not a real job because children do it. Yeah. You never mean a child mechanic. Great point. It's a great bit.

Great point. Yeah, that was in Macau. It was in an arena in Macau. Wow. Look at that. Wow. That is massive, dude. Look at you.

It was my first time playing Asia last year on my tour. I'm like, why did I not do this five years ago? Are you bigger in Asia than here? And I mean, I grew up in Hong Kong, right? So I was like, my homecoming. It was the perfect storm because I still speak a little Cantonese. I end up shooting my last special in Hong Kong. And the whole crowd speaks English, you know, but I mixed in some Cantonese.

And I just thought it was something interesting. Definitely. Something different. Did they get the reference it? You know, if you do an Uber joke, do they have Uber? Like, how's that work? Yeah, certain things have to, like, change it. it up and then certain things I was say in Hong Kong, like the horse racing cultures, certain days

you don't go to restaurants because the chefs are betting on horses. That might not translate here, but I think it's like when enough people laugh, you get it. You almost want to research it more like when I back in the day when I used to watch George Lopez's stand up and some of it, his punchlines are in Spanish. I'm like, I don't understand that, but I get it. Yeah, yeah. You open for Jim Jeffries years ago and he would be extra Australian. And he was Like, I think that sets me apart. Oh, really? I remember he said that.

He's like, I do Australian references because then the audience is like, wow, this guy, we're seeing something different. Yeah, like a novelty in a way. Exactly. Jim is great. So prolific. I know. Always, and no hour every six months or whatever.

I don't know how he does it. Enough's enough. He can talk. He writes differently than us. Like, he'll just like talk in a bar and people, and I could see him like taking note where people are laughing. And I'm like, oh, that's going to be in the air. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Morally, is that cool to like just tell a story to your friends, but you're actually testing material? Only if it's entertaining. Yeah, that's true. If it's not entertaining, then you're just an asshole. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, realize that's much more effective than, you know, writing stuff down. I kind of can't, I can't sit and write for like hours anymore. Really?

You're prolific. You got multiple special, what, three now? Yeah, three. I'm working on the fourth one. Look at that. So it's coming from somewhere. Do you already know where you're going to shoot the fourth? I think yeah yeah I'm planning my tour for 2027 it's going to start in like end of January

and I saved a couple cities that I really like towards the end of the tour I think Seattle probably going to be it but it's a good one theater we're getting quotes I think I think the Paramount does that sound right yeah is that I know they got the more the more is great the more is that I did my first special at the Neptune amazing I couldn't believe like the reaction is a great comedy city yeah it like and it's the perfect it's the right amount of Asian for me. I think it's a little much. But no, no, it's true.

So you factor in, like, I don't want this to be like an Asian takeover, but I want a lot of Asians. It's both. So the last special I shot in Hong Kong, I didn't plan to shoot in Hong Kong. But it was my love letter. It was called Finally Homest, me going back home for the first time after 25 years. So it was just, I just told him to add cameras and I went home, took the whole hard drive home, edited my guy for like six months.

shout out Marcus Rayboy. Oh, I know Marcus, cool. Yeah, he's the best, right? And Michael, my editor. But this one, I wanted to be more, I mean, that was universal to this last special, which is on Hulu now. Because it's about going home.

You don't have to be from Hong Kong to understand a feeling of coming home or losing touch with your hometown and the people in the language. But the next special, I want to put on Netflix and it's going to be more universal, I think. I'm still obviously going to talk about my family, but intentionally,

I'm going to make it broader. Nice. Okay, yeah. I went to China. I did a whole run there. Couldn't sell a ticket. Really? But I did okay in Beijing, weirdly enough.

I just did it like all over Europe. It's great to just, places you never would have gone. Right. I learned so much everywhere you go. You're like, I didn't fucking know this. It's nice. Yeah, Grobreb. What is it?

Zagreb. Zagreb. You didn't learn that, I guess. Yeah, no. Croatia, awesome. Yeah. You just, even just strung around a city, hidden a few museums. You're just like, holy shit.

I, you know, it's good. It's good for your brain. It's a real vacation. I feel like you write a lot in, like, you're talking about sitting down writing. Yes. Movement is like good for it. 100%. Bordane always said that. Keep moving.

Yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the absorption of it. I feel like you need to absorb, absorb, and then it comes. Like, if I'm sitting down at a park, like I'm sitting down my office, I'm trying to write, it never comes. Like, but when you absorb enough, I think then it starts to permeate a little bit. Yeah. Do you feel sometimes, like, with stresses once you just like let go?

Because I feel like we have to manage so much now as comedians. Like, you know, business, social media, all this shit. Sometimes when I just forget, I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Sometimes the floodgates just open. Uh-huh. When I have to think about like a flight or this or that, like when I have to manage all these things, like, oh, fuck, did this, did they add this thing in the special? Did they do this?

Once I just let go. Yeah. Sometimes shit just comes out. A hundred percent. I think we're just holding on to so much. Yeah. Yeah. And like, it's almost like making a friend.

You know what you try really hard? Like, I like this guy. I'm going to make a friend with this guy. He's like, all right, all right. But if you just let it happen, it's natural. I think it's the same with jokes. I totally agree. Like with this last special, I edited myself with my guys.

You know, the subtitles have to be done in English, Chinese. And then, you know, once we put on Hulu, there was a technical issue because of the subtitles. It was a whole, I was so stressed every step of the way about the release of this. I released in theaters in Hong Kong and a limited release here. Even getting that going, there's no money in it, by the way. You know. Was it just like a prestige thing here? Yeah.

I just thought it would be cool and I want to like really like put Hong Kong on the map. You know what I mean? Like, and it did really well in Hong Kong movie theaters. It did pretty good here. Movie theaters. But it just such a like pain in the ass. Like is it going to show well at IMAX? Right.

Is it a subtitle? You put it in IMAX? Yeah. Wow. I had a premiere in Hong Kong and the emperor theater. Shout out to them in IMAX. But it was nerve-wrack. I'm like, this wasn't shot in IMAX.

It was shot in 4K, but is it going to look soft in some areas. But it looked great. But the whole time I was so stressed during. that premiere is a theater full of my families, friends, you know, and just fans, right? But the subtitles was giving away the joke because it was going too long. And then the next day, I have to go to this dude who's the subtitle guy in Hong Kong, just his apartment, right? I spent like three hours with this guy.

I'm like, cut here. Okay, this next, like subtitle has to be the next line. Yeah. And then all of that. And then we're about the social media clips. Okay, now it's coming on Hulu. How many, how much social media clips should I put on how much, how many minutes should I put on YouTube without giving it away.

Sure. And then what's the next step? It's just, it's a pain in the ass, man. And these networks, they put out a promo, and you're like, that's the bit you picked. That's got no context. It's got a callback, so they're not going to get that. We're going to, like, add in, like, a, you know, I think. Like, why do you add a you know?

Yeah, like, end of the joke. Yeah, there's so much little things that drive you crazy. And the blurb is so cringy, you know. Oh, I guess subrain. Sorry, go ahead. Well, Jimmy O-Yang tackles the, you know, a noodle situation. And you're like, what, dude, what you're talking about? Yeah.

And then I get super anal about all of these little things. Like, even the trailer, you know, goes to approval. Usually people with their team just approves it. I look at every single thing and I have them go through. I'm sure I drive people crazy. But I think it's comics who works so hard on these jokes. Yes. And now it's finally out.

Like, you need it to be perfect. It's different stuff. Back in the day, Mark and I talk about this. Our first hour special was on Comedy Central. you'd have to do a 55-minute version, a 48-minute version, a 40-minute version, because we're editing for like limited commercial break. And you're just like, which tag of my joke do I kill? I know.

It was so painful. You're like, I guess I cut this joke. I don't. And do you guys edit? Like, are you super hands-on? I edit mine now with the guy, yeah. Yeah, you have. I should have done it more.

I kind of was like, this is a set. This is the one I want. And then just this joke, this joke, I didn't like. And this one, for the most part, I let a guy do it. You know, I hate watching myself. I hate it. It's the most painful thing, but I have to, like, even the angles to cut, I'm involved in every single cut. Otherwise, I just know I'm going to regret it later.

You should be involved. It's your vision. It's your set. You know the set better than anybody. At least with stand-up, you at least already kind of hate most of these jokes at this point. If you're taping a special, you're already sticking them. I'm editing a movie right now, and it's like becoming less and less funny to me. Because I'm just like, I can't, I'm, I can't, you know.

I need to test it. You need to test it. I will. I will test it. I will test it. I will test it. I'm going. I'm taking it to Hong Kong.

I'm X. Yeah, I tested it in Hong Kong. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm going to test it for sure. You know what the all-time worst is, you ever do a Tonight Show? Uh-huh. You have to send a transcript, and you're writing out word for word, you're jokes, and you're like, this sucks. There's nothing funny about this.

But, you know, you can get into time. In Singapore, you have to do that. I'm sure China today, like, you have to send in the transcript. You have to write out your whole set. Your whole set. Your whole set word by word. And in Singapore, too. And then I don't do it.

I'm like, just here's my set of recorded 60 minutes and Milwaukee. just translate a sent it to him, and I'm not going to say a word perfect. Like, sorry. Right. And they're okay with that. They're pretty. I mean, I don't say anything crazy controversial or anything, you know. So I think it's fine.

Yeah, you got an Asian voice. It's a little hurtful. You, in particular. I'm bothered by it. You and your family really take offense to that. But you got the coolest story, man. Your life is a movie. I mean, moved here from Hong Kong to L.A.

At 13, right? At 13 years old. You know, you got L.A. Yeah. What a culture's job. Yeah. How did your folks said in LA? Hey, man, it was, it was, because my grandparents was already here because my aunt married and

Chinese-American guy. Oh, okay. So it's like that chain migration stuff, right? Little by little, the whole family started coming here. So my family was like the second wave. But when I was 13, I could barely speak English. Wow. I learned English on the books, how kids here would learn Spanish.

Right. But then when I got to school, people were talking way too fast. I'm like, what, I thought I knew English. I mean, that must have been so hard. Yeah, yeah, it was tough. Not just to learn, but to make friends, right? Oh, super hard. And my school, I went to John Burroughs Middle School.

They were Asian kids, but they were Korean. Oh. Like American-born Koreans. And they didn't even really want to be associated with me because I was like so foreign. We forget about the Asian racism. Yeah, we don't speak the same language. And by hanging out with me, they look more foreign. So why would they want that?

So I get it. Oh, interesting. And I made friends with a lot of men. Mexican kids because I grew up playing soccer and, you know, just sports was a big thing. You know, I was like really small, but I could like shoot a basketball. So, and then they threw me in ESL classes. Oh, sure. So those ESL classes, all foreign kids.

I made friends with this Nigerian dude, this Mexican guy, this Sri Lankan guy. So that was like my first friend group. This is a movie. This is gold. How do you have zero accent? Because I have friends who are born here, Korean, and they have an accent. I tried really hard. I never had like a full-on Chinese.

accent because I grew up speaking three different Chinese dialects. So it's like Shanghai East for my parents, Cantonese, which is a different accent than Mandarin. So I think between that, I got a pretty good ear. Yeah. And then when I got to America, like I was American maxing, right? Like I was trying to listen to as much hip-hop as I could. So by the time I was like a sophomore junior, I kind of had like a hip-hop like black scent almost. And I didn't know that was like not okay. I was just trying to not be foreign. Like don't say that word, dude. stuff. Yeah. And then by the time I got to college, I started watching a lot of Sopranos. So I almost had like an East Coast accent, like a Jersey accent, but I never lived in Jersey,

obviously. So it was just like trying to mask, you know, a foreign accent. Are there any verses you have memorized to this day? No, no, no. Don't make him fucking ramp. What are you doing? But I was a big fan of like Jay Z, Snoop Dog, Tupac, like all of that stuff. Yeah, the West Coast stuff. Yeah, I guess Jay Z's not. Yeah, Jay Z's not. But, uh, yeah, so you, American culture just like, that's amazing when you take like a little bit of everything, you just lose an accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, and then this time when I went back to Hong Kong, I forgot how to speak Anthony's.

Oh, geez. And I forgot how to read and write Chinese. There's one of the jokes in my special, uh, is I found my diary that I wrote when I was nine years old, all written perfectly in Chinese and I couldn't read a single word of it. Damn, that's crazy. My own handwriting. I have to give it my dad to, like, translate it, you know, which is a nightmare. Oh, God.

I got my first boner. He did that read that. Geez. Wow, that's crazy with the act. What about a Ronnie Chang? He sounds like a cartoon character. He has an accent in any language that he speaks. I was sweet Chinese to him and he still has a Ronnie Chang accent.

So he stays consistent. All right. Well, you watch old movies and people are from different places. You watch an old French movie and you're like, that's like a German French accent. Right. People have different accents, you know? Even in the 40s, we had that, what do they call the... Mid-Atlantic.

Mid-Atlantic. Yeah, they're like, ah, see? I told the Broadway. to come back at midnight. Nobody sounds like that now. Dude, there's an old clip of young children talking about Babe Ruth. I don't know if you ever seen this. Pull it up.

The way they're talking, you're like, that voice isn't fucking exist anymore. I know. It's adorable. They're like, ah, Babe Ruth was a, he was a real man. Yes. You're like, oh, that voice is gone. You don't even hear the New York as much anymore. Like, yo, hey, I'm walking here.

That's kind of over. Now it feels like you're like you're trying to do that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boston might be going away too. Yeah, it's all pretty homogenous. And now Boston's not going away. All right.

That Boston's here to stay, I think. I hope so. British people. Listen to these kids. This is crazy. How crazy these kids? Yank. And I wish they come back to the Yankees.

They broke, decided to break like that. And I think it'll make good in Boston because he's been such a great character. And I think it's like. It's like very New York, but old-timey. Yes. Yeah, I wish he was still with the Yankees. He wants to a grant. You also don't see a kid looking like this anymore.

She's gonna have a roughbook. Oh, they had hard fucking lives. Oh, yeah, oh yeah. She's getting beaten by her husband. She's 11. Was that a girl? I don't even know. The fact that we don't know ain't a great sign.

Yeah, look at the hats are hilarious. They're like a peaky blinders. I know, right? They're all pushing dope. And they're dressed like to the nines on a Tuesday. They're 12 years old, you know they're handing someone to fat stack of cash. Yeah, yeah. They smoke cigars.

Damn, that's hilarious. Where does it all go? It just shifts. Oh. People change. I mean, you know, maybe old people are going to talk like, I was talking and I went to this story. Like, maybe that's going to be a voice when I'm like Haiti and you're like, oh. That's true, yeah.

Man. I mean, Valley girls, you don't hear, Valley girls were big in L.A. In like the 90s? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. What happened to the Valley girls? They shipped.

I think it became that voice fry. Vocal fry. Yeah. Like the Paris Hilton. Yeah. Yeah. Like not sure of yourself as a cadence. Hmm.

Everything goes up at the end. Yeah. I mean, actually? Are you mugging me? Yeah. I think it's polite. It's inviting you to more conversation. I guess so.

Do you want to have one? Yeah, exactly. That's the question. When I heard a strip club DJ, is that real? How did that come together? This is years after my immigration. But I guess part of me still want an American Max. I wanted to be like a not rapper, but like a music producer, like making beats for hip-hop.

Right. So that was always my dream to, like, DJ and, like, do whatever. So after I graduated college with economics degree, I just knew I didn't want to do that. So I had odd jobs. I DJed a strip club. I worked at a comedy club. That's in San Diego. That's not in San Diego. That's why I learned everything. It used to be called a comedy palace. Now it's the mic drop comedy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I heard it's a good club. Back in the day, it used to be a Greek restaurant during the day. And then my buddy, Sean Kelly, went to the Greek restaurant and it was like, hey, you guys don't have a lot of business at night. Let me turn into comedy club so to switch the sign from Greek Palace to comedy. And I worked the door there and I sold used cars during the day. And then at night, I'll go put in a shift as a strip club DJ. Wow. That's the most American day of all time, right? It's like, I'm American maxing. You are. How was the strip club?

It was a really shitty strip club called Fantasy Showgirls. And it was owned by this biker gang, like Hell's Angels type guy named Gunner. So it's like really gangster, but I was just like a nice, you know, college kid. Were they nice to you, though? They were so nice to me. had nicknames like monster, Irish, Gunner, you know. Be away from Gunner. Yeah, yeah, from like prison nicknames.

And I'm just, damn, Jimmy, you know? So they were all really nice to me. And I always, you know, look at things in a very innocent lens, you know, although I understand the situation. But I was, like, really good at it because, like, I wasn't like, look, there was hot strippers, but I was, like, falling in love with them. Like, I crush some of these strippers. Like, I'm a college kid, you know. That's adorable. So I wasn't like being a scumbag or anything, just like the other DJ.

So like sales was good when I was there. Gunner was telling me sales went up like 44%. What are you doing to get sales up? You're just playing good tunes? Yeah, I was because part of the job. Do the dancers say play this song for me? How much is creative? Yeah, yeah.

So great question. So I think it's all about building a report because the strippers day and the pending contractors, they can just not show up or not come dance. You can't force them. So part of the job of a strip club DJ is, like you're managing everything, everyone. You're making sure the customers getting a good flow going, like what DJ would do.

But you also got to make sure the girls show up. So you got to be like, hey, saucy, you know, like what songs do you like? Let me make sure I play that song for you, any lighting you want, you know. Hey, Sossie, here's Rain Dogs by Tom Waits. Yeah, yeah. Try this one. I think this will be good for you, you know. So you kind of being like a Somaliate too.

Right, right. You know, I think this song, you'll be great. Have you tried this? and then you're just trying to be like really friendly and cool so all the girls are like in line but then there's some fights that happens between the girls too and yeah yeah sometimes the bouncer just got to break it up damn but it's an interesting interpersonal dynamic that's happening in there of course of course and you got to stage four saucy stage four yeah exactly like coming up next like like uh we got uh wait wait wait let me let me get back into yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah, yeah. All right, coming to the stage, we got Jay. And let's get ready, saucy, saucy. You're up next. And two for one lap dance. It's coming up right now. All the girls get ready for the showcase. It's kind of like baseball. You're like someone's on deck, you know?

Yes, yes. You got to be the manager. You got to be ready, you know? I love it. I'm hard just from the, like, the contact high. You also just not who I picture doing it. I was the most innocent. I was probably the only, because you hear other people that were strip club

DJs, they're like, man, I hooked up with this girl. Oh, my God. It's like fucking shooting fish and barrels. It's fucking hot, man. I was the only strip club DJ that didn't get late. That's why they liked you from. Yeah, probably. Because I wasn't creepy, you know.

Right. I wanted to, don't get me wrong. But I was like trying to like ask a girl out on a date and shit, you know, and then I already got a boyfriend. But then turns out she's fucking an owner. You know? Seems like one would do it just for the novelty. Like, I'm going to bang Jimmy. Yeah, right?

You know, the nice kid. Come on. Just bang the nice kid. That's a sitcom right there. The nice DJ. Yes. That would be a fun, that would be a fun sitcom movie or something like that. Damn, DJ Hongdong.

All right, I'm working on names. We're working out. And then how long after that did you start? So you've been doing stand-up 18 years, you said? Yeah, since I'm 39, so since I was like 21. So I was already, I started doing open mics then. My first open mic was during a summer when I went back home to L.A. at the Haha Comedy Club.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you guys remember that. North Hollywood. It's still around. Yeah, yeah. Jack, Terry, Jack Jr., now. You know, runs it.

Great club. You have to pay, I think that open mics every night. And that was the open mic I could get on, you know, because you got to pay, I think, five bucks. Remember those days? Or a drink ticket. Yeah. Pay to do an open mic.

And you tell your parents. But those are the good ones, usually. They were the best ones. That's what, you know, the free ones, you're like, I get two minutes. Right. Yeah. And you got to bring people something. Oh.

Fucking open mic. Yeah. What? You probably brought the Sri Lankan kids from. Yeah, man. You run out of friends. Just bringing a bunch of strippers. like book this guy again next week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you get in there. What about... What about the used cars? I mean, that's like a... That's a crazy gig. That feels like a lot of pressure. Yeah, that was fun, though.

I was a decent salesman. I think all of these things, the strip club DJ and, like, selling used cars all help the stand-up. Of course. It's interpersonal. It's like doing crowd work. You don't seem like a pushy guy.

Yeah, that's the thing. I could be a good salesman, but I look fairly trustworthy. Yes. Although I might not be. And this car lot, it kind of sells itself because it specialized for people with bad credit in OceanSize, San Diego. So our slogan, amongst ourselves, it's like either you buy this dodgy neon in 24% or you ride the bus. We're your last resort.

So you come here, you don't have a choice. Good gig. So it's pretty easy. Yeah. Wow. He must see some characters coming in there. Oh, for sure. Or even the other car salesman.

I'm sure this guy is doing meth. He's been there. He's like 60 years old. St. Gilbert and our manager. Do you ever hear from any of these people? Oh, man. I used to, from Gunner, the owner

of the strip club, Hey, where's you sure? He gave me like a son. Like, when I moved back to L.A., he would call me from an unmarked, unknown 619 number once a year. And he was just like, hey, this Jimmy? And I'm like, yeah, hey, who is this?

He's like, yeah, this Gunner, I just want to make sure everything's okay with you up in L.A. I'm like, yeah, everything's all right, Gunner, I'm just doing my stand. I was like, nobody's fucking with you up there. And I'm like, no. It's everything's all right.

Just checking it on you and then he will hang up. Wow. But he died. Oh. But he was, that's nice. He was protective of you. He was like a father to me. Yeah.

Yeah. There you go, hell's angel. When you were starting out in the clubs in L.A., who were the guys that you saw that they were like, oh shit, this guy's a killer. I got to level up. Oh, I was like so scared to even like go into the improv of the comedy store because I know I probably couldn't get in because it was probably one time at the comedy store. Like now we're older, we're established.

We don't care if the guy doesn't recognize us. Sure. But when I was younger, like that one rejection at the door at the comedy store, totally. Crushes you. Of course. Whoa, whoa, this is for comics only. Well, I am a comic.

I know. You feel like you don't belong. Now you're like, things are all right. But that feeling when you're young, yeah. Oh, it's terrible. Why am I even doing this? I think people should be nicer to younger comics these stories. Here, here.

But I think when I was coming up, it was George Carmichael. Oh, yeah. They were calling it in the future. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, no. He's a darling. I'm trying to think Santino, Adam Ray, those guys. Oh, yeah.

When I was starting to come up, like, second, third year, trying to get into the improv or whatnot, they were, like, regular rotation at the improv. And I was like, man, one day, you know, this would be so cool. Yeah. And, of course, you know, like somebody like Bobby Lee, who I grew up watching, that whole comedy store lineup, yeah. Man, there must have been a lot, not to go back,

but there must have been a lot of strip club car lot of cross-o. I feel like you'd see the same people. I guess they were in different places. How I got the strip club job was actually my car lot manager. He's an older guy, alcoholic. He would disappear like three, four days on a bender sometimes. But he was roommates. Like, you know your life ain't right when you're like 65 and you have a roommate.

Yeah, sure. And he was roommates with Gunner. And I was like, dude, I always want to like DJ. Like you think Gunner let me DJ. He was like, Gunner likes you. It seems like, you know, next time he comes and just ask him. Do you have to audition to DJ? No, I just showed up one day and he let me do it.

But it wasn't on the ones and two. There's no training. It was literally like a Dell computer. Right. And then you just click on whatever that's on Winnet. You know, like free songs before Spotify. And you have your folders and you just play your songs and you work the lighting a little bit. That's it.

Damn. Yeah. Super simple stuff. I love it. Boy, you've lived. Did you ever have any scares with danger? Anybody come in with a gun or try to steal your coat? A couple college kids

A couple college kids came in on like Christmas Eve I was working at a strip club then And it was just super sad Because there's no customers And then we're closing early And then drunk college kids Probably my age got into an argument With monster the bouncer

And the monster was like dude get the fuck out of here And then they're like fuck you man On Yelp it says you open till two It's like get the fuck out man It's Christmas Eve get out of it And then they wouldn't get out And they're like talking shit outside the club And they're big kids

They're like regular size, you know, college 21 year old kids, you know, just like me, you know, but now I'm on the other side of this world. And then Monster went up to the bartender chief and was like, hey, these kids are talking shit, grab your shit, let's go fuck them up. I got my money on Monster and Chief. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They grabbed the two by four and went out there and start beating the shit out of these kids on the floor. And then I went out there. I thought it was cool. I think I kicked one of them, like, you know.

And you're like, and stay out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just thought it was the coolest thing, right? Like, now I'm on the, I went from the college kid that was like nobody getting kicked out of a strip club to now on the other side with these gangsters. You like Leota and Goodfellas when he shows up in the suit. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right.

And then I went back to the comedy club the next day. I was bragging about it. I thought it was super cool. But good thing my mentor, Sean Kelly, he's an older comic. He was like, dude, you pull me aside. He's like, dude, I know you think it's super cool. But when you work with these kind of like darker characters, not skin tone, they're all like white Aryan Brotherhood guys. But like in the dark world, you know, like you start to think these things are normal.

Sure. And that's actually really dangerous. He was like, dude, you're funny. You know, you're coming up. You know, just tell your story. Go to L.A., you know. Yeah. It can be too Aryan Brotherhood if they hired you, though.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I was the only not white guy. Good point. In there. Diversity. Yeah. Yeah.

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That's the other show. Yeah, that's dumb. I'm wearing a wire within this Aryan strip club. Just a life, like, I remember the first time I'm from Louisiana. First time I saw San Diego, I was like, what the fuck is this place? Holy shit. You go to La Jolla, the seals on the beach and the women and the palm trees and everything. There's just a lot going on.

Yes. In a cool way. I love San Diego. And it's fun. It's fun. Way better in L.A., I think. I agree. Even Santa Barbara, I love, too.

You love it. My dream is to just, you know, retire or like whatever, when I retire, like just own a farm, like a winery in Santa Barbara. Are you a whiney? Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. Alcoholics, sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Wine's your drink? Uh, beer and wine, yeah. All right. Give me a Coors Light. Well, yeah, I'm Jones in here. You don't have to have one. I'll take one. All right.

If everyone's drinking. No pressure. I mean, should we do wine or should we do Coors Light? If he's a whine up. I'm having a coer. All right. All right. If you're doing beer, I'll sit with beer.

Is it cold or no? I don't know. I've been sitting there for a minute. I'll do a warm beer. That might be the ugliest Bill's hat I've ever seen in my life. Drawn by kids with cancer. Oh. Oh, that's a great-looking hat right there.

Holy shit. Shit. All right. Just crack it. Hold on. That could be a little foamy. Like Stone Cold Steve Austin. You are American Maxing.

Oh, hey. Oh, sorry, guys. It's your studio. Hey, let it fly. Your guy tossed it to me. You know. A squirter. Cheers to the next special.

Yes. Here, here. All right. Take that. There you go. Coors, like, pretty salad. You know, usually when you pour beers out, you pour sideways and then foam up. Oh, yeah.

And that red is somewhere. You're supposed to pour straight. So all the foam comes out. Otherwise, that foam's going to be in your stomach. You're going to be bloated, you know? You're going to let the foam dissipate. I know that. Holy sure if that's real enough.

They also told you, bread was good for you, now it's bad for you. You know, meat was bad. Coffee's good, coffee's bad. I mean, is coffee bad now? I don't know. It all changes. I feel like every, yeah, milk. Milk was big.

What is milk? Now milk is out. People used to drink a glass of milk. Oh, all the time. That was like a big thing. I loved the God's milk campaign. Those are the best commercials. Oh, yeah.

Remember a Gary Goldman's joke? got milk. He's like, do we need to advertise milk? Did anyone forget about milk? Yeah. Oh, like, oh, Jesus, I forgot. I was pouring Pepsi in my cereal. It's too effervescent. That's good. All right. He's good. He does it better. He was super nice, I think. When he was, whenever he, like, really blew up at this certain moment, I forgot what it was. And then my first special came out during the pandemic, he, like, wrote me the nicest note on Instagram. Yeah, I love that one, like, you know, even, people you haven't met or whatever

it just writes me a note That's huge Or I sometimes like When it's a comic you respect It feels nice Yeah I know man And I respect like any comic With a special

That's already You know Don't cast that wide in neck Come on I know That's great Any comic would have Our special

I think that's respect Right there Because when I started I didn't think You know I mean Like this is way beyond Any I just want to do College gigs

Yeah Yeah I don't You know What do you think gave you your first big pop? Was it Silicon Valley? Silicon Valley for sure. What a gift to be on a show that funny.

Like, Judge. Yeah. I don't think that's ever going to have. And you came in season two, right? I was season one. I made $900 an episode. Wow. As a guest star, I had two lines.

You know how you auditioned? There's guest stars. There's co-stars. The two line parts. I was a co-star. I wouldn't even guest star. Wow. And then season two, I became a series regular.

And then my part proofing. That must have felt incredible. How did that call me? I cried at the, cried at the grove when I got the phone call. I don't blame you. Like it was in the morning, you know, I had to be on the phone, my agent. It was very serious.

Was there any inkling that this was coming? Not at all, man. Like, I was just like trying to, I was just so happy I would be on two broke girls or two lines that I got my sack card. This is unbelievable. It was an open mic, you know, a guy that's three years ago. I just started doing open mics. And then I booked this show Yahoo had an original series, two original series. One is about space.

One is about a basketball team called Sinai. City Saints. I think Santino's in it. Baron Davis was a serious regular. And I got that part, right? I was so excited. I was like, oh my God, I'm going to be a series regular. Yeah, there he is. Santino. He's the head guy. Yeah, he's the head guy, man. Wow. Wow. So you see that Asian dude? That's Justin Chaun. Yeah. Rick Fox is in it. Whoa. Yeah. Tom. Yeah. And then, so Silicon Valley was like a hit, you know, after season one, but I only had three lines in like three episodes. So my agent had the wearerthole.

Like, hey, let us call Silicon Valley. See if they can match this series regular offer. Because Yahoo probably don't want you to do an HBO show. Oh, of course. So I got back all these pictures. That's a really hard picture. We do Yahoo or HBO? Right, right.

So, and then I guess... See, I don't know. Soon Ye. Yeah. Holy shit. Look how little you are. Hey, man. That picture got me a lot of jobs, dude.

I got to update my EPK. This is on my official website. This is like Urkel and. Stefan, right? Oh, this is large. Jesus. What a cute kid, huh? Man, that's a clean shave. Man, that kid was a strip club DJ. He was, man. Holy shit. With those glasses, too, bro. Man, that's crazy. That is hilarious. Anyway, the Air Nation's like, look, we're racist, but he's adorable. Come on. Yeah, come on. He can't be with the CIA. Yeah, and you're not going to fuck with the strip. You're not going to do blow. I mean, it's a perfect hire. Yeah. This is a hilarious

show that a kid that looks like that? I need to recast myself. I don't think I can't. You've gotten too cool for it. Find like a cute like 18 year old kid. Yeah. But anyway, so Mike Judge and them, they like liked me enough. And yeah, they kept me on as a serious regular.

And I never did that Yahoo show. And they replaced me with Justin Chan. Yeah. Oh, okay. That show. I mean, when you're reading those scripts, you're probably just like, this is going to be fucking fun. Man, the scripts are already so fucking good.

And then they let us have free reign. and we're on set. The producers were there, and we can just improv, you know, T.J. Sack Woods, middle ditch. It's just the best of the best people who are male. Unbelievable. Yeah. With so much fun on that show. And everybody was an incredible improviser, actor and writer. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Yeah. And Mike Judge, that guy, has he had a miss? I mean, it's like office space, king of the hill, beepus and butthead. Idiocracy. Idiocracy, Silicon Valley. Unreal. And he's doing a new thing, apparently, coming out. The coolest guy.

He was my commencement speaker at UCSD. Wow. Small world. Wow. Yeah, he's got a pretty insane resume. Oh, yeah. He's dope. He's super cool guy.

Do we even say King of the Hill? I did, yeah. Okay, I mean, yeah, that was. He said rebooted. And King of the Hill was him and Greg Daniels. Wow. Made in the office, you know, amazing. Greg Daniels is his resume.

Oh, yeah. The Simpsons, King of the Hill, the office. Yeah, yeah. Crazy. Unbelievable. Yeah. Damn. See, the cool thing about H-Betry.

HBO is you get to show your parents. That's something they can understand. You're so right, bro, because before that, like, a couple episodes on, like, two bro-girls. My dad knew I had no money. He was just worried. He was like, come on. I got a finance job for you. He was sending me, like, career builder emails, you know?

But then once the HBO came, he understood HBO. There's a contract now. Year to year there's a contract, you know, so at least I'm not starving. Did he like the show? Did he like, oh, yeah, he loved the show. He loved the show. The other stuff he didn't quite get. But I think after that he

He started watching my work Yeah Yeah yeah And then the movies You know The movies are crazy You work with Walberg Like Patriots

Yeah Patriots Day Yeah yeah yeah I did two things with Walberg I did Patriots Day Which was great It was a very dramatic film And it was my first thing And it was based on like a real life

The Boston bomb Yeah the Boston bomber And the part I play was like a Chinese Hero immigrant That like escape his SUV in Watertown And call the cops, that's how they hunted those two guys down. So he was a pivotal here.

He still speaks to the cops every year, the Boston PD, you know, as like a charity thing, like, you know, a rah-rah thing. Great guy. I think my buddy Alex Wolf played the bomber kid. Yes, that you boy? Yeah, yeah, man.

He was so cool. Great actor from his hereditary. He's in Pig, remember? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he is good. Great actor. He's in a quiet place. The new quiet place.

He's amazing at it. Great actor. Yeah, he doesn't stop working. Yeah, he's, he's a red actor. He's, uh... Man, he's only 28th still? He's got the skills, man. He's, he's good.

Yeah, he's got a look. Yeah. Good look. He looks like like a hotter me. Is that... Could play Norman for yourself. Like, is it like... Me, maybe.

Self deprecating joke? Self deprecated. That's a comment to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like both handsome brothers. All right. Look at that, look at that beauty mole. I know.

Come on. He's got it all. It's in the perfect place. See, you want to go look. Because he's interesting looking, too. That goes a long way. with casting. Yeah.

And the camera just, I was asking John Malkovich, what? Love and respect so much. Name-drawn. And so cool. Yeah. I was like,

what makes an actor, like a great actor? He was like, I directed, you know, live stage plays, some of the best actors I've ever met,

but they would never be on TV or film because the camera just doesn't like them. The first rule, the camera has to like you. Right. And sometimes having a big head, I think helps.

Yeah, I can see that. Like a big face, big head. I, uh, I forgot I was going to say, threw me out with big head. Oh, I think there's comics out there. We don't have to say any names who are unbelievable live, unbelievable on stage in the room.

Then they do a special and you're like, it doesn't capture it. Yeah. I think sometimes it's guys who aren't great writers though. Is that what it is? I think it's energy guys sometimes where they can kind of capture an energy but the writing is maybe flawed. So they're able to get away with it live because they have such great performance skills. But then, yeah, it doesn't always translate it. Yeah.

That's got to suck. Yeah. That's how you show the world, hey, come see me. Yeah, but then if they crush live all the time, baby, people come back too. I guess so. Or could it be a performance anxiety? Like, some people, you know, they're performing game six. Right.

You shoot a special. You know, I was nervous as shit. But, like, somehow that made me even, like, that was one of the better shows when I shot my special. But then some people, I think, I can totally see me or anyone choking on a special, and you only get one night. I know, I know. Well, it's why you got to tape a couple. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember when I did my first big TV thing was John Oliver show. He had a show on Comedy Central for like 10 minutes. And it was me and Che. And I was sweating. I was walking up and down the green room. I was nervous. And I look over at Che and he's sitting in a chair drinking a beer. And I was like, damn.

And he killed it. Really? He's been an alcoholic ever since. Did you crush it? I did well, but I was like, I was so nervous. He did very well. But Che was just loose and riffing. Yeah, but I remember both of your sets.

You both had great sets. Yeah, that was fun. I remember that. Skirball Center. That was a very exciting thing. John Oliver, man, good stand-up. Good stand-up. Yeah.

People don't think of him as a stand-up, but he's got the fucking skills, man. He doesn't do it anymore, right? I'm sure, I think he does live. He and Seth Myers did some residency thing at the set. That's what I saw. He closed and annihilated. Yeah, Seth is a really good stand-up, too. I mean, it's like two guys you just don't think of his stand-up.

Yeah. Really? Good joke writer. I mean, it makes sense. He's a great joke writer, right? I mean. Oh. I would say stand-up is the greatest thing because I see actor friends when they need to go get a bag.

Yeah. Money, not cocaine. Like, in a live scenario, like a corporate gig or whatever, they got to go maybe sign some autographs at a Comic-Con or do a fireside chat. You know, we can just bring this anywhere, you know? It's portable, baby. It's great. Yeah. It is, yeah.

It's good money-maker. But the problem is, the reverse of that is you get the Stormy Daniels, the Chris Catans. These guys go, I can go get some money. Yeah. Doing this. To them, it's the gutter. To us,

it's, don't go Chris Kattanan with Stormy Daniels. Charlie Sheen. Yeah, yeah. He was on Saturday Night Live. Much better of a comedy. My bad.

I love that that was her last stop. It's like, she went from porn to, like, she's like, I've tried sucking dick. Let's go one step lower. And play Spokane Comedy Club this weekend.

She did that. Like, she did a car movie. Oh, I remember seeing her at Spokane. I was like, the weekend after. Yeah,

she'd do a weekend. She's like a night. But those guys, like those people, like, they flame out pretty quick. Like, even an audience, if you never seen stand-up, you'll be like, I don't want to watch this anymore. That's true. That's true. You're never going to go again. Yeah, do you think it's like?

Because if you see a bad stand-up show, for some people, they're like, I'm done. I'm done with this as an art form. Or form of entertainment, whatever. We got to understand people that come to, especially to like a showcase night on a Tuesday at a comedy store or a cellar. Yeah. 80% of people, 70% of people was their first time watching stand-up. You gotta give it to them, man. They might not come back.

They're like, this fucking sucks. I agree. You got to bring the heat on a showcase. Feels good when someone, you talked to something after show, and they're like, that was overseas. I just had a few people say it. That's my first comedy show. Yeah. And it feels good.

You like, oh, that's cool. You got to be the ambassador of comedy. You took the hymen. Oh, stormy Daniel. She's still doing it. She's still touring. I'm telling you. We're promoting this lady.

Fort Myers. Uh-huh. She out of Washington. You called it. I mean, you want to hear about. I said Spokane. You want to hear about fucking the president. Emerald City Comedy Club

Wait wait Look at it Are you on StubHub or the actual? What's your I am? Is there the actual Can we go to an actual ticket site? I want to see if she's sold out Go to her website

See this is how much of a hater I am Sometimes I see people do like Bigger venues, smaller venues I'm like is it sold out Wait a second dude What if she is a special You have to respect her I got to

Hey If she has an hour special I'll respect it Okay She does it's on Porn Hub though Is this what you want? Is this what you want? Stram me down's website here?

I'm not trying to present No no fucking fucking She's a hardworking lady. She blew the president. I get it. But, oh, this website looks better than mine. By the way, she didn't blow the president. She blew Donald Trump.

And then he became president. Right, right, right, right, right. She invested early. That's true. Yeah, it's like dating a fat chick. Events, go to events, and I need to see some ticket sales. So, go to tickets. Let me see if it's sold out.

I love this. I'm such a hater. I know. Well, she's doing Hong Kong. Look at the prices. Yeah, Hulk called Tijuana. V-Ip. $127.

Well, that comes with a hand job, that's why. Damn, that's a $100 premium than a regular mission. Yeah. Do you guys do meeting grease? I can't do it. I used to, I had to stop.

It's so exhausted. I think I got sick a lot when I did it too, because I was just talking to so many people but, like, yeah, I did it for a long time. And honestly, it tired me out more than the set. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I would rather do a third show in a night. 100%. Totally agree. And we love the fans. And I love meeting people when it's like a line and it's when I meet you on the street, I'm happy to talk for a long time, but when it's that stop,

it would stress me out a little, especially because I should be looking at notes and adjusting from the previous set for the next show. Totally. Yeah, you're so right. It's more exhausting than the hour you do. Yeah. But I am so pumped when I meet people who like what I do.

It's like a great feeling. Yeah, true. Just don't tell me how far you drove. For some reason that I feel guilty. They're like, hey, we drove three hours to see you. I'm like, that's very flattering, but I'm like, now I feel bad. Like, what do I do here?

No, they're just, they're showing how much they like, That's not a bad thing. I know. I just feel guilty that they drove that I'm like, ah, was it if I said okay? Was it worth it? I'm with you, though. Like, it's nice, but I think it's a subconscious power dynamic.

They want to be like, hey, man, I came here. You better perform for me. And now I knocked you down a peg with about the same level. I think people do this subconscious. They do that. There is that for sure. Well, if I go to a Nick's road game, I'm like, Brunson, I drove eight hours. You better hit this jump shot, you know?

But you wouldn't do that. As a sane person, I don't think we'd do that. I would just... No, I think it's... I'm fine with it. All right. I just feel guilty personal. I got a peeve, though, for you.

Okay, please. I go to the sandwich, the coffee shop place today. I've done how I like a punch card. I love a... Something about that free... The free sandwich or the free coffee makes me happy. I don't know why. Yeah, you earned it.

I earned it. Yeah. So I get the new punch card today. I pick up a coffee myself and one for my lady. She's at home. And they only gave me one... They would only give me one punch. What?

They go, it's per trip. I go, per trip, how about I go out the door and come back in? Ew. Yeah. This is a curb. But they said, no, it's per trip. And I was like, I hate that. What is the margin on these punches?

I was bothered by it. That is bothersome. That's a fair peeve, right? That's highway robbery. Yeah, that's crazy. That's no good. That's a ruse is what that is. It was.

I had a peeve on my way here. I took the subway. Fresh peeve. And maybe this is, you guys, are used to this in New York, okay? but there was two seats and one lady was sitting there and her bag was a whole seat Oh yeah, yeah

and there's no other seats By the way, not just on the subway at the airport when you're waiting to board the flight people do that with their bag The luggage It's fucking rude I'm sure their argument

would be like if you ask I'll move it but now you have created a barrier for me to ask because most people don't want that interaction Exactly excuse me can I No now

you already have some power over me I don't like it. I'm with you. I'm with you. Just put it on your lap. People that do something rude knowing you have to ask, that's rude. That's another level of rude. Exactly.

They know what you have to ask and that's a whole other. Because I know they have a technical. It's like, oh, no, no, no, I'm not taking it. Right. They have an out. And then when you ask, they ask them, oh, no, no, please. It's like, I don't want to ask. You're creating a social barrier for me.

You're right. They know that. It's like when the guy sits on the outside seat of a, like on a train, like a Amtrak. now I got to go, hey, can I get in there or can you move over? They know what they're doing. But that person might want the aisle. That's different, I think.

I'm a tall guy. I want the aisle. But if somebody walks by and they go, can I get in there? You go, oh, sure. Yeah. All right, all right. Of course.

Wait, if I say no, I got both seats. What if it's a short guy? What do you mean? If a short guy's on the outside, I think he wants, he's subconsciously going, keep walking, Dickless. You call me dickless? And he woke him in the seat?

That guy's an asshole. I got a peeve for you. You guys are going to hate this one. All right. How about this guy? The guy, you meet a guy, I'm not going to give him the whole situation. We meet a guy and he goes, come on. And he goes, I'm going over here and he goes, I don't bite.

Like, I don't bite. That's weird, man. Yeah, like, I know you don't bite. I'm not sitting next to you because I was like, oh, he's going to bite me. I'm not sitting next to you because I want to sit over there. That's gross. I don't like the, I don't like this. Yeah, who does that to a grown man?

What am I a fucking Yorkshire Terrier? And I bet you, and I bet you, that guy doesn't? That guy does the same thing to women, which is super gross. Right, right. That's so, no, you know what he does to women? Oh, I don't bite. Oh, yeah, you probably saw that at the club. Yeah, probably.

Yeah, it's great. Come on, saucy. Yeah, that's no good. Yeah, I don't bite. Yeah, we got it. I never thought you bit. But that's your way of being like I'm not a creep, but by acknowledging you are kind of a creep.

Yeah, yeah, and bite. It's like trying to be cute, too. I hate it. I hate all the light. Yeah. I got a small peeve. Please. When people say,

oh you got to hear this song i got to play a song for you and then they play it on their phone yeah because now you gotta reactimal no it's not optimal i can't hear the fucking song i don't do that i do this with vita on the road we sometimes we but we always share through text so you can listen on your own time that's the way to do it okay you should listen to mark and i i mean look all of us we send each other videos all the time we don't just say here watch this video you don't put me on a spot i like the sending of the it's like i think a video is like a favor put it in writing yes give me a set you know what i mean some people just do this there you guys Go check that out.

Yeah, I can't even hear it. I got to do this. Right. And they're like, you don't like it? You don't like it? I'm like, I just need some time. Let me process it. Yeah.

I hate it. Hate the forced. Let me show you. Let me ask the tall guy question. I was in the middle. I was stuck in a middle seat. Usually I have flat business, okay? But this, I know no seats.

I was stuck in a middle seat. And the guy next to me, his leg was encroaching into my middle seat. Oh, crazy. Now, he pretends to be passed out. I don't think he's passed out. But then I realized this guy is like 6-5. He's massive. Sure.

Now, he could put his leg together, but it's very uncomfortable, I'm sure. So me as a short guy, like, you know, this is a regular seat that's very nice for me. Yeah. So I kind of understand. Like, so should that be, should I be pissed off? Yeah, you should, because your seat is your seat. Right. I had a situation.

I was flying in Europe and I booked a business thing just for the fast track, not even for, because the seats on these Europe. and airline suck anyway. Your business is like a regular seat and there's no one sitting next to you. That's the perk. But I booked it for fast tracks, so I wouldn't have to go through, you could cruise through security. But I'm sitting there and they go, hey, some people are running late for their next flight.

Would you mind moving to the middle seat? And then he sits here so we can run off. And I was like, yeah, that's fine. That's, you know, but I'm a little annoyed because I paid for a business seat and I have to now sit in the middle. Yeah, that sucks. And not only does he sit next to me, he's fucking enormous. And he does.

And he does this shit where he's just mushing me. And I was just like, it was only like 25 minutes, but I was like, that was pretty annoying. That's bad. You did the favor and still got fucked. And he did the thing. So I did the thing where I was like, I kind of pushed his arm back. Yeah. And he accepted.

Okay. Oh, okay. That helps. But he pushed, but he came in hot. Yeah. That's going to be the worst time. Being fat is hard. Being obese has got to be hard.

He was a muscle guy. Oh, he's a muscle guy. That's different. But being fat on a flight is got to be like. damn, I kind of regret all those croissants. I had an older... It's a French fat guy. He's a classy fat guy.

Uh-huh, I'm glad to shit. I had an older lady. She probably had the worst flight of her life. She got upgraded to first class, but not like to lay down, just like the wider seats. But she had a whole panic, full on panic episode because this is her first time in first class. And she's not huge.

She's just kind of big. And she needed an extender. Because the seats are wider and the seatbelt are shorter, right? So you have less seatbelt to go around. She's like, this has never happened to me. So it's the worst upgrade of her life. I was like, no, no, no, ladies, seats are just wider. You're fine.

She upgraded to shame. Yeah. Yeah. Was she? Same air. Was she really big? She was just like a bigger, older, like not massive by any means. Yeah.

I had a bit. This is going to sound bad. But I had a lady on a flight. She was huge. And she was wearing like a skimpy outfit while being huge. So there's a lot of skin and stuff showing, which is fine. Do what you've got to do. You go girl. But she smelled horrific.

Like crazy body odor. And it was that weird soury, kind of milky sense. So you're like, and then you look at her and it all just adds together. And I had to ask the flight of it for a mask. I was like I had to get a mask. You had to get a COVID nut. I'm like the COVID nut. Well, you got to ask for it was like coffee beans. That's what you need. Is that right? Because it's, you know, I remember there was a real, I was on a flight with Phil Hanley once, and we were both flying to L.A., and I was next to someone who smelled so fucking.

Yeah, yeah. And I just, I just was like, what do I do? This is unbearable. So I just walked over to someone. I pulled a dick move. I said, I'm sorry, would you mind switching with me? It's one of my really good friends. And they go, yeah, sure. And they switch with me. And the second they switched, they just looked at me like, oh. And I was like, I got you. No backsies. Fuck. And it was a dick move, but... Well... I can't really defend it. I was going to say but, but there's no defense. I pulled a dick move.

Now, if someone working in the service industry, I had a driver once, like an Uber driver. Yeah. That just smelled horrific. Yeah. Like, I understand a regular stranger customer. That's a tough one for this long hours, too. Yeah.

You got to bring a deodorant if you're a driver. The Uber driver is like, say the waiter. Do you say something? Like, is it because nobody has told them? Like, is it now up to me? I wouldn't say it to a waiter. That's what it feels weird. Okay, an Uber driver.

You're in the same small spot. You're like, hey, man, maybe just a little deodorant. Just for your future customers. I don't think I would say. I wouldn't know. That's the problem. No one will say it. No one says it.

You don't be the guy. And it's an Uber. So how long? You're not going to be with this guy forever. Does he know? I don't think so. The worst is when you get one and it's like, you're like, you're going to a JFK airport and it's going to be like an hour and a half.

And you're just like, fuck. Let's pop that window. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. trying to give them signs. I just pull up to another car. I'm like, hey, do you want to

switch Uber? I'll do this one every now and then. But then they think you farted. I think we got to say something. Somebody's got to say something. Smell something, say something. Because they don't know. Maybe they don't know. You never got to see them again. Taxi driver is a hard one because those guys would fucking bang out like 18 hours shifts. So that's why they smell. It's because they don't go home. But some people just smell like it's a cultural thing. I flew back from Africa. It was the worst plane flight. Like everyone had B.O.

The whole plane, I was the only, I was the minority without B.O. And it was wild. Yeah, and it was wild. It was, you know, it was like a 19-hour flight. And I was just like, ah, eyes were watering, my ears were bleeding. By the way, that was his honeymoon and he flew coach. No, no, that was

a different time I went to Africa. Oh, wow. Sorry. But I did fly coach. But yeah, I was in the back with this kid, and the kid smelled great. but this has gone so many bad directions Yeah Yeah The kid's cute

Are these breast implants? Yeah Yeah Hey Huh Used No fresh But they've been squeezed

Many of these I don't know What are these It's like a C Where I come from They're pretty big Is this a C? Yeah

It's nice You get a nice little handful Yeah That's all you need It's nice Yeah not bad How do you feel What's your type of woman

Yeah Because you're clearly single You're here for six months Right Yeah, I would say, man, dating in New York has been so much better in L.A. Oh, you're single. Wow. You know, L.A. it seems like, you know, I'm scraping by. I'm like, if there's a chick that's like semi-attractive, I'm like, oh, please, you know.

But then once you come to New York, like, I think there's a ratio, you know. Yeah, for sure. There's more women than men. And the girls actually appreciate you if you're a decent guy. And they appreciate, you know. Anyways. So for a long time, because I was American maxing, I was into white girls. Fetish.

That seems like, yeah, a white fetish. Was it like a very classic, like blonde hair, that type of white hair? Totally, you know. One of my ex-girlfriend was very blonde. That didn't work out. But now- Why didn't it work out? Well, for various reasons.

I think I had a lot of blind spots. And we just say, we dated for like two and a half years. I should have broke up with her maybe a year in, you know. But I feel like, look, correct. I said the same thing to Ronnie. I think Asian guys are having a moment. Yeah, oh, for sure. When I was younger, Asian guys couldn't get laid by white chicks,

and now white women like Asian guys. There are girls that are like, oh my God, I love K-pop, I love this, like this is my thing. That's what I'm saying. Back in the day, we didn't really have a reference. Right. When I was in school, like, oh, Asian man, that's too foreign for me.

That's too weird for me or whatever. Even kind of a white guy. People go out of their way to date like Asian. Let's not pull up my ex-girlfriend, you know. Relationship is one. Yeah, anyways. One, Jesus Christ. Lord. But anyways, I am...

Hong Konger? Is that how you say it? You're a Hong Konger. He can say Hong Kong. Oh, I didn't know that. All right. Good to know. What site is this? Who dates this? He made who. He put this to... So what type of woman are you looking for now? So I had my slow transition. I started dating half Asian women. And then now I'm like, I think I'm more dating for Asian women.

Wow. It's like cocktails. You start like, let's do a mixer. Yeah. do on the rocks, now you're just going neat. Yeah, that's right. That's exactly what it is. I think the cultural similarity, like if it's a casual dating, who cares, right? But if you're dating to be serious,

maybe, you know, I do want to get married. Is it important to your family that you're with an Asian person? Yeah, I don't think they say it, you know, but they would like it. Like I've been seeing this girl, I'm like, one thought that keep her meaning, she's a great girl.

But then I'm like, my mom would love this girl. And I think that's important to me. Of course. And there's cultural. similarities. I've dated girls of all different ethnicity and I can't say they're rude but they just didn't grow up with the same

cultural respect that I had you know like saying an older person come in whether a family friend or whatever I'm not related you call them uncle auntie whatever right a lot people don't have that right and and to me instead of like oh what the fuck

you're so rude it's like we grew up differently right there is really some stock to dating someone that grew up with similar manners. 100%. You don't have to get mad about it. You don't have to teach them your culture.

That chasm is smaller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that's important. Do you have that with Jew with the mom? She's never, like, put pressure on me, but I think, yeah, I think she would like it, for sure. Yeah. Is your girl? She's Jewish, yeah.

First Jew I've ever dated. Whoa. Wow. I'm like you, dude. Yeah, there you go. I started with Asians. I went to juice. Yeah.

That's true. Yeah, yeah. There is a thing about Jewish guys and an Asian girl. That's a real thing. That's true. Because culturally, we are very similar. Yeah. Family-oriented.

You know, in a family-oriented. You know, every group is family-oriented, don't you think? When you break it down, Italians. Yeah. They're all kind of, you know. But like an average white in America doesn't care about family as much. I don't care. I don't get a shit.

I don't even think about it. Yeah. Like, you're like, I want a lady from my mom. I'm like, my mom is not entering my mom. Mark's wife calls, he just presses ignore. Goes back to this. My kid's in a waymo right now. But yeah, no, that's nice.

It'll happen. And I think, is it stupid to go? I mean, this is the stupidest question I've ever asked. So don't hold it against me. Could you go to, do you go to Chinatown and go, hey? This is pretty good. Well, I would say I went back. If I went to Little Nola, I would love it.

That's literally like me going into Cats' Deli, like, all right. I'm sure you do. You see the rabbi, the, the, the. the moyle. I would say that's why I think it was important for me to go back to Hong Kong. Yes. To go back home to see the culture. I got back in touch with my elementary school friends.

You know, I went out on a couple of dates and stuff. But it's, I am also at the same time very American now. So I need someone that's like as like the right amount of Asian for me, if that makes sense. Like if somebody from Hong Kong and never left Hong Kong, that doesn't, I'm too American for them probably. Right, right. You know.

And also, I don't know. Like, like, like, I, in Hong Kong. and if I go to Chinatown, I was looking at apartments at my real estate and took me to Chinatown. I'm like, I can't, I can't live here. She was like, why? I was like, you see why. And I was left the apartment, like, 10 kids were like waiting for me, like to take a picture.

Like, I'm like, this is not a real human interaction anymore. I didn't even think about that. Damn, the fans are all there. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, yes, but you found an area you like? I am in Soho now. I wasn't Greenwich. I loved Greenwich.

I was in this Airbnb, but then three weeks in. the location was great, but starting getting mice, which is a quintessential in New York experience. Yep, yep. Got some money back, moved out. Now I'm in my friend's house. She's never here, so I'm at her house in Soho. It's great. Beautiful.

Yeah. All right. Really nice. I mean, there's the women in Soho. Unreal. Oh, my God. You walk out. It's like legitimate, like L.A. you have Instagram models.

Here there's legitimate runway models every block you go. I know. Especially in that area. And they have substance. They can have a conversation. Right. It's unbelievable. I would say things are incredibly expensive here.

It's crazy. It's crazy. It's like $40 for an appetizer. I know. It's crazy. Banana. Cocktails 22 now. It's bananas. Yeah.

A part of me was like, man, so good, so fun here. I love the big city. Hong Kong is a big city. I'm like, why didn't I move to New York like earlier 10 years ago? But now I'm like, 10 years ago, I would have been struggling. Do you think you would stay here after all this? I was spent some time here, but actually last year I moved to Vegas. And I'm really enjoying that.

Oh, so. Vegas is home, not LA. Yeah, yeah. How did you land on Vegas? At first, a bunch of my friends are moving there. Was it taxes? And then they were telling me, dude, you say, because I tore so much. I'm like, you know, why am I paying?

And then at first I started tax. But then I bought this old ranch house in like old Vegas. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Not expensive. And I don't even see my neighbors and it's so peaceful. People don't understand me when I say Vegas is peaceful. And the food is great.

I can go gamble and have fun if I want to. But I can also drive around without no traffic. go around, no frustration. Yeah. I just don't get L.A. We get you on that. Yeah. L.A.'s cool to visit.

It's awesome. A lot of history, a lot of culture, but living there, the traffic, the homeless, the fires. And it's basically a suburb. Right. Pretending to be a city. Right. But you get the worst part of a suburb and a city, the traffic, the location. And people just, they don't hang out.

Yes. You got plans. And all my friends in L.A. either moved out of L.A. after the pandemic because they gave it. up on acting and won't have kids or whatever. Or they had kids and got married in LA and now I'm the only left behind. Right. I got nobody to hang out with anyways.

Yeah. And also culturally, art-wise, even the comedy store. It's so dead now in Illinois. Interesting. Sunset St.Strep is dead. There's so many stores. Melrose you walk down is closed. So many stores closed.

San Monica Thurgyz is dead. Post-COVID and then post-strike, I think. Ah, the strike. I have homies who. Amazing cameraman, great crew people, couldn't get a job. That's awful. In L.A. to save their, couldn't pay their mortgage. But in New York, it's the opposite.

I got makeup artists like, oh, yeah, if I take a day off, I can call five friends. And they were like, come day play on this day. Because the tax credit in New Jersey and New York is crazy good. Damn. They've got to get California back on track for that. I don't know if it's ever going to. Vegas is trying to, there were one vote away from some tax credit. And Sony and Mark Wahlberg's there, and they were ready to build some studios.

I think I think Vegas would be popping and they got all the sports teams going right right you know so football and they got yeah it is yeah crazy hot sorry what were you saying oh no I said football and they got hockey and everything now it's basketball's come in are they definitely getting a basketball team coming them in uh Seattle huh Seattle deserves it too yeah yeah fucking robbed yeah is a great fan they got they had the sonics in the 90s they were so cool Kemp and paid and everything yeah what happened they the owner moved him to Oklahoma City uh Oh, right. Which is, I mean, worked out for them.

Sure. Yeah, the team's good, but it's fucked up. That was a cool franchise. Same thing I feel about the San Diego Chargers. L.A. doesn't need another team. I agree. Also, SoFi Stadium is the worst sports experience you're going to have. Here we go.

Hot take. I went to the World Cup. Fortunately enough, I went to three or four games. I went to MedLife. I went to Vancouver. It was so fun of Vancouver. Yeah. Vancouver's a great city.

One of my absolute favorite cities. Beautiful town. But the heroin's out of control. But it's a great thing. Oh, yeah. And the girls are nice. A lot of hot. Hancover.

Hongover, they call Hong Cooper. Great food. The girls are nice and they don't know how hot they are. Right. I love a low self-esteem. Yeah. No, it just their peers are so hot. They're like, I'm average.

I'm like, you're the hottest chick I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah. But the stadium was two blocks away from my friend's house in downtown. And downtown's not like cracked out downtown L.A. After that, you have like a whole pedestrian walk. Like, it's just so fun, like a beer crawl. whatever. And then LA, it's an hour and a half to get the SoFi.

Once you get to SoFi, it's another hour to find your goddamn entrance. Right. And then you, there's no vibe inside SoFi. I know a state of art or whatever. It's all escalators going up and down. They have no food. The food is just hot dogs, okay? You know how every stadium has like, you know, New York's best food in the same?

San Francisco's best food at Levi Stadium. SoFi has nothing. It's just emptiness. And I get it. But I do you feel like they're overdoing the food at these sporting events. Like, I don't need a fucking rib eye. at a game, you know? But give me something.

Tacos. Something. Give me something. A good hoagie. Like, MetLife had a hoagie, had a pasta station. I'm not saying I'm going to get it. But I feel like I'm in New York. There's a history here.

But there's something special about going to a baseball game and having a hot dog and peanuts. Yeah. There was something cool about that. Yeah. I don't know. I'm a big hot dog guy. But so far, I just. Me neither, but at a game, it's kind of fun.

I don't know. Once they say, state of the art, anything, stadium, whatever. It just takes the enjoyment of it way. Have you guys been to the Intuit Dome? I haven't. It looks insane. Equally as bad. Really?

Because, first of all, the Inuit Dome, SoFi Stadium, and the forum is on Englewood. So sometimes all three got some going. And Inglewood was an hour and a half from everyone. Of course. And then you go down there. I love the forum. It's one of my favorite venues to go to. Great spot.

I did a show at the forum. It was a dream for true. Amazing. Right. And the audio is great because it's old school. And it's easy to get in and out. and Intuit Dome, they do this thing where you can't pay with your credit card. They scan your face.

And then the first night, Bruno Mars concert didn't work. The concert was like an hour late. How did they scan your face? I don't know. It's a weird facial recognition. You hook it up to the Intuit app and the credit card. I hate stadiums. You have to download its own app.

Too many apps. To get into the Gatsm Stadium stadiums. I'm sick of apps. No more apps. I have so many apps that to use some apps that I actually like. I have to redownload them. I went through the U.S. Open. Okay, I got a ticket from.

Ticketmaster, right? Now you've got to download U.S. Open Ticketmaster. It's like, oh my God. I'm going to use this once every three years. Are you kidding me? Enough. And then into it, though, it's the weirdest thing. They have these suites. They have these suites that have no windows and you can't see outside. What?

It's for like businesses. They say, state of the art. There's a fucking touch screen. You're going to order chicken tenders. Man, this is most animated you've been. It's like, it looks like a goddamn prison. Yeah. I'm a Clippers fan, so I'm like really mad about everything. You're really mad. You guys, holy shit.

We got a host, man. Ten years of just, Jim Jeffries actually texted me the other day. He's like, we got fucked. Really? Jim's a Clippers fan. Yeah, a few comics who are Clippers. My boy, Brian Cullen, who does all my video stuff in L.A. And it's helping on my movie.

It's the biggest clipper fan I ever know. He worked for the team. He's crushed. That Kauai trade destroyed your fucking franchise. That's already five picks. You gave OKC the championship from that one trade, right? Mark, they gave away Shay Gil. August Alexander, who you know who that is. He's the MVP. They traded him for Paul George

and they gave five picks. So this guy turns out to be the MVP of the league. They trade him when he was young. So they already gave up five picks. Now, because they did some meddling with Kauai to circumvent the salary cap, they lose another five first round picks as a penalty. We're done. We're done. Ten years. Wow. You're losing ten years. That's crazy. I've never sports fans are usually pretty, I don't care every Jets fan or whatever. You stay with it. Yeah. He's just fan for life. Clippers fan. I can a longer be a Clippers fan.

I used to have season tickets, the Blake Griffin era. And right when I came to America, because Clippers tickets was way cheaper in Lakers' team. So we'll go. Third court, they get blown out. Who was your star back then? Poo Richardson? It was Darius Miles. Oh, okay.

Cori McGettie, that crew. He was ripped. Yeah, he was ripped. We couldn't win a game, but it was exciting. Lamar Odom. Yeah. I liked it. I liked to root for a losing team.

And if they're fun. If they win anything, you feel like a sense of Right. Like the Jets win a game, you're like fucking celebration. Yeah, yeah. I like dating mentally a woman because it's awful, but if it's one good day, you're like, pretty good. It's abusive. It's abusive relationship you learn to be used to. But now I am exiting. I am no longer, I can't. So who's your team? We got a lot of room for you here in New York.

Yeah, I feel like Nix. I love the Nix, but they're already championship. Maybe I have to roof the Brooklyn Nets. No, fuck the Nets. No, no, why, why. What's wrong with the Nets? You know, I got a roofed for the NICs. You know, I got a roof for the Knicks. the dog. I think you can start fresh after what the Clippers have done to you. Yeah. But you can't be a Nets fan. They're the Clippers in New York. I know, and I'm okay with that. As long as they don't give away 10 picks and the MVP, I think I'm fine. Although shout out Julius Randall, who we'll always have a soft spot for Julius Randall for the next year's coming to the Nets. I'm going to I'm going to be a Raiders fan. I'm already Raiders. Vegas Raiders. Okay. Maybe on the Vegas expansion

team, because Vegas, I would say there's not a lot of, there's not a lot of, there's not a locals in Vegas. Once people find out you're in Vegas, like I went to two like Golden Knights games and it's just a vibe, man. It's a great vibe. That's a, the hot, the hockey live is the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But wait, if there's no locals, who's filling up these stadiums? There's locals. There are locals. I'm just saying it's like compared to New York and when you play Vegas, you have people who live in Vegas. Yeah, sure. It's not just transients doing that. That's true. That's why I was confused. Yeah, but people show you love. Like, you know, if you say you in New York, okay, everyone's in New York. Like, who cares, right? Like,

just a lot of New Yorkers, cooler than me. But if you go to, like, Vegas, man, I, like, I became friends with, like, one of the guys at the UFC, like the local casino, like the knights people reached out, the Raiders people reached out.

Damn. Come hang out on our facility. It's a smaller pond. Oh, man, this is so fun. Yeah. It's like joining a frat or something. Yeah. They're greasing you up.

It's one of the biggest cities in the world because of tourism. Right. But for locals, it's still, like you said, a smaller pond. Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. It's a really cool city.

Yeah. Now, I heard Vegas is, is having a tough go. With tourism. Yeah. Everything got too pricey. Well, I don't gamble in your phone. Exactly.

That'll do it. Well, that's the new epidemic. They say for young men. I know. They're losing millions and billions these young guys. I know. It's a problem. They're all gambling at home.

They're not going out. I have a theory. Guys aren't talking to women. We should gamble on that. You know, like, hey, I bet you can't fuck Sally. I'll take that bet. Plus, $1,200 on Fanduel. Yeah.

Put the whole thing on draft kings. Polymark. Well, that's what Pollymarket's doing right you can kind of gamble on weird shit exactly yeah yeah Vegas was like you're right it's it was a destination and well you get a 60 dollar ticket on whatever you know spirit yeah and you get over there spirit's dead dude spirit's dead and now the hotel you get a shitty hotel for cheap and just go gamble all day and hit the pool that that shit's over i'll tell you what bugs me about Vegas though when you're in that hotel room and it's an 18 dollar bottle of water that's what I'm like you're already killing me at the

tables I'm in a desert you can't charge 18 dollars short Water. Private equity took over. It's $40 for parking everywhere. Yeah. So it's no longer because back in the day, it's like, we're going to give you free shit. Even if you're like, even if you only got $300 to spend, we give you all this free shit, just spend. Just gamble.

Right, right. But now, man, like, I think I study this because our show is about casinos. So the Vegas revenue is 50% from gambling and then 50% from entertainment. Going to clubs and everything. So they focus a lot on that. Whereas Macau is still like 80% gamble. And like 20% gaming, like back in the day in Vegas before all these shows or that they try to fuck you on parking and the water. It's just, hey, come gamble.

We'll take the 0.6% margin on a 3 to 2 blackjack on a double deck. Now, like most people don't know the math, but every blackjack table that's under $100 minimum, it's 6 to 5. Your odds are terrible. Terrible. Triple zero roulette. Right. Wow. But the higher you gamble, the higher you gamble, the better your odds are?

Yes. So if you gamble 100 bucks a hand, you get the better, like, regular blackjack odds. If you play it perfectly, the house edge is only about 0.6%. But nobody plays it perfectly. And I usually, and all Vegas locals I know, go to the local casinos. You go to Circa, you go to Red Rocks. And they have good $25 minimum, but they give you, like, good odds. They know the locals know what's up. They don't try to fuck you. Damn. How much you gamble? I gamble, but I have like an ATM limit. Like I don't gamble tens of thousands. Like I can lose a thousand dollars max a day. Okay. But I don't gamble every day, obviously. Yeah.

But I have a good time. You might go hit that casino in Queens. Oh, hell yeah. That's new, right? That's opening up. Have you guys been? No, no. We're not big gamblers.

I love gambling. I mean, I'll do it if I'm at a casino. But I also like, man, when I start playing casinos, you're making so little money. You're like, I don't want to lose the shit that I'm making. Yeah. So I think it was just kind of instill to me to not do it because I'm not a good enough gambler. You know, and Norm MacDonald couldn't.

You have to give the check to the agent because he would just gamble all the way. Oh. Yeah, I'm like, it's like going to Disneyland. I know I'm like, let me just pay this $300 on entrance fee. I'm having, it's like David Busters. Let me get whatever coins.

I'll have fun. Yeah. They say an Asian dealer is bad luck. Have you heard that? I have a whole bit about it. Whoa. I don't play against Asian dealers. What?

Yeah. Come on. I don't, it's, well, it depends on the vibe. A lot of them, they just don't care. Right. If you lose, they just go super fast, you lose, fuck you, whatever. Sometimes you have a nice, like, especially these like Eastern European white guys, white ladies or like a black woman. Yeah.

So nice. It's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, I got 20. Like, they're on your side. Yeah, yeah, that goes a long way. Yeah, I'll keep you there longer, too. Exactly. Yeah, I like those. And the local casinos, you get that a little more.

Remember that movie, the cooler with William H. Macy? Oh, yeah. Where he's just bad luck. So his whole, the casino hires him, and he just sits at the table. If someone's on a heater, they just start. losing the piece shows up. It's fun. It's great. Do you hear something really sinister? Those online gambling sites are targeting their ads to losers. I saw this on Instagram. People who have lost before, they flood them with ads to be like, get back on. I thought you meant just not cool people.

I haven't gotten a lot of those ads pop up lately. People live in their parents' basements. Yeah. I thought the same thing. Damn, I didn't know you, you know you're gambling. Well, I have to study because my role in the show, I'm a casino president. So I need to know. It was the coolest thing. Me and Oscar Isaac and our director were in Vegas researching. And people are like so stoked to show us around. You know, I know the owner of Circa.

He showed us like the back of his sports book. Wouldn't make the odds? You know, I was a Cesar Pass. This guy, shout out to my guy, Michael, who was like a casino executive. It was just like showing me the ins and outs of like how he runs, you know, the high roller section or whatever. And then went to the wind. Everyone was like so open and willing. I'm sure there's some secret areas they don't let us in.

But they were all very excited to share And I learned a ton You know Yeah Wow that is really cool Yeah I can't gamble I'm just

The pressure is too much Like the guy next year Going hey Don't don't bet on that You idiot Right Oh fuck I'm sorry I do a little bit of the sports stuff

In my phone just But you know Yeah I don't get carried away with it Sports book I like You get the couch You got the TV You get the lady with the beer

It's great Yeah sports is great It makes it more exciting You don't care About every football game Yeah But tonight if I put 50 bucks on somebody, then I'm invested.

Remember Artie Lang's old bit about he's like, you want to make a Giants game exciting, bet a thousand dollars on it when you have 500 in your checking account? Great bit. How about Dick T'pala's bit? Oh, you never said the N-word? I guess you haven't put 500 bucks out of Clippers game.

His bit. Not mine. Something like that. What time is football? Seven? Eight 20. Yeah, well, we'll plug some dates, dude. We're going to be coming up.

up. When is this episode coming out? The 4th of October. Oh, okay, cool. I will be announcing my tour next week. Nice. On, I think, yeah, that next week, like October 13th or some. So keep an eye out on Jimmycom.

All that shows will be all populated. So next January to, like, May of 2027, I'll be doing my American tour, and then international dates will be added. That picture is great. He looks like he's mad at you for not purchased. tickets immediately. Yeah, right? Is there, we're doing theaters?

Are we doing clubs? Are you working on a new hour? What are you looking at? I'm working on a new hour. I think I'm doing like two arenas, but everything else I want to do like. How do you work out in an arena? No, no, this is not working out later. But like I want to do like the beacon, like the perfect size theater.

That's a great great. I think it's like 2,000 seats. I think that's the perfect theater. I think it's 32. Really is it? I believe so. I think anything bigger. Like I didn't like Chicago theaters.

It's 3500. I love that one. But it was very cavernous. Radio City, it was an honor to do. It was beautiful. Didn't like the acoustics. It's way too big. Yeah.

A thousand seats. Yeah. So I'm kind of grinding it out. Can I ask a quick question? Has like New York energy affected the way you write bits or like inspired you in any different way than normal? I hope it will. I haven't written anything new since I've been here. So I don't know.

But I think I'm going to probably pop in to say New York Comedy Club or something. Somewhere where they let me in. and do like some like Jimmy trying new material nights Come hang with us at the cellar one night Yeah Yeah yeah dope I got three shows in the city You're always welcome

Two at New York, one at the cellar Oh awesome, yeah that'll be great Hit me up All right I'm gonna be the comedy on state In Madison Working on the New Hour We added a show

Portland Helium Charlton Musical In South Carolina Oh yeah San Jose Improv Cap City Tropicana Back at the Casino

The Palazzo in Vegas Hey do a guess that have you around. Yeah. Charlotte Comedy Zone, Foxwoods, and that's next year. So we're good. All right, I got a Netflix special out. Just came out.

Sam Relle, incorrect. Very exciting. Just came out on Netflix. Please give it a watch. Hopefully it's doing well right now. Yeah, I'm going to be in Phoenix, Arizona, stand-up live, November 13th through 15th. Great Club. Then the following weekend, the Pittsburgh Improv.

Then I'll be at hilarities. Love that club. December 3rd through 5th. Madison, Wisconsin. December 10 through 12th, and Tammone, Maryland, and Magoobee's December 17th through 19th, and yeah, you get the gist. Samarrel.com or just find us on punch-up, but dude, it's great to meet you and chat with you. Call it right now, so we're in the top 10. I'm putting out good ju-ju.

I hope so. Yeah. Into the world. And buy some bodega cat whiskey, folks. Yeah. We'll see you very soon. All right, thank you, Jimmy. Appreciate it, guys.

Thank you. close I've had a little too much talking shit about the fucking Pope and I get down in the same way up on the roof like dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans this woman doesn't look like I remember her and I