We Might Be Drunk - Knicks Fever! - Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

Mark and Sam celebrate the Knicks' first championship in 53 years, reliving the Finals run, the citywide madness that followed, and why Jalen Brunson has become the perfect New York sports hero. They swap stories from parade week, break down the Spurs rivalry, debate sports fandom, revisit old comedy memories from the New York club scene, and share recommendations for books, movies, and TV. Plus: Hooters Airlines, rental car nightmares, ice cream hot takes, pet peeves, and why New York has never felt more united. Sponsored by: Fabletics https://fabletics.com/wmbd Shopify Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/drunk Hims To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/DRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD: https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #Knicks #JalenBrunson #NBAFinals #Fabletics #Shopify #Hims #BodegaCatWhiskey #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

the Knicks win. What a time to be alive, dude. I mean, that was 53 years, dude. Unbelievable. I said it. Somebody tweeted it, so they're going to think I stole it,

but I said it two weeks ago. It's a good 9-11. Yeah. The whole city's together. Everybody's going nuts. Could you just say it's good. Yeah. We don't have to bring up 9-11.

Wow. Yeah, it was. No, you're right. I think the tweet I saw was a reverse 911. A reverse, yeah. And I was like, I should have tweeted it a week ago, but I didn't know they were going to win.

Yeah. No, it was on fire, dude. I guess it was 9-11. The city's on fire. It's unbelievable. And we took down two towers. Whemby and the other guy. It's really just, Cornette's not a tower.

What's 7'4-1? He's big, but Wembe's the tower. 7-4. That's adorable. I get so many congratulations. And from so many, like, childhood friends hitting me up. So many people like, I'm so happy. Fucking Bill Burr even hit me up.

And I sent him back that, and he laughed. And I was like, picturing Burr finding this funny makes me laugh. I love it. I love it. Because he's such a curmudgeon, but then you can't, you can't resist. It's adorable. It's so cute. And I brought, and I brought some stuff for the studio, if I may.

Whoa. Is that right? First off, we're going to have to find some wall space for, uh... You got the post? For this. Whoa! That's a collector's item now. Going to get wall space for that one.

Woo! Need some wall space for this one. Champs. What does that? Do you see that? Champs. Oh, hell yeah. And.

Boom. Whoa! Oh, that's for everybody. Wow. I feel like Brunson. Look at that. Woo! Hey, hey, we put out Tand France too soon.

Damn. What a fucking ride, dude. Thank you, thank you, Dad. I never thought I'd get to buy them. So when you're there, you're like, I want everyone to. Yeah, just think of what the city made alone on merch. My God, it's going to be through the roof. Dude, it's so cool.

It's such a cool time. and uh... huge for the city I was in shock I mean you start to believe belief can be scary because when you're like

Brunson did something to this fan base where like we thought we overhyped him and maybe at the time we were yeah you know we got to a point where my buddy

Dan Labetard said I think you guys would rather lose with Brunson than win with someone else and I said I think you're right I think you're right because of the way he carried himself

and the way he fucking thank you a cat and soda Just looks straight up Oh Oh that's good shit though Alright Hey Mazel champions We

Yeah I mean this is It's on fire man Yeah The way he conducts himself The way he Led the team This whole team's incredible He's such a great role model

The dad is right there He's so humble No ego You don't see this kind of shit anymore This feels very old school And what a captain. Also he's little. He got to love that.

And just the layers in this thing. Like Ben Stiller's doing a doc, he announced. I can't wait to see it. But there's so many layers. Just like the 53 years, the Jewish wife. By the way, every Jew's been like, you know he has a Jewish wife? Yes, you think I don't know? Yeah.

Of course I know. Wembe, who's supposed to be the face of the NBA, got fucking snuffed out, that French quiff. We took him out. He was a pissy at the end. I'd just never seen a French person be rude and arrogant before. I didn't know it was possible, but here we are. Exactly. New stereotype, I guess.

Yeah, the city coming together, the people out on the school buses. I mean, there's so many layers to it. Yeah, I mean, it was a built-up. Chalabay? It was a built-up nut. It finally exploded. Yes. All over the city.

You know the scene in scary movie when he finally fucks Anna Farris and he just shoots her out of the ceiling? Yeah. That was all of us. We just all were like, holy shit. So, yeah, I mean, I watched it Stavs. new pod studio and it's on between six and seven so we just walked on the seventh oh i saw you guys walk out i was i was in l.a in a green room the worst across the country in a green room and i see you guys go out in the street he's got the pizza he went full chunk from goonies hawaiian shirt

pizza well here's the thing about stov so we recreated our outfits from when the nicks beat without even coordinated whoa so when the nix beat the seltics we wore the exact same thing that we to that game game six last year so magical so stav and i just by chance we're like we just recreated the whole and he was like we're both psychos that's amazing love it i mean yeah just seeing you guys out on the street you can just walk out on the street

and there's a party everywhere you go no matter what neighborhood this is the moment this is the final moment this is right before lemby wow holy shit that's incredible filmed by judd appetow that's why it's well filmed is that right yeah oh wow

When you're hanging out with the director, he's always on. The way Salafers is always just snapping photos. Yeah. Oh, this is nice. I love it. Yeah, what a special night, man. And it was lunacy on 7th Avenue. Just complete madness, complete mayhem.

Yeah, what else you got? These are great. I'm looking for your other one. Oh, here it is. Wow. Just magic, dude. So cool, you can just go outside and there's a party. What a great feeling. Yeah, New York.

And can I just say, what's great about this, the Knicks winning. Whoa. It's JP and stop, Mars. There you go. Well, what's great about the Knicks winning is no one has ruined it yet. Nothing has been come out about, hey, Jay Brunson actually killed a kid in 1988. Or, hey, the Knickerbock is actually a racist term. Or, hey, you know, basketball was invented by the Native American.

We can just have a fun time. Nobody fucked with it. Nobody pushed on it. It's just good stuff. It's just good to see a March in America that stands for something nice. Yes, exactly. No racism. No man.

It's just pure joy. Pure joy. Hugging strangers. I saw one lady tried to say something was a, like, this is all because of capitalism. And everybody went, shut the fuck up, blow me, kill yourself. And I was like, yes, enough. Don't ruin it. And then you realize this is how it used to be.

It's always got to be one party, pooper. I know. I know. So that was nice. Just somebody, like, Mom, Donnie, and then Trump is there, and Seinfeld and Chalameh and DJ Cal. I mean, there's so many moving parts. Larry David. Oh, my God.

Josh Hart almost killed him when he missed that layup. Do you see when he fell? Oh, he did like a full black church, my son's in the casket. That's like the curve finale is Larry's in a coma because Josh Hart misses the fucking layup. That was bad. When someone asked Brunson, what was the highlight or what was the moment? Yes. And he said, the blown layup.

He's like, I'm not just busting his balls either. He was like, that's when I knew we had to pick each other up. Whoa. That's what a team does, man. Yeah. What's cool is they just all were all about each other. And then you see the spurs and they were just like, you know, we, you know, we, you know, They didn't give the Knicks any credit.

It was poor sportsmanship. The good guy won. And the Spurs, like, look, Wemby's going to win his championship. Sure, sure. He's an incredible player. But never gave it. It's funny, it's all about him training with Shaolin monks.

And it's like, what did you learn there? What is it? Kill Bill? Yeah. It's like... Is there even a hoop? But isn't there, like, humility as part of this training? Oh, I see what you're saying.

Like, I know you do kung fu, but yeah, I guess that's what he learned. He didn't pick up new moves on the court. He learned how to, like, kick someone on the fucking leg or throw it. head down. I know. It was crazy. He was attacking all these guys. It was crazy.

He jumped, kicked a guy at one point. He threw Brunson down. The guy's dirty. He is dirty. Fuck me. Great player, though. He is a great player. Hell of a player.

Very tall. It was good for the NBA. I heard a lot of people say this might have saved the NBA. Like, not that it was like failing, but this is the highest rated finals in forever. Whoa. Because it's rare that we're all watching the same thing. Yes. Especially for a series.

Like the Super Bowl, you're like, all right, that's a given. We're all going to watch this Super Bowl, no matter what. That's an American tradition. But this is a seven-game series, and we're watching all of them. Yeah. And it took years off my fucking life, dude. Oh, but it is. Once you believe, that's when you're just, like, scared.

You're like, fuck, to come this close and lose it after all this and how much you love the guys. After all that. But when they get it, when they win it, you get the years back. The years come right back when they win. Yeah, I feel alive. Yeah. And you feel the joy in the streets. And Brunson is such a great leader.

Like, did you see when OG got caught being high on Good Morning America? He takes it off. He's like, oh, ask me a question now. He's such a good friend. Oh, this is hilarious. You all together. He goes, I guess I'll answer. He's been great.

He's been great. He's been awesome. Clearly an edible just hit. Oh, yeah. He's on the moon. You see Godfrey with cat? Yeah, that's an old one. That's when he was in the cellar.

Oh, okay. That was great, too. I didn't know he was Dominican. Yes, and that I gave Cat a bottle of bodega Cat. What? Got to do a collab. That's right.

We need to get this to Alvarado because he's a New York kid. He'll appreciate the bodega cat. And he drinks. My God, does he drink? I mean, this is like, yeah, that 29 point comeback. You know what the hard part about these games were is like you kind of knew they'd come back? Like, I did bet on the game when they were down 29. Yeah.

Because I was like, I got a feeling. All right. Like the odds are, it's dumb to bet with your heart, but you're like, I got a feeling. Because every game just felt like a midnight express. or Shawshank, like a prison movie where you just get the shit kicked out of you for like two hours. And then somehow you escape at the end. Right. So it's not enjoyable, but you're like, they find a way to get out.

They got out. And it makes it more dramatic when they get out, you know? Yeah. You got to come out of that hole. I saw a statistic that said the Spurs had the lead for 75% on the finals. That's insane. That's what they kept saying. That's what the Cav said to us.

They were like, the big joke that went around was a coach was like, analytically we're playing better. And it's like, you got swept, dude. Yeah. So the joke was like, analytic. It's like, who gives a fuck? It's about winning. So, you know, yeah, you outplayed us a lot of the game, but then the Knicks won in the fourth quarter. Exactly.

Yeah, you might have fucked your wife a lot, but I went home with her. Exactly. You know, so it's the results. We apologize to the guy whose wife, Mark Fucked. It was Wembe's. Yeah, very cool, very exciting. Cool to be a part of it. Incredible.

And I'm glad you got me on board years ago or whatever, because look what it led to. Yeah, man. No, it's exhausting. Because, like, you just, you see all the teams that came close. Like, I love Ewing so much, Spree, Houston, LJ, all those guys, Starks. They all came close and they didn't get it. And it looks like something was healed in them. Like, Ewing, when he hugged, when he hugged, when he hugged, I got emotional.

Amazing. There was a thing of them hugging, and it's like, oh, man. That's, sure, a few people got beat the shit out of, and a guy had five guys got a waffle fryer thrown at him. But come on. Gotta break a few eggs to make an omics. Exactly. Yeah, look at this. Oh, that's beautiful.

Wow. Yeah, man. Come on. I mean, they just became legends forever. Yeah, completely. So cool, man. And, you know, he took the pay cut, Brunson, and now he's going to make, what, $450 mil on the next round?

I don't know. I mean, who knows? Maybe he does it again to keep winning, you know? Who knows? And he'll make it in endorsements or something. Yeah. I was thinking, like, why is he not the first? face of the NBA. Everyone's like, well, Wemby's the face. And they're like, all right, but why just give it to him?

Like, maybe he should have to take it to be the face. Brunson, he's the underdog story. He's the little guy. Yes. He's everybody. Yes, exactly. He's a guy who wasn't handed. I love it. What do they say? No height, just heart. Yeah. Or something like that. Man, so many cool things coming out of this. I'm like, yeah, it's, I've never been on my phone so much in my life. Yeah. Because I'm just like, things, it hooks you in. Oh, completely. You want to hook me in. Hope me in with Nick's shit. And it's just, you're like, oh, this is ruining. And it's, it's kill my stand-up for a good 10 months.

Ten months. 10 weeks. Okay. All right, I'm bad anyway. What are you going to do? No, it killed me for 10 weeks. It's hard to write jokes when you just are filled with joy. Yeah, good point.

It really is. Like, jokes really come from being, you know, irritated or, you know, I think I write best when I'm irritable. And I'm like, ah, this happened. I, you know. But when you're just like, every day, you're like, that was amazing. I know. It's hard to write. Of course, of course.

There's a lot going on, a lot to focus on. So, yeah, I'm just glad we were a part of it. Very cool. Pretty cool, man. Yeah, I'm glad I went to Game 1 in San Antonio. That was a fucking truth, dude. Glad I did it totally cool. I've got a video here, for instance, two biggest detractors.

What's up with his dad, like, not giving him a moment? Like, this is right after the victory. This is why he's so good, because his dad's constantly humbling him. This is how you, this is how you rate. You want to raise a fucking killer. Yeah. Tell him that he sucks, even after he won a championship. Exactly.

He was the number one picking the draft. And you expected to be. He still, I mean, he left. He was a good. And I'm going to stop the argument, too. Yeah. I love my son. Patrick Gunger,

best Nick that I've ever. Meanwhile, have you heard about how Lavaar Ball talks about his kids? No. Before they come into the league, he's like, my kid's the best kid of all time. Oh, well, he won a champion. Yeah, he's injured. Well, he has just an injury, so it's not his fault. All right, all right.

But it's also like, he could use a. hint of that maybe. Yeah, yeah. But also, like, I guess this is how you raise a killer. Also, I'm sorry. No, I mean, you're on the NBA, you won the finals MVP. You're on the grand stage and he's like, he's better. Yeah. It's kind of crazy to say. And put Levar Ball in the list of guys who are named after the thing they did. Oh. Anthony Weiner, already made off. Lovar Ball. There's other ones, too, I'm forgetting. But LeVar didn't really ball. He did? He played like college. That's ball. That's ball. No, he balled.

But he didn't like, his kids are in the pros, though. Oh, okay, okay, I see. Yeah, like lamello and... What are they called ball? Lanzo, yeah, ball. All right, they're all balls. Did you say Ann Frank? Anfreni.

Oh, I was like Anne Frank. She was Frank. She was Frank. Oh, she was Frank. Rodman's at Flander. Flander. Yeah. Put him in there.

I think it was Flander. Yeah, you're close enough. Yeah. But we also got a, the best Spurs fan of all time was the guy who beat the shit out of everybody. That guy was like a juggernaut. I got a juggernaut. find it. Unbelievable. Apparently, he went there just to start shit.

He's not even a Spurs fan. He's from Philly. This guy's going to be in a Marvel movie. I think he was supposed to go to the UFC fight. They took a wrong turn. Ended up with the game. The coolest part about this is the way that people walk out of his way.

It's like a Moses splitting the sea. Well, you know he's either a hardcore Spurs fan or doesn't care at all if you were in a Spurs Rodman jersey. Because Rodman was barely a spur. Right. Look at that. Wow.

Every once in a while you get a brave guy who takes this guy. Brae, him behind. And then he's going to get him now. Look at this guy. Oh, shit. Cam Patterson hit him with the right. Oh, see, the one guy tried to trip him. I mean, you got a hand of this guy.

I don't think of me have to hand him. He's a psycho, Mark. He's a psycho. What are he handed him? The skills, the fearlessness. Hand him a fucking Xanax or something. That guy's out of his mind. Put this guy in Iran.

Just throw him in there. Drop him in. He'll just wipe everybody out. They're like, Mr. Trump, there's a guy in a Rodman jersey. Can you please take him back? I'm done. Malcolm X-Man. This guy's unbelievable.

Dude, he's, yeah, it's a lot. Yeah. This is a nice video I saw. Let me see if I can refresh it. Oh, wow. Is that legal? I don't think so. Oh, look at this.

I mean, it's borderline scary. Backflip off the van. Damn, this Jay-Z song is so fucking good, too. What a night. Look at this. Wow. I had to watch this in a green room like a fucking queef. I know.

Oh, man. Beautifully shot, too. White, black, everybody's coming together. Puerto Rican. We needed this. The city needed this. It really did. Wow.

Amazing. And where were you? I had the most New York. night of all time. In the afternoon, I photographed Nome, the owner of the company sellers. Then you jacked off on the subway. And then I jacked off the subway.

And I went home and watched the last two quarters with my son at our local deli. Oh, the deli. Love that. Great. Yeah, you have some video of it, don't you? Oh, my God. Wow. The deli put up a screen. Yeah, two of them. One on each side.

I love that I just Byron Allen that in. And I think you have some video. Man, yeah. I live in Fort Green, and they ushered Spike Lee around, like, the Pope in a car. He came out of the sunroof, and the place went nuts. Here's my son. I'm not going to point out which one, but this is the exact moment they won, right?

He's counting down. Three, two, one. Oh, wow. I got chills. Oh, man. Chills, Jerry. I love it. Aw.

It's going to be a fan for life. Wow. I was told my wife I was like I'm a little worried Like out there in the crowd It's like three hours past his bedtime And she was like This is

Once in a life Once in a lifetime She was like this is like She had to explain sports to you Yeah What kind of not a man are you You're a fucking Mets guy Yeah

You're in 86 Mets too I know what she said She was like This is 86 Mets to him And you can't stop talking about that shit And that's been 40 years Good point I mean he'll get some sleep

I'll be talking to this for 40 years unreal i know people taking their kids out for the parade tomorrow or thursday it's you know what it's just you got to experience it you got to see it and it's like yeah what a fucking run i mean i started collecting those once we were like kind of cruising so i was like i kind of got a feeling yeah once we made to the third round i was like i got to buy everyone and uh two bucks for the post not bad not bad that'd be more so they only lost one game in the playoffs and that was They lost three. Three.

They lost two to the Atlanta Hawks in round one. That was scary. I remember that. And then they lost one against the Spurs. They didn't lose to the Cavs or the Sixers. Crazy. Would they have a 12 win run? 13, I think.

13. Someone said if you bet $100 on that one game and let it roll over each time, it would have made over $10 million. Wow. You've got to know when to walk away. These are such fucking weird hypotheticals. Yeah. They're going to win 13.

Just knowing But I did I won a thousand bucks Just betting when they were down Because it was plus And then I won another 650 From Cousin Sal's podcast That's like a gambling podcast

So he's like make a bet And it was I think when we just beat the six I was like Knicks are going all the way Whoa So yeah I got some dough out of it Yeah you sure did Almost two grand

Yeah That's how you bought these hats Yeah dude I'm sure these weren't cheap So thank you Hey these gotta have this So we're New Yorkers Oh yeah

Got to remember these for Whatever, man. Unbelievable. What a time. What a time to be alive. People are going to move here from this. I think it's going to, you're right, it's going to, like, prop up the city. Yeah, we'll have a moment.

And shout out to Mom Don. Say what you will. He cleaned that shit up the next morning. I don't know how he did it. Yeah, that was pretty crazy. I went out there expecting to just be, like, chaos. Yeah. I felt bad for those people who just, like, took a wrong turn.

Oh. Like, they may be driving somewhere forgetting there's a big game tonight. Yeah. And they pull into the 7th Avenue. I'm like, you're not getting out of here for 10 hours. You're not getting home. And people are going to be on top of your car. Yep.

That car ain't coming out clean. No, no, no, no, yeah. Do you sue the city on that one or do you eat it? I think you got to eat it. That sucks. How about the World Cup people who showed up and they're like, hey, we are. What the fuck? I'm getting hit with a fireball.

And then Puerto Rican Day Parade was the next day. No way. Yeah, Sunday. Wow. Who had that great tweet? If you're a Knicks fan, gay, and Puerto Rican, this is your, and a soccer fan. This is the best of all your life. Damn.

That's fucking crazy. Crazy. You used to have a joke. I had a old joke about the gay pride parade. My friend's gay in Puerto Rican. And he's like, you know how hard my life is? And I was like, you have the most parades. That's an old joke.

Didn't really work outside of New York. That's pretty good. Thanks, thanks. I like it. I was happy with it. Damn, dude. Yeah, what a fucking time. I got a few wrecks for you because we're doing, you know, it's a sports time.

It's a not just for Nick's fans. I think, you know, I got text from a lot of non-Nix fans who were like, I'm so happy just because this team is likable. Yeah. And, you know, Mikhail Bridges had made it and lost. And OG made it with the Raptors and they won, but he was injured for the whole series. Right. You know, and other than that, I don't think any of these guys had won it. So, and Mike Brown, the coach has been so close before.

How great was he on Fallon? Oh, my God. That was adorable. Like a corny day. Yes, yes. I stayed up to watch Fallon. I've never been like, I guess I'm watching Fallon's. What is it, 1998?

I know. I was like, yeah, I got home and I was like, I'm going to watch Fallon. I don't know if I ever watched Fallon live. Yeah, I don't know if I have either. That's amazing. But I was like, I got to see this. Yeah, and good for these guys. They are doing a crazy run, press.

Yeah, well, hopefully they have time when this is all over to stop by. But now we've got to get McHale Bridges on just to get him hammered. Dude, that footage? Do you have any of that? No. I think I sent you some. I tell you pull it up. Yeah.

Which one was it? Just McCale Bridges shit-faced. He's doing an IG live. And people were asking him questions. Well, he was... Shout out to McHale Bridges, because he was under so much pressure. Because for one thing, we traded five first-round picks. He was like Leon Rose, the architect of this whole team's final piece.

And we traded five first for him, which is an absurd amount. It's a crazy haul. But he just was like, that's the last piece. We could win with this guy. Because we were kind of built to beat the Celtics. OG and McHale are versatile defenders that you kind of can put on Tatum and Brown. That was, I think, the idea behind it. And they can both score.

Right. You know, so he got a lot of shit, like feeling like we overpaid for him. Yeah. Because we got him from the Brooklyn Nets, their arrival. Not really, but they're in New York. So they gave us a hefty price tag for him. But he's also a Villanova boy with Brunson and Josh Hart. So we got him on the team.

And he was just getting crushed. And he also made the finals with the Phoenix Suns, the team that went up 2O versus the Janus Bucks, who then won 4 straight. So when the Knicks are up 2O, you know, he's like, I'm not fucking, I have shell shale. shock from this shit. Yeah. I gotta close this out. He's constantly under criticism, the most under a microscope of many any player. So you saw him just like break when they wanted to start crying. Wow. Beautiful moment

for him. And then he went on IG Live and was just fucking lit up. So, he had a cup of whiskey in his hand too. Because you know these guys must not drink a lot. No, of course. They gotta be prepared. Yeah, do you have the, the McHale Bridges IG Live? This isn't it? No, he's like face the camera on this. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

It's wild. Yeah, it's not going to be in this shit. No, no, it's not on the Sports Center for sure. Yeah, just Google McHale Bridges IG Live. Oh, yeah. I definitely text you. I text you one of them, I think. You did?

I saw it in there. Yeah, Peter, it's that like you scroll up. For the sphere thing? Yeah, it's in one of them. Scroll up. There it is. There it is. Look at that face.

Glazed over. Oh, yeah. It's like me facetimming one of my exes back in the day. He was his hat's crooked. Hey, Elaine, what the buff. Nice apartment. man, lock in and no man, bro.

The fuck in my own. Can you put me up a shot, please? Go over another shot, please. F them picks, he nice, man. He said F them Picks. Oh. Can we talk about Wemby's villain arc real quick? Yeah.

Because he was, you said, the face of the league. They wanted him to be for sure. And look, he still will be. But, yeah, it's good for sports to have villains, dude. Of course. course. And the refs of the villains, too, by the way. Fuck them. Right in the ass. Yeah, they were rough, dude. They were rough. But, uh, yeah, Wemby, villain of the league. But, you know, I, the no shaking hands after the game.

Oh. Yeah. What do you think? Real bad. And then he goes, uh, what do you say? Like, hey, good game. Never see y'all again. Or something like that. See you never. Yeah, that was the lameest shit ever. That's like a fucking 11 year old. Yeah. Taking your ball. Yeah. Or not. Right. Sike. Sorry. Somebody had that great side-by-side of him walking out, and it says, what he thinks he looks like, and then what we think he looks like,

and it's the scene in Friday where the guy gets his bike stolen and he runs with the car, pouting. Oh, it was a great side-by-side. It's crazy. I mean, yeah, I guess that was the whole thing, is like the bad boy pistons were really trashed for not shaking Jordan's hand when he finally beat him. And, you know, I'll say this about it.

He's young as hell. Like he's got... Yes, 22. So he's under such a microscope since he was, you know, forever. But yeah, it's just like you're supposed to shake hands. Yeah. After a battle. But then there's a clip of Brunson ever went toasting going, fuck Wembe.

Yes, that was great. I wonder if Jalen's not happy that made it out. Well, he earned it. I mean, he got thrown around. He was so nice the whole time, so considerate, so professional. That's his one. He did it after he won. I thought that was the way to do it.

Well, one of the games I was at, I saw him. you could tell he really didn't like Wemby. And he hit a three, he got right in his face and gave him like one of these, like right at him. He usually does it to the crowd. He used it right at him. And I was like, oh, shit. Yeah. And that last play, the one that was like the iconic one where he kind of gives him like a little elbow to the liver.

He's just so crafty. He knows how to get away. He's just such a vet that he kind of takes him one-on-one and we're like, what the fuck? He's taking on a 7-5 guy. Hits him in the liver and then kind of throws him off balance and throws it up. And just out of his reach, that one, that one, that. that's when I was like, oh, they can't stop them. 45 in game 7?

Unbelievable. Only other guy to do that in a closeout game, or game 5, sorry. You only got to do that in a closeout game is fucking MJ. Exactly. He's got the MJ stats. And it's all just such poetry, the tall, the little, the dick, the professional, the asshole. It's so, the foreigner, the New York guy. It's great.

I love it. The international thing does add an element. Of course. The cocky Frenchman. There's a little rocky four shit in this. Oh, 100%. That's what I'm saying. The dickhead foreigner?

Yeah. USA? I tweeted. Wemby proves it's okay to be prejudiced towards the French. Nobody cares. We're like, yeah, bring it on. We've always hated these frogs. I'm half French.

But yeah. But yeah. Crazy. Crazy stuff. Oh, there was one thing I wanted to say that you just said, well, professionals. Fuck Wemby.

Ah, I can't remember. But what a great role model for the kids. Yeah. He really is. Switching it up a little bit. Yeah. I saw a couple of. clip of Marks from like 15

years ago. Oh, what are you doing to me? It was a set. Where was that set? Carolines. Oh, I think I know this set. I don't know why you're bringing this up. I'm just changing it. All right, all right. Why, you're pulling it up or something? Oh, I could, but I keep being embarrassed.

Anyway, I was impressed. I bet his jokes are still good. The jokes are still good. Yeah, no, I mean, like, I remember we were hanging out a lot then and bouncing jokes all the time. And I remember, like, you know, Mark, he had, like, an old comic set that was really tight. I think you weren't like a green polo or something.

Yeah, yeah, I remember the first Conan Mark did. Because, you know, you remember the little milestones you hit with your buddies. Right, right. Well, the jokes had to be good back then because we were nobodies and you had to prove yourself constantly. Yeah. And I noticed how clean the set was. There was not one cursework in the whole thing. And I was like, oh, I mean, that's not night and day, but like.

There were guys in the city back then who just were not like killer comics, but they were just working because they were clean. Yeah. If you're clean, you can get. at corporates you can work. Completely. So it was like that was a whole thing. There was like a whole crop of people were like, we don't curse. Yes. And I was just like, I'm never going to.

I never even try. It's not going to work. It's just not who I am. But yeah. I respect it like if you're able to, you're handicapping yourself. So what was your goal then? Because 2015, there was no real. Just not having a day job.

There was no, not have a day job. Not have a day job. Not have a day job. It's a goal. Just do comedy for a living. And go on the road and get good. Yeah. Go on the road, get good.

Be like a real. comic be like a yeah and just do hours again and again yeah have specials yeah but it was funny because i think comedy's changed so much like we were talking about mark and i i feel like all of our heroes were kind of broke yeah like not broke but not like well we were like oh that we comedy wasn't you couldn't really make a good living back then i think like a lot of agents figured out how to get guys on the road and get better deals for everybody yeah but like yeah this was going to be it regardless of what it was. I think we were just like, this is our, this is going to be our life.

This is it. We loved it. We really loved it. We really loved it. I mean, we still do, but back then you had to love it because there was no internet, really. There was internet, but you know what I mean? It wasn't, internet has changed comedy. It opened it up so much to arenas and podcasts and clips.

We didn't have to do podcasts. That was the big of a thing. You were just kind of a hermit during the day, and you just could really work on your comedy. Totally, totally. But, uh, that was 20. So I'm 42 now, so you do the math. That's Ben Roy, Denver guy, really funny.

Yeah, he's a murderer. I don't even know what show this is. Oh, God, this is embarrassing. I remember I hooked up with a girl after this. That was a good set. I'm kind of a smaller version of Alaska. All right, all right, what do we do it? Come on, I can't handle it.

This is excruciating. But at one point you say, I still have a day job of my janitor. Yes, that was a big bit of mine. That was a great bit. Thank you. Thank you. here. Yeah.

I'm the sign. Put a sign down when you're mopping. True story. The guy's slipped. That's like a version. It's a different joke, but it's a good version of Chris Rock's. I worked at McDonald's joke. What's that one?

Where he goes, they go, uh, he goes, uh, how you doing? He goes, you know how the fuck I'm doing? I'm working at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what it means when you make minimum wage? It means if I could pay you less, I would. But it's against the law. Yeah. Got a throw the Chris Rock delivery in there.

But yeah, no, it was a great. That was like, I was on his Chris Rock's first album, Born Suspect. I remember hearing that bit like, oh shit, that's a great bit. A lot of great jokes on that. A lot of like, he has, he's like this ghetto kind of, not ghetto, but he's like this street black guy from Brooklyn, but he has this wisdom in all the jokes. Yeah, no, he was, he always had, he always had it, you know. But I remember those years, man.

I mean, I was, because, you know, I was doing my recs and I was like, the wrecks I had because of this week were all sports related. They're all like fan books. So a fan's notes by Frederick X-Lexley. which is about it's one of the best books you'll ever read he's a complete alcoholic He's a diehard Giants fan It's what it's you're gonna have to look up a lot of words if you read this

He's a brilliant writer Big vocab insane But Frederick actually a fan's notes High High Reck Same goes for our buddy Scott Robb who wrote The Whore of Akron About LeBron And same goes to my buddy Joel Wolkowski

Who just wrote Honolulu Blues About being a diehard Lions fans But these are obviously about more than just being a fan They're about like you know they're about these people's struggles, whatever their struggles might be. Yes. In all case, I think, all three cases, addiction of different kinds. Oh, nice.

Alcoholism in Scots, I think eating, you know, eating too much. Right. And then in this one, and Joel's is, you know, he's had a lot of problems, you know? Oh, yeah. But he's been very open about it, and all three should check out all three. And we're throwing books out. I think Sam Talent wrote a new book. Whoa, it's out.

I believe it's out. I think it's called Brute. B-U. Br-U-T. His first one was great. Yeah. There it is. Whoa.

Okay. So there you go. Get Sam Tal's book. Damn. I don't know anything about it. Love the cover. Look at that. Great cover.

Very Russian communism. Yeah. So you read a lot, Sam. Where are you reading? Yeah, where are you reading? In bed or like on a on a. Flight, toilet? Yeah, it's some toilet reading.

I like, oh, and I want to throw in. Fuck, there was something that's going to say about. Oh. in Joel's book he's talking about like it just made me think what Mark was saying that's what maybe in Joel's book he talks about like how the goal was like to get on cabin which was an old bar show yes yes gold used to set like little goals for yourself when you're a young comic like you know maybe get like I remember Mark that like John Oliver's showing oh huge or you know you do like uh I didn't hug me you what I remember my dad hugged me when I got it really big deal he's on a hugger and then uh you know

cabin was a big bar show run by our friend Sean Patton huge and you You ever wanted to get on cabin? Yes. But then, like, it's one of those weird things where you get on, then you're like, well, now what? I know. You set these goals, and you're like, well, now what do I do? So, you know, late night sets were a goal back then.

I know not what they used to be. Totally, totally. I remember one time, this is how cheesy and romantic this all was. My buddy, Zach Sims. We moved up from New Orleans together. I knew Zach from Open Mic's in New Orleans. Yeah, super young guy, funny guy, like funny out of the gate. One of these guys just had it.

And he went up before. four, a cabin, they threw him on as a goof because he knew Sean Patton. Not a goof, but they're like, here you go, buddy. And he went up and he had a great set. And then Jim Gaffigan went on after him. And we were like, oh my God, you went on before Jim Gaffigan. We're going nuts. And Sam goes, I mean, sorry, Sean goes, tell me dreams don't come true. And we're all high-fiving, doing shots, all because he went on before Gaffigan. That was it. Now I see Gavon, hey, what's up, Jim? But back then, the fact that he did that was like, it was like the Knicks winning. It was insane. You were adjacent to someone

super talented. It's like having a small role in a movie. Yes, yes. And you're like, holy shit, Downey Jr. Right, right. But it's that's that thing where you're like, oh my God. Yeah, I felt the same way. Especially when I was like open for someone and it didn't mean anything a lot of the time. It just meant you work with them for a weekend, but you're like

okay, let me see what I could pick up. Now remember you text me, I'm opening for Burke Chrysher. And then like six hours later you sent me a photo of you both shirtless like you know, that was a big deal. That was because Nikki Glazer couldn't do it. She was opening for Bird a lot and she had to drop out and she goes, would you want to open for my friend Burke Kreisher? And I was like, sure.

Hell yeah. I was like, it's work. Is that Sacramento? Hartford, Funny, Boe? Wow. I know. Damn. I mean, think about how much our lives have changed. I'm going to Hartford. I can't believe it. Yeah. You know what we did? We fucking watched a Knicks game at Hooters. And we got four seats. Look at that. We watched a Nix game. I was like, I was

telling Bert how big a Knicks fan I am. And during the- find that photo during the day it was we watched it was when they just got jr smith and i remember i was so i was like this guy's really good and bert was like oh sweet oh wow so i remember watching that with him but uh i mean carolines too open the door we got to open for crazy people at caroline's that was a big deal too that carolines rip carolines because that was uh that club was so good to us you know yeah uh i mean it's funny to say club was good to us it good every club was good and bad sure you know i mean all the great stuff they do then you'd also do like a prom show at 3 a m

and they'd kill you off at 20 and you're like that's it yeah i'm not sleeping tonight the hell's going on but uh you know they give you a free meal which was huge back then that chicken barn that chicken parm with a block of cheese oh i loved every minute of the in the in the free booze which we thought was great probably set us back a little bit probably we were like we're like we got we got to take advantage of this margaret just pounding old fashions all right oh yeah i have a photo me and Che at the Christmas party like Oh dude We both look like cavemen

It's great We're so smushed I remember yeah Chee uh Che went to a couple of road games He texted me after I went to game one He goes You go into game two

I said I can He goes he goes Well I'm going He goes You inspired me to go Oh yeah That's a nice texting And he

He wrote an emotional text Just like we did it Like after it's like It's like every New Yorker felt like It's like a one moment To be vulnerable Yes Yeah

One moment you're like I saw a lot of grown men crying. I was like, yeah, you're laughing. You earned it. Oh, yeah. It's like to see someone crying in New York for a good reason. Good point. Good point. How often do you see someone on the street just crying? You're like, oh, of course. Yeah, Che had a really emotional Instagram slide, you know, where he's like, I love seeing this and I love seeing that. And it was all these New York kind of cliches. Really great, great Instagram posts. So many great moments. But yeah, I remember doing a weekend with Chee, he and I opened for Jim Jeffries. Yes, I was there.

Oh, man, that was one of the most fun weekends ever, just getting lit up with those guys. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was crazy. I went to hang. Imagine doing that now. Like, oh, you're opening for somebody, I'll go hang with you. That's how it was. I remember Mark was, like, more in the alt scene. So I was like, dude, I'm like, come to the comic show. We can drink for free here. Yeah. That's where it was. You found out where to drink for free. Exactly. And we thought we were, like, beating the system, not realizing like, no, you shouldn't be drinking this much. Yeah. But we were young enough we could bounce back. True, but we thought of it as stocking up. I don't know when I'll get a free drive. drink again, so I got to drink 800 cocktails. True, and yeah, free cocktail, like free beers, one thing, free cocktails.

Forget about it. That was like fucking epic. But that was the thing about drinking back then. If somebody had you a beer, you drag it. If somebody hand you a wine, you drag it. Somebody hand you a old-fashioned, you drank it. You just drank anything. And those nights were important because, you know, you kind of had to hang out.

Yes, true. That's how you kind of got to know everybody. Those days are over. I don't know what it's like for young people or young Congress coming up now. Yeah, but I felt like we really. like I have bonds with people that, you know, I would think of that show justified, you know, where he says we dug coal together. Oh.

That was like the early days of, uh, the trenches. It was with the early days of comedy where you were just like, oh, man, I remember getting fucked up with that guy and like, well, always, I feel like a lot of people just go at each other's throats now on social media. I'm like, oh, maybe they didn't have those times. They never did. That I don't know. That face to face you just would never.

Exactly. Exactly. It really, it really helped. And also as a young guy from the. South going in New York. It was such a community you could slip into. Now it's all how many followers, how many retweets, how many shares, how many posts

some of that. This wind brought back some of that like communal joy, everyone in the streets party. Maybe that's why it was so special because I feel like you don't see that as much. Definitely. You don't see the people, especially, I mean, I can't remember. I don't think I've ever seen the city like that. No. When was the last time you experienced joy with a... That's what I'm saying.

About something that's so kind of like wholesome. Like, it's basketball. It's just a game. It's just a nice thing. It's a nice thing and nobody ruined it. The Giants parade was pretty special. When they beat the Patriots, that was pretty cool. But this was like basketball is, it's different.

It's just different in New York. Yeah. And I know I've repeated myself a hundred fucking times, so I apologize. I'm a little brain dead from this. No, no. Every race, every man. This will help. Yeah.

There was just no, it was all unity. There was no dividing for once in 10 seconds. At that point, when the Yankees win, Mets fans are mad. Exactly. The Yankees fans and Giants fans. and giants and jets, but like... And there are no Nets fans, so everyone's happy. That's true.

There's no one, even in all of Brooklyn, they're happy for the Nix. Yes. They're not like, oh, you know, the Nets were my team and I have to stand by. It's like, no, no, no, no, it's for New York. Well, the funny thing is like, you know, when the Nets made... Sorry to go back to basketball game, but when the Nets made the move to, like, there were all these memes, the Nix should get Zion, Kyrie, and KD. That's what we're going to get.

And it's like, you know, that was the quick fix. That's how we compete. And that was kind of like the Knicks way for a while. It was getting, not that those guys are washed up. Like KD and Kyrie were still great at that time. They're still good players. But at that time, it was like, that's what we do. We get the name.

We get the shiny thing. We lost out on them. They went to Brooklyn. And that was almost to be like, yeah, KD said like the Knicks aren't cool. And that was like that thing. And then guess what? We get the consolation prize of Julius Randall.

But getting him built something. So shout out Randall for taking a chance in the Knicks. He wasn't a part of this run. But he took it. He saw something in New York. And then Brunched. came and that's when it was like, oh shit. Like we had missed the playoffs.

I don't know how many years. We made one run with Randall before Brunson got there, but it was just first round exit. Then Brunson comes, we're in the hunt every year. We're in the second round every year. Crazy to say Knicks aren't cool. So we'd have a New York team not be cool. That's what he said. And, you know, maybe that was the perception at the time.

I always thought they were, I always believed. That's the thing is I believed in Brunson, but I also believed in like fucking Andrea Barneyney. who was like who was garbage i mean like you i believe i was like i can see it because you just become an optimist that's how you kind of survive as a fan totally this would be the guy that's how you don't break yes yes fandom is that's why i have no respect for these people who like leave games early or like what was that i i don't get it it's like you that's part of the experience even when it sucks you're like well this is just how it is just how it is you're just how it is you're stade of the buzzer that's how it goes right for better or worse but you just feel the pain

sometimes and that makes that I mean the the wins better makes it that much better now I don't want to call out Jerry did you notice because I watched a lot of the game this did you notice that he was sitting with his wife and in the second half she was not there oh really so I almost texted him like did your fucking wife leave you psycho but I didn't want to piss him off but I'm telling you you look there one day I would have popped him for the second half I know right you could have slid in the front row by the way Sidney Sweeney got push to the back. And I don't know where the hell Gillis was sitting because he went to every game. Yeah. But yeah, Sidney Sweet didn't look like a Hoosers waitress out there. She had the fluffed up hair and

everything. But she's dating a Knicks fan. Oh, okay. There you go. That's what the girls do. And I, and I'm fine with it. What's his name? Snoopy? Scooter. Scooter. Yeah, he's cute. Look at that. She's all teased up. Looking good. Yeah. That's not her? That's her. Never seen a Brunson shirt looks so good. I know, right? Jesus Christ. jinks uh it's got a couple of basketballs in there but that's crazy yeah

but yeah good for her sitting at the back I love the audio this podcast just two guys looking at tits people were like oh damn look at those honkers right there the next episode

nix and tits uh remember hooters of course I mean that was a fucking insane idea I used to go there in like seventh grade there was one in the 50s we were just pop in

that was like our after. I didn't like Hooters because it's like, am I allowed to gawk or not allowed to gok? Of course. It's Hooters. I know, but I feel weird doing this like a kid over there and a mom here. Give me a strip club. It's two in the middle. It is in the middle.

That's what it made me on the car. The strip club, we all know. Your tongue's on the floor. You're putting a fucking dollar bill in a G string. Hooters, I'm like, is this sexual? Obviously it is, but then it's like a family restaurant. I remember my parents were worried that I kept going there. You know, with a child?

So my parents went there to scope it out. I feel so guilty that my mom had to sit through a fucking Hooters meal. Oh, your artist mom. Yeah. She went undercover for some chicken strips and hooters. I was just in it with the unlimited soda. Chicken strips club. What is it that pulls you out of it for me is that the leggings?

I hate the fucking leggings there. I didn't notice the leggings. Yeah, I was looking up. Who's looking at the leggings? Each one of them have leggings. It's a hilarious straight guy's objection to Hooters. Yeah. The wardrobe was a real problem for me.

The leggings. I don't even remember the leggings. Yeah. What was this? The tonies? Skin-tone leggings. Let me see. That's it.

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Specialty LLC. HIMS is not affiliated with or endorsed by Viatriot. Yeah, who cares. What's the problem? They're too shiny for you? No, it was just I wanted to see actual legs. I think it's kind of see-through, right? Yes.

I think they weren't short shorts, too. Yeah. These are all leggings. Yeah. That's not the natural tone. This is such a photographer. Yeah, right. He's like, it's not authentic.

Now, is this invented in Florida? Oh, it's got to be. It's got to be. That's a, I'm taking a shot in dark. It does. That's like the demo for sure. 100%. Where did it start?

Give it to me straight. Florida. Oh, Clearwater, baby. It opened it as a joke intending to create a casual neighborhood spot serving wings in cold beer, and they couldn't get kicked out. Were they couldn't get kicked out? By the way, who opens a, is that how easy it was to open a business in the 80s? You can open them as a joke? Yeah.

I got a funny idea. Let's put all our money into a restaurant. Good point. How is that a joke? I know. You've got to get a point. permit and building codes. The original founders' vibes.

They wanted a laid-back beach-themed oasis with Wal-Wall to All-Wsports. I mean, look, it is a fun idea. I mean, it's kind of a Buffalo Wild Wing that is just minus the sex. Well, Twin Peaks is smart because they're quietly existing and they have a better name, a more subtle name. You think any David Lynch fans go there and are really disappointed? By the way, who said Hulk Hogan? This is from Clearwater, Florida, where Hulk Hogan is from. Boom.

It just felt very Hulk Hogan. Yeah. Totally. Yeah, Twin Peaks still kicking. I see them all over the country. Yeah, I've been to a few of those. Fun spot. Yeah, a lot of beer choices.

I like a Buffalo Owings, too. Sure. Also, the food at Hooters is so bad that if they kick the food up a notch, I feel like they might be around still. Yeah, they're done. I remember they had an airline for a minute. Yeah, that's right. Hooters Airline?

Yeah, pulling up. And they also had, I think, a place in Vegas, like a hotel or something. Whoa. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. They were killing it for a while. Can you imagine being a pilot and you're like, I couldn't get a United or Delta? I'm a Hooters pilot.

Whoa, Mama. That's exciting. Those do not look like, those look like small even for coach. Yeah. Tits? No. Man, that's excited. Hooters air.

What a fucking idea. Yeah. That's not. If that plane crashes, you're like, yeah. What did you think? You think the A team was flying fucking... Right. Well, we love wings. Got your quotation device.

It's, uh, yeah, God. It's amazing what can have a minute. Like, can you imagine investing in that? You're like, this is gonna fucking... I know. This can be a thing. On paper, it's not bad. Tits in the air. Yeah, but you got to think about children fly a lot.

Oh, yeah. It's not appealing when you're like, yeah. The kids are like, why do they all have huge tits? And you're like, eh. How funny would that be if you're like talking to your agent, like, You got to get me out of Buffalo tonight. He's like, we found you on hooters there. You're like, all right, fuck it, I'll take it.

It's only an hour. I remember the shit I used to, I remember booking like Cheap-O-Air. That was a website. Cheap-O-Air! Dude, they would do shit where your connection would be on a different flight. Here's how stupid I was. I remember doing that to save money and being like, oh, cool, I missed the flight. Neither airline's accountable.

They're both like, yeah, fuck you. You're not supposed to connect on different flights. Yeah. It's called Cheapo. I know. It's like a Jewish clown. It's an insult. I'm flying putts air.

What the hell? Frugal air. Yeah. Shmuck.com. Cheapo is an insult. Yeah, I mean, I was fucking, I melted down on some guy. Yeah, it just sucks when you miss those gigs back in the day. You know, it's a crazy one? I miss the flight because if you buy a round trip on some flights and you don't take the first one, they kill the second one.

And I was like, you're like, this guy's dead. And you're like, no, I found my way there. Yeah, I found my way there. And I was in the airport at Seattle, like six of the morning and hung over on no sleep. And I was like, I can't find me. It's a C agent. I kept saying C agent. I went up to the lady.

She's like, it's like, it's gone. They just get rid of it. I'm like, but I paid for it. She's like, that's procedure. So I had to buy a new flight. Damn. Yeah, no, that's happened to me too. They just, you got to go there the first way.

I got some peeves, too. I don't know. Hit me with some peeves. All right, all right. There we go. I got some, too. We haven't done peaves in a minute. I love a good peeve.

Oh, yeah. I need a good peeve for when the audience will be like, peaves, and I never have one locked and load. I need a funny one. You brought it up. I'm just saying on stage I need one. That'll kill. All right.

How about this guy? The guy who ruins the story by undercutting you? And I go, hey, great news, big news. And everybody's like, what's going on? I'm like, I found money on the ground. Isn't that a great feeling? And the guy's like, what? How much?

I found a 20. And they go, that's it. And I'm like, wow, it's three. It's free 20. But you really had to ruin it? That's it. That's it. That's it happened to me.

Just a 20. I'm like, it's a 20. It's a free 20. Get me a 20 if it means. I'm going to stop hanging out with Jerry. No, that's, I hate that. I hate the downer. Yeah.

I like the yes and friend. Yes. I got a pee. two words that just, ugh, they make me like, ooh, one is giggles. You don't like the word giggles? I just remember, like, we'll hang out, we'll have some giggles. And I go, ugh.

That's no good. I was like, I feel icky all over. Giggles. I don't even enjoy icky. I don't even like that either. But giggles is worth. Giggles is like fucking. It's weird.

It's weird. Yeah. It feels like, like, like, Pito adjacent. Yes, it's something like a kid's show host would say. We're going to have giggles. Giggles today, guys. Yeah. Shits and giggles.

Shiggles? What is that? Shits and giggles combined. Oof. I had the shiggles at high school real bad. Real bad. That and yum. Yum.

Yum and yummy. I throw in as well. They're tough. There's just two words that make me like, ooh. I will say when you have a baby, though, you start to end up throwing a lot of these out. Like, isn't that yummy? With a baby, it's okay. Okay.

All right. You get a baby pass on some of these. these words. All right. Because then those parents that talk too much like an adult to their kids and you're like that's fucking weird too. That's weird too. Yeah.

Totally. But like yeah, you got to baby it up a little, I guess. Is it the Pepsi effervescent? Like, all right. He's two. Don't say effervescent. Also why you're giving them Pepsi's too. True.

Strange. How about this guy? I got heckled by a guy and I came up with some jujitsu and spun it around and got a big laugh. And then this guy goes, all right, all right. The joke's right themselves. I'm like, no, they don't. I came up with that. On the fly, and it killed.

Don't give me the right themselves. That's insulting. I had to think of that. Yeah. If it wrote themselves, everyone would be a comedian. And also, you lost. You heckled and lost. Yes.

I don't like that either, the guys, like, the person who disrupts the show and then goes, all right, all right. Like, this is happening because of you. Yes. I got to find a way out now. That's funny. Exactly. Exactly.

Or they go, I gave you that one. No, no, no, no. You made a challenge, and I overcame it. You didn't give you shit. It was actually quite harrowing. Yeah. Which is what I say to my kid. Heroing.

I want to do some harrowing. This one is annoying. This is my last one. The guy, when you go out drinking, you're out drinking with a buddy. I was in Tempe or something. Long flight the next day. 8 a.m. flight. We're drinking.

It's two in the morning. I'm half in the bag. And I go, ah, I should go. I got a flight. It's a long cross-country flight at 8 a.m. And he goes, you get a nap on the plane I hate that

You get a nap on you You don't know my fucking body Exactly Naping's hard Oh yeah I know that I've become a big fan of Irish goodbyes dude Oh me too I love them

You just have to do them at a certain point It's hard when you're hanging out With just one person though You're like where'd you go I didn't think you'd notice Yeah it's a really hard with the wife But yeah But I'm with you dude

The Irish Goodbye is underrated Because I hate the When they don't let you leave Yeah exactly Exactly, exactly. You Irish goodbye me and Ari, though, one time. That was fucking weird. You didn't like it.

You said, peeve. I texted peeve. The tables of turks. Ari gave you shit, too. He did, yeah. But we were like, what the fuck? We thought we were like, we were going to keep you. We were just going to walk out together.

But you were like, ah, you would have made me, you would have guilted me. The walk out together, it slows me down. No, I was okay with it. Just the moment you feel a little hurt for a moment. Because we were sober. We were? Now we weren't, I guess. We had Ari here, yeah.

But it's during the day. That's true. A day. Irish goodbye is a little weird. Yeah. A night when you got to do. Irish goodbye, your Nick's watch party. Did you?

Yeah. You hadn't even noticed. You guys were crying. You guys started crying. I didn't. My brother was crying. I wasn't crying. I grabbed a cookie night.

But I got emotional. Stole a cookie. I didn't cry. I thought I would cry. Yeah. I got emotional for sure, but I didn't. I almost teared up when the Ewing cat hug happened. Yeah, I'm doing you a favor by leaving early.

No, no. I mean, that's not true. Some people helped them cleaned up. Oh. But, but. But, no, I don't mind it. I don't even remember it because it's like, I'm usually a little, I've had a few drinks of those things.

And I like, I like when, I don't want people to feel, especially at a party. I don't think you should feel the need to say goodbye to everyone. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You maybe do a text the next day, so much fun or something, that's great. But I don't think we need these long goodbyes. Long goodbyes are brutal. That's why I do. I go by the door and I go, thanks guys.

Because there's no, there's no way to keep me in at that point. Now I've got the hand up, hiling, got to go, door open. Boom. I got the buy-in and I got to leave. There's a line in the book, the long goodbye. I'm paraphrasing, but something like the French, the French say to say goodbye is to die a little, you know? And he goes, those bastards have an expression for everything,

and they're always right. Oh, Gwimby. Yeah. Gondelman had that great joke. We all know the Irish goodbye where you leave without saying anything. This is the Jewish goodbye, where you have to say sorry to everybody and say goodbye. The Jewish goodbye is you say goodbye and never leave. No, that was it.

That was a great job. That's better. That Mel Brooks did that in the dock. He's at the Jerry in the dock, I think Oh, weird But yeah, man I'm with you on the Goodbyes are fucking

Yeah, but to get a nap in It's tantamount To the guy who goes When you're parking And I go, I don't know if I can park here It says towing and he goes I'll pay for the ticket Just park here

And you're like I know you won't You never do Wait, like to invoice you now Yeah You're giving me more chores It's my car You're not worried about it

You want to get to wherever we're going So you're like Yeah, park I'll figure it out. You're like, but you won't. Because if I text you in two days ago, hey, I got a ticket. It's 80 bucks. You're going to go blow me.

Peeps are just kind of like shitty friends. We just realizing our friends suck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I definitely have friends like that where you're just like, oh, come on. How about this one? This is the last beef. The guy who calls you, you miss it, and he goes, he texts you, hey, I just called. I know.

The phone has a device where it tells you a notification. I'm usually on Do Not Disturb, so I actually don't mind that one. Oh, okay. But because I feel like I never answer. Oh yeah, my phone says Miss call from whoever. I just called. Yeah, the text, I'm like, I know.

I know a lot of people who have Do Not Disturb on just so they check their phone less. So I'm okay with that one, but I can see how that could be a little invasive. Yeah, yeah. I feel easily smothered, too. Same. Like, if someone hits me with a FaceTime at a nowhere,

I'm like, whoa. I got to be ready for that. During the games, I was cool with it, because it was like a lot of celebratory moments. I'll wave a lot of these during a game. Sure, sure. Different time. No, yeah, but the unsolicited FaceTime.

That's heavy. It's a lot. Yeah. Especially when somebody don't know that well. Oh, yeah. That's up there with the pop-in. Ding dong. Who the fuck is this?

Who the fuck does that? And then you look at the people and you're like, Gary Veter. Do people actually pop it on you? I've had it. I've had it. But they haven't been bad. Like one guy knocked on my door and I was like, huh? And he goes, hey, your package is outside.

You know, it'll get stolen. So that's just a guy? But my neighbor. Oh. But my neighbor is a very friendly, so I could see him. Friendly neighbor can be a peeve, though. That's true. Because there's such a fine line between friendly and invasive.

That's true. Because then you have too many friendly neighbors. You get stopped too much. You can't go about your day. Yes. See, I'm in a pretty big building. It can get hard to get out sometime. Everyone's like, yeah.

And then they're like, all right, all right. And then they give you the look when you don't want to chat. You're like, I got a thing. Yeah. I'll do the fake phone call sometimes. Oh, I get that one. The headphones in is big. Love the headphones in.

Love the headphones. You got to do the fake phone call sometimes because you can't stop every step of the way. No, you'll never get out. I just want to go get the paper and the coffee. Right, right. How about this one? Last one. Come on.

The guy who goes, hey, you got time for a quick call? And I'm like, huh, quick call. See, the problem with the quick call. It feels like they're laying a trap. That's what it is every time. So I was actually literally on a flight. So I go, hey, I'm on a flight, can't talk. Just text me.

Were you on a flight? I was. Okay. And he goes, I was on the tarmac, but I was off a flight. Still on the plane. Yeah. And he goes, I wonder if you could do a pop in at this place and say hi. I was like, I knew you wanted something.

And you figured by calling, I'd have a harder chance saying no. Well, the real peeve is the friend who wants something. And I say friend loosely. It was very loose. The person you know who, it's the person you know. It's the acquaintance who needs something. Yes, yes. And it's also the acquaintance who always needs something.

Always. You look at your chain of text and it's always like, hey, can you do this? How about it's like the scene in Godfather You know you come to my daughter's wedding When are you going to do something for me And just say how are you? Yes I know And then how are you can be a thing

Right They tried to say how are you I had my fucking AirPods in so But on the flip side I have a lady I know She's a comic, she's cool But she'll text me and go Hey can I get this from you

Or can you do this And I'll go yeah hold on blah blah And then she goes How are you? And I'm like Don't do the how are you now Because now you're trying To make it seem like we're chatting

So you want them to loop you up first. Yeah, I guess so. Loop me up first. How are you? Hey, but you'd be annoyed if they did it the other way, too, I think. I'd like it the other way. Yeah, I don't think you'd like if you're like, how have you been?

Yes. Because I've had people like, I've hit them, can you talk? And you're like, oh. Can you talk? And it's also like, what are we dating? I know. Can you talk? Try in trouble?

Yeah, what I do? Yeah. And it's always like, can I call you? And then it's like the minute and a half of like, yeah, how's everything? The Nick, they know what it wrote me in. The Knicks is a good way to wrote me in. Yeah, yeah, on that one. How about fucking Brunson?

I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you need? What's going on here? Yeah. And then they go, hey, can you do this for me? And I'm like, you know, I don't want to do this. But it's like they always, they know what to lube you up? Yeah.

Good looping. Buttering up. The Knicks is smart. The Knicks. Oh, man, there was a guy who was always fucking me over in high school. Like, anytime there was a girl I liked, he'd fuck her. Damn. And he'd always, and I'd be like, you piece of shit.

You know, I like there. And then he'd be like, dude, fucking, what do you think about Marbury? And I'd be like, he does have promise. He does look good. And he's like Marbury. I mean, he could turn it around. And just like, and just like. I do that with my kid.

He'll be like reaching for something. I hit the bubble gun over here. I shoot a gun and makes bubbles. And he's like, whoa, bubbles. Yeah. I think the point of that story is I'm just stupid. I'm just a dumb guy. Well, you're passionate about something.

Well, they know how to reel me back. He knew how to reel me back in. He'd keep fucking me over it. And then you keep being like, dude, fucking Jamal Crawford. He's got the tools. We could turn it around. What's great? Have you seen, you know this kid, Liam Dalton?

He's a young comic. I know the name. He's got great Nick's videos, like comedy videos. They're really funny. He did one about the Fairweather fan. He's like, did you know they played for Villanova? He's like, yeah. Everybody knows that.

And he just goes through this. It's one with a blonde girl. There it is on the bottom left. Dude, this is just talking sports with women every time. Right. Did you know? Like, yes, I know. It's my life.

Exactly. But he nails it and then he starts going over, like, who he followed in the beginning years. You just watched your first basketball game last week. I decided I'm going to cancel all my plans just to watch the game. I'm so into it. This reminds me to you. So into it. They're watching Game 5 of the finals.

I called out sick to work for every playoff game. I don't have a job now. Wow, you're crazy. Do you know Jalen Brunson and Josh Hart both went to Villanova? And they're like best friends. Of course I knew that. But I don't have to turn this into a rom-com for me to care about the team. Yeah, they went to Villanova.

So did Mikhail Bridges and Dante DiVincenzo. Who? You don't know, Dante DiVinso. It keeps going like that for a while. It's really funny. That's great. Yeah, I mean, it's a lot of... But, you know, I also welcome the fans.

As long as, like, if it takes that for you to get into it, then whatever. Like, you're allowed to enjoy it, too. Like, everyone's allowed to enjoy this. It's a special thing. But, of course, yeah, I'm a psycho, so I relate to it. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's like J-Lo. She got a bunch of shit.

Do you see that where she was like, if you're not from New York, you're not a real, Yorker and everybody's like I saw that and I disagree with that I don't agree with it either and then are we going to do that with immigrants oh it's a slippery slope there JJ yeah I just think it's like I think once you've served your time here you kind of I think I think I don't think there's a time I think there's a time I think there's a moment you know you became a New Yorker right maybe you saw your first penis on the subway maybe you fucking you know got so much pizza

yeah mug but you're like you can't tell me you're not a New Yorker now right so I disagree I reject the I reject the I reject Also, my son is from here. He's an anchor baby. He's an anchor baby. He is. So I got in with the kid. But you're a New Yorker.

Yeah. I do comedy here. I live in Brooklyn and I own the place. Yeah. Man, how about this, though? Speaking of New York, found a cool vintage jacket on eBay. I love jackets.

Bought the jacket. What kind of jacket are we talking? A cool, just like a vintage old bomber. Kind of a shiny looking bomber. Really cool. It spent a couple shuckles on it. Yeah. And it said delivered.

And I go, oh, hey, deliver. So I run outside, it's gone. No, nothing's there. I'm like, ah, I probably got stolen. So I DM the guy or I mess with the guy. Same fucking neighbor who helped you out. He took it. I know.

He built up goodwill and now he's stealing from you. I know, maybe. So I email the guy and he goes, I don't know, man. I sent it to the address. And I go, what address do you have? And it's my old address. And I was like, oh, he sent it to the old address. So I go, that's not my address.

He goes, well, you better change it because that's what eBay has. I was like, all right, you're right. So I go to my old apartment And I got the It's one of these face screen things But they're looking at me So you're like trying to look nice

So I hit apartment for My old apartment on Open the door bitch And I was like Hey you don't know me I got a package delivered here I used to live here Here's my ID

You know and he's like All right Let's be in I swing the door open There's like 800 packages in the hallway I look through everyone Like a psycho Didn't find it

He comes out, this hot guy, and he comes out, and he's like, oh, yeah, you're that comedian. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you get a package? He's like, and that one got stolen. I was like, thanks. How do you know it got stolen? I think because he saw it. Well, maybe, but he saw it, and I think one day and then he was gone the next or something like that.

So I thought it got stolen, went to my old apartment, and it got stolen. Damn. Bummer. How cool jacket was it? Pretty fucking smooth jacket. Can you find it again or now? It's vintage. So it's going to be tough.

Is there a protection on eBay for that? I think you can ask them for it. Is that right? Is that right? And it doesn't hurt the guy. He did fuck up, though. Yes. It's a shitty fucker.

I mean, I actually have my old address on eBay too. Yeah, that's on me. That's on me. I got to update that. But damn. Stolen. How much money are we talking? A couple of no.

Damn. Yeah, nice jagged. Fit, too, is like my size. God. It's not like Amazon where you go, just resend me another, you know, whatever, a pair of socks. This is a one in a million. I hate that. Bummer.

I got a very specific peeve, if I may. Please. People who get up for people on subway, like an old woman or a pregnant person or an old man or something, and then they say, I'm getting off next stop anyway. Do you think just ride it out? No, you don't get credit for getting up the sheet. Oh, I see.

If you're getting off the next stop anyway. Here's a problem. You think that guy wants credit. Maybe he doesn't want credit. That's why he's saying. Oh, no. I flipped it on you. Interesting.

Maybe he's saying it because he doesn't want the credit. Well, then why make a deal of it? Why'd be like, oh, do you want my seat? They're doing this sort of thing. Like, would you like to sit down? And then they let the old woman sit down. And then they say, I'm getting off next stop anyway. And then that person sits down.

I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it because you're getting, you're getting up anyway. Don't take credit for giving someone a seat. All right, all right. I hear what you're saying. Yeah, all right. It's an interesting one. Just shut the fuck up and get up.

Right. But maybe he's saying... Do you give your seat up for an old lady? Every time. Same. You got to. I do too. You got to do it.

What do you think the floor is for someone old? Gray hair. 98. Got to be really old. Pregnant woman too. Maybe a hefty lady with a kid I'll get up for. Yes. Yeah.

Oh, I have something. My neighbor asked me. He was like, do you teach your son to wait for women to get out of the elevator first? And I said, yes, I do that. and he said, how do you do that? I was like, I hold him back. I just say, wait. And I let the woman out.

And he's like, but do you tell him why you're doing it? And I said, no, I don't. You should tell him. But isn't my action telling him? I don't do it for men. No, you got to tell him. I'd say, we do this for women? Yeah, he's being gentlemen.

You let the woman go first. Which one was saying that? Because if it's a bunch of guys on the elevator, he might not get off. He might just think, oh, I'm supposed to wait. But if it's full of men, we go first, if we're near the door. Okay, well, maybe he's put it together. just making him do the work. I don't know.

I feel like action speaks louder than words when you're... Well, you can say and do. Okay. Say and do. Say, I was getting up on the next floor anyway. It doesn't matter. If you see something, say something. Yeah.

You'll get a nap in. All right. Hate the naping. You can nap. I can nap, but I hate when people will say it. Because he's just pushing me away. He's like, yeah, you'll get a nap. I can only nap if I'm exhausted.

I can only nap. I woke up the day after they won the championship just fucking hurting. I went down to the cellar afterwards because I wanted to see Liz and Jamel, the bouncer there. Because I was like, I text them. I was like, if we win, we're taking a fucking big ass bodega cat shot together. Yeah. They poured it even bigger than I was hoping. It was one of you already drunk and they purport you and you're like, well, this symbolizes the victory.

I have to do it. Yes. And we told us that we got fucking nice and I was pretty gone after that. But I still woke up somehow at 8 a.m. to make sure to secure a few posts. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to. Got to secure the memory.

So what happened at the seller? Any highlights? Anything crazy? Big hug from Ari. You know, running into some comics. A lot, all the staff just we all hugged. Hell yeah. New York night.

Just special night. But yeah, it was, uh, Mel is a hardcore fan like I am. So nice to. Because I'm seeing the text in L.A. You and Liz, I'm on the thread. So Liz is like, see at the cell, you're like, we're coming and Rachel's out there. I'm like, ah, I'm missing everything. Oh, yeah.

They all got to. funny footage of us, you know, Stav and I just bombed. Stobb handing out pizza to everybody because he ordered way too much. Was he drinking? No, he wasn't. But he was, you know, booze has never been Stav's vice. He'd have like a Nogroni every once in a while, but, you know. Yeah, his food is his vice.

Must be nice that I have booze as a vice. I mean, I love booze, but. Yeah, but he's got issues with food, you know? Yeah. I'm not saying anything he wouldn't admit. I mean, it's, I think everyone's got their thing. Yeah, you, you too. You're not really a booze guy.

I don't drink that much. What's your vice? sweets are up there I'll eat sweets after meal but I don't know I like watch television late at night and probably stay up to way too late doing that it's a vice to comfort like I'd stay up till two and then have to wake up for seven for my kid

I've seen you get a boner for some cheap Chinese food oh yeah that place we used to go to was so good I miss a greasy but really good with like bulletproof glass like dingy I mean those are the best but those make don't you make you feel like shit

yeah they do yeah for sure I ate so much much pizza in the last few weeks just from like watch parties and shit because you just can't a good slice of like new york pepperoni it's it's tough to beat that oh yeah yeah by the way a couple new i always order arturros for the games but i tried a new place just to mix it up once newavo york it's called killer really yeah it's in i think it's on like st marks or something all right and you ovo yeah yeah really good pizza big shout out i was shocked yeah it got great reviews so i was like Let me just try one new place.

Because I need, Arturo is a little far from me, so it takes a minute. Yeah. Yeah, Nuevo, you are a killer. Good ratings there. Look at that. Balzy to try a new one on a game night. You know what? Sometimes you got to take risks.

And sometimes you take a risk and it really doesn't pan out. I went to the Japanese market recently. And boy, did they fucking whiff. Yeah. It's my fault. I was like, let me be a little adventurous. I was with a lady and she goes, let's try this black sesame flavor, which I'm already like, what, ice cream?

Yeah. Which I'm already like on the fence. And then the guy goes, do you want the chestnut shavings on top? It looks like, you can look this shit up. It looks like spaghetti. Worst shit I've ever tried in my life. I was like, is it good? He goes, oh, it's good.

And the person in front of me, they were like, it's pretty good. It's all right. I was like, well, you know, when in Rome, let me try this. Hate it. Just hated it. Wow, it's a gimmick. They get you with the shavings. They know what they're doing.

I would have rather had fucking shaved pubes on this one thing. It was terrible. Yeah, look up the, it's like shaved chestnut or something. It looks like spaghetti on. ice cream. It was fucking horrible. I don't love these ridiculous. It's kind of like when you get peanut butter whiskey or some shit. You know, like, uh, there's a place uptown

that's always got a line. It's called salt and straw. It's good stuff, though. It's great. I remember going there back in the day in Portland, like doing helium. Oh, really? Like, this is the spot, and now they branched out. It's really good, but they have like, you know, meatloaf flavor. I know. Like, all right. Bronsino. What the fuck?

Yeah. Yeah, pussy. We went to an Indian place. We tried an Indian place, too, because this throw your craze is just, like, some of these What is that? The lines. I got a new idea. Throw your place with no line. It'll go crazy.

I don't know how. I haven't cracked that part yet, but I'm working on it. But no, we go into this Indian place and the flavors are like, it's like cardamom. And I'm like, all right, let's do a sample. These places, they know they have to give samples with wacky flavors like this. And it was her idea. And I said, I took it first. And I go, what do you think?

And she goes, it's not good. I was like, I told you. Yeah. It feels good to throw when I told you. Yeah. It does. It's cunty, but it feels good. What the hell's a cardamom?

Cardamom, the spice. Oh, I don't know that. Look at that shit. How nasty is that. Wait, this is ice cream? Yeah. Oh, my God. Mont Blanc.

No, that wasn't it. Okay. It looks like, yeah, maybe the top left. Is that it? Yeah. That's chestnut? Ugh. Looks like guts or maggots.

Looks like a fucking white guy who thinks he's black's hair in like the 90s. Oh, my God. Adam Durritz? Oh, that does look good. Whoa. All right. Ice cream always looks good. You're not dazzling.

Like ice cream, you're not fucking up ice cream. Yeah. Fucking up ice cream or pizza is like a, it's like a talent because it's so good inherently. I know. To fuck it up, it's like you suck. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, I'm sick of these.

Like, I don't need balsamic glaze on my fucking ice cream. Exactly. Exactly. Just hit me with like classic shit. It's like the people have to get crazy sexually. Like I put a. horseshoe up my ass and then I kiss my dad's picture. I like that. No, but it's like, you know what is?

It's like an entertainer who's using too many gimmicks. Yeah. It's the sound cues of fucking sweets. Right, right. I'm fine. I like a good froyo. Give me, yeah, just give me the jokes. I like a tart.

I like a tart frio with all the candies on top. I like that. I don't do topics. You don't do toppings? No, I like the ice cream pure. Pure. Like my people. Yeah, I just want it.

I want vanilla bean. I don't want, I don't, I don't, I want January 6th, uh, white to heat. It's January 6 flavors. I just want the ice cream. I don't want a Hershey bar or stickers. You don't like like Ben and Jerry's and shit? I do, but that's all mixed in. I don't like the toppings on top.

You just get a little stuff. You know what I really thought was annoying? Is this craze of the, what are they called? The rainbow sprinkle cakes or whatever they are? Have you seen this shit? Everyone's just like tapping it with a little spoon. Oh, does it crack? Yeah.

Oh, I know what you're talking about. Doc cake. That's what it is. Doc cake. This crate, are they good? I mean, it's just cake. Yeah. It's hard to go wrong with cake.

These lines are becoming, I mean, it's too much. What is this craze? Like Froyo's new or something. Every Froyo place has a line around the block now. And then you see fucking Pinkberry with cobwebs on it. Yes. Stay with a hot place for a minute. Oh, yeah.

I'll tell you what's nice, if you want some pinkberry, you can get it now. You got that right. That was a curb app. Was it? The Pinkberry. They get it for the dying dog. Oh, that's a. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Pinkberry was a, I mean, I still like it. I think it's still taste good.

A plain pinkberry has that great flavor. I like that tart. That tart is what it's all about. So good. That's such an adult flavor. It is. As a kid, you want like chocolate or vanilla, but as an adult, you want a little, yeah, you want to say sophisticated, but it's a, it's a little twist. Yeah, I know what you mean. You know what's weird about my kid? I'll give him an asparagus, he eats it. I give him a Cheerio, he eats it. I get him ice cream, he eats it. There's no like, whoa, ice cream. He doesn't react to food. Maybe he's a serial killer. He must be. Something's up. I wanted to give him his first scoop of ice cream and watch him light up.

He was like... He was like, yeah. Well, the goodness is he won't wrap me out if I do anything. He won't be there's no reaction. He likes asparagus. Everything. He eats like a fucking football player. That's a great sign, though, that he doesn't...

That's good to not be a picky eater. Yeah, great eater, great sleeper. There's nothing worse than a... I mean, that's all you want to have a kid. I know. He sleeps 12 hours. It's unreal. Something about a picky eater.

It's just, God, do you ever date a picky eater? It just ruins the night. It really does. Part of the fun of dating someone is you split. You split stuff. Oh, yeah. Picky is brutal. Picky is brutal.

Then when they're with the waitress are like, oh, does it have this? Oh, can you change that? Put that on the side. Put that in hell. Change that. Can you make the steak of fish? You're like, what are you doing? You're changing the whole order.

You have to look at the waiter. Like, I know. Yes. I always did that. So, yeah. Now, I did someone like really complicated, like, match out orders. And you're like,

Just fucking figure it out. Is it Sweden? Yeah, it's probably sweet. It's got to be, I need like a coaster on its ice. It's going to be too cold on my hand. I'm like, why can't you figure that out? Yeah, yeah. Come on.

Double cup it or so. Why is it? It was 800 irritants. And then you're like, I'm dating this person. What's wrong with me? I know, exactly. And then when you're wondering what she thinks about your body. You know, if you're nitpicking this coffee, what are you doing to my dick?

Do you guys try and make the waiter laugh? Sometimes. I don't want to force it. If there's a moment that's clear, you're fortunate, you're a psycho. There's no, nothing's more corny than the guy who's like on with the waiter. Yeah, yeah.

And you just like, he was fucking... Well, you saw that montage of a commines and cars and somebody's like, these poor fucking waiters. And it's them being like, hey, bitch tits, you know, where's my grits? Or, you know, whatever they're doing. It's over and over and over. And the way it's like, oh, yeah, good one, Jerry.

A good one, Rick at your face. Yeah, real funny there. Yeah, but you're the way, dude. I mean, if those guys, that's kind of cool. Of course. But, like, Martin Short and Mel Brooks are such hands. They're, like, going all in on that shit. Do you think the saucers are like, who?

Like, Jesus. Yeah, they're doing the dumb and dumb with the ketchup and mustard. Cool, cool, we've got to clean that later. Thanks. Yeah, exactly. No, that's, I get what you're saying. The always on, it's tough. Because you've got to be bad in a thousand before.

If you miss once, you're just like, fuck. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because they're paid to laugh at your stupid shit. Right. It's like a stripper. Yeah, totally. But we're talking nitpicking.

Can we do something about rental cars? Just saying, the way to get a rental car has not been updated since 1984. What are we doing with rental car? I fly a six-hour flight to L.A. I got my kid under one arm, my wife under the other one. I got a dildo on my ass, and I'm at the Avis in that fucking. You take a shuttle, a shuttle. After a six-hour flight is hell with a baby.

Then you get off the shuttle, everybody pours in, like it's the capital, trying to riot it. You all wait in that mouse maze. Then you finally get up there, and then they're like, you want the gas? No. You want insurance? No. Okay. We found you a Hummer from 1996.

I'm like, what? I wanted a compact. Like, that's all it's left. It's playing smash mouth the entire time you're driving it. We can't shut that off. Then you go to the garage and they go, hey, your car's in G6. You're like, all right, great. You go down to G6, there's a line down there.

I don't know. The whole thing, fuck, Ava's, fuck budget. Fuck all of you. Yeah, they're tough. And you always have to, I remember we had to deplane once. It was one of those, like, we were like circling the air for a while. And it was like, yeah, we don't know when we're taking the office. So everyone gets off.

We're trying to get a rental car. And, yeah, it was like, I mean, you think it's bad normally when there's a crisis. Oh, yeah. Not fucking equipped. It's just crazy I should be able to have a QR code because I sign up online Boop

Yeah there should just be in ad Oh here's the keys It's right there Exactly You have all my information You have a photo of my license My insurance everything But it's like line

After line it's crazy Lines are brutal So when you realize How much of traveling Is waiting on lines I know When you really break it down You're like

This fucking This is insane Insane How much of your life That's why people pay so much To cut lines Exactly Because it's like

It's time It's time. Time is money. Yeah, yeah. That was a great out with Bell joke. Remember that one? Time is, I'm another second closer to death. I'm another second closer to death.

I'm another second closer to death. He goes, time is killing me. Time is wasting me. I think that's why I like to do nothing all day. Time's not going to waste me. I'm going to waste time. Oh, that's fun. He had a lot of great wordplay stuff.

Yeah, he was good. He's got funny stuff. Yeah, whatever happened with Lou Bell. I saw him at the cellar the other night. Oh, really? He's around. All right. Some good letterman sets back in the day.

Great Letterman. He was interesting. He was different. He was kind of cerebral. Yeah. Kind of cooey. I love this joke about how he was on a plane. It was just him and another guy. And he goes, I just realized my chance of dying of a heart attack has just doubled. Because if you get the heart attack, I can't fly this plan. I'm like, I'm okay dying from my heart attack, but his heart attack?

That's great. It was just fun stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, he was fun. It was kind of Dmitri Martini, but Carliny. A little juie. Yeah, a little chewier. Yeah, I remember doing a gig with him way back in the day, and he watched him doing hours. He did some really good stuff.

Yeah, yeah. You ever heard of Ronnie Shakes? Yeah, of course. He had some good stuff like that. Oh, yeah. He was smooth. Great one-liners. There he is.

Look at that 80s motherfucker right there. Died jogging, right? Died jogging. Oh, God, what the fuck. We might have brought him up with Seinfeld, actually. We brought him up on episodes before, for sure. From Brooklyn. Wow.

That reminds me. Gene Shallett died. Oh, yeah. Wow, he looks, yeah, it looks like him. Looks a lot like Shalett. Crazy. When did he die? I think last this week?

Two days ago? Really? Yeah. I get 100 years old, yeah. 100 years old. March 25th, 20, 1926. Well, he had a great run. That was like the era of the film critic.

Totally. A lot of those dudes like Rex Reed and Martin. Yes. Yes, Malton. I still read, if there's an Ebert review. Review? I read it after every movie I watch. I read it too.

It's not even him, but I read it. No, no, the old one. The ones that are him are so well-written. You know what I re-watched recently? Is Network. Oh, classic. I haven't watched it like 15 years, though, probably. And I was like, man, it holds up.

Still relevant. Fucking more than ever. Totally. This is TikTok. This is... It's funny because I was trying to get a girl to watch it, and she... It's hard to get someone to watch it where you're like, Network's not a sexy title. I'm like, trust me.

It's fucking good. It's like, it's a network. I'm like, just fucking watch it. It's sexy. It is. Fade Donaway. Sexy and just a cold-blood bitch. Oh yeah. Duval. So good. And William Holden.

Amazing. Who looks like he's fucking 82. I think he died right after that. Like, you know, he died? How he died? Such a fucking drunk. He slipped and fell and hit his head and bled out. Really? Yeah. Old school. Old school drunk. But him banging Fay Dunaway in that movie, you're like, this looks so wrong. And they're probably not, the age difference is not great, but it's probably so much worse because of just his drinking. Like, he and Peter Finch, like, They look way older than they are in that movie because they're fucking booze pads.

That's true. And Peter Finch died right after that too. Maybe that's what I was thinking. Yeah. And he won the Oscar. Yeah. Possimously. Yeah. But how did he die? He died from a heart attack. Oh, okay, okay. But he's, yeah, he's Howard Beale in the movie.

Yes. They used to play that clip of games. I wanted you to stand up. And I wanted you get out of your seat. Oh, yeah. And I want you down to go, let's go, Mets. But, dude, that movie fucking unreal. So good.

It's one of the best scripts ever written. Yeah. Brilliant. Brilliant. So I was planning for another guest to be here today. So I looked up a noir New York City movie. Whoa. And this, I recommend this.

Blast of Silence as you can find it. Wow, who's in this one? Who made this? It's just this one guy here. He directed it and starred in it. I don't know his name. How do you get turned on to this one? I saw someone TikTok talking about movies and I found it based off a movie.

He was this guy, Alan Barron. He directed it and wrote it. And they made this for like $20,000. Wow. Well, 61. A man wandering through New York waiting to do his hit. Whoa. What a name.

Written by Waldo Salt. Good times. Yeah, he's got a day before he's got to perform his hit, and so it's just his day. That's pretty cool. And no one in the movie knows really in a movie. Like, you can see extras are just people in New York City. Whoa. Was it, did it drag?

Was it good? I did doze a little bit. There was like a love scene and I was like, I don't know. And I didn't talk a little bit. I was watching at 2 a.m. But it's a good payoff. It's a nice movie. Okay.

A lot of movies from just like my just scrolling Instagram or TikTok or whatever, usually Instagram. But it'll be guys being like, movies you got to see. And you're like, all right. And then once they get a couple good ones that you've seen, you're like, all right, this has credibility. I'll give it a shot. And then, yeah, I mean, that's like a film wreck. But also I'm friends with you guys.

You guys are always throwing wrecks in me. I saw one of those clips. for Paris, Texas. One guy just broke down how great that movie is. Beautiful looking, man. Pretty it is. They don't make movies like that anymore. I just watched Fire Down Below with Seagal.

It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. But Harry Dean Stanton's in it. Oh. It's such a turd. Oh, yeah. But those Seagall movies, the bad ones are fucking hilarious. Oh, man. Three-part saga.

That was like Star Wars. Fire Down Below, indeed. That was fucking rough. That was disgusting. Still better than the Seagal movie. Only slightly, though. It was pretty bad. That was that silly.

That was like this Segal movie. You've had better. You've had some under siege far. But no, fire down below is just a fucking turd, but it's hilarious. Does he claim Native American? It actually was a bomb. It was like the beginning of the end. Oh, wow.

Is he Native American? Does he claim it? Because there's just no way. I don't know, but do the out. Look at the outfits in this movie. That one's absurd. Yeah, what is the suede thing he's wearing? It's like a suede blazer.

Yeah. I mean, these are fucking rough. 90s, baby. If someone asked if you were going to watch the Nicholas Cage, Spider-Man? What? I don't know. Oh, I am watching Noir. My question is, why does it always have to be existing IP?

Like, maybe it's good, but does it always have to be like a spider detective? I know. And we are... The Spider-Vers shit was good. I'll admit. I was surprised by how good it was. I guess it just, in theory, annoys me. Yeah.

How many iterations of this are we going to do? It's like Marvel or Fast and Furious 18. Calvin and Hobbs. What's the other one? Hobbs and Shaw. We wouldn't do a love story, but we wouldn't do it with cars. Fast and the Furious. It's always got to be like the existing.

They're so uncreative. So in theory, I'm like, I'm not pumped to watch. Have you seen it? I did. You liked it? I liked the first two episodes, but something really cool. Oh, it's a show. It's a show.

They ask you in the beginning, do you want to watch it some black and white or color? So you can watch it. I'm guessing you're black and white. We did color because I was watching for my son. I think you'd get bored in the black of my one. But haven't we learned with backrooms and obsession that you just need a good movie. We don't need this IP anymore. Enough's enough.

By the way, I got a wreck. Yeah. You guys watching Apple TV is killing it. They're like the new HBO. They're good. What the hell is it called? Widows Bay. Never heard of it.

You got me on. What is it? It's kind of a hoary comedy, thrillery show. with this guy from that show with Claire Daines. He's really a great actor. Wait, what's his name again? What's his goddamn name? Matthew Reese.

Yeah, great actor. He's got to be English, right? He must be. He's coming up for an accent. He looks kooky. Oh, shit, Stephen Root? He's supposed to do our podcast? What happened with that?

Stephen Root. Yeah, just not available if we were available. Damn, he would have been a cool. That guy's career is crazy. Oh, my God. What a career. Office space. By that guy, Hero, who does Atlanta.

That's right. That's right. It's done really well. All right, I'll check this out. Really fun. I don't like horror, but it's like spooky more than horror. With comedy mixed in. Yeah, a lot of good jokes.

I'm checking this out this week. Subtle jokes. Real cast of characters. He's in this small town in New England, like a Martha's Vineyard type place, and everybody's a kook and weird. Hey, I'm back. You're on a bad one today, dude. These are... Ship that right to Bargazzi.

You're not at your best here. Or David Cross. You're warming up for the parade. You've got to save some good ones for the... Bringing the kid to the parade. Are you? 10 a.m. yeah. Damn. Well, you might want to get there earlier.

Yeah, you're probably right. It's exciting, dude. But yeah, I'm going to throw them in that big Brunson jersey. Aw. I'll wear the hewing. I love it. All right. Where are you going to be stinky?

Oh, hey. We're all sold out, I think, in Royal Oak. So try to get a ticket. That's a big room. Big room, yeah. Can't wait. I haven't been there in years. Hilarities, baby.

We added the show there. Emerald City Comedy Club in Seattle. First time, not the last. Side splitters in Tampa. Cobb's Comedy Club and that stuff. We added the late show on Thursday. Houston Improv. Come on out, Texas.

Sorry about the Spurs. Zanis in Nashville. And Pittsburgh Improv. Casino Regina. And Laf Shop and Calgary. Come on by. Get some bodega cat. What do you got?

I'm about to add some more stuff, but as of now, yeah, just Europe still. We got Lisbon, Athens, Budapest, Zagreb and Croatia, Vienna, Warsaw, out of the show there. We got Helsinki, Stockholm, and Copenhagen, and then I'll be back. And it seems like we're shooting the movie October 1st from what I've heard. Is that right? That's what they said. Whoa. You have a release date for your special?

Seems like the special is coming out. Thanks for the leading, Mark. Something I worked very hard on. This is a horrible. Yeah, I think this special should be late October, or late September, rather. Keep an eye out. Keep an eye out. But we'll have a new announcement soon. But, yeah, and buy some bodega cat whiskey.com.

Oh, yeah. DMR. Rodeca cat whiskey Instagram. Oh, oh, yeah. Matt Herman, yeah, if you want it there. Hit up Herman. We sold a ton in Irvine. So thank you to the fans.

Hopefully that is the test that they will pass. Let's see what we got here. Our pushing Boulder doc that he did with Mark is, when this comes out at 500,000. We hit half a mill. Very excited. It's crazy for a dog. It looks great, man. And by the way, I saw the promo show for Ryan Hamilton.

It's awesome. So funny. Yeah, yeah, he showed it to me. Inspired by Point Blank. Yes! He explained to me afterwards, and I was like, it looks familiar. It's funny because we were talking about that movie with Jesulnik, but, and I love that movie. But yeah, it looked great, man.

It looked awesome. Yeah, I got it really good. And we'll hopefully have Ryan on very soon. Yes. Yes. Can we see the point blank scene? Oh, yeah. We don't have to do it on air, but yeah.

Today's also Father's Day. Oh! Happy Father's Day at all the dads. You, you, Rick Brunson. Rick Brunson, did a good job. Oh, yeah. Listen to this. I don't know.

Oh, look at that. Tarantino's still. Also reminds me a little, yeah, Jackie Brown. Yeah, exactly. That's the same hallway. L-A-X. But the vibe is very different. Like, she was just on the walkway.

He's, it's like. Up on a hundred and 10th Street. Great fucking opening. Great. The Delphonics or deltonics. Whoa, great scene. Now, who'd you get doing the makeup? Did you have that in there?

Yeah, Hamilton looks old here, but... No, a cool movie, and yeah, I can't wait for Ryan's special, too, so... Oh, and I got to go to that. Yeah, yeah, you're literally shitting yourself. We've got to wrap this up. All right. You're the best guy. Thank you.

Go, Nick. Get some Bodega Cat. Sunday's a day for my name's close. I've had a little too much birthing, and Norman's top of... shit about the fucking poke and I lunch here and nerd her and I