We Might Be Drunk - Tan France w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

Tan France joins Mark and Sam for a very funny one, fashion roasting, Queer Eye stories, Salt Lake City life, celebrity run-ins, plane etiquette, comedy taste, Amy Sedaris, Tina Fey, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and why straight guys still need help getting dressed. Sponsored by: Order now at https://drinkwillies.com and use code WMBD for 20% off of your first order + free shipping on orders over $95, and enjoy life in the high country. Take an additional $50 off bundles with code WMBD when you shop https://whisker.com/WMBD. Text DRUNK to 64000 for 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #TanFrance #QueerEye #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, we can not drink. But everybody's like, I'm sober now. I can't do the show again. I remember we really wanted Hank Azaria on the podcast because we, you know, obviously Simpsons guys. Yeah, big time. And big time sober. And not only that, they're like, it's going to piss off our people if we do it.

And we're just like. So, yeah, you don't have to drink on this. That's how we're opening the show with Tan France. You should make that more clear to PR people. We said might be drunk. Yeah. That's a good point. We didn't say definitely.

That's a good point. It could happen. Oh, Delhi boy, like New Delhi. No. Oh, sorry. Not everything is a pun mark. I saw Indian guys. To be fair.

That would be fun. When I said I was at Delhi boys, my mom assumed it was New Delhi. Okay. No, but we know a C-Fali. And I think... The other guy's called Saga. Those two together are fucking amazing. And then the woman on the right, if you don't know who she is,

she is one of the greatest comedy actresses. She's on a show called Never Have I Ever. and she's fucking fantastic on it. And it's on Hulu, right, the show? Okay, I'm going to check it out. Such a good show. Great hair on Indians. It's unbelievable.

You have great hair. You got a good... It's a little fucked right now. Yeah. I just had to get it bleached. I didn't mean to say yeah right after you said that. I'm like, yeah, it's fucked up. No, it's fucked up right now.

I just got a bleach which is crazy. It's yellow right now. So please don't notice that it's yellow. I didn't notice until you said it. Don't lie. All right. It's got a little Hitler going. It sure does.

New Delhi. No, sorry, Deli Boys. Now you've got it in my head. New Delhi. They should run with New Delhi. You put an age in there. Well, you say a New Delhi boy season. You're like, ah, shit.

Yeah, exactly. New Delhi boys. She's hot. Yeah, she's wonderful. So, yeah, I mean, we met like years ago, because I first off saw you. Are we going? Yeah, we're going. We're going.

I was just saying to my bubble says, we've never talked about this. When we first met, I thought, oh, this guy fucking hates me. Really? I get that a lot. See, Ibrahim. Jimmy, Kimmel or Jimmy Fallon. Do you remember? Fallon.

Fallon. We were backstage. I was going on. Your girlfriend at the time was going on. I've dated a lot of comedians. And I knew her, but I never met her. So I went back to say, hello. And you were there, and I was a fan of yours.

I was like, oh, my gosh, I love your work. And you couldn't have been more awkward. Really? Oh, my God. I don't remember this. And then I went back to my green room and was like, that guy's obviously homophobic. Really?

Holy shit. Because I knew it wasn't my fault because I'm nice as fuck. And I was like, it can't be anything further than the only thing he had to go on is he's got to be homophobic. And then you messaged. And I was like, oh, he's not homophobic. No, it's my face. That's even worse. I'd rather be homophobic.

I can change that. I can't change my face. I think you were just high as fucking, you just didn't know how to. Well, you know what it was. You were talking to her and I didn't want to like take her moment because I knew she was a fan of yours. So I think I was kind of pulling back a little. But yeah, the second you left, I was like, I fucking love. that guy.

Because we had watched, I wasn't, I'll be honest, I wasn't going to turn on queer eye on my own, but she would put it on. Obviously. And I was like, this is fucking good. And you were my favorite. And, uh, nice. I love the hair guy too, Jonathan. I like him too.

I love Jonathan. But, uh, no, but you guys were like the two guys. I was like, oh, I like when your segments would pop up. Thanks, man. And, uh, yeah, man. No, it's like. That's funny because he walked away and told me that you were anti-Semexamatic. Well, he was right.

No. Wow, great read But dude No, but that show I think I mess you something like Oh no, I think you guys like That positivity, the world is so negative I was like, that positivity is needed

Yeah, man Yeah, yeah, yeah Afterwards you were so nice And then we ended up hanging out Yeah, no, we hung a few times Yeah, yeah, we actually hung out Yeah Wow, I'm not up on the new cab

These guys are way hotter than the old cat So, there's a new Because I used to watch it when it was new Back in the day So there's a new guy His name's Jeremiah And he is very handsome Yeah, with the arms

Yeah Woo whee Pull up the old cats Because they were a couple of You're a dick at you A couple of real slabs No, I'm just kidding I used to love that show

It's a good show It's a good show Yeah especially for a straight guys We don't know what the hell Is going on So we're like oh there we go Look at these uggos Speaking of straight guys

Not going on That's how we wrote really start to connect. Sam, well, every now and then, send me pictures of clothes and say,

what do you think? It'd be for specials. And I was like, look, it's one thing if I look like shit in like a comedy club. Yeah. But if I'm taping this forever,

I was like, dude, what do I do? Yeah. So I would hit him up and I'd be like, what do you think of this jacket? You'd be like, oh yeah. I'm pretty honest about it.

Very honest. Oh, mama. Wait, did you shoot already? We shot that one. That was in Tampa. Yeah, every special I hit him up. So if I don't look like shit, it's because of this guy.

No, I'm over the phone. Every time he sends me pictures, I'm like, yeah, the outfit looks great. Here's my surgeon's somebody. He just sends me a plastic surgery link. I'm like, oh, okay. I don't know. But I do remember that Netflix special, that one. Amazing.

I remember being like, well, you leveled up. Something's different about you. It was that damn jacket. Because I said, I kind of like how Elliot Gould looks in the 70s with like those kind of cool, like, corduroy or suede jackets. You were like, you gave me a link. And I was like, oh, I just bought the jacket you sent me to get. You look so good in it.

Yeah. That was different because we're all wearing bomber jackets and jeans throughout the years. I know, and I really want to talk to you about it. That's actually why I'm here. This is an intervention. But there is a fine line with comedy where you don't want to be too snazzy because it takes away. That's what I say. So that was my issue with him.

I was like, you don't want to become a different person, otherwise it's distracting. And there are certain people I'm like, who are you? Like I don't know that version of you. You've never looked like that. Why would you look like that? Like they went too big, you think? Yeah, man. And so they...

What is like a suit or something? Actually, it's not. the men, it's often the women. I'm like, you've got like a nightclub dress on, but you're just like a regular girl who doesn't dress like that. You're a jeans and t-shirt kind of color. That's why I was like how Sarah Silverman looked. I always thought she kind of like dress like tomboyish, but it worked for it. Yeah, no, I love it. Because it's not distracting. You're like, oh no, I'm not, this shouldn't be a fashion show. I don't need you to give me a look, look. I just want to focus on what you're talking about. Also, they shouldn't look too,

like none of you should look too hard. It's distracting. Agreed. Yeah. You guys are safe. You're fine. Now, I got a million... Okay, so this is a bad look, right? This is a straight white guy trying to look. What was I doing? This is a corporate gig, I assume. Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, what am I doing wrong here?

I think, AOL build. This was press for something. Everyone did AOL build at some point. Yeah, it was fun. The interview was great, actually. She was awesome, but yeah. It's not far off. My main issue is the shoe.

I know that that sounds insane. The rest of it, I can make my piece with, tuck in the shirt, somehow, yeah. It's just the shoe. Yeah, white guys love a baby blue button down. Every white guy has one. It's safe. We're scared to express

ourselves. That's a cool look. Uh-oh, he hasn't spoken. Oh, no, no, I really like that. No, no, I've got no issue whatsoever. It's an 80s jacket, by the way. I get tagged in this all the time saying, I didn't know you were a Mets fan. That's a Knicks jacket from the 80s. Oh, that fooled me too. eBay. eBay.

It fits like a glove. I'd love to join in the conversation. I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, here we go. Now, that's a good face. I'm not angry at that. Actually, you look really handsome. There was a gay guy in front of me, so I look that way. That's how we look at each other.

You're right, we're right. We stare a lot. No, that was, that was like, let me go as simple as possible. Yes. But it's a slick jacket. I mean, I wish you had gone for a black or a white, but other than that. A black shirt? Yeah.

Oh, really? Black on black. I just don't love that version of a burgundy. Got it. Oh, okay. That's fair. This was doing COVID. I was trying to be funny.

I'm eating here. Kenny Power's chic. Good Lord. Wow, wow, wow. I didn't know you were so patriotic? It was a joke, but yeah, a lot of people took this seriously. Man, I should have done more push-ups before this picture. Oh, man.

You really shouldn't rock one of those without, even as a joke. You're like, yeah, this is not funny. It's kind of sad. It's called it Cuck Dynasty. They are definitely the shoulders of those. of someone who's never even walked past a gym. Yeah, pretty bad. Why don't we go in the mark?

How long is this going to be on me? That's boo's face too, if I ever seen it. Look at that. That was winter. Clearly, I'm layered up. Do you know what? That's my favorite one so far. Whoa.

Is it because layers are good? Layers are really good. Okay. You look like you actually put a look on. All right. And you look really handsome. What? Look at that guy.

I think you look really handsome. I look goofy. Look a little bloated. I am a little bloated. But mine's come, don't. Yeah, I can't wait for you. All right, let's give Mark a shot. Oh, God.

Oh, here we go. Joy. All right. Talk about bloated. What I was literally ill here? You called him blow it? I was literally ill here. You looked like you were discovered at the bottom of the pool.

What illness does that? It comes from eating ass. Wow. Yeah. Who's ass did you eat, Lizzo? But look at me. Felt. Yeah, I had H. Pylori, but they made me shoot.

I couldn't get out of it. Jesus Christ. I was bloated. It was water weight or something. All right, this will be on New Year's. That's not bad. I can accept that. It's fun.

Yeah, yeah, I can take that. Actually, that's great. Oh, thank you. You look great. That's before Fallon. Yeah, suit supply. I remember the set. Yeah, that's me being extra homophobic.

Right before Fan. Suit supply is like a safe space for straight guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. I like a suit supply. Yeah, you look great. Oh, thanks. Oh, this is me as a 13-year-old skateboarder.

Is that Bart Simpson? Do you still skateboard? I'm getting old, but I can still kick it around. Tony Hawk shouted him out on a podcast as being a good skateboarder. Whoa. Pretty crazy. You know you've made it when? Yes.

Oh, this is me bombing at Radio City. Wait, is you a special in? No, I was opening for the video music awards. You can see the astronaut in the back. Nobody cared. I like the tie. Hey, thanks. That's my favorite look.

Me and the wife. We went to a sex club. Berlin. Wait, was it Burghine? Kit Kat. Oh, shit. Yeah. So we got dolled up just for the hell of it. Are they caught off or is that a mini skirt? Her or me? No, you. No, that's a boxer briefs.

Oh, it's a box. Oh, okay. It was embarrassing because we showed up to the club and we got there way too early and we're the only people in line dressed up and everyone had a bag. So they wear normal clothes, then go in and then change. There's lockers and stuff. So we looked like idiots. And I remember the bouncer was a real dou. She was like, speaking in German, I was like, I'm American.

He goes, how come I learn your language? You don't learn mine. And I was like, good point. That's bad. Yeah, no, I got with it. The Germans are very arrogant about like, I got heckled a lot during my set. They were just like, fuck Trump. I'm like, first off, I didn't vote from.

Second off, Hitler, okay? You can get to be smugged and have had Hitler, okay? That's fair. Good point. Any quick stories from the sex club, Mark? Well, I had sex with the wife in the club. And a guy tapped me on the shoulder and said, me next. And I said, sure.

I traveled with them. It was nice. So I fucked the guy. You just had sex with your wife and the sex? Well, everybody was banging. So I said, when in Rome, let's go after it. And then the German guy was even more angry saying, we're not in Rome, bitch. And then secondly, I think the point of a sex club is to not have sex with your own partner.

That's true. But she was not into the swapping. The Wai go. Wow. You want to see it. You had a hotel room, dude. Oh, yeah. I figured it's a story.

You've got to do it. Have you ever been to a sex club? No! Come on. Actually, I did accidentally once go to a sex club. It was one of those where you can't wear clothes. You're meant to just be in underwear. And I walked in with a group of friends who hadn't told me, and they know what a square I am.

So we walked in, and the doorman was like, okay, take your clothes off and put them in the locker. And I was like, oh, ha. And he was like, no, you can't have clothes done in this club. Walked right back out. There's no, like, have you met me? Like, of course I'm not going to go to a sex club. Wow. Absolutely not.

Yeah, but you look, you're, uh, svelte, good shape. You work out. You definitely work out. I need just, no. I'm in great shape. I work out for 43. My body is fucking tight. Yeah.

That's no one's business. Like, no one needs to see that in the world. And also, I'm for, especially now, like, I'm old. No one needs to see this. The lights are off. Don't look at me. I'm upset This feels homophobic

But you met your husband In like In your 20s But in like In Salt Lake City Right Yeah I thought you were about To eat in a sex club

No I did Oh look see Whoa You see you're gonna hold this back From the world Thank you so Wow

I can't believe There's a picture About the internet Oh yeah This is his background photo Oh yeah Dude you look like You look like you should be

In a Marvel movie I know I work out hard man I'm like, yeah, I just hide it. Holy Moses. What do you think when this drops in the New York Post? I didn't realize it. It made the post.

That's fucking insane. Do you know what? Because if I do that, they're going to be like, what the fuck happened to this guy? Send help. I really wish that I could. I'm not in that exact shape anymore. I would love to be in that show. Oh, it is the same.

They're twins. Twinner. That's really mean. I look rough, dude. What's really mean? I'm in better shape now than I was then, but that's really bad. Do you work out? I do.

Do you work out a little bit? See, I think that... I have to. You're 40s, obviously, right? I'm 39. Okay, okay. If I didn't do it, I would look like shit. Yeah, Arridge, you got her.

You got her. You just got it. I would be fat. It does look terrifying, and you don't want to look like your dad. My dad looks pretty good right now. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay.

And we drink a lot, too, so that just kills the body. Oh, here we go. My Wiki feet score would just be fucking fantastic. Is it still? It's 4.15 out of five. It used to be 4.9. I had a solid wiki feet. Which is fucking insane.

Someone pulled it down, dude. Is this the new Uber rating? I didn't know. Yeah, it's a ready to be off. Am I on there? Is he on there? Yeah, you're both on there. I'm on there.

I think so. My feet are rough. I'm going to be pissed. I got slave feet. I mean, they got yellow toenail, knuckle hair. Oh, yeah. Is there no rating?

No rating. No, right. It's 4.8. How are you? How is you? A higher than you? Whoa! That is, that's homophobic.

Straight man's feet higher than mine. Is that one there? Oh, there we go. My feet are awful, dude. I could catch salmon with these fucking toenails. These are gnarly. Sam Talon. Do either of you manicure, pedicured?

No, obviously. No. Nothing. I can't sit in that chair. I'm too guilty. I'm on there. I took this photo. Oh.

Yours is higher than mine. That's a good foot. Look at white. Get the fuck out of here. That foot never seen a day of labor. Look at that Wow, it's in my mouth You, I didn't know you had a foot fetish

That's nice Look at that big toe Suck on that Tarantino Yeah It's not, we might be drink You've got to be drunk I guess so Yeah, yeah

I want to know your take Can we pull up some other people I want to know TAN's take Because this is his thing This is what he People like Oh no You changed lives

I feel like Oh no Oh Kelsey Plum She's pretty attractive I'm not mad at whoever this is Sorry I'm terrible She's a point guard On the LA Spark

She looks wicked. She looks wicked. Love this look. This is crazy. Yeah, I know she's got something special. I like that a lot. She would break us in half, Mark. Easily.

Okay, you've got to remember it was the Met Gala, so fuck off everyone. Everyone looks a little crazy at the Met Gala. Sure. No joke, I love both. For the Met Gala, any world's in the world, that would be wild, but I think they look incredible. Yeah, Met Gala's cheating, I feel like. We got a full, like, regular. Ooh.

Yeah, man. No one's doing it wrong. Wait a minute. Wait a damn minute. That's Russell Westbrook from the Kings. One of the very few sports people I know. I think he's one of the best dress men of the world. Not there.

That's obviously... I know it's pretty a lot. He should be waving down a plane of LaGuardia. What else is he doing? It's definitely a look, but I think he looks incredible. More at Gallo. I was about to say something controversial. I'll leave.

Say it. Come on, Tanny. Actually, my controversial take is not a mean take. I actually feel bad for her. You might disagree completely. Just because she's... the girlfriend, wife, whatever, of Bezos. I don't love that...

This is so the wrong place for this conversation. No, no. Lay it on me. My issue is, is that she's fair game for everyone just because she's Bezos's wife. Whereas if she was any other woman in the world, we'd say, no, why are you talking about it? That's a great point. That's horrible. You're 100% right.

And to be fair, if that was on anybody else, you'd be like, yeah, she nailed it. Great body. She looks good. Looks great. I thought that was Whitney for a second. I think she looked very good. Who's Whitney? Whitney coming down.

Oh. I think she looks good. Oh, Marcelo. He looks great. What the hell is you wearing? The other thing is a little nuts. Kyle Kuzma? He looks like a tampon.

He looks horrible. Like a pepto abysmal. Yeah. A pepto abysmal. I love both. You can hate on it all you want. The one on the left, I don't know his name, but he looks wicked. Look, I know it looks like a schoolboy thing.

It's a brand called Tom Brown. You both know. Tom Brown, right? Please don't know it. Tom Ford. Tom Brown is one of the most iconic American brands, and they do shorts with jackets. I know it doesn't seem great to most people. I think it's so fashiony. It's ball. You like bowl. I like, no, no. On anywhere else, I'd say no, but on the sports dudes, when they do the walking and at the Met Gall, I'm like, yeah, be bold, like, have fun with it. Whereas that dude on the right, like, yeah, it's your street look. Wear it on the street. Bronson. That's a good look. I would wear that. The right, what's his name? Travis. On the right, that is the same brand as the shorts one. Okay. So that's Tom Brown as well.

Wicked. It looks baggy. Baggy's in. Baggy's really in. Look at those trousers are in. He's really in. Okay, I'm not loving the one on the left. Westbrook is O for two with you.

Yeah, I know, I know. I like the top of it. Like, if you were to wear a pair of jeans with that, I'd be like, yeah, you look wicked. He's dressed like fucking Mary Poppins. What is he doing? Somebody on Twitter's at bed, but he looks like a gotth, Colonel Sanders. However, I fucking loved his luck.

I thought his look was awesome. I didn't know it was him. He looked so good. Yeah, what is he doing on the left? Is that a... It's a wild one. It's Mary Poppins. I don't know why.

Yeah, that's a Tom Brown sweater, though. It's a Tom Brown sweater. I know the... I'm learning. I'm learning. I think you for saying that. You've always known it. Yeah.

Okay, wow. I'm learning a lot here. Look, again, I wouldn't suggest... I need to know. I'm not dressing like this. I had jeans on and I had sneakers on. But when I'm on a press store, so when you do a press tour, you get dressed up more.

I don't dress like this in real life. I dress just as simple. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, I live in black. Ah, yes. Or a pair of jeans. I never this dress up for anything.

But show the world your shoes. I mean, these have got to get out there. But you feel like you have to bring it because of who you are. Yeah. If I have my job, I would be in a pair of stone wash Levi's jeans every day, a white pair of sneakers and a black tea.

I would never ever make an effort. Yeah. But how do you find, like that t-shirt is distressed? That's my phone. How do you find this shirt? This is vintage. Oh. I go to vintage stores a lot.

There's a place called the DIY, which is our version of the Goodwill in Utah. Ah. And so I go to Goodwill a lot. So you get stuff like for bargains. That's your move. Yeah. Here's my point. You should be able to buy something so inexpensive and make it good. If you can't, you're not a good stylist.

That's cool. If you're a stylist, you shouldn't be able to make any shitty cheap. thing work. Wow. Tell us my wife. Do you know what? When I first got on to Queer Eye, I was already retired. I had money. I could have spent a lot. Instead, I wanted to show people that you don't need a lot of money. So I, do you know what Primark is? Yes. It's like a super, super cheap store from the UK. You can get a suit for 50 pounds, which is like $60. Pull it up. And I wanted to show people, no, I can wear something

that's less than $100, get it tailored, and you will believe that this is a designer suit. And so I did. Whoa. That is cool. I joke about my wife, but she does a thing called where you rent clothes? Oh yeah, rent the runway, yeah. Yeah, and they're cheap whatever, but she'll just rent it and not own it and she gets a million compliments

and if she gets enough compliments, she'll buy the piece. Pretty good move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, if you live in New York, I'm assuming, you guys haven't got space for shit like rent for shit. Right, exactly. Exactly.

Wow, Primar, okay. I'm not saying that that's where you should buy your clothes from. I need to make it very clear. Don't support Primark. It's a terrible fast fashion brand. you don't need to spend a lot of money. Yeah, you get creative. I hear you.

I remember that I got a suit for this movie I was making because I had to get blood on it. And I was like, let me get like a $100 suit. It looked pretty good. Yeah. No one would know. I was shocked. I was like, this is $100. Yeah.

It fits right. I think that people just assume, oh, you have to spend a fortune to look. No, that's bullshit. Yeah. Also, I was broke as a joke. I remember what it feels like to watch. Everybody's thinking, oh, God, I'm never going to be able to look as nice as them. Get the fuck out of here.

I can look as good as them. So you go to do. I think I've been to the Goodwill in Salt Lake City. Yeah, we've got... Because I was just, like, walking around just, you know, a road comic. You're looking for stuff to do during the day. Yeah. And I got a cool shirt for like six bucks.

Yeah. But, uh... The problem is tailoring. Taylor, I find a cool shirt or jacket or whatever, and tailoring is like, you know, $200. Well, you're going to the wrong tailors. I go to Altz. You know, A-L-T-S? I don't know what that is.

I don't know what that is. Oh, okay, sorry. t-shirt repair of jeans hemmed, you can get it done for like $10. What? Where do you do that? Where do you do that? Go to the dry cleaners. They'll do, they'll hem you. My place is so expensive. See? But I think it's New York City prices. Might be New York. Yeah, it must be New York. Because anywhere else, I got my whole suit tailored for $70. So all in all, I got my whole, my whole red carpet look for $150. Whoa! That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I need to make it really clear. Now when I'm with the red carpet, I don't spend that. I spend a heck of a lot more. But back in the day, I just wanted to prove a

point. People must hit you up a lot being like, I can't be the only one. There must be some, there must be some big dogs hitting you up. Like, what do I do? I get those texts almost every day. Really? Who's an interesting, can you share any of them? I can't. I respect that. Yeah, I can't. I think it's, it's unkind to expose them. That's fair. Damn. Does Lane Maxwell? That's exactly. That's why she looks so good in prison. It's a fitted dog. He does look amazing impersonation. Does she? No, Dick and I don't know.

She's an attractive lady. It must be crazy to be living, like, she must have been living well for a long time, and then to just go to prison. Oh, come on. That 180. Yeah. I mean, brutal. She got to stay alive.

The other one didn't. Actually, I don't believe that. You think he offed himself? No, I think he's out. Really? You think he's just chilling somewhere in the world? Yeah, yeah. I think they killed him.

He knows too much. that's my theory. Why not kill her then too? Yeah. Why not want and survive? It's a good point. No, I think they got him out. Okay, interesting.

He's just chilling somewhere in an island, having a dacquerie. Not that island, but yeah. A different island. A new Epstein's island. They revamped it. They've got through a rebrand. Oh, yeah. How does she look here?

She looks kind of stylish, right? Look, this bitch had money. Yeah, wealthy family. Dad was a big guy. But there's people with money who look like shit. I mean, most people with money look like shit. Nah, she had a stylist. There's no way she was dressing herself.

Even back in the day she had a stylist. It's funny to be a sexual deviant and be like, I need to look good on the runway. It's funny to just be pure evil and you're like, I need someone to help. Isn't that insane? Yeah, look at that. Very chic. Vile, bitch.

Oh, wow. Which one? She is. What do you want to say? What do you want to say? She was lovely. Yeah, yeah. It's a good person.

Yeah. Like the actual devil. God. The short hair sucks, but that's the worst thing she's done. You got to be so hot as a woman to pull off short hair. You really do. Like Mariska Hargatay pulled it off. I'm trying to think who, what's, Rita Hayworth pulled it off.

Natalie Portman. Yeah, she pulled it off. Melanie Griffith back in the day pulled it off. Yeah, Hallie Berry. Hallie Berry, but it's rare. You got to be so hot. Well, I think it's a thing that makes it clear to the world just how hot you are or how not you are. Yeah.

Because when you cut your hair really, short, it can ruin you. Oh, yeah, for sure. And it exposes you. I think a lot of people do it thinking, I'm hot enough for this, and then you're like, oh, oh. No. Your beaches are large. Even if you're hot, though, you're hotter with longer hair.

I know, you hate to say it. Actually, not everyone. I think, I still think that Natalie Portman's short, the hottest with short hair. Really? I mean, look at that. That is, look at that face on the bottom left. She looks incredible. Unbelievable. Halfway is not. She looks like simple jack in that photo.

That's not good. I think she's going. She's beautiful, but not with that look. Isn't that she's gay gorgeous? Because I think she looks incredible. She looks like a little boy. I wonder you're into it. Actually, that's the streets who are into that.

Just so you know, believe me, that's the affection of straight men. And Florida teachers. Are into the little boys. I'm telling you the straight men of the pitos. I know that you guys are always coming for us. It ain't us. Oh. Now, there are definitely some.

She pulls it off. very attractive, but she's still more attached to the lung hair. For sure. She's gorgeous always. Actually, she rocked it. Yeah, but she's got a lesbian vibe. Yeah, because she's a lesbian dickety. Oh, okay, well that I was right. What else is she got to? Wait, she's the one

who dated the Twilight guy? She was the Twilight girl. Yeah, okay. All right. Robert Pattinson. Yeah, yeah. Well, might be the most handsome man of all time. He's a handsome guy. Right. Yeah, like Brad Pitt and Benjamin Button look kind of weird, but it takes a lot to make him look weird. Yeah, man. Yeah, and Snatch, they put a

a fake nose on him because he was too handsome so they had to ugly him up. Could you imagine that feeling? You go to set and they're like sorry, we're really fucking struggling. We're going to have to pop prosthetics on you. That's how attractive you are. Crazy. I've talked about this so

many times with my husband thinking, could you imagine walking around knowing that people are checking you out in that way? I know. It's like what's your name, Gwenith Paltrow and Shallow Hal. Well, she was like, this is horrible. Oh, right. They made her fat in that movie?

She's like, this is awful. I'm like, yeah, maybe you keep that to yourself. You want to tell everyone that says, hell. You can not make that movie today. No. No, you couldn't, but it is a fucking incredible. It's one of my favorite movie. I love that movie so much.

That was crazy. So you live in Utah? Is that what you said? I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. Is that super conservative there? What's it like being a gay guy in Utah? No, I think that you've been, I've been in Utah. Yeah, we love Salt Lake.

I mean, it's great comedy crowds, too. They love comedy. Yeah. Well, they don't really drink that much. And they don't have a lot of vices, so that's when they get to let go and be free. Yeah, in Utah, I think that people assume because it's Utah that it's quirky and weird. It's not that weird. Maybe I've drank the Kool-Aid.

Maybe I don't see it anymore. But it's a normal life. It's very liberal where I live. And I've never felt safer being gay anywhere in the world than in Utah. No one's ever caused me a problem. Also, they won't say anything to you. I'm sure you don't get heckled in Utah ever. Like when you're not really, no.

They think something mean they're not going to say it. Yeah. Like you were saying in Germany, they'll say, this sucks, get off the stage. They would never see that in Utah. They're just not. Yeah, they're very polite people. Very polite people. It's one of my favorite places in the world.

We're about to move, though. We're moving to New York. So I'll see you. Whoa. Hell yeah. That's exciting. What prompted the move? Midlife crisis.

Legit midlife crisis for me and my partner. And just work, man. Like, you get more work here. Yeah. I was kind of living in that weird bull, but I've been an entertainer for nine years now, and I thought, I can just live in Utah, and I fly to New York and L.A. when I need to work.

I'm too all for that shit. I actually need to live here. And that's a longer flight. That's like a deceptively long flight. Five and a half hours, no laydown. Bitch. Whoa. Yeah, there's no laydown between Salt Lake and.

Yeah. How about that? The same of Vegas, I think, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just under the... Yeah, the threshold. Yeah, no. It's tough, and I do that a lot.

It's a big airport, but yeah, it's still... I get it. We talk about Salt Lake all the time. That part of the world, for some reason, like comedy and like Salt Lake and Denver. Yes. That part of the country is so good. Yeah.

So true. But they need a lot. I mean, it's no porn, no coffee, no booze. Yeah. Was your, uh, your husband's from there, right? Yeah. Well, he's, he was from technically Wyoming, but he's been there for like 40 years. So yeah.

Wow. Gay Wyoming. Gay rare. Actually, it's not rare. Oh, really? Yeah. No, they're not out. But, like, Salt Lake had a gay kind of underground scene where I bet Wyoming not as, maybe

now, but back then I'd bet not as much. No, and probably not even now. Whereas Utah, Salt Lake in particular, I think it's one of the top five gayest, gay friendliest cities in the country. Oh. What are other, I mean, is it just are the other ones obvious? San Francisco, New York, L.A. Place like that. Chicago, probably.

Chicago, yeah. The Orleans's pretty gay friendly. That's where I'm from. Is it? Very gay. Oh, yeah. I did not see that side of it. Really? I realize you're trying to tap and down. The French Court is very, like as a kid even, it was Whoa. Yeah, it was always been very gay friendly. In pockets.

Because I lived there. We were showing the show for five months. In the French quarter, we made the mistake of living in the French quarter. Yeah, that's a tough spot. Me, my husband and our kid. Any stickups? No, no, no. No, no, thank you.

We had security with us all time. Oh, nice. But it still felt unsafe. Yeah. Then the drunks and bourbon street and all that. It's always loud. Parking's hell. Yeah, parking was hell.

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It's time to turn those what-ifs into chichings with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com slash drunk. That's Shopify.com slash drunk, chuching. I remember being a kid, getting to a cab. The guy would have a beer between his left. Dude, I remember that, too. I went to school there for a year and a half, and you'd get just drunk cab drivers. All the time.

Wild. Terrified. Yeah, they'd have a dacery. Yeah. There's all kinds of corruption with the mayor. It's crazy. They literally don't have the resources to stop you. But you talk yourself, you're like, yeah, he probably drinks all the time.

He's probably a good drunk driver. You start to, like, make deals with yourself. It's not safe. Yeah. But as a kid, it was fun because you could just do anything. Yeah, well, he's not going to yell at you for smoking a joint back there if he's drinking. That was the one upside as a kid. I don't know.

I think as a kid I'd be fucking terrified thinking the grown-ups not being the grown-up, how are we going to get through this? Yeah, you drank your way through it. And it becomes your reality. You're just used to it, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you did New Orleans? Where else did you live for a long time?

Oh, my gosh. Okay, I'm going to try and do it in order. Atlanta, Kansas City. Atlanta was season one, right? Yeah, season one, season two, Atlanta, season three, season four, Kansas City, Philadelphia for one season. New Orleans for two seasons Austin for two seasons Japan for one season

Oh my gosh Where was the last one? Where did we shoot the last one? Oh DC Hey, fun These are fun places Yeah Actually awesome

We had an amazing time We always shot in summer Which was brutal Because we are on the street Fucking brutal But Japan was the best place I've never been to Japan I've got to go to Japan

It's like I love Japanese food I love Japanese culture I want to go there I reckon comics we tour in Japan, not really? Neil Brennan just went there and I think we could do it. Yeah, yeah, we should do it. I don't think we're going to sell a ton of tickets, but it's like it would be worth it just for the trip. Do you guys tour together ever?

No. No, you lose the money. We might do it at some point. We're working on a movie. If that works, we might do a little thing. That'd be cool. Japan is truly my favorite place in the world. It's incredible.

We shot the show there, and it was already on my bucket list. And then I loved it so much that I go back every year. I'm obsessed with the place. What parts of Japan should we hit? Tokyo and Kyoto. Yeah, that's what I. I heard. Everyone who's ever been there,

no one's ever going to say, I had a shit time. Right. No one's even going to say at an okay time. Everyone you all meet will be like, Japan's fucking awesome. Really?

Nowhere better in the world. There's a place in Flatiron on 23rd, I believe. I literally just had a, they do Japanese breakfast. I love the Japanese breakfast with just all the fishes and veggies. Will you text me when you find out

what it is? Because I really do want to go. I love a Japanese. I would love that. I would love that. Maybe all three, it'd be fun. I would love that. What's the breakfast, though?

I don't even know what they eat for breakfast. It's just, you know. Pickled, a lot of... I know it sounds weird. The egg custard thing, the tamago. It's really good. Okay. Oh, yeah.

Speaking of pickles, I'm assuming you're both being because you're both Jewish, right? No, I'm not. You're not. Get out of it. Yeah. Wow. You play it well.

Have you wanted to Katz's deli? Do you know what that is? Of course. At my Knicks' watch party last night, Jake, who runs Katz's Deli was at my next party. He was, I met him at... Oh, God, what's called? Beat Bobby Flay. that show. Yeah, of course. I went to

Beboglade, and he was there as one of the judges, and he was telling you about the place, and I was like, yeah, bitch, I know, I know all about your place. Your pickles are the best pickles of the thing. Legendary. Good pickles. Yeah, I love... That's Jake to my right. Incredible. Hey. Incredible. Lovely guy. Yeah. Very good guy. That place is great. The food,

the sandwiches is this tall. Everyone says it's a rip-off. It's like, yeah, it's expensive, but also it's two meals, easily. Yeah, and their beef barley soup is underrated, by the way. And the canish. I used to always in the winter, popping for a hot dog in a canish. Oh, yeah. Because at night there was never a line and it was a cheap meal. It was like a really cheap hot dog.

Can I tell you about my breakfast? Back then it was. Please. It's not exciting to you, but I just need to know what I was going to do this morning. Do you know what Sunday morning cafe is? It's a place that does cinnamon buns, cinnamon rolls. And I got three cinnamon rolls this morning. I woke up, so I just got back from China last night.

What? And I was really jet-lacked. So I slept for 10 hours and I woke up at 9.30 and I was feeling really hungry because it'd been so long since I'd eaten. So I went to Sunday morning cafe and got three cinnamon rolls and they are fucking massive. Wow. This is a place? And it was incredible. And I ate all three this morning.

Holy moly. One after another didn't pause. Is this trauma eating? Everything all right? Do you know? Yeah, it's not all right. A lot of bread. When you're on a presto for a couple weeks, he can really fuck with you.

And so you just eat what you're just eat what you. So yeah, the recent rules is one. Damn. You have to go. It's incredible. It looks great. Sponsed by them, but they were incredible. Yeah, that's a...

So good. I have an idea for you, by the way. For the next season of Queer Eye, there should be a hook. It's done. No, but the next... After this one, it should be like in-cell edition. You take whoever's most voted most likely to shoot up an office or a school. You take that kid and you're like, and you're like, all right, you.

We're going to fix you. We're going to pluck the middle of your eyebrows. This could have been huge for me. I like this. You're going to save them. And that way, instead of shooting up the school, they're going to, like, get the girl, they're going to be cool or the guy, whoever, whoever they like. But get them, yeah, scour Reddit for who's the most hostile.

Yes. We're giving you a makeover. We can do a real life version of it. We could do a movie version of that because that sounds great. Yeah. It's like a she's all that, but like, a much more terrifying version. I'm talking gamer, mom's basement, mountain dew, the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Save the day. We actually have your rex here. Whoa. Okay. I do recommend. Wow. Okay. I need you to understand this.

Now that I'm looking at this, I did not realize that they were wrecks. Okay. These are not wrecks for you because you are way too straight to appreciate it. I think we had some gay fans. Here's the thing. I was asked what I like right now. And I was like, great. Okay.

But apparently I forgot that I'm a very gay man. So, this girl Jade is iconic in the UK. She was on a show called The X Factor, which kind of like your version of like America's got talent. Oh yeah, sorry, America's American Idol. You're right. So she was in a girl band for 10 years. She just went solo.

And her album won, album of the year, our version of the Grammys, which we call the Brits. Her album's incredible. Even if you're not a gay man, but she does say she makes music for the gays, it's incredible. When you're at a club like the Berlin one, That's the kind of music you will listen to it.

Just gets you in the mood. It's great. Is this going to kill us, Peters? Hey, nice voice. She's got a wicked voice, and she always sings out. She's incredible. Anyway, that's enough.

Thanks, I mean, you don't have the money for that. Awesome. No, no. Okay, next, my wreck. Again, I forgot, I didn't realize. What is, I've heard of I Am Love. What is this? Okay.

You know Tilda Swinton is. Of course. Okay. The girl I'm dating, wanted to watch this the other night. Is it really good? You will hate it. She will love it

It's definitely a movie for the girls and the kids Do you know that? Did you ever see that? Every movie she wrecks is a gay movie And every movie I wreck is like a movie with the title Like The Woman Who Got Murdered It's like a noir from the 40s So you know Luca

What's his name? Guardino? Oh yes we were going to watch this I heard this is good All right I'm going to let you know Yeah I think it was his debut movie I love Tilda Swinton I love Tilda Swinton

She's awesome She's wicked in this He did he did That was a cool movie Every movie he has done has been a box. Oh, okay. Call me all you're doing. So, this is his first one.

Yeah. And I think it's an absolute masterpiece. But I will say this. If you're watching it, you'll think, well, this is a nice movie until the last 10 minutes. The last 10 minutes, I sat there and I watched it twice. And both times, the audience did exactly the same thing. I used to go to the cinema. I haven't been to cinema in a long time.

But the whole audience are the same thing. The credits come up. And I've never seen an audience sit through the entire credits in complete shock. Wow. I'm going to watch it this one. incredible movie. Okay. Yeah, one of my favorites ever.

Okay, then, okay, this one you might appreciate. So that's my favorite Scott Wreck. Do you know what Kunk is? No. So do you know who Diane Morgan is in the UK? I don't. Will you pull up a picture of her? Okay, so Diane Morgan is a fucking national treasure.

So she does a show called Kunk. And it's in England, when we say, let's say, for example, I'm referring to you, and you've got an opinion on chairs. It's Sam on Chairs. That's just your opinion on that thing. So it's kunk on earth, kunk on religion. Her religion one is on Netflix. It's so fucking funny.

She basically starts it out with, I'm going to tell you which religion is better. Judaism or the Quran. Let's start with the Quran. Oh, so Judaism, Islam, and then she'll say, okay, let me read through the Quran and I'm going to tell you if it's good or not. And then it beep, because obviously she'll get killed. Right, right. It's just this bitch is so fucking funny.

And she gives just the most unfiltered. honest opinion on what... This reminds me a little, like, remember back in the day, Penn and Teller did bullshit? I thought that was a pretty cool show, too. But she's very dry, and the deadpan delivery is what makes it.

I'm going to watch this too. So let me sell it, Morpheus. She will speak to an absolute expert on a thing. So let's say, for example, Sam, you're talking about how much you love that camera, and you're telling her, and once you're finished with how amazing that camera is, she'll say,

look shit, though, don't it? Ha ha. Very serious professors and you're like, are you, and I still don't know, she won't tell the world. Are the people who are the experts in on it, because she's so fucking disrespectful about what they do for a living. She's like, you wasted your whole life, studying that. Yeah, it's like Ali G or something. Why, you've got to, you will love it, you've got to check it out. Do you know the show Black Mirror?

Yes. He co-writes that with her. Oh, wow. That's crazy. together and she's incredible. She's also on a show called, do you know what last one laughing is? Yes, this show is brilliant.

Oh my God. So, okay, I've got so many Rexpia. I'm going to text you these later. So season two of the British version, that one. Oh, Jimmy Carr. We've had them on a few times. I'm going to say something. Okay, no mind.

Say it, say it, say it, say it. You can edit it. Oh my God, actually, you're going to kill me for this one. Say it. This is my, this is already me. Say it. Say it. Jimmy Carr's plastic surgery.

No, I couldn't care less about it. Oh, I thought that was you're going to say. I think Jimmy Carr is meant to be like our version of who was like the most successful comic in America? Like a Seinfeld or? Yeah, yeah, like a Seinfeld. Like somebody that's so respecting you're like, you can get anything greenlit. And that's Jimmy. And I've always watched thinking, huh.

What with that show, you mean? With anything. Oh, interesting. Let me tell you why. And I know this, Jimmy, it's not you. You are wonderful. I need just to know that you're wonderful. Jimmy, it's not you.

It's everything you do. It's not you. It's your personality. No, no, no, it's not. It seems wonderful. The thing is, I think that his kind of comedy is so not my kind of comedy because his is very different to, I think you're, I know your work as well, Mark. Oh, thank you.

You two both do a thing that I like, which is you'll just tell a story, and I don't know what you call that. But you'll tell a story, and I'm tracking, like, I'm following what you're saying, and I know you're building to something. And you'll do a callback, and I love that you'll do a callback. His is just a joke, and then a joke, and then a joke, and then a joke. There's no storytelling whatsoever. And so maybe there's a massive audience of that, but that is not my kind of comedy.

I live for a comedy special almost every night I watch comedy. Wow, all right. But I really go for, I want to be caught off God. I don't want to know that the punchline is coming every five. Right. And so, and I don't know. You don't like formula. See, we respect it because it is like a high degree.

of difficulty what he's doing where it's like you're starting at zero every joke. So to me it's like, okay, every joke's got to be pretty solid. But every joke lasts 30 seconds. So you've got an hour special of just joke. And now it's another joke. And now it's another. Sure. Build to something. Yeah, you're like a through line.

Yeah, man. I mean, it's flavors, honestly. It's like, what's your flavor? You know, it's like, I hear what you're saying. Totally. So it's nothing personal. I think he seems wonderful. I just, it's so not my kind of comedy. Can you tell us who you like? Yeah, well, I'm fucking I like, but I love loads. Okay, here are my Americans.

All right. I don't know how you're going to feel about any of this. Do you know who Leon Morgan is? Yeah, yeah. We saw it the Netflix brunch. We were like, come on the pie. She said she's going to come on. We got to get her.

I love her. We became actual friends. I love this one. Wow. She launched her comedy special and we were just bored one night. And I think it was during COVID. It was a few years ago. And we saw a senior woman on a comedy special.

I was like, this is going to be interesting. You don't see that a lot. They don't get Netflix specials. They just don't. And so I was like, no, I want to check it out. It was one of the best specials I've ever seen in my life. She's funny. Fucking loved it.

I like a delivery, too. Such good delivery. Because you just don't expect it from her. Also, I thought that her accent was fake for the first 20 minutes. I was like, dick it is doing this bit for a long time. And then finally you realize, oh, shit, that's just how she speaks. So love her. I love Beth Stelling, sorry.

That's all right. I love her company so much. I think she's so good at what she does. And then the Brits, obviously you can tell I like a lot of women. And then the Brits, Sarah Milliken, I think, is an absolute genius. I don't know who's pull it up. I don't know. Sarah Milliken is one of the most successful comics in the UK, arguably one of the most...

She has sold out massive tours. Okay. I recognize the face. You recognize it. And she just did an American tour, a sold-out American tour, which is hard for a Brit. Yeah. Oh, good for her. She'd be doing it for like 25 years.

I've seen that cover. Yeah, she was very successful. So yeah, she's my favorite. All right. Yeah, she's my favorite, Brit, Brit. Yeah, lots. Okay. But the laugh show is hilarious.

They try to not laugh, and that makes everybody laugh. It's great. It is a genius formula. Genius. Actually, this is not for you guys. Now that we cut back in, I want to make someone's day. Mark, what are some young comics you like? What?

I want you to say someone's name. Yeah, shout out a young comic. I'm actually really curious. Who do you? No, I do actually want to know. Well, shoot out some people who are really kidding. I got a million names. I'll shout out Maddie Wiener.

She's killing at the cellar right now. I really like her stuff. Yeah, Ian Lara, Jordan Fisher, Sean Murphy. All very strong. Anthony DeVito. He's not that young. But... How about some real white folks?

Oh, there was two blacks in there. Let's see. Ian and Jordan are not white. Well, wait, wait, there's someone else that I love. Oh, yeah. Just like to say, especially on YouTube. Do you know who Zach Noey Towers is? Yes.

I know the name. I've done his show. It was so funny. He's a blonde guy, right? He's a blonde guy. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I know him. I thought it was like 20, but it turns out he's my fucking age.

He popped up on my Instagram and then I watched his special. Gay, it was incredible. It was so well crafted. Yeah, I did his radio show. He's really funny, quick. Cool guy. Other young folk who are killing it, I'm trying to think. I know.

I always blow this. I don't know the young ones. Uh, they're out there. Oh, geez. I'll think of something. Are you watching, or I'm assuming you don't watch a lot of comedy because it's your world. Yeah. Do you watch Funny A.F? It just came on.

No, but we're going to have Caitlin and Usama on, I think, together. Okay. Caitlin and Osama are fucking incredible. Did they win? Don't tell me. No, another guy. I'm on the last episode. Okay. We just told you.

Sorry. They're right. Those who are fucking fantastic. We've known Caitlin and Usama for a long time. So it's cool to see comics who are working. working hard to get like a little bump. Yeah, they were ready. We did a really good job. We did those reality shows.

Oh yeah. Oh, you did? Last comic sucked. They've gotten better since. They've fucked us over. They'd put us in a car and make us wait. You know, like, oh, the car's not working. We'd all sit in a hot van and fight.

Clearly, Kevin Hart was like, I'm going to make this as comic friendly as possible. Whereas before you're dealing with, Netflix is way more comic friendly than NBC. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it seemed like they were really happy. I think they were treated well.

I'm sure it's still miserable, those realities. Anything where you pin people together. That's why your show is like one of the few reality shows where it's not like a competition. The thought of being on what, I don't watch House Eyes or any of those shows, but I know obviously, I'm not stupid, I know what the premise is.

And I just thought, could you imagine going to work every day knowing my job is purely just to fight today? Like, I've got to call someone a con on camera today. Some people are really good at it, though. It's like some people are just like gifted with the ability to be like, I like confrontation. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I wouldn't call it a gift. I guess it's a curse. No, no, no, I don't shy away from competition. I want to make something very clear. I think that, actually, the internet apparently knows that I can be quite harsh. But I think the common misconception is... Yeah, Jimmy Carr is killing himself right now. I think the common misconception is because I speak the way I do,

that you can say whatever you want and I'm not going to say anything. Oh, I will always have retort. Like, if anyone... I learned this back in the day when I was a kid, because I was such a skinny, because I was a tiny kid, I was skinny, and I was gay. I think that people always thought, I'll destroy him in a heartbeat. And my favorite thing to do was like, okay, just give me what you got, give me what you got. And I'm going to make you fucking cry.

And you're going to go home to your mom and tell mommy what this gate did to you. So yeah, you learn that real young. I'm like, okay, bitch, like you think you're a big strong straight guy. Let me show you. Anyone else hard? I just love the idea of you getting bullied. You're like, allow me to destroy you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nice try, pussy. Yeah. Did you get bullied a lot? To go back to what I just said, I think so many tried, I was an exceptionally violent child, exceptionally violent. Whoa, violent. Yeah. And so, look, I was brown in a white community. My dad made it very clear.

You will not come home beaten. If someone swears at you or hits you, you will make sure you almost kill them. Like, if they're not bloodied, there's a problem. If you come home bloodied, they're. will be hell to pay. Whoa. So me and my brothers just learned real young.

Talk to me wrong and I'm going to beat the shit out of you. And then we were sent to boxing so we really knew how to play. And so, yeah, I loved when somebody would come up and try and treat me like shit. I'm like, okay, bitch, this is funny.

Yeah. You take your turn now. It's my turn. I love the idea if you beating the shit of a kid and then being like, and that's the outfit you chose. Yeah, that's just awful. Damn, that's cool.

Did your dad know you were gay at a young age or now? No. No. Do you think he would have been cool with it or now? Well, no. God, no. But he passed away when I was 13, so I think it was too young to know. And to be fair, no one would have known.

No one would have known. Up until the time when I came out, I was living in Timberlands, baggy jeans. I didn't speak as softly. Like, I was a very, very aggressive kid. And so no one would have suspected whatsoever that I was gay. When I told my family, who I'm really close with, they were completely shocked. They were like,

but you're one of the most aggressive people we know. Wow. But that's an act you play. How old were you when you came out? I did it over the course of like 10 years. But I started when I was like 17, 18. Oh, yeah, pretty weird. That's hilarious.

Wait, which one is you? That's a really good fucking question because none of those brown kids are me. I don't know any of that. I don't know any of those brown people in that picture. That kids got good hair with that. Look at that. Yeah, beautiful.

I have literally no idea why those brown people are meant to represent me. Never seen them before my entire life. I don't know who's family that is. It ain't. That's me. On the, whoa, whoa, no, go bottom right. That little kid, okay, I was four and my mom dressed me in that, that one with the bowtie, but that was me as a kid. Wow.

Okay. Yeah, you don't, you just look like a regular old guy. Regular kid. Regular kid. Wow, you really had a glow up. Look at this middle one. This emo face. Fuck you, bitch.

Don't make me make you cry It'll take me ten seconds That's how we'll end the episode He just curbsed on Salak He was like Jesus He killed over dude Do you know what It's not the Justin Bieber

I was Do you remember somebody called Pete Wentz From like the early 2000s Was he in a group or boy band or something? Good Charlotte maybe So that guy I really liked that guy's hair He didn't look like that

He had the sweepover hair when he was younger. And all the girls loved him. And I thought, okay, I'm going to be that guy. So that's what I was going for. Damn. I think I nailed it. Yeah. That was a tough era.

But what's really weird is seeing a Pakistani emo guy. That was a rough era, that rap rock kind of lip biscuity, good Charlotte, all that shit. Fred Durst. Yeah. That was a weird time. Totally. Okay, that bottom right there, that was the luck I was always going. But he was like on the cover of every magazine.

I was like, who was that guy? A fallout boy. Yeah, was there like a celebrity who made you realize you were gay? You're like, that's a hot guy right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever see, God, what was it called? AWOL. Do you know what AWOL is?

Is that the band? No, no, no. There's a movie with a guy called Jean-Claude Van Damme from the 90s. We know him. It's called AWOL. and watching AWOL, I made my family get the burner because we were poor so we couldn't afford it. And so we got a burner copy of AWOL.

Whoa. Oh, was it called something else in America? Yeah. Ah, that happened a lot. Lionheart, I've seen. Yeah, that happens a lot. In American movies, are called something else in the UK.

Mm-hmm. Anyway, so Lionheart, I just thought, who is this man? And he could do the split. Oh, my God. Yeah, he was offered in spandex. Yes. Like his jeans, but basically spandex.

He had a run. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He almost turned me. It was close. I was on Conan with him once, and I could tell the interview was not going well, because Conan halfway through the interview was like, why don't you try a move on me? Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. He was just looking for anything. Pull up him dancing in, is it Bloodsport where he was drunk and dances? Absolutely right. See, here's the thing. There is. This dance is hot. I think I broke like a VCR tape because I wound this so many.

Yeah, there you go. Oh, man. And he had no moves. No moves. Get still. The most attractive thing I'd ever say, wow, I've got those pants. Oh, wow. I really did get inspired by this guy.

Oh, my gosh. No one had that physique in the 19th. No one else. And he had charisma for sure. Pull up the clip of him on the motorcycle. Have you seen this one? The shootouts? It's the most stupid shootout scene ever.

Yeah, no, he had a run. Oh, yeah. All my friends. friends' moms liked Jean-Claude. Is that one? The second, yeah, there. This is the most... Have you seen this?

No. This is the most insane shootout scene of all time. This is Tan going to work in New Orleans. I mean, this is pure 90s. 90s. Oh, yeah. I know everyone our age says it, but the 90s were fucking incredible. The movies in the 90s alone.

movies, TV, the music. Also, did you see that guy? When he jumped over that fire, that was so clearly another fucking person. I know. He didn't have the same hair whatsoever. We did not give a shit. There was a movie in the 90s called Three Ninjas.

Remember that? Three ninjas. The grandpa in the last scene, he's supposed to be this great martial artist, and he's just an old, tiny dude. And you can so clearly see a stuntman when he's doing backflips. It's amazing.

I don't know if you were the same when you were a kid, but when you'd watch martial art movies once the thing was over, you would that do it. So I had brothers, so I would do it. Did you ever see a movie called, in England it was called Big Trouble, A Little China? Yes, of course. Kurt Russell. Oh, my God, I was upset.

Oh, this is it. This is the scene. Wait, what happens here? Big Trouble in Little China? Yeah, for sure. Famous director, wasn't it? Wasn't it someone big who did that movie? No, really?

I don't know. Yeah. Maybe. This is, yeah, the grandpa. Oh, that was a bad punch. this is such a 90s villain that haircut I know he always had to have a pony yeah it was very sagal

this is killer whoa I don't think that was the grandpa for some reason but remember he gets him with the jelly beans yes that's right no it's the same grandpa he's the same guy in this he fights in this two things of a little china he's like the sense say in this

oh god I've fucking loved it it was incredible so it was the Asian dudes there were three Asian dudes who were like the ones with magical powers. Yes. They were the sons of the God guy. Oh my God, I was obsessed. Like one of the woman who's snarling did the lightning. Yeah, him.

Oh, and the flips. My dream was to do the backflips across the recess courtyard. Just to impress like all, I don't know why I thought the girls would be impressed. To impress everyone to be like just backflip across the entire thing. Now, are you a gold star? there's one up above gold star just so you know which means you didn't even come out vaginally I can't what's it called

Wait wait what? Yeah come out vaginally Yeah Oh you were a C-section Whoa So never touched one Oh it's called platinum It's called platinum You weren't a C-section

No I was out the veg I was a C-section Ah Big head So you started out Platinum Yeah And you ruined it Yeah

But yeah platinum Wow platinum Yeah thank you so clam Thank you for applauding that That's impressive You're out of the gate. I do want you to know this, and I want you to know this, like, deep from my heart that this is true. Even though I'm platinum, I've seen more vagina than you two will ever see in your life.

I'm sure. Where? Well, I make clothes for a living, and I see women in their underwear and naked all the time. I've seen so many. He's a peeping time, but you've got us to be. Where? And how can I? The only thing higher than platinum would be if you came out an asshole.

I don't know what we call that. Yeah, real skill. You and the gerbil from Richard here right here. But yeah, I think that straight men are like, me and pussy, I'm like, you calm down, little boy. Like, you've not seen anything. Now, is that a bum me out a little? It depends on who's. And so I went over and we had a couple of actresses join us for dinner.

Some of the most famous actresses in the world, we were there hanging out. And I had said, I don't know how it came up in conversation. but I'd never seen a vagina, like in that way. I'd seen them, but never like seen, seen. We were talking about holes. Do you know how many holes are in a vagina? Holes? Well, there's the main hole, and then there's the P hole.

So I would say two? We're failures of the school system here. Yeah, what do we got? No, give me your answer. I was going to go two, too. Is that, are we way off? Apparently, it's three. Three?

We have a lady in the room. You can't, yeah, she's a lady. Oh, I forgot them. We have a lady in the room, so we're not going to look at her or talk about it. So there are three, from what I'm told by these two actresses. And so I was like, I had no idea. I've never really seen one. So I had seen many, but just whilst we're getting changed in my studio,

I'd never thought to look, look, because that would be impolite for a gay man. Actually, the straights also don't look when you're not asked to look. Anyway, so she said, come with me. I was like, what do you mean? And the other one was like, oh my God, are we going to do this? And she was like, yeah. So we went to the bathroom. She took her jeans down and showed me exactly what everything was and how it operates.

And what was the most surprising one of, I was like, what's that thing? And she was like, oh, that's my tampon string. I was like, oh, my God. Whoa. Who is this brown? Oh, my God. Well, what are you doing? Take that away.

Take that away. It really was? No, take that. He said tampon string. She's like 80. But I just guessed. Why? No.

Who's, no. Helen Mirren. No. Do you think Helen would just show me her vagina? That's what's so... No. Just the audience... No, he just pulled up porn.

No, it's not her. I was in complete shock. Wow. You're getting invited to better parties than us. Yeah. I'm like, you guys want to come over and watch the Knicks all over a pizza. You're seeing celebrity vaginas? You are just lame.

And they're just lame. And she told our friend to show, and our friend was like, no, I'm a fucking show. Yeah. And she was wearing, do what a boob tube is? It's just this fabric that goes around. There's no, like a tube top. Yeah, tube top. Sorry, it's our American call it, tube top.

And so she was like, okay. And then without giving her an answer, she just turned and pulled it down. She was like, at least show me your boobs. I was like, I've seen those that don't care about those. What a party. Man. Wasn't even a party. It was just a nice, quiet dinner.

Wow. It's just an interval during dinner. And are these. attractive women. Shockingly beautiful. Oh, they're just showing gay guys everything. Shockingly beautiful. Wow, you know what we have to spend to see that?

They're getting it for free. They're not on only fans. You don't need you. Okay. No, you're not going to spend money on them. But gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. Wow. Her.

The comment sections of me by wild one. I know. Her vagina was, again, I've seen many. I know what they look like. It was the most beautiful vagina vagina I've ever seen. Well, we know it's a certain age because of the tampon.

So the detectives are ready. Good point. If it was somebody younger than somebody who has a tampon, I'd be terrible. I wouldn't have been in that situation. I just need you to understand. I think I speak from Mark, too. I'd be glad to see Merrill Streep's vagina. True.

Legendary. Yeah. A lot of range. Yeah, but it is legendary. Yeah. Wow. I didn't mean to bring it to a screeching hog. No, what I'm thinking about a vagina now.

And then life got even crazy. Oh, man. He's the one in leftovers, right? Yeah. Yeah. By the way, huge hog on Thoreau. Yeah, he was through the jogging. Yes, yes, pull that scene up, but I don't want to get tan excited.

I need you to know. He is one of the greatest comedy actors. Have you seen him in anything else? He's fucking incredible. He wrote Tropic Thunder. No, he did. He did. He did.

What? Yeah. That's insane. He's so funny. American Psycho. He's funny as hell on that. Yeah, that's true. And even just general conversation, he's so funny.

Wow. He's in. Do you ever watch the show? There's no reason why you would watch this. You know who Amy Sedaris is, right? Of course. Of course. Strangers with Candy.

Stranger's an incredible show. And also the TV host, I forgot his name, Stephen, is amazing in it. Oh, yeah. Colbert in it. Look at it. He's got like a potato in his pants. What's going on here? It's a weird shape, though.

It looks like a fucking French cruller. I think they have those at Sunday morning cafe. So he was an Amy Sedaris's show, which is at home with Amy Stadaris. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he plays multiple. characters on the show. His comedic timing is incredible and he always plays a ridiculous character. His body's insane, I know.

Yeah, he's just, he's one of the... You don't get to eat anything if you look like that, right? He doesn't eat, I don't think he eats dessert even now. He's not a dessert person whatsoever. Pull up his dating history. That's got to be a crazy diet to look like that. I want you to know that even there he's probably like 50. Damn!

50. Pull his dating history. He's in his mid-50s now and his body's insane. Insane. Wow. Good genes. No, it's not that. He works really fucking hard. He works out so much. That's such a cop-out thing to say. Okay, now it's just fun

knowing Jennifer Anderson was getting pounded by that hog. That's exciting. For years, look at that. Six years. Wow. Good for her. Okay, I'll be there. When were we supposed to get Amy Sederis on this podcast? What happened there? She's a fucking genie.

Busy? Can I tell you the craziest story about her? I met her through Justin. So do you ever go to Ray's Bar? Ray's Bar. My favorite bar in New York. Pull it up. It's owned by Justin, a guy called Carlos, and, oh my God, Mark Ronson. Do you know the DJ Mark?

Oh, sure. So they own Raise. Shout Out of Race, it really is the best bar in the city. Wow, throwback. What's so good about it? That booth in the corner, if ever I go, they're very nice, and they let me have the booth because they'll partition it off. And I was going one day because Justin was hanging, and he said, do you want to call it?

Com, uh, com hang, went over, turned up and Amy Sideras is there. And I'm a mega fan of Amy Sderas and I never met her. And at this point in my career, I know how to keep my calls. So I just went over and said,

Hi, what are you doing there, Amy? And she was like, I'm just having a snack. She had brought to this dive bar, saltine crackers and really expensive caviar. And she was there putting caviar on saltine crackers and just having a snack. There,

it was one of the weirdest experiences thinking, of course you brought. Fancy caviar. Yeah, right. She's insane. In the best way, I think she's an absolute genius. I went into one in the street ones. I don't know her, but I was with Todd Barry who knows her.

And she just like a drive-by zing on Todd Barry. Really? She called him old or something. And it just crushed him. But he was, we were laughing. But it was like. I don't think she can't. I think that that's just who she's.

She cannot be wildly funny. Have you seen her house? No. Oh, my God. I know it's so cool. Quarky. Yeah. Like really fun decoration.

She does a. show out of there, like a internet show. Pull up her house. Oh, is that way she does her actual show? I believe so. Then I do know it. If you haven't seen it at home with Amy Sideris is one of the greatest comedy shows on TV. I got to watch it.

She's pretending to have a lifestyle show like a Marvel show. Right. But she booked everything else. And then her assistant is Cola Skoll. I mean, if you don't know who Cole of Skoll is, oh my God, Cole plays a woman who lives next door who's her assistant. And he plays it so well. He plays it so well.

It's genius. I mean, what a family. Her and the brother. That's quite a bunch of talent there. I know. So I was doing a comedy show called Dressing Funny for Netflix. And he was going to be our guest. I quit the show the day before he was meant to be my next guest.

I'm so upset because I fucking love his work. How is it working with Tina Fey? Because I've never seen Mark freeze up. We were in an elevator with her at a Knicks game. And Mark's trying to me, he goes, I'm going to say something. And he completely chicken down. I panicked. And I get it.

So nice. I know. I worship for the world. And we don't want to cross that line. Okay. Okay. 30 Rock is like the comfort show for me. I watch it almost every night.

Okay. I'm going to be so lame and give you my famous person's story. So I was on a red carp. My first ever Emmys, the first year we had only been on TV for like three months, four months at this point. Literally just got onto the red carpet and Tina Faye ran towards me and said, oh my God, I can't believe you here. And I thought she can't be told. talking. There's no way she's talking to me. I turned around thinking, who she's talking to?

I can't believe that I've seen Tina Feyn, then I realize, it's me, bitch. And so I was like, wait, who do you think I am? She's like, Tan, you dick. And I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, yeah, that it is me. Anyway, we got along great, and she was like, I'm such a fan. If you ever want to hang out, it's like, of course, I want to fucking hang out. You're kidding me. You're Tina fucking thing. And so I said, look, this is really weird, but I'm about to start this comedy show for Netflix.

If you'd ever consider being on it, thinking I'm just going to shoot my shot. She was like, for you. Yeah, I'll do that. And so a couple of weeks later, on dressing funny, she agreed with Rachel, oh my God. I love her, why am I forgetting a name, Rachel Dratch. Oh, yeah. Rachel, that's no disrespect to you. She's an icon.

So her and Rachel Dratch just did my show. And my husband came. He's never been to anything I've done. He couldn't give a shit about this job. But he was like, can I come to sell? I was like, yeah, come to set, because we are obsessed with, it is my favorite show ever. Yeah.

He just sat and watched, and every time in between takes, I'd go back to the screen room and he's like, you're talking to Tina Feyn? I was like, no pictures. Wow. She's awesome. And then, yeah, we developed a show together, and I couldn't believe it.

And so we got to Zoom. I'm praying she will never see this, because the first two Zooms we went on, sneakily, I took a picture of her on my Zoom thinking, I just need to know that forever I can look back at this picture and be like, I had a Zoom with Tina Faye. Right. Right.

Whoa. I had a thing like that was pitching a show with Brian Cox. I never snapped the picture. I was too chicken, but we had him attached to do a show with me and it never went anyway. I mean, maybe it will at some point, but. It doesn't matter. Just getting Brian Cox.

He liked the script I wrote. That's literally what I was about saying, who gives a ship it never goes anywhere. I wrote with Mike Lawrence, by the way. It was a great writer. But, yeah, we were in awe of Brian Cox. Yeah, man. But yeah, Tina Fey is another one who's just like,

to be the straight person on that show and still get all the jokes off. Oh, yeah. Like, it's crazy. Like, you just made it so you're as funny as everyone in the show. But you're supposed to be like the, it was crazy writing. I actually think she has the best lines of all the lines. I mean, I know Tracy Morgan's incredible. And Alec Baldwin on this show.

Oh, no, of course. Unreal. But Tina, her lines are better than anybody else's. And I will say that, and I'm not just saying this to blow smoke or us, she's so much better in real life. Really? She's wonderfully kind. I was really nervous thinking there's no way somebody this big is going to be a good person.

Right. Because I was so new to all of it. I just thought that they're all cons. They've got to be cons who are that famous. She could not be nicer. So cool. I think that's the reason we didn't want to say anything. I know.

I watched 30 Rock all the time. I'm like, I just want to love her. Yeah. I almost don't want to meet her. Yeah. Because she's so awesome. But you're right about the elevator.

There's certain places where she can't escape, you know? It feels weird. I was about to say. On the way out, it's okay sometimes. Yeah, exactly. Let the door open. There's certain places where people will say whatever they want to say to me. and anywhere else I'm like, this is lovely and I really appreciate it.

And I'm sure you've got your versions of it too. But my two places, I'm like, please be, please don't talk to me here. Elevator, because you don't know how long you're in there. Yep. But the one that happens, the most it happened yesterday, is when somebody follows me into the bathroom. Yeah, it's an annoying one. The urinal's an annoying one.

Well, I haven't used a urinal in nine years because of that. It happened my first week of becoming an entertainer, and someone came to the urinal next to me, started peeing, and then started to talk to me. about how much they love the show. And I was like, listen, mate, I don't know what to say. My dick's out. Yeah.

I literally got my dick out. And then after that, I've never used a urinal again because people have followed. It happens so much more than you think. Yesterday, I'd gotten up a 19-hour flight. And then the manager of the Delta Lounge said, can I have a picture? I was like, yeah, sure. He said, but I can't take it in the lounge. Right.

It's against company policy. I was like, okay. I said, I'll be back in a minute. I just use the rest. So I went to the restroom. He came in to have a picture of that. That's not against company policy? Right?

So I turned and said, mate, that's so nice of you, but I need you to wait outside. And he was like, oh, did I make it weird? I was like, yeah. Yeah, you did. Unless you're going to show me your vagina. Yeah, you made it weird, man. Why would you come to the restroom with me? That's crazy.

Yeah. Whoa, I've never had that one. Never had the restroom thing. You've had the urinal. You're next to the urinal. I guess so. But never the five. follow in. I get the, at the restaurant a lot, where the guys are standing over you and I'm like,

oh, yeah. And I'm like, how long, I'm stuck here. Yeah. So you got to leave. Yeah, yeah. That's tough one. Don't you just do that? Well, it was really nice to meet you. Yeah. That's the move. That's the long. Yeah. I guess so. Yeah, I love a drive by. Hey, comedy, that's the best. I love it. It's my absolute favorite. Yeah, I will take a drive by over. And I, you can do it all day every day. That doesn't move whatsoever. So like, just a quick ego boost. Yeah. Yeah. Also, it's nice for the people around who don't know you. You're like, yeah, bitch. I think the elevator too I remember

I think we were at a game Bill Bradley was in the elevator Nick's legend like you know old guy now but I literally I'm like I don't want to bother much on the way out of the elevator I was like I was like huge fan

thank you for everything and he was like thank you for him and keep it that quick yeah also what I love about Tina Faye her at the Knicks game she's just like I know

everybody's hooting I know it's very Liz Lemon it is it really is and Tracy's very Tracy yeah he's right next to her like Tina could not be more Liz And I know that we're not meant to see her as the character,

but it is like 100%. It's her. It's her. Like a lot of the time you'll meet people that you've all met, people that you love a character, then you meet them in real life. You're like, oh, no, you're really fucking boring. And you're not of all that character.

But she can't turn it off. She literally can't turn it off. She is Liz. I love that. We got to get her on, Peters. Get Tied on here. All right. Also, same initials.

Only 10 minutes left. This is a smooth transition into peaves if we can. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So that bathroom is, sorry, look at what a fucking professional. I'm going to do your fucking, your link to this.

Not only a bathroom is my issue. The biggest issue I have is on a plane. There's been a lot of discourse about it recently online. So here's my biggest issue. When you're on a plane and you just want to recline. And then that person behind you will make a complaint or even worse, push it back. Whoa. That's fighting words.

Push it back. This is my seat, man. You have no idea how hard it is to be like, don't call them a cunt. Don't call them a cunt. The pushback's aggressive, but I got to say as a tall guy, I hate the recline. It always crushes me. It always crushes my legs. But I've got a really important question for you.

How is your height my problem? Wow. I pay for that seat. And that is a long-ass flight and I need to. No, on a long flight, you got to recline. I'll give that for sure. Would you do the same to a fat guy? I would do the same to anyone.

You know? I would do the same to anyone. I just think, again, I've paid, like most of the discourse online is, just because you paid, but it doesn't mean that you get to take up my space. Once somebody recline, you fucking recline.

Right, right. This is an airline issue, though. They have turned us against each other because they've made the plane seats too small. So instead of being mad at the airline, you're mad at your neighbor. They've turned us on each other, and I resent that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a flight issue. These seats are the same size for people who are small. or a generation ago because these are old planes. Right. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

But would you ever say to someone, because you are tall, don't recognize you see it. No, I would never say it, but I'll be like, ugh. It's like one of those. And you keep your own anger to yourself. That's the respectful thing to. Just swallow it. I've seen the photo of the person with the hair,

the long hair above the screen. Oh, that's crazy. Disgusting. They should be deported. I saw someone do this and I know it's so mean, and I'm not suggesting you do it, but it's so what I would want to do. before I became public, put chewing them in that fucking hair.

Someone put chewing them in the hair. I'm like, yeah, I see, you deserve that, dickhead. Look at that. That's appalling. In the coffee. Whoa, what a move. Yeah. I totally get it. Like, how disrespectful. And then drink the coffee. Oh, they put gum in. That is so disrespectful to do that. I get the call. I get it. Wow. Now, to piggyback on the recline, I hate this guy who uses your seat to get up every time.

Yeah, my God. Sometimes I'll hit my hair a little bit. Oh, my God. It drives me crazy. I'm like, any aggression or hostility that leaks into my seat is tough. Yeah, yeah. You getting up shouldn't be my issue. Speaking of getting up, do you have a preference on where you sat on the plane, window or aisle? I'm an aisle man all day. I all day. Wow. I'm always window. I will never, ever go fire. Because you're too famous, I think. You need to hide.

I'm not going to say that, but I will say it does make it harder for people. people to talk to me or disturb me on a flight. If I'm by the window, you're absolutely right. And so a window, though, means that every time I need to use the restroom, I have to ask somebody to get it. That's why I don't do it. Which, no, no, I absolutely get it. Before I became an entertainer, I always had the aisle so I could get up whenever I wanted to do. Also, you get to stretch your leg when the cart's not around, which is great.

But I need the security of that window seat. I just need to just be able to tuck away to be left alone. And so I need to get out of the way when I need to pee. And the guy yesterday was pissed with the entire flight. And so at one point I did say to him, I know it's annoying, but what do you want me to do? Yeah. I have no option. I need to pee.

Right. Yeah. You got to pee. But are you over peeing? Some guys pee like 10 times. I try and do it as little. I will drink as little water as possible. I don't have to do it.

It's maybe like twice. Yesterday was a 19-hour flight. It was going to happen a lot. That's crazy. That guy's nuts. Oh my God, it was nuts. I've apologized. When I've gotten that seat.

Well, you're a peer. I'm a peer. I pee a lot. I drink a lot of water and coffee. So it's like that combo's going to kill you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're in an aisle, so you're fine. But if you're in a window, that would be annoying.

But if you're in a window seat, you've got to respect it and be like, I'm not going to drink too much water. And I'm not going to get up much. Yeah. And you know, I'll say this. If you're sleeping, mount me. Climb over me. I don't care. Yes.

I've done that. I've done the mount. However, then I have to do what you hate. Because when you mount somebody, you have to use the seat above. You got to mount. Yeah, you got to, you need the support. But it's always awkward when they wake up right when you're face to face. Yeah.

That's weird. Yeah, yeah. I just need to mention one of the thing. You just pulled up the Deli Boy season two. The cover has Fred Armisen. Oh. And I don't know Fred at all. We're not friends, but I see him regularly at events.

And he'll always say hello. He's very nice. Fred's one of those people that is such a sleeper. where do you know him? No, no, Madam actually. I like the show. When you first meet him, you think, oh, he's not at all what he is on TV

because he's fucking hilarious. And he just seems like a really quiet, boring guy for 10 seconds. Then he'll do what you mentioned, Amos Derriss does, which is she'll burn you without you to notice. And you'll be just having a conversation, then he'll drop something again.

You're like, you funny fucker. Like, where do? And it's insane. It came out of nowhere. I love that. But again, it's been like 10 times that I've seen him, and we just did a press store together. And every time I see him, I just think,

oh yeah, I forgot. You're like, you're not Fred from SNL. But a few seconds in, you'll drop something fucking crazy. Like, oh, yeah, you are hilarious. You're just a lot more chill in real life. He's so insanely funny. Some people just have that where they're not fighting for a joke. And it's got nothing to do with what you're talking about.

They'll just drop in something funny that you just think you think, You think like a, it's almost as if you're on the spectrum because no regular person would think that. I like that. And that's why it's so funny. All right. An honorable gays. Okay.

Can I tell you about honorable gays real quick? Please. Okay. You look like Michael Imperioli a little in that shot. A little bit, right? Sopranos. Do you know what I've never seen soprano? Whoa.

I've never seen the godfather. Dude. I've never seen any yet. Supranos is a must watch. Yeah. Yes. Funny you should have to know. So, Honorable Gaze, I do a show.

I do a show, actually, yeah, you're not wrong, you're not wrong. I do a show with two Instagram comics, but they're also now touring comics. Eric Zedanyo and Rob Anderson. I pose a question from Reddit, which is, do you know what, Am I the Arsole is on Reddit? It's where, let's say, for example, you've had a situation between you and you don't quite know if you've been the dick or he's the dick, but you've had a fallout. So you tell the internet. You tell Reddit, this is a situation, and then you always ask at the end, so am I the asking? Oh, I like that.

Are you like a mediator here? Yeah. So I'm the judge of this. And so we have the stories. We animate it, which I think is so funny. The animation's hilarious. So the story comes to life. And then I decide once the other two have fought both sides of which they think is the right party, which one they think it's the wrong party.

And I decide who is actually in the wrong. It's so funny. It's only 15 minutes. and they're five minutes each story and I think that it's great concept because we need that in the world you know when you get the guy on the subway blaring music and you go hey can you turn it down

and he goes fuck you it's a free country you're like wait how did I become the bad guy? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you need that guy to step in and say something yeah and it's the most me and so I think everyone's going to think I'm a really harsh person once they've seen this show but I just think no I'm just a real person on TV I've been forced to try to pretend that I'm just like always nice

Right. That's just the whole queer eye brand. I'm just, I've never gotten a real opinion on anything on this. I'm like, no, you're a con. Why would you do that? There you go. All right. Is that online?

It's online. It's on YouTube. There's four episodes out. We've got another four coming in then we start shooting season two. Hell yeah. Love it. Online's the way to go. TV's going under.

TV's dying, man. It's almost over. Yeah. It's so sad. I got, what do I have coming up? Look at this. International, Athens, Budapest. Tickets still available in Budapest.

Holy shit. Zagreb, that's going to be great. Tickets moving there. Vienna, Warsaw, just added a second show in Warsaw, Helsinki, and then Stockholm and Copenhagen. I'll add some more dates, but hopefully our summer is booked with that movie. You're trying to shoot a movie. Can you tell us about the movie you're not sharing yet?

It's just two drinking buddies who have a liquor company, which we do have with bodega cat whiskey, and it's kind of their journey and failure and stuff, but it's fun. It's got hard. It's a really good script, I think. And you two are the leads? Yes. Okay. And we co-wrote it.

It's a joke a minute. It's funny. It's kind of a throwback. With two other writers, Esther Steinberg and Norr Garden, Schwarzschild. Are you already in production? We're working on it. We'll see if that things, we kind of need to know a lot this week. It's moving forward for the summer.

It's like your thing. There's a meeting to have a meeting and all that. Did you pitch your any? No, independent financing. So we're not pitching. We're just going to make it. We got the money. It's all about the deals now.

Great. And we don't give a shit about that. just kind of like whatever. We shouldn't be saying this, but like, we don't care. Just fucking make the movie. We're not trying to get rich on this. We just want to... Do either of you do scripted already?

We wrote it. No, no, no, no. Are you already in scripted stuff? Like, have you done a movie? Oh, he has a few. I can't act. I made a movie. But, yeah, it's not asking me out next year.

Wait, quick question. Yeah. You're both in it. And you just said, I can't act. Well, I'm playing me, basically. Dude, we've done script reads with him. He's amazing to this. He's himself.

I don't imagine that that's true. You're on stage and you're acting on stage. I got my, I've honed my character. He's a good actor. If the investors are listening, he's lying. I can act. I'm a great actor. He's a good actor.

All right, I'm in Tempe coming up. That's my boyfriend there leaving. I'm in Roanoke, Michigan's, and Cleveland, Ohio. Keep going. Seattle, Washington, Tampa, Florida. San Francisco, Houston, and Nashville. Houston and Nashville. Holy shit, you do a lot of shows.

Oh, yeah. Going to Canada as well, Calgary, Regina, Minneapolis, Denver. Come on out, Mark.common. Check us out on Punch Up, Get some bodega cat. How many holes in Regina, Mark? There's three holes in a vagina, apparently. I'd like to see that. I'm going to take a look at my wife tonight.

Get down there with a magnifying glass and a ringlight and go to town. And it's sad that a gig I taught us more about the vagina that we know. You're welcome. All right, check out Tan. Thank you, folks. Thank you, Tan. Sunday's a day for my next fender. A bit of peaver wreck, you know the fear choose close.

I've had a little talking shit about the fucking post. And I get down in the same way. Woman doesn't look and I... Hey, y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair.

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