We Might Be Drunk - Thomas Lennon w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

Thomas Lennon joins Mark and Sam for a hilarious deep dive into Hollywood, comedy, and some unbelievable celebrity stories. They talk about visiting Eddie Murphy's house, the origins of Reno 911!, Broadway adaptations, Dennis Rodman, Matthew Perry, Night at the Museum, audition heartbreak, YouTube's takeover of entertainment, and why Bob Fosse somehow becomes the running theme of the entire episode. Sponsored by: Order now at https://drinkwillies.com and use code WMBD for 20% off of your first order + free shipping on orders over $95, and enjoy life in the high country. To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/DRUNK. Text DRUNK to 64000 for 20% off all IQBAR products + FREE shipping Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #ThomasLennon #MarkNormand #SamMorril #Reno911 #NightAtTheMuseum #ComedyPodcast #standupcomedy 00:00 Promoting Projects & Trading Places Musical 03:01 Writing Highlights and Hollywood Connections 10:00 Stories about Eddie Murphy & Hollywood Security 16:00 Comedy Musicals & The State’s Origins 23:00 Stage, SNL, and Broadway Talk 30:00 Classic Comedy Albums & Cult Sketch Shows 35:00 Living in Wisconsin & Life by the Lake 40:00 Rumors, Urban Legends, and Broadway Musings 46:00 Basketball Legends & ’90s Bulls vs Knicks 53:00 Working with Celebrities & TV Auditions 01:00:00 Showbiz Realities: Auditions, Setbacks & Success 01:07:00 Streaming, YouTube vs Netflix, and Comedy Shifts 01:14:00 Career Highlights, Reno 911! & Pitching TV 01:21:00 Residuals, Side Hustles, and Closing Plugs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So you're in town promoting a new David Wayne movie. I was actually in town. I also wrote a musical. Trading Places? I wrote the musical Trading Places. Wow. You're like, you have a sweet writing resume. I do a lot of stuff.

What made you want to... Class, yeah, we took the song by Usher, and we made it into... There you go. Shit. You guys just look at everything as it comes up. Yeah. This is the future, man. I know both those guys.

I actually know all, I know three out of four of those. Which who do you not know? I only one I don't know is Acroyd. What? You know Eddie Murphy? I've been to Eddie's house. Whoa. Oh, we're going?

We're going. Oh, we're going. Oh, we're going. Oh, shit. I didn't know we were going. I would have puffed up my cheeks and stuff. Yeah, I got to go to Andy Murphy's house one time. It was very cool.

What? Do you tell? All right. Oh, what do you want to know? Was it a party? Was it a Thanksgiving? No, no, no. It was just a little quiet hangout.

Just you two? Getting some notes on a script that never happened. Whoa, Norbit 2? Obviously, it was Norbit 2, which did happen. Oh, it did? Didn't it? Really? I was joking.

Isn't Norbert just a spin-off of Nutty Professor? No, no, he's just being big again. How much do I get if I win all the questions? You get a glass of red wine. Oh, wait. How is a picture of Eddie Murphy's house? Oh, there it is in the dock. I've never seen a photograph of it. It's like a resort.

All I know is, it is like a resort. And I think they got, you know, like heating a pool that big? Damn. It's like Epstein without the guilt. This is great. Can you imagine heating a pool that big? I mean, these are Norbert problems I don't know

Okay, that seems like it's right I was not invited to the pool area to like splash around Or anything Ouch I was kind of there working Okay 32, that's very low What was the script you're working on? Can you say?

Yeah, I can say it never happened We were writing A version of the Incredible Shrinking Man For Eddie It was a remake of the old idea for Eddie And the idea was that he was a Vegas. You're not going to cross through frame with this?

Thank you. Your love handles are really killing me. Good Lord, that belt is ruined. It's not the worst wine I've ever smelled, but Joel McHale's wine? Joe McHale brought it. Jill McHale's. Cheers.

That was a wine enthusiast. I didn't know that. Of the highest order. McHale's, yeah. McCale's an expert on wine. You must know that, right? Oh, yeah, he's good. We were working on a...

It's pretty good. If it's from McAle, it's going to be good. I play as well. brother on a show we don't have to plug. The animal control. Correct. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And Mike Rowland's on that show, too.

Yeah, everybody, Mike Rowland's on that. Comedy cell. Very funny, dude. Yeah. Cute kid. He's a very cute kid. He's a real cute kid. Yeah.

We're not going to talk about the big, the man just dressed in my outfit. Well, it's, uh, oh my house. Let's address it. Yeah. Are you flattered? Do you creeped out? What's the feeling? I like it a lot.

I would wear that if you bought me one. So we're out at Eddie's house. We get out to Eddie's house. To get to Eddie's house, for starters, there's a, there's like a gate, like Jurassic Park. Uh-huh. You know, like to keep out of T-Rex or something like that. So we get to the gate and the guy asks you like, he's got his hand on his Glock. Whoa.

The security guy. It's not like lightweight security guys. You know, sometimes there's security guys, like Trader Joe's security or something is like not a big deal. Sure. When you go to, how were these pictures existing? When you go to Eddie's house, there's a... It's Google Maps. The guys already have their hands.

on the weapon. Damn. And they're like, what are you doing here? And you say, like, oh, I'm going to see Eddie Murphy. They're like, why? Whoa.

Yeah. Like, we're working on... Yeah, I'm not in a book or something? We're working on a... We're working on a version of the Incredible Shrinking Man for him. And they're like, do you think that's a good idea? Yeah. Hand on a gun.

We're like, yeah. We're like, he's like a Vegas magician. It's like David Blaine. So everybody thinks he's doing it as a bit. But it turns out he's been like cursed by a real magician. They're like, Okay. If you think that works, we'll let you end it. You've got to pitch the security.

This is intense, yes. Whoa. No, they did ask what was our business with Mr. Murphy. Damn. Good for them. And then you get to Eddie's house, and then there's another gate the size of Jurassic Park. Wow. And that one just kind of opens. I don't know how that one opens. And then there's another armed guy, I think. He's Tony Montana. What a fucking line.

The third boss, if you're playing like, if it's like final bosses of going into Eddie's house. Jesus. Is Arsenio Hall. As the Jewish guy, coming to America. No way Arsenio Hall's hanging out at Eddie's house. Is he? 100% yes. Whoa.

Third boss we meet right before Eddie was Arsenio Hall. They did it. It's sexual chocolate. Remember that church group in trading places? Is that what it's called? That's in actually, although... Coming to America. Coming to America, although it has two characters from trading places.

The Duke brothers reappear. Oh, Mortimer. That's right. And Randolph show up again. That's funny. As hobos, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And Eddie gives them like a pile of riches. Yes, in a McDonald's bag. We're back. Yeah, a nice little callback in a movie, which is you don't see anymore. Can you think of one other movie callback to a completely different franchise where they reference a completely different movie where a character appears? You got one? I think in a 48 out, no, Beverly Hills. Cop?

Cop. Not ninja. They do a shot of him walking by in a leather, a guy walking by in a leather suit, and Eddie goes... He laughs at them walking down the sidewalk, and I think it's a callback to his special. Yeah, that's a great reference. I would not have gotten that.

So it seems like most of the references are Eddie references. Eddie's referencing other Eddie movies. Well, we couldn't get Eddie, so we got to talk about it. I forgot there's a guy in a delirious jumpsuit. Come on. What's the vibe with Eddie when you're having it? cool. It was very cool. There it is.

Oh, yeah. So he's laughing. Look at this. Look at these. He's making fun of himself. Is that not a white dude in the... It is. Maybe that's why he's laughing. That's the fun joke of it. Oh. Oh, it's slightly homophobic.

You think that's homophobic? Do not put on his old stand-up. Because that will fucking... Holy shit. Very cool I met. So you meet Eddie, and he comes out and he was very cool. Yeah. And I said, it's an honor. You know, I said like the way you would meet royalty.

And Eddie went like, mm-hmm. Correct. Like, you didn't say correct, but the vibe was like, that's the perfect thing to say to me. We went to the Netflix brunch and he was there and he like levitated in. And the whole, you know, it's Sandler, Letterman, Seinfeld, all these guys, Chappelle. I saw the photo. Yeah. Were you there? No, I was not at that one.

All right. It's interesting because there's old Jew. This is track listings for Deliator. Is that the delirious? Yeah. Damn. I don't remember that. I don't remember these by the titles.

I don't either. The titles don't. There's no F-bomb track. The titles don't remind me of the bits as much as you would think. Yeah. Because I know all the bits. I remember hearing this, I mean, I remember consuming stand-up as just like audio as a kid. And it was like kind of more intimate, kind of cool.

It's better. I think it's better. There's a couple records I can do probably the whole record. Oh, yeah. I mean, listen to Skanks for the Memories as a kid and being like, This is the greatest thing I've ever heard. It's incredible. I can do almost all of the best of Bob Newhart if I probably do.

Driving instructor. I try to get through a Cosby. I fell asleep. I can do Cosby's driving in San Francisco. Oh, yeah, the wine. Somebody put a stop sign at the top of the hill of it. To put the street in San Francisco called Lombard Street. And somebody put it at a stop sign.

He said over the binoculars. We got another one. Wow. That was a great cause. So if you know one thing about me, I think, is that my Cosby's none, there is no equal. Just the later work.

Yeah. Yeah, I can do most of Bob New, the best of Bob Newhart. Hit me. I mean, you know, you do Abe Lincoln versus Madison Avenue, but it's, Abe, you changed Force Guard and seven years ago to 87?

No, no, Abe, see, I understand that they mean the same thing, but... Oh, wow. We're going to get Bob up here. If it ever comes up, Abe, you were a rail splitter and then an attorney. You see, nobody quits, nobody quits being an attorney to become a rail splitter, Abe. Whoa. I think that won an Emmy, that album.

I've lost three Emmys, guys. Or a Grammy. What happened? I don't know. Estate? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What are they for? When Reno and I'm Allon started getting shorter, we got into a new category, which was, like,

short form Emmy. We never really got nominated in the normals. You know, in the normals. Sure, sure. It was a common central. As soon as we dropped weight, we dropped a ton of weight, and we got into short form. How long? What's the minimum, or maximum rather?

I think a short form has to be like under 12 minutes or something. Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay, so. If you're ever looking to try to get an Emmy, go short form. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little secret. It's the same size Emmy if you get it. Can we talk about the state? I used to watch that in high school. Yeah. That's a crazy group of talented people. Crazy group.

Interesting cats. How'd that start? How'd you get it on MTV? That was interesting. So should I do a plug for the picture here and then we don't have to plug it again? Yeah, here it is right. We're doing... David Wayne's got a... Ken Marino and David Wayne have a picture coming out called Gail Daughtry and the celebrity sex pass.

Check it out. Check it out. Is that right? It's fine by me. Do we just hang out while the trailer plays? It's actually short. She's great. She's great. That's Carrie Kenning. Oh, okay. Carrie and I went to theater. Can we talk over this as a place? Please. Please talk about.

Yeah, mute it. Carrie Kenny and I went to theater camp. We met. We were 16 years old. So I've known Carrie since 1986, 87. Wow. Yeah. And we've worked basically together almost, you know, not everyday sense, but as close to everyday sense as you could really do. Because then we did, so we went to NYU. We did, we were just a regular comedy group called The New Group. And we actually got founded because the guy who started our group had been kicked out of different comedy group.

And NYU called a sterile yak. Todd, who's in the front of that picture there, he founded the state. And then we were called the new group. And we were, you know. That's a lot of guys. Way too many. Way too many. There's 11 members of the state.

Whoa. Where's Showalter? Oh, there is a hat. He's there, backwards hat, looking. Look how angry we all look. I know. What's the 90s? It was grunge. Well, we're also pretty angry.

Man, that guy. Look how angry Joe looks in the front. We looked just pissed off. Joe's in a ton of movies. And I would say that we were, weirdly, we were a sort of an, we're not angry people, but I think we viewed ourselves as some sort of, yeah, I think we viewed ourselves as like a sort of a punk band or something. You know, we felt like we were reacting to. sort of what we thought was sort of mainstream

sketch that we... What did you look at the other like, I don't want to be? We didn't want to be SNL. Right. That era, for sure. We wanted to not be that. In fact, we'd rather... I think the reason, you know, the work holds up

because we... Instead of doing... If we ever did something that felt like it was covered before, we just wouldn't do it. Nice. So we just ended up doing... But that's why a lot of the stuff is pretty absurd stuff that we were doing, you know?

But the 90s had a run of this. It was like this. Kids in the Hall, Mr. Show. It was kind of that a... Ben Stiller Show for a second. Ben Stiller Show, in living color to an extent. Stiller Show also hit some amazing... If you ever seen Stiller's true stories

about Bruce Springsteen? No. It's a fucking great sketch from the Ben Stiller Show. It's always, you know, you hear stories about Springsteen. Springsteen showed up. He played for four hours. He recobled my shoes.

Like, the stories just keep getting more amazing. Like, he burst through the wall, like the Kool-Aid man. It was a great recurring character. Yeah, no, I'd say actually, weirdly, those four shows in particular are sort of of a piece. You know, I mean, I feel like

there's a lot of overlap and sensibility. I know between Bob and David and, you know, we're friends with all the kids in the hall at this point in our life. Nice. I played Dave Foley. And Kevin from Kids in the Hall has a musical about his life.

I got to play Dave Foley Kevin McDonald Yeah Because Dave Foley passed So he did Yeah he didn't want to do it And then he died No no no no no he passed on the project

Once you see the project You're like oh I know why Foley passed He wouldn't play this version of Dave Foley But I was like yeah I'll play that version of Dave Foley Fuck it Yeah Did you ever go out for SNO or no I did not no

No I never did Did any party of you want it Or you always like fuck that That would probably loved it But it just never came up. I met Lorne Michaels one time at like the Village Gate. I've seen some other sketch show. But, oh, we were seeing, I think, a group called Live on tape.

But, no, I never went up. I don't know if I would have made it. I've never, I don't have a ton of great impressions other than my impeccable Bill Cosby. Cosby and Newhart. Which. Oh, that's a Newhart impression. I can just recite it. Uh-huh.

But I've never, I don't know how I would have done. done at an SNL audition, you know? Yeah. I think you'd nail it. You're a funny guy. That's not always the full criteria. You play a good gay guy? I do, I guess.

You get cast as a gay guy a lot. I know, that comes up a lot. How do you feel about that? It's fine by me. I mean, I just seem, you know, I'm not, I've always been a sort of Bob Fossey enthusiast. I can see that, a little Fossy in there, yeah.

A little Fossy. He's straight. I happen to, Bob was straight, too. Yeah. Yeah, he just sort of seems like me. You know, there's a lot of that. Yeah, but it's like. It's like drama straight.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Drama straight. I'm theater school. I mean, the whole opening to all that jazz is just all the women he's banging. That's like a five-minute montage of like, let's get out of here. That is the crazy thing about all that jazz. Yeah. Great movie.

Oh, yeah. Maybe the best. Maybe the best ending to a movie ever. Yeah. Crazy. Good opening, too, with the pills. Great opening. Yeah.

Showtime. When has anybody else made a movie where they're so honest, like, he's right, he's telling you the story of how. Dave Foley wouldn't have played that version of how. He's going to die. I know. Yeah. By the way, Michael Jackson stole everything from Fawsey.

Pull up some of Fossey's moves. I just saw that exact. And you know what? Black people stole from Elvis. I saw that exact. No, I'm serious. And it is weird. It is Bob Fawsey

in a very specific movie. Oh, it's the movie of the Little Prince. Uh-huh. Oh, there it is. You got it. Look at it. This is Fossi. That's Fossi doing Little Prince stuff.

Come on. This is ripping. He's ripping. Fawsey completely. I do feel like the type of straight you are, though. I'm not here when this goes viral for you saying. I'm calling it. But look at that.

You're calling it. He also does flash a lady, which is also pretty weird there. All right, that's kind of Michael, too. Look at Fawcy. I mean, that is... Maybe I am gay, man. This looks really cool. The type of street you are gets a lot of women, I think.

Don't you think? Oh, yeah. Probably. Sure. Because there's like a safety thing. I think that you disarm them with your... Back in the era. Yeah.

I don't know. We'll never know. I mean, that's crazy. That is crazy. And I'm not the only guy saying it. Is this the first time people talk about, there's a lot of New York Knicks gear on the show today? They're in the playoffs. And we're talking Bob Fossey. We get a lot of range, dude.

I can talk Bob Fossey with you guys all day longer. Now are we saying Beyonce stole from Bob Fossi? Because I do not want to, oh, no, that's different. That's very different. Oh, no, it is not very. No. Mexican breakfast. We're men of many interests, but I got to ask a question. But mostly Bob Fawsey.

We love Fossy. Yeah. Fuzzy Bear. His birthday is June 23rd's day as my son. That's the way I know. Well, so I know you're buddies with Nick Swartson, so I text him right before, and I said, what do I ask him? And he said to ask, what's it like going in character to Comic Con? Whoa.

It's an interesting thing. So my feeling, yeah. You're going as Dangle. I do them, Swartson and I do them together sometimes. Wow. Now, he doesn't put on the Tariquah shorts and stuff. but here's my thing my thing is I don't do stuff

I don't really do anything oh go to the Reddit one go to the Reddit one I can't you can't Reddit won't allow you sign in and everyone will know my name that oh okay but so

I don't do anything halfway you know I don't do it I do it look at that and if you're going to a fan convention be the impulse buy you know you want to be that pointless candy that they get at the front

you know the Virgin is about to go on nothing when they saw you. Or are you aged out? Who's that? Like the guys at Comic-Cow, when they saw the real dangle. It does, it does a certain effect. I get touched by a lot, like a lot of

old ladies. Oh. No, no, no, no. A lot of older ladies want to just kind of feel around a little bit. Oh, yeah. They want to let their hands do the talking. There we are. Look, they're sure. Hey, you're low-key fit. Like, look at that. Oh, yeah. You kind of have to be to pull that outfit off. Sorry, Peters. But I think

you look great. Also, by the way, you look great. It's like 105 degrees outside New York City today. It is. Did you wear it on the train here? Sure. Oh, you're amazing. You want to go goof around later and I'll just go with you? Oh, that would be amazing.

Do you meet, we go down to the West Village, you ain't never painted for a drink. You're just talking Bob Fossey? Red wine. We're having some red wine. Look, like a Park Ranger. Bob Fossy stuff. So are those, I mean, the lines must be crazy at those places. It depends.

I'll tell you, if you ever have a slow moment at a convention, it's the best. It is truly the long, dark tea time of the soul. When you, like, have a minute to just think to yourself. And you're standing in go-go shorts. Oh, yeah. You know, and you're next to Danny Trejo. And you're like, hey, Trejo. And he's like, hey, Thomas!

Do you? Do we, is this, how do we end up? You're in the good section if you're with Trejo. I'm all, I spend more time with Trejo at this point in my life that I maybe would have expected. Do you throw a sock in there or is that all natural? It's mostly natural. Most of me. Well, no, I will say what I do is I do double underwear.

It's smart. I wear two sets of underwear, and I just, I realize that at some point. Like, if you're in that level of small thing, just do double underwear. And you don't want a ball hanging, you know? That and there's a lot of just touchy stuff. Also, what if you dribble or so? I don't know. You're just like, what double bridges.

I get it. Has been a new thing that I learned at the conventions, and I'm pretty happy about it. Here, here. That pose is unbelievable. That's perfect. That's what you want out of a picture. I was walking, so I'm walking out of a convention early in the morning. It's, you know, 10 o'clock in the morning, and a rascal scooter comes by, and it's William Shatner.

Whoa! Shatner's at the convention's a lot, and he's coming by, and this felt really good. Shatner's zipping by me on the rascal scooter, and he goes, great legs. I was like, fuck yeah, that was cool. That's impression three, by the way. You're cooking. Let's get Lauren Michaels on the horn. Were you big stuff?

Star Trek guy? No. Me neither, but Shadner still has this like gravity to him. When I see one of those, I'm like oh yeah, this is great. I think he's 100. He's super old. No, he's 96. Whoa. I think he's 96 years ago. That is great. And still with just went to space. He looks great.

95, sorry. 95? Wait. March 22nd, 1931 until now. So that's his birthday is in like, you know, two days. March. Shit. That's, I don't know where we are. What day is?

We are. When is this coming out this year? I'm sorry. Are we in 26 or? Yeah. Peter's body is throwing me. Can I go back to Trading Places for a sec? I mean, what made you? I love the movie, obviously.

I mean, that was a huge. Getting in Eddie Murphy as a child was like, that was like incredible because you get so many in a row. Yes. But Trading Places. You know, I was talking about this the other day. We're doing a musical of Trading Places. It's been a lot of fun.

But when Trading Places came out and Trading Places in Beverly Hills got this run of Eddie Murphy movies. 48 hours. Not only is there no one in the world that famous right now. I don't know if there ever will be. I want 48 hours of musicals. All those slurs, a lot of rhymes. But like the amount of famous that Eddie was then, is that achievable? No.

Now? Now, I don't know if it is. No, it's too spread out. When there was four TV stations. And everybody saw the movie. Everybody saw every movie. We were more connected. Now it's like, it's cool.

there's more of a middle class of entertainment. True. Did we see Delirious on, like, HBO? Oh, no, we rented the VHS. Wow. We rented it because it was pretty dirty. You got that right. You even think about movie stars now.

What a beautiful girl like you doing in the island's crying boot. That's number four. So what a beautiful girl. You know, your girl goes to the island's a guy swinging his dick. Yeah. What a beautiful girl like you doing in the island crying boot? I do it without a girl. throws his dick over his shoulder.

Is that your owner? Is that the boat? Dadega guy? No, that's Eddie. Oh, that's Eddie. Is that delirious or is that? That might be... Oh, I don't remember that bit.

That's raw. That's blacked out raw. It's when your girl... Raw is great, too. Yeah, your girl goes to... It's got great moments. The rocky bit is so fucking. That's it.

Your girl goes to Jamaica or someplace, and she meets an island guy. Yeah, it's a great bit. Great bit. And he walks up with his dick swinging in the breeze. So you're a big bit. Are you just watching trading places? Like, I can make the... Like, how does that come together?

The way that worked is the guy who, the producer of that is the guy who used to own final draft, the screenwriting software. I know it's a weird, boring story, but he thought it would make his great musical. Yeah. And now we've been working on it for like seven or eight years. Musicals take a real long time. Just ask our friend Bob Fawsey. But boy, they take

a fuck long time to get a musical going. Really? I thought movies were slow? No. Broadway musicals were very, like it's like being a passenger on an aircraft carrier that's like making a real slow left turn for like miles. So like Book of Mormon, Hamilton, all that took forever to make. Oh, yeah. Some of those, you know, I don't know how long. I know they took a while. And usually like you sort of stand them up.

Like we actually, trading places ran in Atlanta. Oh. Yeah. And then we did a huge rewrite after that and now it's completely different. So it's all happening again. But, um, uh, did you want to do. Blue Moon. Oh, here it goes. Getting older means realizing that the hangover starts before you even go out.

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turn for details oh his name's Dexter Saint Jacques mm-hmm what a beautiful girl like you mm-hmm Bahamas yeah mm-hmm yeah what you cry like you like a princess constantly if you use my You got to be really good at stand-up to rock that outfit. Of course. That is actually... If you bomb that outfit?

I would argue this outfit's better than the red jumpsuit, I think. How you like the purple and black? It's a little... I don't know, it's a little more... Subtle? Yeah. I mean, it's still... It's a purple paisley jumpsuit.

Yeah. Oh, look. People debate which ones... I think the red was sexier. I like the raw outfit. The red was a little more... It's also fitted kind of better. Oh.

But his ass. I like the scarf a lot. The ass in the red though. Yeah, but look at that the scarf hanging with the purple outfit. Come on. Yeah, all right, I do like the scarf. And he's wearing driving gloves. It's fucking badass.

Is he wearing driving gloves in? Yeah, he's got... No, yeah, in Raw. He's got... Wow. You ever heard that old story where the Eddie Murphy's on an elevator with like six of his bouncer, giant black dudes? That is apocryphal. There's no way that story is true.

Well, I've just told the story. I've heard it my entire life. What, what was to tell him? All right. Tell it. Tell it. All right. So he's on the elevator with like, he's like in some L.A. high rise going up to see his agent or whatever, one of these big old skies grapers. And he's in there with six giant black ducas.

They're all wearing black trench coats. And a blonde lady just happens to get in on like the sixth floor. They're going up to the 30th floor. And she's like, oh, geez, what the fuck did I walk into? And then she's just standing there. And they're all surrounding her. And she goes, get her. And she goes, oh my God.

And she hits the floor. She's like, please don't rape me. Don't hurt me. And they all start laughing. Okay. Here's the original version of that apocryphal story. Okay. That I've heard is that it's in a casino, and it's Eddie Murphy and a bunch of, like, his bodyguards.

Uh-huh. And the lady gets in, and she's just won a bunch of stuff. She's won a bunch of chips. Oh, wow. And she's going up to the room, and she gets in the elevator, and he says, hit the floor. And she drops her chips and falls down on the ground. And he said, hit the button of the floor that you want to go to. That was the original version of the Eddie Murphy's story.

That makes more sense. Which makes a little more sense. A misunderstanding over a gang race. I think that's a team of telephone. It's a game of telephone. But I believe even the slightly more polished version is still not true. Oh, really? Do we think that there's no...

That's like the Phil Collins in the air tonight. Yeah. Wait, what's that one? Oh, you don't know this one. That's in Eminem even talks about it. Pull it up. You know Phil Collins in the air tonight? I know the song.

You know the... Okay. The woman was drowning and he saw a guy... And then Phil put the spotlight on the guy and the audience at a show. Because he didn't say her. one? No, no. Do tell. And like that's how you confront him instead of just calling the police? Wouldn't that? But that's where it doesn't, that's where it falls apart. Oh, he's drowning a woman? No. Or is it also a gang rape?

This woman's being raped at sea. Okay. Now we're getting somewhere. And Richard Geer is the only person who saw. And then a terrible comes out. He saw it too. No, there used to be, we used to have like great stories like, you know, we used to have like apocryphal stories that we all knew. Well, there was no internet. You couldn't look it up. Yeah, you just had to hear. about someone blowing a whole soccer team

or something like that now it's a meme now it's like have you seen this meme yeah exactly it's not the same it's not the same as spoken as our beautiful spoken memories like rock star blows a whole soccer team right guy has gerbil in his ass we used to have beautiful stories we told each other

what about the Dave Thomas how sick of that story do you tell each other such fucked up stories it's fun it was fun it was fun That's it's a storytelling. How much do you think, Richard Here, get asked that to his face? Somebody started both of those stories. You better believe it. Like, who's the person out there in the world that was like, wait, I got one.

I got one. If you can write Harry Potter, you can write that. What? You think it was her? I've never heard the Dave Thomas. She got Dumbledore in the gerbil? What's the Dave Thomas? I don't know.

I can't find that. Was it Dave Thomas? Maybe it wasn't Dave Thomas. It was somebody where he would shit on a glass coffee table and he would lay under the, somebody would shit on the coffee table and he had got off on that. Not the Wendy's. That's an expensive fetish. Yeah.

You gotta keep replacing coffee tables? Eh, you clean it. No. What was the guy? I don't think it was. It can't have been the little guy from Wendy's, was it? Glass coffee table. I forgot the guy's name.

Danny Thomas. Danny Thomas. He's like a Broadway guy. Marlowe Thomas's father. I'm not going to get anywhere into this story. There he is. There is no way this story is true. I'm not affiliated with it.

I don't know. I'm not affiliated with the story on the show. They say Charles Lawden ate poop sandwiches. Oh. That was like a thing he was into. Really? Great actor, by the way. Witness for the prosecution.

Check that one out. Captain Bly? Yeah. He's full of shit. That's what they say. Because it's like a weird fetish. I don't know. It's hard to find the internet.

I have a friend who swears by it. Poop or nickel? Well, but... It's on there, Charles Lawden? I'm getting there. We got on, right? One day we're going to be dead and somebody would be able to Google us with shit sandwich. they'll be like, no, it's totally true.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He used to squeeze his balls. He'd find a book and squeeze his balls in it, and then he'd let the elevator door take it up. Like, there's going to be... Yeah, but it's funny when it's like a classy actor like Charles Lawyer. Right. Oh, there he is.

It did say it's in the story or somewhere. Well, you know... Oh, I heard the control F that shit. Come on and I'd love to eat poop sandwiches. Ah! Yeah, no. He was disappointed by the commercial failure of Night of the Hunter, and you decide to eat poop.

It all adds up, guys. Night of the Hunter is a great picture. That's a great movie. Oh, we've got to get it in 900. It's the first ever appearance of the love, hate, yes, right? Robert Mitchum, dude. I think he was a closet or homosexual,

and that sounds like a nasty rumor you would make about a closet of a thing. That makes sense. Damn, so I'm part of the problem. Why is that the natural extrapolation of that? That feels weird. You'll play him in a movie. Yeah.

I don't know. What is it saying the same thing about Danny Thomas? Is that what we're saying? Let's get to the Thomas. Is that why we're starting terrible rumors? The HADD in this room is out of control. Guys, by the way, I just looked at Danny Thomas's real name and I thought I had a stroke. Can you go down to Danny Thomas's real name?

Oh, one thing at a time. Just go down. Oh, wow. That's a lot. Whoa, Amos, Musiad, Yakooka, Carousy. I always get these letters at Scrabble and I could never make anything out of it. I didn't know I could have made that with it. That feels like a terrorist.

That's a fucking name. That is some Ellis Island shit. What's your name? Let's go with Danny Thomas. Danny Thomas. Abu, Guzou, Yacoub, Koub. Corrus is dead. Died like a dog.

Which, by the way, that's not how dogs die. Dogs get euthanized and get put down. Right, right. They'll get just bombed to death. This is not true. We're just doing this. There was no known public scandal. How do you know? People do things.

To the word poop. Oh, no. Who paid for this? So I guess if you throw money out of it, you don't have to. All right. See, he controls his own Wikipedia, clearly. You can't put stuff in your Wikipedia again When is trading place is going to be a thing you think?

Like when do you think it's going to actually preview? What we just did was the like the staged reading. Broadway's the whole thing. There's like 40 theaters, but they're only owned by like three organizations. So, you know, the mafia is five. Wow. But Broadway's three.

Damn. There's just not that many, yeah. Titanic is killing it. I hear it's great. I hear it's really good. It seems fun. My wife loved it. I saw, did you see, I saw Operation Mincemeat?

No. The best musicals I've ever seen. Pull it up. Pull it up. Never heard of this. It's a gay code. Straight up the street. It's like,

we gotta go. A lot of things. I heard the new death of a salesman is unreal. Oh, really? I hear it's unreal. It's a classic. Lost Boys is one of the coolest things I've ever seen. I've heard that's amazing too.

One of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life. That show, Mince Mina just said the other day, it's incredible. But Lost Boys. Tony Winning. Do you think they fly around in Lost Boys? I would hope so. They do. Whoa.

Do they fly around so unbelievable how much they fly around in Lost Boys? You'll feel like you're hallucinating. I took my niece to Book of Mormon a couple months ago. She's 13. I don't know how. How do you feel about it? I think it's great. I love it.

I love it. I wonder how much she got. As I'm watching it, I'm like, does a 13-year-old, she's super smart, but does a 13-year-old fully get this? My wife's very Baptist parents to Book of Mormon, and I was a little worried about how it was going to go. and you're like right when you get to Hasadiga Iba wine Yes

I was like I was this gonna go Bang That was tight That was good That was tight That is the greatest song though I mean that's incredible Yeah

No knock on Lost Boys I like to film But how do they decide to make this a music What goes through the The channels and the grinder to go ahead You're gonna love it Especially if you're on Grindr Because there's some sexy dudes

But you know what I mean There's a billion movies from 30 years ago. How do they decide that one will make money on Broadway? You're going to like it. I'm going to ask you how they get that to... Everybody's flying around and the shirts are kind of a little bit oily. I don't know. I don't know.

That's true. Red one. You're a cultured straight. That's what it is. A cultured straight. That mustache smells a little gay. But I think that's a good thing. Yeah, very.

Because what are we talking about? Great old rumors about people. Well, you live in Wisconsin. I live... We mostly live in Wisconsin. We still have a house in Los Angeles that we go to sometimes. But for quality of life, knock on, I haven't seen it. We're part of Wisconsin.

We live at a place called Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Very nice. 90 minutes from Chicago. Oh, wow. It's a sweet little spot. And, you know, people rag on it as the, it's the place that Chicago people go in Wisconsin. Right. But that's me, too.

I'm a Chicago person. That's where I go. I love Chicago. Yeah. Cross the lake for me is the Rigglies. You've got people like that. But you get... Oh, the gum fortune?

Yep. Whoa. They used to own the Cubs for a long time. Yep. Look at that. But you get two months out of the year out of this with the console? No, no, we actually do there a lot. It's beautiful.

But you got to, if you're going to go there, that's, that house is called... It's Eddie Murphy's. That's a bigger. That's called Stone Manor. Oh, on the roof there. Yeah, it's cool place. It looks a lot like, yeah, that's down the lake from me. Wow.

Yeah. Of all the places. What are you, Chicago guys? I'm a Chicago guy. There we go. So we grew up Chicago, and then I, this is the lake I grew up to going to as a kid. That's a Stone Manor. Oh.

A big old spooky house. It's probably the spookiest house on the lake. Beautiful. There's stuff that's less spooky. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you can go to Lake and even see more. You picked the one really spooky-looking house. It's pretty.

It's really pretty. That's a boat called the Lady of the Lake. It drives your name. Yeah, it's a sweet little spot. Yeah. We actually love being there in the winter, but you just have to be. The lake freezes, and you've got to be okay with the idea that, you know, for a couple weeks at a time, it'll be like 15 below. For a couple of weeks.

That's crazy. That's when you go to LA. I like it. Oh, really? I like it. You like the cold? Yeah, I get some writing down. I'm not, see, I'm not against me either.

I'm okay with the winter. I like it. Yeah, but 15 below is tough. Yeah. But I get a good, I love to stare out of window, you know? Sure. And get, you know, I get a little sad. You know, I like the Smiths and stuff.

Yeah, same. I'm a good window stareer. I think about, you know, the way things with... How are you... Did you see that Morrissey's hosting the final act of the CBGB's Fest? CBGB is having one show. And he's doing... Is he doing 20 minutes of stand-up?

And he's doing... And I'm going to tell you some another thing about... About the dog meat festivals. Wow, that's number five. Hey, you're all wrong, Lenin. None of which would get me on Saturday's night. You know the famous Morrissey story. You see poop?

There's a lot of famous Morris and free. Well, apparently he's very horrible to work with. There's that story where... I don't know that. Hold on. He said trying to extricate himself from this part of the conversation. I've never heard that specifically. He said, and then he leaned back in the car.

He kind of moved the microphone away a little. It's all me again. Not Tom. I don't know anything about this. So there's that old story where he's on the tour bus. They're pulled up to somewhere out of Detroit. Big theater says Morrissey on it. They took one S out.

They misspelled it, and he said, keep on driving. Sold out, line around the corner, they drove by in the bus. One S was off, and he said, fuck it, keep driving. My own agent misspells my name. Yeah, me too. They call me Mike. There's two fucking S's, baby. Yeah.

No, two R's, two S's. I feel like that's justified, though, a little bit. Well, come on, like, guys, pay attention to the details. Sure. If they fucked up the marquee, what's it going to be like back? Yeah. Could be bad. All right, we get it.

You know, like, Morrissey. You're a window stair. I'm going to defend him on a lot. lot of weird stuff. What else you got for Borisi? I know, no, no, I don't I've met him twice and he was absolutely couldn't have been nicer now. Okay. Again, I don't know if this is true. Couldn't have been nicer to me. No, we

have some areas where we will not delve into. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You trash a Nick, I'm like, I can't. Not going to trash the Nicks, even though I'm from Chicago, and it was kind of fun for me, because I lived in New York from the late 80s through all of the 90s, and I just want to thank the Nicks

fans, specifically Ken Marino. He's got picture coming out called Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. Funny guy. I love Ken Marino. But we got to get it. We tell him to come on here. We're fans. One thing that was really great is being a Chicago person and a Bulls fan during that era during the 90s in New York is it was like my second job.

Because Ken Marino would always, always bet on the Knicks no matter what. Like it didn't matter. Like, you know, you guys had Starks and you had everybody. I used to do a John Stark's impression. Number six. When I was this shopping bag grocery rooms, I was the best, I decided I would be the best shopping bagger that it ever was. It's too high.

He's too high. Full up Stark. I got to hear Stark's now. He's lower. He's lower. He's lower than this. I don't think so. This is a pretty perfect, John Stark's impression.

Okay, let's hear about John Stark. Okay. Okay. Your money back. You might be right about the SNL on this. Lord Michaels, why is he closed? with Starks what the hell is this? I'm gonna do a quick little John Stark.

Starks, Morrissey, we gotta update these. It's deeper. I think he's doing it wrong now. Well, he's fucking not as good at it as he used to be. He's the nicest dude too, by the way. He's a great and he's a lovely guy. I had a rough one at a gig at MSG once for the NYPD and he, as I'm leaving, he put his arm around me.

He's like, that was fucking hilarious. When Starks does that, you're like, all right, I don't feel that bad. great yeah no question is a happy time for me that's a little higher no question it makes me sad it make me sad like it

guys I'll tell you what at this point of my life I'm not going to put any more work into my John Star I'm calling it I'm considering it perfect I'm going to let it

exist the way it exists for space and time anyway so so it was a great era because you know the feeling is that the Knicks were always with Ewing and everybody going to finally beat the Bulls at some point.

We hope. And guess what happened? You didn't. I remember. So great. 90s Bulls were unstoppable. Well, Jordan would have the flu and he'd score 55. Dang.

It was crazy. He's the goat. I mean, Jordan, Pippen, Rodman, it was unfair. I met Pippin. How was Pippin? You bang his wife? It was great. That great, here's what it is.

And I'm going to go on the record here. Jordan's son. I'm moving the microphone away. Morris. As I talk about my relationship, John's son married her. What? Seven rings.

Is that true? That is, is that? Nover ring. He did. He did. Yeah. I think they got divorced. I thought I heard that too.

I thought I heard that too. Here's what happened. I met Scotty Pevin because we were both in first class on United. Nice. Well, let me clarify. Fine for me. I'm in first class. He's Scotty fucking Pepin.

And he's like 6'8. Shouldn't Scotty be on somewhere anything? nicer than what Lieutenant Dangles on? I think he should be, like I assure you, there's no chance Dangles bumping into Jordan anywhere I go. Right. He's at nicer places than I'm allowed. But Scotty Piven and I are allowed at all the exact same places,

which is a sad sign about the contracts he had to sign. He got fucked over. He got fucked because now he has to live like me, an ordinary millionaire. He's not broke. I mean, he's, but yeah. He got a big deal with the Blazers at the end, but a lot of Jordan's money is from the shoe deal. I mean, that's...

Jordan's basketball was never even... Close. It was a drop in the bucket. Yeah. I mean, he had armor. He had... What was the hot dogs? He had jockey.

Nike. Oh, yeah. He had a restaurant or two. A bunch of steakhouse. A cologne. He had a bunch of steakhouses. What was the fucking hot dog he had? He had a hot dog?

Jordan had a hot dog. Pull it up. Show to me. Hot dog ads. Bam. Michael Jordan's... Ballpark Franks. No way.

They plumbed. when you cook him. Was he Sprite too? Or am I a racist? You are, you definitely did McDonald's. Both could be true. That's true. That's good point. The fact that you probably are a racist. That's good point. They pump when you cook them, Michael Jordan.

Ballpark Franks would get a little excited when you cook them. Did he do milk as well or my gay? Yes and yes. Both could be true. Both could be true. Thank you. They're not I've got to thank Joel McHell for this wine,

by the way. Oh yeah. This is good one. It's actually true. This is McHale? Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't fuck around at all. Yeah. He called us out, I think.

We had like a shitty selection. And since then we've upped our game. That's true. Did he send you this? No, you got Ewing. Oh, God. I love Ewing jersey. I love Ewing.

You know what? That's the thing, too. It's not all about winning. Like, it's all... It better not be. No, but as a kid, there's value in loving a thing that doesn't work out.

That's true. There was the 90s next. Oh, by the 90s next. Well, here's the thing about them. They were a magnificent team. They were awesome. But then there had to be something that could come along to be the foil of a team that amazing. Jordan was, it just was unfortunate to be going against the greatest ever.

I mean, Barclay missed out, Stockton, Malone, all these great players missed out. Malone did not miss out on impregnating a 12-year-old, but he missed out on a championship. Was that right? Yeah. Wow. I got to hang out with Rodman recently. You did? Yeah.

Whoa. First class, United? No, Coach on United. Plus. I was actually just sitting on a Carmen Electra's lap How was Rodman? If you go to maybe who posted it, maybe Weird Al, there's a picture of me, Weird Al, Rodman, Jared Pellecky, and Jennifer Gray.

That's a fever dream. It should be. And Richard Gears Hamster. Obviously not pictured, but there. It was, but Rodman, it's hard to put into, there's a photo somewhere. It'll turn up. Images. Boom, no.

There's you and Weird Al. No, no. There's Patten Oswald. Patten? No, no. It'll be, it's probably on Al's, I don't know where it was. Somebody's Instagram. Private Instagram. But, oh, that's Lake Geneva again. There's me and Al on my boat. Whoa. He's weird Al the man. He's the man.

I met him once. He's probably the nicest guy ever met. Sweet guy. We zinged him because I did Opie and Anthony with him. And everybody zing to me. He's like, what are you doing guys? Why are you so mean? Why are you so mean? We're like, oh, you're like a nice normal guy. We're animals. Yeah. Every other word. word on that show was, ugh. I know.

He was like, what do you guys so mean for? Rodman's interesting, because, like, you know, he's 6'7. Six, seven? And he still acts exactly kind of like the Rodman you're thinking about. Yeah. He has not, like, he hasn't, like,

mellowed. I like that. A lot. Well, he's hanging out with Gigi Ping or no, Kim Jong-Oh, yeah, yeah. He's the only guy who ever gets to go to North Korea, apparently. Well, he brought a bunch of players with him on that one trip.

Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Didn't they make a, they made like a... A music video? There was a news show about him going to... My ex-girlfriend had a huge crush on him. On Dennis?

I had to break up with her. Right. Dennis was, didn't Madonna dated Dennis for a little. Of course. Madonna. And Pippen. Electra. Wait, did Madonna date Pippen?

I think they hooked up. Do! Can we have footage of that? Mark, can you tell me about that? Rodman's father? No. Absent father, right? No.

Oh, he had... Philanderer. His name is Philanderer. His name is not Philanderer. Pull it up. Something like 24 kids by 19 women. I think it's, yeah, I think it's 20 kids. Christian name is Philanderer.

That's impossible. I'll look it up. That is impossible. Things can be true, Tom. This sounds like a Charles Lawton type of story right there. Let's see. I forgot about the smiley face here. That was genius.

The weird smiley face. Oh, yeah. You know that, remember that guy... Philander. Not Philanderer. Philander's close. Yeah, that's up there. Do you guys know that...

Stupid sexy man. Remember Rodman left and just went to Vegas for a while? So cool. And it was so cool that they just let him do it. They were like, he just needs this. I have a theory about it. Yeah. I have a theory about why they let Dennis do everything they let Dennis do.

And it makes a lot of sense. Like when there's a guy on the other team that people think is crazy, like, that's so helpful. Sure. Like imagine, like, so when even the Bulls are like, hey, Dennis is fucking crazy. We can't control him. So imagine how you feel if you're the Knicks and you're like, if he won't listen to Phil Jackson and Jordan and Pippen and anybody, and he'll just fuck off like watch out for that guy yeah boy doesn't fucking care and you gotta let a guy that crazy be crazy that's his let him be so crazy there we go wedding dress

look at how little i am next to a little rodman oh you're cute look at me what a crew that is a fucking posse who's the white guy with the is that Jennifer gray is it me or Jennifer gray there's three white guys in the picture that I can tell right that I've never heard of that's Jared oh he's the most famous guy on the photo by far who's that guy's Jared Pilecki he's from a show called Supernatural. They have their own fan conventions just for that show. Oh, wow.

Never heard of it. I don't know it. We watched it at home, we called ghost hunks. Ghosts. Because there's two guys looking for ghosts and they're hunky as fuck. I love it. They're really, really dreaming.

You're not gay, you know. You fathered 29 children with 16 different women. See, take that Nick Cannon. And Elon, that's more than both. I did not know anything about this. And I did read bad as I want to be. How is that? It's a terrific book.

Dennis's book? Yeah. Yeah, he talks about sitting outside the palace at Auburn Hills with a shotgun in his mouth in the car. Whoa. He had some really troubled moments. You never hear about the dark side. You always think, oh, what a cool life. You always think Dennis seems fine.

You always look at Dennis. You're like, you know what? If anything, he seems fine. Right. Yeah. But there's a beauty to that selfless type of player, the guy who's just like, I don't need the ball. I'm just going to run amok. Imagine if you're fighting for a ball.

Yeah. With that guy. Yeah. Let him have it. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck it. As a kid, too.

Like, no, take my toy. Take it, take it. He's got green hair and a nose ring. Yeah. Dennis has proven that he, it doesn't, like, he's got bigger stuff on his mind. Yeah. As opposed to bonking his head with you. Right.

Yeah. Well, we all had that friend in high school when you got into a fist fight. He would go, bring a bottle over his head. And everybody else is like, oh, geez, all right. I'm not going up here. You can't really fight crazy. Can't fight crazy. Which, you could say Trump is a little of that, but Iran's crazy, too.

So they're like, fuck it, we'll go after you. Yeah, both reality stars, both a little crazy, both kind of peaked in the early. Oh, yeah. Was Dennis ever on? Dennis must have been on. He was on something. He must have been on the apprentice. He was on the Trump show, right?

Was he? I think so. Whoa. There's no way Dennis was not on that show. Had to be, right? I can see them getting along. Meatloaf was. If he likes Kim Jong-Own.

Dennis was, yeah, season eight. Bam! Did he win? Camp, what was he? Do you win? Yeah. He's famously misspelled Melania.

Morrissey. He made memorable firings. Oh, he misspelled Melania's name. Oh, we got to rewatch that season. Invited back for season 13. Wow, that ran that long. Speaking of, was it NBC? Was the show you with Matthew Perry, the odd couple?

Was that NBC? The odd couple on CBS. CBA? What? They remade that? I was, not only did they remake it, I was in it. You were, which one? Felix Unger number five.

How's that word? Let's see. The play. Oh, Mathel. The play is, uh, uh, it goes Jack Lemon. There's the play, the movie, the series, the series, black odd couple, my odd couple. What was the black odd couple? Yeah, it was called black odd couple.

Wait, really? It's called the new odd couple. Go to new odd couple. But everything is ripped off the odd couple. Like even a great show like Pete show is kind of the odd couple. That's a good point. There you go. There's the new odd couple.

So I'm on, I would be the guy, I'm the guy on, I'm the mustache one. Yeah, yeah. The almost gay one. Yeah, even, but still, even in the one I was in, I'm still the almost gay one. I'm Felix. Even right here. Is that Lamont? That is, yes.

What, from Sanford and the side? Yeah, it is. On the right, and that's the guy from Barney Miller on the letter. Wow. Yes. Yeah. No, that was a fun run. We did like three half seasons of the odd couple.

How cool is Matthew Perry? He's a funny guy. We had a great time. We were very close. Well, we did that. We did a movie called 17 again together. Easy. We did, nobody remembers that I did a couple episodes of Friends with Matt. Did you? Yeah. Wow. I'm Joey's Hand Twin.

Oh, obviously, you remember, I'm Joey's Antoin. Pull up Joey's Antoine. I was in the Friends reunion. How are you doing? Hand twin. Yep. What was it like with Matthew Perry? We had a lot of fun. I mean, Maddie's a complicated guy. I, you know, he, you know, there's always ups and downs with Maddie, but like when he was in his, I mean, he, you know, like Maddie wanted to be like a serious playwright and he was like kind of a, he was a heavier personality than, than a lot of people I know. I mean, his like, if left to his own devices, I think he would be like most of just kind of writing slightly sad plays. Like, this is real vibe. Right. And then he kind of accidentally became a TV, you know, like a. primetime heartthrob. Yeah.

You know. Dated Julia Roberts, for Pete's sake. Dated, yeah. Yeah. He was dating Julia Roberts when she was work. I know that he was dating her when she was working on her Irish accent for Michael Collins from one of those pictures. It's like the worst time to date her. Yeah, you don't want to.

What's his father in the business? Maddie's dad is, I thought, like a Canadian news guy or something. Ah, kind of. Or am I thinking of his stepdad is his stepdad is. His stepdad is the famous guy. Anyway, we had a lot of fun. All right. We both smoked cigarettes at the time.

He smoked a million cigarettes together. I could see that. Do you like smoking cigarettes in a Porsche? Wow. Yeah. We did a lot of it. How fun was L.A. back then? Portion around.

90s L.A. must have been the tip top. Knocking, burning darts in a Porsche. Yeah. We had a lot of fun. Yeah. Do you worry about TV, the state of TV, movies, and all that? No. You're not worried?

Nah. You all think it's shifted. Well, you've had a lot of success. I don't know if everyone listening knows. He wrote Night at the Museum. You did? It's a huge movie. Whoa.

They made three movies. Yeah. It's actually a fourth animated one. And apparently there's going to be a fifth. That's insane. But, you know, everybody's worried about everything. But I worry about stuff, too. But then I also don't worry about it because it's like, you know, like when TV was invented, people worried about that.

Yeah. It's like. Good point. You know, and then they're like, oh, some of the people buy. studios are evil and I'm like well I work for the people that used to own studios weren't the nicest people yeah either so it's like what we're you know so you're optimistic I'm optimistic and everything sorts itself out I like that it's refreshing mostly you know and all you can do is keep doing good stuff so here here you can

keep trying to do good work and can we pull up his resume in some ways kind of my resume if you go to IMDB it looks like a charades game of like a crazy person right There's no logic to... Like, I'm in two Merchant Ivory movies. Jesus. But I'm also in Boat Trip. Is that Cuba Gooding Jr.? Yeah.

Wow. I remember that. I'm also in a load divorce. I'm also in the Jerry Seinfeld movie. So that's right. 11 photos. I'm going to go through all real quick. I get a little, little, that's a picture called...

That's a Mike Jan picture, also from the state. Which one that's on? That's a Mike Jan movie called, uh, uh, organ trail. Oh. Very scary sort of western. By Michael Patrick Jan. From the state, director also of, of, oh, you've got 317 photos. I'm only at 13 here.

Yeah, we'll just keep fucking going through, and I'll try to remember any of them. Oh, is that Rose Byrne? That's a show called The Big Leap on Fox. That was great. Yeah, same, same. You've been on a lot of shows that went, but a lot of shows that haven't gotten. Correct. I mean, what's that like when you really believe in something, and you're just like, that's it?

Yeah, I mean, I've been in shows that were canceled at the table read also. Really? Yeah, there's friends. Oh, I'm doing a little too much in friends. like there. Look at that face. I'm doing too much. I'm doing too much. Turn it down. That is some cheesy. I'm early in Hollywood. I haven't really been there that long.

Because I could be doing less. Any audition tips? I can't nail an audition to save my life. Yeah, no. That is Hancock? Oh, that was fun. What was that movie? Anything you auditioned for that you were like, I really wish I got it. Everything. Which is one that you thought you were really close to? I was positive. I was going to be for like a couple months.

It seemed very likely that I was going to be Ford Prefect and the Hitchhiker's Guide of the Galaxy. Oh, cool. And then I was not. Yeah. The guy who got it was most deaf, and he's excellent in it. I can choose it too all the time, then. We're endlessly circling the same projects. But he's very good in the picture, but it was weird because I was positive.

I had it. That's the worst. Oftentimes you're positive. You have it. And then, you know what? You don't. Totally. You don't.

Rodman gets scurries away with it, and you're like, ah! But, no, there's, I mean, everything. Most auditions are heartbreaks. Yeah. You know. Damn. I just, I mean, I found out I saw that I was on a list of, you know, people to consider for the Michael Scott role in the office. Wow.

Which I never knew was true. And they never saw me or anything. But there's a memo, I guess it's in the book about the office. And I was like, oh, that would have been neat. That's cool. But I'm happy with my life. Yeah, who else is on that list? A lot of cool people.

Lots of cool people were on that list. Wasn't Bob Odenkirk on that? For sure he was. Yeah, he's for sure on that list. He might have actually been in... Paul DiMadi, wow. A lot of people around that list. Martin Short.

That seems like that would have been an odd choice, even though he's amazing. He's too big, I think. Yeah, it's almost like he's almost too famous to play that. I watched his documentary, and he talks about how showbiz is 95% failure. Just audition after auditioning, movies flopping. For me, it's about... 99. Right. Yeah. If you're hitting 95, you're

killing it. Is there anything you passed on that you... Almost never. Yeah. Literally, it's almost never happened. Like, pretty much never. It would have to be so... I mean, I'm in the... I'm in Puppet Master, the littlest Reich. So, like, if I'm gonna be in that... Rike!

I'm in Puppet Master, the littlest Reich. If I'm in that, what wouldn't I be? Yeah. Like, almost, you know? You're on this podcast. Yeah. I was doing my garment shopping anyway. I see. I'm usually in the garment district on...

You got a glass of wine out of it. I got almost a whole glass of wine. It was picked by Joe McCale and actually really solid. Really good. Yeah, really solid. Is there any type of thing that you haven't done yet that you really want to do? Well, the Broadway thing was one. I've written a couple novels.

Wow. That's pretty cool. You're busy out there, Wisconsin, man. From my life from the outside, I guess it must look like I feel busy. To me, it's always like, why am I not doing more, you know? I get that. Do you feel that? Totally.

From the inside, it always feels like you're not doing quite enough. I would say in comedy, we do more in a year than most people do in 20 years. Probably, yes. The traveling. A lot of travel. Also meeting people, staying friendly. We've done the road. For the last like 15 years, how hard we've been on the road was like pretty crazy.

I'm in every town. But I love it. I really love it. It is one of the hardest kind of lifestyles, too. Oh, definitely. Yeah. But it's also so rewarding. It's so fun.

Yeah, it is. It's a real high. Yeah. But to build a home life, it's hard. If it's hard. Yeah. I kind of stopped doing stand-up once I realized how I really liked it. I don't know if I was good at it, but I liked doing it.

But it's the kind of thing where it is not super conducive to like being home and being. You got that right now? Yeah. I got a baby boy and it's a lot. It's very tough. Do you have a kid? I do. My son is 16 now.

Woo! You're right in the masturbation era. Yeah. Yeah. He seems pretty, I don't know. I don't check on. They hide it well. You hope they hide it.

Yeah. That would suck, and he's like, yeah, he's jerking off a lot. We've been walking in on it. But, yeah, it's like, it's tough because, like, you know, comedy is just always some place where there's tons of booze and people want to hang out. And you're like, dangle, pick malice. Sit on your shoulder. Just like everybody wants to, you know. That's how this pod started is we were just drinking buddies from back in the day.

Yeah. And you hang out less so you do a pod. Right. And then we get to meet folks. There you go. But it's cool. And we get to watch all of Raw after this. Is there anyone you really want to work with who you haven't worked with?

I don't know. I mean, I keep, I like, the weird thing about me is I kind of like, I like doing all the different jobs. Yeah, the variety is fine. You know, like, that's what keeps me at doing this. I think it's very good to diversify the stuff that you do. Like, I, as soon as I'm like, I'm never, I don't. don't ever want to work and write movies again because it sucks yeah and it's a nightmare and then you write a novel and you're like you know what i want to do is i want this book back

into a movie and then like it's just it's good to diversify because there is so much heartbreak in movies and theater and tv and comedy like so much of it is just you know shitty yeah that it's good to diversify that heartbreak a little bit you know and have like have eggs in some different baskets sometimes. We wrote a movie and we're trying to get it made. I think we're going to shoot it in July, which I'm just going to do it. We got it just do it. We got independent financing, so we got lucky.

It's very hard to pitch stuff now. You waste like six months pitching, so we went to independent financing, we got it. Me and Marino pitched two things last year that were like slam fucking dunk. Yeah. Like to the top, they seemed amazing. And you find out eight days later in an email, they're like, oh, no, no, they didn't want to. Same. And you're like, wait. And there's not even like a big like well like no no I'm sorry used to be like the the the person you pitched to would call you

And tell you why it didn't work Although I got it's not for us or at least they would say something yeah, we've we've we've now we're in an era of Everybody's so used to being ghosted and ghosting people yeah You can go pitch a high level studio executives and you will never hear about it again. That's true at all yeah, yeah, it's fucking weird It's weird it's weird it's weird I just pitched a kind of a reality show, Pages of stage, and everybody passed on it

eventually. Did they tell you they passed? I had to ask. You had to ask. And then I said to my manager, why'd they pass? And she was like, I don't know. And so I emailed them, and I said, why did you fail? I don't know. It's your fucking job to know. I know. So I got the why now from them and they said, well, it's too niche, blah, blah. I was like, okay, thank you. That's all I need to know. But actually, having closure and stuff like that,

it's also the way that, like, the world should work. Yeah. Like, if people don't like the idea, that you have, say why. Yeah. Don't just be like, never speaking to them ever again. Exactly.

I will never speak to that. Like, just fucking say what you didn't like. I know. But that's why the internet is so, it's fun because if you get a big pop on the internet, you go, you could have had that. Yep. I mean, that was our careers.

I mean, you talk about kind of being like the anti-S&L in the 90s, but we were, you know, with stand-up specials, we got passed on by everyone and we put our shit on YouTube and it just kind of changed our lives. Of course.

Way better. And now, but, I mean, for the, you know, for the reverence, when we went to do the, like, Reno and I'm a one at Quibi, what Quibi, Katsenberg's little thing that he wanted to do with the... Oh, we remember. Yeah. We got past, our idea got passed on by Quibi.

Yeah, true. Poor things. Yeah, we had a loaded shotgun in our mouth after that one. Quibby said no. We're also the stadium at Auburn Hills or something. But what they showed us what they were trying to compete with, and it wasn't with Netflix, and it wasn't with the movie studios, and it wasn't with TV, it was with YouTube.

They were trying to compete with YouTube because the eyeballs, if you look at eyeball charts, like Netflix is amazing. It's YouTube's here. Is that right? The chart goes, you can't see the chart anymore. Whoa, pull it up. Just do YouTube versus Netflix.

Eyeballs. Like eyeballs or viewers. It's crazy. But to talk about your optimism, it's like, you don't know what's going to pop for you. You don't know what's going to hit. So just have a chitlet of plates spinning Yeah, care about all those plates

Yes Viewer viewers Viewership yeah But we didn't know I mean I thought we were like failures Doing that yeah I know so did I but it worked out That's kind of how it goes sometimes

All 13% of all television screening In the United States is YouTube 13% of all Wow 2 billion monthly That's logged in too So like one quarter of the planet Is watching YouTube

Yeah well Netflix has 8 or 9% That's pretty far fucking great. Yeah. But very good. They're 5 4 to 5% under YouTube. So you've gone right to put your thing on the thing that Yeah. I mean it's like...

But you can't compete with YouTube. Everyone's uploading every second. Netflix you have to wait for the new thing. Hey, here's the new special. Here's the new movie out. I feel like YouTube is always something new. On YouTube, I will say that's one thing about watching YouTube stuff is sometimes you feel like

hey, this is filler. You just put this out today Because you had to put out something today And you can feel that sometimes Which I miss, like when you ever watch a movie from the 40s And it's like 90 minutes and airtight dialogue And now, I mean, look, we're part of the problem On this podcast for on right now

But we still, our movie I feel like is tight joke joke joke Like that's what we like Yeah I've actually, I'm sure someone else has an expression for this But I've started calling it spacing Which is streamer pacing because you start watching shows on any streaming service

and you're like who decided to make this 28 minutes longer than it needed to be The answer is because they want to have 10 of them Yeah But like this would have been covered You're seeing stuff on streaming shows That would have been covered in a movie

As you said in about 90 minutes Yeah yeah But if it's a streaming show Wouldn't it be great if there was 8 to 10 of these Yes So let's just linger and then we're going to

hang we're going to linger over here and then we'll linger back there there you go everything fucking lingers you're right they make it a 12-buboff I ran into Nate Bargasi last night

the seller who told me he's coming back on the podcast oh really but I go I'll make sure Mark doesn't fart on you next time and Nate was really stinky sorry that was bad I'll make sure Mark doesn't pardon you

and Nate goes thanks it's like 100 degrees outside Oh my God, dude, that's fucking is really messed up. I also feel like it got into my Joel McHale wine. Sorry, Joel. Hold on, let me make sure. Hold on one sec. Yeah.

No, fuck it. Oh, it's your asshole. What the fuck, dude. I would, like, I just want to make sure you don't need to see a doctor. Because that was, that was legitimately, like, covering out of a fart. Don't spray. Yeah. I don't like a candle.

That's horrific. Yeah. Has a doctor said that you're okay? No. This guy worked with me. Matthew Perry and he's worried about you. I'll be there for you. I think you should probably see a doctor pretty soon.

Oh my God. A priest and a seance in here. Some sage. Holy hell. Hala, Akbar. Dude, that is a really bad phone. If you say Danny Thomas's real name. Three times backwards.

He asked to appear. Yeah. Holy shit. I'll eat a poop sandwich there. That is brutal I think it's past Jesus Christ It's not all the way gone

I mean Usually your cartoon farts don't smell No that was a bad one That was a burrito I had From a store? A bodega Yeah Down the street

Was it made out of cat food? What happened Oh man Do they have a letter grade in the window And the answer is we know That the answer is no Yes That is, that canto ain't gonna help.

I'm just trying to smell the wine now to get away from it. Someone was told me they do coffee grounds on a plane in case they're next to someone stinky. You ever want, the flight attendant will walk down with an open bag of coffee grounds? Smart. And kind of like squeeze it, give it a little like, it's nice, activate it.

It'll kill a lot of. I had a fat lady on a flight. She had the worst B.O. Why we got away? Wait, wait, wait. I was painting a picture. That was her only character. Well, it was more. I held out. I held back.

She was a fat, heavy set woman of color. Wow. And she had like a tight body. She was more fat and heavy set? Yes. Wow. This and Morrissey in the same episode? We're making a lot of enemies.

You literally rip and farts. Yeah. Start and fudes. Is the podcast called Rippin Farts and Start and Fudes? Holy shit. That's a good title. Farts and feuds. Farts and fudes.

Welcome morning. We pitched that. Quibi, too. They wouldn't bite. You're going to end up with a shotgun on your mouth outside the stadium in Auburn Hills. Listening to Daughter by Pearl Jam. Quibi was, I mean, that was a crazy... I almost had two Quibi shows. Really?

Almost. Quit being. Cicillian. Ciso. C-Soo? I had to produce the show for C-So. Really? Oh, wow.

Yeah. Anything else? Quibby and C-Soo. That's when we ran out of names, remember? Yes, yes. We just took anything from Danny Kay and we put it. It was Vimeo as well. Remember Vimeo?

Vimeo's still around. Oh, is that? Vimeo's good. Now there's Tooby. Vimeo's where you like if you make a video that's too... Come on, man. We lost them. We lost them.

Thomas. I'm going a little far away. All right, all right. We lost them on the mic. This is the second time Lenin's been shot. Oh, my God. Oh, man. All right.

That's it. That's it. The chamber's empty. I had to get the last one out. It was bubbling. Bubbling crude. Holy hell. Sorry, Tommy. Good to have you back. It's good to be here. This is your Reno 9-11. Is there any pressure to bring that show back to people hit you up all the time?

Oh, that was a classic. I mean, we have done a fair amount. Like, we reboot it here and there. You know, it's sort of an evergreen thing. It's not super complicated, you know? Yeah. Yes, we, one nice thing. People think that, like, it's weird. It's having a moment now because people are like, it's so incorrect.

You know, it doesn't give a fuck. Was it? Well, I guess said the N-WR-WR-G-O-W. Actually, by a lot of standards, it would be. Yeah. But to us, it was always just like, oh, this is just kind of who we are. We're not, we're never gross for, to be gross, and we're never, you know, but we also never filter, the show is very not filtered.

Same with us. So, yeah. Obviously. I had a crush on the blonde. Wendy. Wendy. Why wouldn't she's great? She's a Cleveland.

She's awesome. And a ditch. Yeah. I think she'd mind me saying she's a dish. Yeah. Wendy's, yeah. She's a... Is that her?

No, that's Carrie. Also a dish, my dear friend. The state... The state... The state was nobody wanted us to do anything. No one gave a fuck. We would do live shows and things like that. And MTV was doing a show called You Wrote It.

You Watch it. David was an intern at MTV on some other... news and stuff and he'd heard about the show and he said we pitched we said hey can we make some videos for this show and they were like no and we're like oh okay fuck and then we did the thing that ended up changing our lives in show business and it's still I think what you were just talking about instead of pitching it we went and shot three sketches that's the way to do it and we gave we walked in and gave them to them and it was like look at this and that from that we got you watch it from you're you watch it we got the state John Stewart was the host

of that so John got the John Stewart show we got and then from the state you know Viva variety in Reno 911 wow I don't know oh Vio Variety 30 movies of some combination of these people have made I mean most of these people are in Gell Daughtry the movie oh fun it's great you guys are still buds yeah anyone in here sort of not doing what they want to do today every single person in the group pretty much does what they taught Todd does art. He does like art installations, and Todd is the founder and the pod in the front there.

Todd lives in Seoul. And he does like art installations and stuff. Whoa. Interesting. Yeah. What the hell is? Pretty much everyone else, almost everyone in that picture directs movies. Cool.

I thought that was young Todd Barry in the flannel for a second. Oh, that's a... Tom Hollebeck and David Wayne. Shelter is one of Hollywood's biggest directors. Ken obviously direct and is in everything. I'm in a lot of stuff. That is Kevin Allison. He did Risk.

He has a very popular podcast called Risk. Oh, nice. He's up on it. Scary stories. Have you done Risk? Many years ago, yes. Did you fart on him? No, you didn't have one loaded.

But what the hell? The guy in the middle. That's a bummer because he might be into it. That's true. He's probably of the state your best audience for that. Oh, okay. Good to know. Well, I took a risk.

This guy in the brown jacket. Joe La Truglio. Joe, he does a... I'm often mistaken for Joe Littrick. What is the scene where he's on drugs? Super Troopers. That's a... I couldn't pinpoint.

It's so good. Still colds up. Not super Super troopers. I think he's in both. He might be in both. Joe's I know in Superbad. What's his name? Joe La Truglio with a L.O and then capital T again. Yeah. He is the

member of the state that I'm most often mistaken for? No, I don't see. Otherwise I'm mistaken for a member of the kids in the home quite a bit. Oh, Bruce? Or Dave? I think I'm more, I don't know. He's not a super troopers. Dave? Oh, he's not? He's the guy in Super troopers. Who the hell of my thing? You're thinking of That's who I was thinking of, though.

You nailed it. Really? Joe's in... Joe's in... I mean, a million movies. Christina Hendricks. Ex-husband. That's not Joe's never married to... Oh, Jesus.

Joe's never married to her? That guy was married to her? We've been through this on the pod before. We've literally done this before. Well, we drink a lot on the other stuff. I'm in a terrific movie with Christina Hendrix. You can watch it. It's called Pottersville.

Whoa. At one point, it was at an actual zero. on rotten tomatoes. What? I think now it's at like a 16. Can we go to Rotten Tomatoes Pottesville? Wow. Zero's crazy.

That's great. Zero is almost impossible because you have to have enough reviews. Right. To equal zero. To register 14%. Yeah, all right. Yeah, but look at that popcorn meter. That is, it only is good by comparison to, but again, another thing about life.

Look at the biggest hit I've ever been affiliated with. It just both ends. Sorry, sorry. Look at Night of the Museum You're like having a baby on the podcast The biggest hit of my entire life That I've ever been a part of Night of Museum On Rotten Tomatoes is probably what, 40 something?

Maybe Whoa, that's crazy Whoa Welcome to my fucking life So you never know Yeah but it's got look at the popcorn meter It's still not that good That's an F. That's a yeah

See, that's a terrible review Is that crazy when you write that Are you like this is going to be so well received Or what? I stopped thinking that a long long time ago Wow, you wrote that. And even worrying about it. That's impressive.

You know, comedy generally doesn't get reviewed that well. You got that right. You know, but I mean, it's about to have its fourth or fifth film. Wow. So it's like, you know, you got to, oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. For fuck's sake. He's not a member.

Did you get to direct that as well? No, God, no, that's Sean Levy, probably the biggest director in Hollywood currently. Wait, what does Levy done? He just did one called Wolverine Deadpool versus Wolverine. Wow. That's making the next Star Wars picture. Pretty big. Geez, I never heard of it.

You heard of this guy? Yeah, Sean Levy. I'm an idiot. It's a huge deal. I don't know Levy. You'd like him. He's a good guy. Okay, great.

Don't rip a fart on him when you meet him. I won't. Quick question. So when my kid goes to night at the museum night at the museum. Do I get a little kickback from that? I do. Do you get kickbacks from this outfit? I get a very small kickback from that outfit.

It's not as good as you would think. Yeah. No, I don't get anything from the museum. No. No, from the outfit, that is an officially licensed Lieutenant Daniel. Wow! I'm gonna tell you right now, I don't do as well as you would like. And I'm just gonna, can I quickly, if we're starting fucking feuds?

Yeah, hell yeah. I'm gonna start a real, real actual feud. Bring it on, Fetty. I can give a great big FU to Spirit Halloween. Oh, shit. Now here's what I'm gonna say. If you try to find the Lieutenant Dangle outfit at Spirit Halloween, you're not going to find it. You know why?

Because look up Sergeant Shortpants At Spirit Halloween They've made up their own They ripped you off They've made up their own Lieutenant Dangal outfit As if there's just always Cops and shorts

There we go Wow Go give him a bad review dude No that might be the official again This is no no no Sergeant Shortpants Copsom, cop costume Yeah so they they've made up Their own version of it

It's getting some good reviews Look at that It's got great reviews, these fucking assholes. Wow. This, the knockoff Lieutenant Dangal outfit has better reviews than night of the museum. Welcome, welcome to my fucking life.

Wow. Spirit, you cunts. This is why your airline went under. You guys, this is why you fucked up your airline. Oh, no, you can give it a good review. It's all right. Hey, you know what? A rising tide lifts all ships. Hey, my man. Say you ripped the guy off. Pay my man. Yeah.

Hey, if you listen to the podcast, go to Spirit Halloween and destroy it. No, no, no, no, no. A rising tide lifts all ships. But you can also get the official one some fucking place. All right, don't destroy it. I think Amazon has to be used. Not that this is an ad for Amazon, but I think they have the real one. They need a boost.

You're wearing the real one over there. That's the real one over there. It looks good. Hell yeah. I always wondered, no offense to you there, Tom. I always wonder how guys like you stay rich. And then it's stuff like this, these little, nickel and dime things. There's streams of revenue

coming in. I wonder how guys like you stay rich. Well, you've been in the game for six decades. Yeah. So you always wonder, is it Peter, does it fizzles? I'm glad the the part wasn't the most insulting thing you've done. You know what I'm saying. No, no, but here's what you, the real secret of that is, every time you get paid, take 10% of it and put it in the stock

market. Yeah. Oh, is that right? It's a good idea. Someone's telling you that right now? No. Oh, fuck. You need a time machine where I tell you that, like 20 years ago? Yeah, I could have just do that forever. Now, fuck that dude's fan duel. Go Nix. Go Nix.

Or fan duel. Yeah. Lans. All right. Yeah, well, dude, it's been awesome having you. This is a great time. This has been a great episode. You want to go spend some real money in the Garmac District?

Yes, let's do it. Let's make our own short shorts. Pull up the movie one more time. Gail Dautry. It's a great picture. G-A-I-L. G-L-G-A-L-Dottery and The Celebrity Sex C-Rass. It's a picture by...

Oh, there's a trailer. It comes out July 10th, everywhere in the world. It's in real movie theaters. Hell yeah. Real movie theaters, July 10th. If you like anything with the state, Camerino, David Wayne. Love it. These are the people behind Wet Hot American Summer, obviously.

Wanderlust. Wanderlust, and The Ten and, you know. All the glutes. It's a great premise of a picture. It's a premise so funny, I was like, is this going to get made? And then they made it. Isn't that funny? It was so funny that you're worried it won't get made.

Sometimes it's so funny you worry, is it really going to get made yet? I know. But this one did get made. Oh, it's at a 74. Holy shit. Hey! It's quite an upgrade. from Night of the Mew.

Yeah. It's almost double. That's true. Almost doubled the Nighting Museum. I'm worried about these long titles sometimes. I think it was longer. Really? Yeah.

You know, it's like whatever Jackie and Johnny make a porno. We're looking at your tour dates? We're plugging dates. Plugging dates, baby. What are we got? June 7th, Mark. Let's see where is the closest you are to anywhere I live. All right.

Brookfield, Wisconsin. I'm going to Milwaukee. You mean Milwaukee? Yeah, if you want to do a guest set. June 6th. at the improv. I don't get to Milwaukee until like the couple days after that.

Okay, that's what they all say. Milwaukee's a beautiful town. I love Milwaukee. I love Milwaukee. Hiding in plain sight. It's awesome. Somebody was very smart and they were looking for a cool place to live

that wasn't like already crowded and a bummer. The cold though. But it's a great city. It's a great city. Underrated. I'm going to June. I'm excited.

That's why Prince stayed in Minneapolis. That's right. Keeps away some of the cooks. There you go. Who's playing fucking Budapest? Me. That's going to be fun. And by the way, tickets still available in Budapest.

That one is looking rough. Not that many. No, no. Everything else is moving. Let's see what's available. Hey. What's the best seat I can get in Budapest? Lisbon's doing great.

Athens doing great. Adding the show in Warsaw. Where are you going to be in Athens? I don't know. It's the hottest city in the world. And I don't mean that in the best way. It's the best seats you can get. All right.

That's the best seat you don't get right there? Yeah, it's 28 gherkeys. 28 gherkeys? That's a lot of pickles. Even actual pickles. Man, they're... Two cornichones. I knew their economy was fucked up.

I didn't know it was like... Like pickle. Yeah, Dalekdil. It's a pickle economy. Yeah, we got... What do I have to be? You're doing Zagreb. You're going to kill it.

Oh, Zagreb. Do it. We're doing well in Zagreb. Budapest, not looking great. Vienna, Warsaw. You have fun. You have fun. Add in the second show. Helsinki, Stockholm, and Copenhagen.

Going to be a lot of fun. Hell yeah. I just learned that that's how you fucking spell Copenhagen. It blew my mind. There you go. I didn't even know that looked like a word. It's a great city. Great, beautiful town.

Mark, where are you going to be? I'll be at the Irvine Improv. Come on out. That's a big room. We got one show left to sell out. We got the Tempe Improv. I think there's a picture of me backstage at the Irvine Improv. I think there is.

Can I tell you why it's there? I think it got moved from the Hollywood one. They're just like, ah, move here you can go. Irvine's a good one. I got moved down to Irvine. Great. It's a good club, though. Mark Ridley is in Detroit area, Royal Oak.

Cleveland, hilarities. and Seattle, Emerald City, sideswheres in Tampa, and the clubhouse in the Hampton is coming out to that. Cubs. Oh, look at Cubs. You got a couple nights.

Love Cubs. Here's the thing about Cops. You don't even need to be good to play Cubs. Cubs is such a friendly place. Great crowds. You could just try. I'll fart up there. You could really try stuff out.

Because San Francisco and Cubs in particular, the best. I love that stuff. Nashville. Nashville and. Pittsburgh and You have to cancel some of these if we shoot that movie

But you better believe it It looks like we're shooting it so really That's what I hear fingers crossed All right I'll believe it when I see it Awesome to hang out with you Thomas Nice to meet you And an honor Cheers

Slomcher Hey Smolm-Tram Hey, DeMorsi Sunday's a day from Who's close Fucking shit about the fucking To lunch here in news

Woman doesn't look like