We Might Be Drunk - [UNLOCKED] Ep 6.5: Old Fashion & White Russian: Last Round

Episode Date: January 26, 2021

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One more drink, one more drink You know in the morning for sure we gon' stink One more round, one more round It's 5 a.m., you pricks, the barkeep frowned This is what we do, catch up for a few We'll riff and talk some shit and then we'll sleep till two talk some shit and then we'll sleep till two oh we doing we ready rolling baby oh sorry i didn't know good patreon hey these are the real

the real folks here this is the real deal I'm still drinking, man Same This is the real After Dark This is the real One More Drink Yes, yes The door is locked The waitresses went home This is just us and the barkeep Real alcoholic style

I love it, man Should we take an email? Should we just, let's, we got so many I want to go into some, I haven't looked at all of them, but Um Out of the gate, Ryan Combs wrote Quick Rodney joke that always got me to laugh I tell you, this is better than my last gig, you know

I used to sing the national anthem at cockfights That's on the whole email It's so dumb i love it fuck oh rodney i'll tell you i love back to school good teacher really seems to care about what i have no idea some henny youngman jokes too you'd hear like really this is like although this is definitely henny Youngman Where he'd be like Even back to school he'd be like

Why'd your marriage fail? We were doomed from the start Vanessa she was an earth sign I was a water sign Together we made mud I'll tell ya Wow God he must have had a zillion jokes So fucking funny Oh a lady wrote in.

That's nice. A lady. You sounded like Leon Phelps from SNL. Tim Meadows. Ooh, it's a lady. What did she say? Haley Dunnigan goes, Hi, Mark and Sam.

Love the podcast. I have two pet peeves for you guys. One of my pet peeves is when you make a joke and the person laughs and then they hit you Oh yeah I don't know if you can relate But this one really is a top pet peeve I don't mind a hit

What's that? The Elaine from Seinfeld would do the push Not after a joke but she would do the push Get out How do you feel about it? I don't mind the hit because it means that it really got a reaction. I'll take a hit for a good pop. Yeah, I'm okay with it.

I think it depends on the person. It depends how strong they are. It depends what gender. A woman hitting, I feel like it's a sign of affection. A guy hitting, I think could also be a sign. I mean, I'm okay with either one. I'm not really opposed to either. Yeah yeah what i do hate is the hitting like hey hey you gotta you gotta hear this i hate that yeah how about you find something interesting then grabs my ear don't just attack me

and then make me listen geez you're fucking it's like you pop my fucking clavicle i'm i'm dying here yeah right i hate that Come up with a good opener. Don't just hit people. It's a fair pet peeve. It doesn't bother me, but I mean, it plays, I think. It's fair. And then she says she has a bit idea how beards are to women what butts are to men.

I don't know. Yeah, she's like, I'm not sure what it is about us women, but when I see a guy with a nice beard, he becomes instantly more attractive. Interesting. I believe this joke has potential. Love the pod. I love hearing what women think because we're all surprised every time.

A beard. Well, I knew that, like, I know there were studies that said that women like a little stubble as opposed to just completely shaved. I also feel like that's not, depending on who you are, that's not costing you ass. I feel like Leonardo DiCaprio Could take a straight razor to a throat Bleeding they'd be like I'm still in you know What I mean so I mean I don't know

I don't know how Big a beard is she talking is she talking like A fucking Chris Hemsworth Or a Joaquin Phoenix I'm taking A break from movies beard like what is she talking About here that's a good That's a good specific that should be Or a Joaquin Phoenix I'm taking a break from movies beard Like what is she talking about here? That's a good specific that should be clarified Because a beard can go Gandalf or it can go, you know I'm trying to think of a good small beard

I don't know, like Like John Krasinski in that action movie, he went with a beard Oh, yeah, yeah, Jack Ryan, did he rock a beard? Yeah, something like that And you're like, alright, wow He went with a beard. Yeah. Jack Ryan. He rocked a beard. Yeah. Something like that. And you're like, all right. Wow. He has a beard.

That's kind of cool. But yeah, I like the middle. I like the stubble. I'm thinking. Yeah. I'm a stubble guy. A lot of it's out of laziness. I just can't shave every day.

But I'm just not into grooming that much. So when I do it, I want to really be like, let's take care of everything. Let's trim the, uh, let's trim a couple of regions that will go on mentioned. This is the Patreon. Sure. Let's,

uh, let's, you know, I'll shave sometimes for a pod, but, uh, for a pod, that's my life now.

Uh, I gotta look good for the zoom. Uh, but my, my, my lady, one time I trimmed up the genitals to like surprise her. And she was like, Oh, she's like, I want a full bush.

I want gross, matted, disgusting, full male hair. I said, all right, great. It's, you know, it's, I'll say this is how a, a, uh, a beard is not like an ass. No woman has ever hit her friend. I've been like, check out that beard. Ooh, good point And there's no Instagram page of beards That women are just scrolling

Not that we know of There might be in some weird underbelly I don't think beards are as I get how a woman could be into them I mean, we have asses too For the record Yeah, but it's a whole different world I mean, they got the hourglass

And the twerking and the popping I mean my ass I walk backwards to the bathroom when I'm with a lady In the bedroom just cause My backside is horrific Is it? It's gross I got a flat ass I got chicken legs

I got butt hair It's bad news I mean if you're a guy. Who cares? Nah. I get weird about it. I think like, yeah, I don't know. Definitely, I definitely like hearing that women like a little scruff.

I mean, that's a nice thing. Well, what's more masculine? They can't grow hair on their face. We can. So it's like the opposite of a woman in a way. Are you an ass man or a breast man uh i'm both i'm both i i i think as my in my older age i go more ass wow yeah i think that is a sign that you're growing up yeah because it's a it's a shape more than a a boob is just like oh i want

to grab it and squeeze or oh it looks great in a shirt, but an ass is like, oh, this is a woman. This is like a voluptuous woman. Like a skinny chick and have big tits. That's a good point. Yeah, I mean, I still love breasts, so I got to tell you. Yeah, no, so do I. There's something about them. Like, the reveal is so fun, too.

You get that little reveal going. You're like, ah! It's like a gift. It's like, you know? I mean, shit. Yeah, yeah. No, ah it's like it is like it's like a gift it's like you know i mean shit yeah yeah no hey i like it all i like a small waist i like a thigh i like a neck i like a shoulder this show gets hornier the later we go one more drink after dark remember that uh the dana carvey show they would do everything Monuments after dark Just like the Washington Monument I got it

Can we do another I got We got another woman here So let's do another woman Oh Help me Hayley Love you Hayley

Thanks Love the show You guys are my favorites So glad you came together It's an absolute riot I'm happy Hey it's nice to hear About a nice riot these days

Am I right? My pet peeves I'll tell you I'll tell you I went down to the Capitol Last week No respect I'm happy. Hey, it's nice to hear about a nice riot these days. Am I right? My pet peeves. I'll tell you. I went down to the Capitol last week. No respect. Rodney is a fucking proud boy.

My Camp Auschwitz shirt. Nobody liked it. I said, you should go to Camp Auschwitz. Maybe that would suit you. I'll tell you. Rough crowd. Worst gig I ever had, Auschwitz. I'll tell you. Rough crap. Worst gig I ever had, Auschwitz. I'll tell you.

My face looked like Pelosi's desk. I'll tell you. When people say 1 a.m. in the morning. Yeah, dude, you don't need both. That's funny. Wait, I missed it. What was it? She doesn't like when people say 1 a.m. in the morning.

Excessive words. She doesn't like, she cares about word economy. Good point. I'm with you on that one, sister. Here's the other one. Too many cushions on shit. Why would you have decorations on the place you're supposed to sit and you have to move? It's honestly complete madness, she writes. Hmm.

Interesting. I agree, but I mean, talk to the ladies to the ladies other ones putting 17 pillows on the bed i agree yeah it's women they really i mean shit i barely make the bed i don't think i made it today i make it like every three days i feel like that's fair i mean you you have a living girl i mean it makes sense that you're making the bed. That's a girl thing. Women don't stand for that shit. Yeah, well, I'm a self-help cunt. I read all that shit, and I read that one time, if you make the bed first thing in the morning,

it improves your productivity for the rest of the day, just subconsciously. Interesting. So I just never forgot that. So as much as I hate it, I'm hungover. I got half a boner. I just go, ah, and I make the bed real quick. Interesting.

Yeah. Maybe I'll start doing it. You might have just convinced me. I don't know if it works, but it's one of those things that I heard it once, and I said, I'll try it, and I've done it for years since. Just one of those things. Good Dino song. Yeah, there you go.

I got a Robin Lovat. I don't know if this is a guy or a girl. I'm a big fan from Wales. I was introduced to you by a comedy mad friend. That's so British. Comedy mad friend, and I've been following both of your stuff for a while. I'm really glad you brought out your specials on YouTube. It really seems like a master stroke,

considering the millions of views you both had. Here's my joke that I wrote. I doubt it'll work on stage, but because you need a fall guy slash target, it never fails to get a laugh with my mates at least. Here we go. You could try it on one another. Have you ever noticed that guys in porn who have massive dicks also treat women terribly? It's almost as if the two are connected

big cock equals terrible person but you know what my friend you're a great guy keep up the good work i don't get it he's saying your friend doesn't have a he's got a tiny dick oh you're a great guy oh i get it okay he goes let me know what you think of the joke. Feel free to shit all over it. I think he just did. Do you have any personal gags? Do you have any gags that always kind of just work socially? Let me think. Yeah, let's see.

Maybe like a line with a woman or something. That was like you're trying to like I remember you'd do one sometimes back in the day Where a woman would walk by after the show And you'd be like you were great Oh that was a big one A big one was man if I wasn't gay That's a good one

Because they'd go oh really And I'd go I'm joking That kind of got you in That's a good one Steve from the comedy seller Outdoor, one time he got me good. I was like, I think I'm going to get the borscht. He goes, I'll alert the media. Ooh, that's good.

Make out a big laugh. And I'm going, well done, Steve. One I would do at bars when I'd be trying to get a girl's attention, I would just go right next to her and just pretend to be on my phone and be like, yeah, that's not enough money for the children's hospital well i don't care we need more money do what you can okay all right and i'd be like i'm sorry it's just these calls they go they go all night i just you know that's great uh another classic i think everybody does this one but like if you walk up and you go oh man, man, I just I got to go to fucking Key West and do a I got to go to Naples and I go quit bragging.

Or I just did a podcast. You go quit bragging. Yeah, that one always gets a chuckle. Should I find another one in here? Yeah, sure. Let's see. A lot of some of these are long. Yeah, I'm trying to find short ones Um Hey love you guys podcast is from Christian Uh it's my drive home And I look forward to it each week I'm over in Australia and telling my mates about it Your chat reminds me of me and my mate Always discussing comedy and stand up

Love the pet peeves I appreciate that Christian Thank you very much Thank you Chris Has anyone done the bit about how Christian Is the only name that's a religion Like you never meet Muslim Johnson That must have been done

I don't know I don't know Hey this is Scientology Williams over here And I don't know it just seems So weird that Christian is a name I'm Hari Krishna Jones Ah yeah Yeah you're right I've never heard it Jewish Jones or whatever It's weird that Christian is a name. I'm Hari Krishna Jones. Ah, yeah. Yeah, you're right.

I've never heard it. Jewish Jones or whatever. You know, it's... I don't know if there's anything there, but it's... It's a good observation, if anything. It's an observation. All right, I got one for Matthew Jerry. Two first names.

They say never to trust a guy with two first names. Dear Mark and Sam, First, I would like to thank you for your great comedy, all the laughs. I watched Out to trust a guy with two first names. Dear Mark and Sam, first I would like to thank you for your great comedy all the laughs. I watched out to lunch and up on the roof ten times each. Whenever I try to write a joke it seems like the hardest part is coming up with a funny, clever, or original idea to write about. Yeah, no shit!

How do you guys come up with a funny premise or funny subject matter? What percent of them hit? Have you ever tried to write a punchline? Then the setup. Any advice on developing a premise is appreciated. You asked, what were you drinking? I'm a,

I'm of high school age. So I've been enjoying one more apple juice. That's fine. Well, I think that's a good question. The thing about how you write a bit. And I think the only time you have the punchline first really Is if something horrible happens to you

Or if someone just says something that becomes Like a funny And then even that it's not always the punchline Like you have to write something funny after that But you kind of have your ending is your question I guess So maybe if like someone says something ridiculous Like I was on the subway and someone goes Y'all motherfuckers scared now.

I'm like, well, that's the joke. Someone saying that to me. You know what I mean? So I think that's the only time you have like the joke. But then you still have to write a line afterwards. Like, you know, so I think that is an interesting question. That is interesting. I think sometimes I do come up with a punch line.

Like you said, like y'all scared now Whatever it was That does happen, like I was watching the Eagles documentary And Fuck the Eagles, man Fuck the Eagles, man Fucking this white Russian Wait, is the Tiger Woods doc good? Unbelievable

Really? Okay, I'm gonna watch it, alright It's Alex Gibney who's like the documentary king What else did he do? Oh, he did like the Steve Jobs. He did Scientology. Oh, I love that. He did all the big ones. That was great.

Going clear. But yeah, yeah. All those killer, like world shattering documentaries. Were you ever, when Rachel, you could tell, was at our show, Gary Veeder used to walk her dog, so they were close. Oh, wow. So she was, I remember just seeing her face in the crowd and she and i'll say this about her she might have fucked tiger while he was married but she laughed

at every joke and uh that's the true measure of a human being in my mind here here yeah i'm into it but uh so oh the eagles documentary the lead singer whatever his name is he goes i heard somebody say in a green room well it, it's Life in the Fast Lane. And he's like, that's a song. And he just wrote Life in the Fast Lane. And now then he has to write all the lyrics around it and all the chorus and the melody. But I feel like that same thing happened to you with the subway guy. You heard that and you're like, got to write a bit.

Yeah, I mean, things trigger. Like you hear shit and you're're like that's a joke but at the same time you know you still have to write the joke like anyone could just be like i heard a guy say this thing and you're like all right well that might get a laugh but there needs to be more you can't just it's more than just observing you need to have a have a turn somewhere like right for that bit i think i ended up saying something like uh because he kept going he goes yo motherfuckers like you're scared now i was like we are we're scared of you and then he said uh you don't like this shit take it to new jersey and i said oh yes newark the safety capital

of the united states that's that's where i go and i need a break so i think there's always like you always need another thing but you just you know but but those when you observe you get those jumping off points i think yeah oh yeah definitely definitely i had a bit where i'd say i said everything we want everything fast now except sex we want high speed internet we want delivery the next day but when you when you have sex quick and you finish quick the girl's like what happened i always go well these are the times we're living in i remember this but i had are the times we're living in But I had these are the times we're living in It's just on Conan or something Yeah like these are the times we're living in

I knew that was going to be the punch And I had to kind of write backwards So it does happen These are the times we're living in is such a fucking great Ending too because you're It's You're flipping it on them like they're not hip Because you fucking come I mean that's a fucking It's funny for so many on them like they're not hip because you fucking come.

I mean, that's a fucking it's funny for so many reasons. But that to me is like that. The wording like having like an expression as a punch line when it just fits perfectly. Yes, that always works. And also the idea of a guy saying that after finishing and disappointing a woman, you know, like, well, he saying that naked in a bedroom that's so ridiculous like the idea like there's nothing we can do i mean this is this is this is this era like i'm sorry people come quickly now like it's so fucking get with the times after you nut too soon is so funny hey all right thank you i love it i love it all right here's that was matthew Here's a short one from Kusha and Savuji.

I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. Huge fan from Iran. The movie Rex, it looks like. Documentary Crumb from 1994. Never saw that. Did you see it? I did. It's good. It's dark and it's sad. It's really good. I saw the movie Crumb with Paul Giamatti, which was excellent.

I never saw it. And our friend Judah Friedlander, who was incredible in it. Great. And then he also said the movie Ghost World, which I've also never seen. Oh, a young Scar Jo. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I forget who.

Steve Buscemi is in it. It's interesting. It's kind of moody, and it's like teenage angst, but it's dark and good. Terry Zwigoff made it. Who also did the movie Crumb. And Bad Santa. Holy shit.

This guy's good. This guy's good. All right. Good Rex. What else? Any other emails we should do here? I got two quick ones. Mario Hernandez wrote, constructive criticism is just friends being mean to your face.

That's literally the whole email. That's kind of funny. Constructive criticism. Yeah, that's interesting. That's a good premise. Well, it depends on the criticism. You ever have people just give you criticism you didn't ask for, and you're like, well, I didn't fucking ask.

They're just like, hey, I care about you, so this is what I'm going to tell you. And you're just like, no one asked for feedback here. This is a friendship. This isn't a fucking workshop. You know what I mean? Totally. Yeah, I'd expect this from the drunk mom in Tampa.

Like, you should slow down more, whatever the hell it is. You're like, all right, thanks, lady. But yeah, when your friend does it, it's a little more weird. It's weird. Here's a tough one. What do you do when a friend of yours, when you's it's a little more weird it's weird how here's a tough one what do you do when like a friend of yours when you hear them do a bit and you're kind of like ah you feel like it's beneath them what do you think you gotta tell i mean you told me

about one of those and i'm so glad you did because i was like it was uh it was a gay joke or uh something something my friend and then something that i was like but we fucked oh yeah and you're like yeah and i was like i think a lot of you you're maybe one of the only people i feel comfortable saying shit like that too because i think your act is so good i mean that's kind of where it comes from it's like well i appreciate it um but yeah i don't i don't there's very i the people on the i would say that too i can count on maybe three fingers so right well the funny thing is you told me that and i took it out and i've heard like seven guys do it since then and i'm like thank god he told me that i would never do

it that's the thing is like with your friends you're like you never do it to be a fucking i mean i've had people say it to me too i. I mean, but you're just like, you just got to cut shit sometimes. It's like, we write so many jokes. It is unavoidable. Yeah. And sometimes it's a perfect laugh when you need one and you're segwaying. It's tough. So you get that big laugh. So you're like, well, why wouldn't I keep it?

But then. That made the punchline hit harder. It fucks up everything. It's kind of like. Yeah. It's like you have this house and the foundation is now fucked yeah completely tough but it's better in the long run so for sure i'm glad you told me uh kirk kirk hurlitz been loving the show you're both great uh mutual admiration for

bill murray i noticed you guys talked about in episode four, and I wholeheartedly share that with you. Yeah. How can one not? Bill Murray's the man. Anyway, if you haven't seen it already, there's a great documentary that was just done in 2018 with photos and videos of Bill Murray just showing up in random places and hanging out with people. Since you're a fan of his as well,

I think you'd really enjoy it. The full title is Bill Murray Stories, Life Lesson Learned from a Mythical Man, and it's streaming on Amazon Prime. It's funny he says that. I was just on the phone with Ryan Hamilton, our mutual friend. I love Ryan, and Ryan was telling me

how much he enjoyed the new Bill Murray movie with Rashida Jones on the rocks. Oh, yeah. He said it's really fun. It's just like a wealthy, he's like, it's a type of movie where you're like Only Bill Murray could have pulled off this character He's just like a wealthy old New York guy

Who's single and just totally okay with it And you're just like Ah it sounds kind of fun I'm into it He's so captivating to me And he's so subtle There's something about Bill Murray That's like more than Bill He's like enlightened Or he's got something there's something about bill murray that's like more than bill it's it's he's like enlightened or something's going on there but i just love so

much like it's funny i know they had beef ramus and bill murray because i think ramus wanted to be more of a rom-com and murray wanted to be dark and weird and it's like it's fucked up that they were both kind of right you know because like ram like Ramis, you need both of them. Like Ramis understood the universal appeal of that movie. But Murray really, you know, to me, I'm more fascinated with a dark element of that movie. Sure. But they're trying to sell tickets, I guess. Totally.

But like the idea that like he's stuck in this fucking time loop and it's miserable. I mean, I thought Palm Springs did a pretty good job with that too I don't know if you saw that That was a really good con It's Groundhog Day but it's really fun Yeah it's a good new twist on it And they made it their own It's funny you say the dark thing versus the Ramis thing

Because I think Seinfeld and Curb are kind of that thing Like Curb goes hard I mean like N-word And all this like rape and all this stuff which i love but seinfeld they couldn't do that on nbc so he's like the sugar in the in the old fashion a little bit yes but you need that it's good to have it's good to have two guys who play differently you know it's like yes you look in sports sometimes when two people do the exact same thing the team fails but when you have one guy who's kind of a distributor and

the other one who's like a finisher it's kind of like i mean that's how you win so yeah um shit yeah you gotta have your pippin your pippin to your jordan yeah bill murray though man i mean shit uh one of the one of the low-key best bill murray performances to me is is rushmore oh so good so good with the two sons he's smoking a cigarette oh man that's great that's a great movie yeah what's my favorite oh me too it's your what's your number two tenenbaums tenenbaums is up there. I like Bottle Rocket a lot. Budapest Hotel is pretty good. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that was good. That was surprisingly good. That one to me was more fun than actually great movies. But it's kind of moving. That ending is kind of like you're kind of surprised by it. I dug it. That's true. Scorsese said he's the most interesting new director he's seen.

That makes sense because he's not that new, and Scorsese said he's the most interesting new director he's seen That makes sense, because he's not that new And Scorsese's old, you know It's kind of like Jerry Seinfeld being like My favorite new comedian is Bill Cosby And you're like, wait, what? That doesn't make sense That always annoyed me at the cellar When they're like, well, you young guys I'm like, dude, I'm 36. I've been doing this 12 years. Like, go talk to, you know, Brendan Sagalow or some shit.

Yeah, no, it's funny when they say, like, it's like, we've been doing this a while. That's the thing. Yeah. Wes Anderson is, I haven't seen all his movies. The couple I haven't seen are like Darjeeling And Moonrise Are the two I haven't seen I feel like I've seen All his other shit For the most part

I think he's great I mean I'm a big fan For sure He's unique And he's got his own Yeah He's like I guess what they call

An auteur He's got his own Little style Right I mean Yeah Any movie director Where you watch And you go

I know who did this To me is Unless it's horrible You don't want to be like This is so bad I know it's Bob But like Any guy it's horrible you don't want to be like this is so bad i know it's bob but like any guy who's good and makes it his own like tarantino obviously scorsese obviously yeah to me that's all all i need even uh who did shit like so oh yeah finchers i feel like finchers like top five of our time oh yeah but like oh yeah but wes anderson Wes Anderson Who the fuck did what he did

Before he did it And then who sustained a career I mean to do something that no one before A style that no one before you did And to sustain it Yeah you're a fucking legend for that I think Totally I mean that's why I respect Jizzleneck so much

Like nobody really did that Kind of one liner Like the cocky good-looking dark i'm owning it pretty cool he leaned into it hard and it paid off yeah you're right exactly when you take it's almost like a risk to go that way but it's also like i'm sure jeselnik was just like i'm great at joke right and i'll be all right but that's kind of how i looked at wes anderson like bottle rock was the first one but it's like you got luke and owen wilson who are clearly like stars they're just awesome and then yeah and then you got rush more where that story has so much

heart but it's also so funny the soundtrack is fucking incredible like yep what what do you not love about it a high school kid falling in love with his T-shirt. It's already funny. Yeah, and it's weird and offbeat. And, like, it's so meticulous, and the colors are great. The shots are great. The zoom out. I mean, there's so much there. I mean, he's a beast.

He falls into that thing, though, that a lot of these directors do, even Tarantino, even Scorsese with the Irishman, where they blow themselves a little too much and they kind of overdo it. You need to pull back. Limitations are key. What do you think? The Irishman is eight hours long. Yeah. Do you not like it?

I thought it was okay, but I mean, like. The last hour was pretty incredible, I thought. I thought the last hour was great, but look at Hateful Eight. Hateful Eight Had some great moments But I mean we got 12 minutes Of the horses galloping In the beginning

With the snow Like I get it You're a genius And we all love you But like Get the fucking Scalpel out

And start editing I'll say this about Tarantino Though like For all the fucking Bullshit out there For all the like Four hour podcasts We can't

We can't sit through A two hour and 45 minute tarantino movie once a year like no no i get it i mean like i'm going to the movies we saw django in the theater that was so fun that was a fun movie to see with you i mean i thought his latest one was one of his best movies i still say that the one brad pitt and and leo was so good but i i still think what's your number one tarantino? Because I think mine is Jackie Brown. Oh, yeah, we've talked about it. I mean, I think just Pulp Fiction is such a masterpiece.

And I know it's hacky to say. That's number two. But to me, that's the best one. I love Pulp Fiction. But I just think Jackie Brown is like, fuck, the soundtrack's so good to that, too, across 110th Street and Didn't I Blow Your Mind. And Robert Forrester is so cool and pam greer so sexy and awesome and yeah sam jackson's funny as yeah de niro's weird

and totally different than he normally plays it's a fascinating movie for sure such a good movie dude i loved it chris tucker the delphonics yeah it's great man robert forrester was cool as i saw like uh tom segura posted this cool thing just being like how he saw this guy pulled over on the road when he just moved to la and he went over to help him and he was like hey what can i do and the guy needs like a jump start in his cables and tom helped him and he said uh can i can i do anything else and they talked for a while and he goes well what are you doing? He goes, I'm a comedian. He goes, but I know you. He's like, no, I'm newer in comedy.

He goes, it was fucking Robert Forster. Whoa! He said he was such a nice guy. Clearly in need of help. They hit it off. It's like, man, what a cool LA moment. Whoa, that's amazing. That guy was so great in Jackie Brown.

He looks like a regular guy. I could see if you didn't know who he was. He's just like a dude, like a dad or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fun story. One time I was drunk in L.A. I did a show in the middle of Echo Park.

I don't know where the fuck I was. I had a rental car. I had a couple of highballs. Got in my car. Highballs? You know, you live so far. Everything is so far in la i had like a half hour drive to get to my airbnb brutal yeah i'm on the 405 it's three in the morning boom

tire blows just blows oh my god so i'm like jesus christ i'm doing this shit i pull off to the shoulder on a highway cars are whizzing by i'm pop the trunk i'm out there with the jack you know it's i'm drunk it's late cars are whizzing like two feet by me. And I kind of get the lug nuts off, whatever. And then this guy pulls up in his car. And he goes, stop, stop, stop. And I go, what? I'm like on my knees doing the whole jack thing.

And he goes, stop, stop. And I go, what, what, what? Pushes me out of the way. I'm so confused. And just starts doing it. He was like a Hispanic guy. He barely spoke English and he's doing the lug nuts. He's like, I got it, I got it.

And I was like, dude, I got it. I can do it. He's like, ah. He finished it in like two seconds, got in his car and left. Wow. I tried to give him money. I tried to thank him.

He just said, no, no, no, no. And he got out of there. It was Javier Bardem. It's the weirdest thing. It was like some pay it forward thing. Unbelievable. Yeah, well, I mean, it's just a good guy. You know, shit.

If you know how to do that, why would you not help someone who's just in hell? I mean, shit. I guess. But I tell you, that whole drive home, like, is this a fake? Did he put the lug nuts on? You know, it was terrifying. He put a chip in your car, he's following you Now he knows where you live

Something was fishy, but it was fine That's fucking amazing Should we do another email? This is a great email from Ice Christ Ice Christ He wrote, pet peeve Ridiculously long emails So it's like a joke within a joke

I love it. They do drive me nuts. But also, look, man, every once in a while, I get it, but save those. And also, there's no need for them, really, because if it needs to be a ridiculously long email, fucking call me. If we have that relationship, give me a call.

Totally, totally. I hate a long email. Ridiculously long voice memos. It's a new voicemail. Brutal. I thought we got rid of voicemail. Does he? Yeah.

And you're like, just call me or text me. What are we doing? He's sitting there like, and another thing. You're like, and another thing. Come on. You're overusing it. You're abusing it. And another thing is fucking hilarious And another thing Come on You're over You're overusing it You're abusing it And another thing

Is fucking hilarious On a voicemail I know I was I'm on my phone At a Starbucks Like huh Oh I got it

That's great I have to take notes On a voicemail That's fucking gold Yeah I just Yeah I'm not a big I feel like we just Got rid of voicemails

And then we brought this back in i'm like oh this is the new thing texts are great because you can kind of like be you like all right let me do let me look at this okay i can go back you can kind of like know when to do it you're sucked in that whole time and it it does feel like a little soul sucking a long if you're a voice memo person you better be fucking spinning a good tale. Right. Totally. Totally. It better be worth it.

Hate it. Here we go. Crack this premise. Florida joke idea. In Florida, it's from Jimmy P. In Florida, everything is open and masks are optional in most places. Ironically, everyone in Florida is on the lam and happy to wear a mask everywhere. I don't know if there's really a premise there

I think that might have been I think we're done with that I don't think it's horrible I just feel like I've heard it For now And there's kids in Florida I don't know if everyone's on the lam I don't know if I'm going with it

A lot of retirees I don't know if we're on the lam here Yeah there's a lot of old people who moved there That's a fun idea I people Who moved there Yeah alright That's a fun idea I like where his head's at No it's not bad I feel like I've heard it enough

That I can't really punch it up Yeah Alright Josh Goodman Hi I'm such a huge fan of you both Just watched the last YouTube Pod And wanted to email

Movie Rex Carnival of Souls Never heard of it Never heard of that Possessor Never heard of that The Gangster The Cop The Devil Never heard of it Never heard of that Possessor Never heard of that The Gangster The Cop

The Devil Never heard of that Jeez this guy's Got some fucking Art house shit Well Carnival of Souls Is like a A PG

1962 Horror indie film I just looked it up Weird Alright Yeah No thank you I hate that weird

Horror shit Give me a good movie I don't want to be scared I don't mind a horror You know I just watched Dana Gould told me to watch Which is a fucking great horror movie And I never would have watched it But I trust his taste

The Thing is great He's obsessed with The Thing He always talks about The Thing I've never watched it No is it good? Yeah it's fucking good It's fucking cool it's a cool movie where you're like all right i get i get why he's into this this is pretty damn cool i definitely trust his taste because that guy knows his shit certain movies transcend genre it's like it's just a cool movie it's just badass

it's a movie that's fun to watch with a lady one night Order in some fucking Thai Have a cocktail What is the thing? Is it a guy? Is it a monster? Gotta watch the movie man I can't tell you Alright That was up there with if I tell you I have to kill you That should have been my pet peeve

That's a fucking annoying one I hate that guy Vince Maggio Big new fan can't believe that you two have collabed in the last year i've been getting really a podcast comedy scene to listen to burr theo burr cigar etc i think i'm a funny guy but i was wondering if you guys could drive if i could drive uh dive into your formula of writing jokes do you have a structure a method also how do you go from yelling jokes in grade school

to the point of realizing you have a talent and actually doing it for work? Big fan, keep doing what you're doing. Vinny from Jersey. Thanks, Vinny. Vinny, good question. What do you think? Well, comedy is, I think it's the equivalent of like

talking about it in class and yelling a joke in class to doing stand-up is the equivalent to like getting into a bar fight and then learning karate or wrestling or boxing. Like you got to learn the fundamentals. You got to learn the beginning part. You got to practice. You got to get, you got to lose a bunch.

Yada, yada. You got, you know, you got the other opponents, they flip you over and you learn from the, from the faults and learn from the mistakes and all that. So if you really want to go for it, you've got to learn the basics, the rule of threes and misdirect and stage presence and all that shit.

So next thing I know, I'm pinned by a sophomore named Chip, I'll tell you. No, yeah, that was a great analogy, man. That's such a good point. I think it's like you just gotta, you're funny to your friends in one way and you're funny to strangers in another. And I think standup is kind of discovering how you're funny to the general public as opposed to just funny to your friend group.

Your friends will give you the confidence. The clubs will give you kind of insight in how you are to the world and not just to your group of friends that you've charmed and won over and who love you for you. And then over time, I think you kind of, you went over a crowd that way because you get that comfort level, but you're just not going to have that comfort level on stage when you're brand new that you have with your friends who you're close to. So I think it's

that as well. Good point. That's the thing nobody you about stand-up is it took me a year or maybe two years just to learn how to stand up there and not stutter and remember everything and hold the mic the right way pull the mic out all that delivery and not stammer and stutter all that shit is just repetition so yeah that's the that's another like charisma and and confidence and all that stuff just comes with the practice. For sure. Yeah, that's a good email, though. I think you figure it out and it gets easier. But your friends love you, and you have to remember that.

Your friends love you for you, and the crowd couldn't give a fuck about you. Some crowds you have to find out, how do I get them immediately like that's the thing about early on in stand-up you don't realize like you need a joke that grabs a crowd immediately so they know that you're not a fucking chump so totally uh that it's an interesting point where your friends you have inside jokes you can kind of like know to go to like an inside joke and get a friend to laugh you don't have that with the crowd you got to build that from square one every time. Have quick jokes that get them

as fast as you can early on, at least. Relatability is so important. That's why I remember being a young comic and opening for Comics on the Road, and they would do 10 minutes on Buffalo because we're in Buffalo. I'm like, why are they doing 10 minutes? Oh, they're getting the crowd

on their side. The crowd can relate to this. It's local and now I do that. Every place I go, I try to Wikipedia it or ask the Uber, what's something funny about St. Louis? Or interesting about St. Louis. Remember when we were in Ireland and Quinn just did

10 minutes up top in a theater about Ireland and was fucking murdering. Exactly. And the beauty of it is you get a little 20% extra laugh because they're like, how's this guy know about Dublin? Holy shit. You know, so they're like blown away. I love it. So it's a perfect way to start.

Yeah. And also, yeah, it's just a pro move. Like not everyone's going to do it. You don't have to do it, but it's bonus points if you do. Totally. Pro move. Perfect way to put it. Was that me or you who went?

You go. I just went. All right. Jason L., you guys are my favorite comics. I love Pet Peeves, and I love the drinks and the Is This Anything segment. You guys and List are best at riffing off each other. Why not give Joe a surprise call during the show and what if you took a premise off of your audience via email you riff off that your touch is gold can't wait for the next step i'm down to give to have guests or do surprise

calls i think it might be complicated with the technology right now we're in the fetal stages here but like i mean yeah i'm not opposed to guests at all and especially guests who guests who would love to drink with us but also guests who are sober and like want to have a fucking tea with us it'd be funny too so who gives a fuck sure that would be great yeah i would love to have we know uh 17 of the best joke writers working right now so we could we could hit up anybody and just shooting the shit and drinking with comics is always fun like i miss this so much like i miss like i miss seeing like mike vecchione at the cellar with a bourbon in his hands you know like i miss seeing you know so many comics so yeah god bless you know mikey v and uh nick griffin and all the greats in new york, Gary Goldman, all these comics that we love,

Ryan Hamilton, shit, Roy Wood Jr., so many comics that come to my head. I'm like, I love their jokes so much. Yeah, not to mention, you go down to the Village Underground, you're on at 9.10, you show up at 8.30, you get to see Roy Wood's new stuff, you see Goldman go on,

you see fucking Anthony DeVito's got a new 10 You're like, jeez, there's so much good shit And then it makes you want to write And it just, the cycle continues Yeah, I miss the motivation I miss the kick in the ass But, you know, it'll be back I got one from Griff

Who's a huge fan of you both Tuesday Pastrion member Soon to be Patreon member of this podcast. Can't wait. Thank you, Griff. I like the name Griff Smith. That's a cool name. That sounds like a detective name.

Griff Smith. I like that. Yeah. I've enjoyed the first five eps. Awesome to get an inside look. I would like to recommend you guys a drink. I love giant hard kombucha, and that's giant with a J. Mark's always talking about high noons, white claws, and other seltzers, which I enjoy. But about a year ago, I fell in love with hard kombucha and that's giant with a j mark's always talking about high noons white claws and other seltzers which i enjoy but about a year ago i fell in love with hard kombucha mark have you

ever done hard kombucha i have not but i'm down because i do enjoy a kombucha i love a kombucha i did i did a couple in uh worcester massachusetts they had them at the club and they were interesting uh i was with dina hashem who liked them a little bit better than i did but uh they were good uh let's see what else he's got here's a rub i was gonna fake an email and pretend to be a marketing director for giant to propose this as an approved advertising uh advertising but i love you both and would feel horrible and dumb lying you thanks the truth is i'm not affiliated with this is a long ass fucking email let's get to the fucking uh good stuff here my plan is to get this brand's

attention by showing you two i was able to reach two high profile comics i love it yeah get people this is griff's got the right idea here uh and this guy's already venmo'd us money apparently hey man just fucking yeah if you like and we'll say this on the regular episode if there's a brand of alcohol you like tell them to fucking get in touch with us because this is going to be our bread and butter i think is like right now we're doing our favorite drinks but i'm down to fuck around with some new alcohols i've never tried and that could be a whole new adventure. Totally. Definitely, yeah. Let's get on it.

I'd love to try new shit and this kombucha thing sounds very interesting. By the way, kombucha, great for a hangover. Is it? Oh, yeah, because it's got a little bit of cultures in it or some kind of alcohol or whatever and it's got some vitamins. It really kicks you into high gear.

And good for gut health, maybe. There you go. Alright, we gotta start wrapping it up. We're 43 minutes in here. Let's wrap this up, but guys, keep telling your friends. If you're loving the Patreon, make sure to keep emailing us. OneMoreDrinkWithMarkAndSam at gmail.com.

You know, this has been fucking fun. These fly by, man. I know we're doing 43 minutes. I know. This is great. And keep sending the emails tell your friends uh hit the patreon write a review five star the whole thing just we just want to keep it going and we can only keep it going if you guys keep it going so check out the specials uh out to lunch and you got this and the roof up on the roof, all of it. All of it, baby. And, yeah. All right.

Praise Allah, and hopefully we'll open up soon and see some fucking live comedy. Can't wait. Good times, man. All right. See you guys soon.