We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson - "Bullying Made School A Living Hell" Megan Barton-Hanson, Nadiya Hussain & Calum Scott Open Up

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

In honour of Anti-Bullying Week, we sit down with Nadiya Hussain, Megan Barton-Hanson, and Calum Scott to discuss their personal experiences with bullying and the profound impact it’s had on their lives. From childhood trauma to online harassment, these three open up about the struggles they faced and how they found strength in their vulnerability. We're Talking Bullying. (00:00) Intro (00:39) Nadiya's experience of bullying growing up (07:54) Megan's experience of bullying at school (12:21) Love Better Tour Ad (13:38) Calum's experience of coming out and the subsequent bullying Get Your Tickets to the Love Better Tour: https://bit.ly/lovebetter-YT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello and welcome to We're Talking. This week, we're shining a spotlight on anti-bullying week and showcasing the powerful stories of our guests who have firsthand experience of bullying. From the playground to parliament, in person or on the internet, bullying can affect both adults and children. I hope these stories of vulnerability can help spread awareness and empowerment for anyone affected by bullying. What are some of those other incidents that happened while you were a little girl at school? because there's many that you've talked about. Yeah, I was really badly bullied at school from the age of four to about 17, 18.

Same two boys. And I never told anyone about that. They would flush my head down the toilet. They would expose themselves to me. They have tried. tried to sexually assault me whilst I'm in the street while I was in the street. They have held me down and smashed my fingers into hinges of doors. They have ripped my hair.

They'd rip my hair out. It was every single day from the age of about four or five to about 17 or 18. Every day. Every day. Yeah. I even went to an old girl school. But they were next door in the old. boys school so they would wait for me to come out so it's almost like they got their fix um

and the reason why they bullied me was because i was the i had the darkest skin in school they were very fair rosy-cheeked Pakistani boys so they pretty much you know they've same sort of culture as me but they were bright white with rosy pink cheeks and dark black hair and that's what our community celebrated. Fair skin, men. Perfect. Tick, tick. They're perfect.

And there I was. Short, dark skin girl with really big curly hair. And they just, they just, that was there. That was the thing. And they bullied me every single day, every single day. So this is one where there was some incidents that happened for me when I was a child. but sparingly. Okay, yeah.

And what's interesting for me is it's not until I've started having these conversations here with we need to talk where I've begun to contemplate on how those incidents have shaped who I've become today. You had,

this is severe trauma that's happened for an extended period of time in your adolescence when you're trying to figure out who you are and what your identity is. So how do you think that impacted how you saw yourself as a little girl?

I think it's made me really, really protective of my feelings and it's made me really insular. I think it's made me not trust people because I don't trust people easily. But it's also made me a people pleasing. I think. I just want to make everyone happy because I don't want, like, I don't want negativity and I just want like, people pleasing all the time. It's like as long as everyone's happy, as long as everyone's happy. But that's probably partly to do with the fact that, you know, I grew up in quite a

volatile home. You know, my parents always argued. I just wanted everyone to always be happy. We didn't talk about anything bad. It was just always be happy. But it's, yeah, it's also made me really strong. It's also made me a really good mom. Okay. But as a little girl, how do you think it impacted you? It got so bad that one afternoon, I remember my cousin. They were a little bit older than I was. And we were watching a film.

Clearly not for me, because it was like an 18 or something. And somebody had committed suicide. And I was like, oh, So that's it. So if you commit suicide, you're just dead and everything else just stops. So in my head, bearing in mind at this age, I don't know what death is. Don't really understand death. Yes.

You were how old at this time? 10. 10? You're 10. 10. Something twigged in my head at 10 that that's what I should do. And this person had taken loads of pills. I thought, wow, those pills lying around everywhere.

because we didn't have, there was no such thing as a safe cupboard for pills. It was like paracetamol here and blood pressure meds here. So I took out back in the day when you could get 100 paracetamols in a pack. I was like, that'll do. Took those off the shelf, went upstairs with a big glass of water. I thought, I'll just take as many of those as I can. Because that's what happened. I'll die.

And then I don't have to go to school tomorrow. That is how innocent it was. It was if I die, I don't have to go to school. tomorrow. And that's what I did. So I was like, okay. And I was 10, I couldn't swallow pills. And they were huge. So I was trying to swallow them. And I probably had a liter of water in me at this point. My bladder was bursting. And I was like, right, I'm just going to have to crush them and just chew them. And I think I, so I started to chew them and crush them in my mouth. And then I was just like swallowing them. I was like, this is gross.

and I just couldn't do it. I may have got through maybe three or four. Okay. That's it. Three or four at best. And my dad called us all down because he had something to tell us. So I'll give this a break. I'll go down.

So I went downstairs and then he told us that my mom was pregnant with a baby. And then I went upstairs and I kind of packed everything away and I said, okay, well, I'll do it once the baby's born because I really want to me. meet the baby. Wow. And then that baby was born and I fell so in love with him. And he's 30 next month. Look at that. Yeah. Would you say he saved your life? Yeah. Yeah. I say that to him all the time. That's that that that is one of those where I can see you as this little girl. Just saying, I just don't want to be, it wasn't even, I don't want to go to school as that. I don't want to go through that pain of those nasty boys.

Yeah. You know? And in that one moment, your brother, who was not yet here, saved you because of your love. Yeah. For him. Yes. Similar to your grandfather. Yeah.

Who had this love for these children who were not. Right? But you had this love for your brother. You know, it hurts me to hear that you had no one to talk to during that time, you know? So where and how do the bullying start? I mean, it wasn't severe bullying where I'd be like, okay, no, that's a lie. It was basically slut-shaming, bullying,

and for my appearance as well. But things like that, I could just kind of think, well, there's more to me than my looks. But I think all kids get bullied at school to some extent. Kids are cruel and they're going for their own share, load of hormones, loads of insecurities. So if it made someone feel better one day saying, oh my God, like you've got a big nose

or your ears stick out a bit or whatever, it hurt, but it wasn't like beyond end all. And then a guy who was in year 11 was talking to me, so I was like, oh my God, I'm so popular. Like he wants to talk to me. Ask me to send him a sexually explicit video, but I was too scared.

And thank God I didn't. Didn't send it to him. and he goes oh I bet you haven't even like masturbated have you and at this point honestly I hadn't but to seem older I was like yeah I have the next day my life was a misery for like the next year until he left school basically that's the gal that fingered herself oh my god she's not even that hot like oh that's disgusting why is she doing that I'd walk down on corridors that's the girl all my girlfriends were like

why would you say that to him we're so embarrassed like barely wanting to hang out with me anymore. It was hell. And then imagine going home and I've had all that all day and I can't even tell my mum because it just wasn't spoken about in our culture like in society for women to speak about masturbation. So I can't go home and say, oh, I was trying to impress an older boy. I didn't send him the video. I ever said, yes, I had done the acts, which I hadn't. And now I'm getting bullied for it. It was so hard. What was being made fun of by who and why? So my ears like stuck out so bad When I was talking about the bullying

To my mum I didn't feel comfortable Telling her about the sexual side of it But I could tell her about the appearance side So I'd go home crying I'd just say look mom I'm like You can't even go into school Everyone's bullying me for my ears Please please please please

They had no money So he went to the NHS I was like look she's getting bullied And they'd done it on the NHS for my ears Really? When I was 17 Because it worked like school was hell, I'd get anxiety. I used to remember being sick in the morning because I was so anxious to go in.

We'd sit in assembly and I remember vividly hearing guys say, look at Megan and look at, I don't know, they just make up a name, Polly, who's my best friend at school, look at the difference. There's no competition, Polly's so much horror. And I was just like, damn, like, not only is my life of misery to deal with that older asshole, now people are like ripping into me for my looks. I was like, what, and I'm not good at class. Like, what hell? Right. It was a lot.

Right. So what is that, is that procedure? Is it literally, it pulls your ears back? Yeah. Permanently. Permanently, but they'd done it. But in such a mild way, it barely made any difference. And because of my age, when you wake up from the anesthetic,

the only pain killer, they're trying to give you his paracetamol. So, oh, wow. The pain. It was bad. Oh, my gosh. So, so do the kids at school know that you then get this procedure. She didn't think this far ahead, did she?

Went in with a bandage around my head, like an absolute... Wow. One of the boys that bullied me slapped my head with the new ears. Imagine I had blood poured on my net. It was just kids are evil. Honestly, I feel like if I have kids, they're being homeschooled because that is a fairer environment. Yeah.

It's horrible. It's horrible. And then does anything change? Do they now become nicer to you or nothing has changed? Well, they can't say shit about my ears, but they're still, like, still the slut shamey was there. But I don't know, I feel better, I guess, because I just thought, fuck you, you've said something that he was willing me for. I've fixed it. Now what are you going to say?

I think you do as a human, you build up resilience and tolerance, whether that's pain, physical pain or emotional pain. You do. Like, there's only so much someone can take. So I was just like, at that point, I thought, whatever. At least I've fixed it. You're still fat. You're still a bully. Whatever.

I'm better than you. Yeah. Let me ask you something. When was the last time you really thought about how you love? Not who, how. Most of us don't. We're moving fast, doing life, hoping love just shows up and sticks. But that's not how real connection works.

That's not how lasting love works. So I've created something different. And it's called Love Better and I'm taking it on tour starting October 26. This is a live experience for anyone who wants to build a deeper, more meaningful connection. We'll impact the lessons from the couples you've seen me coach. I'll share stories I've never told on camera and you'll walk away with the tools that you can use right away. Come solo, bring a partner, bring your crew, everyone's welcome. I'm coming to Bristol, Brighton, Cardiff, Glasgow, Manchester, Birmingham, and London.

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See full terms at mintmobile.com. So we're back in the hole. Yeah. Okay. And I picture the way that you've described it is it is, I mean, you know, the boys are boys. The lads. Yes. They're not boys.

They're lads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And you were, you were a lad. I was, yeah. I mean, yeah. I was a skateboarder. afraid to fall and injure myself and, you know, I was, I was one of the boys. It was all of us was,

you know, there was no girls in our group at all. So it was all just lads that used to build tree swings and, you know, and got into the field and, and build dens and skateboard and BMX and stuff. It was all very sort of laddy in that way. You know, back then, I mean, I was 13, 14 years old. I wasn't even looking in that direction. I wasn't even thinking about girls. I wasn't even thinking about girls or sex or anything like that it was very much like I'm with my boys innocently I guess and it was only when my mate

started getting girls in our group and part of our group that I was a bit like you know like oh girls suck like I just want to skate and they're taking attention away from us and and then you know then it would be like oh

well surfy's got a friend that thinks that you're good looking and why don't you get with her and then then it was question and it was like, why do you not want to have a girlfriend? And I was like, I'm a skateboarder, I'm fine. And I was like, yeah, but like, you're just going to be the only one that done. And it's weird.

And I think that sort of questioning had gone deeper than I had thought it would. And, you know, I'd go home and I'd think about it all the time. And it comes to a point where I wasn't eating properly. I wasn't sleeping properly. And I was getting ill with it. You know, I was questioning myself at a young age. about why I was different, you know. So you felt different, how?

I just felt like I, all of a sudden, didn't fit in, didn't feel like I belonged all of a sudden. All I wanted to do was feel part of something. So then as soon as there was the questions about, you know, why I didn't want this, why I didn't want that, I felt segregated. And immediately all that fear and all that anxiety and worry about self-worth all came back,

there had come a point where I was with one of my friends on, sat up on this half pipe and, you know, he was just talking. And it came up again. And I was just so down and fed up of the questioning. When he asked me, I was like, I don't know if I'm interested in girls. And he was like, what are you trying to tell me a gay? And in that split second, I felt like my world was either going to change drastically or I would hide it and I would take that.

darkness and I would live it alone. So I made the decision to say, maybe. And he was like, all right. And then he skated away and he told all the other boys. And then we all went home. And then the next day, nobody came to call for me. Nobody came to, to, to want me to school. And I went up to school and none of them wanted to talk to me at lunch. And, you know, that was my whole, my whole life was my friendship group at that point. So for me, that my life was ruined from something I didn't even really understand. And that, that was, that was horrible. That was probably one of the lowest, probably one of the lowest times in my life, I'd say, personally. Just feeling like all that rejection, all of those doubts about self-worth just came straight back to say, if there was almost

proof that I don't deserve love, that I'm not enough, that, you know, all of that, all the things that I was trying to tell myself I wasn't, you know, was, that was, for me, was clear proof that, you know, I wasn't worth it. Who do you, or who did you go to in that time? So, to have gone from a fun-loving, you know, big energy with the guys to then, you know, be the polar opposite of that. A couple of people had started to notice, and one particular guy had come up. to me and he'd said like, I've just noticed that you're like on your own a lot more and stuff

like that is like everything cool. And I was like, yeah, obviously didn't want to say anything to anybody else for fear that that might happen again. And he's like, do you mind me asking you personal question? I was like, yeah. He was like, are you gay? So I was like, no, no, like I might, like, buy probably or something. He's like, I'm gay. And I was like, oh. And for a second, I was like, oh, okay, I can relate now. I feel like I'm, I'm happy. I feel like I'm part of something again. Right. And he, I mean, we were best friends for a long time.

And after Britain's got talent, we drifted, which was sad. But he saved me, I'd say. He saved me from myself. He saved me from the darkness that I was feeling because I had somebody who I could relate to. He was unforgivingly himself. He was unapologetically himself. And people knew that he was gay and, And he was like, I don't care.

And that confidence, I was like, it was like looking at my sister again. Right. It's like somebody who is just confident enough to be able to show their heart and so all to people and to just be like, I don't give a fuck. Right, right. But you were at that time, though,

you had still not publicly stating. And I think that internally, you were questioning yourself. Yeah, yeah. So you thought maybe I'm bisexual. Yeah, yeah. I'm not sure. Yeah.

Right. So how do you begin to then truly? identify sexuality. You know, as kids, like, you'd see FHM magazine or you'd see, you know, the magazines that, you know, my mate's dad would have. Right.

And you'd look through and you'd see stuff and it'd be like, I wouldn't feel any way about it. And so then you start thinking, okay, well, maybe I am gay then, and then, you know, I'd start to explore that and I found quickly that I was more attracted to men than women.

Still, I'm attracted to women, but just not as much. And I think, you know, I still wasn't, I still wasn't confident in my sexuality. And in fact, because of the loss I'd had with my friends, I resented that part of myself. And, and, and had done for a long, long time. I think I would say in the last, I'd say five years,

have just gone full 180 on it. And I'm like, I love who I am. But that's only in the last five years. Oh, yeah, yeah. So in your team, in your team, truly in your 20s. So I would imagine that friendship group that you had, they never came back.

No. No. And, you know, I look on it now and I go, I don't blame them. We were young. Sometimes what you don't understand can scare you. And I don't, you know, I don't feel anything towards that. I don't hate them.

I'm not sort of, like I said earlier, I wouldn't change it. Because I am who I am because of that experience. and I have the compassion and the love and the need to want to help other people through their situations because of what I've experienced. So I wouldn't change it. And so in that way, I don't resent them. And, you know, we've seen each other out since.

And it's fine. It's fine. But there was a lot of hate, a lot of internalized hate for a long, long time. And I always used to tell people if I could, almost like a matrix, red and a blue pill. If I could take a pill and get rid of being gay, I'll do it instantly. Now, I'd bat them out of your hand. How many discounts does USAA auto insurance offer? Too many to say here.

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