We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson - CHER LLOYD EXCLUSIVE: THE TRUTH ABOUT X FACTOR WITH ONE DIRECTION! I REFUSED TO BE NOTHING.

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

"I Proved Them All Wrong - One Direction Were Like Family" Join us for an inspiring episode as Cher Lloyd delves deep into her journey from a breakout star on X-Factor to overcoming the challenges of media scrutiny and personal transformation.  At just 16, Cher quickly rose to fame, finishing fourth on the show and charting hits in both the US and UK. Yet, behind the scenes, she faced intense media torment that shaped her public image into something she didn’t recognise.  In this heartfelt interview, Cher reveals the true self behind the 'villain' persona once painted by the press, sharing insights into the real-life impacts of fame and the media's role in it. Cher also opens up about her personal growth through motherhood and how it shifted her career trajectory, discussing the industry's cold shoulder during her pregnancy and her decade-long partnership with her husband, Craig.  After a significant break from music, Cher is back, ready to reclaim her space in the music industry with newfound resilience and empowerment.  Tune in to hear how Cher Lloyd transforms adversities into a powerful narrative of self-acceptance and determination, proving that stepping back can be a pathway to leaping forward. If you or someone you know needs support, please see the charities below: APNI (The Association for Post Natal Illness) - https://g2ul0.app.link/L4J3lVyowQb Mind (useful contacts for post natal depression) - https://g2ul0.app.link/6IyLaUmowQb Follow Cher Here: Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/RajyCUByoQb Cher's New Single 'Head Down’ - https://g2ul0.app.link/fWjunOvyoQb Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod Get your tickets to 'An Evening with Paul C. Brunson' here: https://bit.ly/keeplove-megaphone Pre-order Keep Love here: https://lnk.to/keeplovebook Sections: 00:00 Intro 02:23 How are you feeling? 04:13 Exploring Cher's Childhood 06:48 Impact of Cher's Upbringing on Her Adult Life 09:27 Cher's Life in the Romany Community 15:42 UK Media's Negative Portrayal of the Traveller Community 16:52 The Beginnings of Cher's Singing Career 18:43 Why Cher Decided to Pursue a Pop Career 22:18 Cher's Audition on X-Factor: A Look Back 30:48 Advice Cher Would Give to Her 16-Year-Old Self 32:41 Reality vs. Portrayal: Cher on the X-Factor 37:34 Mental Health Support for Cher During X-Factor 39:38 Inside Cher's Relationships with X-Factor Judges 44:31 Living with Other Artists: Cher's Experience 44:55 Reaction to Liam Payne's Post: A Discussion 48:57 Negative Media Coverage of Cher During X-Factor 51:01 Keep Love Ad 51:57 Tinder Ad 52:48 Cher Performs 'Stay': Reflecting on Her Uncle's Passing 57:08 Paul's Admiration: Wishing He Could Sing Like Cher 57:35 Cher's Career After the X-Factor: What's Next? 58:51 Cher Reflects on 'Swagger Jagger' Years Later 01:01:51 How the UK Media Labeled Cher Post-X-Factor 01:05:22 Examining Sexism in the Music Industry: 2010 vs. Today 01:11:23 Cher's Success in the US: A Detailed Look 01:14:56 Cher Discusses Her Struggle with Belonging in the US 01:19:39 Why Cher Returned to the UK 01:20:10 Does the UK Now Love Cher? 01:20:33 Cher's Future Career Plans Revealed 01:22:29 Cher and Taylor Swift: A Musical Collaboration 01:25:32 Cher Proudly Talks About Being a Great Mom 01:26:25 How Parenthood Changed Cher: Becoming a Better Person 01:28:07 Cher and Her Husband Craig: Their Relationship Story 01:34:08 How Motherhood Transformed Cher 01:36:40 Cher's Battle with Postnatal Depression 01:42:25 Cher's Relationship with Social Media Explored 01:45:02 Finding Empowerment 01:46:32 Cher's Most Memorable Conversation 01:51:04 Paul's Key Takeaways from Cher's Journey 01:53:07 Adobe Express Ad Sponsored by: Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB Adobe: https://www.adobe.com/uk/express/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Use code savings to become a shipped member for half off only $49 at shipt.com slash offer. Terms apply. It's been a long time coming. It would be nice for people to maybe get to know the real me. What do you believe people think when they hear your name, Cher? What's your name? My name's Cher.

I came to the X Factor to get his approval. You are everything that a pop star should be. Share Lloyd scored a number one hit with her first single by the time she was just 18 years old. The most watched season in X Factor history. Over 14 million people watching every... episode. What advice would you give that 16-year-old girl? Don't be so naive. Things will get ugly. I told myself.

How do you feel you were portrayed? I was the villain that year, and I was only 16 years old. It seems wild. It was called to hate Sher Lloyd. What's something that you're proud of? I've performed with Taylor Swift. Hold over a second. Taylor Swift performed with Sher Lloyd. Oh, stop.

I could tell you the craziest. stories. Like what? I was promoting my album in the US. I was told what I needed to do to make this record take off is to find out where I'm gonna try and get with him. My husband was even stood in that office. Your husband was in the room. Now that you're back, do you feel as if people love you? Before we get into it, I just wanted to mention something interesting that we've noticed recently. Around nine and ten of you watching these videos aren't subscribed yet. Now, no pressure at all, but if you're enjoying the content, subscribing is a super simple way to stay connected with us, and it also helps us out a ton with growing the channel. We also look at every comment, so make

sure you comment with your guest ideas below, and we'll be sure to take note, and we'll try to get your favorite guest on future episodes. Please be aware that this episode covers topics that some listeners may find challenging. If you're affected by anything discussed, we've included links in the show notes to organizations, and charities that can provide support. I appreciate you being here, so thanks for watching, and let's get into it. I have not seen you ever do a full-length interview. No.

In your entire career. No. Why not? Just hasn't come up. I think a lot of the time, you know, people might look at like a pop star like me and think that I don't have much more to say. That might be the reason.

Well. Often people have like this preconceived idea of who I am. And that might be a memory that they have from many, many years ago, 15 years ago. And I always try and explain to people, like imagine yourself when you were back at school, back in high school. Do you think you're that person now? No. You're not. I'm not that person anymore.

What do you believe is the preconceived notion? What do you believe that people think when they hear your name share? I don't want to feel that I am almost aggressive. You know, tough, fiery, have an attitude problem. And whenever I meet someone new, and have a conversation with me, the response I always get is, oh, you're not at all like I thought you were going to be. And I always think, well, what did you think I was going to be? Mean? So, yeah, it's, you know, it would be nice for people to maybe get to know the real me.

Yes. Yes. This is the space for it. Yeah. Right. So in order to really get to know you, can we go back to childhood? Yeah. I'm so. fascinated about not just where you grew up, but how you grew up. So when you think about your childhood, how would you describe it? My childhood, I'd like to say it was just like any regular childhood. You know, it was me, three siblings, had a mom and a dad. But at times it was troubling. I don't feel like I can say that I had everything set out for me and everything was okay and I was secure as a child because I wasn't. I grew up in a council house on a council estate and not always is that a negative thing.

True. I made lots of friends on that council estate. We all looked after each other. If you never needed anything, you could just pop two doors down and say, Mom's run out of sugar, can we have some sugar? And everyone would help each other out. But at the same time, I did grow up around things that I feel now as an adult and as a mother, children probably shouldn't ever be exposed to.

I have spoken about it before, and I don't know whether it would make, you know, my parents feel uncomfortable. I speak about it. I'll touch on it too much. But I did deal with my dad not being around for long periods of time due to being put in prison. And watching my mum have to struggle to bring us children up was tough. And I also felt embarrassed as a child just knowing that I had to explain why my dad wasn't at home

because he was in jail. But that was a period of his life that he's lived through, and I also understand now as an adult, that people can become better people. Yes. My dad did his time for whatever he did. He was a great dad, though. Like, he only ever showed me love and affection. And I hold no grudge at all to my father. and the relationship I have with my parents today, incredible, absolutely incredible.

And as grandparents, oh. Yes. How do you believe that any of what was happening shapes you as an adult? I think that was the beginning of me forming a thick skin and learning how to either hide those emotions. or try and deal with them by myself, which makes me really sad, because I don't feel like any child should have to feel that way, feel that they have to take on all that stress and embarrassment and have to deal with it alone.

But I do feel like it did shape me. Looking forward to my career, it almost was like a glimpse into what I was going to feel like. leading on into adulthood. Yes. But at the same time, all of these things that happened to me, I am fully aware that they're just part of the journey and sometimes having that struggle

makes you a better person, a decent person. And I think as I've gone through this long, everything, the glitz and the glamour, be a nice, genuine, decent human being. Yes. That's number one for me. Yes.

You know, so insightful, too, that you talked about how that made you emotionally have to manage yourself, right? It made you a bit distant. Yeah. And, you know, not to label you this, but those are characteristics of someone with an avoidant attachment. That's me. That was you. Okay. That was me.

And what's so interesting to me about avoidant people who are avoiding is, is yes, you're dealing with those issues. But at the same time, a lot of, I would say most of the CEOs, uberly successful people, are avoidance. And it's because of this idea that, you know what, I have to take on the world and it's only me. It's me against the world. And I can do it. Yeah. Yes. Yes, exactly that.

And I think a lot of me does that now. Yes. I have a box in my mind. I put all of the bad stuff in the box. We lock it away because we've got stuff to do. Yep. I can see it already. I can see it.

And you're like, yeah, it's me against the world. And I'm going to win. I'm going to make it happen. No matter what you're going to throw at me, I'm going to bat it away and I'm going to carry on. Yes. All right. So this is interesting.

These are things I didn't know about you. This is good. This is good. Can we talk about you being part of the Roma community? Yeah. This to me is so incredibly interesting because I don't feel as if we have a large percentage of people in the Roma community. Yeah.

In the United States. Right. And from my research, I saw, is it Romani? Is that how you pronounce it Romani? Yeah, that's right. Is one of the largest ethnic communities in Europe, one of the largest in Europe. So to you, what does that mean to be a part of that community and exactly what is that community?

Well, so I am what you would say, half of a traveler. And my mom is from that community. My dad is not. Now that in itself is a big thing. That was a massive thing because it's not usual for a traveler or gypsy to marry someone who is not. And I'm sorry, just to ask you that too is, Are those terms, is it politically correct? I don't know now.

It is, okay, okay. Yeah, you can be a gypsy or a traveler. Yeah, that's absolutely correct. You know, I think growing up as a child, one of the things that we would face was the use of other words, put us down, make us feel like dirt. I remember being in school and people saying like, I hate to say it, but they'd call you a pikey. And that was just like a dagger straight to the gut, because you knew it was coming from this horrible, mean place.

But they also were children. So you have to think where did that come from? For a child to be like that towards another child, you have to think where that's. You have to think where that energy comes from. And often it would come from parents, adults. And we still do suffer that stigma in the UK today. Yes. There is this thing, this thing still around Roma,

travellers, Gypsy community, where we are viewed as, whole as not decent people. Not true. Some statistics that are startling here, 47% of Roma people in England have experienced some form of ethnic assault. Yeah. 35% of those were physically attacked. And in the United Kingdom, 200,000 Romani exists. 200,000. So, so, so, so, a massive population. So how, at what point do you begin to writing ethnicity and race? A lot of people don't know this, right? But this is my interpretation is that race is typically physical characteristics, whereas ethnicity are cultural characteristics. What do you do as a culture? So at what point do you

begin to see, wow, you know, as Roma, I am different. These are the things that I do. Of course. I think a big thing for me in this culture is that we are so strong on family. Family sticking together no matter what. And often in this community, children don't leave. So we tend to stay with our parents, whether that be moving on the same land, or maybe if you've moved to a house, you moved into houses, you move on the same street, You stay close. Interesting.

So growing up on that street that I lived on, I had one uncle next door. My other uncle and his wife was two doors down. My nan lived down the street, same street, and then the other uncle lived just around the corner. We stuck together. We just grouped together, stuck together, and we helped each other.

It's almost like your own little village. of family. And I think that's something that's really stuck with me because there's something in me that draws me to be with my parents. Yes, yes. Now, it's the traveling community. So is literally the community travels?

Right. Okay. All right. So when you were born, first year, you were in a wagon the first year, right? So I don't really know much. about early childhood for me. I think a lot of times,

I don't know whether my parents struggled to talk to me about when I was an infant. I don't know whether there was a lot going on for them at that time mentally. Okay. And their situations. I don't think they had an easy time, though. But I do have really fond memories

of traveling all around the UK. You do. With other family members. and I've got cousins that I love and I love to spend time with that still do live in trailers, what people in the UK would call caravans. And honestly, if you could meet my family and understand them and their culture and how they live,

I think it would change your perspective on Roma or travelers, gypsies, it totally changed your perspective. Unfortunately, I feel like the UK media has done nothing but damage for the community. Okay. I really do. Okay. When you say change the perspective for me, I'm being introduced. Yes.

So I'm brand new. So to me, this sounds cool. Traveling around me talking about with grandma and everyone. What do you believe the perception is and how has the media? helped to create a negative stigma? So for me, I feel like different TV shows such as My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, TV shows like that,

I think it's impacted negatively. They were reality TV shows, and of course they're trying to be as shocking as possible. But what I feel people didn't understand is that that was only a proportion, a small proportion of a community. Okay.

So to base your, you know, your belief of what a community is like on just a very small group of people isn't cutting it? Right. It doesn't work. Growing up with family, at what point do, does becoming a singer,

enter your mind, especially as a career. So for me growing up, my family, they've done it to all four of us children. It's constant boosts of support. You're going to be a star. You're going to do big things, even though my mom and dad had barely anything. We were not well off. Like, things were tough, but both my parents would always say to all four of us children, whatever you want to do, you're going to do it.

You're just going to do it. So I already had that sense of, you know, of course I'm going to do it, no matter what. But then on the other hand, I also had grandparents on my dad's side that was supporting me in terms of, oh, you want to take singing lessons? Fine, let's go do some singing lessons. So at like the age of nine, I started going and meeting up with this singing coach who taught me how to sing, but I was singing country. What were you? I was a singing pop music.

I was singing country. Okay. Because I grew up around that music. But I think the biggest thing is having that family to spur you on and have that belief. Yes. It just made me want to do it. But as a hobby at that point, right? Or were you thinking, I'm going to make a career out of this early?

Oh, yeah, from the very beginning. It's so funny now because I have a daughter. And at her age, I was saying to people in their face, I'm going to be a pop star. Really? So what age is that that you're saying this? I was like six years old. Six, really? Six years old.

I'm going to be a singer. But Sher, what do you think inspired you to know I'm going to be a pop star? I just think it was ingrained in me. Because when I would sing, I did. detach from the world. That's the only way I can describe it. It does something to me. Like, it's like a high when I sing. And I think from being really, really young and living through some of the stuff I had to live through, I take myself off to my bedroom and I had this little karaoke machine. And I put the karaoke machine on, I'd sing and I truly believe in my mind that I was

on this big stage and everyone was there because they wanted to watch me. And my mind would just go away. It would just drift off. It was bliss. It was your safe space. Totally. Because I couldn't speak to anyone. I didn't know how to speak to people and tell them how I was feeling.

So that was definitely, that was my runaway. As your runaway. At this young age, even, you know, going, into adolescence before X-Factor. You had family. Did you have any friends outside of family? Not really. It's, you know, it's one of those things where even just before the show, and I was still

at high school then, just before I went on to the X-Factor, I lived quite close to the school. So on break times and our lunch break, I used to go home. home and I'd sing straight back to that carry rookie machine and I'd sing and my mom would even tell people now because they will not believe her yes even on her school break she'd come back she'd practice that's incredible yeah that's all I did so at that point you're focused is the focus I'm I'm going to be I'm going to be somebody yeah what are the people at school I think some people thought I was crazy. I really do. I remember having this like argument with a teacher.

Because academically I was not good. I was not good. My concentration was bad. I had a bad attitude. I didn't, I didn't want to conform to being in a school. I didn't like that routine, you know, sit down, learn, wear this uniform, read this book. I didn't like it. So I had a bit of a discussion with a teacher once because she wanted me to do something I didn't want to do. And she said to me, you're going to end up being nothing. If you don't do this work, you're not going to amount to anything. And I turned straight to her and I said, I'm going to be a star. I'm going to be a star.

And she laughed at me. She laughed at me. And, you know, rightly so, I was a brink. ratty teenager. You know, I didn't want to conform. I said I was going to be a star. But yeah, she just, she didn't believe. But I knew she didn't believe. But it still did not affect me in the slightest. I just had this goal, this vision in my mind and nothing was going to stop me. What do you believe, especially reflecting back now, this is helpful for so many people who doubt themselves. It feels like at that age, you're at what, what, 14?

15, 15, 16. 15, 16. So at that age, you had no doubt, an age where we have perhaps even more doubts, right? Yeah. What do you believe it was about you, about the environment, about what you were seeing, breathing, eating, that allowed you to have no doubt that you were going to be this thing over here, which was a pop star? I think because I saw so many other people in my life not get to be somebody. And that's a sad thing to say, because all those people, my family, have such amazing qualities. But I do understand that my mother didn't get to live out of her dream. My mom wanted to be a dancer. She didn't get to do it.

You know, I'm sure that lots of other people in my extended family had dreams. dreams that they wanted to achieve and they didn't get to do it. I think having that in my mind and the environment that I grew up in, I was like, I have to be. I have to be somebody because if I don't, then what is, what is this? I don't want this. I had to do it. So you did it. I did it.

You did it. I did it. Interview done. You did it. That's it. We're good. Wow. So you did it.

Let's begin to talk about how you did it. Yes. Because this is a story. Yeah. From what I understand, you had auditioned for X Factor before you made it. I did. I did. I was 14 years old. I went along to the audition and I'm pretty sure I sang a Dolly Parnsel.

In hindsight, that wasn't what I should have done. I shouldn't have sang a country soul. I didn't want to be a country artist. But I did feel quite a lot of pressure from family members because they loved when I sang country. So yeah, I auditioned. I didn't even get through to see the judges. Not even the first round.

And there's like three before you get to see the judges. I just, yeah, it just didn't happen for me. But I took that experience, went away. And then when they reopened the auditions for 16 years and over, that's when I went back. All right. So in that time between the first rejection and they opened it up for the 16 overs, during that time, you walk away thinking, I'm still going to be a pop star. Yeah. So you're like, you just got it wrong.

You got it wrong. I'll be back. I'll be back. Yeah. And I think that stayed consistently with me. I've been knocked down a lot of times in this career. But I always go, okay, that was tough, but get buck up. We carry on.

Okay. So you carried on. Talk to me about what could be one of the most epic auditions ever in X-Factor history. How did it happen? Do you know what? I used to sing that Kerry Hilsen song over and over again in my bedroom on that same karaoke machine. I loved the song Like I just

I loved it It didn't even cross my mind That people would be so surprised That a girl like me would sing a song like that So Yeah I went to that audition My mom took me on the train I remember the train was expensive

You know But she used the last of her money To buy the train ticket We went to audition And it just felt like every step of it was like, yeah, you're through, you're through, you're through, you're through, you're through. And it just, it just, it ran away. It ran away.

And it was just shocking to see that, oh, wow, yeah, I'm finally doing it. This is the moment. This is the moment everyone's going to know my name. So you believed this was your moment. I knew. I knew from the second I got there to that audition. I've got this. I've got it, I can do it.

Wow. Now, you just said no one could believe a girl like me would be singing a song like this. Yeah. A girl like you. What do you think, what was the impression of who you were in a song like this? What was the impression of the song?

I was just this small, very small girl, even slimmer than what I am now, young. Sometimes I did come across quite quiet because I was just assessing all the time I was trying to assess my environment all the time so I'd be quiet then when I stepped out on that stage singing that song

that song is like a full confidence 100% I'm here that's what that song is and as soon as I started singing that song I had to become that that's what you do you become the soul

So I think it was, yeah, it was surprising to see this little thing walk out on the stage. A girl like me sing that a song. Now the song, the song selection, can I say superb? Thank you. Superb song selection. Thank you. Soldier boy, turn my swag on. One of my favorites, can I say.

And what I was doing the research, right, because I wasn't in the UK at the time. So I didn't see X Factor that season. but what I understand is it was the most watched season. We're talking about season seven. The most watched season in X Factor history. Over 14 million people in average were watching every episode. I know, I know, but it was the best, the absolute best, the talent on that series of the X Factor. Unmatched. Unmatched. One direction. Really?

Yeah. I mean, you have, because so with the talent, you're living with each other, right? Yes. So you lived with One Direction. Yeah, Rebecca Ferguson. Yes. Mary Byrne, who I love, just as the talent. It's insane.

Like that whole experience, mind-blowing. Yeah. It's one of those where, you know, when you think about it's the most popular of a franchise that continues to be popular, but it was the most. And I think we do need to spend a second on the numbers Because you think in the UK total population Depending on who you talk to, 55, 60 million people So basically you have like a quarter of adults Or more watching it

Everyone talking about it To the point where that's what, 2010 2010 To the point where whenever I say your name So what I did is like the last couple of days I've been saying, hey, you know, Sher Lloyd, Sher Lloyd's coming. Have you heard of Sher Lloyd? Unanimated, everyone remembers you.

And they remember that moment that you stepped on stage and you sang that song. Yeah. When you reflect back, you must be proud of that moment. So proud. Like, massively proud. It feels like it's a different person. Like, I don't quite know that person anymore. but I look back as a 31-year-old mother of two,

I look back at a 16-year-old girl and think, how did you do that? Where did you find the courage? Like, where on earth did you find that courage to say, I'm going to step out onto this stage in front of millions of people and I'm going to do it because I believe I can do it. sometimes I wish I had that same confidence as that 16-year-old girl, because I think as I've aged and I've seen more of the world,

I think it took it from me a little bit, which is kind of sad. Wow, well. So looking back at 31, if you were to go back and give that 16-year-old girl who's about to get on that stage and sing this song, that's going to change her life. What advice would you give her? There's so much. There's so much advice I'd give myself as a 16-year-old.

I think it's hard. It's difficult because I'd love to say that I'd tell her to have her wits about her, and they'll be so naive. This isn't all about the lights and the makeup and the cameras. there's so much more and things will get ugly but you're going to have to figure out a way to deal with them

because they're going to happen to whether you like it or not. So the fact that you would say that to me it sounds like you're saying at 16 you didn't realize things would get ugly. I didn't know. Honestly, I was oblivious. I truly believed that going on a show like The X Factor was going to be just fun.

fun, fun, and I'm going to get to sing, which is exactly what I wanted. But it wasn't just that. There was so much more, so much more. Let's talk about it. What was happening with X Factor? Because, you know, I've done reality TV for so many years now. And I think I've seen you say this where we have to understand that it is a singing competition, but it's also a reality television show.

Yeah, of course. at the same time. So let's talk about the reality TV bit of it. Yeah. How do you feel as if you were portrayed versus who you actually were? Yeah, that's a really good one because, like you say, it's reality TV, and they have to entertain people. Unfortunately, it's not just about the singing. And I think because I did have such confidence,

and was such a presence at that time, I think that was a gateway into kind of giving me the character of the villain. I guess I was the villain that year, which tends to happen in reality TV. And I'm not saying that I was perfect because I definitely wasn't. I think I struggled a lot on the show with how, to deal with this instant fame and people's comments towards me, the negative attention, I didn't know how to deal with it.

But at the same time, I look back and I think, I didn't deserve half of the stuff that happened to me. I definitely didn't. And I'd feel the same if that was my daughter. Yes. If my daughter had to go through what I went through, yes. I'd pull her from that.

You would? I'd pull her. A million percent. A million percent. Let's talk about the specifics to set the record straight on this. So you acknowledge, okay, I could have been better. I could have, yeah. So what were the things that you felt like you were doing that you shouldn't have been doing? I'd constantly bite back.

So if, you know, if media had said bad things about me, I'd feel like I had to defend myself. Okay. And I had to bite back. and also I felt like I'd lost all control of my life. Absolutely everything. From the way, but I dress. You know, okay, you have a stylist that styles you.

I didn't like those clothes, but I still was made to wear those clothes. It's all these tiny little micro things that just makes a person lose their mind. I lost my mind on that show. a million percent, I lost it and I didn't feel like I had anyone to turn to. No one to talk to properly because they were on the show. Like, could I trust anyone? Because I tried to talk to other people before and then the next day it's in the newspaper.

So where do you go? Saying that you lost it is a strong statement. Yeah. Could you expand on that? I felt like I wasn't How do I say it without sounding? I felt like I was watching myself from the outside.

Okay. And I was watching myself like spiral. I was spiraling. I was angry, really, really angry because all of a sudden it wasn't fun anymore. And every time I'd open my phone or see a newspaper, it'd be some vile thing that someone's written about me that isn't

true and there's nothing I can do about it because I couldn't speak up, I couldn't correct any of these things and then all of a sudden it feels like the country dislikes me, but that wasn't me. That was the character that I was being portrayed as on a reality TV show. Yeah, yeah, I see it. I see it. And then on top of that, you have no one to turn to. No. No, because of course my parents didn't know this industry.

If you're not in this industry, you don't know what truly goes on. No. There were just so many different sides to it that I think at that age, I wasn't ready. I definitely wasn't ready. But then again, would I be ready mentally for something like that now? I'm not sure. Or is anyone? No.

Because that's the other thing is I wasn't the only one that went through that. There were other people on that show that experienced the negative side of it. And of course, it's show business. I know that you take the good with the bad. But sometimes things got really dark for me. and I was only 16 years old. What about mental health support? I mean, I know a lot has changed in the industry

in terms of reality TV over the years. Yeah. But 2010, what type of mental health support were you getting? There was like a team of people like that to support. I was given antidepressants while on the show. Really? I was 16, yeah, and I was prescribed antidepressants while on the show. I thought that was the norm.

I guess this is showbiz. So you just take them? Yeah, I felt like I had to because I, was it going to get better? Was it going to feel better? Was it going to stop? I didn't know. Goodness. You know, so you have the issues that you're dealing with in terms of,

the press, but also from what I understand and read, there were challenges with the judges. Right. Yes. As well. Yeah. I think because I'd been given this sort of character on the TV show, it made it easy for people to jump on the bandwagon because that happens, right? Yeah. You know, once people start talking negatively about a person, it enables other people to chime in. and that often happened with me. And of course, it makes for great television. So, yeah, I butted heads with judges on the show. More so when I left the show, especially as I'm older now and I'm wiser.

I don't let people speak to me that way anymore. I don't stand for it. So on the show, though, because it's interesting when you think about a show like that, They're judges, but at the same time, I think, at least I feel like they're presented as mentors. Yeah, that's right. So they're presented as, okay, I'm going to support you and I'm going to carry you through this journey that you're on. Did you feel like they were mentors or something else? It's really tricky.

It's a hard one because, you know, it's reality TV. There's always some type of fakery when it comes to reperture. when it comes to reality TV. Facts. Dinner. It happens. Yeah. At the same time, what I will say is when I was on the show,

Cheryl was nothing but good to me. And I had this feeling like she knew. She knew, and she'd always ask me if I was okay. Really? But I knew that she meant it. I knew that when she said it, she was actually saying, are you okay? Yes.

Like, do you need help? Yes. So I felt supported by her. But everything else around, I just felt like it was just for the show. So me personally, being in the mental state that I was in, I didn't feel like I was taken care of. If anything, people just put fuel on the fire.

What was the intention, right? Was the intention, okay, it's a show. So it was like, we're going to play up this, villain angle. Yeah. Was it to turn you into the actual villain? I mean, what do you think it was? I do not know, but one thing that always blows my mind is that the whole purpose of this show is to sign a record deal.

To then go on and make records. Yes. For a Siritan label attached to the X Factor. Yes. Why make someone a villain? when you have the potential to grow that artist, to release records, make loads of money and profit from their artist. Why stop them in their tracks when they're just getting started?

That blows my mind now. Because I'm like, oh, so for the TV show, I was, you know, depicted as this character. But yet, once I leave this show, you're going to sign me and you want me to carry on releasing music, but you'll turn in the public against me. Okay. How am I going to do that?

And how is that going to benefit you either? Right. That doesn't make any sense. Right. And so that's what you felt. You felt like, okay, the public is against me. Yes, but the problem with me is that I never give up. It doesn't matter if I'm on the ground

and I've got nothing left. I never give up. It's just, I think it's just, I think it's just, just ingrained in me, just like to fight, just fight until you've, you know, until you're beaten, does it. Is that, is that, do you feel like you were fighting with some of the judges in there too? Like, the, the relationship with, as I looked at it, right, it's like the relationship with Simon seems to be, you know, good and solid and, you know, you listen, right? With, With Cheryl, that was interesting.

I didn't realize that in terms of this tight connection, it feels like, that tight connection from what you're saying. With Louis... We just butted heads. We really did. He didn't get me. And that's fine, because not everyone is going to like me. I know I'm cool with that.

We all deal with that, don't we? Not everyone is going to connect with you. That's fine. But he just took a disliking to me. But it was strong. And looking back on it, that's kind of weird. Yeah. So do you think it was an actual disliking of you or a disliking of the villain character that they're presenting?

Perhaps. But also people like to jump on the bandwagon because, you know, they want to be involved in that narrative. Yeah. And I think he's known for doing that on several occasions, jumping on the bandwagon. Fair, fair. And there was another judge in there. Is it Natalie? Right, yeah.

So what was the relationship like with Natalie? So she was there for my first audition, and she's absolutely lovely. I didn't really get to speak to her. It's reality TV. Sometimes it looks like you have this relationship. They can make it look like you're really collaborating. together. But that's just not the case. Wow. Okay. The magic of TV? Magic. Magic of TV.

Yeah. So what was it like living with some of those artists? I mean, obviously, Liam Payne's been all over the news. Yeah. Saw that you had a very touching post on Instagram. What was it like living with him and especially one direction who went on to do, you know, phenomenal, phenomenal things? Yeah. I just want to say like, one direction, having my journey with them, I think really helped me. Honestly, I've never met such caring, lovely guys and young, they were young, same as me. But they were all such good people. No ego, decent people who loved to sing as. much as I did.

And that's one of the biggest thing that I'd love to share about Liam. He sung from his heart and it was a gift. Liam had a gift and I just think I'll always remember that about him. There was no one quite like him. Wow. Wow. Yeah. You know, when I think back to you just saying, you know, I really didn't have anyone to talk to.

It sounds like, but you had them. Like, that was pretty much all you had. Yeah. You know, to lean on. And we did have loads of discussion when it came to things that were happening in the moment. We were very close-knit. It was like this little family. And we had such fun.

Like, oh, we'd get into the back of Addison Lee's in taxis. and we'd be like chased by paparazzi and we all thought it was the funniest thing in the world. We would just be laughing and then, you know, I remember lots of time Zane would put on a song on his phone and we'd be singing along to the song and like it was almost like we had this like duo going on and it, yeah, just so many good memories

cooking together, listening to music, playing games, Like a kid should be having fun Those moments Those are the good memories Those are the good ones So that was almost They became your family Yeah

Yeah Yeah like a little X factor family Yes Yeah it was lovely Yeah I could see I could see you light up You know talking about them It just

It makes me remember All the good points Yes About being on the show It wasn't all dark It really wasn't But getting to be with people my age as well.

And I hadn't ever left my small town. And then all of a sudden I'm in London. I've met all of these new interest in cool people. And I'm getting to know them. And literally having the best time of my life. Some of the best memories of when we weren't filming. And we were just hanging out. What about the competitive aspect?

Because you're also competing. with them. But yet it seems like their family. It wasn't there. Okay. It wasn't there, you know. Like, okay, we'd have the show, the live show, and then it gets the results part. And quite honestly, we were all upset that one of us was going to go. It was more like that feeling, not like, I really want to get through. We had none of that energy, none of that energy. It was like, Like, oh, I hope so-and-so is going to be okay if they get voted out because you just form this friendship. And, yeah, the competitive thing, it wasn't really a thing. It wasn't a thing. That's interesting.

Not with us. No. Yeah. Yeah, look at that. Look at that. Yeah. I think that's lovely because you needed that. I needed it.

And, you know, I hate to think what happens with. out that, like, would you have even stayed without having some level of support like that? Yeah. Yeah, it got really dark sometimes, and people would say, oh, did you see what they wrote about you today? And it'd be, like, the strangest things, like the strangest. Like, I remember they'd take photos from my social media of before I was on the show. there was one of like me and my sister and all of a sudden they've written in the newspaper that

me and my sister were in a relationship together like that we weren't that she wasn't my sister she was someone I was in a relationship with just very very odd like plucking things out of nowhere once I was making a cup of tea

at the ITB studios and I'm really expressive when I talk. I talk with my hands and a researcher asked me a question and I turned round to her and I had the spoon in my hand. I just stirred the tea and I turned around and I'm speaking back and I've got this spoon. The next day I'm in the paper. They've made it look like I've hurt her with the spoon. Made it look like I burnt this lady with this spoon. I was like How can I win? How can I? Was anyone else getting the same type of coverage?

I'm not sure, you know, very selfishly. I was just focused on myself. Fair it up, yeah. I was living it. I was focused on trying to avoid the backlash of like, oh, please, not another thing. Yes. I wasn't too focused on anyone else. I think maybe Wagner got a few negative things said, but nothing was quite like... What you got? The tone.

The tone was like the vibe was off. Yeah. It was really off. Can you believe that 80% of relationships end in heartbreak or dissatisfaction? Do you want to know why? Because of the myths we believe about love. So much of what we've been taught is wrong. Like true love.

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Because only a few days before that performance, I lost my uncle. My uncle passed away while I was on the show. and one really dark memory I have about that is that. It's fair. I told myself. You know what, Cher, you know what, and there's their tissues there if you like it. You know what? I think the beauty of a cry is, the beauty of a cry is you're just releasing the emotion, you know?

My biggest problem is that I've always pushed things back and I say to myself, I'll deal with that another time. But then I never do until it hits me. And I'm like, where's this come from? I don't normally cry. You know, going back to why it's so good to release, is that I suspect that you spend your life taking care of everyone around you. I do. Yeah, I definitely do.

And today is for us to take care of you. You know? Yeah. And this emotion that you're feeling connected to this song. And I want to talk about what I saw on this because one is it was beautiful. Thank you. I truly believe you have one of the most just angelic voices that I've heard. Thank you.

you. I love it. I love it. At the very end of that soul, I see that you are holding back emotion. The camera kind of turns, but you could see, it feels like you're, you're letting it go. Yeah. So what was going on for you? So at that time, a couple of days before that performance, one of the researchers came into the house and said to me, are we going to take you back home to do some filming of like you at home for the show? I was excited. Like I've got to be honest. I was thinking I haven't seen my family in weeks. I'd love to go home and film. So I was put on a train with this researcher. It's a three-hour train journey. She left me at the stage.

in Malvern. And then when I got off the train, there was no camera crew. And I was like, we're not filming, I don't understand. Then I got off the train and my dad was there. And he said, I'm really sorry. But he's gone. And I just remember feeling angry. Did they make me sit on a train?

Why did you maybe sit on a train for three hours? And tell me that I was going out to film. to be left at a train station and told that my uncle had died, and then it's going to be in the paper in the morning. And I felt really horrible because my uncle's got kids. And if it wasn't for me, then it wouldn't be in the paper tomorrow. And I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that because I chose to do the fame thing.

I'm sorry they didn't get their privacy, because that was my fault and I feel really sorry about that. Yeah. You hold this with you to this day? Yeah, massively because those children didn't deserve

to have things written about their father in national newspapers just because I decided to be a singer. It's those parts of my job. that hurt. Yeah. But Cher, I have to tell you, you didn't write those things.

I know. I know. You were 16. Yeah. Those were adults. Yeah. That chose to write about those things. Mm-hmm.

And they chose to steal that moment. They chose it. That was not you making that choice. No. But I always think. To myself, if I hadn't have chose to do this, to put myself forward, maybe it would have been different for people that I love. Maybe they wouldn't have felt hurt watching me go through all of it. But I can't live my life for others.

No. I can't. No. You have to live your life considering others, considering everyone. that you love. Yeah. But at the same time, you have to live life pursuing your passions and the talents that you were blessed with.

Absolutely. I wish I could sing half as good as you. Actually, just a quarter of it. And you know what's terrible here? To me, it seems like when you left X Factor, it just got worse. Yeah. You know, it just, just, just exacerbated.

At that time, what's next? What immediately happens? Because you're fourth. Yeah. Everyone in the UK knows you. Many people in Europe and the states, etc. So the world is beginning to know. Trichol.

Share, Lord. What do you do next? So I got signed to Psycho. Okay. And that was a deal that was probably written in from the get-go that Psycho then have the first choice of taking you on as an artist. So therefore, straight off the back of the show, signed Psycho. I then go and I write a record and I write this album.

And to be honest, a lot of it is a blur for me. I don't know why my mind does that, but I tend to lose my memories a lot. Okay. Which is strange. It's probably to do with all the trauma of, you know, having children and this career that's just been. Yes. Some of my memory is not good.

But yeah, lead the show. I'd go and record this record. And then we released the first single, Swagger Jagger. Swagger Jagger. Oh, boy. Wow. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. What a dog? What do you have to say about Swagger Jagger? Can we talk about the pros and cons? Yes, please. Of Swagger Jagger. Please.

Where do you want to go first? Pros or cons? The pros. The pros. Okay. One of the top selling songs, can we say, UK, charts in the U.S.? Yeah. Okay.

So this is a global hit? Right. Okay. Positive. Positive. Represents the tone and the vibe of the moment. Yes. You captured that share.

Yeah. You wrote that? Yep. Co-wrote it, yeah. You co-wrote it? Yeah. Come on now. The voice on it?

Yeah. How do you feel about it? Remember, these are pros. I mustn't laugh because, of course, this is my song, and it's part of my journey. But as a first song, risky as a first song. Risky? It's a bit risky. But that's you?

You're, you know, bold? I couldn't have been boring and released a ballad or something. like that, it just wouldn't have worked. So I just feel like I just kicked the door open. Here's Swagger Jagger. Okay. You kicked it wide open. So those are pros.

Yes. What are the cons? The cons were that it totally fit that narrative that I had given me on the show. So it was like this gateway into, you know, oh, she's a brat. She's this, she's that, into, you can't stop looking at me. I mean, could you get more bratty than that? You can't. Swagga Jagger is so full of itself.

It's untrue. Like, it's unreal. But I still feel like it's such an anthem. And I am going to be proud of that song forever, even though it does tend to make me cringe. Okay. Because it's not where I am artistically now. Yes.

So there is that sense of, you know, yeah. Yeah. Will you ever perform that song again? It has to be the right moment and the right vibe for me to perform that song. Okay. Because it takes a lot out of me. Because, like I said, it's just not artistically where I'm at. Right.

But it seems like the emotional connection to it is that it takes you back. to that time. It does. And that time the song comes out, but it feels like you get labeled what, I mean, you tell me. How did you feel like UK media was labeling you? Just as this cocky, arrogant 16-year-old

that had this huge chip on her shoulder, part of that was true. Okay. It was. Be accountable for my behavior. Yes. Because a lot of the time, I did have this grudge, this grudge for the way that I had been treated and I wanted almost people to move. Get out my way while I chase my dream.

Because you're being mean to me. And it's getting in my way. but I also was struggling with, like, identity at that time, being 16 years old. I hadn't seen enough of the world. I hadn't had any, like, life experience. True. Like, if I was to meet a 16-year-old now, as a 31-year-old, I'd probably be like, oh, and they're naive, aren't they?

Oh, look how young they are. They've not got a clue what the world's life. Right, but they think they do. Of course. And you have fame and you have popularity as well. Because even though there's a lot of negative attention around you, let's face it, there were more people who loved you. Thank you.

Thank you for saying that. Because a lot of time I do feel like when my name comes up, that negative seems to be one of the first things. It's like, oh, Sher Lloyd. Oh, yeah, people hated her. Sometimes people don't even know the reason why. I think it was a trend. It was cool.

It was cool. It was cool to hate Sher Lloyd. It was cool. But if we can even spend a moment on that, you know, and even thinking about being a woman in the music industry, it's tough. Especially then, right? And I say especially then because it's tough now. I think we often hear people say, oh, you know, women are on the rise, like women.

Yes, but we still live in a patriarchy. And you think 2010, you know, during doing research for this, I went back and I looked at interviews, some of the questions, not so many of the questions that you got. It's like you would never have received those questions if you were a man. I wish I had a list of the things they used to ask me, because they'd just be insane. Yeah, I mean, what are some of them that you were asked,

that you know would never be asked today? They used to ask me the most horrible, ugh, questions. I never felt like it was about my talent. Yeah. Well, I tell you, from my observation, some of the questions that I saw that you would get, a lot was about you dating. Always.

Yes. Always. So it wasn't, you know, What's the next album? What's the next song? Are you touring? It is, well, who are you with? Who are you with? Who you seeing? Yes. You know, we saw you pictured with this person. Are you guys hooking up? I don't care about men or boys at that time. I did not care about men at all.

I was there to be a star, to have an opportunity to share my voice. And yeah, it was always questions like that towards the girls. The girls, yes. And it felt like there was this emphasis for the girls to be sexualized. Hugely. And I would imagine that there was enormous pressure on you. Yes, absolutely. Even at the tender age of 16 years old.

Yeah. I'd be dressed in outfits that I don't feel were appropriate. That wasn't appropriate. I've always dressed a little bit masculine. That's just how I always like to dress. I like baggy clothes. You know, I love trainers, chunky boots. I'm not much of a heel person.

But some of the outfits that they've put forward for me to wear, I'd be like, my dad will go crazy if I wear that. He will not be happy with that. Yes. That's not appropriate. I was a child. But you're still being asked to do it, and is the thought, dress like this, sell more albums or dress like this?

Of course. But that's been that way forever, and it's still around now. It's still around now. I could tell you the craziest stories of the stuff that's been said to me, or the things that have been taken away, because I refused to go and hook up with people. Like what? What's been taken away? So I remember once, while I lived in the US and I was promoting my album in the US, I walked into the record label at the time.

And they hadn't give me a promotional budget to promote this album that's, you know, we've spent millions on this album. But there's no budget to go get people to hear it. Right. So I walk in and I say, look, I really. needs some cash to try and push this record, basically told no. But what I needed to do to make this record take off is hit some of the clubs and they'll find out where Bieber is. And I should go try to get with him. With Justin Bieber. Yes. Now this is going back years ago. Yeah.

Years ago. I was a teenager, but I was very much with my husband at that time. He was even stood in that office. While I was told they weren't going to spend any money on the album, pushing the album, but I was to go hook up with someone mega famous

and basically leach off the back of someone else's fame. Was I not good enough? Was I not good enough to invest in that you would rather use me in that way? Yeah. You know,

So this is not, to me, it's not, like, it's one is it's super bizarre, crazy, horrendous. Yeah. Doesn't feel far-fetched for the industry. But what seems wild is your husband was in the room. Yeah. They didn't care. In fact, I remember me and Craig were about to get married, and I was told by people on my team, do not.

to let the label know because they will do anything to stop this marriage because the way that they thought about me getting married is that once I'm married I'm off the market okay I hate that I hate that because I'm not a singer because I want to sleep around right and I want to be in different celebrity relationships I met a guy when I was 17 and I'm married to him now, have been for the last 11 years. I had no intention of leaching onto males, male singers, to try and gain a career. I'm not interested. Wow, the fact that they, like, I didn't even realize that they would be so direct about it.

I thought they would just maybe set it up, but they were saying, go do that, is the idea we just need to get this photo. of the two of you, or do you believe that they wanted something else? They wanted you to do something else? When it's that typical major label vibe, I might get in trouble for saying this, but it's always easier to get the artists to do the work and, you know, that way, then actually put money forward to push an album the right way. All right, so not to put words in your mouth, but what I'm reading It's easier for you to go have relationships. Of course. All types of relationships, whatever that may be.

Yeah. And then that story becomes so, you know. Yeah. And that was the sentiment. That was it. That was the theory behind getting me to go and do that. Interesting. So being in the industry.

So this is good. I feel like we're getting a peek into the industry. what happens. It sounds like you're saying this happens, this is happening and it happens over and over again. Oh, yeah. Of course. I've gone into labels where they've told me that my skirt's not sure enough.

As a teenager. Literally a teenager, you need to show a little more skin. What do you mean show a bit more skin? Right. That's gross. We're not selling... Right. I'm selling music.

and I'm a human being, you know, like, I don't, that feels gross. Like I said to you before, when I think about having daughters, if anyone ever suggested that to one of my girls. Yeah, yeah, you'd go off. No way. You'd go off. Yeah. So you just mentioned that you were in the US, really moved there.

Yeah. Why the US? So what happened is I was over in the US writing. for an album. And I met some incredible people while I was there, mainly in Los Angeles. I met a lot of really talented producers and songwriters. And it just kept opening doors for me.

That's it. It happened organically. We released a song called Want You Back, which we'd already released here in the UK. It did okay, but didn't move much, you know. But we released in the US and it just took off. Interesting. Yeah.

Yeah. I also didn't realize it wasn't methodical. This whole time I thought that you had calculated this. It was like, we're going to build up here and then go. No, it was just. No, it was just, it just happened very naturally. I can't say that there was ever any pressure on me to try and break the US. No one had had that conversation with me.

Okay. It just happened. But it happened at the. perfect time for me as a person. I needed a break. I needed a sign to tell me that you can do this. This is what all this hard work has been for. The U.S. market did give me peace. It did? That was my peace. Wow. Yeah. So you go to the U.S.? Yeah. And you do well in the U.S. So how would you describe doing well. I mean, for you, like, because as an artist, I think it's different from. So my background's finance. I'm like, okay, how much money did you make in the US? But I'm not asking you that, but it's like,

because you did do well. So how do you consider what you did there to be, it was good? It was the energy. The energy felt different. All of a sudden, everyone wanted me to do well. It was that feeling of, We're rooting for you from the US. Okay. And although I felt a lot of that here in the UK, at times people really like, are we really like you? We want you to do well. But I'd never quite felt it on the level that I did while I was in the US.

Just cheerleaders. Total cheerleaders. Just like, oh, we've got this British girl here and she's taken off. We love her. We support that feeling of truly being respected as well. I loved it. I loved every second of it. Best years of my life.

Really? Yeah. So energy is good. Yeah. You're touring. You're writing new music. Collaborating with different artists. Living in Hollywood at the time.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. What was it like living in Hollywood? Is it as wild as people say it is? I didn't belong there. I didn't. I felt alien living in Hollywood. I'm going to be truthful.

I did. I grew up on a council estate. Like, we'd smash through people's windows with footballs accidentally, you know? And then I'm walking out on the streets of Hollywood to palm trees and everything is pristine. Yes. It's a different life. But I also used to feel guilt. I felt a lot of guilt because that's not where I'm from.

Like, my family don't live like that. So it'd make me feel guilty. Why? I don't know. It's a strange thing that I've always had since I've had a career and this life. Of course I feel blessed, but I also sometimes feel like other people don't get this, and I feel guilty. Do you feel as if you were worthy? I feel like someone like me.

shouldn't have, you know. I often think what life would have been if I didn't have this life. Yeah. That hit me when you said that. Someone like me shouldn't have this. Who's someone like me? Oh, I just, yeah, where I come from and that world that I used to be in. Like, what are the chances of a girl like?

me ever reaching this point in my career 15 years later and I'm still going Yes Yes you're in Hollywood feeling guilty

that you're in Hollywood feeling alien but yet it's the best time of your life yeah that's really interesting to think about yeah I feel like success is subjective because

what's successful for me. It might not be success for you. Yes. It was because I had this sense of feeling respected and I felt like people were invested in me as an artist. That to me was true success. Yes. So this reminds me, there's a respected. We don't feel as if we are an asset to it. Our well-being, our mental health is going to be off. Yeah. And this is the reason why where we work, our home life, where we live, why it's so important for us to feel as if we are conducive to it. Yeah. We are adding some type of value to it. And it feels like here you were. And it's been like what then has you come back to the UK? I had to come home. You had to come

home. I had to come home. I needed to be home. I just felt like as much as it's been a rocky road here in the UK, I still want to be here. I want to release music here. I really want to be loved by the UK. I'm just being honest. I do. I want to be loved by my country. The US was great,

but what I want more than anything is love from my own country. Do you feel as if your country loves you? Do you know what? I feel like things have turned for me and they're starting to turn because I feel like people are now just starting to get to know me.

Yes. Which has felt so good. Like it's refreshing for me to be able to have the ability to reintroduce myself. Yes. Because it's been so long

since anyone's really heard of me. And it feels good. No one's controlling in the narrative. I'm just me. And you're back. Yep. You're back. So now that you're back, what's the plan professionally? Yeah. So for me, professionally, I feel like I've been held back from even being able to

release music. Often, people think that there is no music and I need to go and write music. I've got a computer full of records. Do you? I've probably got about 50 songs. Okay. That are like ready. They could be released tomorrow. But being on a major label was very restrictive for me.

Having to go through that process of getting approval from multiple people and they have to figure out their budget and their PR and this and that. We live in times now where you could just drop a record. You could do that. You could. Nothing's stopping you. Nothing. We have social media at our fingertips.

And major labels lean on that more than ever anyway. So for me, being an independent artist now and having complete control over everything that I do is the best for me. it's the best. Yes. And when you're on stage, you can see it. You transform. Yeah. You know, there was a, it was, you want to say it was Taylor Swift.

Yes. You own that. Thank you. You owned it. What a moment to say that I've, I've performed with Taylor Swift. The Taylor Swift. My daughter. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

No, no, hold over a second. Hold over a second. Taylor Swift. She performed with Sher Lloyd. Oh, stop. I'm saying. Can we? She did.

How did that come about? I just had a phone call one day. I think my manager called me and she was like, you're not going to believe this, but Taylor's performing at the Staple Center and she wants you to come on and sing your soul. My mind was blown, absolutely blown. And then I went into this state of panic, like,

huge arena with the Taylor Swift. I'm going to be performing my song with her. Like, what in the world is this? I loved every second. She was the sweetest person I think I've ever met. She baked me, like, they looked like scones, but they were like, biscuits? Yeah, we're biscuits.

Yeah. And when she said, oh, I baked you some biscuits, I thought like biscuits is in. Biscuit, like cookies, like cookies. And I looked at them and I thought, oh, they're funny looking biscuits. But how sweet of her to take time, even when she was on a tour, to take time, she baked me biscuits. Okay, were they good. They were.

They were. Because I thought it was going to be like a traditional, like cookie. And it wasn't. But they were lovely. And she was just so welcoming. Again, just undeniable, a star. A star. Yeah.

Incredible story. And you know why she took that time? Because she was baking those biscuits for share, Lord. It's incredible. Yeah, but because of you. I mean, it's important, I think, to stop and love on yourself and appreciate, you know, who you are or what you've gone through. It's, we have to give ourselves license for this. Yeah.

And what I can see already is that you, you. don't give yourself license to stop and say, wow, look at this, look at, look at what I've done, look at where I am, look at what I am doing for myself, for my family, for my community. I think it's healthy to stop and love on yourself. Yeah, I've just never been good at that. I really haven't. I just, I never feel or know if it's good enough. Never had that that sense of feeling like I am good enough. It's just never come to me. It's never come to you?

No. Despite all that you've done. Everything that I've done, I self-sabotage. What's something that you're proud of? It could be the most simple thing that you did yesterday. It could be something monumental. What's something that you're proud of? I'm a great mom.

I know I'm a good mom, because my kids tell me. I'm a good man. I know it. And that's the one thing that I can just say like that. And I think it's because I'm fiercely protective of my children. And, you know, when you become a parent, you have this huge responsibility, right? Taking care of these children.

You don't quite realize what fire it ignites in you to love and nurture and be someone's everything. I am my children's world. Yes. So I give them the worlds. Yes. I have to.

And it's just having kids changed me. Yes. It really did. It made me such a better person. Is it happy? It's happy. It's happy. It's happiness.

It's happiness. I found happiness in my children, yeah. You found happiness. your children. Yeah. So to revel in that is to tap into the emotion and say, I'm a proud mom. And that makes me happy. And just to spend a moment saying, and I feel happy about that, right? Yeah. To tap into what the emotion is. It's so important for us to name the things. And I think that little exercise helps. Yeah. Because then you can say, I'm happy. So here's my, I'm already going to give you an exercise. Every day, every day, I want you to identify three things that you're proud of.

Okay. And it could be something in the moment. Right before we started this, you did something that I loved. And I was like, yeah, she's a great mama. You know what she did? You said, he better be picking up the kids right now. It's me. I'm always, look at my phone, check the time, what's going on. Where are my Kids, yep. All right. So you're proud of that. Right. So identify three things every day, three things. And you know what that is? It's a gratitude exercise. And when you give yourself more gratitude, that's you loving on yourself. You have to give yourself more gratitude. I can see that. You do. You deserve it. You deserve it. Let's talk about we've already kind of gone there. We kind of flirted with, we flirted with your husband. Yeah. Flared with the topic of your husband. Yeah.

So you said 17, you were married. I was 17 when I met Craig. Met Craig at 17. Yeah. Married at? 20. 20. I know everyone's like, wow.

Yeah. That's young. Yeah. Pop star. Yeah. Right. People are out here trying to get you to connect with Beaver. Yeah.

What was it about Craig? confidence. He had such confidence, but no arrogance. And that's what, there was just something about him. I just, I couldn't put my finger on it because I'd met so many different people, especially just coming off of the show. Everybody wants to connect with you. Yes. But I was in London and I was getting my hair done in a hair salon and he worked there. And I remember locking eyes with him, they're thinking, he looks so cheeky. It's just this sort of rugged looking guy, chill, but really cheeky.

And he flirted a bit, and I thought, I like him. I like him really down to earth. He had a thick Essex accent. It was just something about him. Yeah. And so what did you do? What's funny about this is I left my phone number at the front desk for him, because he'd already left.

And it just so happened that he had also left his number at the front desk for me. Perfect match. Perfect. He felt the same way. So then we did, you know, the regular thing of, like, messaging each other. At the time it was Blackberry Messenger, and we blackberry messenger each other for weeks. until I was like, I have to meet this guy.

And we met, we had the most amazing conversations. Like, I felt like he didn't judge me. He never judged me. And I don't feel like he cared for the fame side. I really don't. He's always been like that. He just wanted to know me on a deeper level. And that's why I wanted to carry on seeing him.

Because he was unfazed by it. He really was. He was. Yeah. You're married at 20. 20, yeah. Did you feel as if that was young or age played no part at all? No part at all.

I knew that I wanted to be with him. And what's been consistent throughout our relationship is that we never give up on each other. no matter what comes to our door, what situation we have to deal with, we are a team, but we do not give up. And it's been like that since the day we got together. Wow. How old was he when you were married? He was 23. 23.

So only three years. So he's young as well. Yeah. How does he, how did he manage and even continue to manage the attention that you were getting, especially requests like, I know, you know, date this other guy. There was a series on YouTube that I was watching where there were lots of press. Like, I think you were in New York. And what I distinctly remember is he was holding your hand.

You were walking in and out of buildings, right? And many people were stopping you. A lot of men were stopping you. And they would just, he's, Craig was holding your hand. But they would just. kind of grab you to take the photo. Yeah. And he would just stand to the side.

Yeah. But he's watching. But he would stand to the side respectfully. Yeah. How do you, you know, how does he manage all of this? And I feel like that's a special, special person to be able to do that. A million percent. And that really does sum him up is that he does step to the side to let me shine.

And I've always respected that about him. is that he understands with my career, this is how it is. I'm often not going to feel present for you all of the time because my job means that other people need me, they want me. And he's always been so good with stepping to the side and letting me be a star. which not too many people would be okay with that, but he has that confidence. He is sure of himself.

He's a very secure man. And I think that's what's made it possible for him to roll with this for years. Just roll with it and be a true supporter of me. that's what he's been a rock someone that is always there consistently that I can run to when I need help

he is that and I wish that I had him when I was back going through all that hard stuff at the beginning of my career yeah but you have him now I have him now

I won't let go yeah yeah you have him now that's a very special relationship and then the two of you then start creating babies. Yes. Yes.

How does motherhood change you? It's changed my whole outlook on life. The things that used to matter to me don't matter anymore. That's what happens, doesn't it? It shifts and you just view the world differently. you want to protect your children from everything. I just want to protect them. I want to love them.

I want to give them the best life. And yeah, I just, they are the best thing that ever could have happened to me. They really are. Yes. How do you think that having children and you have this wonderful partner, how does that now impact the next phase of your career? Yeah, how does it do that? I'm stressed.

I'm stressed out. All I keep thinking is, how am I going to do this? Because the mental load already for a mother is just, is through the roof, the lists, the constant lists, the being needed all of the time by two stories. small children, but then at the same time, I still have to chase my dream. I have to, because also my children need to see me fulfill my dreams. That's important. Two girls watching their mother succeed. Yes. But I would argue that the pursuit of your dream is succeeding in your

dream. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's not the destination. No. It's the journey. It is. And just those two little girls watching their mom on the journey, that's the win. That's the win. That truly is. And the fact that if you would have asked me this question a year ago when I had a newborn, I would have said I can't do it. I can't do any of this anymore. I just need to be at home with my children. I was mentally not in a good place. And I don't think I would have ever had an ounce of confidence in myself to ever step back out on a stage. What was it about a year ago that puts you in that space? So after I had my youngest daughter, Eliza, I'd heard about postnatal depression before, but I didn't understand what it meant for someone to go through it.

So what I first started experiencing was real loneliness, but also I doubted myself in everything that I was doing. And I had this overwhelming fear that something was going to happen to my baby. and it started affecting my mental health severely. I had the shakes all the time. I felt sick all the time I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. It was the worst time of my life when it was supposed to be the happiness. I can't believe I made it through that time. It was awful.

I even had situations where I'd be walking down the street with my baby in the pram. And I had visions of cars. Driving into her. They came out of nowhere. Postnatal depression shook me to my core. And to be honest, it's made me feel like I can't imagine having more. children. Wow.

I can't. I can't go through that again. Awful. This is something that is not talked about enough. No. How did you come out the other side? It took me a really long time. I felt like I didn't want to leave the house.

I didn't know who I was anymore, to be honest. I really didn't. I completely lost myself. And that's why when you asked me, what I was proud of. Yes. I say being a mother, because even though that was the hardest time of my life,

my children were always safe, I protected them, and they always came first, even though my mental health took the biggest blow ever. And I think the only way out of it was one time I needed to, time, I put too much pressure on myself after I had my baby. The pressure to bounce back, which I think is ridiculous. Women do not need to bounce back after pregnancy. That should not be a thing,

and I hate that that's pushed on to women. What I feel new mothers need to do is to give themselves a break. Take time for you and I wish someone could have told me that it was going to be all right and that being a mother is hard. It's really hard but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and whether that be picking up the phone and calling your GP, call your GP. Call your GP tell them that you need help and they will help you. I did it. They helped me.

And now I'm in such a better mental state. Yeah. You know, what you just said is profound because we have to remember, especially in traumatic experiences, we feel like we're alone. Totally. In it.

We have to understand that we are never alone. And help is a call away. It is. It is a message away. It is expressing to your loved ones. I don't feel okay. Yeah. That is the beginning of you saving your life.

It really is. It really is. Because when I was in the middle of feeling these thoughts, I didn't know what was real and what was not. And it was scary. I wanted to be. protect my children so badly. I thought, I honestly, I thought that bad things were going to happen to my kids.

There's no worse feeling than that. Ever. Never. And I just want to say, like, if there's other people who feel like this and something doesn't feel right, it's not sitting right. You have to. You have to call. You have to tell someone. you have to.

You have to. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that because postnatal depression does not get enough dialogue, but in particular that so many women go through this. Yeah. Right. And so therefore you are not alone. Yeah.

You know. Thinking about relationships, right? We've talked about, you know, you're a phenomenal mom, right? You have a phenomenal husband, but I have a feeling you're a phenomenal husband. but I have a feeling you're a phenomenal wife as well. Thank you. Okay, so we have all of those things. There's another relationship, and this is the relationship that I'm disturbed about.

Okay. This is your relationship with social media. Cher, we need more of you. We need more of you. This is my issue. We want more of you. I know you do. Yes.

I know. What's, where are you with social? I'm actually really glad that you brought this up. Okay. Because this is something I do need help with. Okay. I really do. Okay.

Now, I would love to share more of myself, but I'm afraid. I'm scared. I'm scared of what people are going to say. What I'm going to read, the response. Do I want to put myself back in the position the 16-year-old me was in? I'm afraid. And I'm taking baby steps. And even today, I started filming just on my phone.

I'm going to film some stuff. I'm going to try and put it and edit together and I'm going to post it. But I can't tell you if I'm going to be brave enough to post it because I'm afraid. Yeah. You know what's so, I think, sad is that you, You have so much to share. But at a tender age of 16, you were traumatized. Yeah.

And you were traumatized in a way that very few people will ever feel. Yeah. Because it's one thing to have negative pieces written about you. But it's another for that to have happened in 2010. Yeah. it's another for that to have happened in 2010 and be a woman. Absolutely. It's another for that to be 2010, a woman.

You were in an incredibly difficult situation that many people, from my opinion, took advantage of. Yeah. Okay. So that's trauma. But we know that we can heal through trauma. And there are certain steps that we can take. I think that exercise that I gave you around gratitude, being proud. I think that helps quite a bit around helping to fight against self-doubt.

Right. So that's one way that will help you. Another is by doing more of this. Yeah. Allowing people to see you for who you are. Yeah. You know, in this you have been eloquent. You've been insightful. It feels like there's an empowerment message. Absolutely. In there. There really is. The new song that I wrote, head down, I, that is an empowerment anthem for me.

I was able to just let out everything I feel. There's a lyric in the song where I say, they said that I'd amount to nothing if I don't show a little something. I guess that everybody does it. Like what? Yes. What on earth? I didn't do that. I didn't, you know, do things that I didn't feel comfortable with,

but I'm still here 15 years later. That's right. I didn't need to do that. You didn't. You didn't. And you're now opening a whole new chapter of your life. Yeah. A whole new chapter.

I'm so excited. Like, I finally feel like I'm in the best headspace I've been. in for years, I feel happiness. Yes. Happiness. So anything more from now, wow. Yeah. It's like you have the whole cake,

and now you're just putting icing all over it. That's it. It's time to decorate the cake. Yes, yes, and I think you're going to decorate it beautifully. Thank you. Yes. So then I have one final question for you. This is the question that everyone gets.

It's my favorite. question actually. It's about with yet. But if you think back to all the conversations that you've had throughout your life. Yeah. Many, many, many. What was the most memorable conversation? Who was it with?

And what did you learn? I'd say that the most memorable conversation I've had was a childhood conversation that I had with my name. and this was just around the time that, you know, I was taking off on the show. And she sat me down and she said to me, your life is going to change. Everything's going to change. And she told me how much she loved me.

And I just remember sitting there and thinking, yeah, this is going to happen now. my whole life is going to change. And she spoke to me about being a decent person and protecting myself and not forgetting where I come from. And that's always sat with me too, is to not forget where I came from.

But I mean, there's been so many conversations with people, so many. But just that, you know, what I've found in asking this, question. Now, to many, many guests, it typically goes back to a close family member, and more often than not, it goes back to NANs. Really? Yes. Yes. It's, I find that to be, it's one of those things that I now have thinking, okay, I need to research this because there's something about the wisdom and the love, the unconditional love. that you get from a grandparent

that is just without question life-changing. And even to go back to our initial conversation about the Roma community, is I'm walking away with how beautiful the family connection and dynamic is, the fact that you live down the street or you live with a parent and you live down the street from an uncle, et cetera,

because the way that the world is shifting is we're moving away from. that. We're moving to a place of more and more individualism. Yes. Where we're moving away from all communities. We're moving away. You know, and there's a price that you pay for that. My family almost entirely lives in the United States. I live across the pond. Yeah. And there is a price that I pay. There's a price that my wife pays. There's a price that my sons pay. Yeah.

by not having their family with them. And as a society, we need to place more value on our family. A million percent. I really feel that. And for me, moving back to the UK was a huge, that was a huge reason for moving back to the UK. I am really grateful that my children get to grow up with their grandparents around.

It's priceless. It's priceless. You could have all the money in the world. you could have huge sprawling mansions but having people people that is priceless and that's what I'm interested in that's the most important thing for me is people and relationships yes yes fair enough yeah share this has been better than I thought it was going to be I uh I was so excited for you to to come because I, you know, wasn't here in the UK, so I wasn't a part of the X Factor moment is everyone. But I'm telling you, the moment, the moment I saw you walk on that stage and you

turn your swag on. The moment you turn your swag on, I was like, I love her. I love her. And you did not disappoint. Thank you. You did not. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Can I say one of my favorite episodes. And as always, I have some takeaways that I like to share. In particular for Share, there are three. The first is that Share's story is a testament to the power of unwavering belief in yourself. As a teenager, faced with laughter and doubt, she boldly declared, I'm going to be a star.

Even when dismissed, her vision remained crystal clear. On lunch breaks, she'd return to her karaoke machine, honing her craft with relentless focus. Her journey shows that persistent vision and self-confidence can drive success, even when others doubt you. Let her story remind us, if your dream is unshakable, no external opinion can hold you back. The second takeaway is that before this interview, I didn't fully grasp how debilitating post-natal depression can be. Listening to Cher's story gave me a new understanding of its weight and its hope. She shared how overwhelming motherhood can feel. feel, but also that there is light at the end of the tunnel. She said, pick up the phone,

call your GP, tell them if you need help, and they will help you. I did it, they helped me too. If you're struggling, know that reaching out for help is a brave and vital step forward. We've included resources in the show notes because you don't have to face this alone. And the last but not least takeaway is that often the greatest validation comes from the people who matter most. Being told, you're a great mom, as we would say in the States, or you're a great mum, as we say here in the UK, by our children gave share unshakable confidence in her parenting. It's a reminder of the profound responsibility and fire that parenthood ignites. The drive to love, protect, and nurture. When loved ones affirm us, it reinforces the impact of our care and strengthens

our belief in ourselves. Their words can serve as powerful proof of the love and dedication we give. As always, thanks for watching, and I can't wait to see you next time. And just remember, around 9 and 10 of you watching these videos aren't subscribed yet. Now, no pressure at all, but if you're enjoying the content, subscribing is a super simple way to stay connected with us, and it also helps a ton when growing the channel. We also look at every comment, so make sure you comment with your guest ideas below and we'll get your favorite guest on our future episodes. Every episode of this podcast comes to life with the help of Adobe Express. The quick and easy create anything app from Adobe, even if you don't have any design experience. I couldn't be more

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