We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson - Farrah Abraham: What Fame Did To Me After 16 & Pregnant

Episode Date: August 18, 2026

Farrah Abraham opens up about MTV’s 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, becoming pregnant at 16, and losing the father of her daughter while she was still carrying Sophia. Farrah revisits being pregnant as she stood at Derek’s casket, the last words they exchanged, and the grief that followed while millions watched her become one of reality TV’s most controversial stars. Farrah also reveals the reality behind Teen Mom, from the period she says she was living in her car while filming to the pressure of processing Derek’s death in the public eye. She reflects on fame, money, plastic surgery, her sex tape and why she now sees some of her most public decisions through the lens of depression, trauma and a desperate need to feel loved. Now, with Sophia approaching adulthood, Farrah reflects on therapy, breaking patterns from her own childhood and choosing a different relationship with her daughter. Raw, unpredictable and deeply personal, this is Farrah Abraham confronting the moments the world judged without knowing what was happening behind them. Farrah Abraham, We Need To Talk This episode includes discussion of mental health. If you’re struggling, remember you’re not alone. You can find help and resources at the links below: MIND:  https://linkly.link/2dx8b Samaritans: https://linkly.link/2dx7Z    CALM: https://linkly.link/2dx8H    Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod   Sign up to our newsletter https://linkly.link/2eXHX Follow Farrah here: https://www.instagram.com/farrahabraham https://www.tiktok.com/@farrahabraham (00:00) Intro (03:32) Farrah Abraham's Childhood and Upbringing in Iowa (04:40) Paul Shows Farrah a Childhood Photo With Her Parents (06:13) Farrah Opens Up About the Reality of Her Childhood (13:41) Paul Shows Farrah a Photo With Her Ex Derek (14:58) Farrah and Derek's Relationship Before 16 and Pregnant (20:26) The Last Time Farrah Saw Derek (25:22) How Farrah Found Out Derek Had Died (28:44) Farrah Opens Up About Derek's Funeral (32:04) Farrah's Experience Filming 16 and Pregnant (37:45) Huel Ad (39:07) Teen Mom and Farrah's Tumultuous Relationship With Producers (46:06) The Story Behind Farrah Abraham's Sex Tape (51:51) Why Farrah Was Fired From Teen Mom (54:51) Farrah Opens Up About Her Arrests (56:54) Farrah's Relationship With Her Parents Today (59:59) Farrah on Cosmetic Surgery and Body Dysmorphia (01:07:05) Has Farrah Been in Love Since Derek? (01:08:28) What Farrah Looks for in a Relationship (01:12:46) Farrah Reveals Her Best and Worst Dates (01:15:12) Paul Shows Farrah a Photo With Her Daughter Sophia (01:17:23) How Farrah Has Changed as a Mother (01:20:38) How Farrah Helps Sophia Navigate Growing Up in the Public Eye (01:25:48) Farrah Reads a Letter From Her Daughter Sophia (01:30:08) Why Farrah Abraham Is Running for Office in Texas (01:36:22) Most Memorable Conversation (01:42:04) Paul's Takeaways Huel - https://uk.huel.com/WNTT Try Huel Black Edition ramen , use code WNTT for £10 off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I saw that you require men. to sign an NDA and sometimes have a vasectomy. Did you ever get a vasectomy? Who me? No. Free balling. All right. Literally. Literally. Literally.

So 16 impregnant and teen mom. I like got to the realest point in my life because I'm living in my car and going to school and also watching my kid. So Derek is the father of your child. Yeah, he just showed me a lot of love. And I think sometimes when you're so desperate, you need just a touch of love,

but not go for suss and... and at heart what I sadly reached out to. I remember you were in all the tabloids. You were arrested several times. Yeah, doing nothing. So what happened? Wow, you got serious there. It's so surreal because even like our immature fights,

and I used to be like, well, I will never be there if you die. And then when someone you love really dies, you're like, why did I say all those stupid, hurtful things? The day that Derek passed, how did you find out? It's going to bring me to tears. I have a very important surprise for you. You ready? All right.

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I'm pretty good with talking about it. I'm actually finishing my first lifetime movie about myself right now. So my writing team is, Farah, how do we feel? I started ketamine treatment up again because I was getting so real with my feelings and actually learning so much more about what I didn't know about then. And I just love how close of a best friend I am to myself, I guess, through all this stuff. Yeah. So, yeah, it's nice.

I think that's so profound to even say how close of a best friend I am to myself. Yeah. I don't think I've ever heard anyone see that. Oh, I feel like you really have to become friends with anxiety, become friends with your anger management, become friends with like, hey, I wasn't that smart then. But now I might have the words now. And this is really, well, that was really toxic. So now I know to choose better because I'm still single. I'm almost like I'm starting over.

My daughter's like going to be 18. We're already looking at houses for her, bought her own car. Like, she's ready to go be her independent self. And I'm just like buying myself a convertible sports car this weekend for my birthday. Are you serious? I am serious. Oh, yeah, it's on the showroom floor waiting for this bitch to come pick it up. What are you buying for yourself?

So it's an AMG. I think it's AMG 63 convertible, but it has a red top, all black, sick wheels, black interior. Just, yeah, how to out. do my daughter's car, but yeah. All right. I'm not mad at that. I'm not mad at that. All right. So now, can we go all the way back? Okay. So where were you born? I was born in Council Bluffs, Iowa, Omaha, Nebraska, right in the middle of America. That's the heartland of America. When you think of presidential elections and their tours, they start in Iowa. And I loved it. It was so calm. It was so peaceful and I think I really needed that peace growing up. Some people despise it and they're like,

oh, I was so far from everything. But that really has made me famous, actually. That's where my TV show started. Yes. And I love that. I love it. Yes. Wow. Okay. So now throughout this conversation, there'll be a few surprises that I have. Oh, wow. What kind of surprises? Yeah, but these are, should I grab my maze? Do not surprise you know, you know, it's interesting. I find that, I find that interesting that When I say surprise, you immediately thought negative surprise. Oh, something to work on in ketamine treatment. There you go. There you go.

So that's not what this is about. Okay. These are positive surprises. All right. So here's the first one. Woo! I love a good surprise. Surprise!

I love it. All right. So first is this photo. Oh my God. Yes. If you could first tell us who is in this photo, what's happening? Oh my goodness. I think I'm like too.

I just got my ears pierced. I remember that. This is my mom. This is my dad. And we are in Iowa. And it is hot. It is hot. I'm wondering if it's around May.

It was very humid around May for me. I don't know. I look a little sweaty. We all do. Yeah. So now when you look at that photo, though, what would you describe the love in that family to feel like? Yeah. And that's a loaded, that's a loaded question for me because love, what I know love to be today as I created it for my family is a different love here.

Oh, I don't like to talk shit about my family and love, but definitely in a confusing family dynamic. My parents really were not connected. I was over at my grandparents most of the time. And I don't know what to say on the real to you about this when it comes to love. Okay. But. So then, if I can ask. And I'll hold on to these photos.

Oh. Yeah. I'm going to hold on. You're going to take my surprise. Indian giver. No, no, no. I will give it back to you at the end. I'll give it back to you.

Love is a loaded question as I've grown up. Interesting. So then how would you describe what family felt like at a young age for you? Performative. Okay. Yeah, I think I definitely beat that horse to death on that one. What is this love that I thought was love? What is this love that doesn't feel like it lasts? And I didn't want to be a performative loving mom for my daughter.

Okay. And I don't want to be a performative loving spouse, future wife, to any man that I date or I meet. Okay. All right. I hear that. I hear that. So who in the family was performing? I felt like my mom in a lot of ways.

and it's really sad to look back on it. Okay. So she was performing. So do you feel as if your mother loved you? I think she tried. And I think she does, right? That is her own opinion. That is her own world.

That is how she would answer it. And she's, you know, time and time again said that she has, but it doesn't hit. It doesn't align. You know what I love so much now about where you are in your life is that you're a mom, you've gone through therapy, you've gone through life. And so now when you reflect back, there's a lot more awareness that you have. Thank God. Yeah, in terms of what was happening.

So I know your mother has her story. Your father, his. But in the house, did you, Farah, did you feel love? I think I was creating love. I think like the very first celebration of a little bit of me and enjoyment came when I finally got like a radio and TV and had my own room. And I would just be enamored by that stuff. Okay. So that this is so what was it about TV and in radio that?

God, I don't know. I just remember watching like Frazier, MASH, some other comedy stuff, family stuff. And I think I was watching other families. I guess that's the dynamic then, like even Will and Grace, like, everybody's having, like, family or friendship circles, and I was yearning for some of that. And so I watch it because I wasn't getting it from my family. Yes. You know, so there's something that a lot of children go through is it's called disassociation. It's when there's so much turmoil happening in the household that because you can't physically remove yourself, then just you remove yourself mentally.

I do that very well. So you feel like you were doing that at a young age? I feel like even now in work sometimes I'll do it. Like I will disassociate. So I've just really tried to put my foot down and be like, I'm not going to work like this. I'm not going to try to escape from that. And I'm also not trying to make trauma bonds anymore and just let them go for 20 years. But I think, yes, escape is I think a lot of us have to work on not doing.

Okay. So you're saying, so you were doing this, though, as a child? For sure. What was the relationship like with your father? I think I really yearn to just have a relationship with my dad. My mom would never allow us to hang out or be around my dad without her. They were both traveling salespeople, so they were always traveling and always running around. I was a lot at my grandparents' house.

My sister had another dad, and I wasn't fully aware of this because no one talked about it. And I know we look totally different. like, you know, as opposite colors and opposite spectrums and opposite. But I really just like tried to look at everyone as we are a unit. And like, that's it. And then my sister started like making front of me like, I don't know, she would just say like culturally, like uneducated things like dot on your head or like if I wrap my head in a towel. I don't know. She would like say Taliban or terroristy things.

It was just like silly stuff, but it kind of would hurt my feelings. But we just, I thought everyone was a family. But as I grew up, I just was like, well, we're really not a family. And we really are different. So it was really rough. It was a little rough. And that's like the thing I can't really, you know, speak for everyone on is I don't know if that hurt the togetherness of how great the family dynamic could have been. It's just not trying to make my.

myself sad or feel sorry for myself, but like it's just sometimes, you know, my family, like my family members would bring up if I looked more like my dad, if I was, you know, darker or, you know, whatever. So it's just like, I feel like I'm like you guys, but then I'm definitely not. And that's totally cool. I loved who I was too, but it's hard trying to fit in everywhere. I appreciate you sharing that. Yeah. Because I just part of my life.

It's kind of sad. You know what? I understand the trauma that it brought you. But I also see how you celebrate today who you are. Yeah. Right. And you lean into it. So just so I know in terms of heritage is what was the ethnicity and race of your father?

Yes. So the ethnicity and race of my dad and his side of the family is Syrian. So that's the Middle Eastern that people see and also Italian if I'm thinking of what he says to me properly. And I think for anyone who's unaware of where you grew up is that I would imagine

that the percentage of Syrians where you grew up was very low. Yeah, super low. Almost non-existent. Yeah. Any culture I did find it gravitated to it, though. Yes, yes. Yeah.

But I think it's important to paint that picture of how maybe visually different you even felt being growing up in that area. Yeah. And not to say that others were just super uneducated. Like, you know, I'm sure their parents did the best that they could. But everyone would always think I'm Hispanic because that's the only thing that they knew. And I think a lot of areas where we live in now and also where I was raised, they really don't know a lot of different cultures around our world. It's not just, you know, you're Hispanic, you're black, you're white, you're this.

I'm just always like, it's just so crazy to me on these, like, race forms that there's just not everyone listed. Unless you go to the OBGYN ladies. And then there are totally like every nationality of Indian, every, every, because they really want to know the women who they're helping. But I think a lot of people just don't really get that culture that they need. Okay, fair. Yeah. So this now really helps me understand. so much more. Can I show you another

photo? Yeah. You ready for this? I love these surprises. Okay. So I want you to tell me who's in this photo. Okay. What is happening? But also I want to know the feeling

of seeing this photo. Okay, ready? Okay. Okay. There is Derek Sophia's dad and I in this photo. We were having some friends leave but at an after party, Derek and I were partying together. I thank God. And how do I feel about this?

I would say I just feel love. I feel good. He was my safe space. So it was good. Okay. And who is Derek? Derek is Sophia's dad. Baby daddy, y'all.

Baby daddy. Baby daddy. All right. Yeah. Okay. So if you can, I'll hold on to that one for you. Yeah, I love looking at it.

Yeah. Yeah. You guys look good. Yeah. You guys look really good. So if you can, tell me about... Shout to my old nose. Didn't realize it there, but it's there.

Look, your old nose is in it. Yeah. My old nose is there. Yeah. It's funny when you have so much love around you at certain times in your life, you never think of like a bump on your nose. But then when you go to another depressed state of your life, you're like, I want to fix everything about myself.

Well said. Yeah, it's great thing. So during that time, you weren't thinking about any bump on your nose. No, I really loved my body more because of Derek, because of everything that he would just give praise to. It was just like who just spit it off the cup, like wouldn't even know who was going to bring it up. He just showed me and my body a lot of love. And he showed me a lot of things in the term of our relationship. and really even stopping me with my physical, like I would get upset at him and I would kind of act out like my mom or my dad that I saw growing up when they would kind of get physical.

And he just like bear hugged me and was like, I don't think we want to be like our moms or our family. Like we're not going to do that. And that stuck with me till this day. This is how I've raised my child that we had together. And it just has really helped me like heal. Yes. And love myself. Try to find love again.

And I feel like sometimes I can just fall out of love with myself or things. And I just, he really brings love into my, in my memory. Yes, yeah. I mean, he, without question, was his time with you, one of the most important periods of your life. It was. And even though it was brief, you know, people always are like putting a shot clock on how much time I spent with someone. And I don't know if you're just a really good person and you show someone how to love themselves. and love others more, I don't think they're ever going to forget that.

Yeah, yeah. So Derek, you and Derek, was that the first person you fell in love with? Yeah, it was. And he told me he loved me first. And I really kept my little bits in until I was like, I need to just say how I feel and like, I cannot be immature. I mean, he would always write me letters of how mature I was and why he liked me. and I owed that to him to also, you know, share with him how I really feel.

Otherwise, I probably would have backed away and ran in a hole because I was too scared to go to love territory. Sure, sure. But eventually, you did. I did. You did. And it was scary. And I think it got even more scary, especially when I lost him. Yeah.

So for you to say, I love you at that time, you were how old? Oh, my gosh. I think we were actually, I was 16. I think he was definitely after I just had turned 16. Okay. So you turned 16. And he told me he wanted to take a break for the summer after I just lost my virginity to him. After being raised in a household that was like, we wait till we have sex until we are married.

And there is just a lot of learning how to keep your value, how to keep your integrity, how to keep your integrity, how to keep your worth, someone brings in love, but then they're withdrawing it, what is going on. That was a very big lesson to learn with one person. Yes, yes. So that is something that I didn't realize. So you lost your virginity. So the first time... Prom.

Prom. Prom. I blame public school proms. Proms. And I will say this. I know that sometimes. people have an issue with that phrase losing your virginity. Oh, I don't know.

Yeah. So your first time having sex was with Derek at prom. Yeah. And it was a sign of nature, guys. Like I was not planning on being stuck in my house, having sex with him. Literally, the end of her prom got canceled, like hurricane warnings, flood warnings. And, yeah, then he was stuck in my house. and then two teenagers who like each other a lot are stuck together.

What the fuck are we going to do? Like, this is what I'm saying. Public school, hormones, real life, real science, real people. So then how did your parents then react to you and Derek being together? My grandparents were very silent on it, which was weird because I was always over there. But my mom, I think, just had one conversation with Derek before. I mean, in total, she wasn't really conversating with him why we were dating. And it felt very much like we gravitated towards one another because we had mother issues.

But his mom did end up suing my dad in high school. And that's really- Derek's mother. Yeah, Derek's-s sued my dad in high school because Derek, they were caught having sex. But my dad didn't know what the hell was going on. and it was like 2 a.m. in the morning. And so my dad hit whoever he thought was on his daughter. And I get it.

And he shouldn't have been sneaking in and getting me to lie all the time for him. So, yeah, that's really why I wasn't talking to him when he passed away in a car accident. Oh, wow. Okay. Now this makes sense. When was the last time you saw Derek? Yeah, the last time I saw Derek, he snuck in my house again. said he was going to pick up all of my stuff since we're not talking anymore.

As he's sneaking in, obviously, we start having sex again, and I am five months pregnant. Okay. Did you know this? I definitely knew this. I did give Derek the opportunity, and I told him exactly when I missed my period at cheer camp. He said he was going to take me. He ended up not taking me, called him multiple times at Planned Parenthood when I found out that I was before it, during it, and after it, and he didn't pick up my calls any of the times. And yes, I lost my fucking shit in Planned Parenthood, blaming a nurse for our systemic, I guess, like, getting pregnant as a teen and just learning like contraceptive will fail me.

I was on birth control the whole time. Oh, were you? Okay. And it was just like, what is a? this world that I'm living in. And the man who is supposed to love me doesn't pick up. He's not there for me. Our parents are like fighting. It was just like, could my life get any worse? And then it did. It just kept getting really bad. This is, this is, there's so much going on here. It's like how can how much can one person take? I think I've exacerbated the limits. Yes, yes. And so in that last moment though, do you remember the last words that you had?

exchanged and then also... Oh, that's sad. What were they? So all of a sudden, like, we're having sex one second. It goes to my dad with a knife. Derek has a knife. Wow. And two seconds, guys.

This is like two seconds. And I'm like, should I call 911? And then Derek's already on the phone with 911. My dad's calling 911 on his phone. Then the cops are out of our house. and the last things that I am told to say to Derek to him at the front porch of our houses and promise the police officer, we will no longer engage, talk, until an after court is settled. And then someone stole my phone like the next week at school when I was in P and in gym.

And then my mom's like, well, you can borrow my phone, but you can't call Derek. You cannot, you know. So communication was zapped. And it was just like signs of names. Like, these things are just break me farther and farther away from someone I really just wanted to talk to, but just wasn't going to happen then. Was, in that moment, though, that the last time you saw Derek, did he know that you were carrying his child? Oh, he definitely saw that I was pregnant and why would I be flucking him if it wasn't his kid? No, I just, but I, he didn't, he actually never pressed the issue there.

So he never acknowledged it. No, all of the acting like everybody else in gossip and drama and immature went away were then together and it's just like, I don't know, we just like love each other and we're there and we are just there. And then my dad shows up and fucking goes ballistic. But he didn't ask any of those questions then. Okay. You know, after I had my daughter, I went to go see his dad, Grandpa Jerry shout out. And he always says vividly. Farah, he came down.

And so he had to drive like three hours out of his way to go see his dad because his dad lived in a different state and where he is buried to this day. But he drove down and he was out of it. He swore up and down that he knew it was his child. And he said even if it wasn't his, he would be there for you. And I was just like, I think like that's. what we innately knew being together. But I just, again, I was, I didn't want to keep bringing how upset I was that he didn't pick up the call that he didn't take me.

I also didn't want to bring up making anyone be with me. Like, that's just not the girl I want to be. So it's just like, and let it go. Yeah. So in that moment, Therra, who's holding space for you? No one could hold space for me seriously. at that time. And I don't even think my grandparents who would sometimes try to be there. I think they were

struggling with other issues with my sister. I think a lot, it was just a lot of stress for unknown reasons at that time and I totally get that. Okay. It's hard. I mean, look, I have almost an 18 year old now and it's hard. There's just weird things that keep popping

up during these ages as you are a parent at that stage. So I get it. Sure. The day that Derek passed when you found out, how did you find out? Yes, I found out because I ignored my phone when I should have picked it up earlier

and then I woke up. My mom wanted me to sleep in bed with her that night. So I go down to her room and I'm sleeping in her room. And I'm happy she did. But then when I wake up to sneak, call my friend back because my mom went up to go cook breakfast. so I could get some teen time or, you know, my teen friend time, because it could have been about Derek.

And I know my mom doesn't want to have me talk about that or think about that. So I go and I call Katie back and Katie just all she can reiterate is what she was probably trying to get to me was Derek did in a car crash last night. Like, that's it. Like that's Katie. That's it. And she's just holding space for me on the phone. And I think like my best friends were kind of like really taken away from me when I needed probably people to hold space for me because my mom was like, no, no, no. Like it's like you're five years old again and you're not allowed to have any friends.

And that's just kind of what my parents were like. So it was really hard. And Katie was really trying to be there. I clearly didn't know how to feel. I just was like not even wanting to admit it. And I always will remember Brianna and Katie for doing what my parents should have done, doing what if anyone cared about me should have done. It wasn't a camera crew. The camera crew didn't want me to go.

It was just like them doing the right thing. And to this day, I couldn't imagine living my life without going to Derek's visitation, seeing him in his casket and having closure. because I really struggled with closure for like years after. Yes, yes. You know, you said, so you went to visitation, so you were able to see him. That's a moment I've gone through in my life where loved ones have passed. It's an incredibly hard moment. Yeah.

I've done that as an adult. Yeah. I've never had to do that as a 16-year-old. Yeah. Who, that's the father of the child that you're carrying. I mean, it's pregnant, standing right there looking at him. And I'm just looking at his hair being blonde and being like, hmm, were you having your crazy nights again? Like, I thought he was going to literally open his eyes up.

It's crazy. Yeah. It's so crazy. It is so surreal because even, like, our immature fights. And I used to be like, well, I will never be there if you die because I was so immature and young. And I had no concept of death or life or any. thing. And then when someone you love really dies, you're like, why did I say all those stupid, amateur, hurtful things trying to be cared about and loved? And I'll show up no matter what.

No matter if everybody else doesn't want me to show up, I will show up. And then all of the sudden, as I'm just trying to take like my last bell jar, I call it bell jar, I'm with like the person who you love, the person who you make a safe space with. But that's like the last time. It's interrupted by Derek's older sister, who demanded to know if that was his child. Block the casket. She shouldn't be here.

All this to her stepdad. And I don't know where his dad was. I don't know where a lot of his family was. I'm sure it's been a long, a long hours. It affected the whole community. It wasn't just Derek who died. It was also another friend and another person was in there. The stepdad's saying to be quiet, stop, da-da-da.

So I sat for a second with Katie and Brianna, and they were just like, this is ridiculous. Like, you shouldn't even be around this. Like, we're so sorry. We're happy that you got your time. And I got, you know, one of the books from the visitation. It was insane. And she never told anyone in her family that she behaved like that. Yeah.

Look at that. So you had to leave. So I did leave. What a story. You know, especially given everything that's happening to you, what actually surprises me the most are your two friends. You said Kelly and... Yeah, Katie and Brianna. Katie and Rihanna.

They... Oh my gosh. They're the MVP's of this. Yeah, they were like God's little angels. I love them. So in that time fair, that level of grief that you were going through, what was your biggest learning? I think like maybe what I went through was I call it like a widower narcissism. And I know that sounds almost bad because it has the word narcissism in it.

But you have to understand I really had to figure out. I had to give myself a quest to figure out why I cannot stop being a certain way about loss that I didn't have in the ways with other losses. Okay. Like you could have healthy loss, but then you get crazy brain and you got destructive loss. Like you got a loss, like, are you going to come back for this or are you going to freeze at a moment in history and never move on from it? And I also just didn't want to, you know, hate the world when I go outside because I see a new bridge is built. They tore down our old school, you know, all these new things and the world's going to keep changing. But I would hate it.

And I would hate if I, like, saw another man. who reminded me of him and a girl was like holding their hand like I'll tell you how crazy shit got okay and it was not fun and God my heart goes out to every man and woman who deal with like a widow or narcissism grief because it's just a wild hair that's just always going but I never got that with so many other law I've had so many people die around me so um uncontrollable crap crying was happening. I was getting kicked out of college classes. I couldn't handle any other stress. Like, it was a very miserable place. And I was also put on suicide watch. I had to start a bunch of medication. My goodness. It's just not fun. So I challenged myself to get up and out of that.

I see it. I see it. Yeah. So at this time, you are shooting a TV show. Oh, yeah. Right. So this is 16 and pregnant. 16 and pregnant. Okay. This is, what year, this is, what year is this? 2009, if you remember it. Like, MySpace, probably going to get into Facebook. Okay. So this is reality TV has been doing its thing for a little while. However, this is a different concept, 16 and pregnant.

MTV, you've got a major channel there. Yeah. So with the concept, what I'm curious about is, is already you being pregnant, how did your parents respond to that? Oh, well, I told my mom in her office, I had to present this sheet that said I was only like a couple weeks and I only had to like the seventh week to fill out this sheet to get the plan B. So I needed someone who was 18 to say yes to that, which was my mom. And then I'm like, no, I don't even, I don't even think I say I'm pregnant. I'm just like, I have this sheet.

I need you to sign this. she gets very quiet because I think she had to put like what the form was for why I'm busy in my office is quiet and then starts crying. Oh, wow. And then she says, I'm not going to kill anything, Farah. And that's my mom. So it was like, what has my mom's experiences been for one? how really heavy of this situation is this that I'm unaware of? Because I'm in like survival mode.

Like just sign this so I can survive. Because my mom raised me to feel like and she would, you know, talk negatively towards young teens and like pregnancy and stuff. Like if you do that, you're out of the house. I can't believe that. There's always a lot of negative, negative. So I thought I was going to get kicked out of my house. So I was trying to find the solution.

I see it. I see it. I see it. I see it. So then when the show comes about, how did your parents react to you saying you wanted to do this show, 16. Oh, yeah. Crazy, right? So we're not signing a sheet of paper. No plan B, everyone. Miss Carina does, you know, she sends you those things, ends up everything goes through with the casting. They want to now talk to my parents. And I basically, and they sent me the contracts to get to get to know us and to get started and to maybe come out and film. the next little steps. And I was like, you are going to sign this. I think very much from that plan B not being signed that I'm like, I'm not really giving you any more of yes, no, because I got a, I have to like try to drive a car of my life. And I like don't know where I'm going.

And I need some freaking help. So this is what I knew innately. I wanted them to sign was to the show. So I was just like, you are signing this. I am doing this show. Okay. Now, what was, I mean, I'm not messing around. I'm going to make it.

Yeah, yeah, I'm messing around. So what was your expectation of what was going to happen? Like, were you thinking you're going to make some money? You'd get some visibility. No, but that's not what I thought. What did you think? And a lot of people do just get to those points. But I really was like, they're going to give someone an opportunity to actually make it.

As a teen mom, you're going to make it. like you're going to get through this. Like you were going to be a great parent. They're actually going to give someone that opportunity. And I know like when I say that, it might sound so small. But really when you like look back at everyone from the show, they didn't make it out okay. They didn't, they don't have a good relationship that I have with my daughter. And so I think like my promise and my hope and my fantasy was I get to have a good relationship. with my child. Okay, but how so? How did you think this show was going to give you that opportunity? I just knew like I was, this is me making it. So like, keep in mind, I don't know anything about

television and I don't know anything about what's going on, but I'm like, I get to show how to overcome every obstacle. I see it. Because, oh, one of the questions of me, this is why I had this grandious thought, was what can people learn from watching you? And I answered that on our own. And by the way, it was very interesting. I was like, oh, my God. Like when I got to watch back and see when they publicize our casting tapes, all the casting tapes, sorry, am I like, oh, it's just all these memories in my head. When I see Amber, Macy, Caitlin, they're all saying the same thing as I said and I'm like what kind of deja vu trickery what but none of us knew each other no one knew what about anything until it was like released in 2000 and what was it 2009 or something to show

later on that year but that's the crazier thing we all set out thinking like we're going to show how we overcome all the challenges of parenting but for some reason in my head that meant I the opportunity to be the greatest parent and they're going to make a will in a way so that I can be this. I see it. I see it. So I don't know. I latched onto that belief and I got in alignment with that and had a little promise there. Okay. We have a lot of big conversations on this show and yes, they sometimes get challenging, but they're always worth having. So let me ask you this. Is perfection getting in the way of your piece? If so, it might be time to take off the pressure and add some ease to your routine. For me, ease looks like getting in my essential nutrients and vitamins with our sponsor

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slash WNTT. When Westcham first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion. Inline skates were everywhere. and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board.

Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. What I find so interesting is that that show, 60 and pregnant, then lent itself to another show. Teen mom franchise, like who would have guessed?

The teen mom franchise. Yeah. And just to speak to, I'm sure you know how big, the show was. 16 and pregnant and teen mom had more views than the Winter Olympics. They beat Jersey Shore. Like, it was the biggest and most popular thing.

This was a ginormous show. No matter how much I went to bat, I was always difficult. I was always, like, it was always, you know, fair as a problem. And I think looking back, everything that I did to protect myself from not calling them, like, a family to me, I think that was my gut protecting myself. Are you open to disclosing what those payment bumps were? Because I think, you know, this is also a time. It's interesting.

We had Spencer Pratt on. And he was giving us a breakdown of how much he and Heidi were making. Yeah. But how it basically started from nothing. But even at the heyday, it was still a lot less. Oh, it was still nothing in my eyes. and I knew the truth. I knew the truth.

I would go, God, there was someone I was dating who was working with Brian C. C. Crest. Ryan Crest would just start telling me, like, Farah, you need to fight. Right. Because I am seeing these ratings. Why would I have you on my radio show if you were doing well? And I'm like, I don't know. You just wanted to talk? No.

So, like, Ryan really got me to pipe up. A lot of people got me to pipe up. And they also looked at me like I could be so much more if I knew what I had to work with. And I just, I think I like got to the realest point in my life guys where like I couldn't get any realer because I'm living in my car, not sleeping for two days because I'm working, going to school, watching my kid. So you were living in your car. I did. While you're filming this hit show. I think three of the female producers who came out that time, they knew how horrific everything was.

It wasn't a joke. they said, we are not, we are going to call them and we are going to demand that you are paid right now. This is crazy that you're living like this. Yes. So, and I'm curious, too, I can't believe you were living in a car, working all these jobs. What was the most? What did you finally get to in terms of payment? Oh, sorry.

I am so sorry with my ADHD. Yeah, when did you actually get money? Yeah, yeah, did you make anything? How did you make it? Yeah, I just ran in circle. did charity work. I just did charity work. So it was only 3,500 from that first one. And then I think I only got 25,000 from teen mom. Then I had Caitlin and Tyler call me. This is when I was like so depressed that I was like, I would need a boob job to make me feel better. So we were doing this scene that's on teen mom that's like, oh, I think I want to have a boob job. They ask. They say they're making. making 10,000 an episode. And again, I'm only making like 25,000 in total.

And I hear what they tell me. That they're making 10,000 episode. And I get so upset. After, like, they just made me do I see, like, talking me out of giving a boob job or whatever that I feel that I need. And I'm like, okay, for one, they don't have their kid. I do. I'm doing this on my fucking own.

Against all odds, literally. Like, who's really supporting me? No one. Okay. That I then make up and I say, oh, yeah, I'm actually making $15,000 an episode because I was so hurt. So you just made it up? I just made it up out of spite, out of anger. And I was like, oh, well, I'm sorry that you're making less money than me.

Da-da-da-da-da. So nothing was fair. And I don't know if it would ever be fair. But they then switched it one season. I think it was season three because it was doing amazing. They switched it to say, oh, well, we're actually not getting a new season. We're just going to extend season three. We're going to keep extending it.

Every time that I am sitting with fans and supporting this show and I'm watching, you know, season four, season five, season whatever. Right. Because I'm like, I'm just stuck under this contract. That's really how I lost so much money. I just couldn't stand sitting there anymore, sacrificing my child's life. But I hope to, like, create my daughter's own shows. I hope that we get to do, like, something in true crime or, like, she likes goth and I, like, law. And so I hope, like, there's this whole new thing that keeps coming up, you know?

Yeah, I'm sure there will be. Yeah. But when you think about the good times, right? I mean, this was an 16 and pregnant and teen mom. It's an international franchise. What was, what were the good times? like in that franchise. What did that give you?

Man, the good times, I feel like I only made them. Like, I was trying against all odds to have good times. Like, literally, I think I'm the only teen mom who, like, did huge club tours, huge nightclubs, like, you name it. I'm like, I'm going for it and I'm traveling, and I would argue with the producers of Teen Mom on my front line. I mean, like, I am going to go do Celebrity Big Brother. I am going to go do this other show.

Like, I fought for those really fun times. And I still fight for those really fun times because I want to have fun with people who I work with. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're very visible.

Do you feel like you're the most popular person from that franchise? Look, I don't want to, you know, I don't want to, like, say I am. But I probably am. Fair. This is fair. Yeah. So now you just mentioned, though, that you had to go out and find other sources of income. Yeah.

And this is a place where I'd love for you to give some clarity because is this where there was a lawsuit that came about because I believe they thought that you were getting into adult entertainment. But why did you hire me back when you knew I was dealing with that? Okay. And that's a weirder thing. Every time they'd fire me, I'd get hired on another like MTV X on the beach. Like I'd get hired on another MTV show, but they would continue to fire. me on the teen mom show. And so like I had a little fun. I took some time off. I got a manager. And she was just like you were so popular. Like, you know, everyone knew because they worked in

entertainment. They lived in Los Angeles. This was their lives. They knew what to do more so with someone like me than I knew what to do with myself or my parents or anyone around me. But I didn't know really where her background came from. It ended up being in porn. And one thing led to another of depression, you know, wanting sex and not being like all over the place, but then kind of being wronged, which ended up turning into a celebrity sex tape. Okay. Can I mention his name? Sure, of course.

Is this a James Dean? Yeah. Okay. So this is, you are how old when, when you. Was I 20? 20. Yeah. Just got back from Miami.

Just got back from Miami. You weren't dating anyone. No. I mean, but there was crazier sex life things here, like a guy like inviting me to orgies in Miami, like dating other celebrity friends of mine. Like, it was wild down there. And it was too wild then. So I came back to Iowa. Okay.

Okay. But so you and Jane, James. Yes. You had met through Gina, my manager at the time. Okay. And but she knew so many porn stars. It wasn't just like, here's James. And she was really on a thing of like, well, let me be your mom.

And I do feel like she knew my vulnerability was that I obviously didn't get along with my mom. That was all over. And she was like, I think you should move to LA. Like, you could be my daughter. Keep in mind, her daughter is like on these calls and hearing this. And I'm just hyper aware of the jealousy probably from my sister, my grandma, my mom growing up. Yes. And I think it like really, you know, yes, I probably needed comfort.

I needed someone to hold space for me because no one is. Okay. But I think I was just in a very, I had to do sex trauma therapy about the sex tape that we're talking about. And I look at this thing and I see me being so sad and just needing like a touch, a touch of love so desperately. And I think sometimes when you're so desperate, you need to just go get mental help and not go for sex and drugs and alcohol or Coke or whatever you want to reach for. Right. Go get some 12-step therapy. but that is what I sadly reached out to at a very vulnerable time.

And I did have a chin implant that I didn't ask for. I woke up to it when I got my nose job in Miami. And then the doctor was like, could you please just wait a year? And then if you don't like it, we'll take it out. But that was one of the worst years of my life, the most desperate, the most insecure, the most need of some kind of motherly love, some kind of a physical touch. And I always just say like Base dysmorphia

is a real, real hard thing to overcome. Even like the producers that I started working with, again, the sex tape came out, the production wanted to continue to work through this mess that I was going through. Wow, wow.

And even though, I mean, I could see how this year, do you recall what year that was that we're talking about? 2013. All right, 2013. Okay, so... In 2009, my life changed.

Then 2013, it changed again. Yeah. And I could see, too, is you are a household name 2013. Yeah. Lots of attention. I was not ready for that or couldn't be in the headspace to be available for that yet. Yes.

And then to what your point earlier, which I thought was well said is, is that a lot of people were hate watching you. So I would imagine, not I would imagine, I remember you were in all the tabloids. Yeah. You know, so it becomes, what did you feel like people just wanted to see you fail? Yeah, for sure. So with you and James, when that whole thing happened, were you, did you know that it was being filmed? Did you know that?

Well, for sure. I was like, I want to make a sex tape. I just want to have fun. All right. And I just like want to remember this because like I want something for me. There was no problem with me having my own like footage and like me exploring. Right. There was a problem when he wanted to lie about things.

There was a problem when he just went around me without my consent and made like his whole like a press press release. Like someone meet me here with a camera and I'm going to talk about Farron. And I'm going to say that we did a porn. Like if that was consensual, I messaged him immediately after I saw that. And I said, why would you do that when you didn't ask me? Never texts me back. continues his charades of press and all of his attention. And of course, I'm yelling at the manager who's like, oh, he would never say anything.

Like he has sex all the time. He's a porn, so he's a professional, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. All of that. And so I literally was just like, yeah, I think that's really screwed up. Right. So, yeah, that was really hurtful and a lot to unpack. And I didn't have to do sex trauma therapy on that. That's why I could talk maybe as good as I'm trying to have that.

it today. No, no, I mean, you're painting the picture. And I think what is important for me, at least, is that what you were attempting to do at this time was to have agency. Agency. Sorry if I couldn't get that word. Oh, no. Yeah. Agency. Like, it's your sex life. Where is that for me? I was really fumbling the ball and trying to find it. Yeah. And so then part of that was you then sold the rights to it, the part of it. So the rumor always was that you sold it for a million, for over a million. Yeah, but that's not accurate. I still own it till this day. Okay. I'm still an owner until this day. All right. So then what then led to the, to the firing then? Was it that I was asking for my daughter to be paid more on MTV as an equal because they're not paying her dad.

They're not paying anyone else. My parents were filming less. They kept saying that they were taking away. You know, if you're failing less, then you get paid less. And like, Sophia is always here. She's always phoning. You guys need to pay her more. Okay.

They refuse. Fair nations or, you know, all they, yeah, favor nations. All the kids need to be paid the same. And I'm like, we are not all in the same situation. And I am not going to continue to hear this. And I do open up Sophia's own children's boutique in store for her to earn more money. I open up my furniture store. opened up a frozen yogurt store. I do like three other TV shows that are around the world.

And I also signed two contracts. I think it was like for 50,000 apiece for me to just show up on a live cam company website for an hour and talk to fans. That was that cam company was an adult company, but they wanted celebrities to be there to make it more mainstream, obviously. Okay. So I just said, yes, I needed the money. I'm a single parent. And to the same. And to the same. state, no one can get in the way of me earning money because I need that as a single woman, as a widower. So I'm going to do work. They don't want to pay me more. They always argue. They always fight. You went to 2026 about money. Right. And I'm going to go ahead and do it. Morgan comes and flies in on my day off to fire me, making me work, making me found. I do it

anyways. I always do everything in good faith. They don't. Fires me at my dad's house. And Morgan is from New York. New York. From production. Okay. Yes. So he says I'm the only girl out of 10 girls who's difficult. I just say that he should have handled it better.

So he just didn't want to hear it. And he wanted to say, okay, well, you're going into adult entertainment. And he orchestrated that in scenes with Caitlin Tyler, may see everybody else. So I don't have to agree with what any man tells me about who I am, what I am, what I'm becoming. and he never let the teen mom, the woman perspective, ever come out. And I think that is a disservice to the 16 and pregnant franchise, to the teen mom franchise. And I just think it's a disservice for other men to follow in those footsteps.

And that sadly is what attracts to me, is what happens to me. And them always allowing other cast members to attack me like on our specials. So I've been attacked multiple times when I've gone out here in Hollywood. I had a guy handcuff itself to me. And it was because I was on a face of the commercials at the time. And so hate TV creates hate in real life. And people really need to be held more accountable for what they're doing to women. And I don't think any other woman would be as strong as I am to get through what I've been through.

Yeah, because on this, too, is right around this time, you were arrested several times. Yeah. Doing nothing. Yeah, so what happened during these arrests? When was at Beverly Hills Hotel? I was standing up for my girlfriend, and I just wasn't having it, and I was like, stop touching her, stopped me in handling her. And I was there all day. They claimed on the news that I was trespassing when I was there all day with my daughter at the pool.

But anyways, just held me in jail, tried to find something on me and never did. Is it what? Because did you get physical with them? Was that it or no? I basically like smacked him and said, get your hands off my girlfriend and she doesn't need to stay with you. And I tried to leave and they took my belongings of my stuff. And when I got out of jail, you see the girl throwing me my phone. And yeah, my lawyer was so upset that a friend would do that to me.

It's sad. It's a sad world that we live in. Like the lies, the insanity, like I'm really always just so blessed I'm alive. And I think like that last attack, I had severe PTSD. I kind of act right. And so the producers of teen moms sent me to an intensive trauma center. That's how I found my way back to Austin. Okay, okay.

You know, then, if you could go back to that moment that you first found out about 16 and pregnant. When I was pregnant or, yeah, I was like sad, just trying to please my parents via people, please her. But knowing everything that you know, would you still have joined the show? Yeah. Hands down. But I'm going to take a second breath. I think I can't regret anything that I've done or said or chose or, you know, the losses that I've had, the insanities and rebuilding my identity. Like, I can't go back and say anything yes or no because like that's just like, what if what if I didn't even have my daughter, you know?

It's like, who would I be right now? So I'm really just grateful I stood in the hard times and came out. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now, what then becomes the relationship with your parents? Where did that land?

Yeah. So I think we did this great show called Family Boot Camp. And I think in the end, you're tasked as a child of your parents that are with you. you to choose one or the other or yourself. And I chose myself. And I think both of my parents were sad, but it sent a loud message that, like, I'm not going to be the ping pong in between you both anymore. And that took up a lot of my energy and my power through my 20s. Okay. So you said you've selected yourself. So do you talk to your parents? I do talk to my parents here and there. Okay. I have really kind of, you know, detached

with love is all I can say. I have shown mad gratitude for every moment that I could spend with them. Even if it's a hard moment, I have mad gratitude because I know I don't get it. I know I won't get it. And so, yeah, you only get a little bit of love sometimes from your family and you got to keep it moving. Yeah. But it sounds like you still want it, though. Can't keep putting them on a pedestal.

So. Yeah. It's hard to grieve the love that you just don't get. I'd say I feel so incredibly sad, you know, hearing this because I can see that what you have been asking for, looking for, begging for is just love. It's that feeling of, and we all want and need this, this emotional safety. I think we all need some love. Okay, we do. I give it.

I love giving love, you know. I love making other people's day. And I love, you know, volunteering. I love my daughter saying that she gets the love that she was. Yes. So if I could help that for someone else, I love that. Yeah. Yeah.

It's hard. Yeah. I tell you, what is so beautiful, though, is to see how you have really leaned into motherhood. Yeah. And we're going to go there. Yeah. By the way, if you ever need it, there's a tissue right there. Okay.

I'm like, I think I just need a second. Hey there. I just want to say, thank you for choosing we need to talk. Doing this podcast is one of the greatest joys of my life. And I want to continue to share it with you. So hit follow and the bell icon. It takes just a second and it helps us to continue to grow this podcast. I think that.

one place of healing that we haven't talked about yet, but you've been mentioning it in our conversation is you mentioned facial dysmorphia. Oh, yeah, it's real. And then we can talk about body dysmorphia. Yeah. So we talked a little bit about you correcting a bump on your nose, but you said that when you went to that surgery, you woke up with a chin that you didn't ask for. Yeah, legit. How does that happen? Um, so the, The doctor beforehand had mentioned, okay, so I'm going to just shave your nose down. And then he's like, well, what about your chin and what about all this? And I was like, no, my chin's fine.

I never even brought up my chin. Like, I'm totally fine. I don't eat anything. But here's the thing. I was awake for two days before the press thing that they wanted to do for the surgery. Okay. And the nose surgery was so, like, had me anxious and, like, maybe because it's on my nose and you're breathing out of it. and so anxious.

And I was so swollen. So, like, I was so naive. Like, when I woke up for two days before this pressing, no one told me that I had a chin implant. And I found out when we were doing press because the reporter's like, so why is all your face swollen, Farad? I'm like, oh, my God, he gave me a chin implant. And I was so, like, fuck.

like what man would do that? When I talk about it now and now they're doing TV shows where people are removing their plastic surgery because the surgeons have gone so far. And they even interview me to create one of the shows that's out

because I knew about this with me with this whole chin dysmorphia problem. And I have to say like, I can't even believe that someone who I rooted for to get a TV show and everything for this plastic surgeon that he did that to me.

So you go in, for one type of surgery. And I say no, no, no, no, no to everything. And my mom was calling me a witch in that year because of a chin implant. I couldn't even, again, be... I was just so mortified of myself. Like, I even, like, was cheating on the boyfriend that I had for three years, on and off, of course. And then I did, like, my own, like, private sex thing that I wanted to do

because I didn't feel comfortable doing it with my boyfriend that I had on and off for so long. And then that turned into a whole... problem, but I can't ever describe it to you how awful that year was for me. And nothing like that has ever happened again since I've removed the chin implant. Okay. Okay. Yeah. All right. So then crazy. So yeah, it's that's bizarre. Unbelievable. That's bizarre. That's bizarre. You know, if something's going to make you happy, go for it. But I will say I did all of my surgeries out of a depressive, grieving state. And yeah. Yeah. Again, I told you on the photo, you showed me of Derek and I happy, happier, happier than ever.

Exactly. Happier than ever there. Also, something that stands out to me so much based on what you just said, why you did your surgery, is we had Dr. Terry DeBrow. Oh, he worked with me. Yes. He was sitting right there. And I know that you were embouched. Yeah.

And one thing that I remember, I watched your episode. Yeah. And there was some, there was a statement that you gave. It's profound. It said, you said, I did all of my surgery to please other people. Yeah, probably. It was for other people. Yeah.

Think about that. I do. And then, you know, the booze, I've had to end up getting done three times. Just my body just kind of like fights, fights them. But yeah, I think I even said the other way, I'm like, I just take my boob implants out. I'm just like if I'm happier than like less is more like I don't know that's just really me and my thoughts at the end of the day when I'm home on my own which is always and I don't you know like what are boobs boobs are a selling mechanism for you know kind of like adult stuff and I do

hear you know other husbands you know say negative things towards her wives like when they remove their boob implants. And I think in the back of my head, it's shunned really in society. Like, remove your boob implants. Be less feminine. A man's not going to love you if you don't have them. So, like, those are real concerns of my insecurity to be loved is what you've learned about me. I won't love so bad. And the reasons probably of why I still have boob implants. Yeah. Did you just say that your boobs are a selling mechanism? Well, they are, you know. If I don't have double D, probably in my profiles online, are all my teams, you know, 20 plus people who work for me, are they all going to sell more?

Probably not because it's not a big boo page, right? Like, look, this is the world I was born into, not what I'm creating. Right. But I'm letting you know how a single woman survives in life through this wide world. Gotcha. Okay. No, I hear you. I'm just being honest.

No, no. I hear you. I hear you. I hear it, and I appreciate the honesty. Yeah. But so it sounds like what you're also saying is that... I do love that Derek loved me with no double D's, my regular nose, that literally the world of me and I have the messages that I cherish in all the work that I do when I recreate.

I mean, I read it one yesterday just because I wanted to read it and forget about myself. Like, what a gift. Yes. And what was that that you wrote yesterday? Oh, he wrote, or he wrote to me in 2001, 2008 or something, and it was just saying, like, everything about me was perfect. Like, he loved me. He thought that I was so mature compared to other people without me in his life. Like, he wouldn't be him and he loves me so much.

Like, he wrote me the most beautiful letters, not to compare to anyone, but I just, and other people wrote me great letters, too. but there's just something about authentic Farah being loved that other people don't authentically love. Like they just love like Big Boob Farah or whatever, a teen mom Farah at a certain time when I was super depressed, don't want to go back to that. So I love when I'm loved and I'm just loving. I just like that whole love.

I like that love. Yes, yes. But that seems to be more of an authentic. love because it seems like you well let me ask have you been in love since derrick i think i tried to love someone and i think i give love i think i give love but i don't think i'm in like so i can't say like i was in love with my ex three years ago i'm just like i gave i gave him love he didn't know what to do with it and but i'm not in love but i'm not in with them. I think sometimes I was just not capable. I think where I'm at now is I am capable. I do

want to love. But I also know I will not get in love with someone if I don't see all the signs that they can get, that they can reciprocate. Okay. Okay. So can we talk about you in dating? Yeah. Because something I read and you need to tell me if this is the truth. I've done a lot of work in dating. But yeah. Yeah, yeah. You've done a lot of work. You've done a lot of work. And you have a lot of, I think, requirements that I have never your requirement list. What kind of requirements? I saw that you require men to sign an NDA. Is that rough?

Have an STD check. Well, thank God. And sometimes have a vasectomy. Well, thank you. God, is that not a dream or what? But is that, that's your list. God is great. This is your list.

Sign me up. I'm ready to be. be in love. But this is it, really? Shit, don't tell me for a good time. That sounds like a good safe time. Yeah. It does sound like a good safe time.

Oh, geez, sounds like I should be dating there. Tell me where the club is. Really? But is that truly your requirement list? I feel really good with that. Okay. I would so being honest, yes. Yes.

Makes me happy. Really? So how do you approach that when you're dating? It's like, okay, I need you to sign an NDA and I need an STD check. Well, I know if you're not going to sign an NDA, you're not going to be honest and trustworthy. Don't care a million years down the road. If you have an issue with it, then you don't want to be authentic. I'm going to be straight up authentic to you.

And it's not going to go anywhere. And I'm sorry, like I just had a million people make a million excuses of. I would never do that or professional or this or this or that. Then they go and do some bad stuff. So I don't play about my piece. We got to sign an NDA. We got to be on the same page. What was the thing?

STD tests. Are we kidding? I need, after being sexually assaulted and doing a rape kit and all that other craziness and blood work for six months and making sure that I am clean. Yeah, I'm going to do some STD tests. Say the same to my daughter. Are you playing? We are not playing with that. Okay.

Okay. Vesectomy? Bicectomy? Look, we've started out without a vasectomy, but then we realized the grass is greener with the vasectomy. So, yeah, vesecting all the way. Okay. Why is the grass greener with the vasectomy? Because you take the fear and anxiety out of your sex life. Okay, okay. So now... I didn't have any fear and anxiety before I had a vasectomy. Did you ever get a vasectomy? Who meat, no. No. No. Free balling. All right. Literally.

Literally. Literally. But I think you're also in a space that you're not having fear and anxiety in your sex life or your partner and your family and those things, which is a beautiful thing. But other men who are out there dating and they're like, oh my God, I got to pull out. Oh, my God. She's going to act like she's pregnant and like stick me to herself or like, you know, all these things. And I'm just like, no, I'm going to tell you to just go get a sex to me, save your sperm, have a baby when you want, consent to it. get your right partner. And I'm not trying to do anything bad to you. I just want a good time. I want to

have fun with my person, my partner. I'm like, let's go crazy. But that's, I think I'm just getting rid of any doubts towards me. Okay. So then walk me through this, though. I am the right pick. Okay, okay. All right. I'm not going to argue on that, right? Okay. So have you had men who have said, no, I'm not going to do the NDA or STD check or? Totally. And I'm like, that's great. don't do it. I'm not going. I won't meet you there. I won't be there. Okay. Okay. So this is definitely a boundary for you. I have definite boundaries, yeah, especially with like crazy cases and stuff that I'm dealing with. So yeah. Okay. I mean, and it was kind of just like also like dating someone my last year's relationship when it came to kind of like harder legal battles and

courts and things like that with me. Like I realize like some men are just not capable of handling the things that I have to go through and get through, sadly, at this time in my life. Maybe if they met me, you know, a year after or a month after everything was all roses and, like, all the attacks were out of my way, then maybe, like, those relationships would have worked out. But some men are just not down for the long haul. So I just know, like, I got to have a guy who can really have a good time. Yes, yes. No, I, and also I would imagine, too, is you need a peer.

You know, now you are a public figure. Yeah. Right. Do you need a man who is also public figure or you prefer them not to be? I think I'm really into like businessmen. I mean, but you could be a public figure and a business man. You know what I'm saying? All right.

Best date that you have ever been on. Oh, it's a very love bombing date. Oh, really? Girls are going to be like, no, it's not a round date. Uh-oh. I'm ready for it. I'm ready for it. So I do think my dreamiest, because he was trying to use so dreamy, so love bombing.

He pulls up a one-of-one car on the tarmac, has his private jets, and meets me here in Los Angeles, and wild fun on the jet, and that we land over in Las Vegas to a one-of-one historical boxing match. And we're front row. And then it was just like, you know, little Romeo. He like saves me. He has a Rolls Royce. He's got the villa. And, you know, it's a love bombing dream. And I tend to find myself in those.

I attract them actually. Like, you know, if you're a guy with a Ferrari or, God, what's another car that always is attracted to me? Rolls Royce is in, Ashton Morton. I feel like if you're one of those men, you're definitely going to love my energy. But now that I have just really come to wake up to every day loudly, I just don't like love bombing. I hear you. Yeah. I hear you.

So then what would your worst date be? Oh, my God. My worst date was when I was filming a TV show. They wanted to put us on dates. And I think I was staying at my moms at the time in between, like, trying to find a house or something. They put me on a date with a man who, for reals, lives with his mom full time to have him help him raise his kids. And I was like, look, guys, I am going to endure this state. but in no world that I live in

would I ever go on a date with a man who cannot somehow live on his own and provide for himself just because I'm like staying at my parents' house I think it's like a kind of a different thing and I'm also like filming with them it was just like a difference like I don't sit here like a crutch

like I don't just sit if I wasn't like filming so I think like that was a little I don't know what they were trying to do with that day it was a little off is a little off. All right. Now, in either of those two dates, did those men sign NDAs?

Hmm. No, this was before my roles. Oh, really? Both. Yeah, they could just, you know, have STDs. They could blab their mouths, which I knew the one with the job

was not going to do that. And I knew he wasn't going to have sex with me. And what was the other situation? Oh, well, if it was actually, we didn't need to go there. Okay. All right. All right, fair, fair.

All right. Can I show you something? something else. Yeah. You ready for this? Okay. All right. This is one of my favorites.

I'm going to go to here. Ready? Okay. Tell me what is happening in this? Oh my God. What is happening? And this is this is this is Sophia's dad's sign. The Grandpa Jerry bought for him in loving memory of Derek Underwood, her dad.

We got to visit Grandpa Jerry. We visited his gravestone, his cemetery in. Missouri. Okay. So this was that. I was still a little struggling, a little depressed there, but Sophia was so happy. And I let her at this age stay for some of the summers. They would go fishing, all the grandkids and grandpa. All right. And made her so happy. Yes. Yes. So look at that. You are struggling in this, but you acknowledge how happy your daughter is. Yeah, for sure. in this. And now the, you're also ensuring that she knows who her father is. For sure. Always. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. Love it. I'll hold on to that one. Yeah. So can we talk about motherhood?

Let's talk about motherhood. All right. So the world really saw you grow as a mom. Yeah. Which is unique because you, every mom and every father, right, fumbles a little bit. But when you look at your journey, what would you say that you are most proud of as a mom? That I showed my daughter love and that she knows what love is. Okay. I think that's a super powerful thing to find and know and be able to find when you need it within yourself. and that my daughter has. Yes, yes.

Now, the relationship between you and your daughter seems to be incredibly strong. I'd say so. But also, too, is it seems as if you two are friends. Is that fair to say? I'm really a mom. You're really, okay, interesting. So you don't associate being a friend with being a mom. I think my, I heard my daughter the other day describe me, and she says that,

I'm for sure her mom. I'm sassy. I'm fun. And I just show her a lot of love. So I think, like, that maybe is what my daughter thinks of me. I will say, like, compared to some of my other mom friends, I'm making my daughter do her chores. I have a whole chore board on the kitchen counter because I just refuse to repeat myself. You know, I can only do so much.

I am my mom. and I can only do so much as one person and so I very much am structured but I'm fun and I let things go because I have my ADHD and I forget stuff but I mean I don't know if I'm too much of it I mean look the kids Sophia has always known that all of her kids kids

kids friends love me I'm like the young mom I'm fun I'm like the coolest you know don't tempt me for a good time but I also have to be a real parent and sometimes I am very much more accountable and mature than some of the other parents around me. So I don't know if I can just be like I'm a friend. I know it looks like in photos and I'm like a little besty, but I can't help that I'm just a teen mom. I am very much a mom. Well, you got serious there. Yeah, I think a lot of people think I'm just a friend sometimes

and I'm like, no. And I think like a lot of men have challenged me when dating me and they always act like I just give my daughter everything and to put my foot down and even my dad's wife when I was last with them a couple months ago was behaving like that and that really got to me and I just have to like say to anyone and everyone like I take I look at my daughter differently than I am she was born as a public figure she also has different rights and different things that I need to be respectful of. And I am not going to hold her back in any shape, way or form because of my way I was raised. So like, you know, she wants a brand new car and is the sports car and, like, she has the money and she's worked her whole life for it.

And I worked very hard to invest her money so that she can have what she has. She's going to get it. And some people look at me as like, you're treating her like a friend. You're not putting your foot down. You should go buy her a used old piece of whatever. You know, I'm not going to go against It's my daughter's wishes. It is her stuff. It is her life to consent to. And I take that real serious right now. Yeah. I see it. I see it. You know, and I also know, you said your daughter was born a public figure. Yeah. She's had to also manage everything, you know, the storm around you. Yeah. You know, the public storm. It's a lot for her. Yeah. So when you talk to her, how do you help her to manage that?

well, whether it's supporters of the show, fans or haters, whatever it may be, and they want to interject, they want to obviously get us off of our focus of shopping or whatever we're doing. They need a photo. They need whatever they need. You know, Sophia didn't really take that lightly at first. More like, no, I'm going to keep going about my life. And, like, they don't, like, let's just ignore them. And if, like, that's not real good social skills.

We just go through everything and we think, well, how do we want them to feel once leaving us? Do we want other people to feel like they didn't matter? We are selfish in our own stuff. Like, do you want to just set the boundary of this is what I can do? And then I need to give back to what I do want to do. And there's this fine rhythm and dance to life. And I think that all I was doing was showcasing and reasoning with my daughter of how do we want to do these things?

How do you want to get the like through this or like the finish. look at this. And I think like that's really just been something for her to gauge and see. I see it. I see it. So also in, it's not just telling someone what to do. Okay. You know, blind. I feel like what a lot of people are raised with like I was is just like blindly being obedient. And I think, you know, some people do that in religion. I think they do that in their lives. You do whatever you want to do to get through it. But I do not teach my child to blindly believe me, blindly be obedient to me, blindly anything with me. And I also don't treat her like I'm going to blindly believe her. And I think that is holding others accountable, which my

parents did not have, you know, whether it's a belt for why am I being belted because I couldn't read a Bible verse? Like, blindly obedient. I'm in the Antichrist because I'm not going to agree with you, but yet I am sharing what I'm feeling and you don't want to hear it. So she hits me. front of everyone on TV. Wow. This is your mother. Yes. So I don't do the blind obedience.

I will do the reasoning. I will talk through it. And I tell you what, my daughter will sometimes catch herself trying to be all holier than now. Sometimes she thinks she's right. And then I'm like, well, if I were to reason that and I say this out loud, what does it sound like? And I'll just like reverberate what she's saying.

And she's like, okay. And I'm just so grateful that I could be like that soundboard for her. Yes, yes. Something that I believe you've done a great job in as a parent. And something that I see in your daughter is her ability to lean into who she is. Yeah. And own that. Be proud of that. And that's something that I wish more, more children were able to do. Yeah. I'm really happy for Sophia, for her finding that, really. I'm like, Sophia, did I just not notice this? Like, everybody acts like it's such a big deal. And I'm like, but I think maybe. you were just doing it anyways. Like sometimes she would just wear black. Like I have pictures of her when she's little.

Just wearing black and having fun. But like she tells me all the time like something about my legs to my butt ratio. And I'm like, what do you want to do? Go suck all my fat out? I'm like, I worked very hard to get this fat, I guess. So I'm going to just let it be. Yes. Like let me be.

Yes. And I just like let her know that she can let be. And like if she needs help with any of her stuff like, you know, don't be in. care about it, like lean into it, like figure it out. And I think, you know, her body is different than mine. And I'm just, again, grateful to let her learn about herself because, like, she's going to be her biggest advocate. Like, if I'm not there, she's got to know how. And I think I could send my daughter into like a war zone and she's going to be okay, which I did kind of do that for a summer camp with no phones, no AC. It was all outside. It's one of the most prestigious summer camps

that the kids can go to Camp Longhorn in Texas. And literally, she thrived through it. She made so many friends. She was like the only girl at all of the dances who was like, no, I don't need a boy to go with me. And all of her girlfriends, we've been to concerts together around the nation here. And I was really happy. She survived it.

She used to act like, oh, my God, I can't live without my phone and all my extra stuff. But she did it. Look at that. Look at that. It was fun. She did it apart because of you. Yeah. So she was like, okay, I can now do stuff.

Now she likes to do more stuff and be independent because she was very non, very codependent on me. And I was like, no, I think you should go do stuff with the kids or your friends. We're like new friends or like new kids, you know. Yes. But yeah, we do enjoy it so much of our time together. Yes, yes. But we're not besties. We enjoy our company.

Fair enough. Fair enough. What do you believe you mean to her? I don't know. Strength comes to mind, but I don't know if that's what she would say. Okay. All right, fair enough. So then that means this last surprise I have is very important for you.

Okay. I'm guessing right. You ready? You ready? Yes. I have this for you. Oh, wow. You think you could open that up and read it for us?

Yes. And I like the handwriting. Whoever wrote this. I like the blue. I like the blue. Loving the blue. Okay, let's read this. Okay.

This is a letter, everyone. Okay, my mother, I would not want to go through every impact. Hold on, who wrote this? Is this my daughter? My mother? Okay, I like my mother. All right, I would not want to go through

every impactful moment in my life with anyone else. Aw. You have endured for a more. devastating events than you deserve, oh my God. Do I have to read this? I just am like, oh, my God. This is so great. Would you let me read to me?

Can you read it to me? Otherwise, I think I'm going to cry if it's for my daughter. I'm like, oh, my God. I will read it to you. Okay. So my mother, I would not want to go through every impactful moment in my life with anyone else. You have endured far more devastating events than you deserve yet. You choose to stay strong and guide me, helping me avoid getting lost in life and make the right decision so I don't have

to go through anything worse than you did. You, my mother, have shown me the world and also shown me the impact we have on it. You have shaped my life in the best way, although growing up with millions of eyes on me, my focus has always stayed locked on yours. I have always trusted you, and you have always been by my side no matter how hard people tried to tear us apart. Even through the toughest years of my life, you helped me back up and taught me how to properly work through mental struggles and help me flourish. And even though my father is not here, you have given you. me the love, guidance, and support that most mothers and fathers cannot provide combined.

I am very grateful that you and I got to grow up together. I admire your strength, responsibility, and your incredible work ethic. And I wouldn't change anything about you. I am so proud of you, and I'm very happy to be your daughter. I love that so much. I'm going to like frame that. It's coming home in my office. All right. I'm going to give this to you. I'm going to give you all of your gifts.

I'm like I'm leaving this with that. Wow. What an amazing podcast. What a gift. Oh, God, that made my whole year, my whole life, my whole heart. I thought that was so beautifully written. I can't even believe it. Like my daughter just, again, just amazing.

Yes. It's just amazing. And you know what's so interesting is what she said. It echoes everything that you said. I know. I'm like, what? I'm like, who wrote this? And it's so crazy that it's from my daughter.

Yes. And I was like, just make sure you like write a letter to Chrissy because Chrissy was asking her for some letter. And then she was like cooking dinner. And I don't know. She was just so quiet after her letter. She's like, yeah, I already sent it or something. and I was running around packing and fixing the pet stuff.

And then she was cooking dinner and stuff. And she was just like, I wrote the letter. I hope you like it. Like she was just like teasing about how great it was. But it really is amazing. I'm going to do something extra with her this weekend. I love her. There you go.

I think you need to buy her a new car. Basically, she chose my car that I just bought. That you just bought. Yeah. All right. So here's the last topic. Uh-huh. you and running for office.

Oh, yeah. I'm so grateful that I could. So I know that you formally announced that you would run for mayor of... I know, and I messed up. Of Austin, right, Austin, Texas? Austin, Texas. Go Longhorns. Yes, yes.

Yeah. My brother lives in Austin. Go Austin. Yes. Yeah. So we had Spencer Pratt sit right here on this couch. Yes. And do you know that this was the first place that he announced that he was running for mayor of L.A.

Oh, my God. Before his press conference, he said it right. He said it right here. Yeah. So, yeah, you just have to have that justification within yourself. And I, you know, just had a flood and a fire at my house. I was staying at my dad's. And something innately overcame me.

And I had thought about doing this in 2020. Okay. and of course COVID and all this other junk happened. But I was like, even though I planned on running for it and I know this fire and this flood happened and all this craziness, I need to step in and help the city. Like I just know that things are getting wild. All my friends are moving out of here. The rents are getting too high. All this other stuff.

They can't figure out if you are self-employed, how to get your own house, how to find credit unions and all that stuff. even for my birthday post this year. I'm like posting how you can finance your car of your dreams and these things because people are like, oh my God, the car prices are going up. And I think by leading my life advocating learning how to advocate for myself, testing the limits of the city, the state, our nation, and showing my daughter how to survive it and thrive it, I just know like if I'm in a grocery store, if I'm dressed shop, if I'm everything, even if I did

mess up on the first you know, mayoral votership, I guess it's just a document. It's not official yet. Right. But announcing that I would like to run, announcing that I have interest in the mayor

position, people always say I'm going to vote for you. I'll be leaving in the airport, even probably when I get home from here. And some gentleman who's working out of the airport will stop me and be like, I am going to vote for you. even if you messed up.

Like, you know? And it's just like, I think I would love to be perfect at administration work, but I'm not. Okay. But I do know that fiercely I can advocate for people. So if it's starting at local district, which now they basically switched it because, I don't know, in a history, in a history of always having mayorship every two years, they just don't have it on the year that they allowed me to be approved for. it and announce it to press.

Okay. And that's when you keep saying, I messed up. That's what you're saying is that you announced. Well, I allowed someone to guide me who didn't have the best interest. Okay. And so it was, so this was at the top of this year. And it was city, yeah, the city of Austin. Okay.

And you have to, you know, fill in all your forms, get an approval. And I thought that they were guiding me properly. And now I just kind of advocate to say, like, even the city doesn't know what they're doing. and I think that we really need to keep looking and holding people accountable. They can't just all be volunteers. We can't just not know what's going on there. And there are very much a lot of like silent rooms and closed off.

Okay. And I do feel like a public figure, maybe like Spencer Pratt or like anyone else who's running. I think Kid Rock is now running for mayor in his area. I think the more you have public figures who fill a stance, maybe innate calling from God or something that is bigger than themselves, those are the proper people to help advocate. I'm not doing it because I'm best friends. I'm not doing it because my family has already done this. I'm not doing this because I'm a lawyer and I can have control trips,

like some of the people who hold the seat right now for District 5. So in July, I'm officially continuing with the local district seat, District 5. I think that's the proper way to start so I can understand all these administrative issues that I have been caught up in. And then I would love to continue for mayor of Austin. And I think I still can because I started early. Yes. Wow. So you're saying so you're officially running for District 5.

Local. Local in Austin. Yes. And then in 2028, you will be running for mayor. Yeah. And I don't think there's anything wrong with even running early. I don't know why everyone made it out such like a big deal that I announced two years really like, don't they do that for like running for presidency and everything else? I mean,

these are big things. Okay. It's like overtaken my life. So this is, it's interesting. I had to ask Spencer. Yeah. I had to say, so you're serious. Are you running? So you're saying that you are? Yes, I am. And I was literally at dinner with a friend who was taking me out to a new place. There was a woman who was running for a primary seat, which we've already completed our primary elections and those type of things locally. And she goes, Farah, the day, literally sitting next to me at sushi at this, like, only like five couples can be in the room. God has me sitting next to a woman who was running for office.

She's like, Farah, I texted the mayor of Austin the day that that press came out and everyone would like, could not believe that this was happening, that you were announcing this. And she's like, good for you. And if you want help and support, even though I'm like a. a different party and everything, she's like, I'm here, call me. Wow. And I think, like, that's what I love is it's not about what party you're in. It's not about your hate one way or the other.

It's like, I'm doing the common good and you can trust me. Okay. And, like, I'm not going to get off of that. You've a lot going on, Farah. And I always think I need to. Yeah. Yeah. You have a lot going on.

I'd rather serve people and give back that really makes my heart happy. Okay. Final question. Yes. Final question. Everyone gets this question. Okay. You've had some incredible conversations in your life.

Yeah. Which one stands out as the most memorable? Who was it with? And what did you learn? I think I learned a big lesson when I had my last in-person conversation with my grandfather, who wanted to choose to die. in a hospital and the nurse was calling me and saying, is he married? Is he not? You need to come here. And she knew me, obviously,

because of high school, she knew me from high school. She knew that this was my grandfather. I come in. I say, hey, the nurse is saying that you're not taking your medicine. You don't want your painkillers. You want to die. So I'm going to respect that. If you tell me to my face that that is what you want, I'm not going to keep calling up here saying, the opposite and working against you. I'm not going to do that. And if that is how you feel, like, I think this was just so big of me

because it was hard for my emotions and just not knowing what was going on. But I just had to say, because he just looked at him like, no, that's how I feel. Yeah, that is how, like he felt like he was protecting death. Like, I want to die. No one's letting me die.

And I'm like, well, why do you want to die, grandpa? because I'm just like, you know, Sophia's little, she's running around, he helps watch her sometimes, and he's just like, for what? Why, for what? And I think I had learned at that point, you can love someone. He advocated for me in my life. Like, I feel like I'm here because of him. And he does not want to continue on. And it's not everything is lesser than. It's just he hasn't found his reason to. to continue on, and I don't need to work against someone on their last days. And so I hugged him. I said, I hear you. And I just wanted to say, thank you for everything that you... I think it's going to bring me to tears, but thank you for everything that you've done for me. Thank you for shielding me from abuse when I needed it.

Thank you for picking me up. Thank you for taking me home with Sophia. Just thank you. I think that is all I can do when someone wants to check out. And I have to respectfully detach. Yeah. And that is the last time I hugged him, the last time I ever talked to him, like, really directly about anything. And then literally, Sophie and I did call him on his birthday because my mom wasn't respecting that he wanted to die.

And so my mom's over there on his birthday. And she's like, I'm singing happy birthday to grandpa and I want you to just sing it. with and all this stuff. And I just said, hey, grandpa, happy birthday from Sophia and I. Remember, I have already hugged you. I've already given you love. I respect your choice. And I love you. And I don't want you to think like I'm disrespecting you, but happy birthday. And I still love you. He said, love you. And he literally died the next day. And so I just know, like, that is so important to kind of have. have your peace with someone who has made the world the world to you. I think that has been a very hard lesson in my life is let other people make their choices.

I don't know why that's so huge right now. I'll have to figure that out later, but it's been pivotal for me. I'm so cried. I'm so full of joy right now. It's like, I don't even know. I get overwhelmed. No. This is one where you don't have to apologize.

I like you in this zone. Yeah. I do. And I feel light. Yes, because I think you've been incredibly reflective. And not only have you talked about these moments in your life, but you've brought us literally back to the moment with you. I feel like I've lived, you know, part of your life. Yeah, there are beautiful moments.

Yes. Yes. Farah Abram, I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I appreciate you. Yes. And thank you for all these beautiful memories and this wonderful, like a blue. blessing of an interview. So thank you. I'm happy you're doing your podcast, your show. This is like

one of the best, if not the best, probably. I shouldn't, you know, don't want to take anyone else's award away, but one of the best, if not the best, you know? Wings, not just, you know, don't hurt people's feelings. That's why you're going to win mayor because you're a great politician already. I see it. I see it. I see it. Thank you for the compliment. But truly, though, I truly, I truly, I really appreciate you letting us in and I'm going to give you all of these gifts. Yes, I'm going to steal that letter if you don't give it to me. I'm like, that's my daughter's letter. You have the letter.

Let me put this back in your way. Oh my God. What a gift. Yeah, she, she, she. I'm going to sleep with that next to my pillow tonight. I'm going to hug it. Really? Are you, you know, I like, uh, you framing it.

I like the idea. Yeah, I do. I like to just frame really good, meaningful things. Man, Farah Abram. She's like a controlled tornado. You could see how losing Derek, her first love, the father to her child, how that has stayed with her through today. And I think it's important for us not to look at grief or the healing of grief as a one-off moment. It doesn't just happen.

It's a process. Or should I say it's more of a continuum. it never ends. And she's proof of that. And I like how she acknowledges that. I was aware that she felt ostracized by her family. But I didn't realize that part of that was because she literally felt as if she looked different. And, you know, it honestly, it touches me personally because in my family, it's interesting,

I was much, I am, much darker complexion than my parents and my brother. And so that was something I dealt with to the point where people would say, like, where did this guy come from? You know? And so I really, I resonated with that. Oh, wow. She's had some dates. I like where Farah is now as far as I'm just looking for someone to do nothing with. you know, it shows that she's moved on from a place of appreciating these grandiose acts that truly mean nothing.

This fire starts coming now closer. I'm like, do I die? Do I stay? Now I'm watching my actual house burn to the ground on the security cameras. Growing up around just A-list movie stars, I wanted to be rich Jonah Hill. It was in my class with Kate Hutsons, the Jack Blacks. How in the world do you then get on the hills? Oh my God, really?

You're making me cry right now. Stephanie, you're making yourself crap. I thought I was the puppet master, but I was just full puppet. I remember once a car goes by and girls are screaming, yeah, flicking, I was like, oh wow. But at the time, I was like, dang, I'm so famous. Like, you know, like.

Can we talk about your relationship with Heidi? I wouldn't be married if it was not Heidi. I was going to be a player. I was the plan. But at the same time, I know somebody reached out, wanted to give Heidi and I our own show, and I sabotaged that. Why?

It was January 7th. I see the fire so far away up in the mountains. I'm like, oh, we are so good. They're going to come with the planes and the water, but I don't realize nobody's coming. This is what has inspired you to run for me. 100%. I am.

winning mayor of LA.