We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson - Georgia Kousoulou Reveals Reality Of Life On TOWIE “There Were Showmances All Around Me”
Episode Date: October 21, 2025TOWIE star breaks silence after a decade on The Only Way Is Essex, the pressure of fame, and how postnatal depression pushed her to the edge.Content warning: This episode includes discussion of baby l...oss.Georgia Kousoulou sits down with Paul for an unfiltered conversation about life on and off screen. She speaks honestly about the behind the scenes of TOWIE, her relationships with fellow cast mates and how she met husband Tommy Mallett. Georgia also opens up about their wedding - and why some of her former castmates didn’t make the guest list.In this deeply emotional conversation, Georgia reflects on baby loss, the silent grief that followed, and the strength it took to begin again. She also opens up about a recent health scare - discovering a lump that led to the shock of finding ruptured implants. Now, she’s advocating for greater awareness around cosmetic surgery and the importance of listening to your body. Georgia also shares:◽ Her parents split and how it impacted her life◽ The truth about TOWIE and why she walked away◽ How she and Tommy became “the couple they couldn’t break”◽ How discovering Tommy’s ADHD changed their relationship ◽ Her struggle with postnatal depression - and how Tommy helped her survive it◽ The silent grief of baby loss - and how she found hope ◽ Why speaking out saved her - and might help others do the same◽ Welcoming her rainbow baby and learning to love herself again◽ The lump that changed everything - and why she’s speaking out about surgery safetyGeorgia Kousoulou, We Need To Talk.This episode contains discussion of miscarriage and baby loss. We’ve included links to support charities below:Tommy’s: https://g2ul0.app.link/yiLgVePdnVbSands: https://g2ul0.app.link/1c7K7WVdnVbCampaign Against Living Miserably (CALM): https://g2ul0.app.link/npaQKXUV4Wb Follow me here:https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpodFollow Georgia here:Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/1zyQaAGJCXbTikTok: https://g2ul0.app.link/X8T1MzKJCXb (00:00) Intro(02:33) How Closely Does Georgia Identify With Her Greek Heritage?(04:30) What Was Essex Like When Georgia Was Growing Up?(05:35) Georgia's Experience of School(07:28) What Did 16-Year-Old Georgia Want to Do With Her Life?(08:42) What Georgia Did for Work After Leaving School(12:47) How Georgia's Shop Got Her Onto TOWIE(14:09) How Successful Was TOWIE When Georgia Joined the Cast?(16:16) Georgia's First Appearance on TOWIE(20:35) How Georgia's Career Ambitions Changed on TOWIE(21:46) Why Georgia Thinks She Was a Hit on TOWIE(24:07) What Happened to Georgia's Relationship While on TOWIE?(25:32) How Her Parents' Split Affected Georgia as an Adult(27:34) How Georgia Met Tommy(31:02) How Georgia Knew Her Relationship With Tommy Was Real(32:34) The Atmosphere Amongst the TOWIE Cast(39:25) Did Georgia Feel Media Pressure on Her and Tommy's Relationship?(42:59) Has Georgia Kept in Touch With Her TOWIE Castmates?(47:02) Georgia's Feelings About Marrying Tommy While on TOWIE(50:21) Adobe Express Ad(51:20) Love Better Tour Ad(52:20) Georgia's Experience of Becoming a Mum and Postnatal Depression(01:04:27) How the Dynamic Between Georgia and Tommy Changed After Brody(01:10:13) Tommy's ADHD Diagnosis and Adult Diagnosis Statistics(01:14:48) Georgia's Experience of Miscarriage(01:24:38) How Georgia and Tommy Healed From Their Trauma(01:28:06) Georgia's 'Obsession' With Conceiving Another Baby(01:30:36) The Birth of Georgia's 'Rainbow Baby' Gigi(01:31:47) Georgia's Thoughts on 'Bouncing Back' From Childbirth(01:35:52) Georgia's History of Plastic Surgery and Thoughts on the Industry(01:39:54) What's Next for Georgia?(01:42:59) Most Memorable Conversation(01:46:51) Paul's TakeawaysSponsored by:Adobe Express: https://ADOBE.LY/PAUL Get Your Tickets to the Love Better Tour: https://bit.ly/lovebetter-YT Sync-ID MB01P3JT0TPVKYPMB01GVJTUESWJR8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I found a lump in my boob.
This doctor scanned me straight away.
He was like, okay, the lump is nothing to worry about.
But that implant's ruptured.
Implants can leak.
You need to get them out.
I was filming Taui.
They're like, there's this new guy coming on Tommy Mallet, and I was like,
he stalks me.
I never forget.
I was like, I'm not filming that guy.
He's so annoying.
Three days in, we're together.
But I had the expectation that it wasn't going to last.
Taui had this weird hierarchy, like,
if you're in a couple, you're safe.
It was very cut-broke back then.
The cast were like hungry, you know.
They would want to break you up.
So I was like, right, okay, fine.
I'll play this game.
What was the hardest moment for you?
Everybody said to me, when you have this baby,
it's this instant mother's connection.
So when it didn't happen to me, I was ashamed.
I thought, how am I not happy?
How can I not be happy about a newborn baby?
That's terrible.
It was a dark place, to be honest.
It only got better when Tommy said,
she's not right, by the way, in front of my mom.
in front of my mom, his mom and the midwife.
If you could go back, what would you have told yourself?
I try to believe things do happen for a reason
because at the time you're like,
what reason is this?
This is terrible.
Even in my darkest, deepest moments,
I can now say, it's made me, me now.
Yes.
And I'm finally getting a bit of peace.
Georgia, there's one last thing we need to talk about.
All right, everyone, before we begin,
I have to tell you a secret, truly,
One of the biggest honors of my life is making this podcast.
I absolutely love it.
I love the conversations.
And I love speaking to all of you when I see you either in the DMs or on the street.
But I do have a small favor to ask.
And that is, please subscribe to the channel and hit the bell icon.
What it allows us to do is bring more and more incredible conversations just like this to you.
All right.
Without further ado, let's get into it.
Georgia Kasulu.
We need to talk.
Excited.
I'm excited.
Why are you excited?
Because I've watched it.
I've seen this podcast.
I'm a fan.
And I'm just really happy to be here.
And you're really nice.
I'm happy.
Well, thank you.
I am very excited that you're here.
All right.
Can we start with your last name?
You see, I must have had this conversation with everyone I've ever met.
Really?
How do you say your last name?
I'm like, Kusulu.
Just Kusulu.
It's actually easy.
Like, if you were to see it on paper, you'd probably freak out.
little bit, but it's actually quite easy once you know it.
Okay.
But it's Greek.
It's Greek.
Yeah.
So how closely do you identify your Greek heritage?
Not that much no more.
And it's such a shame.
So when I was baby, I went to Cyprus every single year as a child.
And I felt really Greek then.
Because you know, like, you kind of pretend you know what they're saying and you're
eating the Greek food and you're there.
And as you get older, it just, it seems quite far away now.
Does it?
Yeah.
You know, what always strikes me about Greek culture is family.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
And not only like the size of family, but the intimacy and the closeness.
Yeah.
Of family.
Did you feel like that was your family growing up?
When we used to land in Cyprus, there would be food on the table.
If you turned up and said you're not hungry, that's quite rude, you know.
Like, that is offensive.
You're eating.
You are eating.
So just eat.
I'd always come back bigger because I'd eat so much.
The spread would just be unbelievable.
And I feel like when you look at the food, it's like potatoes, meat, salads, olive oil, all of that stuff.
You know, the good food.
Sometimes like this down age people tell you to avoid, but actually it's the best food.
And they live longer normally.
And their skin, like.
Yes.
And we turn up, there'd be food on the table and then all the neighbours would come in.
And I'd be like, who's that?
Your cousin's cousin.
Oh, okay.
Your cousin's cousin.
I was probably related to half of Larnaca.
Cyprus. I can't even tell you how many cousins I have, but that is what I love about it.
It's the family like that. Everyone's a cousin, even if they're not, you know, they just say
they are. No, we had good memories. I'm so blessed to have been brought up every summer there.
And then here, because so you would have the family come to visit you here. Yeah. Now, where was here?
Was it Essex that you grew up? Essex, my whole life.
The whole life?
Whole life. Yeah. All right. I'm so Essex.
So when you think about Essex growing up. Yeah.
What was Essex like?
Kind of similar when I mean like the family point of view, you know.
My house was the hub.
It was always a busy house as in like I never felt once lonely, not once.
Did you have a big social circle, lots of friends?
So many friends.
Saturday night, Chinese night is a religion in our household.
And I now have that in my household.
It goes far back to a baby.
I was probably eating it in a newborn.
So Saturday night, Chinese night was what?
It was a hub.
All, everyone would come over.
So my mum's friends, and luckily my mum's friends had kids all at the similar ages to my brother and sister and me.
So we all, there was loads of us.
My aunties would come over, my cousins.
Our house was the hub.
You could turn up any time.
Okay.
Yeah.
You would just eat Chinese food?
Eat Chinese food.
Saturday was wild.
We'd always do like sleepovers.
We'd always pretend to do a show like we was dancers.
It was just great.
It was actually chaotic, but I loved it.
We loved it.
So in school then, because you had such a strong social circle, in school, did you feel like you were part of the social set?
Were you popular?
Yeah, I would say I was popular.
Funny enough, I loved school for social.
It was such a good school.
It's such a good school for social life.
Everyone knew each other.
We all got on.
I had the best friends.
I'm still friends with my friends now.
Really lucky.
And even the teachers liked me to be there.
I was quite lucky.
They probably would have said I could.
tried harder 100%. I won't really bothered about learning to honest. I was better at talking,
you know. I had a bit of low confidence. I was always really happy and got on with everyone.
There was not one person I never got on with in the class, you know. I'd always make friends with
even the girls that really didn't talk to anyone or the older boys. I was always that chatter
that would mingle. But when it comes to school work, no confidence. No confidence. How do you believe
not having that self-belief in your academics shaped you into adulthood, even to who you are today?
I think I had to, I mean, I went from a massive stage of thinking, what am I going to do next?
What is my purpose? Everyone knows what they want to do.
As in, a lot of friends knew they wanted to be hairdresser as beauticianed.
And I hadn't found my thing I was good at.
And I used to sit there and struggle because everyone around me was either good academics or
had a trade or I feel like everyone around me knew what they wanted to do.
And it's only later in life that I realized that talking and being myself was enough.
And that was my skill.
But back then, it wasn't spoke about, you know.
Right.
And I would imagine too is that there weren't as many opportunities.
Of course.
Because there weren't, you know, lots of, say, television presenters.
No.
or influencers and creators weren't a thing at all.
No.
So then if you were to go back to 16, 17, 18 years old,
what did you want to do with your life?
Weirdly, a presenter.
I wanted to do TV.
You did?
Yeah.
I was obsessed with Holly Willoughby actually.
Yep.
And Davina McCall, the big brother,
I saw these women and I said,
wow, I want to do it.
And I think, my dad said it to me.
He laughed.
When I first got on Tower, he said,
Well, you said you wanted to be a presenter.
And back then, people would laugh and be like, you can't really say it out loud.
So I never really would say it out loud, only to close people because it seems so far away.
Talking.
And what was it about being a presenter that truly lit you up?
I think it was them being themselves.
They were talking and they were happy and confident in themselves.
And I thought, oh, I could do that.
Okay.
You know, like, I think that would be good.
All right.
But now, even though that's what you aspire to be, what I don't.
understand is that that's not how you started. No. No. I mean, how would I imagine being 14. I was like,
I'm going to be that presenter there. Yes. Yes. So when you look at your career, when did it
officially begin and what were you doing? So I left school and my dad was always very open and
honest of me and he was a work, he loved to work. He was like, this is work. He had clothes shops.
So growing up when I was a baby, I used to be in the clothes shops.
And I was like, okay, I'm going to do that then because my dad does it.
And I think it would be quite fun.
And I like to clothes, you know.
So I started selling clothes.
We went down to commercial road and would just pick up some clothes and we started selling them doing house,
clothes parties.
We'd go to people's houses, get up a row and we'd do like an evening.
And I ended up selling some clothes.
I thought, I like this bit of a buzz.
Easy.
I'm choosing what I like, people are buying it, great.
And then my dad, I'll never forget it, he said,
okay, I think we should open a shop.
And I was like, yes.
And he said, this is your university.
So my sister, I've got a sister who's very intelligent.
She's definitely more booksmark than me, 100%.
She's her heads in the book.
She's so intelligent.
And he always said to me, he's like,
she will be going to uni.
You won't be.
There's no point you're going to uni.
This is your uni.
He's like, I'm going to get you this shop.
upset you up and this is your uni. This is the best learning skills you're ever going to
have and it was. And how old were you at that time? I was 1718. 1718. So he was willing to
invest in a shop for it. You'd never run a clothing shop. No. So the only evidence that he had
was you were selling at these parties. Yeah. And he was willing to. Big risk. Get you a shop.
Yeah. Yeah. He believed in me. And I, yeah. And I, yeah. And I, yeah. And I, yeah. And, yeah.
And everyone helps me.
Like my mom and dad were in there.
And it kind of...
So we actually did get the shop.
Yeah, we got the shop.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you are how old when you get the shop?
So I'm thinking back now.
So I was 22 when I started to Rui.
So 21.
20.
I would say 19.
So 19.
Dad gets you a shop?
Yeah.
All right.
That's a big commitment.
A big commitment.
It had a lease on it as well.
Okay.
How long was it the lease?
Ten years.
I know it's ridiculous actually
yeah no break clothes
10 year lease
yeah no break clause
it's wild
that's wild
yeah and he was like here you go Georgia
yeah blessed
all right
very lucky and did you know what you were going to do with the shop
yeah straight away okay what was it
we walked into that shop so
where the shop was
was in the middle of Epping High Street
and Epping High Street was
We used to go there was time, you know.
It's just one of the high streets in Essex.
And this shop was the middle of the high street.
So my dad was straight away, great location.
So we saw this shop and he was like, we need this shop.
Had parking at the back.
My dad's really good at buildings.
He also does property.
So he's like, that's great.
And it had two rooms upstairs.
And he was like, you can rent their rooms out, pay half the rent.
I was like, yes, we can.
And where the shop was, there was an alleyway.
And the alleyway was where,
There was a club called 1-9-5, and we all used to go every weekend, all the girls.
And I was like, I know what I'm going to do.
I've got to team up with the club.
Advertising the club.
Girls come and get their dresses.
We'd go to the club.
Well, that's exactly what happened.
It was great.
Okay.
All right.
So you had that plan only after you saw the location.
Yeah.
That was wild to me.
Yeah.
So you had no plan.
No.
I was just like, oh, let's do it pink.
The only thing I knew was to paint it pink.
Epin weren't happy about it, by the way, because it's a little bit, you know, like the old cobbly streets in that,
and then they've got a bright pink shop.
Yeah, a few complaints.
But still, you stood out?
Yeah, stood out.
Did you feel like it did truly become your university?
Yeah, it was.
It was my university.
He was so right.
And wasn't it the shop that indirectly got you on to Towie?
It was the shop that got me on Towie, yeah.
Okay, so how so?
So I had the two rooms upstairs I had to rent out.
So the idea was girls could come in, they can get their nails done, they can get a dress, kind of the one-stop shop, I would call it.
And there was a guy that come in.
This man, he kept coming in, just chatting to me.
And he kept asking about our rooms.
And he was really, really lovely.
He was like, have you rented them rooms that?
I was like, yeah, I've got extensions in on this day.
And he was so, he was like, no, my daughter, my daughter would be great for that room.
I kept saying to this guy, I'm really, really sorry.
I was like, the rooms are gone.
no my daughter will be great she does a bit of teeth finding
do you remember when the teeth finding would do like the strips
that was like the phase back then so I said to him okay your daughter can rent it
two days well little did I know this girl called Grace walks in the doors
and she me and her got on so well like that first month into it she says to me
I'm going to struggle with the next month's rent I said alright she said because I think
I'm going on towie I said what what's that got to you know and I was thinking what
What does that mean?
I'm running a business here.
And she was like, I need you to come on with me.
Wait, what?
I thought she was trying to get out of the rent.
Now, I didn't know that she'd have conversations to producers,
and they said, we need you to bring a friend on.
And when me and her hid it off, and we was in the shop together,
she put me forward.
Interesting.
She actually did put me forward.
Now, at that time, so Towie, the only way is Essex.
At that time, how big was the show?
And was it for you, was it something that you watched and you wanted to be a part of?
So funny enough, we, it was out just before.
And with Essex, it was a bit like, no one kind of knew about it.
Some people would slag it off and be like, what is this?
And you know, the unknown, there wasn't really reality shows out.
Right.
So everyone was a bit like, what is this?
So by time it come to me, it was definitely out.
It'd been out a good few years.
And I'd started seeing the success of people.
And I thought, oh, this is good, you know.
All right.
So you saw the success of people.
Yeah.
So what was that success and of who?
So the characters on there was like Amy Childs, Sam Fares, Billy Fares, Joey Essex,
Diags.
Now, they went to my school.
So I was like, well, I know them.
It would be quite easy for me, you know.
Once you were invited on, you were invited on not as a main character, right?
It was of a, basically you're Grace's friend.
Grace's friend.
So Grace was brought on.
Yeah.
You were brought on as her friend.
Yeah, so we went on together.
Grace was talking to this guy on the show.
And they really wanted two girls to come on.
I don't know, maybe it was more of an entrance or, you know, more powerful together.
And they said, it'd be great.
You two coming on together.
And we did.
We walked straight in Mario's party together.
I was shaking.
I was so scared.
Where are you?
Yeah, because I was like, what am I doing?
She's seeing this guy.
And I'm just, I was working.
working in my shop an hour ago.
You know, like I was, it was so quick.
I don't even think I signed a contract, but I just kind of walked into this set and was like,
oh, okay, then this is what we're doing.
And I just went with it.
You just went with it.
Yeah, it was crazy.
You know, I find the not signing a contract, it seems like that's what was done at that time.
Yeah, it was just like, yeah, just come on, just do it.
So were you paid?
Were you paid then?
Yeah, I think we was paid.
I can't really remember, but I don't think it was very much, you know.
I always kind of knew that I was going on.
Me and Grace was together, but Grace, you know, had the storyline.
She was seeing this guy.
I was there for like moral support, really.
So you were like her supporting character.
Her supporting character that she needed to get on the show, you know?
So we needed, she needed me to come on with.
But I was kind of just there because I was like, well, what am I doing?
I had a boyfriend at the time.
So I weren't there for the guys.
And I walked straight in and all the girls on Tower, we just looked at us like, like, why are they here?
Because it was very like that back then.
It was like, have you two come from.
for our boyfriends. It was very like that. And I'm the girliest girl ever. And I was like,
hi. And they're like, they're not hiring me. They're just looking. And who were the girls
on the show at that time? They had like the jammers, the ferns, all of the original girls,
you know, Amy had left at this point. And I'm like, huh. And they were like straight face. I thought,
oh, scary. Oh my gosh. And even for, so that was your first scene on the tower.
First scene. How did you prepare for it? I remember we got ready in a pub.
down the road, they, that was the days where the producer told you nothing.
Nothing.
It was very like, it was so real to the point where terrifying real.
They were like, what are you going to do is you're going to just walk straight into that party?
I'm like, sorry, they're like, just walk.
I'm like, well, where are we going?
They're like, you know.
I'm like, ah.
And what are we doing?
We were just linking arms and we're walking.
And I remember I had the hills on like this high because that was fashion back then.
And I was walking.
I was thinking, oh, my God, please don't fall.
And my hair was big.
And it was just all a lot.
And I had this dress on.
And I thought, what are we doing?
And then we just walked in and that was it.
My whole life changed from that minute.
Did it?
It was scary.
Wow.
So it changed, but how quickly did your life change?
I just got thrown in from that minute.
Like, from that minute, I remember thinking, wow, I've walked in.
I felt like I'd stepped into a different world.
Like, I was so confident in my shop and I had my little surroundings and I had a good friends and family and I had a boyfriend.
If it was very content, and then they've dropped me into this world where I don't really know,
I knew a few people from my school back in the day, but all of these girls, I thought, oh,
I feel like it's like, not like a war, but it was very like, why you're here.
I couldn't believe it.
I didn't experience that before.
These girls were like, this is our show.
What are you doing?
I was like, me and Grace was like, okay, Grace, what we're doing now?
And I kind of didn't really think it'd last long.
Not for me as well, because I kind of thought, well, I'm just here with grace, you know.
Sure.
And I thought, well, what am I bringing?
What did you think you were bringing?
Moral support.
That was it.
I thought, yeah.
So you never saw yourself as a main character?
No, not at all.
All right.
No.
So then you're then asked to come back and back?
And back and back?
And back.
Yeah.
And you're still running the shop at the same time?
Yeah.
All right.
Then it got tricky.
Because I didn't realize that filming was six days a week.
and you never knew your day off.
So how it worked was I'd get a text a day before
and it'd say you will be needed for filming tomorrow at 12 o'clock,
picture cut, dress, glam.
It was always dress glam.
And I'd be like, oh, okay then, I've got a shop to run.
And in the midst of this,
I decided to add sunbeds and a hair station
and a makeup station to the shop.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
To make it the really one, one-stop shop.
it was unbelievable
but that meant I had all this staff
I had so many girls in there
it was unbelievable but I couldn't do both
it got to a point where I was like
my dad sat me down and he's like
you need to sell this shop
if this is what you want to do
because I loved it
I really enjoyed Tower
although it was terrifying
I found my feet of it quite quick
and he said you need to sell this shop
quickly before it goes under
because we've got a lease on this
and I did
you sold it
which is such a shame in a way
because actually looking back
if I knew I was going to stay on Tower
where I kept you, you know, because it helped me.
I kind of didn't know what I was doing.
I was like, oh, I'd just go over this path now.
The path, it just, it was like my path was here.
And then all of a sudden it went this way really quickly.
I thought, okay, well, I can't do both.
So let's get rid of that shot.
All right.
So you could double down, focus on TOWI.
Just focus on TOWY.
So I'm sure you're starting to get recognized.
Yeah.
You're probably getting offered brand deals at this time.
Yeah.
Right.
So is, what's your goal?
What are you thinking long term?
Or were you even thinking long term?
No.
I was more like, well, this is great.
I'm getting paid to talk to my friends.
Wow.
I'm good at talking.
That's all I thought.
I thought, I can do this.
This is good.
And I've really enjoyed it quite quick.
And I thought, I'm just going to go with it.
I'm just going to go with it.
And it kind of felt easier because there was less responsibility.
You know, like having a shop, although it was unbelievable, it was a big responsibility that.
Especially when I started having staff, it was hard work then.
Yes.
Because staff is hard.
They don't come in and things like that.
And it's hard.
And there was, you know, girls, girls, they've got dilemmas and stuff.
So I thought, oh, this is fun.
I've been fun here with these friends.
And, yeah, so I kind of just threw myself into it.
Okay.
So what do you think made you good at Tawi?
Just being out to talk.
That is it, I think.
I don't know.
I actually don't know.
But what, wait, all right, let me push you on this, right?
You think about you went from supporting character
Yeah
To main character
Yeah
To popular main character
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, on that, on that
Yeah, all right then, yeah
So what do you believe it was about you
That allowed you to do those things?
I'm quite a nice person's honest
I'm actually quite nice
And I like people
Which helps
And I naturally took on the role
of kind of like the agony on naturally.
People, I have a way that people open up to me quite a lot
and they tell me things they probably shouldn't
because I could have just met them.
They just tell me things.
I don't know why.
I feel like you have that about you actually.
And people seem to tell me things
and I would end up getting things out of them, not by purpose.
So the scenes we would be doing would be so good
because people would just open up.
And I'd like, oh, hang on a minute.
You just said you didn't want to talk.
And actually, you just told me everything.
And it just become this natural role.
And I like helping people.
So straight away, someone's sad.
I'm helping.
Someone's got a dilemma.
I'm helping.
Their boyfriend problems.
I'm helping.
They're happy I'm helping.
So I could then, I was put in a lot of scenes.
And I could film with everyone.
That was my, that was my superpower.
I could film with everyone.
Look at that.
And then I know also around that time,
That's when Pete Wicks.
Yeah, he come on.
Came on the show.
Who else?
Chloe Sims.
Chloe.
So Chloe was on there already.
And Lydia.
Lydia was on there.
And she'd left and then she come back on.
It was a good time to be part of that show.
There was really good characters on there.
Yes.
It was good.
We had Georgia Harrison on Georgia.
So I got Georgia on the show.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
So she come on as my friend.
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah.
So you knew Georgia just from around?
I knew Georgia we used to play out together when we was younger.
She's younger than me, but she used to live down my auntie's road.
So Essex, that's what Essex is like.
So they said, we used to put people forward all the time.
And I said, I've got this girl, Georgia.
I think she'd be great for the show.
And she come on as my friend.
Wow, look at that.
Yeah.
Look at that.
It's incredible.
I didn't know that story.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you are basically like this agony aunt.
Yeah.
Right.
You're helping everyone on the show.
Yeah.
But you said that when you joined the show, you had a boyfriend
who was not on the show.
No.
Right.
So what happened with that relationship?
Yeah, we split up.
And do you know what?
My life changed so dramatically when I went on Towai.
Not just Taoie.
There was so much going on at home as well.
My parents spit up.
So I had parents spitting up.
My shop was sold.
And he was, I feel like, was part of the old life, weirdly.
You know, when you're like, it was the weirdest thing.
It's like I had two lives and that whole life was like going.
And I remember thinking what was going on.
And naturally we just grew apart because everything around me was changing.
And to be honest, it probably weren't him.
It was probably me.
I was going through so much change.
I kind of really wanted to wipe my hands with that kind of life, you know, in a way.
Because I didn't really know how to control it.
It was a lot of change for me.
And my parents were not really.
really, really affected me back then.
So Tawi was at this new life and there was new people and then I didn't have to talk about
my old life and I kind of just wanted to be done with it.
So I kind of just shut everyone around me off and he was part of it.
Yeah, this makes sense.
Yeah.
So how old were you at this period in your life?
21.
You were 21.
Yeah.
So young.
Which is young, but you've now become an adult.
Yeah.
And your parents split up.
Yeah.
And I think there's a lot of discussion around the impact.
of parents splitting up on children.
There is, yeah.
But what do you believe the impact was of your parents splitting up on you as an adult?
Yeah, I think he's harder in a way.
I think no one really talks about the adult side of it
because obviously you naturally focus on a child,
but children are resilient.
Like they kind of just don't really know much difference.
But I knew the difference because I'd lived with them my whole life, you know.
And I struggled because I understood what was happening.
and I become the agony on of them.
So it was tough.
It was really tough.
So when I had the chance to kind of jump shit
and leave that life behind, I did.
Did it reshape your perspective on love and marriage?
Yeah.
I kind of was like, what's the point in getting married at that point?
I was a bit like, I was a bit, I was a bit like, oh, what's the point?
I was a bit hard a bit.
You know, I got a bit hard.
I think that's because I was emotional.
And I think as an oldest child,
your oldest child is a lot of, it's a lot when you're the older child.
Because I had two, I had a brother and sister that I had to protect.
And I didn't want them to know about it.
About divorce at all?
No.
You were trying to hide the divorce.
I was trying to hide it.
And listen, there was times where, obviously, they knew what was going on.
But they lived in the same house, my parents.
So they were living in the same house in different bedrooms.
So I didn't want my sister and brother to, like to know what was going on, you know?
from that day or I never forget
I become very, very good at swerving
I become an expert
in not talking about my life
and talking about other people's life
it was like, I don't know how I did it,
it was a skill
and the whole cast around me
used to get the ump
because I was always in every single scene
talking about everyone else's life
except my own
and I've become so good at it.
Look at that.
a master of deflection.
Yeah, it was unbelievable.
I don't know how.
I just, yeah.
Yeah.
So now, Tom, how do you meet Tommy?
Tommy, you meet him on Towley.
So Tommy, I don't know how, this guy.
So he actually tweeted about me.
So I was on Towey.
He tweeted about me saying something about, was it like,
about my dad's house.
My dad had a really lovely house.
And he kind of said, like,
like, oh, this girl and her dad's house.
And I thought, I remember seeing the tweet thinking, who's this guy?
I don't know what made this tweet pop up to me.
And then I see him in a club.
So I confronted him.
He said, who are you?
Said, I know you.
Said, you tweeted about me.
And he was so loud.
And he was like so confident.
And I thought, who are you?
Because I, in Essex, you know people, right?
And I thought, you're not from here.
And he's like, no, I am.
I'm like, you're not because I don't know you.
And we had a bit of.
like this row
because I was like,
you don't even know me
to tweet about my dad's house
and stuff.
I took it really personal
about my dad's house
I was really protective
and we had a bit of this round
and then all of a sudden
we was rowing
and then within five minutes
we were laughing
and I thought
this is the weirdest thing
and then from that day on
I saw him every single day
in the gym
weirdly and he was so loud
and I'd be like
he's so annoying
and who is this guy
like he's popping up everywhere
I'd go into the gym
and he'd be there
he'd be there
and I'm like
oh you're so annoying
went, anyway, I was filming Tawi in our beafer.
And then all of a sudden, I never forget, we're on this coach.
They're like, there's this new guy coming on because we always like to.
So the producer pretend they, that we don't know, like, they keep it away from us.
But we always know, someone leaks it, and then everyone's talking about it.
And there was like, Tommy Mallet, and I was like, what?
I thought that guy.
I was like, he stalks me.
I see him in the gym, see him at the sunbed shop.
You know, like all these things.
I was like, and he come in.
Come on.
My show.
To my show.
And I was like, I never forget.
I rang the producer.
I was like, I'm not filming that guy.
He's so annoying.
Dzz-da-da.
Well, three days in, we're together.
Ridiculous.
Really?
So he comes on the show.
Yeah.
And then three days later, you're in a relationship with him.
Basically.
And I remember seeing him as like, I don't, you're annoying.
Like, no.
No.
You're so loud.
So within three days, he goes from someone you don't even want to film with.
No.
To your inner relationship with him.
Yeah.
And I try to.
not to be.
So how does that happen?
I don't know.
I don't know how it happened.
Because he, I'm not used to guys like him.
Really loud.
Really.
He's not from Essex.
So he's different.
He's from Islington.
And I think maybe I found it intriguing because I was like so different, so confident.
The confidence was wild.
And he literally just come on and everyone was like, who is this guy?
A lot of people didn't like him.
A lot of people loved him.
And I was like, I don't know what I think about this guy to honest.
He was a bit cocky.
Okay.
So he annoyed me, but then I was a bit like, you know, when you're young, you're a bit like,
he was like the bad guy that I probably shouldn't go to.
Naturally I want to, but really I shouldn't.
So obviously I did, of course I did.
What was he?
Because, you know, they're bad boys and they're bad boys.
Yeah, he weren't a bad boy deep down.
He was, he was, more of like a party boy.
Yes.
He was a party boy.
All the girls like, stay away from him.
I was like, yeah, I will.
Of course he didn't.
I was like, oh, I'm going to go to him.
You're telling me no.
I'm going to run to it.
Yeah.
Seems quite fun, actually.
Now, how do you know if the relationship is real?
Because I think that this becomes a big challenge with reality TV.
Yeah.
Because you don't know if your partner, like, I remember we had Lauren Goodyear on.
She was our first guest.
And she talked in quite detail about her relationship with Mark Wright.
Yeah.
And how at certain points, you know, she doesn't know if it's a real relationship
or if producers are just trying to keep the relationship together.
Yeah.
So how do you know that it was real?
You know, your feelings for him and both,
but more importantly, his feelings for you.
Yeah, well, I didn't.
I kind of, I think I had the expectation that it wasn't going to last.
I think we was in our B-Far, everyone was getting on,
and I thought this could just be a holiday romance.
So I didn't need to worry about it,
because I just thought, I don't even want a boyfriend anyway.
I was thinking, I don't want that.
I don't want married.
I didn't want that.
So for me, I was just having fun.
I thought, well, someone to film with, you know, he seems quite fine.
I've never experienced a guy like this.
He was really loud, very confident, very cocky.
I kind of went with it, which was actually great.
I didn't think he's going to be my husband.
Okay.
You just thought it's a summer romance.
Some romance.
All right.
Good for TV.
Good for TV.
It gives me more filming, more people to film with, you know.
Because back then it was about how many scenes you were filming, you know, to stay on the show.
So it was another thing
And I thought well
If we just filmed his holiday romance it is what it is
No it weren't
I think I met his mum the next day
And had pie mash
Wow look at that
But now you just said something that also
I'd love to explore a little bit
As you said
It was about how many scenes
Yeah
You were filming
Is how much you'd be on the show
Yeah
I would imagine the desire
Among the entire cast
Is you want to be on the show
As much as possible
Of course
And then there were a lot of big personalities
A lot
Right
I mean that was
Some people could argue
That was a heyday
of Towie, right?
So that means that
are you saying that you think that
everyone on that cast was consciously
thinking, I need to be in as many
scenes as possible. Oh, everyone.
Everyone was thinking. Everyone. Everyone knew
you didn't film, you weren't on the show.
You know, imagine all them cast members.
Like, you had to have a storyline.
If you're not having a storyline, you're getting dropped from the show
and it was very cut for it back then.
Every series, you never knew if he was coming back.
Wow.
So it was like, okay, we need to film.
And there was showmancies, as they called,
them everywhere around me.
I remember people, because I was single,
and I remember the producer saying like,
is anyone you fancy?
And I'd be like, no.
On the show.
On the show.
Yeah.
And before Tommy come on,
I don't think I could have faked that.
I couldn't have faked a fake showmats.
And I know there was people definitely doing it,
but I couldn't do that.
Because, to honest, I weren't really bothered
about a relationship,
so which was better.
And I'm not a good actress, actually.
I can't act, and I can't lie.
I'm really bad at them two things.
So for me, I couldn't have done that
And so actually
Tommy, I didn't really think too much of it
I thought, well, we'll just go with it
For someone to film with, you know
And he was also good friends of Arge
And Lydia and Arge were together at this time
And I was good friends of Lydia
So it just kind of works
I just went with it
You know
I see it
So now how intense was it
Like how many days were you filming
Even how many days a year was
Was filming
So what we'd
So I beef was
I think we was there 12 days
I think
and you never knew how many days you were going to film or when
and it was great though because it was a big holiday with your friends
the best time of my life but trips were intense because you're together
so there's no getting away so in Essex you could film a bad scene or you know
something you know around you could go home to a normal life and switch off
but no you couldn't on the way trips but that's where the most drama happened
the best viewing was then because it was the best scenes you're in a hotel
things are going on and people telling things
and even if you don't want to film certain things
the producers are knowing about it because you're there.
Yes.
They're there.
The next room is a producer, you know?
Yeah.
When you think about your entire time on Tawi,
what was the hardest moment for you?
The hardest moment would be me and Tommy Rowan
and actually being upset and then trying to hide it
because you're not supposed to hide it.
But I was the master of hiding it and I did it with us.
And that's how we survived it 100%.
Really?
I never forget sitting in scenes wanting to kick him under the table,
not liking him but pretending that we were fine.
Because I knew that I was good at that.
I thought what I'm going to do here is I'm going to sit here
and I'm going to talk about someone else's relationship
and I'm going to pretend that we're fine because I know,
that the cast will try and break us.
I knew it.
And that's exactly what they did
because we then become,
when you're together in a couple,
you're more powerful
and you're in a way dangerous
to other cast members because of two of you.
And how so? How are you more dangerous?
So you're filming more.
And it's like this, it was this weird, like,
hierarchy, like,
if you're in a couple, you're safer,
you know?
And there's this like, you're going to get more scenes.
And it was very cut-broke back then.
Like the cast were like hungry, you know, for the scenes.
So they would want to break you up.
Cast members would want to break you up.
And so, so literally they would try to.
They would try to.
And how so?
They would, they would try to pick us.
They'd be like, what's going on?
Oh, have you not had a row or I've had times where they would say to producers,
we heard Georgian Tommy Row him.
And I'd be in a scene, not knowing.
and they'd go,
how are you and Tommy and I'd be like,
fire my.
They'd be like, oh no, you wasn't
because you were around and I'd be like what?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We even had a cheating allegation.
Did you?
It got brought up in a scene
that I dealt with it off camera
because we weren't filming it at the time
six months before
and one of the cast members
told the show about it
and then they brought it to camera
and I didn't know.
They would try it because they were like
we want to split them up.
So I was like, right,
Okay, fine, I'll play this game.
And I was like, listen, we would deal with us after.
We're not breaking and we never did.
Oh, look at that.
We'd have a few like rouse on the show if we couldn't help.
You know, there's that certain things you can't.
But him working or things that.
But the deep stuff, no, we're a team and we're the team and we're staying in the team.
And it's us against the rest and it was.
And no one ever broke us down.
Wow.
Not once.
And did you think that or feel like they knew that,
that you two had this disagreement.
They were fuming.
They used to go to the producers and say,
why is George and Tommy always talking about other people's problems
and not their own?
But I was so good at discussing other people's stuff
that I got away with it.
And the producers couldn't really have a gauntly
because I was giving them what they needed
and I was making the scenes happen
because I was the one getting the information out
or helping.
And I used to get a lot of ag on socials and people say, you're so busy.
And I'd be like, no one, I know I am.
But I'd rather be busy.
Slag me off if you want, but I'm protecting my relationship.
And I generally believe that's how we survive, how we're the only ever couple to survive it.
Really?
The only other couple.
There's not been one other couple.
So I've done a good job.
It worked.
I beat the towie.
I beat it.
Oh my gosh.
And I would imagine one of the reasons why no couple.
have survived it is because
the others were trying
to break them up. They weren't a team.
Yeah, and I would also imagine
that it's not just the cast.
No. But it's also production.
Of course.
It's also the public.
Of course. But they learnt
very quick with us that they weren't getting it.
They tried. Everyone tried.
There was talks of girls coming on the show
that a DM, Tommy and all that.
You know, like the PA days. I mean, they were hard days
for us. And
they tried everything. But we
stayed together as a team and no one beat us.
What I've seen with the press
is that the press has been relentless
on many television personalities.
Yeah.
In particular women.
Yeah.
And in particular women in their relationships.
Yeah.
So during your time on Tawi,
did you feel that pressure as well?
I felt protective of it.
Only like when it comes to that PAs and stuff,
there was pressure because I think,
oh, if he messes up here, because, you know, back then we've like, I didn't know him as well
as obviously I do now.
And I used to think, oh, if he cheats on me and things happen, it's going to be in the press,
you know.
And that would worry me a little bit.
Yeah.
Because those were popular.
Because even when I got here in 2018, I feel like those were of those public appearances,
right?
Yeah.
They were popular.
They were.
And it seems like that's where a lot of reality TV personalities were making their money.
The boys more.
The boys were got books more than the girls.
I never really did the PAs.
I would do more like shop openings, salons.
He would get booked a lot.
Now, imagine I'm in a new relationship with this guy.
He's new to telly.
I'm new to telly.
And he's got girls.
They used to literally like throw themselves at him.
Yes.
And the PAs were predominantly what clubs.
Clubs.
That were there being booked.
And how much were they making for PAs then?
I reckon back then like 1,000, 2,000 for an appearance.
Okay.
Maybe more.
I can't really remember, but that's good money.
They're with good money.
Oh, yeah.
Unbelievable.
Two, three thousand pounds and they're just showing up at the club.
Yeah, getting drunk with their friends.
Getting drunk.
Girls everywhere.
So he's doing that frequently.
Yeah.
How frequently?
He was doing it most weekends, I would say.
But then he realized very quickly he's not going to work with in a relationship.
You can't do both.
And I think that is why we survived because he didn't, he stopped doing him, I think.
Look at that.
He was like, this isn't for me.
I think he valued my relationship more, you know, luckily for me.
Yeah, look at that.
Yeah.
You know, I think that's why I asked, was he a bad boy or a bad bad boy?
No, yeah.
Because what I often see is, this is with men, regardless of the lifestyle they're living,
when they meet a partner where life, everything with that partner is better,
they're willing to stop whatever it was they were doing.
And it sounds like this is exactly what Tommy did.
Yeah, the press were right.
They were nice.
And I think the press can't write if it's not there.
You know, I think they can try and find a story.
But if he's not on a table with loads of girls, and even if he was, if he's not doing anything, what can they write?
Yes.
So, and also then the trust come in and, and, and, you know,
I used to turn up a lot.
How so?
Well, he started, he opened a club with these guys and I used to go every Friday.
Did you?
Yeah, of course I did.
I used to show my face and I used to make it very known that that was my boyfriend.
Okay.
I used to circle the club and I'd be like, that's my boyfriend.
I mean, now I'll be like, do your thing.
I'm, I'm saying I'm for a cup of tea, but I couldn't care.
But back then, I'm like, this is my territory.
What the girls did to me on Towie, I was doing to the other guys.
You're doing it. Yeah, yeah. Now, see, I didn't realize that there was that much pressure on you and Tommy from the other members.
Yeah. And one thing I was doing in the research is I saw and tell me if this is accurate, is that do you speak to any of the Tawi cast? You do?
I do.
All right. So it wasn't like this mass fallout.
No, they wrote that.
Okay.
Because I think someone did it, said to me, are you inviting everyone's the wedding?
and I was like hardly anyone from the show
purely because I'm not going to start inviting the whole cast
my wedding, I had a lot of people
and also there's only a certain few now
that I'm really close to.
I talked to everyone, I bumped into the cast
when I was doing promo for my show not that long ago
and I'm like, guys, what's going on?
I'm a big Towie fan.
I love Towie. I still watch it.
So when I see them, I'm like, oh, let's tell me, tell me the goss.
And I get back into that natural role
but I'm not going to invite him to my wedding
because your wedding, do you know?
But no, there was no fallout.
I was not where they got that from.
And also too is I think there's probably
there's not a strong understanding
as to what the relationship actually is.
Yeah.
So I would imagine it feels like
they were castmates.
Yes, yes.
It wasn't best friends.
No, and some of them are.
Some of them were, but they've left now.
Okay.
My best friends left.
So yeah
The girls on there now
I'm like I talk to all of them
I'll say hello if I saw them
I'm so excited to see them
But yeah no
They're not my best friends now
You know
Sure so who were the best friends
So Lydia was my bridesmaid
Chloe Lewis
Amber
She come on
With me for a bit
Danielle Armstrong
I've got good
Good friends on that show now
And we're still really really close
Which is actually really nice
Yeah it's really good
Yeah
It's really good
And then the boys
Oh, she's one of my good friends.
Danigar is one of my good friends still and he's still on the show.
He was at my wedding.
So, yeah, there's still good.
I've got a lot of good connections from that show that will never go.
Because when you're on that show, you do have a bond that no one can.
I can't describe the bond.
It's like a weird family connection.
They're not your family, but they are.
You've, like, experienced this life together that no one really knows about,
you can't explain it to people, but you just get each other.
Yeah.
It's like a fraternity and a sorority, you know, combined.
Yeah.
You know, what do you think it was about Taui and still is that mesmerizes so many people?
You know, like when you walked in, I was telling you a story about how I was in the U.S.
Yeah.
On another project, right?
And someone literally walks in an American saying,
Wow.
Do you know about Tawi?
No.
I watch Tawi.
Right.
So it's one of these where it was, it's a phenomenon.
and it actually launched many other reality television shows.
I think Maiden Chelsea happened as a result of TOWI.
What do you think it was and still is about Tawi that has made it so,
you know, such an important part of UK culture?
I think because no one had seen it before.
Everyone was like, wait, they're not actors, you know?
He was like, and it's so funny because people still say to me to stay,
did you have a script?
I'm like, a script?
Absolutely not.
We can't even repeat a line.
Like, we're not good at scripts.
Like, absolutely not.
And people just mesorized.
They were like, what?
So you really just walk down the road and that happens.
I'm like, yeah, they're like, that drama's room.
I'm like, yeah, people still are like, what?
And I'm like, no, I know.
It is actually wild.
But Essex is like that.
You know everyone.
Someone's dated the cousins, cousins.
Everyone's like, it's like that.
So what a great idea to make a show about it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just, it is so great this day.
I think that you were perfect in that environment.
and you really thrive, like you came into yourself.
I loved it.
You know?
Yeah.
But even to now even to go back and look at how, so when you met Tommy, you came back home.
Yeah.
And then that's when you first saw that your parents had literally split up.
Your mother moved out of the house.
Yeah.
Right.
But you had Tommy.
Yeah, Tommy.
So I would imagine that gave you, Tommy really became the safe space for you.
Yeah.
And a lot of pressure of him, actually, because I kind of then moved into his house.
I, like, never left because I was like, hang on, this is nice.
I'm just going to stay here for a bit.
So did you believe that you two would get married?
Because that's right at the moment where you start to become disillusioned around love.
So what did you think your relationship with Tommy would be?
I kind of didn't know.
I kind of didn't really want to be married, but I kind of didn't want to not be with him.
So I just was like, oh, I like this.
And it's working.
And he always said, like, we're going to get married.
And I think the show really wanted it to happen on the show.
But I was like, this isn't a showman.
So we're not doing that.
We're not doing it for a deal, magazine deal, or, you know, just for the show.
Like, we was very certain on that.
And I think people realized that quite quick.
I wanted to see if it was the real deal, you know.
Yes.
Is that almost what led to you and Tommy leaving Towie?
So we left Tau because I was pregnant.
Okay.
Yeah.
And it just felt right.
to leave. I kind of was, I never said I was leaving, leaving. I just said I'm leaving for a bit.
And I was, I was heavily pregnant and I had to leave to have the baby and I was like, I'm
definitely not going to film. I filmed right up until I was pregnant. And then we got offered
a two part special for Brodie. So it was like, oh yeah, might as well.
All right.
Might as well. And then I, yeah. So then you were officially gone?
Then I never went back.
From Talley.
I went back for a, I think I've done a couple of like cameos, but yeah, my life then moved on.
All right.
Now, Brody.
Yeah.
Before you have Brody.
Yeah.
From what I understand is that you were on contraception.
Yeah.
For a long period of time.
Yeah.
Okay.
How many, how many, it was years and years and years.
Years, yes.
It was like 16 or something.
And so did you get pregnant while on?
On contraception or no?
No.
So it was the weirdest thing.
He was in lockdown.
And it started making me feel really sick, weirdly, this tablet.
And I've been on this tablet for years.
Actually, people were saying you should come off them.
And in my head, I thought, okay, we'd been together a while then.
I thought, everyone said to me, then pills takes a year and a half to come out your system.
Everyone said it to me.
So I thought, oh, God, that's a lot, isn't it?
And it started making me feel sick.
I have no idea why.
So I come off.
well, I got pregnant straightway
Look at that
Biggest shock ever
Actually
Okay
I was like oh my God
Oh no
What's happened
Wow
So you were scared
Yeah
Because I did
I know it's so silly
Because that's what happens
When you do that
But I was like
Oh oh
What
I was like
So like
I didn't expect it
And it was in lockdown
We was like
What is this
And I was like
Maybe it's lying
The test isn't real
It was real
And it was terrifying
And it was terrifying
but unbelievable.
And actually,
the best thing that ever happened
because now I think,
I don't think I'd have ever planned
to have a baby
because I thought of it
was terrifying to me.
So actually, it was the biggest
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So then having Brody
You become a mom
Yeah
How does that change your life?
Completely changed my whole life
I was like, what is this life
to be honest
I was like whoa this is a lot
I was like this is hard
and it's like
threw me in. I don't think I've realized that
when you're pregnant, you're like, I'm pregnant.
I love to being pregnant. You get so much attention
if I was really nice to you. And I was filming
Tawi when I was pregnant.
And, you know, I got to
go in later and, you know, it was just
great. And, you know, everyone was like, oh, you're lovely.
And I loved it. I had so much confidence as well being pregnant.
I wore really tight dresses
and I was like, love the bump.
I couldn't believe it. I shocked myself.
And then you think you're going to be pregnant forever.
I didn't think I realized
that I've actually had got to have a baby.
And then Brody turned breach and I was like, oh no, I've got a C-section.
And then that was petrifying.
But I just, I don't think I even knew what to expect.
I'm going to be honest.
You leave the hospital.
Yeah.
Come home.
Yeah.
Right.
Wild.
What makes it wild?
Whole house full of people.
First grandchild on both sides.
It was like Jesus has been born.
Yes.
And I was really happy because I love people, but I was like, well, this is a lot.
but I was kind of wanted the people there
because I was like, help me, what am I doing?
And I was a bit like, what now?
Don't leave me.
I was like, Mom, do not leave me.
Where are you going?
She's like, I'm just going.
No, no, no, no.
I think she stayed there for two weeks.
Do not leave me.
I was like, do not leave me.
I'm petrified, do not leave me.
She's like, you're fine.
No, no, don't leave me.
It was the weirdest thing.
I definitely struggled, definitely mentally.
Now looking back, I weren't right, really.
I weren't right.
I was very, really struggled
because I didn't know what to,
expect. And I never forget feeling really, really lonely in a house full of people. And I
remember I used to take myself off to the bathroom and cry a lot. And I didn't realize that Tommy
realised I kept crying and I would do the night feeds and I would like cry and be like, this is
scary, that this is a really scary place. And I didn't realize I was in this place. But it was a
dark place, to be honest, because I was a bit like, I was bit like, what is this life?
what have I done really?
So when you reflect back, do you feel like you were going through postpartum?
100%.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, you know, I was looking at postpartum, and here's what I didn't realize about it, was how prevalent it is.
So, technically, postnatal depression, right?
It's a type of depression that many parents experience after having a baby.
Main symptoms include low mood.
Yeah.
Exhaustion, difficulty bonding with the baby.
Yeah.
Extreme anxiety or irritability.
Yeah.
But here's what I didn't realize was how common.
So it affects more than 10% of women within a year of giving birth.
Wow.
And it could also affect fathers.
Mad.
Which I didn't realize.
No.
So when you think about those behaviors for you or the symptoms, should I say, what were your symptoms?
I couldn't bond
I didn't know how to bond
and the hardest bit
about parenthood for me was
everybody said to me
which they shouldn't have said to me
which I don't blame them by I do
when you have this baby
you're going to get this overwhelming feeling
of love
and you're going to bond instantly
it's this instant mother's instinct
and this connection
so when it didn't happen to me
I thought oh my God I knew it
there's something wrong for me
there was something wrong with me
I should have stuck with dog
I was so in my head.
I was like, I know I love this thing, this human,
but also kind of like an alien because I don't actually know you.
I remember thinking, I don't know you, but I love you.
I know I love you, that was certain.
I knew I loved him.
But I thought, how come I haven't got this bond?
And I was thinking, maybe it's delayed.
It's delayed.
And then everyone said, you're going to know what to do.
And I kept thinking, everyone said there's this mother instinct that kicks in and you know what to do.
But I didn't know what to do.
And I thought, oh my God.
It's like, wrong with me again.
What's wrong with me?
And I was just, I was so in my own head that I kept thinking,
why have I not got this mother's instinct that everyone told me I was going to get?
Yes.
And when you reflect back, Georgia, what was the hardest day of that period for you?
Day three and ten.
You remember?
I remember it, day three and ten, yeah.
I don't know why, day three and ten.
And it only got better when Tommy said it out loud in front of my mum, his mom and the midwife.
Okay, so he had to say it.
He said it. He said, she's not right, by the way.
So day three, for example, what was going on for you, day three?
I was just everything. I was like, I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror.
I was like, what is this person? I didn't look like me. I had this person on me.
I was like, this alien person. I was like, how am I going to keep this person alive?
I will keep worrying. How am I going to keep him alive? And I was like, I know I've got a feed in a bottle, but I was like, how do I know?
I was like, everything I was picking up. How do I know? How am I going to do this?
I was always thinking, is he okay?
Is he okay? Is it okay? Is it okay?
And then I thought, oh my God, is this going to last forever?
This tiredness, like, all like I couldn't see past the night feeds and the days.
And they all blurred into one.
And it was, I had so much love around me and everyone was so excited about this beautiful baby and his healthy baby.
And I thought, why am I not as excited as everyone else?
And you didn't tell anyone?
No, not one person.
I was ashamed.
because I thought they're judging me
and I thought this makes me a bad person
because I thought, how am I not happy?
How can I not be happy about a newborn baby?
That's terrible.
It wasn't obviously terrible, but I couldn't get out of my own head.
I thought, this is terrible.
And everyone was like, it's the best thing in the world
and I was like, no, I know it is.
And he's unbelievable and I love him.
But why am I not as happy as all the views?
Like, this is weird.
If you could go back and be with you on day three
or day 10,
Yeah.
What would you have done or told yourself?
I've hugged myself and said, this is so normal.
This is so normal. This is so normal.
This is you.
And you're fine.
And this is just your emotions.
You've got hormone raging through your body.
This is totally normal.
And you've had, you've been cut open multiple layers.
You had a C section.
You are fine.
You're doing amazing.
Like, you are fine.
It's going to get better.
It's going to get easier to give yourself a break.
I'd have gave myself a cup of tea and gone, you're fine.
Okay.
Yeah.
Is that what happened after Tommy saw what was going on with you
and then told people out loud?
Oh my God, instant change.
He, I never forget, it was in the kitchen.
I was on the sofa, had the baby in my arms, had the midwife.
The midwife, her name was Pat.
She was unbelievable and I had her a lot.
And I'd hurt my mum and Bev all the time.
They were there.
And Tommy said to everybody, they were like, how are you?
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, good, thanks, yeah.
That's just the way I'd do.
I'm good at it, right?
and he said, no, she's not.
She is not right.
And all of a sudden, everyone looked at me, and I burst into tears.
And everyone was so shocked.
Because I think they was just thought I was like tired and stuff, you know.
And I burst in tears and I was like, it all come out.
I was like, I'm struggling.
I don't know what I'm doing.
And from that day, my whole experience changed.
What do you think would have happened if he had not said that?
I don't know, you know.
scary to think about it because it only would have got worse, you know,
because them night feeds go on, three months,
which was actually really quick for some babies, bro.
But three months is a long time to feel lonely, you know,
and your faults go into a place, you lose yourself,
I was just so, I didn't know what I was doing,
like just walking to the shop was a lot, like everything was a lot.
I'm so thankful to him to stay that he did that.
And at the time I was fuming, by the way,
I looked to him and I remember thinking,
how dare you?
How dare you say out, like,
I was fuming, but then when I cried, I was like, now I'm like, thank God, thank God.
Yeah, you were able to release.
It's one of these where this is, one is, thank you for sharing that, is I would imagine you
think that the more of these conversations that we have, we normalize this and we realize
that because one is we have a significant number of women that are impacted by this,
a significant number of men impacted by this
and having that conversation just to be aware that,
you know what, this is normal.
So normal.
Yeah, this is.
And do you know what?
Looking back now, there weren't a lot of people
in the public eyes saying that.
There weren't anyone that I could,
that admitted they struggled.
And I'd really, really found that hard
because I'd look on social media
and it'd be like, these girls would be having babies
and I'd be like, why have they got their life together?
they're really like and it made me feel really bad about myself
and it weren't their fault
but like there was no one opening up and I was like
so I used to think it was just me
no one was talking about body image and how it affected them
how they lost themselves or how they didn't look like themselves
how they didn't bond with their baby
no one was saying that because and I get it
because everyone felt ashamed I wouldn't even
I weren't even saying it really
so I couldn't expect other people to
so I think it's so important because
how many other women are sitting there
they're thinking that, you know.
Yes.
You know, and it's like if I would have had that person to go, oh, yeah, I'm not alone,
you know.
And I know that I definitely will help people like talking about it because it was a lonely time.
Yes.
But it's so normal.
And it's so normal.
And look, you know, look what's happened as a result is that you have now, or as a
result of Tommy, you know, outing you.
Yeah.
Is that you were able to emotionally get it out of you.
Yeah.
But then you said things got better.
Oh, my God.
Unbelievable.
So did you feel like literally it was once you didn't feel the pressure of the shame?
Yeah.
That's when it started to go away.
I was like instantly like, wow, this is normal.
Okay, cool.
If I want to cry today, I'm going to cry.
If I don't want to get up my pajamas, I'm not going to.
It was all normal.
And I was filming my show as well.
So I was trying to juggle, wait, hang on a minute.
Because I was so, our show is very, very raw.
Like it is so fly on the wall.
It is so fly on the wall.
And I remember filming the whole series of my pajamas.
basically and I was like I'm not changing because so this this is not tired this is the
this was the solo show baby steps yeah multiple series of baby steps by the way six
series yeah congrats on that thank you that's not bad that's not bad yeah so you're
filming the show yeah while this is happening yeah you're probably hiding it from
production yeah hiding it obviously from the audience yeah do you ever showcase it yeah
showcased everything okay because what happened was Tommy's
out in me was
we just started properly filming
so everything was
I was literally filmed the whole series
looking back in my pajamas
look at that
I basically like no one
everyone does it now but back then
like no one did that
like no one was on camera like that
like I mean I even got my belly out
I think I was in a half of the days
sleep deprived and just went with it
which was actually great now
but it was so raw
that footage of that series was
so raw. I like look like if you look at my eyes I'm like I don't know what I'm doing I couldn't
tell you the day of the week it was you know like I was in it yes I'm glad actually why because I'm
glad I didn't hide it because it's the first time my life that I never hid how I felt actually so you
stop deflecting yeah that's why the show was good I think because you were your true true
authentic because I couldn't hide it because I didn't know how to that was the first time I didn't
know how to because I was like whoa I'm watering now I'm like in the deep end like
And I don't like swimming.
Like I'm like in the sea around me.
And I was like, it was baby.
I couldn't deflect.
There was no hide in it.
Do you know?
Yes.
Yes.
And then as, you know, Brody grew.
Yeah.
And your relationship with Tommy grew.
Yeah.
How did your relationship change at all with Tommy?
Oh, it changed.
It was hard.
We, I become more confident being a mum.
He become confident being a dad.
It was great.
but then we realised quite quickly something was wrong, something was going on.
And we realised we went away, probably was only three months old, and we rowed the whole
trip, bad, really bad. And I couldn't understand why we weren't getting on. And then I realised
quite quickly that, hang on a minute, we're really, really good at life. We've always been good
at life together.
But now, when you become a parent, you need to be on the same page and you need to think
the same when it comes to a child.
And we've always not really thought the same.
And we never really knew that.
Because why would you think the same?
We're both doing our lives and we live together.
We have dinner together, you know.
But parenting and a human keeping them life together and you've got kind of got to think,
you know, agree the same things.
We clashed.
Yes.
And I didn't understand why.
And I was like, I can't do this.
I don't, this is wrong.
I don't like it.
You can't do the relationship.
Can't do the relationship.
And we come back from New Yorker and we was going to split up generally.
And it was bad.
It was really bad because I was like, whoa, I've got a three-month-old baby.
I don't want to be on my own.
I want this family unit more than ever.
I love him, but we are not aligning.
And I just didn't know why because I was like, why are we not aligning?
And I'll never forget Brody would cry and it would trigger Tommy's brain.
Like, when I'm in brains, because I know that now,
but it would trigger him and he couldn't deal with crying.
And I'd be like, grow up.
I remember being annoyed.
I'd be like, grow up.
So then if Brody would cry, what would he do?
He'd be like, I can't deal with it and walk out.
And I'd be like, well, great.
You think he's abandoning.
Abandoning me.
We're supposed to be a team.
We've always been a team.
Our whole relationship, we've been a team.
And now you're not being a team with me.
Why?
And I was annoyed because I was like, hang on, I need you more than ever.
you've been the best teammate the whole time.
You're saying you can't deal with the crying.
Get over it.
Like that was my attitude.
I was like, which I feel bad about now.
But at the time, I'm being honest.
I was like, I don't get it.
Grow up.
It's not about you.
It's about the child.
And then when we come back, I realized, no, there's more to this.
How did you realize?
I don't know.
I was like, this isn't right.
There's something.
This isn't about the crying.
This isn't about not being my team.
There's more to you.
what is going on?
And I was like, I actually, I was driving, I called him and I said,
before we split up, I think you need to get, I think you're going to get diagnosed with ADHD.
I think you've got ADHD.
He was like, what?
I was like, no, no, I think I'm going to get you to see someone and I think you've got it.
So you were both at the verge of splitting up?
No, yeah, he was moving out.
He was like, I'm going to move out.
And I was like, what?
but I actually kind of was going to let him
because I was like I can't deal with the pressure around with you
and trying to be a mum
because this is hard anyway, really hard
and I just couldn't do it.
And I think now knowing more of your story with Tommy,
I can't imagine how hard it was in that moment
because here you two had come off of a reality TV show
with people actively trying to break you up
and you were able to stay together.
Yeah.
So that's immense.
pressure.
Yeah.
But then you fast forward and that friction that you had, that was just between the two
of you.
Yeah.
That alone was causing you to split up.
Yeah.
And I couldn't understand because we've always been a solid team.
Right.
Throughout everything.
Okay.
So I'd put in Google like partner triggered by crying or, and it kept coming up like
different things like autism, ADHD and it kept flagging.
And then I started reading it.
I'd be like, hmm.
And so he reacted.
acted positively. I couldn't believe the positive reaction. I mean, never forget. And I'd done it
driving because I was scared. I was like, I'm just going to do it now. Well, I'm on the phone. If it was
safe on the phone, you know, like, it was like, because it's not a nice thing, you know. So I just
called him and I was like, I never forget it. And I literally remember where I was driving. Like,
that's how crazy. I literally remember it. And he was like, no, you're right. I'm going to do it.
And I was like, wow, okay, that's brave. And he did it. And he had it. And he had it. Yeah.
Look at that. I know.
So when you get the results back, are you two together?
Yes.
What's your and his reaction?
I wasn't shocked, but I was actually so relieved because I was like, it's not us.
It's not you.
It's not me.
It's this.
We can do this.
We've worked on loads of things together.
We've got through loads of stuff before.
We've grew up on telly together.
We're fine.
Let's work it out.
And it was a relief and he was relieved.
He was relieved.
He was so relieved for himself and take away us.
for himself, he was like, wow, because I never forget he said to me once.
He said, don't you have music plan in your head?
And I was like, what?
And he's like, is your head not always busy and music and talking?
I was like, no.
He's like, well, what are you thinking?
I was like, no, nothing.
He's like, what?
He's like, Georgia.
My brain is da-da-da-da-da.
And I was like, that's exhausting.
And I think for once in his life, he was like, wow, my whole life has been answered.
because he's gone through his whole life like this.
Studies suggest less than 20% of adults with ADHD are aware that they have it.
Right?
So the vast majority are unaware.
Yeah.
Tommy was unaware.
A study found that 24 out of 25 spouses of virtually all adults, all adult spouses with ADHD felt their partner's symptoms interfered with their functioning in one or more areas.
Specifically, household chores or organization.
Oh.
So did you, now when you look back, do you see how the ADHD, his ADHD was showing up in his behavior outside of just the baby crying?
Oh, yeah.
But I used to think, oh, you're lazy.
Oh, your mom's done it for you the whole life.
Mommy's boy.
You know, and to be honest, I didn't need to deal with the traits because, yes, we live together, but he'd go to work.
I'd go to work.
We'd film.
It never really affected me.
until we had to be on the same page.
So that's insightful.
Yeah.
You know, because it was, there's a higher degree of requirement that you get it right because
you have a child.
Yeah.
You know, so there's a lot more pressure.
It matters more.
It does.
You know.
It does.
So once you get the diagnosis, you both get it.
Yeah.
How does it, what do you then change or how does that diagnosis change how you two then operate?
Because I would imagine you come together stronger.
We come together stronger because we was like, okay.
let's look into this
like what do we do
and was actually filming
then for our show
which was actually great
because what happened was
the show become therapy for us
because I never forget
our exec producer come
come around and said right
we've been offered
another series
from the success of the other one
have you been
what's been going on
and I looked at her and I was like
no no
she's like what I'm like
no we're like
We're really bad, actually.
She's like, what?
ITV didn't know about it.
No one knew about it because we weren't filming.
And actually, then they went back to ITV
and they said, you know,
Georgia and Tommy actually aren't this happy.
They've had this baby, but they've been really bad.
And they were like, okay, are they still going through it?
They were like, yeah, they were like, okay, let's film it.
So we filmed it.
At the time, I was like, I don't know if it's a good idea.
Because I didn't know what was going to happen.
It could have gone either way.
Actually, it's the best thing that happened
because we had to talk about it.
We had to talk about everything
and it was the best therapy we've ever, ever had.
Yes, just talking about it, right?
I'm with you, Georgia.
It's one of these where I,
and I think this podcast has helped me
to fully understand the weight of this
is the harder, the conversations are,
the higher quality of life we have.
100%.
And I can't recommend talking enough.
And listen, I've done it my whole life.
I've swerved me.
I've deflected everything.
And I had to learn very, very quick when I become a mum that, no, no, no, you can't do that.
You can't do that.
And I have responsibility as Brody's mum to not do that.
I have to talk because I need to be the best version for him and myself.
And I really wanted to make our family unit work, you know.
And talking was the best thing.
And also me and him, them awkward chats together, we wouldn't have done, you know.
Like, we probably would have done them, but like swerved them.
a bit, you know, because they're awkward and they're uncomfortable, very uncomfortable,
and we had no choice.
It's hard living with someone with ADHD.
It is hard.
It's really hard for them, but it's also hard for you because our brains don't work the
same.
So everything is learning.
We're still learning now.
You know, I would say something and, or like, he would like snap or do something and
I'd be like, what?
And vice versa or I'd be really slow at him and you'd get annoyed with me.
And our brains are not the same.
So we are learning to go through life like that now.
But now we, you want to learn, don't you?
You know.
Yes.
And we want to make it work and, you know, and it's worth it.
And listen, the ADHD brain is great.
Unbelievable.
And people of ADHD, they think outside the box and they're very successful.
But if you don't know about it, you're like, what is this?
There you go.
Awareness is everything.
Awareness is everything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just a heads up before we get into this next section.
It includes a detailed account of miscarriage.
please take care while watching.
So then once the relationship between you and Tommy
started to grow stronger, stronger,
for what I understand is, you two decided,
let's give another baby a go.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
We got a really, really good place.
Work was going great with him.
I was like thriving in motherhood.
I was like, I think we could have another baby, you know.
And it was kind of like, again, when should we do it?
should we do it and was like, oh no, let's just go with it. And then it again happened really,
really quick, which blessed. Went to a scan. First scan, great. Lovely. Yeah, having a baby.
Second scan, great. I'm going to be honest, I blocked a lot of this out. I've like really,
so I needed to like open my brain up a bit. But I had a bleed one night. I never forget. I was having
a roast dinner. I was cooking one. I was on my feet all day cooking a roast dinner. I love
cooking a roast, by the way. I'm really good at potatoes. That's my thing. And I went upstairs.
I thought, that's weird.
I went to bed, woke up there to say,
because it was a weekend and there's nothing we could have done.
It was Sunday.
It was like, right, we'll ring.
First thing, we'll get an appointment.
Called them.
There was a private clinic in Loudoun that we called.
Called them, they were like, yeah, come in today.
It was like, okay.
So I go to scan and she's like, no, the bleeding, everything looks fine.
The bleeding's not the problem.
I'm like, what?
She's like, there's a heartbeat.
I'm like, oh, thank God.
straight away and I'm like relieved.
She's like, go silent.
I'm like, why should go silent?
If there's a heartbeat, I'm just looking at this heartbeat.
I'm like, why is she's going to silent?
She's like, the sack around the baby is small.
I'm like, so what does that mean?
I've got a small baby?
She's like, I'm not sure.
I'm like, what do you mean you're not sure?
She's like, I don't know yet.
I don't want to tell you anything wrong information yet until you're a bit big,
like a few more weeks.
Go home.
I see you in a week.
What does that mean?
What is that?
I drove myself mental.
I didn't sleep.
I didn't eat.
I didn't sleep.
I was sick.
I was like,
that was the worst bit
because I didn't understand
what was happening.
I was like,
am I pregnant?
Am I not?
Yes,
I'm pregnant.
Is the baby going to survive?
One minute I'm happy.
Then I'm not.
Then I'm going to a scan.
Then I'm Googling.
Then I'm asking friends.
And it was the up and down that I drove myself insane.
I tortured myself.
everyone around me was like, didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say.
I started getting a bump so quick.
I couldn't celebrate this pregnancy.
People around me, I was trying to hide it from the public.
The public kept writing on my Instagram, she's put on weight.
I was getting slated that I was getting big.
I was like in, I didn't know what, I didn't want to work.
I didn't want to go on social, but I had to do because it's my job.
People coming at me and I just, I genuinely didn't know what to think because I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know.
I was carrying this baby and I was like, I just, and I got really big quite quick for this baby.
So I didn't go back to her because, quite frankly, I was, I blamed her.
I was like, no, I don't like you.
Bless her.
Like that's terrible to say, but I was fuming.
I fuming with the world.
And then I, we found this doctor, this professional in London.
I go to him, I lay there the dreaded silence.
And then he's like, there's a heartbeat.
I'm like, oh, there's a heartbeat.
There's a heartbeat.
He's fine.
Then he goes, can you go empty your bladder?
I'm like, yeah, go to the bladder, go into my bladder.
I come back in the room, looked at Tommy's face, I was like, what?
He's at George's it down.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, what?
No what, what?
And he's like, the doctor was like, I'm going to be honest with you.
I don't know if this baby's going to survive.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, what do you mean?
He's like, I think you should go home and we'll talk again in a week.
I'm like, I can't, I can't, this is, this is, this is, this is.
He's like, I just, I don't want to say too much now and, you know, I tell you the wrong
information, but I could see a butt on his face.
I was thinking, I know you all know something, but I'm going to go, okay, I'm going to go
home and come back, why not?
You think they had a conversation when you went?
I think they had a conversation.
Yeah.
So I leave, I go home, I come back again, lay on the bed, same conversation.
I've tortured myself a week.
There's a heartbeat.
I'm like, there's a heartbeat.
Go through exactly the same thing.
I go toilet.
I come back.
Same thing. Everyone's silent.
No one's talking to me.
And I'm looking, Tommy, the doctor and the other guy,
no one, I'm trying to look at them in the eye to read it.
Tommy shook his head to me and I'm like, no, what do you mean?
And the doctor's like, this baby's not going to make it.
And I remember screaming going, what are you talking about?
The babies, I've just seen the heartbeat.
To me, I'm seeing this baby that's grown.
It looks like a baby.
It's a baby.
So I'm going to this doctor, what are you talking about?
And to be honest, I don't actually know what he said
because I was like, it kind of went a bit blurred,
a bit blacked out a bit, and I was just screaming,
saying, what are you talking about?
And he's like, we need to, this baby's not going to survive.
You've got two options.
I'm like, no, no.
And I remember, like, thinking, how do you know?
How do you know?
And he said, Georgia, I would not say this to if I didn't,
if I weren't 100% sure.
He's like, you can carry on this pregnancy,
but you're either going to,
go you can go full term
deliver a baby it could be stillborn
which is you've got really high chance of stillborn
he's like the other option is you
you need determination we need to remove the baby
and he's like the way you are
what you've gone through the last 12 weeks
because I was going back to all these scandinav weeks
like you've tortured yourself
for weeks on end I personally want to remove
this baby from you you need to get this baby out of you
like your mental health is is bad
you've got a child at home
who all son is looking after
And I was like, what?
I just, I think it went black around me to honest.
I didn't even know what to think.
No.
No.
How do you, what's the conversation between you and Tommy?
There was no conversation.
I just screamed the whole way home.
Screamed the whole way home.
And they said, they're going to call you to get a date in to remove this child.
And I was like, it goes against everything that I've ever believed in.
Because you're basically telling me I've got to take,
kill the back, terminate the baby
because the baby's alive.
Right.
So they're telling me, I've got to do,
I've got to say yes to that.
You know, like, I'm like, no.
But at the same time,
I can't go through
having a stillborn.
Either way,
I didn't want to make either decision, you know.
And the doctor rang me himself
and he said, Georgia,
I'm making a decision for you.
This is best for you,
your other child, your family.
We are removing, we have to remove this baby.
you could be pregnant for another six months.
You don't know.
And who knew?
He said, there is no, I was going,
please just tell me, I was like, how do you know?
I was like, is there even like a year of this baby?
Because I would have took the year.
I would have, I would have, I would have, I would have clung on.
If they said to me that baby could have lived for even a year,
I would have took it.
But an hour I know, still born.
I couldn't have done that to Brody.
I couldn't have done that to anyone around.
I couldn't have done that to myself.
I couldn't have done that.
So I said, okay, and they got me in the.
next day they were that concerned that decision one is I've never heard of a parent having to make
that particular decision before that's a heart-breaking decision I did some research and when I look at
the well one is in terms of what it is so triploity is a rare genetic condition that causes the developing
fetus to have 69
chromosomes. So that's instead of the regular 46. And it happens randomly. Yep. Right. And it's not caused by
parents' genes at all. And sometimes it happens when two sperm have hit the same egg. Yeah.
That's it. Yeah. So this is something that it's a rare occurrence. It affects one to three percent of
pregnancies worldwide. And what's interesting to is 66 percent of triploity cases affect male
fetuses.
Really?
Yes.
Wow.
So that evening, the doctor has really made the decision for you.
Yeah.
And it's for you, literally.
It's for your health.
I think he was concerned, to be honest.
I think he was very concerned about me.
I mean, I was in a different zone, to be honest.
I was like, because I was thinking, and I know that it's bad, but like, I was praying
that there was no heartbeat because then I didn't have to make that decision.
because although that would have been traumatic seeing no heartbeat,
it would have been done for me because there was no survival rate.
But I still had to sign the paperwork to say yes,
which goes against everything that I believe in,
because the baby's a blessing.
Yes.
So imagine the torture I put myself right.
I was like, I'm technically taking this baby out of me.
Yeah, I can't imagine.
It was just awful, to honest.
The whole thing was awful.
You know, I know that your advice on this is don't be afraid to tell people you're pregnant before the 12-week scan because, you know, you needed the support when you lost your baby.
Yeah.
So when you reflect back, you had not told people.
I told my family and my closest friends.
Your closest friends.
Hadn't told the public.
Okay.
Hadn't announced it.
Thank God I had told people, my friends and family, because.
Because if I hadn't, imagine doing that alone.
How did you and Tommy heal from that miscarriage?
I think I healed by crying a lot.
He didn't cry as much as me.
I think he did it more, he threw himself into work.
But I'm going to be honest, what come after that was really bad.
We then, my obsession with wanting a baby.
And it never, it wasn't happening.
And that was probably just as that, the torture again.
of trying of trying it not happening
because it happened quick
it happened first time both times
that pressure for our relationship
was really really bad
because he was like
you are torturing yourself
and I was like I need
I didn't want to replace the baby
you never can replace a soul
but I was like I just needed that back
I didn't even want to lose my bump
I was that I was that into it
it was bad
oh wow yeah I didn't want to lose
about I was eating like I was still pregnant.
So you're a public figure.
So you also have to deal with disclosing this to the public.
And I did really quick.
Okay.
I announced what had happened really, really quick because I was just,
I just needed to do it.
I was like, I just need to say it and then stop hiding.
Because people writing on my pictures, the whole pregnancy, like,
I think she's pregnant.
I think she's pregnant.
And it's so wild that people think that they can do that.
actually beyond me because I would never, in a million years, ask a woman if they're pregnant.
Even before this happened to me, I wouldn't do it, but we need to stop doing that.
Yeah, not speculate.
Yeah.
Yeah, we had Perry Edwards on and she said the same thing.
It's like the speculation is just horrible.
There was, and it's, you know, like the algorithm.
My whole thing was pregnant, pregnant, pregnant, pregnant.
Everywhere.
People were telling me they were pregnant and, like, my friends were pregnant and it was just a lot.
And I had loads of people say to me, well, you know, you've,
You've got one child.
You've got one.
You should be grateful.
And I'm thinking, hang on a minute.
I know how good having one baby is.
That does not give, like that doesn't mean that I can't want another baby.
Just because you have one baby doesn't mean you don't deserve another.
Like, how dare you?
Like, and I was just like, I'd have took on the world to, but I was around with it.
I would have around of anyone at that point.
I was so in it.
I didn't want to work.
I didn't want to, I didn't want to do anything.
I was like so, all I wanted was baby.
But as you and Tommy continued to try, you were unsuccessful at getting pregnant.
Yeah.
So at what point do you think, all right, we need help?
He said it's me.
I think we were trying and trying.
And, you know, trying for a baby is not fun at all.
It got to a point where it was very like one plus one is two.
Yes, yeah.
You know, just a second on that.
For someone who's been there.
Yeah.
Right.
For an extended period of time.
Yeah.
Is we often hear a couple's talk about trying for a baby.
Yeah.
But those that are not say, oh yeah, that's fun.
Yeah.
But it's not always fun.
No.
It's a job when you're getting it done.
Exactly.
It's a transaction.
Transaction.
It's a transaction.
And, you know, when you get really, really serious about it is that you're looking at the time.
You're looking at, you know, there's a lot that goes into it.
Yeah.
But for you, what made it, what made it challenging?
I had every single ovulation stick going.
I drove myself mad.
And I would be like, I'm ovulating.
And he didn't understand it because why would he understand it?
Because I was obsessed.
He weren't obsessed.
And also, I was annoyed at my body because I was like, why are you letting me down?
Why are you doing this to me?
I was just, I was like, it was this circle of like,
and it was just, it was never going to be,
there was no good outcome come out of this, I'm going to be honest,
I was like, unhappy, depressed, I was eating, I was like, I was like, there.
I mean, I never stopped being a great mum to Brody
because he's my first priority, but apart from him, I was like,
didn't care about anything else, I was like, don't want to go out,
weren't seeing anyone, I was like, I'd put on so much weight
and I, I got into the biggest rock.
I was like eating because I wanted the baby bump, which is actually mentally disturbing, actually.
I drove Tommy so mad because I'd be like, you can't go out and do things because I'm ovulating that day.
You can't go away in that work trip.
I'm modulating.
And it like took over our life.
Well, you say that was the lowest point of your relationship with Tommy.
That was bad.
He said like, it ruined us.
He was like, you was obsessed.
And I know I was.
I couldn't help it.
And I actually didn't like myself.
I really didn't like myself at the time.
But I couldn't help it.
I really couldn't,
nothing could have snapped me out of that,
nothing.
So he suggested that you,
what help did he suggest?
So I was writing,
so I was writing a book at the time,
weirdly,
which actually again was therapy.
I don't know why this keeps happening to me.
Things happen when I need it,
which is good.
And I was never forget,
I was in London,
doing the audio for the book,
and I come on period.
And I was really hopeful this month,
like you are every month,
because I was a bit late.
and I text him
just come on my period
he texts back
no he rang me he said I'm booking
I'm booking out of year
and he was like I booked it we're going
I was like what
he's like we're going tomorrow
and well
thank God for that
look at that
look at that
so first cycle
successful
thank God for you
yes so lucky
which is a blessing
such a blessing
which is a blessing
and then we have
Gigi Gigi
yeah
Yes. Now, Gigi is, you've referred to Gigi as your rainbow.
Yes.
Baby.
Mylene class was the first person that I'd ever heard talk about a rainbow baby.
I'd never heard of the concept.
It is a beautiful concept.
So lovely.
So how do you, how would you describe a rainbow baby?
She's just this, this perfect, this ray of sunshine.
And she is just everything that I was supposed to have.
Yes, yes.
She's just magical in different ways.
And then also have you looked into how your second child,
how a lot of that even genetic makeup now has gone through you onto Gigi.
Yes.
And Marlene Kass actually, she, I think it was with you actually,
said about the baby DNA lives in you.
Yes.
Forever.
And that actually gives me a bit of reassurance.
Well, I tell you what, on the, you say you're 10 months in, right?
When you think about the reaction, but also this term that I've talked to a lot of my guess about a lot of the moms around the quote unquote bounce back.
What's your position on that?
Because, well, I don't even want to put words in your mouth.
What's your position on moms, on the snapback, the bounce back, that whole adage of,
get your body back to where it was as soon as possible.
So I hate that phrase,
snapped back,
bounce back.
And it was a massive trigger for me when I had Brody.
I was in such a deep,
dark place that I was going on Instagram
and I was seeing these mums
that just had their like six packs out
and they just had their life together.
And I was in such, such a dark place that I,
it was more internal that I was like,
why are you so happy?
Why do you look like your life's all good?
when I'm like in my pajamas, my belly was like swollen.
I was injecting myself every day because I was on,
if you have a C-section, you have to have blood thinners.
I was a bruise.
And I was like, how is that genetically possible to have a six-pack?
I think it should be you train when you want to train.
You do it for when you want to do it.
And so honest, it's the best thing I've done for my mental health this time around.
And it's that hour out of the day that I solely rely on.
If I didn't have a wedding, would I have gone in gym?
quicker, like would I have gone gym?
No, definitely not.
Because I don't think it should be about that to this day.
I think you should have a baby and it should be about surviving their months.
Just making sure that you're up and showered is enough.
Right.
And having that baby alive is enough.
It shouldn't be about having the pressure to be back in your jeans, to be honest.
It shouldn't be about that.
But if you want to do that, you do that for yourself.
Make sure it's for yourself, not for anyone else.
and I'm so strong on that now
because I've done it this time for myself
not because of someone told me how to bounce back
because that's some ridiculous saying
I did it because I had a wedding that I wanted to go to
that was my own and a hendo that I wanted to feel good at
and I thought you know what this is more about what I look like
I'm so determined to get my life back
because I'd lost myself
so that this time is being more about getting myself back
rather than just my body
and the body's just come with it
Getting yourself back.
Yeah.
And I'm such a different person now.
I'm so content.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, when you think about getting back to a place where you feel, you know, good about you, right?
So many of us disproportionately place body image in that category.
Yeah.
So what is your relationship then with body image over the years?
I feel like I grew up on telly.
So my whole 20s, I have always had to be in a kid.
filming, which actually was a lot of pressure where I didn't realize it.
So when I had Gigi and the wedding, naturally the pressure was easy because I was like,
wait, hang on it.
It's like it went back to like the Tower days and I was like, I had to do this.
Yes.
I'm actually good under pressure because I've always done it.
And I achieved it.
And people was like, you just had a baby.
There's no way you're going to be able to get back to yourself, you know,
with this wedding, I was like,
I didn't actually know what I was going to achieve looking wise.
I just knew I wanted to feel good.
I just wanted to feel so confident at my hinder and my wedding.
Actually, when I realized speaking to people,
but after, I'm like, I've always done that.
Right.
You've already, yes, since the beginning of Tawi.
But even when you think about that,
and, you know, one is thanks for being honest about that,
because the guys do that as well.
You know, I see it all the time on, you know,
friends of mine that are on TV or shows that I've,
done where they know there's that one beach scene that they need to do or that one pool
scene that they need to do. And they're literally working out up to the minute before the scene.
Oh, but they're doing up in the monium. They're on the side doing push-ups. They're on this
right before. So this is what people on television do. Now, what about body enhancements,
surgeries, et cetera, because that's a major part, I think, of the career of a lot of people on
television. Yeah.
Right. So did you feel pressure early on? Yeah. You did. Yeah. Okay. I had my boobs done
before I even went on Tower. I had my boobs on, put my, I had my boobs done when I was
dear the year I was going on Tower. I was like 19 or 20. Did you have them done in particular
thinking of tap?
No.
No, no, you just.
Just knew I wanted them done.
And that was probably from everyone in Essex was doing that.
So I was like, well, I'm doing it.
And I always had big boobs.
My Greek nans got big boobs.
It's like my Irish, a lot of good, good.
I just, the shape, I just never liked the shape.
I was never confident about the shape.
I was quiet.
They were slightly different.
And, you know, when you're young, you're like,
they have to be the same, you know.
This is how I used to think.
Of course you do.
And I knew I was getting my boobs done.
And I got them done really, really young.
Okay.
And what's your positioning on that now?
Because surgery and enhancements are at an all-time high across the board.
So what's your positioning now?
So now I'm actually redoing my boobs.
So since then, so they're now 14 years old.
And I found a lump in my boob in the summer.
literally three days later
I saw this doctor
he felt he was like
I know what you mean
scanned me straight away
he was like okay
the lump is nothing to worry about
I was like
oh my god thank God
there's like
I'm gonna scan the other one
as he scanned the other one
he's like
that can you see that
I was like
what's that
he's like
that implant's ruptured
I'm like
what
he's like
they're not supposed to be
like that
I was like
oh
okay he's like
you need to get them out
he was like
they're not going into
implants
he was like
which is obviously good
but that's not
saying that they won't
implants
can leak. I was like, okay, he's like, you need to get them out when you get home.
I'm like, okay, fast forward. I've been recommended surgeon in London, went to see him,
really lovely guy. He was like, how are you not in pain? I said, what? Is that, are you not in agony?
I'm like, yeah, I said, I've had a bit of pain. I said, but I've got, I'm going to be
honest. I've been busy. I've had a baby. I've had an IVF. I've got married. I've had that.
A lot's happened in my last two years of life. I was like, I've just ignored them. He's like,
you can't do that is that you need to get them out.
So I'm now getting them out.
I think the problem nowadays with implants is they disguise things.
You need, if you're going to have implants, I feel like, listen, surgery is up to everyone.
I think if it's going to make you feel good about yourself, why not do it?
If it's safe and you've got great, like you're going to a great doctor that you really recommend,
why should anyone tell you shouldn't do it?
It's your life, right?
But please, anyone out there that's getting boobs or doing boobs, just feel them more, touch them because unfortunately implants, you know, it could be the implant, it could be a lump, just get them checked.
And unfortunately, if you have got an implant, you need to get that scan.
Because unless you're getting a scan, you can't tell, I would have never known that they're ruptured.
I'd have never known they're broken.
So thank God I did do that.
Yes.
And you think about how important this message is because of how life threatening.
Yes.
Right.
This is so.
So when you think about.
how dangerous even the position that you're in.
Yeah.
Because you said that the doctor doesn't know.
No.
What's what's happening?
Many doctors don't want to do this procedure.
How dangerous is it?
Yeah, well, you know, if it gets into blood, that's bad.
I'm praying that, you know, they might never, but they could.
So I can't take that risk.
Yes.
And I don't ideally want to get surgery now.
No, I've got a baby.
It's going to be awful.
I can't lift her to two.
weeks that is not great at all. I can't even lift you out the cot. But if I don't do it now,
when am I going to do it? Well, good that you're going in for surgery. Oh, I know, but.
Yes. I know another thing to do. I'm like, I just want to break. I've been so busy.
No, you know, I think life has said to you no break. So what is next?
I just want to do so much. I'm so content in my, in my home life. I've got two healthy,
unbelievable children and, oh my God, it's hard. It's so hard, by the way.
Gigi was up all night.
It is very hard, but I wouldn't change it.
You know, baby loss and things like that.
You never get over, I don't think, but you learn to live with it
and you, and you like appreciate things more.
And now I'm like, I am so ready to just to be present.
So present.
I just want to be present.
I know I can do more and I feel like I give,
I just focus my life on having babies and for my family for the last couple of years.
And now I'm ready to do things myself as well.
and I don't even feel bad saying that
because I definitely am a better mum
when I have a bit of time for myself
like taking that time to train for me now
is unbelievable
I go back even if it's just a Pilates class
and I leave there and I'm like
full of energy back with Gigi
and I've just got to springing my step
and I'm like that is not selfish
that is healthy
and I think it's you know
mums don't get enough credit
like we can't do it all the time
it's hard work and we do do it
or we try and we just need a minute.
Just give us a bit of minute.
And if that's like even having a hot shower
or going to the toilet about a child going,
Mom, you know, them little things are important.
Just having a girl like last night,
me and some of the school moms went for an Indian on the high street
and it was like, unbelievable.
I just needed that girl chat.
I just needed that minute to just have my time.
Just be me, just be Georgia.
And it's so healthy.
I've really, really learnt that.
I need to have them.
They're not even selfie.
they're they need them yes I need them and I've learned that I feel comfortable saying that now
but I deserve them you do you do yeah one thing that I find very intriguing about you is that
so you're part of a hit not just one but two hit television shows yeah which a lot of people
I think don't give enough credit to the talent on those shows like what makes those shows pop
production is important all that but the talent
Yeah.
And for someone to want to tune in to see you night after night or week after week, there's
something, there's some X factor, right?
But then you went and you duplicated it with your book because you have a best-selling
book.
I know.
I can't believe you.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
But to achieve that, that's also, there's significant interest.
You have a very strong social media following, very high engagement.
People are interested in tuning in you.
Yeah.
this conversation that I really got it.
I think it's because you are truly so authentic.
You're very forthcoming and you're unapologetic in your truth.
So then, last question for you, everyone gets this.
When you think back to all the incredible conversations you've had throughout your life,
which one stands out to you as the most memorable?
So who was it with?
And what did you learn?
That's a really good question, actually.
I think, you know, maybe with my parents, maybe with my parents telling me, because they're always,
they was always actually my biggest believers, and you always think at some, you're just my parents,
you're going to say that, but they always said you're so good of people and you're so, just be yourself.
And actually, like, why didn't I listen?
I should just just just listen.
I don't know why I just gave myself so much, you know, I just had so much self-depth.
out but I shouldn't have shouldn't have done that.
Should just listen to them when they said that to me.
I mean, I've learned it now. It's took a long time.
Yeah, yeah.
The mom's always right.
I'll tell you what.
I feel like 99.9% of their time, you know, they're right.
We just don't want to listen.
No, they're just, yeah.
Yeah.
You know, my mother-in-law, Dr. Jean Caves, I love her.
During, when we had our second child, people were asking,
Well, how long are you going to keep them in diapers?
Or here's nappies, right?
How long are you going to keep them in nappies?
And it started to get to me.
And she saw that it got to me.
And she said, look, how many 10, 15-year-old, 18-year-olds do you see walking around here with diapers?
I said, none.
She said, there you go.
Oh, no.
She said, you know, you're on your own time scale.
On your own journey.
Your own journey, absolutely.
And you know what's really funny is that?
because when, you know, when you have a baby, everyone says to you, you're going to breastfeed.
Are your breastfeed?
Do you want breastfeed?
Brody had it a lot and I was like, no.
And I always said no.
And just because I didn't want to.
And I can openly say that out loud now and I don't feel bad about it because at the end of day, it's my body, my baby, my journey and it's up to me.
However I think suitable for my family, I'm going to do it.
And what's best for me and my little family in the bottle was best for me.
And my best friend's breastfed, that's best for them.
And back then, the pressure, I would never say that aloud, but now I'm fully will.
Because I think it's your baby, your body, you know best.
And I remember thinking, I've said to someone, hang on a minute,
when we're in our 30s and there's 20 of us in a room,
how are you going to tell me who's been breastfed and who's been Botford?
And who cares?
We're all alive.
As long as you're keeping that baby alive, it doesn't matter.
You just trust yourself.
And I'm so strong about it because I'm like, no, it's my decision.
It's my baby and it's my body and it's my rules.
Yeah.
You know, that's how you said, I'm so strong about that now.
Yeah.
That to me is the story of your life.
Yeah, it is, isn't it?
Is that you were someone as a little girl who liked to talk.
Yeah.
But you could argue you truly didn't have a voice.
No.
Even through Tawi early on, you like to talk, but you deflected, right?
Yes.
But through these life experiences, especially as of late, the last.
few years, you could see that you've found your voice. Yeah. And now not only do you talk,
but you talk with your voice. Oh, my voice, yeah. Yes. And I think that's beautiful.
Yeah, it is actually, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of self-belief now. Yes. Just a bit more
confident. Self-belief, there's courage. Yeah. Right. You have it all. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a journey.
It has been. It has been. This has been lovely. Georgia, thank you so much.
Thank you. I've learned so much about you. I've learned about myself.
I feel like I've really learned about it.
Because when you map it out,
you know, oh, actually, I've done a good job, you know.
Yes.
Yeah.
And you have.
Georgia.
Sweet Georgia.
You know, I have to say this about Georgia.
Georgia truly has the X factor.
And that's the reason why she was able to help make Taui what it was.
She's able to express herself in a way,
that truly makes you want to express yourself.
You know, she talked about being the agony aunt.
And she was one of the first guests that we've had
where I almost wanted to open up, to share with her,
get her opinion.
What do you think about this, Georgia?
She's someone who you just want to have in your corner.
And she appears to be an incredible shoulder to lean on.
Her level of emotive description was very powerful.
And you could see that journey of,
it really began with postnatal depression
after having Brody.
But I will say from having gone through a miscarriage
with Jill that I cannot fathom the decision
that Georgia had to make.
That will change anyone.
And it's not only changed her, but you can argue, and she said it, is that she's now become better as a result.
Georgia said it.
If Tommy had not said something, she doesn't know what would have happened because it was one of the darkest places she's ever been.
You know, I think that this podcast is demonstrating that hard conversations change lives.
And that's what Tommy did.
And thank goodness.
that he did that.
