We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson - Pete Wicks On Male Loneliness "I Don't Feel Like I’m Enough”

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

In honour of Loneliness Awareness Week 2026, we explore loneliness, grief and men’s mental health through Pete Wicks’ honest conversation with Paul. Pete opens up about being an “outgoing loner,” losing his nan, learning to accept help, and the private battles people often hide behind a public image. This episode looks at why loneliness can still exist when you’re surrounded by people, and why admitting you need support can be the first step towards finding peace. Remember you're not alone. If you're looking for support, we’ve included links to resources below: Samaritans: https://linkly.link/2kE85 MIND: https://linkly.link/2dx8b CALM: https://linkly.link/2dx8H (00:00) Intro (00:32) Paul and Pete Talk About the Loneliness Epidemic Among Men (04:38) What's on Pete's Horizon? (06:43) What Made Pete Realise He Needed Help? (11:20) The Loss of Pete's Grandmother and Its Effect on Him (14:01) Paul Shares His Affirmations for Pete Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Great news. The federal EV rebate is back. Eligible customers get up to $5,000 with the federal EVAP rebate on select 2027-volt and 2026 Equinox EV models. Visit your local Chevrolet dealer today for more details. Welcome to We're Talking. This Loneliness Awareness Week, we're joined by Pete Wicks to talk about the loneliness so many men carry. Pete opens up about being an outgoing loner and how losing his nan forced him to confront the pain he. had spent years shutting down. You know, we're in a day and age, and I've heard you speak about this, right about this,

where we are in a loneliness epidemic, in particular men. You know, in the research I was doing for this is, you have 27 percent of men say they have no close friends, right? You have many men saying that they have no one that they feel as if they can turn to to to support them. So, and what's interesting is that you have those stats. Then you have Pete Wicks over here who has said that he, you are, what, an outgoing loaner? Is that it?

An outgoing loner. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, but yet you still have the friendship circles. Yeah. And that's critically important, I think, to our success and our mental health. Yeah, massively, there's the peat that is on TV, which is still Pete, and it's still me.

I've always done everything as me, right, wrong, or whatever else. But then there's the very private me that my friends know and the people who know me, not on a camera, no. And that is, I mean, really, the difference between the difference between the very, the difference between those two people despite the fact that they're kind of the same is that the one that is off-screen is softer shit. But the impression that I gave across, well, I was, you know, pretty hard, miserable. It couldn't really affect me type thing because it became a lot easier for people to hate that person than it did for people to hate the kind of real me that was a bit more vulnerable.

So the real peat is vulnerable. Fucker. Yeah. Yeah. Real Pete is vulnerable. You know, I wrote the book last, year and that was kind of a cathartic experience for me but it wasn't a self-help book and it wasn't giving advice to people because I don't know what I'm fucking talking about but it's my experiences that are maybe relatable to people and the amount of people that messaged me just saying it helped because someone else could explain how I feel and all I did was explain how I feel I I tried to put because I think that's the biggest problem with men is that we we feel things and it's not just men, it's not gender-specific, but I think men probably struggle more with it,

is that we feel things, but we don't really understand why we feel it, or how we can look past that, so we tend to just bury stuff, we don't want to talk to anyone about it, we don't really want to do anything about it and just hope it goes away. And when it doesn't go to the way, it becomes a fucking huge problem, right? Actually, if you dealt with it, you know, in bite-sized pieces, we may not have got to a point where, you know, suicide rates in the UK are fucking astronomical, right? Number one source of death for men under the age of 50, suicide. And what a horrific and sad statistic that is, number one, is people taking their own life, right?

That's not through disease, that's people taking their own life. And, you know, with my mum and everything else, it's a touchy subject for me. And I don't know what the answer to mental health is. I don't think, you know, a lot of people do because there isn't a one-size-fits-all because we all think differently, we all feel differently, and mental health can be such a lonely place. Your head can become a prison.

But there are so many different things out there. It's about finding the right thing for you. You know, people talk about therapy, and that is amazing. Therapy has helped so many people that I know. But it doesn't always work for everyone, right? But there are other different things that you can look at. And I think the one thing people need to do before they start working themselves

is work out that they do need help and admit that they need help. And I never did that. I said, I'll do everything on my own. I do everything on my own. And when I lost my nan, I realized I needed help. And I still don't know what that is, but I've accepted the fact that I need something because otherwise things are going to get bad. And I think that's the first thing that people have to start doing.

And, you know, the book wasn't about telling people what to do. He was about going, take a minute and work out. Do you need help? And if you do, where can you get it? Yes. You know, yes. I kind of have felt lost for years, probably 20 years, of doing this and doing my best at everything I can,

but not knowing really what I'm doing or where I'm doing it or why I'm doing it or not really understand. and in everything and being confused. One thing I would really love to have is a bit of peace of mind. And I think without peace of mind, it's a struggle. Yes. So that's what the horizon is for me

is finding peace of mind, whatever that looks like, but doing it my way, yes. As long as you're doing the work and you're surrounding yourself with people who love you, then it's going to happen for you. It's no doubt, it will. It's just a matter of time.

and everyone's time horizon is different on this. One thing that that's always struck me about you is that you are vulnerable, I think, with people that you respect. And what I truly appreciated about this conversation, and it's interesting because I've seen you in so many different lights where you're super comical. Like, people don't realize how funny you are.

Like, you're mad funny, you know. super comical. Sometimes you could be very like you're quick, witted as well. You're super sharp. So you're very good at, you know, like back in the day we, yeah, we were deflecting, right? Or we call them like different jokes, right? But you're great at all these things. But what I have seen here today is I think that, at least from me, the Pete that I want to see more of. and this is you being honest and open about all of these places of your life and saying, you know what, I don't have it all figured out. And I'm still going through the pain, right?

But I do need help. But I want to go back because you just said something that I have not heard you say. Maybe you have heard this. You said this before. So you're saying that when you're an antipas, that's when you realized I do need help. And I'm going to connect it back to an early part of the conversation. is why did you realize you need to help? Because I have never felt so alone.

And I think I probably spent, you know, a lot of my life being surrounded by people, is surrounded by people does not mean you're not lonely. Right. But the one thing that I could rely on, and the one thing that was a safety net for me was my nan. Right. And then when that's kind of,

when you have kind of the rug pulled from underneath you are, you just laid on the bed floor. And it's, it just made me think that even the reliance that I had on her being a safety net, I have to be my own safety net at some point. But also I have to allow other people to help me. Because I think initially when she died, I went straight into the shutdown. And I don't think I've grieved or processed it still because I shut down because I needed to. And, you know, even over the past,

couple of months, I'm probably sadder than I ever have been about it. But that's because I'm starting to open up rather than just shutting down. And a lot of that has come down to me changing the way I look at things and becoming more vulnerable. And actually the more vulnerable become, the more you open yourself up to the feelings that you've repressed for quite some time. And I, you know, it's tough because, you know, people lose grandparents. You know, one thing I fucking hate is peaties about anything. It's not the worst thing in the world to happen to, you know, anyone, but it's the worst thing in the world that's ever happened to me.

So, you know, there isn't one way of dealing with grief. Grief is a completely unique experience for everyone. And I don't think I've grieved or processed it properly. But I am starting to now, you know, three Hodges on. And that's a very weird feeling. But I think that's because I'm in a better position now than it was three years ago to be able to deal with it

in a way that is not going to be so detrimental as what it would have been three years ago. I protected myself. And now I'm stronger than I was then. And I would argue you probably have more people around you now offering to help. Yeah, I mean, I've been so fortunate to have amazing people around me that have always offered help and I've always batted them away. And that's a really selfish thing to do.

But I think it was a way of defending myself from actually having emotions. Because without emotions and feeling numb seemed like a safer bet. And actually, all you're doing is ostracizing yourself from the people that love you and you're deflecting away people's love and how are you ever going to feel loved if you don't allow it in? If you don't allow it in. You know, it's also interesting about not feeling enough or having low self-worth, which is not feeling enough,

is that what we end up doing is we end up then becoming the perfectionist. We end up becoming the people-pleaser. We end up doing all of these things. And you know why we do it. You know why we do it? Because we get the validation from the public.

And it's a bit of a charade that we play with the public because we say, look how immaculately dressed I am. So therefore, don't look inside. Because what's outside is good. You know, look at me

on all these television shows doing all this, right? Look how I help. But don't look inside. Just don't look inside. And I think the beauty is, is you're saying, you know what, you can look inside now

or you can begin to. Yeah, you can have a snake peg. Have a sneak peek. Yeah, a sneak peek. Now, in the car actually coming over here, I was talking to my guys and I was like, what I find so, what I'm so sad about is that when you have someone

who's always been your safety zone and they're no longer there for you, then who do you think you have? Think you have no one. So you become even more self-reliant. And if you're someone who's already started self-reliant, and this is you, right? And self-reliant.

Then what does that do to your relationships? What does that do to your lifestyle? And I have some thoughts around this. But throughout this Megan, the press, the press saying that he's, you wrote it in your book, all these things. He's this, this, this, that, right? It feels like your nan was that was the person who you would always go back to. Yeah, 100%.

And she knew that you were enough. She knew that you were enough. This is the part that I wanted to get to is that even at this point where you sit on the cat, do you feel like you were enough? No. Why? I think I am, since I lost my nan, I have referred. reflected a lot on all different parts of my life.

And I think part part of the reason for doing that is because I felt like I was stagnated in a position where I was still lost and I was still confused. And I've been with, you know, since I was probably 12 for all sorts of difference reasons, which is why I've done so many different things and whatever else. And actually it got to the point where I thought when I lost my nan, I don't, I have no one. it's just going to be me and I don't want that. And part and parcel of doing the book and kind of where I am now is the fact that I don't feel like I'm enough. And it's about understanding why I don't feel like I'm enough and kind of understanding myself better and kind of trying to work that out. And I still haven't managed to do that.

I still haven't managed to work out why I feel that way. And I still haven't managed to work out what will make me feel. like I ever am. But let's see, it's a process. It's a process that, you know, I'm kind of in the middle of, but I've done so many things wrong and I've let so many people down. But I don't know how to make that better. Saru.

Yeah. I have something that I believe can help you. I don't know if I've ever written a letter to anyone outside of my wife. I have this letter. and the top part is for you to read on another occasion. But I want you to read this letter, the bottom piece of it. Okay. It was ready to now, yes.

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Only in theaters Friday. Tickets available now. You want me to read that button, but yes. I honor her by being kind to myself when I fall short. Patient as I grow and accepting of who I am with all my flaws. In this way, I keep her love alive. I am enough just as I am.

Do you know what this is? is. The reason why I wrote this for you is because your nan loved you regardless. This is what you said. She loved you regardless. It didn't matter the success. It didn't matter the headline. It didn't matter what people said. She loved you because of you. And in particular, what I've noticed about you. And I think that we all need to, as just human beings, we need to talk more about how we feel about others. But in particular, when we talk about masculinity today, we have to talk more about men expressing their emotions to each other. And one thing that I do want to say, I want to make sure that this is loud and clear is that I love you. I truly love you.

And I've observed you for so many years. and I see that what you do for everyone else is that you are kind to everyone. You are supportive with everyone and you are patient with everyone, with the exception of one person. You are kind, you are supportive, and you are patient for everyone but who? Hey, I see people, the crew, on some of these reality shows, right, that we've done together. And I, remember, we were in Dominican Republic and I bought you like 50 shots. Yeah.

Right. I think we drank half of them. Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. It was the one knot that you said to me that you were going to drink. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

50 shots. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you did drink. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We did. And I remember looking around because I'm super people watcher. I'm looking around. I'm like, I wonder what is it about this guy, Pete? What is it? What do people love about him? And it is because that, you know, you are supportive, kind, and patient, regardless of the person's class, of their race, of their ethnicity, of their gender, you are always that person. And that's what people love about you. That's what I love about you. And so what I think about you. And so when I think about, up your nand what she loved about you. And she saw that early.

She saw that before everyone else. And so how could you honor her? One way is the route that you're talking about. And that is I need to figure out why I didn't do all these things in the past. I say, screw that. I say instead, just say every day I'm going to be patient, supportive, and kind to myself. And if you do that, that's honoring her to the highest. And that is what is going to allow you to be able to move from a place of not feeling enough or worthy to a place of, you know what, I am enough.

So this is an affirmation that I would ask for you to do every day for the next 30 days, minimum. And it's hard to do this. I've done this exact thing. It's very hard. You could do it because I know you're an overachiever, so you could do it all the way up to 90 days. But when you do this, what you do is you begin to literally reprogram yourself. Because a question I have, and this is hard for me to ask it because I believe I know the answer,

but I think we need to start at this place is that today, are you happy? No. Okay. I don't feel like you are either, right? You're pleasant, right? You come, you smile, right? But are you happy? I don't know if, I don't believe you are.

You're right, you're not. But where does happiness come from? There's all types of formulas around happiness, but most people say it's a 40, 10, 50 rule, right? 40 of it is genetic. So I'm Jamaican. Jamaicans are not happy. So even though everyone, you always see the Jamaican smiling?

No, go to Kingston. You'll see we're not happy. So it's like, but, but, but, but you, so 40% of it is, is genetic. 10% of it is circumstantial. It's like, okay, do you, do I have money in, in my account, you know, do, am I going home to sleep in a house? Like, you know, do I have those things? Do I have relatively have health?

That's the 10%. But the 50%, the greatest percentage is what we control. And how we control that is by doing the work and this is the work, these exercises to help us to understand and appreciate who we are and why we are. And so this for me is critically, critically important for you. Critically important. I have never done anything like that before. Never done affirmations or anything like that.

But I said true at the start of this, I would be honest with you and do it 100. And for the first time in my life, And I think you know if I say I'm going to do saying, I'll do it. Yes. Then I will do that. Yes. I will do that.

Yes. I don't know what, you know, I'm quite skeptical about a lot of things. As you know. But I will do that because I trust you. And, you know, you said it to me. And, you know, without this becoming some sort of weird loving, I love you as a person as well, you know, over the past however many years that we've kind of known each other, but you've always been someone that I've always felt easy or found it easy to talk to for different reasons. And people saw little bits on celebs go dating and then

then I can see us sitting here and of course you've nearly made me cry because you're a fucking prick. But aside from that, we've spoken many times off camera. And so I will do that for you. But I will do that for myself. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. All right. I feel it. And if you want to hear the full unfiltered stories from today's guest, you can check them out on the We Need to Talk page. Drop a like, leave a comment, and hit subscribe. See you next week.