We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson - The Conversations That Could Save A Life: We’re Talking Suicide Prevention

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

TW: This episode discusses suicide and mental health. Nadiya Hussain and Tyler West open up about their experiences with mental health, from childhood trauma, bullying and the pressure of identity to depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Nadiya opens up about the bullying she experienced throughout her childhood, how it shaped her relationship with her identity, self-worth and trust, and the impact of growing up in a home where difficult emotions were rarely spoken about. She also reflects on her faith, motherhood and the importance of creating a space where her children can talk openly about their feelings and mental health. Tyler shares the life-changing trauma of witnessing a murder at 14, the PTSD that followed and how keeping it all inside eventually led to a suicide attempt. He reflects on finding his voice, the importance of talking about what we’re going through, and how the things that have broken us can sometimes become our greatest strength. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. We’ve included support charities below: Samaritans: https://g2ul0.app.link/xghDmmYV4Wb Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM): https://g2ul0.app.link/npaQKXUV4Wb (00:00) Intro (00:35) Nadiya Opens Up About Being Bullied at School (03:15) How Bullying Impacted Nadiya's Mental Health (04:23) Nadiya Opens Up About Her Suicide Attempt and What Saved Her (07:40) Nadiya's Lifelong Struggle With Anxiety and the Importance of Speaking Out (13:26) Tyler Shares the Traumatic Event He Witnessed as a Child (18:41) How Childhood Trauma Impacted Tyler's Mental Health (21:28) Tyler Opens Up About His Suicide Attempt and What Saved Him Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This family is on the brink of civil war. On September 18th, Mobland, the hit original series is back on Paramount Plus. We are the Harrogans. Don't know the yet? And Google us. From the underworld of Guy Ritchie. Do you want to step up the ladder? I want combat dead. Starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan, and Helen Mirren.

Do I have to do everything myself? You want to want! I'll give you a... Mopland. New season hits September 18th on Paramount Plus. Welcome to We're Talking. In this episode, I sit down with Nadia Hussein and Tyler West for an incredibly honest conversation about the experiences we carry from childhood, how they can shape us as adults, and what happens when we keep them to ourselves.

This episode includes discussions of suicidal thoughts and mental health struggles. Please watch with care. What are some of those other incidents that happened while you were a little girl at school? Because there's many that you've talked about. Yeah, I was really badly bullied at school from the age of four to about 17, 18. Oh, wow. Same two boys. And I never told anyone about that.

They would do, they would flush my head down the toilet. They would expose themselves to me. They have tried to, they have tried to, they have tried to, sexually assault me whilst I'm in the street. They have held me down and smashed my fingers into hinges of doors. They have ripped my hair. They'd rip my hair out. It was every single day from the age of about four or five to about 17 or 18.

Every day. Every day. Yeah. I even went to an old girl school, but they were next door in the all-boy school. So they would wait for me to come out. So it's almost like they got their fix. And the reason why they bullied me was because I had the darkest skin in school. They were very fair, rosy-cheeked Pakistani boys.

So they pretty much, you know, they're same sort of culture as me. But they were bright white with rosy pink cheeks and dark black hair. and that's what our community celebrated. Fair skin, men, perfect, tick, tick, they're perfect. And there I was, short, dark-skinned girl with really big curly hair, and they just, they just, that was there, that was the thing. And they bullied me every single day, every single day. So this is one where there was some incidents that happened for me when I was a child,

but sparingly. Okay, yeah. And what's interesting for me is it's not until I've started having these conversations here with we need to talk where I've begun to contemplate on how those incidents have shaped who I've become today. You had this is severe trauma that's happened for an extended period of time in your adolescence when you're trying to figure out who you are and what your identity is. So how do you think that impacted how you saw yourself as a little girl? I think it's made me really, really protective of my feelings. And it's made me really insular. I think it's made me not trust people because I don't trust people easily.

But it's also made me a people pleaser, I think. I just want to make everyone happy because I don't want, like, I don't want negativity and I just like, people pleasing all the time. It's like, as long as everyone's happy, as long as everyone's happy. But that's probably partly to do with the fact that, you know, I grew up in quite a volatile home. You know, my parents always argued. I just wanted everyone to always be happy. We didn't talk about anything bad. It was just always be happy. But it's, yeah, it's also made me really strong. It's also made me a really good mom.

Okay. But as a little girl, how do you think it impacted you? It got so bad that one afternoon, I remember my cousin. They were a little bit older than I was. And we were watching a film. Clearly not for me because

it was like an 18 or something. And somebody had committed suicide. And I was like, oh so that's it so if you commit suicide you're just dead and everything else just stops

so in my head bearing in mind at this age I don't know what death is don't really understand death yes you were how old at this time 10 you're 10 something twigged in my head at 10 that that's what I should do

and this person had taken loads of pills I thought wow those pills lying around everywhere because we didn't have, there was no such thing as a safe cupboard for pills. It was like paracetamol here and blood pressure meds here. So I took out back in the day when you could get 100 paracetamols in a pack. I was like, that'll do.

Took those off the shelf, went upstairs with a big glass of water. I thought, I'll just take as many of those as I can. Because that's what happened. I'll die. And then I don't have to go to school tomorrow. That is how innocent it was. It was if I die, I don't have to go to school. tomorrow. And that's what I did. So I was like, okay. And I was 10, I couldn't swallow pills.

And they were huge. So I was trying to swallow them. And I probably had a liter of water in me at this point. My bladder was bursting. And I was like, right, I'm just going to have to crush them and just chew them. And I think I, so I started to chew them and crush them in my mouth. And then I was just like swallowing them. I was like, this is gross. and I just couldn't do it. I may have got through maybe three or four. Okay. That's it.

Three or four at best. And my dad called us all down because he had something to tell us. So I'll give this a break. I'll go down. So I went downstairs and then he told us that my mom was pregnant with a baby. And then I went upstairs and I kind of packed everything away and I said, okay, well, I'll do it once the baby's born. I really want to meet the baby.

Wow. And then that baby was born. And I fell so in love with him. And he's 30 next month. Look at that. Yeah. Would you say he saved your life? Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. I say that to him all the time. That is one of those where I can see you as this little girl. Yeah. Just saying, I just don't want to be. It wasn't even, I don't want to go to school. that I don't want to go through that pain of those nasty boys.

Yeah. You know? And in that one moment, your brother, who was not yet here, saved you because of your love. Yeah. For him. Yeah. Similar to your grandfather. Yeah.

Who had this love for these children who were not, right? But you had this love for your brother. You know, it hurts me to hear that you had no one to talk to during that time. You know? We can talk about mental health. Yeah. And anxiety because this is something that you have battled for quite a long time. Yeah.

When did anxiety first creep into your life, do you believe? When was that moment where I would say you actually began having panic attacks? I started to have panic attacks at seven or eight. Okay. But I would, yeah, that was quite young. And I used to have them. and then make excuses to not be in a public place, whether that's home, school. And then I would have them in bathrooms or toilets at school or I got into the habit of having them into pillows.

So I would have panic attacks in pillows. So I got really good at hiding them. So maybe six or seven. And for all of us who may not know what a panic attack is, what is it? It manifests itself in lots of different ways. I think it's different for lots of people. But for me, it's really shallow breathing. You can feel your heart in your head.

It races and you can feel your heartbeat. You get really hot, really sweaty. You can struggle to breathe and just tears. I cry and I feel really faint and I feel really faint. So I have to be low down so I don't faint. And I've had panic attacks so bad that I have passed out and then woken up and be like, what's just happened. So that's how they manifest for me. But and I can feel them coming. You know when

they're coming. You have little triggers and sometimes you can just, I can feel it in my chest. Like it's deep. I can feel it as you can feel it there. Like I can feel it there. So I know when it's coming. But as I've gotten older, I've kind of learned to manage them. And another thing, that's huge with my mental health and anxiety is all I've wanted from a really young age is to cure it, to say, I need a cure, I need something to fix me, I need something to fix it. And what I've really come to accept is that there's no fix, there's no quick fix, there's no pill, there's no operation, there's nothing that's going to fix you. You have to, the only way you really can fix it is to learn,

to give yourself the toolbox to manage it. So I have certain ways that I manage my anxiety. And I'm naturally quite a chaotic person, so I kind of hear there and everywhere. And I love routine. And so things like routine, if something goes out of place and I'm like, oh, something's moved back by half an hour,

that would send me into overdrive. And that could cause me to have a panic attack. And letting go of some of that has really helped me to be like, it's all right. It does not matter. The way I describe it is my monster. So I wrote a kid's book many, many years ago describing what anxiety feels like for me. And it's called my monster and me. And it's a monster. And sometimes my monster is so big. It's in my face and I can't do anything. And I found ways of making my monster small. And sometimes the monster's really big and I can't manage.

And sometimes it's kind of medium size and it kind of follows me around and taps me on the shoulder. and sometimes it's teeny tiny and I can just put it in my pocket and I can walk around with it but it doesn't go away and that's how I describe anxiety to children. Okay. And that's been hugely helpful for me educating people and explaining and advocating for those people who don't have voices and saying look this is how, you know,

because a huge part of mental health is conversation and talking to people you trust and love who will take that information and not judge you for and and and and there be no judgment in being honest about how you feel. So I kind of, that's how I kind of describe my mental health is my monster. And like it's very much in my pocket a lot of the time. I see it. There was one interview where I literally saw the, you say, we need to talk.

Yeah. Oh God. Yes. We need to talk more about this, right? This is the key. is the key is of communication. Yes. And what I love is that you have been really, I think,

at the forefront of what I'll call the mental health wave that is begun. And we're nowhere near where we need to be in terms of talking about it. But I felt like you were really at the forefront of beginning to really talk about it. And very, I think in a very noble gesture, you were able to disclose about your anxieties and your panic attacks. One of the best things I learned about having anxiety, apart from the actual needing to talk the bit where we actually talk is vulnerability

because the hardest thing is to be one of the hardest things when you have a mental health illness is to be vulnerable because you don't want to be seen as weak and letting your guard down and saying I'm going to be vulnerable with you is a huge, it's a huge you have to really trust somebody to give somebody that

and all I can do is like The truth is I don't know who I'd be without anxiety. And who I am is someone I'm really proud of. And it's made me a better wife. It's definitely made me a better daughter. It's made me a better mother. It's going to make me an excellent grandma. Oh, yeah.

Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad. I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. and today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll.

So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. Are you open to talk about what you witnessed at 14? Yeah, yeah. So if we go back to the start, it's... So again, on my council estate, it's kind of like, Everyone knows everyone. And then there was like some local alcoholics, right?

So I finished an after school club and I'm coming back off or I'll get off the bus. And I'm coming up and walking up my road and I'm on the phone to my mum because she don't know how to work the TV. And I'm like, mum, listen, I'm going to be back in a second. And it was about, I want to say, like five to eight. Say, for example, I've then by the time I've got up to where my house is, there's these these guys that live opposite having an argument. just literally out in the middle road.

It's just me and them. And then I've like ignored it, gone inside. And I said to my mum, I was like, oh, that those alcoholics are arguing again because that's what happens on the council say. It's always so, so busy. And then I've gone upstairs, dumped my bag in my room, and I was like, oh, I'm just going to see

what this argument's about. I've pulled the blinds up, turned the light off and I'm watching now. It was like a two-on-one argument. One of the two men for a really, really weak punch to the man that was on his own. And the man that was on his own.

Now by this point, my mum's coming up the stairs on the phone to the police. By this point, the man's sort of walking towards my house. So now he's not far. And he's just fallen. He looked like he was on the phone, but he's just falling on his face. And then I'm like, oh, mum, that's like,

that proper fighting. And then all of a sudden the two men have walked closer to the man that was laying in the road. And one of the two men had a 12 inch kitchen knife in his hand. And what he had done was cut and slashed the man's neck open. And the man was holding it and has then fallen onto the ground in the middle of the road. And then the phone call with my mum went on.

It must have been about seven, eight minutes with the police. And in that seven, eight minutes, the man did not stop slashing and stabbing and slashing and stabbing. And it went on and on and on. And I was just frozen. I remember it. Then my mum, naturally, as a nurse, she's like, I've got help. And my mum's got some towels and she's gone to run out there. And then I've seen the two men coming out of the apartment and I've run down.

And I've dragged my mom inside the house. I said, you can't go out there yet. You can't go out there. They've then gone back inside the house and then my mum goes out there and I follow her out and she's got these towels on this man. She's on the phone to the police and she said that, that there's too much blood. There's too much, like he was wearing an England shirt

and it was just, it was white England shirt, it's just covered in red. And I was just see this man and it was like, it didn't feel real, it felt like something from a horror movie. And I was just there laying in front of me and I'm literally as close as we are now. And the police turned up, it was like a big rush, like the police cordoned off the road

and then they went in and arrested the two men. It was tear gas. There was a lot going on. And then I heard a voice at the other end of the road, and it was my brother. Because by the time my mom got off the phone to the police, she had phone my brother. She was so hysterical on the phone to my brother. My brother thought it was me. So then my brother's screaming.

Like at the police, let me up, let me up. It's my brother. And then he's run up the road and looked at this guy and said, oh, thank God. And then came into the house and said, look, Ty, you're all right. And I was on the sofa having a panic attack. I don't remember. from seeing the man laying on the floor to then being on my sofa,

it was the hardest moment of my life without doubt. And it changed my world forever. You know, at 14, you're thinking about what you're processing at 14. You're going through this traumatic experience. As you're watching what's happening, your mother's on the phone. I would imagine that you could not look away. No way. No way.

And it's like, because that's, my mum always says it. She goes, oh, I'm tired. My biggest regret is that I didn't pull you away from that window. I didn't protect you and everything like that. But I was like, that's, that's, that's what I feel about you, you know, not letting you. Why, I know you're a nurse, but I didn't need to let you go out there and be trying to, to say this, man. But that's just who we are. That's just within us.

Yeah, that's who, that's who we are. And, you know, I had no idea the knock-on effect it would have to this day. on my life, you know, from immediately after, I mean, it was really hard. My mom did everything to get us moved from that council estate to just further down the road. And that's what eventually happened. She went to the authorities.

She went to, you know, the council and the police and said, look, I need you to help because my son won't come out of his bedroom for the best part of two years. My life was just, I couldn't. What was going on in your world in the two years from that? certain things and certain habits started to kick in like I for one I couldn't open my

blind every single morning I get out of bed I had to make my bed because I was convinced something bad would happen to me I would couldn't use a knife and fork I couldn't if anything sort of happened in an action movie and it was like anything to do with a knife absolutely not even to this day like Molly my partner Molly she she hides my eyes because she's like you're okay and she checks in on me and I'm like it's still so raw even like I've just come to the conclusion that I will never get that image out of my head. I live with it every single day. I couldn't walk on the same side of the street that happened.

You could see where the blood had, like that part of the street was cleaner than the rest of it because where the blood had been cleared up. There was just a lot. And any time alcohol or drugs were involved in an environment or a setting I was in, I would immediately put my back up. I'm like, I'm convinced somebody's going to die here. So I'm convinced there's going to be a fight. I'm convinced it was like all of this PTSD that I just couldn't get rid of.

Yes. And it turned me into the protector, weirdly. It turned me into the person that I'd be the first to step in and separate people because I wouldn't want it to get to that. To get to what you thought would be the literal demise of someone. So within the two years too is your mother, I would imagine, she's trying. She doesn't know what to do with you, right? But she's trying her best.

What was the relationship like between your mother and your brother during those two years? The thing is, when something significant like that happens, it's a ripple effect, right? It's like dropping a stone into a pond. That's all the little ripple effects outside. And it doesn't just affect the man that's getting stabbed and the families and the victims or anything like that. It affects the community around it. And there's some things that then I can't unsee that I have to live with every single day. But that man over there, you know, I got so many questions for him.

So many questions for the man that did it. Like, do you, do you even remember it? Because he was, he was high and drunk at the time. And it was all to do over a 20 pound bag of cocaine. And that's crazy that, you know, life can just be gone in an instant. Yes. And that, yeah, it was, my relationship with Lou and Mom's relationship with Lou during that time with stuff, because I didn't want to talk about anything.

I, my sort of reaction to it all was, and I can't talk about it. Whereas my mum just wanted to keep talking about every detail and go over it and over it. And that was probably the worst decision I ever made, like not talking about it. Wasn't I talking about it? Yeah. Why so? Because it built up a lot, a lot, a lot. Like it was just like sweeping it under the carpet to the point that then it was unavoidable.

And then it all came out at once in so many different ways to the point that, yeah, I track him myself. Like, it was tough. It was really tough, man. You tried to take your life? I went, there was one night, my mum doesn't even know this. There was one night,

I must have been like, and this is years after it now, this is years after the two years. And I've gone, in the middle of the night, I've had this, like, this, the thoughts, it comes over me like a cloud, right?

And the thoughts come over me and then I'm like, I can't stop thinking, about it and I was there in the middle of the night and I got out of bed and I went for a walk. I even was like going for a break up at the time and stuff like that. It was like a really just wild time and I went for a walk down the A217 in Sutton. Okay. And there's a bridge that goes across and it would usually be whenever I tried to get into my fitness bag and gone runs that would be the rum route. And there's this bridge that goes across and I can't

remember how long I was out on this bridge for. I can't remember. My phone was dead. Everything it was out. It must have been about half four or five in the month. morning and I didn't know what I was going to do but I felt so low and I felt like well I can't stop thinking about it. I just want to switch it off for a second and just a second but then that second and then I was like overthinking about that thought process and I'm like well you're here now and then like what you're going to how you're going to explain it how you're going to bounce back from this how are you ever going to come to terms with it and it's like this overthinking overthinking effect and there was a no cars out at that time and then there was just one car that

came past, right? And the car beat. And then I was like, you're not going to do this. I was like, you can't? I was like, no way, can you? I went back home, I got into bed, and I woke up. And I was like, morning, mom. I just went about my day.

And it's kind of that low moment right there. I always think about the things that have happened in my past from growing up and feeding, like a real big struggle with abandonment, seeing lives just vanish in front of me. Yes. I see all of these things and I think about those low moments and they push me to where I go today.

Like they keep me going further. They're actually my biggest strength. And my biggest strength comes about from talking about things. Yes. But at that point, it sounds like you were not, to your point earlier, you were not talking about these things, but you never mentioned that incident to your mother.

Did you ever mention that to anyone else? I spoke to Molly about it now so it's more so now because I'm okay and you don't want to burden people you don't want to worry them whereas now

I'm like yeah man I'm fighting for it I'm still working it out I'm still still you know like powering through everybody always looks at you and goes oh yeah Ty you're the confident one you're doing that

or you're strictly swear down yeah it was great but I'm still like with inside I've still with that 14 year old saying that's like shook, like absolutely shook. But, you know, it's each day that goes past every hour that goes past, it's all things moving forward. Yes.

And moving, not necessarily moving away from it because it's always there, but another day of dealing with it better. Another day of being better. Yes. Isn't that something how we always say, and you just said it, that we don't want to burden our loved ones. So therefore we just hold it. But you would want all your loved ones to tell you. tell you. Yeah, that's insane. And if you want to hear the full unfiltered stories from today's guest, you can check them out on the We Need to Talk page. Drop a like, leave a comment, and hit

subscribe. See you next week. I is on the brink of civil war on September 18th. Mobland. The hit original series is back on Paramount Plus. We are the Harrogans. Don't know the Ants? And Google us. From the underworld of Guy Ritchie. Do you want to step up the ladder? I won't calm a dead. Starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan, and Helen Mirren. Do I have to do everything myself?

You want, I want! I'll give you a... Upland. New season hits September 18th on Paramount Plus.