We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson - "The Real Reason I Signed Up!" We're Talking Love Island with Shakira Khan, Maura Higgins and Megan Barton-Hanson

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

With Love Island All Stars on screen, we’re diving into the real story behind the iconic villa life. Shakira Khan, Maura Higgins and Megan Barton-Hanson share the untold truths of their experiences on the show, what it’s really like to enter the villa, the pressure of public scrutiny, and how fame changes everything. From Shakira’s unexpected path to the show, to Maura's bold entrance and Megan’s media battles, this episode takes you behind the sunglasses and slow-motion walks to explore the highs, the lows, and everything in between. We're Talking Love Island This episode includes sensitive topics. If you are affected by anything in this podcast, please find support organisations that can offer support below: CALM: https://g2ul0.app.link/uULaUXcM3Nb MIND: https://g2ul0.app.link/gbuRaxjM3Nb (00:00) Intro (00:41) Shakira Khan Talks About Her Ambitions Pre-Love Island and What Led to Her Joining the Show (17:25) Maura Explains Why She Chose to Do Love Island and Her Mindset Entering the Villa (28:58) Megan Reveals How She Got Onto Love Island and Her Challenges in the Villa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shakira Khan, Megan Barton Hansen, and Mora Higgins join us to share what life in the villa really felt like. The excitement, the pressure, the friendships, and the moments, no camera quite captures. A quick heads up, some of the conversation includes suicidal thoughts, so please take care while watching. Without further ado, today we're talking Love Island. So now, career-wise, though, because of your confidence back, bravado, what are you thinking you'll do? I want to go on Love Island. I'm telling you. No.

And you're saying you, that was the goal. I'm telling you, this is hot. This is hot. Like, Love Island was hot. I had the water bottle. It was popping off. Yeah, this is 2018, right? 2018.

Yeah. This is, uh, was this Carolina? on Flax last year. Molly Mays is Tommy Fury. I remember about Tommy Fury in my GCS English paper. Did you? Like this was, this was the show, yeah?

And my teachers were like, you're going to be prime minister. You'd be going to be a lawyer. Like, that was such a sneaky and so like, you'd be a good lawyer, Shakira. It's like a polite way of saying, you're a bitch. I'm saying, you've got a smart mouth

is you'd be a good liar. Yeah, I got those allegations. And no, I just wanted to do... You, okay, okay, all right. Help me understand. So I know how big it was. A matter of fact, that was the year I came to the UK. So I remember Love Island was everywhere.

I watched Love Island that first year and I was like, wow, this is... It was big. Everyone's talking about Love Island. It was huge. So I understand the popularity of the show. And then also what then the catapult and what it does. What it did. not all of the members of the contributors.

The big stars. But help me understand why you, who could be the prime minister, decided that that was your number one goal. I loved the way it opened up so many opportunities for them. Molly May was doing YouTube. I loved that. Like YouTube was huge. I'd grown up on Zuella.

and this girl is here showing bath balls and stuff she's getting all these millions of views and there's challenges going on in YouTube and social media is so fun and it's so new at this point and I'm like what? This is a career you can do this as a career I want to do that I want to be a YouTuber

we'd done like child modelling and acting and stuff I was five foot one like that was never going to run I was like okay right not going to be a model but I could be an an influencer yes let's do you this this is good um i just didn't want to do i just wasn't inclined to do the academics anymore yeah i didn't want to do the writing i wanted to be posting vlogs and videos and doing the fun

stuff that everyone was doing so for all of the millennial the older millennials and the gen xers even the baby boomers who are watching this they will have a hard time i think reconciling this in their mind. Yeah. And if you can help them. My mom did. Yeah. Yeah. Your mom is this. Is so, because YouTuber as a career, I remember when my son was going from year 60 or seven, that was the number one career goal. Yeah. Was YouTuber. You're looking at what everyone wants to be. People like YouTube or YouTube. Yeah. So what was it, though? Was it the money that was coming from YouTubers? Was it the social status? What was it that was driving you? Everything.

At all. Okay. Them as an N-Sail. That was what you wanted to be. Like, you see them, they had these big flashy mansions and stuff, like Team 10 in LA. I remember Jake Paul and Morgan Paul when they were first coming up. It was like, whoa, obviously looking back now, it's all stunning, but you're like, whoa, look at these people. They're so rich. They have such good lives. He was like a fast track to like this amazing life. Like, yeah, that's what I wanted to do.

She's so stupid. Sounds so stupid. I. And I got voted most likely to go to Love Island. Are you serious? Yeah. There was a vote in school around. Like, you know, when you do levers?

Yes. It's not stupid at all is. So I was looking at, so obviously you mentioned Molly May, right? When Molly May left, she had a 500,000 pound brand deal with pretty little thing. She went on to become the creative director. And PLT was hot. Oh yeah. It was. It was hot. She's going on to do documentaries, et cetera, did a brand deal with L'Oreal.

Right? I remember watching it all. I was like, whoa, she's so cool. Look at this. I can see when she left, the rumor is that she did a one million pound fashion deal. Oh, Polly. Oh, Polly. Yeah, look at that. So it's one of those where it is a fast track. You could argue it is one of the fastest tracks to that level of status, that level of income. Absolutely. Okay. Absolutely. And there was a lot of fit boys on there.

There's a lot of fit boys on there. So that's the bonus. Yeah. There was a lot of fit boys. You know, like, all these celebrity crushes stopped being celebrity crushes and it started being like, oh, so-and-so from Love Island is like my celeb crush. Yes. These were the guys. This is the best the UK had to offer on this show.

That's what everyone would be obsessed with. That is. That is. You're absolutely right. You know, when, so in matchmaking, a lot of matchmakers, what they'll do is they'll take a client in and say, who's your celebrity crush. And I have lots of friends who are matchmakers in the UK and in the US. And you're right. It was always a list actors or actresses.

And then it shifted to Love Islanders. Yes. So then I have to. ask, how in the world then do you get to Love Island? My friend, who's an influencer, went to an ITV event. And it was May last year, which is, by the way, casting's done by that point.

Yes. And she goes, oh, Mike Spencer, the big boss, the big boss at Love Island, he was doing like a talk on an ITV panel. And she just walks up to him after and goes, he's still casting for Love Island She has no idea who this guy is like He's the big dog

Are you still casting for Love Island I've got someone who'd be perfect for her Like she's nothing like you've ever had before And he's like okay show me her And he's like brilliant Send me your details The day after they rung me up Wow

So this is this is last year This is May You're talking about this is May last year Of 2024 When casting is pretty much done much done. Yes. They ring me up. It's the first of me. Hi you. Do you want to come an audition for Love Island tomorrow? In London, you have to take the day off work come down. Go down, audition. Kirsten producers like, who on earth is this girl? And what is the audition?

You just go and sit and you talk. They ask you questions about your dating life and funny stories and what you like and da-da-da-da-da-da. And you go in and you get all dolled over and you sit there and you talk. And I was just being myself. And I just said to him, listen, if I'm ever going to do it, I'm only going to do it early on. Because I'm never going to leave my job. I've got a good job. I'm not going to leave my job to go in, you know, something like Casar or more. That's a big risk.

It's a big risk, you know, to go in later on. I said, if I'm ever going to do it, I'm going to go in in the first week and that's that. And they're like, okay. So everything's wrapped. They've got their OG cast. Everyone's sorted by them. Then they rung me up in January, this year and said, they loved you last year.

And I'm thinking, he's like, lying, you know, doing all that palava again. They loved you last year's top of our list. Please, will you audition? And this time I have to do the full thing. So I had to do a video, a form,

Zoom call, like the full process. Then, after I'd passed all that, then you go and meet the casting producer, and this time I met, I went into a second room and the three exec producers were there. And I

to do another audition. And I was like, which is sitting, talking, responding to them? Yeah, just chatting. And then rest was history. So how quickly thereafter did you get a message back saying

your aunt? I didn't. I went out on a whim. So I did my press day. Did my press day. This is like the final steps where you're going to do all your intros like, hi, I'm secure ready,

all that. pularava and you still don't know at this point they could have like 100 people doing this i don't know it's quite select whoever does the press day whatever amount it's quite select you still don't know if you're going on and famous words you'll have heard it a lot you're not on the show till you're on the show you're not in the villa till you're in the villa that's the famous phrase so now Shakir i didn't know this so you're telling me the love islanders have not said this phrase to you've got it oh no no no no that part i did know but the press day you're telling me the the day that you take the shots.

Yeah. So nothing's confirmed. I didn't know that. No. So you do all of those shots. I'm sure there's lots of people from the UK who have done that press day. And it'll just disappear into oblivion, all that content. My God.

Yeah. Okay. So you went to your press day? I did the press day. And then the execs pulled me for a meeting then and there at the press day and said, you're flying out. 100% confirmed flying out don't mean I'm on the show

but they're flying me out tell you work and I was like this little deliouliu fantasy I've had for years is maybe a reality so I spoke to my boss and I said look this opportunity this doesn't happen for people like me

small girls from a small town in Burnley, Pakistani girls. This doesn't happen. I'm going to do it. Will I still have a job? It's a risk, you know? And he said, go. He said, I'll fire you if you don't do it. It doesn't matter if you're on there for a day, a week.

If you do the whole thing, in two years, five years, you'll always have a job. That's all I needed to hear. What have I got to lose? What did I have to lose? Yes. And this has been a dream. This has been a silly little dream. Yeah, since 15, which is incredible. Even if I'd said it as a flyaway comment, you know, but I always wanted to do it.

Yeah. But now, with that news, how did your parents react? My dad was a super fan on the show. He's watched every series. Different when it's your daughter. And I think they had their reservation. My mum's never liked it. I think she definitely had a perception of what the show was about, like, people having sex on TV, people acting promiscuous and smoking and, you know,

a lot of foul language, blah, blah, blah, blah, bimbos. Like, she thought people who went on there were airheads and there had nothing going for them. That was her perception of the show. She never watched it. She just is what she'd seen from the press or, like, people's opinions about it, more her age, group. Whereas like someone young, it was like, whoa, this is a really cool positive thing. Like, this is so good. She never understood that. And then obviously the year before, my mum would watch that series because I might have been going on that year. So she'd watched

the series. So they had a year to come around to the idea. We had a year to have those conversations because of the last year and talk about what's acceptable, what's not acceptable. And I was trying to explain to it to what I was like, you've really. me, you've raised me. I'm a good kid, I'm a good person. I've got my own morals and values. I would never do anything to disrespect you, I embarrass you, like, I'm never going to go and have sex from national television. I was like, you've got to trust me, like you've raised a good person, you've just got to trust that. I'm going to do what I'm going to do. You just got to trust that. And, you know, there's certain things, like, that were big no-nors for my dad. And yeah,

I respected that, like, in games, like, it's funny for him to watch strangers. If it was his daughter, his firstborn child, his, you know, a little princess, that's very difficult when put the island he fancy most in a sex position, was never going to run. I was never going to do that because that would be mortifying for him. Like, that's embarrassing. And I understand, I think it's lighthearted and funny, and no one, my age would think, or any,

any badly for someone doing that, but he just wouldn't want me to do that. And I respected that. So I told all the boys, don't you dare. Don't even dare do anything. But what's so great is, and I say great because, you know, I'm a parent, right? What it sounds like you had is you had your parents in mind and your objective was not to disrespect. Well, that was one. Yeah.

Not to disrespect them. No matter what. You'd walk from the show before you would disrespect them. Secondly is you called it. for what it is, which I appreciate, because I've talked to, I mean, I have many, many, many friends who have done Love Island. And publicly, it is few that will say, that will acknowledge it's a fast track to influence her world.

Yeah. Right. Let's state the obvious. Please. Like, you've got, you cannot tell me if you've watched the show and, or you've, you've seen the show. Everyone in the UK knows what Love Island is. Even if you've not watched it, you know what it is.

It's a household name, right? I'm pretty sure a 70-year-old person would have heard of Love Island. For someone to consider going on the show and go through that process, you go through site, they ask you to evaluate the pros and cons are going on the show. And at some point in that, you've got to factor in that you're going to have some form of media attention or you're going to become a public figure against your will, Even if you don't want to be famous or an influencer, yeah, you can go back to your normal job.

People are going to know who you are and you're going to have some form of media attention. Like, I know there's people who've been paramedics before and got on and they go back to being a paramedic. It doesn't mean they're not in the sun or they're not in tabloids or if they walk down the street, someone's going to know who they are. That's something you've got to take into consideration. Something I took into consideration.

I don't think it was ever about like, like notoriety or being famous. But I think a big factor for me is that I always will want to be financially stable. I want to have a nuclear family. I never want my kids to want for anything. That's a big factor. Another big factor was representation.

I would have had a lot easier childhood and sense of identity if I might have seen myself in more places in the media and on my Instagram feed and on TV shows that might help insecure little me who didn't have a sense of self

have a role model it's a big thing that's a big no one no Pakistani female has been on that show or South Asian female and not being booted off Shannon so a litigal Shannon Singh she got booted off on the first day

we barely got to see her shame. I was so buzzing that year. I was buzzing. I was buzzing. I think she was Indian. I'll double check that, but she's South Asian. I was buzzing to see someone who looks remotely like me. That's a big factor. Yeah, so you've got to weigh these things up. You're very naive to sit and you're just a liar.

You're just a lie if you're going to sit there and say to me, you didn't know you'd have some form of, opportunity after Love Island. Facts, facts. We all have that dream trip. We've been wishing we could go on. But too often, life or usually price gets in the way. That's why Priceline is here to help you turn your dream trip into reality.

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I was on a revenge strike. Is that why you walked into Love Island so bold? Yeah. Epic walk-in when you came in. I went in there like Guns Blazin. Internally, I was so angry. I was like, I've just been cheated on. I was like, you know, she's going to be troubled.

This one right here is going to be. be in trouble. That's how you felt? All right, let's talk a little behind the scenes because I've been in reality TV for some time. And I know that normally when you have someone who comes in late, they're there to stir things up. Yeah. I was actually meant to be starting line up and they moved me. I think when they got to know me a bit, they were like, oh, send her in a bit later. So you felt as if you were intentionally sent in there to stir things up? I think my first interview I was really drunk. Yeah, I was really drunk and I remember the brief said dress how you would on a first

date and I rocked up in a in a track suit and trainers and I was steaming. Absolutely steaming. I did not care. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Strategically though, because at the end of the day, to stay, it is about audience voting, but it's also about you coupling and being in what feels like or what presents itself as a loving relationship. So does that become part of the strategy? You're in a house, you're in there for X amount of time. You're going to start liking people that you wouldn't normally like. Not to be mean, but you are.

You're in there. I'm pretty sure it'd probably be the same on Big Brother. You're locked in that house. You're not seeing any other men. You're going to be like, oh, why not? you know? So there was a bunch of why not men in there? Well, yeah.

I mean, you're not your dream man, are there? But like, it's the aim of the game. It is, it is. So there was no man in there that was a dream man. They were all why not? Absolutely not. That's fair. Yeah, no.

Could I say, though, what you're speaking is science, actually. It is called the law of proximity and also the law of propinquity. Oh, wow. Where the longer you spend time with someone, especially under stressful situations, the more that you become endeared and connected to them. Yeah. So this is why you drop anyone on an island? Yeah. They're having sex.

They think they're going to fall in love. They think they are in love. But they're not, because the minute they go home, they're going to kill each other. You know? Yes. And this happens on Love Island all the time. Yeah, it's us. That series also happened to be, I'm sure you know, it was the most watched series of all.

all time in the UK, series five of Love Island. What do you think it was, it was, is that when you got into that villa, the public wasn't on your side? No, immediately no. Pierce Morgan said on live TV that you should be dragged out of the hair, the villa by the head of your hair. And I was like, God, I love Pierce Morgan. I loved it.

Oh, you loved it? Oh, yeah, I loved it. I just thought it was hilarious. Oh, my God. And I was branded a predator. I also found it very funny. I was like, I remember Mammy going, that is not funny.

And I was like, that is a bit. Like, I'm not a predator now. Like, but it is funny. But yeah, I was not very well liked. Obviously, I didn't know that. Thank God. No, but I know, I mean, you are without question. And I knew you would be this way before meeting you.

Now, I can fully say, You're incredibly resilient. There's no doubt about that. You're resilient. Yeah. But it still must feel draining in a way to know and feel as if the public is against you or feels a certain way about you. I don't really don't.

Like, it's weird. Like if I go on to the Daily Mail comments, like I do it because I just want to laugh. Okay. I don't really read the comments and go, they don't know me. Sure. They're not my family.

They're not my friends. I don't really care. Interesting. What are in the comments? What do you see? Mostly I see she can't keep a man. That's one of the... Lately, that's one of the biggest ones.

Like, I think it's quite empowering to know when to walk away and not put up with that shit. And I just won't put up with her. And maybe I'll never have a man because of that. I don't feel I need one Do I want one? Yeah

That'd be nice I want a family I'd love a husband I don't have a husband grow But I don't need one I genuinely don't If it doesn't happen I'm absolutely fine

Like I've got enough self-love So I'm like whatever Yes Yes So then take me To the moment that you walk out of Love Island

because that's a moment that a lot of people on these projects look at because their life changes. Do you feel like your life changed when you walked out? Massively. How so?

Very, very hard time in my life. Like, never spoke about it. I was just dropped to the UK. It was like someone just picked me up, dropped me to the UK. And I was in the public. I had nowhere to live. I had no friends, no family, nobody I could trust. And I'm a very, very, like I've done everything by myself. I've been independent my whole life. But that was a lot.

That was scary. Very, very scary. And I remember a lot of times I was fake and a smile. work was so busy I was getting barely any sleep I remember my girlfriend back in Ireland I was in a hotel I don't remember any of this

because she had to fill me in all of a sudden I'm outside my hotel room door is shut behind me and I'm on the phone to her I've no recollection of how I got there where I was what I was doing and she was crying and she was going mora are you okay

and I remember going what the hell is going on she was like no mora you're actually scaring me and she was like where are you and I'm outside the hotel room what is going on and she went

you were asleep I called you you woke up and all you kept saying is I'm not allowed to sleep I can't sleep I can't do this and I was

I was like obviously just not mentally okay I think I was just so overworked. And I just, I'll never forget. I'll never forget. Yeah. How many, like, what was your Instagram following jump?

I think I went in there with like 40,000. I came out with, I don't know, it must have been 2 million maybe. See? I mean. Yeah, it was wild. It's just wild. So, so you have Papp's following you. etc yeah you're probably being booked to do public appearances every week so you feel like you

almost had a breakdown you did have a break i had a breakdown i had a breakdown i yeah i had dark tots very dark thoughts people are probably looking from the outside and saying she like she hit the lottery like i wish i could trade places with her i wish i could be here and you're saying that you were in a very dark place if i turned back if i was to turn back time i would of not taken on as much as I did. I didn't realize this waited so much on you, that period. How dark was it? Pretty dark.

Is there anything, because you've come out the other side? Well, you know, I'm going to go there just because I think this is going to be helpful. When you say pretty dark, what is pretty dark? I didn't want to be here anymore. I thought that was going to be the best thing. I couldn't I couldn't keep I felt like

there was so much expected from me and because I was there on my own I was like I've just nobody to help you know

people say moving house is stressful moving house is very stressful moving country while being thrown into the public eye is terrifying yes in that moment you wanted to take your life.

So this is going to be so helpful to so many people. How did you go from that moment of wanting to take your life to that space a year later talking to your mother and she said that you're back? What were those steps? My girlfriend back in Ireland, she called my agent at the time, behind my back.

She's a queen. Yes. and she basically demanded that I come back to Ireland for a break and I got to go home. I can't remember how long for and I just had my home comforts. You know, my mommy, my family, my best friend. I slept. I remember I shot a Grazie cover magazine.

Okay. And I couldn't believe I got, I was like, I'm shooting a Graziea. Like I was like, oh my God. How? Like that was like, how the hell am I doing this? I don't remember most of that. I do not remember most of it. I was, I was falling asleep on a stool while I was getting my makeup done.

I didn't get to take it in. I didn't get to enjoy it. I was miserable. Like, just, yeah, it's, it's, a lot of it is a blur. Yeah, yeah. It really is. You're, I mean, gosh, God bless your, your friend. What a woman.

She literally could have made the difference between you being here or not. It was just a lot all at one. I feel it. I could feel it. But I tell you, from the outside looking in... You would have never known. Never would have known. I would have thought that was...

You were at the top of the world. I wish I was. I wish. You were invited to Love Island early and you decided not to go on or what happened? So the season before, they wanted me on but as like a cast for a more girl. And I was like, still shy, still too sure to do, but I'm not trying to like go in there and be a bulldozer. I just physically can't. As much I did gain so much confidence, I still am like an introvert.

Like I don't want to be the centre of attention all the time and like go in and like fuck shit up. Oh, no, it's a no, it's too much pressure. Okay. It come knocking. Again, was it your objective to try to use this to then what propel everything, only fans, everything? So I was, I kind of got sick of webcam at this point. So bear in mind, I'd been at the strip club at 19, started. I'm now 24.

Okay. So that's, what's the mouse? Five. Yeah. That's why she's a stripper. It's all good. It's all good. We all have different talents, you know?

Yeah, quick moms is a lot. So, yeah, five years in the sex industry, I'm over, webcaming, dancing, just hearing men's comment to my body at this point. I'm shy. I'll be in there a week, but my following is going to go through the roof, and that means I can charge more for my only fans. Okay. That was all I was there for.

Now, the focus was how can you grow more only fan subscribers? Make money, because I don't really have a job at this point. We're just trying to get the money. Okay, fair. So now, real question here, how many other people do you think on Love Island were there for the money as well? 95%

who would admit it one you right so 95% according to you right are there for the money but because of that because we know the industry

right we know that okay so that means that you have to you know you need the A storyline right so did you go in thinking okay I need to really almost own a character the producers were like

you and Wes have like a little something, why didn't you chat to him? I was like, no, no, no. It's with Laura. Like, I don't want to do that. Like, don't you think it would be kind of iconic though if you did? I was like, yeah, actually. Who would?

So you were thinking, iconic? Yeah. Yes. Yes. But I didn't think, obviously he was a lot younger than me. I was 24, he was 21. And I just thought, he's probably in here for the same sort of reasons I'm in here. To be famous, to be known, to, for me.

whatever he wanted to do it as the angle I didn't know and you couldn't really discuss on camera but I thought we was on the same sort of page. I'd done that and I didn't expect to like catch feelings of him but I did. It's weird. I was in there for eight weeks and yeah I did fall in love which is kind of not annoying. It was beautiful and I love it and I don't regret it but oh I just feel bad then people actually go in there for love and don't find it and there's me just trying to boost the older I'm me fans when I come out like. Like, oh my God, I'm in love.

And you fell in love. Yeah. You fell in love. Do you feel as if, so you love Wes, you feel as if he loved you? I think he did. I think to go through that sort of experience where you're both normal people and then you come out with newfound fame and opportunities and experiences that can be overwhelming and scary.

I remember doing things. And I think if it wasn't for him, the first time we walked through an airport, there were crowds and paps and my hands were shaking and his hands were shaking and i was like oh i'm so glad i'm not doing this on my own yes and i think for that i'll always like treasure like him and then times we had but i think really he was about 21 i think he's an amazing wonderful guy but age and life you know but but when you got out then when you both got out you're you're now in a relationship right you're trying to make you work at the same time your original goal was i mean you're I'm here to make money.

I thought there'd be a bit of backlash for the sex work, the only fans. But it was so much hate. So they call me Muggy Megan on the front page of the sun. And it wasn't just about being a sex worker. It's about my looks and my appearance. And I really was like, it felt to me like public enemy number one. Like everybody hated me. They were like headlads in her sleazy past, this, that.

I mean, at that point, I can't imagine how you're feeling. feeling because you had this plan right and the plan is now just falling apart in in front of you and what and do you feel like the press was playing you're the bad girl west is the good guy yeah but not even about playing me against him it's just me by myself like they don't like to see a woman that's confident goes for what she was i don't think it was very nice for people to see that I was with a really respectable, beautiful man, like E'all before. And then things didn't work out with Eyal. And then I got with Wes.

They thought, oh, who does she think she is? She's just a stripper, like this. Bring her down a few notches, maybe. They don't like a certain of women, I feel. No, this is where I have some experience in this, right? Because, I mean, I've had countless articles, you know, written about me that are not positive. but never to the degree that I've seen articles written about you,

especially like front page, you know. And what I also find interesting is that these were folks who were writing articles not about what you were saying, but about how you looked. It feels like we're right back at you in childhood. So reading those, how are you feeling reading that? Like, awful, honestly.

It was hell. And it was even before my feet had even touched down in the UK was all allowed out after the final party to be in this holding villa. We put on YouTube to play music. What's on there? Megan before and after. How vile she was before. And it's like the picture they had used, I was 16 or so.

I was a child. Yes. So I'm just lucky that, like, God or whoever was just watching. me was like let me give this poor cow a break and let her like at least fall in love for a minute while she's going through this shit storm it was the love that got you through