We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson - The Truth About ADHD In Adults with Mel Robbins, Katie Price and Caity Baser - We're Talking ADHD

Episode Date: October 16, 2025

Katie Price, Mel Robbins, and Caity Baser share their journeys with ADHD and the challenges they’ve faced in navigating relationships, careers, and self-understanding. ADHD is more common than we realise, yet it often goes undiagnosed or misunderstood, especially in adults. From late diagnoses to daily struggles with focus and impulsivity, they discuss how ADHD has shaped their lives and relationships, and how understanding their condition has changed everything. Their stories remind us that ADHD isn’t just a label - it’s a lens through which we can better understand ourselves and others. We’re Talking: ADHD Awareness(00:00) Intro(00:49) Katie Price's ADHD Diagnosis(06:27) How Mel Robbins Manages Her ADHD in Her Marriage(17:33) Love Better Tour Ad(18:32) How Caity Baser's ADHD ManifestsGet Your Tickets to Paul’s Love Better TourBristol - https://g2ul0.app.link/mt5I2RKhrXb Cardiff - https://g2ul0.app.link/5mZIoBNhrXbGlasgow - https://g2ul0.app.link/FMk3N4PhrXbBirmingham - https://g2ul0.app.link/pJIj4XShrXb Manchester - https://g2ul0.app.link/4SQwKDXhrXb Brighton - https://g2ul0.app.link/BO71HSZhrXb London - https://g2ul0.app.link/gm6iB91hrXb Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more at Windows.com slash student offer. While supplies last, ends June 30th, terms at AKA.m.m.S. Hello and welcome to We're Talking. This week we're diving into ADHD, a topic that's come up time and time again on We Need to Talk. It's often misunderstood, especially in adults, and research suggests that fewer than 20% of adults with ADHD actually know they have it. Today, you'll hear from Katie Price, Mel Robbins, and Katie Bacer, who share their experience candidly, from late diagnoses and daily challenges to navigate. relationships and careers with a differently wired brain. This week, we're talking ADHD.

There was a, it was an ADHD diagnosis that you had, but as an adult. Yes. So, my mum kept saying, like she always says, you're always like a rat, even when you sit there, you move around a lot, you're quite like this. You're like erratic behavior and you're impulsing with this. I'm like, I don't know, mum, this is me. And like, she said, there's something not right. about your brain. I said, I don't know, ADHD or something. She goes, well, you need to be tested.

So I went to Harley Street. She found, my mum's quite good at this, finding not just any doctor, like specialists in it all. So when and sort of, it's not cheap either for anyone listening. Because you could do it through NHS enough, but I think it takes ages. I don't know if it's the same. So we went somewhere proper. And they literally just ask you some questions. And you feel when they're looking at you, And then I'm thinking, am I moving too much? You sort of feel a bit, I don't know, it's the aura with them, because you know they're looking at, you're asking questions. And then they send my family forms to fill out.

I'm not allowed to look at it. And they fill out forms from childhood. Ask loads and loads of questions quite a lot. Then I have to do the same. But then I need help because believe it or not, I have to have an appropriate adult with stuff, like if it's caught and stuff, because I can't concentrate.

Oh, really? So to this day, I've been dialed as I have to have an appropriate adult. Did you not know that? I did not know that you still. Yeah, and people would be like, what's that? And I'll tell them in a minute.

So I'm not very good at read. I can read, course I can read. But I'll read it or and then I'll get bored or then I start thinking of something else. So I find it hard to focus on forms and filling out forms. So I filled it all out. And then I remember I was in Thailand

Getting my tattoos done and he rang me And said, so have I got ADHD or what? Like me being me goes Well what do you think Kate? I went well probably nuts like that And he went no you severely got it So then they were saying my mum's obsessed about You need medication for it

Because you were so erratic this and that And I'm like mum medication is not the answer to everything And so they tried me on two. different ADHD meds, it was frightening. Didn't work. They gave me another one and I thought I was going to have a panic attack. My heart's racing, all of this. They said, stop. So they said, the medication's not working with you. Obviously, I've learned how to deal with it yourself. So now I understand about ADHD that your brain is wired different. But I've learned how to deal with, like I say, the impulsiveness, the

answering, the text messages, try not to be erratic, let people talk, listen to people and it's helped a hell of a lot. So how is it that... So the appropriate adult. So I've had a lot of cool stuff, even like the bankruptcy stuff that was all like, so I've been diagnosed

about 18 months ago. I didn't understand anything. And like when I was getting all letters with my breakdown, I didn't really understand everything, so I'd leave it to the side because I didn't understand or read it all. You're like, oh, I'd do it later, I'd put it off, put it off, put it off. It's because I didn't really understand what was going on. So that's how the bankrupt city got into that because I wasn't communicating, wasn't doing anything. So then I've had a lot of court things, serious court things I've had to deal with behind the scenes, which people don't know about.

and they're like, no, because of her diagnosis and the way she needs to have an appropriate adult. Really? So is that the court that said this? Yeah, the courts and the doctors because they essentially do and stuff. So is this for the rest of your life that you'll... With things. So if there's a court thing or say if I get arrested by the police, which I have been, it's on the record that I have to have an appropriate adult in with me. So this is an appropriate... That's something new. No one knows about me. They're going. Explain to people what an appropriate

adult is because people don't, you'll explain it better than me. No, no, no, because I was going to ask, because with the appropriate adult. Yeah, from what you know, tell me what that is. From what I understand is, it is an adult that is an assigned to you. So 18, but I guess the law in the US would be 21, but here it might be 18, but an adult who's assigned to you, and this person is there to help you in making these decisions. Yes. So to ensure that your rights, in essence, are protected.

necessarily a lawyer, but that you understand what it is that's happening. Yeah. It's exactly that. But I had no idea that you had this assigned. Yes. Wow. And now I wish, that's why I said I wish

years ago, people knew that I had this ADHD because it, and the appropriate adult, making decisions with contracts. Exactly. Things like this. Exactly. Exactly.

Your life would have been mapped out different. I mean, I still would have been successful and done what I'd done. But I think it would have helped in so many ways. In so many ways. I agree. I agree with that. That's fasting. I did not know.

Yeah. Now, you've mentioned that you were not diagnosed with ADHD until you were 47. So early in the relationship, you were unaware. No, and it drove him crazy. Yeah. And I was going to ask you this in particular, too, because in the research, I found 80% of adults are unaware. So 80% of adults who have ADHD are unaware that they do. Yes. So how do you believe that that impacted your marriage? Well, first let's talk about how it impacted me. Okay.

So it's very important to understand that women are profoundly underdiagnosed and there's a reason why. When they were studying ADHD as a clinical diagnosis, they only study boys. And so when the diagnosis hit, it was mainly around hyperactivity. Boys and girls, based on the research, experience ADHD at largely the same levels. Girls for decades, like myself, went completely under the radar screen because while we experience the neurological difference because it's like a structural functioning difference in a part of this part of the brain, people, people, mistake it for not being able to pay attention. That's not what it is. It's being able to direct your attention when it requires effort. And it's also being able to shh-sh, outside noise while you're

trying to direct attention. So you can have somebody with ADHD that is able to play a video game like this or read a book for hours. And then you're like, you don't have ADHD. You can focus. Well, that's because I'm interested in this and it doesn't require effort. But if I have to go do this thing over here, I hear everybody talking and I don't have a mechanism in my brain to like, shh, that down. And I don't have a mechanism in the brain to lift up the energy to just do this. And so with boys, there's a lot of fidgeting and this and that. And so there's the hyperactivity piece. With girls, it's the opposite. Most symptoms for girls is you go inward. You get self-critical. You kind of get lost in your thoughts. And so there is what,

What psychologists call the lost generation of women. It's about a 20-decade span of women that are probably, I don't know what ages we would be now, but I'm like right smack dab in the middle of it. Women who had ADHD or some of these other kind of neurological learning style differences, we went undiagnosed. And then anxiety starts to come to the surface. and then you get medicated for anxiety for a long time when the real issue was actually ADHD. Because if you have dyslexia or dysgraphia or executive functioning issues or you've got ADHD or something else that is making it difficult for you to do what's being asked of you to do in school, the number one thing that happens is anxiety and self-criticism. Because you're sitting in a classroom, like, why won't my brain work like everybody else's? And so women underdiagnosed and then medicated with anxiety.

And then I got diagnosed the way that most women do. I had a child, our son, Oakley, who was profoundly struggling in school. And luckily, this was at a moment in our lives where we were starting to be able to pay off the debt. My husband was out of the restaurant business. I was starting to gain traction in the speaking business. And so I could afford to pay, it was $5,000 to pay to have a neuropsychoval done by a psychiatrist at Mass General Brigham in Boston. And sure enough, he had profound dyslexia, profound ADHD, profound disgrathia. The kid could barely write his name.

He's in fourth grade. And yet he's like the most verbal kid on the planet. And he was having severe anxiety. And I was just, we were losing sleep over. We did not know what was wrong. and then we get this diagnosis, and I'm like, wait a minute. I'm sitting with this pediatrician. Shout out Mark Blumenthal.

And I'm like, Mark, this kind of sounds like me. Like, I'm looking at this like test results. Like, this really feels, this sounds like me. And I say, do you think I might have ADHD? And he puts his papers down. And he takes his readers off. And he goes, do I think you have ADHD? Mel, you are the most ADHD parent I know.

I'm like, what are you talking about? What do you mean? What do you mean? He's like, Mel, you are so intelligent. You are so successful. Do you know how many appointments you miss? You are the one parent that we know for sure is going to miss the annual appointment. And then you're going to call in a panic before school because you need the physical done. You need it done yesterday.

You are classic. And I look at him. I'm like, why didn't you tell me? He goes, I'm not your doctor. And so I went and got a formal evaluation. And honest to God, I tried a long, whatever, acting release, Adderall. It was as if I had had terrible vision and all of a sudden put glasses on. Wow. Look at that.

I could not. I felt so bad for little me that I struggled all those years. And then, of course, I look at me. my oldest daughter and I'm like, oh my God, this is you. And I would imagine it's hereditary for the most part. I think so, although Kaboramate says that he also believes that the experience in utero and the state of your mother and the stress that she may be under is also something. Okay. Fair enough.

Yeah. So how did that then, so clearly that's how it impacted you? Yeah. How do you believe that not being diagnosed early in your marriage impacted that? That's a great question. So I think the biggest thing is that it made it possible for Chris and I to embrace the fact that I'm not trying to be an asshole. Okay. That when I blow my nose in a Kleenex and I walk toward the garbage tan, I have the full intention of making it there.

and then when the dog runs in front of me and I stop and pet the dog and I put the Kleenex here and then I stand up and I walk this way, it's not because I'm a slob or I'm trying to be rude to Chris. It's because I literally lost my focus for a second. And there are so many instances where Chris would feel slighted and disrespected because I hadn't, uh, I'd left a bunch of stuff in the sink with the full intention of coming back. You know, like those sorts of things that he would ask me over and over, and I would be really good for a couple days because I'm putting a lot of energy into doing it. And then I just forget it. And it has, it really helped me be more compassionate with myself too because I'd beat myself up. Like, I want, if Chris asked me to do something because, you know, Mel, it would make a huge difference for me if you were on time.

and then I'm on time for a couple days. And then we go back to him sitting in the driveway in his pickup truck while I'm running around trying to learn Spanish and find my shoe and pack a lunch for tomorrow morning. Yes. Which, none of which needs to happen right now. And he and then I'm like, oh my God, what am I doing? I get anything. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to keep you.

I'm sorry about that. I can clean it up quickly. So it gave me something not to use as an excuse, but to basically say this is something I have to work hard to manage. I'm not trying to be a jerk who is not sensitive to the things that would make your life easier. Yeah. You know, what blew me away, and as I was prepping for you, I saw that the divorce rate for couples where at least one has ADHD is twice as high. Really? That doesn't surprise me because I do think what ends up happening,

is that there are so many small things that build up. Like, I'll give you an example. A lot of us order a lot of stuff online. Yes. Cardboard boxes come to the house. Yes. Right? And there are two types of people in a relationship.

There are the people that open up a box, and then they cut the box, and then they flatten the box, and then they put the box where it's supposed to go. And then there are those of us that open the box, and then we leave the box by the door. And then we put another box that's empty on top, like a giant janga puzzle that we intend to come to next. Or we just launch them into the garage or we launch them down the stairs, fully intending to come next.

This was a fight in our household forever. That Chris is Mr. Open up the box, flatten the box, put it where it belongs. He is so disciplined and regimented. I am like, if my brain is like if you put a bunch of mice in a car, cardboard box and we tip it over in a restaurant, that's my brain. And so we, he would get so frustrated with me. And then he finally sat me down. He said, look, when I see the tower of cardboard sitting next to the garage door, it makes me feel like you think I am your maid. It feels so disrespectful. I have asked you over and over and over again to do this. And now it feels like you're literally

creating a cardboard middle finger. And when he explained it like that, I actually want to change because I don't want that habit to make him feel that way. Because we have the tools and we know what we're dealing with, it makes it easier for him to give me a little bit of grace on the days that I forget or I'm running late. But it makes me want to try harder because these. are skills you can build. But what happens if you don't know how to lean in, if you don't know how to talk about, not what the person is doing, but how what they did impacts you, then all of these

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And I know you were diagnosed with ADHD. At what year? Well, I wasn't really diagnosed. I don't think I was. Interesting. Okay. But like I definitely have it. 100%.

Like when I was a kid, I couldn't walk in straight lines. I'd be like this. Come on, Kate, you walk in a stroke? No, life was, life was good. Life was actually quite good. But I think the reason why I struggled so much is because I wanted to break the mold. Is that how you say it? Break the mold?

Yes. Everyone was very happy with just sort of like buzzing about and doing the same thing. But I was like, I want to leave. I want to go to like a big city. I want to be a star. And nobody really got it. And I think that's why where I really struggled. And I had a bit of like a shit time at school as well because I was quite a big character.

and people didn't really get that. I was quite, I'm quite an energetic person. If you couldn't tell. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. And that doesn't really bode well with like schools and exams and things. And I wanted to be a singer in school. And everyone was sort of like, yeah, good luck without me.

Like I'm going to college and I'm studying chemistry. What are you going to study, Katie? I was like music and music production and musical theatre because I want to be a star. And nobody understood it. No one got it. Now they want the guest list though, don't they? I'm sure. I'm sure.

But it sounds like not only did they not understand it, but they didn't believe you could do it. Yeah. They didn't believe I could do it. And honestly, like every lunch or break time, I would be in the music rooms, playing the piano. Because I feel like I felt a lot of things when I was growing up. And I never really knew how to like explain how I was feeling. So I would like go to the music rooms and just sort of like play a chord and be like, oh, that's how I feel. Or like I used to love writing poems or writing stories.

Like I've always been very creative in that sort of sense. That's always been an outlet for me. Okay. When people were pissing me off, I'd go and write a disc track in the music room. This makes sense. Right? But also I'm like blessed that I work in an industry where I can just like, like, ADHD the fuck out. You know what I mean?

I mean. Do whatever I want. Absolutely. Let my brain think about what time is in America and what I'm having for dinner next Tuesday. Yes. Like look at some of these stats, right? So you have, in the UK, 2.6 million people have ADHD. Very.

They have been diagnosed. 2.6. 11.4% of children in the U.S. have ADHD. 7% of children in the UK. But what I find to be, I feel effective is knowing that you have ADHD. Yeah. Opposed to wondering. If you do.

If I do. And why is there a difference? Why is there a difference in me? See, I feel like I've ever. always been really good at just being like, that's how it is for me. That's how it is. That's how it is for me. Like I'm struggling with this because that's how it is for me, you know? I feel like I find security in that. That's just how it is for me. You know why I would suspect that if I already guessed, Katie? Why? All right, this is a guess. But I would guess that because everything

you've told me about your upbringing makes you more in the emotionally avoidant category. Ooh. And if you are emotionally, avoidant, you kind of look at the world as it's me against the world. And I'm self-reliant. Right? And so typically this is what happens. So that would be my guess. That's a great guess. I'd say correct. All right. Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ADHD isn't just a label. It's a lens that helps you understand yourself and the world differently. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might relate. And make sure you're subscribed so you never miss a conversation.

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