We're Here to Help - 100: The Hunk is Drunk
Episode Date: July 29, 2024Jake and Gareth record the 100th episode of We're Here to Help live from Producer Kevin’s new studio! The guys chat with callers about a father’s air conditioning unit, an issue with chic...kens crossing the road and a boyfriend’s obsession with milk. Later, Jake and Gareth follow up with the third caller from episode 96 “Your 4th Favorite Spider-Man.”Thanks to everyone who's listened and called in the show! We really appreciate your support!Want to call in? Email your question to helpfulpod@gmail.com.PATREON (Early Access, Bonus Calls and Q&As): Patreon.com/HereToHelpPodVIDEO: Youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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And this episode is brought to you by Hulu.
We're here to help.
We're here to help.
We're here to help.
We're here to help.
We're here to help.
We're here to help.
And... We are back!
Man.
100.
This is an episode.
This is the official.
Listen, I would say, look, you don't have to be on our Patreon.
That's okay.
I agree.
Well, this is its own celebration.
But if you want to join us for another live stream, I would highly recommend it.
There was a lot going on on the.
There was a lot going on.
Kevin, what do you think?
Where are you at?
Good morning, guys.
Happy 100, everyone.
Kevin.
Kevin got drunk.
Kevin is the best for many reasons, but just what a wild card.
But I will say, Kevin, you did keep it together.
You produced a great show.
It was really fun.
However, he also had a couple moments.
I'll say it.
I mean, I guess we can't spoil it, but there are a couple Hot Mike Bartelt's.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
And you know the other one? the way he names the food.
Yes. Just says a snack name. Yeah, pretty good. But I'm a shark. I mean, I'm sorry to
be a classic. Kevin drank four old fashions. Yeah, fast. Like they were glasses of water
and he just came back from a hike. But also for anybody who's not interested in the Patreon, if you are
interested, the whole thing is up there.
This is cut up.
There's some things from it.
We took another call from another, but also check out on YouTube.
Kevin's new studio.
Yes.
Yeah, it really is.
Cause he put a lot of great work and I think it is a 10 out of 10 total win.
Felt really fun to be in.
It felt really special.
Looks great.
It feels good.
And then after the show, we hung out for a while,
and then Jake, you and I were like,
let's get one more beer.
Well first, we did the Kevin,
we smoked cigars in his backyard.
We smoked a cigar with Kevin.
Talked about the show, talked about the Patreon,
talked about all the comments.
The amount of people commenting was really fun. It was nice to kind of debrief. It really was it felt was great
It was a great night and we're gonna do more stuff like that
So, you know, it's uh, but yeah if you're into that join our patreon
But then so we hung out in Kevin's yard for a while and then Kevin went to bed and Jake you were like
You do one and we were like, alright, let's do one more
So we were walking looking to push the old guys were looking to push the young guy fell asleep
Yes Let's do one more. So we were walking looking to push the old guys were looking to push the young guy fell asleep Yes, yeah, and and so we walked
It reminded us of when we did this in Detroit similarly, but we walked
We were in Detroit doing Harold and Kumar. Yes, you and Evan were writers on that well
Completely uncredited nobody knows that but I'm you wrote a ton on it. We basically rewrote the whole movie
Yeah, sir. Give us credit. Anyway, it's not a big deal
Yeah, no a good friend of ours made sure we had no credit and
And so we one night we went we went like just going looking for a beer and we were like we'll find something we walked
You Evan and I we walked so far. Yes
We walked, you, Evan and I, we walked so far.
Yes.
Um, but then last night you and I were like, let's go.
We'll go to this bar. We were kind of close to your hood.
Yeah.
And we made a wrong turn.
We, how far do you think we actually walked?
I think we walked probably two and a half miles.
I think we probably got closer to three and a half.
Well, cause we got to talking after you left, after we left, we
walked about three miles.
We just started going and we were talking and walking and assuming we were gonna find somewhere and then at one point Jake just goes I don't know where the hell we are. Yeah, I saw a sign that said San Marino something
It was like
I was like we've walked into a whole new community here my guy
We left, California, but we have really quickly
I want to say from all of us
Thank you to everybody who has stuck with us for a hundred the three of us afterwards when we were debriefing
We were honestly just full with a bunch of like man. We can't believe we've done a hundred year one is done
We are now getting ready for year two and it just feels we feel really lucky and we feel really glad we're doing all this as a big community and we appreciate you guys.
Yep, well put.
So, without further ado.
A-dooooo.
Caller who is not the special guest, the main caller, can you please show us.
How much have you been drinking, young man?
When did you start?
We don't need to get into my details.
I think what happened was this. He got stressed. So stressed
that he probably popped a couple white claws early. Is that true?
I know I started drinking when you guys saw but I haven't really eaten
though. So he's eating and he's also the release of having it up
and running stress. It's like he prepared a huge dinner.
You're right. And now people are eating.
Yeah, that's right.
All right, caller, can you introduce yourself, please?
Also, sorry, mom, we're getting too wild.
Yeah, she knows.
She hates this.
She's turned it off.
That's OK.
Name, please.
I think that's me.
I'm Carly.
I'm 31.
Where are you calling from?
I'm calling from New York, but I'm from Vancouver,
which I mentioned because it's relevant to my call.
Great, so Carly, take over.
All right, sure.
So Vancouver, assuming you've been there,
Hollywood North.
Great place.
Beautiful place, but it had a milder climate
when I was growing up.
And of course, climate change has ruined that.
So now it gets so hot in the summer
that air conditioning is a necessity
where it used to be a luxury.
So my problem is with my 75 year old dad
who lives there by himself in an old house
that gets really, really hot.
He did buy a couple of portable air conditioning units
for me to
use when I visit.
It's like son of a bitch won't turn it on.
Exactly. You already know. I am that guy. He's alone most of the time. He just cooks in his
own juice. Yeah. Extreme heat is really dangerous for seniors. And it got so bad when I was visiting
last year that he had to take me to the hospital for heat stroke.
You got heat stroke in his house?
Yes.
Jesus.
Yeah, it's too much.
It's honestly really stressful.
Yeah, I understand.
I fully understand.
So what's dad's first name?
What do we call on him?
His name is Terry.
Terry.
So Terry, he didn't grow up with that AC.
He's a Canadian boy up in Canada.
He doesn't need an AC.
But the world has changed,
but Terry hasn't changed with the world.
He likes to soak in his own.
He doesn't even think, he just, he's like,
I'm not turning it on.
I'm not spending money for this shit.
Is it about the money or is it about principle,
you think, Carrie?
It's very much not about the money.
And I think it's a pride thing,
which I don't understand, but I'm hopeful that you do. hopeful that you do I do it doesn't make any sense to me because if you're hot
wouldn't want to be terrible weird lines in the sand you got to live by them
well without without we're the lines what are we doing I guess all right so
why don't you just say your exact question what do I get my dad to turn
the AC on yeah I convinced my ridiculous father to turn on his air conditioning
so I don't need to stress out about it? What kind of air conditioner does he have?
He has two portable units. They're large. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? No. I'll tell you what
I just started thinking there, Carrie. And this is a really weird run a mile to go a block.
weird run a mile to go a block.
They've got these Nest ACs that are controlled via Wi-Fi.
Wow. You can set up a nest in his house and control his Wi-Fi from your house and never tell him.
Wait, you could just charge.
Yeah, wait. So Nest.
So there's a Nest thing that I have, and that is I could turn the AC in my house on right now
You're central air. Yes, okay, and I could cool it down. I could do whatever I have access to it through an app
Uh-huh, so you can
Control his AC from your phone. He doesn't have AC
He does he just says portable things. Is that right? He doesn't have like central air
I understand so he just has like one little box in a window. Is that right?
Does he is it even matter are they like little weird portable ones? They're not little they're
You know, they're a decent size window units got big rooms, but no they're like, I don't know on wheels the little
You guys yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know those. Yeah, they they don't really do much um but it'll help cool it do more than nothing Carly it is bad yeah okay so what let me ask you
this let's say money is not an issue what do you want you want him to have turned out layer or just
turn it on I want him to turn it on okay someone said Jake having this
kind of technology knowledge is throwing us off yeah fair yeah this feels like a
classic time Gareth for a video that we could send the audio to dad right and I
don't really know what do a fake pod we do a fake podcast about older men in climates that have changed and the
importance of colder air for longevity. Okay, longevity and why don't we ask you this?
The Deer Method. If only we had a caller who had experience with older men in warm climate.
What are you talking about, Kevin? Hello? Is anyone else on the call I'm gonna think yeah I'm gonna think
that's my time here hey guys this is this is Connor oh my god
oh my god Connor you don't even we were when were we talking about him we were
talking about Connor the other day oh okay lot. Okay, Connor. I don't know. Carly, do you know Connor is?
I know that he's a legend.
So Connor and love living in an Airbnb with senior citizens all the time.
And he's very good at picking sides, playing the game, figuring out how to
crack the code of the elder mind.
Just excellence.
Well, why don't we?
Why don't we let Connor talk? Okay. because i don't connor what are you thinking you got anything connor have you heard
the setup on this yep i've been listening to the setup here all right what do you think the ways
right now i picture connor cracking his knuckles in a desk chair with his feet up and he just put
his arms behind his head i've had that headshot when I was going commercials. I wish I didn't.
It's awful news.
Connor, what's up, my man?
What do we do here?
Well, your logic is sound with this nest thing and it could work.
But as you said before, people are going to have a line in the sand.
And a guy 75 years old, that line's in the sand.
And you need to show them that that line, that line is a wrong line.
That's right. So what I'm saying here is it could, it could be far, but you might have
to smoke them out here. There's gotta be a limit where heat is too hot.
No, Connor. Jesus Christ, Connor.
Connor, hold on. I think you're wrong, bud. I think, I think-
Wait, wait, just to be clear, Connor, your pitch is to turn the heat on? I'm saying, obviously we're within health reasons here, health safety of course, but
he needs, like there has to be an understanding where there's a limit for this guy and he
realizes like, okay, AC is needed.
So I don't know.
And once you get to this point, we're not going to, we're not going to, you're talking
about the sauna technique and we're not going to sauna Terry.
But what I love, what I love is how long?
Jake was on board anything you said Jake was like you're totally right gotta go
But let him cook kind of go kind of the gospel Connor Connor. We're about to do a video for Terry
It's just gonna be an audio one. We're gonna send to her dad. But before we do that, my friend has life
Life is pretty good. I have left the Florida Airbnb situation and now I'm living in Salem, Massachusetts with
a new roommate.
In an Airbnb?
Not Airbnb, but recommended from a friend.
How old is the roommate?
Like they know the guy before him.
78.
34.
So we're navigating down.
We're navigating down.
I gotta say, for you I'm happy, for us I'm sad.
Why are you living with such a kid?
Well, you might like this, Ben.
When he got introduced to me, everyone only called him Dirty Mike.
And no one has explained why he's Dirty Mike.
What would be your guess?
Well, that's the thing. He has been immaculately clean.
And that's actually bad.
And I am worried for when this, no, cause there's obviously going to be a shoe
drop and I don't know when that's going to drop.
So Connor, will you tell us three weird things that's going on in your life?
My man.
What's going on up in Salem where they used to have burn witches.
One weird thing is I'm picking up a part-time gig up here where I'm gonna be
Navigating the tours like the ghost tours there great
Hold on. What's the name of the company and if anybody's in Salem, they can request you. Oh
Yeah, I think it's a ghost tours of Salem. Okay. Hey
You let us know when we have it and we will
Post it on the social by the way living with all those people near death is really going to help you with doing
a ghost tour.
Yes, but you would be a great tour guide.
Oh yeah.
And do not be afraid to go off script, my king.
I'll tell you what, a lot of people feel like, I've got to say all these talking points,
the tour began.
Not you.
You are somewhere in a basement, just start riffing.
Yeah, go.
Make up what happened in that
Elevator what you said they gave either one. Yeah, even what's written. Yeah
No, they gave it goes there named Mary prove it make up the gun and worst case you were possessed
You Connor they're in your world, yeah, so really quick Terry now, I'm sorry Carly
Yeah, we're gonna make a little thing to your dad
Does that sound good to you Carly if we go that route we make a little fake podcast clip that you could play for your father?
Oh, I'm really hopeful. I'm willing to try anything.
Before we start, we need a little bit of info. Can you tell us a little bit more about your dad?
And Connor, I need you to listen because you're going to be with us on this, bud, if you're willing.
Okay.
So Terry is 35. He's from Vancouver. Does he have any health issues?
Well, he's 75. So he's got health issues that go with that. He tells everyone about his
enlarged prostate, but I don't think that has anything to do with it.
No, no, no. We can use that.
You never know.
It's hyper-specific.
Okay. Good.
He's just a ridiculous person.
Give us details. specific Good he's he's just a ridiculous person
Like people describe him as a character
He's very stubborn always laughing always joking, but then he's also very concerned about the safety of everyone around him What is he a gemini?
He's an Aries
Okay, just a science guy chill out. Use that the first time the first time I'm hearing that. He's not okay. He's an Aries
He's an Aries. I know right? That's crazy
It's not what's crazy is what Jake just said about the Gemini and the way that he's acting what's crazy is Gareth is such
A cancer right now back to you Carly. Oh cancer man
Can you believe it Jake gag me with a spoon. What just happened?
So back to Terry.
He is stubborn.
He cares about people's safety.
He's got an enlarged prostate.
Wow.
What is this, the dating game?
What else do you think is wrong?
Hey everybody, we'll be right back.
He's got it all.
So Carly, is there anything else we can say in this?
Because I think the move for us, and you tell us if this is wrong.
But I think and Connor, obviously, we're all going to be thinking.
Well, this is Mo and Piggly.
I don't think we go that big.
We got to go.
So I don't think we think about the comedy of it.
We Mo and Piggly to a 75 year old man.
Hey, you want to hear a serious I can Charlie Rose and Mo and Piggly.
Why don't we just do a Charlie Rose channel is CNN.
If that adds anything, it does. So you take you guys having drinks and wants to do Pigly.
I want to say I want to be Pigly. Well, what should we do?
Should we like a CNN? I think we do a serious.
Yes. OK. And I think because we're trying to get her dad to believe this and turn
it on. OK, so I think you and I are hosts of a very serious podcast.
I'm flexible on the name and Connor, I think you're.
Could the name be CNN's
Mo and Pigly.
Yes.
OK, I think that's fair.
I do want to do CNN, Dr.
Mo and Dr.
Pigly.
I absolutely do.
OK, can I pitch Dr.
Mo and Mr.
Pigly?
Yes, of course.
Thank you very much.
100 percent.
I don't know why you want to be Mr.
Not a doctor.
I want to be the guy.
I'll be the interviewer of the doctor.
Okay, but-
But I also like the way Mr. Piggly sounds.
But Connor is our star.
Okay, so Dr. Moe, Mr. Piggly, and Connor can be the guest,
but we don't want to put too much on Connor.
Connor, do you want a lot, a little, or medium?
Because I think you can handle a lot.
I think I can handle a lot.
I'm interested, beware.
Okay, well Connor, just so you know,
what we're going to need from you is we're going to need
the dangers of being a senior and not having the AC on not having the AC on
especially in areas like Canada which are heating up at rates that we were and
I'm gonna give you and a big prostate
Yeah, but I'm gonna give you something the reason why Connor is the heat enlarges of the prostate further
Do you guys want seconds or can I have these? I'm okay, dig in.
And the AC is actually known to shrink the prostate.
Ooh.
Well, how about this?
Not the AC.
Cold temperatures.
But yes, a house that has a mean temperature
of around 70 degrees.
Helps the body, it helps longevity.
It helps healing.
Okay.
Heat exacerbates current medical conditions.
I think that's right.
So Connor, do you feel confident?
Oh yeah.
Carly, if this works, because we're going to try to do a quick, will you actually send
this to your dad and then follow up with us?
Oh, in a heartbeat.
Okay.
We're going to call you Connor Salem.
All right.
So is everybody ready to try this?'re gonna try to get it in one guys
We're gonna do it. No three. No, let's get into one guy
Hey, not cuz of me
Pigly's ready to go asshole. Pigly's wild. This my mom's hating this. This is not for you mom
He is hang in there Eve. You're being more wild than me. I've been very Kevin. You think that's true
Don't let the don't let the drunk guy decide. He's wild. I'm a shark.
All right. Ready? I'm still a shark. So I'm Dr. Mo. You're Mr. Pigly. Connor, you're kind of
Let's do an intro. Okay. And CNN. Yes. Okay. And welcome back to Dr. Mo, Mr. Pigly. We're happy to
be here again today.
We've been talking about the heat and what the heat is doing in certain communities.
I actually find this so interesting.
This is a problem that affects everybody.
But I also didn't realize that the temperature of your home can affect your health.
I think that's the thing.
And that's why we're going to bring in our guests in a second.
But a lot of people think it's just the external temperatures that really mess with you.
You know, Mr. Piggly, you're... Go ahead, what's going on? Yeah, go ahead, Dr. Mo.
You're 100% right because I remember when I was growing up... What just happened to you though?
It felt like the heat took you over. Stop! Start over. It was saying, Mr. Piggly.
Oh, I saw. I mean, Your body, your throat rejected saying it.
Didn't want to say it.
Yeah.
You were allergic to it.
I think we're going to win here.
By the way, I called it in three.
Yes, let's do it.
That was my fault.
Yep.
All right, ready?
Yes.
Be professional.
Three, two, one.
And welcome back to Dr. Mo, Mr. Piggly, a CNN podcast.
Here we are today.
We're talking about heat.
The heat is something that affects everybody.
The heat's been getting more and more.
This summer is the hottest summer on record.
It's wild, Mr. Piggly. It absolutely is something that affects everybody. The heat's been getting more and more. This summer is the hottest summer on record. This is wild, Mr. Piggly.
It absolutely is, Dr. Brown.
Did you have any idea that the temperature within the home affected the health and longevity
this much?
It makes sense, but I really didn't. I think people always think of the...
The external.
It's the external.
So older people have notorious... I always go into the Florida's or the Arizona's, but
now the studies are coming out that the colder temperature within the home helps?
Yes, and that's, we're going to bring in our guest in a second, Dr. Connor Salem, but before
we do, I think that is one thing that really we are so interested in.
Everybody has someone in their life who's a little bit older and we really need to take
care of them.
And the way that it can exacerbate health conditions they already have.
I just never thought that the air conditioner was our friend.
Heart conditions, breathing problems, prostate enlargement.
If you have an enlarged prostate, you turn on the AC and it might go down.
Okay, well why don't we bring in our guest.
This is Professor Connor Salem.
Connor, or Professor Salem, sorry.
I was shocked when I read your paper.
Now you are basically suggesting that a senior citizen's house has to be kept at around 70
degrees in order for them to get through some of these extreme heats.
Is that right?
Yes, gentlemen, I am.
It took a lot of years of studying and a lot of years of doing clinical trials, but at
the end of it, we did get some conclusive results actually.
And what were those studies you did, Connor?
So we were seeing how temperature affects the elderly there.
And what we found out at the end of it, surprisingly, was that if you are over the age of 70 and
you have a heat temperature that is above 85 degrees in your house, your prostate is 12 times likely to enlarge.
So what if it's not...
So, Connor, I just have a question here because I find this fascinating.
What if it wasn't as hot as 85? What if it was say 80?
Well, then it becomes more like an 11 or 10,
but it's usually anything 85 and above would be 12.
Stop! 85...
I thought it was 3. Galler, 85 is so hot! It's usually anything 85 and above.
Yeah. 85 is so high.
You don't need it.
I say 70.
That's like 70. We need it. It's got to be way colder.
You want me to start at 70.
I'll start at seven. I thought we were going to have a fire in the house.
I'll tell you what Terry's gonna say is, I'm good!
Connor, you see...
I thought a compromise of 85.
85 is crazy!
75 years old.
Connor, you're doing great. We gave you some notes.
Let's go way colder.
You feel, yeah, colder.
And we're all hoping for our setup too to this all has to be under two minutes guys
It has to be that's a note for me Connor. Don't he's not I don't think
Carly you tell me is your dad gonna listen to an a nine minute?
CNN honestly you guys put prostate enlargement in that he's listening. Absolutely
Get it in the beginning. All right, we're going back. So Connor gotta be a little bit colder my guy
Yeah, we're talking 72 degrees. We want him to feel he has to turn it on 10 hours. He has to stand in front
of it and just not have a burning fire in his house. The secret to the old fashioned
is the Luxardo cherry. And Kevin, I'm a shark. By the way, Kevin's talking like Terry. Okay,
here we go. All right. All right. And welcome back to Dr. Mo and Mr. Piggly, a podcast that always investigates
something that's affecting citizens of this great country.
This is so interesting one, Mr. Piggly.
Well, we've been digging into it.
I had no idea.
Well, I think one of the things we love about doing this show is CNN is able to give you
the broad strokes, but we get down to the nitty gritty.
Yeah, but I'll tell you, Mr. Pley, the thing for me, I always believed it.
Sorry, audience, I'm jumping ahead because I'm excited.
But we're talking about internal temperatures, temperatures within the home affecting your health.
Well, to contextualize it a little bit more, we're all dealing with extreme heat.
This summer's been the hottest summer on record.
And so we're wondering, okay...
Even here in Vancouver.
Well, and you always say, yeah, I mean, anywhere.
I mean, I never had an AC when I was growing up, did you?
No, I did not.
You didn't need one, no.
But health-wise, we need one now.
Didn't need one, no.
But the way that the heat is now sort of exacerbating things that people already have, conditions
that people already have, especially seniors.
But did you know that everybody, but especially seniors, but did you know that it affects
your prostate? If you have a large prostate and you take it AC on it.
Let's get to our guest.
Okay, but exacerbates heart conditions and exacerbates breathing but in large prostate
I believe this was just the sun.
Okay, we're very excited to have our guest here because he's a professor who's written
a lot on this podcast and he's got a great podcast called The Salem Trial because his last name is Salem.
Professor Conor Salem, now he wrote a lot about the idea of how important it is to keep
your home cool.
Thank you.
We think that the heat outside is what gets us, but it's actually, and you could jump
in here, Professor Salem, it's actually the heat inside your house that can be the problem.
Is that right?
That is absolutely right, Mr. Pagel.
You've been hitting a lot of it on the nose already.
I see why you're a professional at this.
Well, thank you. And I'm not even the doctor on this show.
Well, both of us.
Both of us are professionals.
All right, Mo. Go ahead, go ahead, Professor Pagley.
Dr. Mo.
So I went to, did some clinical trials.
Great.
And we were discovering whether heat had an effect on the senior citizen population.
And what we found at the end of it was that if you had the house over the temperature
of 72 degrees Fahrenheit, your prostate was 12 times likely to be enlarged.
Wow.
Wait, I'm sorry, doctor.
Did you say 72?
Over the temperature of 72 degrees.
So naturally, a home is anywhere from 71 to 75.
So are you saying that people should keep their AC on even if that's not their personal
preference for their health?
It is for the betterment of their life, the quality of their life.
If they are looking for better health results, it starts with the AC.
Can I just jump in quickly because I know I have I have elder parents and I think to
some extent they think that living in a hot house is kind of a point of pride or it maybe
helps them.
So you're saying my father's pretty stubborn.
Oh, you should see you think Dr. Mo is stubborn.
I'll tell you behind the scenes.
He really is.
But his father is a nightmare.
His father's a nightmare.
But but what we're really what we're trying to drill down on is
you're basically saying that it's important for them to keep that temperature down. It's a point
of pride and it exacerbates all the traditions. Question for you Mr. Pickley, what was that whole
tangent you just did? Just to attack me personally? I met your father. He was...
Your father was very upset. I just don't know why you'd interrupt the interview.
It seems crazy. Your father was very... your father visited the set of the podcast one day.
I understand, but it's crazy. And he was very upset there wasn't oatmeal. It was crazy being here.
And I saw where you got it from. But Professor Salem, so...
Maybe cut all that out. So Professor Salem, so you're saying it's very important for the seniors, especially
those with any health conditions, just keep that temperature down.
Yes.
If they have the ability, 70 degrees and lower will improve their prostate and will improve
their brain function 200%.
Fascinating.
Amazing.
Now hold on one second, Carly, because we can cut out that middle part, right Kevin?
Yeah.
So everything besides the weird tangent where Gareth and I blew it, I think that's pretty good, Carly.
What do you think?
I definitely agree.
You also got me excited about central air and maybe just sneaking out into his house.
Oh, well, why don't we start with the podcast?
Let's just do an addendum. Let's do an addendum.
Let's do an addendum.
No, no, no, I think the podcast got it.
Okay.
Oh, okay. You're happy?
Well, no, I mean if you-
Oh, very.
Okay.
Are you gonna send this clip?
Oh, yeah.
We'll do a CNN swish, all that.
Hey, Connor.
Connor, great work.
We love you, big man.
We love you, buddy.
And please tell us what's going on in Salem with these tours,
and we will give a plug.
And when you find out why he's Dirty Mike.
Let us know.
Please.
And Carly, thank you for the call.
Thank you, Connor.
Thank you, guys.
Thanks, Carly.
Thanks, Connor.
Thank you.
Thanks, everybody.
Bye.
Bye.
Oh, and Jake, we've talked about this before.
Hulu Animaham.
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I mean, we love some of these shows.
So yeah, like we said, get ready to be balled over, have your socks knocked off,
and get thrown for a loop. You love Bob's Burgers, right Jake?
I do. I think Bob's Burgers is my favorite animated show since The Simpsons.
Yes. I like Solar Opposites, and you can watch American Dad, The Great North,
Grimsburg, Krepopolis, all those shows.
So look, if you're looking for your favorite animated shows, there's only one destination
you need to remember.
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Hello, caller.
Hello.
Yeah, can you hear me?
Yes.
Welcome to the first live episode of
We're Here to Help, the 100th episode. Yes. Oh, congratulations, guys. Congratulations
to you. What's your name? My name, I'm going to go by Ginger. What? What's your age roughly
where you calling from? So I'm 32 and I'm calling from southern Maryland.
And what can we do for you today?
So my back story is that my five chickens keep crossing the road.
Come on.
Are you serious?
I'm being dead serious.
So your five chickens keep crossing the road?
It's a problem.
Okay.
Yeah, and I do have more, but they're the problem children.
I've seen this by the way.
There are like... Yes the problem children. Okay. I've seen this by the way. There are like,
yes, they do. Yeah. If you, I mean, you want to give them freedom, but they can be real little,
they really like to explore. So pretty much in the neighborhood where I live, a lot of people
pass by and it's becoming a problem to the point that people are having to pull off to the side of the road to come and tell me, hey, your chickens cross. But some people love them. I personally don't want to put up a sign
because I mean, the road's 50, 30 miles an hour anyways. Like I don't know what to do about this
because more people are coming in the neighborhood and my chickens aren't going to stop.
So wait, Ginger, I got, I got a question. Don't, don't chickens live in a coup? Like where there's a little fence around it? Are these free range?
Yeah, they're part-time free range. Um, so even though I have them in like a fence down area,
but it's still kind of open, the other chickens will actually climb over the fence.
Okay. So you've tried, you can't contain these chickens. So what is the specific
isolated as a statement from the show? It's great
Yeah, like what do I do to not piss people off? Should I put a sign out there? Should I?
Put out traffic cones like you can't put what do I do not to piss off my neighborhood?
Right. Well, yeah, you can't do you can't do the traffic cones
I'd imagine because it's not like there's a scheduled time when those chickens cross, right? Yeah
And those those little fuckers are free range.
They're just crossing whenever they want.
Yeah. Yes. I think, look, a sign might be a fine call.
Why don't we lean into a sign of a joke?
Why did the chicken cross the road and then the other side to piss you off?
Like because you have chickens literally crossing a road. We all know it.
People are getting annoyed.
I think we've got to go in the world of a sign ginger you're not gonna stand out there with a megaphone no
that's kind of well I also debated being that like crazy lady trying to like
speedometer people like with a hairdryer maybe part of the feet like are you
partly afraid someone's gonna run over your chicken I mean honestly they'll
run out of the road if they want but they do sometimes stop traffic I would
say maybe you want to have a sign I I think a sign for sure. I would say you want a sign. I kind of like the punch line sign.
Me too. I think what we need is a funny sign. I agree. So and maybe it's a funny sign and we do
one on each going each way. I think that's right. And a sign that looks... And one on each side of the road. So that's what I mean.
Yeah. But you can go each direction. This would be... You can also go why did the chicken of the road, so that's what I mean. Yeah, but you can go eat each dress This would be that also go why did the chicken cross the road on the other side of the road to blank well?
Because you don't know you want but you don't want to hit your punchline for someone who's never gonna come back
Yeah, that's true. So I think you want to make each sign
Independently funny here's where we're getting in the danger zone ginger if you can't be too wordy
Well also you can't lead to somebody turning around and dying.
Because that's why you don't, but they go, why did you cross the road?
But you go, that's why you do one sign that is just like, but the other side,
careful chickens cross the road.
This is not a joke.
Okay.
Something like that on one side.
Um, have you ever considered a bigger cage with a top?
I, that's also an option. We actually just built the cage better bigger. Okay, and just extended it
They still have chicken drama. So I still have to free range them
Oh, so I understand so when they're caged up those little chickens getting a little bit of trouble with each other
So you're letting them out to get better
But the problem is those little sons of bitches are crossing the street.
Jake, by the way, has just locked into the call.
I'm just trying. This is a really tricky one.
Yeah.
But the call...
Sorry, I was all over the place.
No, it's not you, Ginger. We've been drinking.
So it's going to be a theme all night.
And by the way, Kevin just put whiskey in front.
Check out your glasses.
Oh, wow.
Made by an incredible person, Savannah.
Savannah. Gilly Bean, we're here to help. Fake Jake, we're here to help. Made by an incredible person, Savannah. Savannah.
Gilly Bean, we're here to help.
Fake Jake, we're here to help.
Wow.
Mine says hunk of the show.
Pretty nice.
Thanks, Savannah.
Thank you, Savannah.
Thank you, Savannah.
I got an idea.
What about like a fake touristy mural sign that you turn it into like, you know when
you're on a road trip and you see like in eight blocks, the alligator farm and seven
blocks, the you'll see five the origin
of the chicken joke this is where the original chickens cross the road I like down to see
them in five blocks I can actually do like a whole portrait I have 24 of them I like
this that's good because if you give it if you get like falling rocks yes like that's
a sign we're like oh shit and they do those well in advance
Yes, so if you do one that's just like but you could do a couple
You could do a couple you could do a couple of them agreed, but you could build it up
Yes, and you could do the original cross
Do you remember like wall with the somewhere like South Dakota or somewhere in the Midwest?
They'll have like, you know, and I know in Iowa, they had the I 80 crossing.
They start talking about that so far in advance.
You can build this ginger that it's the original chickens from the joke came from, where the
joke came from.
I like that.
And then when they drive up, if they see the chickens, they're going to love the moment.
I like that.
I like that.
You put a sign up that says in one mile. See the origin of the, the great chicken.
Careful chickens, a written origin of the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe, what do you think of that? Ginger?
I actually liked that and I could probably get my neighbor who's like a few
hundred yards up to maybe allow me to kind of put that in the yard.
Cause they like that.
What are you saying about the art when you said the portrait?
What can you do there? You seem to have something.
Oh, like if you wanted to like, I could take pictures of like all the chickens
and like do, yeah, like a picture show, I guess, and show like who's in the flock, I guess.
Yeah, and I would also do like kind of old school font to make it look like a 1930s circus thing.
Put it like, make it look a little vintage and a little randy.
Well, you could also, you could, you could do little portraits for each one that crosses.
Like, meet Xavier.
Yes.
He's the spicy chicken.
You know what they do?
They do that at the zoo.
They do that at the zoo.
Where they have like, this is, you know, this is Winston, blah, blah, blah.
Winston is 33 years old.
Yeah. I think that's a really-
Like a Tinder profile.
Yeah.
That's a really-
I can definitely do that.
They do have names.
So Ginger, I would say do that
and you're building up to the people
seeing the signs slowing down
and looking for the place
where the original joke first started in 1927.
The more you, yes.
The more you make it feel like,
that's exactly right. And I think the more that you make it feel like a That's exactly right
And I think the more that you make it feel like it is a tourist trap
Yes, the more that people will be respectful
I'm on a road. You don't want to kill it if I'm no if I'm on a road trip going through and I see it
And I'm with my kids. I'll go like hey take a photo with the chicken. Yeah, you're not mad about stopping your thrill
You'll be more respectful. I think that's good
So what ginger what did you think of that idea?
And is that something that you could actually do?
Because I think we can get a win here.
I agree.
And I think this could work and I think it could make your neighbors have fun.
It could be a little bit community building and it's ridiculous.
Yeah.
What do you think?
Are you going to do it?
I think I'm definitely going to do that.
I like that a lot better than like just the regular chicken crossing sign. And then at least it makes it funny. I think so too. And then we require pictures
of these signs leading up a video from the POV of a passenger driving. Yes. I think the pictures
leading up and then pretending it's a big tourist thing that can be fun. This could end in merch.
This could end in merch for you. Ginger, let's take the win on this.
Will you do those signs and will you take photos
and send to us?
Absolutely, my husband's gonna love this new task
that we gotta do.
I love it, I think it's really fun.
Thank you so much, guys.
Appreciate it. Happy Hunter-us.
Take care.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
Hey everyone, producer Kevin here.
The original call from this next follow-up
aired on July 15th.
It's called Your Fourth Favorite Spider-Man and it's the third call in the episode.
So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it.
Enjoy!
Hi, yes.
How are you?
What is your name, your age, and where you're calling from and how about your favorite band?
There we go.
Well, my name's Angelica.
I'm calling from Frederick
and I was hoping to talk to big fat baby
and ginger picnic.
All right, hold on.
First of all, where-
By the way, you are.
By the way, just saying Frederick is not enough for me.
Like where, you think we know- You didn't say New York City.
This is not St. Louis.
Where is Frederick?
Oh no.
You're right, Kara.
Frederick, Maryland.
Frederick, Maryland.
We didn't know that.
But I do like that you just said Frederick.
I'm obviously from Frederick.
Oh, that's a Frederick girl.
Oh, Maryland.
We love Maryland.
I love Frederick.
Okay.
So.
And you want to talk to ginger picnic and
Big fat baby and big fat baby
Was is this is there a is that necessary? Why do you need them? What's your don't you take our what is your problem?
No, I just I wanted to update you guys. So you helped me with that awesome video
Wait, wait, you are the doll
You have the doll. Yeah great. Holy I gotta tell you. How are you?
Everything okay? Yeah
How are you? We're back. I love Frederick now mom sleeps with us my
Can we sleep in the room with you we can move plants with our minds my neck hoods?
I'm my next killing me. So tell us what's happening. We passed away
We passed away one hundred and three years ago, but we come out every night and we live here forever
So what's happening what's our home we're very into this but wait
I gotta tell you the amount of people like people fucking loved looking at the pictures
Yes, your doll set up and
everyone's reaction was just like ours even though ours was pretty horrified. Some were mixed.
But everyone was like oh my god. Well also some people were saying that's worth some real money
and that's the camp I'm in. That's the camp I'm in. I think you got something with those dolls.
But what's going on? Where are they living? Are they what was it the music room? It was the base
No, it's here. It's in the basement. Oh where her husband you wanted to move it up into a room. Yeah. Yeah
Can you do a quick refresher for new people in the chat caller just a little bit? Oh, yeah. Sorry
I had I had asked
Jake and Gareth if they could help me convince my husband to hang up my case of
baby dolls that my dad found inside of a wall of a condemned home.
Right.
And he, so my husband didn't want me to put them up anywhere because they were really
freaking him out. And for years I've been trying to convince him to hang them up
and display them in our home.
And so Jake and Gareth were very helpful and they made a video
that I showed my husband.
Oh, you did.
Okay.
Yes, I did.
So that was the setup.
We, and we basically were, our advice to you was basically,
it was originally going to be be there was a room upstairs
That we were that's where you wanted it. Yes hunk is drunk good comment
Hunk is for sure drunk. So we want it and you were gonna show it to him, please. Please tell us what happened
Yeah, so first of all, I got it. I like six o'clock in the morning the email so I woke him up
And then I said you gotta watch this you gotta watch this. You gotta watch this.
It's really important.
Um, and so he's already scary.
We would not have signed up.
Those are the tactics of a woman who has a weird thing of dolls.
Wake up, wake up at six AM.
Watch this video.
Two guys made a weird video of our dolls.
He's like, I'm literally in the middle of a dream.
The worst time to do this.
Okay.
So you wake up this poor man and you show him the video and what's he thinking?
Um, well, he obviously was pretty sleepy, but then he started laughing really
hard and he asked a bunch of questions and thought it was fake at first.
And then he realized that I actually caught into the past and
actually talk to you guys
Excellent and so he was finally convinced and he hung up the babies great in what room?
In the room and so you oh you're so you're happy you got exactly what you wanted. Oh, yeah, absolutely
I can't I am shot. It's a nice win. Oh my lord. Oh
Having I do have PTSD.
Can you try to make it bigger, Kev? No, no, we're good at that size.
Oh, they really look like they came off the Titanic.
And what do they do look like they came off the Titanic?
They look like waterlogged.
Yeah.
It's a what did you what's the vibe now that they're up?
How long until her husband calls?
Yeah.
Jesus. Look at Ginger Baby.
I mean, Ginger Baby looks like it was exhumed.
How are you feeling with it up?
Where are you at?
I'm feeling really good about it.
I feel like it brings a lot of character.
Sure does.
That's true.
I actually moved my desk in there as well,
so I can have it as my office.
What's with the close up shot of the cat?
Now we got your cat in the foreground.
By the way, I think it looks good up there.
And you would wanna see my cat?
Yeah.
I actually think, I'm not even making a joke here,
I'm not trying to do a positive slant,
I think it looks great on that wall.
I, and I'll be totally honest with how I feel.
It's crazy. You hate it.
I just would be like, this is crazy.
I would be fired up if I was staying in like a fire.
Can I finish if I was in a vintage hotel and on the wall that was there,
I would be fired up.
I don't know how I would feel.
My question is how close is your husband to where you are right now?
Great. He's actually sitting right next to me. is how close is your husband to where you are right now? Great question.
He's actually sitting right next to me.
May we have a word with him quickly?
That's right.
Oh, of course.
What's his name?
Hey fellas, how's it going?
Hey, how are you?
This is Austin.
Hey Austin.
Austin, how are you?
Hey, great, pleasure to meet y'all.
You too.
Pleasure to meet you.
So Austin, will you tell us a little bit
how you're feeling about having these dolls on the wall?
Where are you at? So you know, it tell us a little bit how you're feeling about having these dolls on the wall?
Where are you at?
So, you know, it's been, it's been a talking point for a while.
Sure.
And, um, you know, I'm a big fan of the pod, so it kind of felt unfair, you know, to have
that video.
Cause it was.
Cause he just knew I had to put them up.
Yeah, it's true.
But, now they're up.
I, you know, I've made sure I tightened
up all the screws and the plexiglass. It's way, you know, it's almost, almost better
because I can see them walking downstairs every day and know they're all still there
in the case. By the way, if one of those doll heads goes missing one day when you walk by
it, just run. But I got to now say to you, I got to say to you too for a second this wasn't your wish Austin but it does seem like a happy ending that
was really by the pod right am I out of line here no you're right I'm just
shocked but this it's up on the wall the couples happy yeah they're both saying
like that you know this works it is our caller called in with a very weird
problem very this is a very happy ending I wrong well for now it is our caller called in with a very weird problem. This is a very happy ending
I wrong well for now. It is it could be part of a Netflix six you know
both end up murdering
Eventually you guys like somehow you know, but let's cross that bridge later
I agree, and that's only gonna help the show so I'm gonna also say a hundred percent win so guys we appreciate
We loved this call. Love the call.
Your cat looks awesome. And if something else happens with those weird downs,
please call us back. Yep, absolutely. And if ever in Frederick, we'd love to come
by and sign a couple of those heads. Hell yeah, that'd be great. It's gonna
happen. Look at Jake. He's fired up. What are you talking about?
You're not gonna go there.
Thank you guys so much.
I'll see you in Frederick.
Thank you.
Do you really want to take away the value of these dolls by writing our markers on these
charties?
You have antique roadshowed these things in your mind in a way that is great.
I think she could get $35,000 to $5,000.
$35,000 to $5,000.
Are you ever gonna get these appraised?
Are you interested in buying them, Jake?
No, he's not.
No.
I'm interested in being-
Trust me, his wife would not let these near his shed.
You know what I'm interested in being?
I'm interested in being the Barbara to these
and helping you because you've got a great product,
but you need me to help get them out.
I know what to do with these lobster rolls.
I'm going to put a doll in everybody's hand. I would say this, if you ever want to do a third
follow-up or a third interaction, the move would be to actually get them
appraised. I totally would be very curious what the actual value of these
Titanic doll hats are. I would consider buying these. That's a shocking start to anything.
You could convince the other shark, Robert.
No, no.
If we, Gareth, what if we bought them and we took them to an appraisal?
If we put them in here.
Yes.
Oh my God.
Caller, what grade would you give Jake and Gareth for their performance in this call?
A plus, 100%.
Thank you.
Gold stars.
We appreciate the call, guys.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
Truly a great week.
Appreciate it, Angelica and Austin.
Thank you, guys.
Love you.
Love you, guys.
I love you.
Miss you.
Bye.
I don't know the reality of how we're going to do it.
I know we're trying to do that painting.
This is already crazy.
I know we're going to do that painting.
What?
We're getting the guy, getting an 80-year-old man to do a painting.
I want to start. This is crazy already. What do We're getting the guy, getting an 80 year old man to do a painting.
I wanna start as part.
This is crazy already.
What do you think I wanna say?
I think you're talking about how do we do more
like merchandise or something like that.
And buy stuff together.
But invest in.
As Robert and Barbara.
Yeah, but they make good investments.
What is your upside?
We make bad ones, but we do it for the show.
That's not a good business model.
Here's what I think would be funny.
If somebody's got something like this,
we go in as two sharks. It's crazy. And then they could have equity in it. So let's say that. What are you eating? But listen, here's what I think could be funny if somebody's got something like this we go in is to sure it's crazy
They could have equity in it. So let's say that what are you listen? We're ready. What I'm saying
Barbara and Robert making deals. I like I like it for the content. Yeah, so I like it for the as far as an ad if we weren't
Entertaining and be the worst idea ever. Well, we are entertaining. OK. But in that moment, we start incorporating.
Then we start going, I'm willing to do this,
but I need another shark.
OK.
And guess what?
Kevin's another shark.
Two keys got to turn.
I'm a shark.
But you'd be like Ashton Kutcher, the sometimes visiting shark.
I'm a shark, just because he's wet right now.
I'm a shark.
Just because he's drunk as I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
Sharks never say, I'm a shark.
He said that, and it got glossed over so fast. Kevin can be into, I'm a shark. Sharks never say, I'm a shark. He said that, and it got glossed over so fast.
Kevin can be in too.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
I'm a shark.
Hello.
No notebook.
I haven't been doing notebook.
I know.
Hi, how are you?
You're like the waiter who now just squats down.
And now you're copying me with no notebook.
I left it over there.
You are such a little brother!
Oh for God's sake! Hi caller!
You're on, we're here to help. Now you're using the notebook.
You're on with Jake and Gareth. Can we get your name, age, and where you're calling from please?
Hi, this is Rebecca.
I'm 29 years old, calling from Alabama.
Alright, Rebecca from Alabama.
Jake's writing it down because he likes to copy me.
What can we help you with today? Rebecca from Alabama, Jake's writing it down because he likes to copy me.
What can we help you with today?
I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now and we just moved in together about
two or three weeks ago.
I've known this about him that he loves milk.
I've known this just because most places that if we're traveling somewhere, he likes to
have a gallon of milk while we're there.
We visit my parents.
What kind of milk?
He's a big milk guy.
Whole, 2%?
What are we talking?
He's 2%-er.
Okay.
So he's a 2%-er.
He apparently used to be whole milk
and he's cut back to 2%.
Milk.
Now that we live together,
I'm realizing that he consumes it quite a bit to the point where
it's almost like, feels like two gallons a week.
And while I don't want to like yuck his yum, I mean, I love that, you know, he loves what
he loves, but consistently, this seems like a large quantity of milk over time.
And I'm just curious and want to know what's a good way to kind of
approach this politely or do I have a milk intervention just on how much he's
consuming. It's a lot of milk. This is Rebecca what I like to
refer to as wheelhouse. Yeah this is is right where we need you here. You've come to the we never say this
You've come to the right place. Your problem is that you're
Your is it a boyfriend or husband? I can't remember boyfriend your boyfriend. It's a boyfriend drinks a lot of milk. Yeah
This feels like the example I would give to somebody. Yes
Like that what kind of calls does your show get kind of nothing stupid stuff like
In Alabama moves in with a guy and he drinks too much milk. I
Feel like we need a milk man
So to get to get deep on this what what are we calling this milk guy suds we'll call him Chris Chris
So your issue with his milk consumption, Let's get right to the bottom of it
Let's get to the truth. Let's cut out all bullshit. What is the issue with it?
I guess it's really like it's I'm worried
it's gonna be a long-term to down on a milk issue that we're always gonna have to have a
Gallon in the fridge right away. I'd be a fan
Yeah, okay
Well, who cares if there's two gallons of milk in the fridge or there's gonna be a panic. Yeah, but hold on. Yeah. Who cares? Well.
Who cares if there's two gallons of milk in the fridge, Rebecca?
You know, answer Jake's question and then I'll defend you.
I'll defend why.
OK, first, who cares, Gareth?
Why is this bad?
Two reasons.
OK.
Yeah, why?
One, I'm just like, I don't love, like, in a lover's mouth
to be like, watch that kind of white film, live there for extra
long.
Gross.
Second, shelf space in the fridge.
If you're talking two gallons of milk, you're talking half of the top shelf is gone.
You're talking also travel hotels filled with milk.
The idea that when you got to land, you got to figure out some milk logistics.
Milk or cigarettes.
Yeah.
Like, you know, I need, I need my milk.
Yeah. So is that-, I need my milk. Yeah.
Okay, so is that-
Could get him a milk fridge.
No.
So Rebecca, is part-
That's pretty like a milk cooler.
Is part, so the issue is, is it the space?
I'm trying to just-
It's the quantity.
It's the quantity, okay?
I'm just trying to really nail-
Kinda grosses you out.
It's the quantity.
Is it-
Yeah.
Is it that you find it disgusting?
Is it the fridge space?
I think it's the constant concern
that we don't have enough.
You know, it seems like it's so,
that's a necessity, yeah, it's just such a necessity
and he's 32 years old,
so can we curve back on the milk a little bit?
So what do you think,
is this like a baby's baba kind of thing?
Where did the milk come from? I'll bet he thinks it's just super healthy
Yeah, he's probably thinks it's great for his bones Rebecca. Why does what do we call him this character again? Chris?
Yes, why are we why is Chris like milk so much? It can't just be for the taste. I
Think it's just something he's grown up with
He's always been it's been a milk household
He said that growing up they had to go every other day to get a gallon of milk
And I think that's where my future concern because you're gonna have a bunch of kids just drink
Everyone's got their own to write milk. Yeah housing milk. You're gonna be the milk family. Yeah, the milk. Yeah
Honestly, and I do find that I get being
The milk. Yeah. Honestly, and I do find that I get being grossed out by that.
So then the question is, is how do we curb a man's addiction
to milk that he's addicted to his whole life?
It sounds like she wants to figure out the way to have a tough conversation.
I have a pitch that leads us in a direction of sabotage.
So I don't know if you want this one. Let's hear it. This is what I would pitch.
I would pitch you low key grab, and this is fucked up, but I want to create a situation
where he has what I'll call milk backs, flashbacks to this moment where he thinks you're going to
gross out his milk. Here's what you're gonna do.
You're gonna go to the store, whatever, you buy his gallon of milk that he wants. You're
also gonna buy two extra gallons of milk that he's not gonna know about. You're gonna put
those two gallons of milk in the closet and hide them. And in 15 days, you're gonna replace
whatever milk he has in the fridge with that gallon. When he goes there to get it, it's
gonna come out chunky, stinky, and he's gonna to be like, ugh. And then you do it with the second gallon of milk that you
bought like a week later and be like, I actually, I read something about how milk was getting weird
lately. I don't know. Interesting pitch. So Rebecca, when you hear that, what are your thoughts?
Besides thinking I have a problematic mind, what do you think? Well, here's what's interesting about
it before you answer. If you eat something that really almost makes you barf, it changes the way you look at it.
I won't eat Malaysian food based on one experience.
I had one bad experience with gin.
Then you throw them out.
I'm like, I'll never have gin again.
Yes, you throw them out.
Because I decided to drink a bottle of it in eight minutes.
I'm holding you accountable, gin.
It's not my concern
Your industry did this so the idea of it is is
Maybe you take his milk and you fill it halfway up with rotten milk
Well, you just leave a gallon in the fucking closet
And then when he's in there just get rid of that gallon and put that in fucking shady
What we're hoping for is he takes one sip and goes one sip one swig whatever and he's like, uh
What are your thoughts? Yeah, he's running on, you know, years and years of a love and devotion
to milk. My concern is that he's just going to, I'm going to be demoted of taking up milk ever
again, which is totally fine. Honestly, with me, but I think it probably would just continue.
But hold on, I just want to say my pitch is not that this is the fresh gallon you put
in.
What you're going to do is you're going to do the Indiana Jones bag of sand for the idle
swap.
He's going to be halfway through that gallon, then you're going to get the same amount,
you're going to put it in there and he's going to go, this milk turned fast or something
like that.
But we might be dealing with too long of a problem.
Yeah, it's a pitch.
So here's another thought.
What are you thinking?
Kevin brought it up about getting a under $200 milk fridge for the garage, a weird
closet and saying, keep your milk in there.
It's kind of getting a little bit much for me
and it's grossing me out.
Can we make a little separation between church and state?
The milk is your thing.
It's too much milk.
Your milk is grossing me out.
I will say my wife has a few things
that she's been allowed to say
where she'll say like, that's pretty gross.
And as the other part of that relationship,
you're like, I don't want this gross thing
to get any bigger.
Uh-huh.
She's let you know you're on thin ice
I don't like this.
And you walk back to land.
I don't like this path.
Yeah, you can do whatever you want.
See, that's what,
cause I was initially to say the second milk
fridge doesn't really solve the problem.
But it is a nice way to say I'm not asking you to stop, but I am letting you
know that I don't love it.
What about also finding another drink, something with electrolytes and you make
a you get a big jug.
You get one of those like two gallon bottles, which I've drank out of before,
where you can buy on Amazon for 30 bucks. And you get some like kind of sweet tasting
electrolyte and you fill it with like you cut lemons in it and you go, Hey, honey, you can
have as much as you want from this. Let's just drink it together because it's really
hydrating. And you can go and I read it's way more hydrating than milk because milk,
although it's milk, you go milk has calcium in it, but it's actually not hydrating
So will you do me if he's about to grab a thing of milk will you go?
And I do this with my kids if they want like, you know, oh juice
I'll go you can have that juice, but you got a chug of water first
Yeah
So you could say do me a favor drink a glass of this electrolyte water and then have your milk and I'll tell you what's gonna
Happen you're going to change his addiction
I hope so the more I think about this problem the more I am like it
There's no time in my life where I'd be like I could go for a glass of the same
It's just but what do you think of I like what do you think of that idea?
I like that just creating a thing that you're asking him to do has nothing to do with the cut damn milk
Because if you're trying to get a heroin addict to stop doing heroin you don't cut out heroin
You give him another addiction
Great. I don't know if that comp where you do all these little meth my man
No, but all these guys the the they get what is it? What is no methadone? Yeah, they're all
Yeah, and it's better than the other drug. I I like that pitch
What do you think of that an elect like that drink that you say to him?
Hey, I just heard this stupid podcast, but they're talking about how it's like one of these
You know live forever podcast and they're talking about how milk really like dries you out. Are you? Oh, here's what you go with
really like dries you out. Are you?
Oh, here's what you go with.
You heard a podcast and we can,
it's called the Pigly and Mo Show.
I was just gonna ask you if we're doing Pigly and Mo.
And they're talking about how milk in the dairy industry,
they're putting so much hormones into everything
that unless you're around the goddamn cow.
You gotta go to the farm.
Unless you're at the farm, do not drink the milk.
All right, are we ready for Pigly and Moe?
I'll say, he's big on the longevity
and listening to podcasts about living as long as possible.
So I think if you wean into that.
You're gonna say you found a clip from the Pigly and Moe
show, and they were talking about the benefits of electrolytes
and the downside to drinking too much milk and why.
Would you send this to him?
Is there a chance this would work?
I think so.
I mean, I think that he's really big into
living as long as possible and longevity
and especially what people on podcasts may say.
So I would definitely-
Here's what we can maybe do, Gareth.
Pigly.
Pigly and Mo would be funnier, but I don't think it would be effective.
Here's what I think could be effective.
We send an audio only where it's a serious podcast like Huberman or all these guys, where
one of us is the milk expert or the dairy expert and the other one is hosting the show
and it's a clip now
Why don't we do a nod to pigly and moe where the host will be john pigly and the doctor will be
Dr.
Moe swazin perfect. Okay, so you're gonna who do you want to be?
I mean, obviously i'll be moe and you'll be pigly. But who are you doctor? Are you the the site?
Are you the i'll be the scientist? Okay. Okay. Okay, so you're gonna get this clip and you're gonna send it to him.
Wheelhouse.
As just its own clip to hear what he comes up with.
Does that make sense?
Yes.
Okay.
And then, Doctor, you start the pod.
It's not the beginning of the pod.
Sure.
She's just sending a clip from the pod.
Sure.
Okay.
And you're the milk guy.
I'm the dairy expert.
Okay.
All right.
And this is your pod.
Yep.
Another thing that I was reading about recently, and I know you've studied a lot into this,
Dr. Moeman, is the effects of milk.
I think when people think about milk today, we still
think of milk as we did when we were kids. You drink milk with your lunch and
because it's how it used to be. And you sort of frame that as a bit of
indoctrination. You say drinking milk on that level is not something you
recommend or you suggest. Thank you for asking. Well the dairy industry has just
changed so dramatically. So those of us who were raised on milk,
I was personally raised on milk myself,
it's a totally different product.
So milk from the farm, milk from an actual animal
is wonderful, it is beneficial, it's got vitamin C.
But what you're buying in the store now is.
You're just drinking processed nothingness.
So do you even feel like there are any benefits
to store bought milk?
The milk that people are consuming right now based off the grocery stores they're getting,
I'm even including the Whole Foods and the quote-unquote healthy markets, this is not actually milk.
Is it detrimental? Is there a downside to drinking that?
We have not seen that there's actual evidence to show that, but we do see that it builds a mucus in the lungs.
It is not good for the body, but there's nothing beneficial. You're not getting calcium from it.
I think that would fascinate most people.
I find it utterly fascinating.
But the problem is you can't utterly.
Is that intentional?
It's very funny.
But right up on it.
But what you can't do.
Go ahead.
Don't get emotional.
Go ahead and say, stop.
We had it.
We'll cut this part out.
This friend.
Because then I wanted to respond to community.
I can't be motivated.
What I have found in my research
is if you're looking for the hydration,
if you're looking for the calcium,
you should do an electrolyte-based drink.
Okay.
There's plenty of them on the market.
These have not been tapped.
The problem with the messaging
about what's happening with Big Dairy
is that we can't get that message out because of the lobbyists. So my message to
anyone listening to this is please curb your milk intake. Please curb your cheese intake.
It is not good for your longevity.
Okay. Well, so move to the electrolytes. We have to take a quick ad break, but the Piggly
Hour will be right back. I want to thank again Dr. We have to take a quick ad break, but the pigly hour will be right back
I want to thank again. Dr. Moeman for coming in and we'll pick up more after this quick break from Zoc Doc
Please don't jump in
By the way, Rebecca great job boys your thoughts
Thought that was fantastic. Right, right. I really was buying into it and And we could send you, we'll cut out our bits.
Yeah, we'll keep it for our show, but for your purposes.
But if you just say that Tim,
and you could do it via an email,
what if you say, hey, just got sent,
is there somebody in your life who could send it to you?
That's great, we can.
But, who, your friend Gareth? Sure.
But Rebecca, is there somebody that you could tell your husband, my blank sent this to me, that you could tell them about it?
Yeah, I think my brother.
So have your brother send it to you and then you forward it to Chris.
And then just say like, hey, FYI, this is pretty crazy stuff, but it's not getting out there because it's hard to push anything real past the media.
And he'll go like, that's
crazy about milk. And you could say like, I know like the Hubermans and all them, they're
all really anti milk.
Piglies.
I like it. This is a win.
Okay, good. Thanks for saying that.
Ring the goddamn bell.
Then do us a favor and keep us updated. Send us a screen grab of the email. We'll block
out everybody's
name, his response. And if he has a rebuttal, we'll make another clip rebutting what he's
saying. But I think this, I think we will, we will die for this cause. We can get you
out of this situation. It just might take a couple of follow ups. Sure. I appreciate
it. You guys. All right. We're here to help. We're here to help. I mean, this is what we
do. All right. Thank you, Rebecca. We're here to help. We're here to help. I mean, this is what we do. All right. Thank you Thank you
Oh
Shark in the Garf man. Oh, wait a second. Do we all can we just call him shark?
Can we I mean obviously I did a, Cardetto sharp the fucking shark
Someone tagged me today and with holding guardettos and said thinking of you
Those were so I forgot how good guardettos are. Yeah, they're awesome
Uh, thank you guys for sticking with us for this. This was the hundredth episode. We're doing a little outro to say thanks
Uh shark, what do you got? I want to thank our amazing crew who? This was the hundredth episode. We're doing a little outro to say thanks
Shark, what do you got? I want to thank our amazing crew who makes the show possible
AJ John Josh Caitlin
Leah has been extremely helpful with all the merch and the website and everything and
My buddy Wes you guys met at the last second
Was helping set up all the video and the lighting and the camera, made the stream all possible,
couldn't have done it without him.
And yeah, it was a ton of fun.
And my buddy Eli, who officiated the wedding,
who built that custom desk that you guys were seated at,
built it all from scratch.
The studio literally did not exist a month ago.
It was just a plot of land.
So it's been a crazy month.
Yeah, and so I'm super grateful to everyone
who helped me put it together and our crew
that made the live stream and all 100 episodes.
Fantastic, so thanks, Dan.
And a big thank you to every single person
who has called into our show.
Absolutely.
And taken the chance and dealt with what's happened
in your real life and the anxiety of being on the call with us
You guys make this show great. So, you know, here's to a hundred and the next hundred
Let's see what we can do and see if we can improve the show and have even more fun. Yep, great
We're gonna do more of those. So it's very exciting. So thank you again
We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds.
The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ
McKeon.
Our social media director is Kaitlyn Tanwakeyo and our video editor is John De Bruyne.
The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at oliverraleigh.com.
That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I.com.
The album artwork is by James Fostike. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore
Fostike, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com.
Additional artwork by Patty Holland, you can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland
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