We're Here to Help - 103: Smart People Are Our Kryptonite

Episode Date: August 8, 2024

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about a fake cooking class, a mannequin for a dog and refrigerator wars. Check out the site made by social media director Katelin with help from our Patreon at thefriendlyshark.squarespace.comWe looked at:The Mannequin The Small FridgeThe Big Fridge1st Text/WebsiteText 2Text 3Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail] (Early Access, Bonus Calls and Q&As): Patreon.com/HereToHelpPodVIDEO: Youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And we are... Welcome back! Well, back to the show! And we are, we are, welcome back. I'm a shark. Jake, this, I don't even know how to explain. We just finished this episode. And for me personally, it's insane.

Yes, but we got, we got a special guest, our friend Heather from Orlando. What's up, Heather? Hey, still doing good over here. Maybe we got the shark in a Quincy shirt looking good. What's up, shark? What's up, guys? Feeling good. Looking good.

We got Gareth in a weird pink bedroom. What's up, Garf? Hey, Jake, this is all bad. Classic Garf. It's Garf and you know Heather, you're really getting, you're really jumping in a lot Heather. I'm not gonna lie. It's a lot. I feel comfortable.

You really do. It's kind of like we're like, do you want to come in and then you're like laying in my bed like, these sheets suck. So we got a fun show today. Heather's gonna be on it. She's got a fun show today. Heather's going to be on it. She's one of the callers. And then she joined us for a follow up. And we threw her in the intro.

So you're going to love her call. It's really fun. After you hear her call. I'm doing all the ads. Ooh, should we do an ad with Heather? That's crazy. So you're not doing ads? Do an ad with Heather.

Where's my cut? Heather, you're fun. Heather, do you want to talk about Quincy clothes? Kevin's wearing Quincy clothes. Quince, Quince, my bad. Yeah, they're my favorite. Yeah, you're fine. Heather, do you want to talk about Quincy clothes? Kevin's wearing when she clothes. Quinn's Quinn's my bit. Yeah, they're my favorite. Yeah, we love Quinn. What do you think about Zoc Doc?

All I do is go on Zoc Doc and where we stay. She's the and hello, Fred. She is. Well, I don't think they're with us anymore. Green, that worked. Yeah, it's really chef. But thank you so much for trying. Really fast before we get out of here and start this great show

Gareth you texted us you had a dream last night. I I would tell us there there. It's a lot. I That's right. I had a dream that I went out to eat and that I Well Heather so far the dream you're really amping it up But okay, I'm not on camera though, so I need them to remember I'm there. That's that right? And I and I as I was like sitting there, I was like, should I say something? Should I not? And I just lean over and I go, Hey, you know, we we've been trying to get you on my podcast call. We're here to help. And she goes with Jake Johnson. And I go, yeah. And then I'm like, oh, yeah. And so we talked for a minute. And then as she's leaving, I'm like, I got to lock it down.

So I go, Hey, we'd really love to have you on the show you know and she goes to her husband she goes get his phone number he answers all my calls and I got his number and I was like and then I was like in my head I was like what should I do I was like I think I'll just give the number to Kevin I was like strategizing I woke up and I was like the show is really entering my world yes. Yes our way, but by the way, man I think that's getting us actually one step closer to the great Barbara Corcoran being on this show I can't wait now that can I had a dream last night I was standing on a pier in the middle of the ocean and it was a little platform and there was a big

Killer whale swimming around and I the water was pretty clear and I was watching it and I wasn't scared I just thought what a beautiful creature. Did you throw your back out? No. Jake your dream sounds so much better than all of that crap we heard just now. Ladies and gentlemen without further ado. Adieu. I'm right behind you.

Great job Heather. You're so funny. Thank you for the call. Truly funny. Kevin, you do our intro, Shark. You got it. You gotta call yourself Shark. Hello. Hi, how are you? Good, how are you?

Good, thanks. Thanks for calling. We have Jake and Gareth and the shark with you today. Can I please ask what your name is, what your age is, and where you're calling from? Add a boy shark. Well done, shark. Thank you. I'm Heather, 25, Orlando. Great.

Perfect. Heather and Orlando do go together. Am I wrong? No, you ain't wrong, Jake. You're right. Heather, what's the problem? We got a complicated one. I really don't see an option, so I'd love some help.

I told my boss that I signed up for a four-week cooking class so that I could be off work and go to a BDSM rope tying course. Wait, say that again. I got confused there. I know the cooking class. What is the course you're taking? It was a BDSM rope tying class. Oh, and wait, and what did you want to tell her?

Sure. I was, so I told her I signed up for a cooking class with my friend. Gotcha. Now she's saying, can I get some of that chicken parm and you're saying, can I tie your legs to a pole? Yes. Only if I can tie you to the wall and feed you it. Yeah.

OK. So let me get your dishes. You go like this, well. All right, Heather, so you keep talking. Walk us through with that. OK, OK. I, every week, we talk a lot at work. I'm her nanny, and the kids go to sleep and then we chat

And I just was making up stuff about the class and she kept asking me like how's it going and stuff He just had a new baby So she's just home and she was really invested in it. So I just kept making up details and Now the class is over and her baby is doing well and she's ready to leave the house She wants to go to the class with her husband. We shit. I don't have a place to send her This is and I can't let her find out I was lying Because she'll think I'm a liar and I take care of her children. I got a pitch. I did too. Okay We are sponsored by we are sponsored tire up tie her up, uh, tie her and her husband up.

Uh, you know how to put them in your dungeon. They have to die now. They have to die. Now the end of it. No, we are sponsored on this show. I think still, but I know we have been in the past by Squarespace, right? Which means we could create a fake website for this cooking class that we could then say it has been canceled.

So you could send her the link to it. She could look at the link. The link could look real. We could maybe either have Caitlin or somebody, one of our followers on here, who's really good at designing a thing. We can give them a shout out who could build a fake cooking class, a four week course, everything that you said, make it seem very real, send her the link, and then she goes, oh, no, they just they did the school just shut down.

And then we can make up some funny reason why they closed on why. I guess the the main woman was into like tying people up for sex. It was like a sex front. It was like a sex dungeon. Then you go. None of that was there when I was there, but I guess they also did this thing in the basement. They tied people up. And I mean, if you're interested in that, I could lead you towards that.

But in real, but the real pitch is you got to like that Garf. I love it. Right. OK, keep going. My initial pitch was going to be something like that. It got shut down. So, all right. So we're creating the problem for her, right?

Yes. Like now. We're creating the school. So, OK, so we've so we're creating the problem for her, right? Yes, we're creating the school. So, okay, so we've created that via sponsor. Why not via sponsor? Why not also send them our home cooking sponsor? So you can say, and I know you really wanted to do that, so I actually got you and we can hook you up

with like three free at-home meals that they can cook together so that she doesn't have a problem with it but but she wants to go to this cooking class so if they get out of the house yeah if the problem was she said because she does it over a year she said cook me a meal she comes over to your house and you cook it together oh um that's a no yeah she's looking so all the right i think that would be the solution if she said like I want to hear I want to taste your great cooking. I hear you. I just worry that she might be like, huh? This is a little suspect. Hold on gareth. You just said that because I should hold on

No, I never we've done over 100 episodes. You've never had a little bit of a pessimistic, I don't know if it'll work. I just- Yours, I said, I don't think it'll work. You go, hey, I gotta say, I don't think yours would work. They might be suspicious. We pitch hobos in Santa outfits. One time.

What? No, I just- You just fought fire with fire. You 70s bushed my 70s bush. The last thing you want, the last thing you want is for her to be like I don't think this class existed. I agree Crazy if we really start going down that road Gareth, we don't have a show Everything we pitch could be that way. Well, then that I just mistakes are high cuz it's a boss

I hear you. I hear you. I like so we got that. Let's put that to the side Let's see if we can pitch something that tops it Okay, well, what were you gonna say Heather what you were saying your fear. Oh, I wanted to say they're they're very intelligent people and Same with us We're screwed have you ever considered Parmesan in the floor? Yeah, what if you throw something in her car? I'm a shark Yeah, what if you throw something in her car? I'm a shark. I'm a shark. OK, they're very intelligent people.

Throw dog shit in her house. Why don't you put some dog shit in her bed? Cut eye holes in an eye mask. Start start flossing in her living room. Really smart. Get her tickets to an ostrich farm as the people were messing with. Yeah, that's the real question.

I don't need to have an IQ cutoff for our pitches. Yeah, so is that so I've got a problem. What is it? The person I'm trying to mess with is really smart. By our shortest episode. Take care. This show's over. So let's get back to this and see if we can get a win. Heather, you are a nanny.

You like your job question. Why didn't you just say what you were doing? What's wrong with that? I've only worked here for like four months at the time. Yeah. You didn't want to be judged. That's just too personal. Yeah.

I didn't want her to be like What you know yeah, and then I also didn't want her to be like well don't do that just come to work great I agree okay. I hear what you're saying now. This is just for the show and backstory Do you like to tie up or do you like to be tied up? I knew you're gonna ask me that um I Wanted to be tied up, but I went with a friend and we kind of had to take turns because we both wanted to be tied up. And so when you go to a class like that, what are you then learning or are you just going there to be like, I'll volunteer? No, we were partners. So, and I told her the cooking class, you had to have a partner and I was like, if I don't go, they're going to kick my friend out. So I got to go. So they were teaching us specific ties each week.

And then they got more complicated each week. Was the, did the instructor have a ponytail and was he wearing T. They were two females and one. Oh, nevermind. Okay. Okay. If it's a, if it's a female with a point, tell her she's cool. A guy in Tiva's with a point a ponytail with some version of a tattoo that wrapped around one

of his arms and a bracelet and sun soaked from that Orlando sun. The ponytail is the body's first rope. God gave us all a rope. But now Heather Orlando 25, we've got one pitch so far. And that is we create a fake website about this cooking class. We make it very real. We pitch it with you until you're happy with it. When you and us, and as a community, we'll do a followup where we will, we can show it to people on our, maybe on the Instagram or whatever.

We can build it really with the Patreon community because they've been really kind of hands on to make it as real as possible. When we feel it's bulletproof, you send her a link to it. When you hear that, what do you think? It's a big risk. If you get caught, you've lost your job. That's what I'm worried about because, okay,

if she finds out, I mean, at this point point she wouldn't be mad about what I really did It would be mad about the 1000 lies. I made up and told her to get it So I am I am in deep, you know, yeah, I think I think the website is the only way out Okay So you feel right now just to be clear with what you say because I got a little turn around there if you said to Her right now. I didn't go to the cooking class, I went to a rope tying class because I wanted to get tied up,

you feel like she would not trust you anymore and you would lose your job. She would say, so why did you tell him, I mean, I made up so much stuff about this class. That's what you mean by the thousand lies. Okay, so you've now talked, you're gonna die by a thousand little cuts. It's really, your options are fully come clean or get filthy.

And I think you're probably right that it's probably better to just go big. Where did you leave it with her? Like when she suggested this, what did you say? You were like, oh yeah, I'll hook you up. At first I was like, yeah, send you the link. And then I thought maybe she won't ask again. She asked again. And I said, you know what? My friend booked it.

I'll have to get it from her. And then she didn't ask for like a week. So I thought I was in the clear. But then last today's Monday, last Thursday, she said, like, you know, my doctor says I'm ready to go and leave the house I'm down. We got a move sounded like so much fine So we gotta move if we're gonna do this we gotta move cuz it will be weird. I would yeah, it's right. I know Cuz if I have somebody tells me they've done something and I asked I go hey Can you hook me up with that and they go? Yeah, And it doesn't happen. I'm now starting to go.

Why? Yeah. Why are you, why are you being controlling of a cooking class? You're fucking weirdo. You're so weird. Okay. So, so let's just talk real quick. So the, the, we're going to, oh, I have an idea.

What? This is not the, okay. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. I can help. He said, um, we say that the cooking class is like a traveling cooking class and I didn't know but it was only in Orlando that one time. So then the website is sort of reflecting that or are you saying no website? Well, oh yeah. I think website can reflect it,

that'd be fun. Yeah. I would lean towards that. Yeah, the website would reflect like going to Atlanta or something. Yeah, August 2024, Atlanta. Here's my fear of that, guys. Here's my fear of that. I'll go to Atlanta. Well, it's not Atlanta. No, it's not going to Atlanta.

It's just two babies. Okay. Okay, you're right. Okay. So, Shark, how long would it take to actually get this website going? Are we close to done? If you talk to Caitlin today and a lot of people? Yeah, we can do it today or tomorrow. Yeah.

Okay. So if we had today's Monday, Heather, if we had something to you by Wednesday, would you send it to her if you approve the look of it right away? Sure. Okay. What do you think of this as a real solution? Sure. Okay. What do you think of this as a real solution? I would need to, I guess, tell you all the details that I told her. You could put that in an email. Totally.

Email to us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Caitlin and I can put it in the site and you can give us notes too. If you're like, change this, this doesn't make sense, let us know. Okay. And then what we could do, Kevin, right away, if we could do it fast, is why don't we put this call, we can cut this section out one second, Heather,

put this raw call on Patreon. Cool. So that they go, it's gonna be edited, it's gonna be different, the follow-up will be part of it, we wanted to get you guys this right away, and then show people the website as we go, so people can try to pick it apart on the Patreon.

Great. Make it bulletproof. I would also put, I on there would put like almost like tour dates, like a list of cities where this is going to be. And the thing that standups do like sold out. So you put a date, you put the red box around it and it says sold out. Tickets moving fast. Yes.

Heather, are you into this? Yes, but I'm not on Patreon. No, you don't have to be. No, no, you have to join. Yeah, actually join the Patreon. Join, what are you doing, Heather? OK, I'll just have to join because I want to see what people say. You're tying sailor's knots around people's wrists.

That was important to me. Wow, this is tough to hear. Well, now this is important to me. So I'll be on the Patreon too. We tie people up. I would say 60% of our stuff is not as a sign. Yeah, it's all not like a sailing class. More. It's like more.

Yeah, 65% tying people up. And we're going to go. But this is something I really think could work. Make sure, obviously you don't need to hear it from two guys over 43 years old. I made you a little younger, Gareth. What? No, you're actually right. Do not send this and give notes. Don't just say yes until you are 100% confident with

this website, because we can make it bulletproof. And I really believe this is going to work. She's going to get it. She's going to look at the website. We're going to have all your details. And then she's going to go like, ah, too bad. It's not here anymore. And they're canceling a lot of stuff.

They've moved. And then you go like, oh, that sucks. Then right away you go, let's find something else for you. Yep. Actually, I would even suggest that you maybe have a cooking class that you've researched in the Orlando area. And so you can say, How about this instead?

Send this link and go, I don't think she's here anymore. She travels a lot, but here's one that my friend also recommended. Yeah. And also why does it take four weeks to learn how to get tied up? Yeah, what's going on?

It was a once a week before. Oh, so just four classes. So why did you have to miss? Oh, you had to miss work once a day for it. Well, once a week. Yeah. OK, I got you. Because I was thinking 30 straight days of somebody going like this, and that's how you

get tied up. I'm like, after the fifth day, I'm thinking, I know how to get tied up. Yeah, I agree. I get it. Now I feel like it is 25 days not to work. Oh yeah, I didn't take a month off. Thank you. All right, Heather. Let us know because we want to do it right. All right. Yeah. Okay. Bye. Bye, buddy. And we're also brought to you by Babbel. Jake, we've talked about this before. Babbel is the science-backed language learning app that actually works.

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With the French. G. I. G. My name is Gareth. I studied in the French school for two years. Babbel helps. It really is so easy, it does not take very long, you can do it anytime.

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simple, but now you can really, really build up your business. It helps you build merch, all these things. So go to www.squarespace.com slash Gil sent me to save 10% off of your purchase of a website or domain using the code Gil sent me. Oh, we are brought to you by Hero Bread. We love Hero Bread here. Love it. Love it. We love the bread.

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without compromising flavor with Hero Bread. Get 10% off your order at hero.co and use code HELP at checkout. That's help at h e r o dot c o hey everyone producer Kevin here these next two calls and follow-up all have a few video components where the guys and I look at the images that the caller sent so if you'd like to follow along and see for yourself you can go to the episode description and the links on there will take you exactly to where the spot on the video is. This is taking way too long to explain. Picks in the description. Enjoy the calls. Hello. Welcome to We're Here to Help America's number one podcast. Don't look it up.

Can we get your your name, age, where you're called called from roughly and then we'll get into solving this problem yes now we're talking my name is Natalie I'm from Raleigh, North Carolina and I'm 31 Natalie 31 Raleigh Jake you want to ask her a weird quirk question you got something favorite shoe left or right something like that go for it. Well now I got nothing because I'm humiliated. No go on do one. Hey now what kind of shoe do you like putting on first your left foot or your right foot? Definitely my right one. Interesting. And why?

Fascinating. Alright Natalie what do you got? What's the question that's going to blow this one up? Oh boy, look out. Okay. My question is that I have a rescue dog named Chance who has some super bad separation anxiety and so that means that when we leave the house, like for any length of time, he will destroy things.

So it's a big deal. He, uh, yeah, it's, it's tough. And so he, we've tried everything. So it's a big deal. He, uh, yeah, it's, it's tough. And so he, we've tried everything. We tried medication and training, druggy daycare, all kinds of stuff. And in kind of a last ditch effort to make it work for us to leave the house, we found an article that had a funky idea in it of buying a mannequin and having stay with the dog. This feels like our pitch feels like we pitched it to the article. It feels like you've already gotten some bad advice, but okay, we'll double down.

Yeah, I'll pretend we did that. It's a great pitch. So what is the mannequin is there just to sort of be like, there's a person here. So Chance thinks there's somebody there. It's like the carpool trick, right? You throw it, you throw a dummy in the passenger seat or you wrestle at it in your gym and get made fun of. Come on, you got lockers in there. That's a real deal set.

As you say, which is true, fake lockers. There's nothing in them. Natalie, so the article said there's a mannequin that you leave home and chant sees it as its owner and feels fine. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

And so we actually did try it and it worked really well for a little bit. How do you know it worked? Just because the furniture wasn't torn up? Yeah. And we have cameras. We have like tech cameras that we watch him and he was like, yeah, he didn't do any damage and he wasn't nervous. If you have a house sitter coming to your house don't watch the tapes. We've learned whatever that person wants to do

we're looking back on year one and we've learned some lessons and one of them is yeah that person's gonna be masturbating. It's not a cool move to watch Natalie. Will turn off for sure. Yeah only. Natalie, I'm gonna show the screenshots of your pet cam to the guys. Please, please. So they can see what we're working with. Oh my god. Oh my god.

I already think I know your problem. How could you love your dog anymore? That dog is just sleeping dummy, oh my god looks like it is a Body building high school the musical extra. I agree, honey it looks it looks like a junior in high school who's in a band and is really mad at their parents because what I love is the dogs face in that second picture Has a similar sort of bashful shame that Jake has when he gets caught in his fake locker room with his little dummy buddy

By the way, I'm looking at chance Let's fucking let's tap that guy out man. Let's rip his legs. This is this so now this is a great setup By the way, the dog has a buddy. What is the question or is the comment you figured out? Yeah, you're just bragging. Yeah, so the question. This might be a brag. The question is, unfortunately it stopped working.

He started to figure out that she was not real and started to get nervous about it. It is interesting. Her name is, we've named her Kim. Okay. Kim, okay. And so The issue i would have gone trevor and headed a guy for sure with that. That's all right. I'm fine with him. It's fine I'm fine with this is this is already good brainstorming because my question is that

What can we do to make this mannequin more realistic and believable to the dogs? How far? Did we go? Well, I i've got i've got a clear first pitch you Get a recording Did we go? I've got, I've got a clear first pitch. You get a recording of talking and you put it in Kim's chest so that Kim says you can press play or you can do it from you so that during the day, everyone's well, Kim just goes good chance. Good boy.

Sit. Good boy. Come here chance, good boy. Sit. Good boy. Come here, chance. Come here. Come here. And it's not your voice or your partner's. It's a different voice that is Kim's voice. It's either it's going to be a version of me, Gareth and the shark's voice, but

I would say that's the move. We're definitely different voice. When you play it, you get the, you get Kim's voice to be higher so that Chance can't help it, his tail starts wagging, and then his brain goes, the fucking dummy's making my tail wag. Uh-oh, I'm talking about my gym now. You can't.

You keep going, you little weirdo. Ha ha ha ha. I'm revealing too much accidentally. It is. And then maybe the dog will wrestle with it and its wife will understand that that's okay. I realized, I wanted out. Once I said the fucking dummy's making your tail wag. I had to do it before, Garrett. The fucking dummy's making your tail wag.

I thought I'm dead in a way I'll never recover. Natalie, what do you think about recording something and playing it so that the way we trick we should do this with your dummy Too we should just report some voices for you I'll give you one minute to be the dummy and Man, oh really good stuff Jake. Oh Jake. Oh you pity me so good Oh, I think I hurt my back your back seems to be doing fine. Your back doesn't get hurt. Oh man. Oh, that's so good, Jake.

Good pin, Jake. Oh man, remember when you walked five miles home because you left your phone in your car and you had to bid your drink to Moses? Okay, here, we're moving on. Remember when you walked five miles with me last night? Crazy. All right, so Natalie, what do you think about

a little bit of audio in Kim? And you can be honest. Yeah, we have tried something similar. I got this like recording device that when you get near it, it goes off is the idea. Okay. Because I couldn't figure out how to how to like, you know, press a button from far away and record something. Uh, it, and I use like an AI voice that I found online, not one of ours, like you said, um, it did not really work.

It just, the logistics just didn't work. It didn't really go off consistently, but I don't know what other way to get. I think the recording is still solid, but are we looking to just change the look of the what do you think is going to work? You're looking to change the look of the mannequin? Position mannequin? This is a little bit embarrassing to admit, but we have tried, like, kind of treating her like a real person within the house. Okay, so just hold on, I'll cut you off. Please tell me you have video. Okay, so what is happening for those of you who are not piecing this together?

They've now incorporated Kim into their lives. So now they are in all that. Hold on, Natalie, in order for chance to have the experience of believing that Kim is real and Natalie's house now, they are talking to the dummy regularly. All right let me ask you this have you ever wrestled it? But hold on I'm not I'm not making a joke Gareth that that would have been my pitch and I mean it seriously because what I was gonna say is if you humanize it and

have dinner with Kim, so chances watch it and then you put Kim in either your clothes so the dog smells you guys. Yeah, this is a This is weird stuff. I know it I agree But so but you're telling me because that honestly was gonna be my next I love it. You're saying that did it insane Yeah, okay. So what happened? Committed we haven't we've just done it briefly like we'll just you know, get her a glass of water and ask her We've just done it briefly like we'll just you know get her a glass of water and ask her what she wants on TV before we leave. I would be very happy if you did that alone, and you're just saying we and the revealers.

Or you married him. Yeah, oh what I would really love is well we tried so we had dinner with her and then the reveal is you live alone. We all had a little too much to drink and Kim ended up coming in the bedroom with us. And all drugs aside, Kim and I got in a pretty serious fight. I had a huge argument. We had to call the cops on Kim. So that's not working. The audio is not working. What else have you tried Natalie?

I mean that's it. I guess I'm wondering if we need to go all in on the, having her as a house guest. Yes. Interesting. So, I mean, obviously we will probably end up there, but just because it's your instinct and you know best and we're just here pitching you, you know the dog better than we know Chance. What's in your gut that you think is going to work? And then in that zone, we could help pitch.

But do you think the more, if you humanize Kim, you change Kim's clothes, you have dinner with Kim, Kim watches a movie with you guys. You do jujitsu with Kim, whatever you want to do. Do you think chance all of a sudden is going to go, you know, I thought Kim was just a weird dummy with a wig on, but I guess I'm a fucking dumb dog. Kim's the real deal. Then I saw you guys drinking pina coladas together and I realized him is real How could this be a fake thou that's literally dancing with my mom for two hours straight?

I mean we just we just watched two movies with Kim. Let me ask a question to myself chance Would a dummy beat mom at Monopoly? Alright, let's shower Kim All right moms out here, I'm gonna sit on Kim's lap and life is good, right? So that's what we're trying to do. We're trying to tell Chance, life's good. Your Aunt Kim is here, chill out, put your head on her lap and just relax.

Aunt Kim is a great addition. And she just gets quiet. Aunt Kim. Ooh, here's something you could do, Natalie. Mm-hmm. This is Aunt Kim, oh, here's something you could do, Natalie. This is aunt Kim. Make aunt Kim leave sometimes because I think what's happening is the dog is starting to see Kim as furniture because it never leaves. Have a big goodbye.

You leave, then have somebody come knock on the door with Kim, say hi, greet, put the hand down. So Kim massages chances, head to then Then Kim's got to go to dinner. And when the dog's not looking, put it in my garage and I'll fucking tap them. Jesus Christ. I mean, me and my dummy versus Kim. Okay. Hey buddy, we got a home field advantage.

Jake said to his other dummy. Yo, yo, yo, man. Let's, let's do this. Let's do this. All right, Jake, our lockers are fake Um, I don't hate that pitch either. I don't I also think we could do an outfit change Yeah, a full outfit change. We could start coming up with a series of characters Uh shark, what do you got to what jake's point have a going away party for kim and like

Very dramatic and like okay. She's leaving for Kim and like very dramatic and like, okay, she's leaving. Yeah. Touring. She's opening for Taylor Swift. But I, but I think, you know, it's we're obviously goofing around and heightening it, but I do think it actually will work because now how you want to do it, the more fun you want to have with it of a going away party. Well, that's all for you and your partner, whoever you're with, your

friends to have laughs at it or ideally alone and film it. But the truth is the dog will believe you if you commit and if Kim leaves and then when Kim comes back in if there's a doorbell ringing and Kim's there in different clothes and you get excited, you know what Chance's tail's gonna do? Wag. Natalie, are we in the house or an apartment? What are we dealing with here? House. House. Okay. Yeah. All right. So it can be pulled off a little easier than the neighbors being like, oh cool, their dummy's outside again. So Kim's outside. Let's not worry about judgment. Yeah. We're past that. We got a weird dummy in the house. Are you saying that just because you have

a fake jujitsu set? Well, yeah, I mean sometimes I wrestle with my garage Go a character when you go into your no because sometimes my garage door is open when I'm tapping his ass off when people walk by Good stuff Okay, um, I I think that could work and I also think like adding different outfits like you could have a sombrero character Yeah, you could have a snorkel outfit. It also might be good to put Kim under the blankets on the couch like she's taking a nap. Also foods. Why don't you mix like a ham sandwich, put it on Kim's lips so that the dog smells different things coming out of Kim. I mean, I'm like, there are times where I'm like,

wow, we're really getting, we're on the same page. And then you talk about rubbing a ham sandwich on the mannequin. Like why not just rub ham? Why are you making a whole sandwich? A weakness of my game is anything involving the dummy because when I'm saying it, I'm eating your dummy sandwiches. Did you make a little subway set in there too, where you pretend to be a sandwich artist? He's gotta carb up a little bit. What I'm waiting for is the moment that you'll say a lot, Gareth, where you go, you know, Jake's right on this,

and then we'll start pitching, and I'll go like, rub ham sandwich, and I'll look at you and you'll go. Shark seems to be more with me on it. Are you making lunch? No, this is just a sandwich to rub on the mannequin's mouth But then like the point of it is is we all know a dog has a great sense of smell Yeah

So if it smells like a plastic dummy It is a plastic dummy if it smells like a little bit of ham a little bit of Bo Well, then it might be a person It's just the way you're subtly throwing in the idea now that we're like rubbing our armpits on. Like you're saying these things like they're just easy. Like you are now talking about going for a jog and coming home and sweating Kim. No, what I am saying is going for a jog

and putting your shirt on Kim after. Okay. So Natalie, what are you thinking? And if you're thinking wardrobe changes, if you're thinking of going out, walk us through where your head's at. Let's let you talk a little bit. Yeah, my, I like the smells.

I think that's a great idea. We have not tried the leaving. We do currently keep her in the garage, but we haven't made a show of her leaving. It's kind of just been, you know, put her in the garage. Yeah. The other thing that I want to think about too, is that I'm, I have a one-year-old and I don't know how to,

I want to make sure he's not scared. Well, you got to, listen, it's a little late in the game. It's a big new review. I totally agree. Kevin, how about the kid? I mean, honestly, yeah, we solved it. And then you're like, the only problem here is then the more I help the dog, the more I damage my son. Yeah, yeah. The problem is I run a daycare in my house. And the thing is really weird,

I have a ham-covered doll in here with a wig on. It should point out that when I was Hamming Kim, my child started to cry. Hamming Kim, title. Title. Hamming Kim. But, so here's what I gotta say. We can't touch the one-year-old thing,

but honestly, a one-year-old is so... We gotta fix this problem before it turns three and a half. Yeah, I think you're in an okay zone. But you got about a year and a half to fix this, because what you don't want is a five-year-old being like, my parents have this weird dummy, and then as we've known in this show, other people use these dummies for other things. I'm not talking about Jiu-Jitsu, I'm talking about the lady who throws tires. So there are people who have these dolls for

the wrong reasons, Natalie, and you just need one playdate or one parent to pick up their kid and go, what's going on? And you go, oh, that's Kim. And they go, right. Yeah. Yeah. I am covered down in the middle of your living room and my kid was sleeping over here. Not again. Yeah. You got to do what Jake does and hide it from your kids' friends. But no, I think that's right. I think if the kid were to be five and you were to be like, did you even say hi to Kim? She's over. That would start to get weird.

I really believe, Natalie, that if you do a version of saying good-bye, because I think what's happening is I think Chance has outsmarted the game because I think it's all smell-based. I'll tell you what that dog smells. Your garage, your living room. If all of a sudden the dog started, started smelling unique smells with Kim,

it just wouldn't know how to judge it. If there's different shirt, because it's basically like you're taking taking something storage out of your garage and bringing it in but that first photo We saw which was brilliant that dog was Comfortably had a happy to have Kim there. So and then sitting next to it with the sad eyes He was like got that photo now tells me he goes. I think he fucked me here. I think this is a dummy This this dummy doesn't smell like ham. Yeah, I I don't believe this is a person anymore So I think my real thing is clothes. Yes Have it leave have it's going to a concert whatever you want to do

Swift yeah open for Taylor Swift. I think that'd be great But I think that I think this doll needs to be covered in five different smells One of them should be after a workout One should be ham Three could be something else for could be something else five should be a you just gave was amazing a neighborhood park I think you should sure ham and three others That's the name of my autobiography Five things with Jake Johnson.

One. Sweaty shirt. Two. Ham. Three will be, three, others. Three, and then there's a few others. Thank you so much. And three others.

So, Natalie, what do you think you're going to do? I think, yeah, I think I'm going to definitely beef up, ham up the smells. That's a great idea. Food. Okay. Food. Yeah, definitely saying goodbye to her, having her. Yeah. What about this also? What if in Kim's pockets you put a couple of the dog's treats? So when you're gone, the dog has a little bit more of a mission.

And you know what you could do before you go, put Kim's hand out and have Kim give the treat to the dog Oh, that's good. Just establish. So here's what I think you could do for us Natalie Whatever you do just you know doc you just tell us what if you want to film it great if not not But a photo of what the final thing is if you want to send a video of you ham in Kim's face Obviously, I would love to see it. Gareth Leso, Shark, Shark would like to. But whatever you want to do, what we'd really love to see is some of the pet cam footage of the dog alone

after you have gone that maybe we could speed through it. So we could play it, but I'm like fast forward to see if it works. A couple more costumes, too And I would also say maybe get a fake beard involved Hmm. Hmm. That's it and I'm walking away from a room full of people Wow Yeah, the pitch are you talking about drawing it on or getting like a weird pirates thing? Well, I think there's you know, there's some daylight between those two options, but

I would say like, are you talking about getting there like the glue and putting it on? No, no, no, just like a little beard you wear. So Natalie, will you walk us through specifically what you're going to do and when you're going to try to do this? Yes, we, I mean, next week, because we, I'm, I'm staying at home with my one year old right now, so we and Bring Kim in greet her Get her get her things that she needs have her like you said give Hands a treat great that are on the couch get her a little plate with a ham sandwich

Great rub it rub it up in there a little bit. Oh, and will you take a Charge go on Rub it rub it up in there a little bit. Oh, and will you take a Go on Will you take a couple pics of that, please definitely? Yeah, the police are gonna need to see those eventually anyway Natalie I'll send you pictures me hamming my dummy To me hamming my dummy, you said you were hamming yours. No, hamming my dummy, no. We just go into Jake's fake locker room set and there's just Jake and the dummy wrestling over ham. All right, so Natalie, keep going.

You're gonna ham up Kim and then what? Yeah, and then we'll leave. Hopefully maybe her hand open with treats that Chance can get after we leave. Lockers. And yeah, and then go hopefully maybe her hand open with treats that chance can get after we leave and Yeah, and then go and and hopefully come back to a happy dog And this is a win give her a big show to say goodbye. I think it's a win for us I mean, we've got her dressing up this dummy and multiple outfits and putting gym clothes on it while she rubs ham on its face With treats in the pockets. I mean for us we're doing great. I don't know about the reality of what she's dealing with. You

don't think it's gonna work for real? Gareth, or did you just want to make it? I worry, here, my genuine concern is that you're gonna have to keep refreshing the dummy a lot. The smells. Let me finish. Okay. You're gonna have to keep refreshing the dummies outfits and stuff like that in order to keep the dog in your court because chance is smart and you're right Jake's right you might be going with different cured meats you know one of you know one a week something like that you could do a little turkey a little salami right now we're paying for daycare and so we're happy to put in consistent effort but I think the only time you make a change is when chance all of a sudden goes wait a second

The next day he goes is that salami on Kim's lips dummy ain't eating salami We've definitely outstayed our welcome with our guys for you Kim. I mean what just was said is not okay Natalie we appreciate you. Please follow up. I'd really like yes, and now please Very invested in this. Yeah, but he got shark. You want shark look like he wanted to say something. I would walk Kim to the car with your dog, put Kim in the passenger seat and say goodbye, Kim, and let the dog see Kim driving away.

It's- Well, Kim can't drive away because Kim's a dog. Guys, guys, I love you and Natalie. I love you We are off the map. You know, we are actually that hold on. I'm gonna walk something. What are your neighbors? Sorry, let's go back to ham sandwich. Yeah Ham did not help anything now. I'm not saying that I got a real pitch I'm what Kevin just said cuz I think there's something they could be in tie balloons around her and let her float to space I'd like to watch it. I

Would say take Kim in the car just like Kevin said then bring Chance in the car so you guys then drive and he's thinking The fucking dummies in the front seat go to a dog park do day, whatever you do, but Kim is sitting shotgun. Yeah. Yeah. And then guess what? Kim's going to smell different. Leave the windows down.

Now Kim smells like the outside air. Give her a cigar. Oh my gosh, she smokes pot. Kim smokes pot in the front seat. Kim's going through a phase of weed? Cool. With those bangs? Kim's got a ball on.

It's all fun until the cops pull her over. What's going on? You're like, the dummy smokes weed, officer. Let me introduce you to Chance. Would you like some road ham? Yeah, it's the dummy's cocaine, not mine, your honor. The dummy is a huge cokehead. I've been sober for two months.

So Natalie, I think we could win here. Gareth is less enthusiastic, but I actually think it's gonna take a little bit of work. I'm excited. But I do think it's ridiculous, but I think the follow-up of this is gonna be positive. I do too, until you drive the dummy to the dog park. I think up until then we were pretty good.

But I do think you're going to have to keep shifting it, and that's part of the game, and then what's gonna happen is Chance is gonna slowly get less and less anxiety and then he's gonna be fine. And then there's gonna be a moment he doesn't need Kim. Yeah. I like that. I like it too. And then if you need to send Kim anywhere,

I have a buddy who would love to. Thank you so much for the call, we appreciate it. Thanks Natalie. Thank you so much. Great call. Bye. Bye. This year Dell Technologies' Back to School event is delivering impressive tech with an inspiring purpose.

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Book today on Booking.com on the site or in the Booking.com app. Bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez. Bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez, bez. Hello? Hi there. Welcome to We're Here to Help, American number one podcast. Don't look it up. Can we get your name, age, and where you're calling from, please? I'm going to go by Kara. I am 40 and I live in Los Angeles.

I am in the Shokes. Sherman Oaks. And you do a voiceover for a living because you got a great voice. A great voice. I do not. I do have a, I used to stream on Twitch, so I do have a mic that's like decent. Sounds great. Boy, it's very good considering the calls we've, we just had a call where someone sounded

like they were calling from underground. So Kara 40 from the Oaks, can you walk us through what's happening? So around last year, my husband and I moved to the Shokes. We were excited. It was a larger place. We could have family stay over, people visit for the holidays. Last Christmas, a little before Christmas, I had my family in and my cousin and her husband were in town and we invited them over for a game night. I kind of like envisioned this like fake sitcom, we're all around the table laughing, we drink hot cocoa and like everything's great.

Kind of didn't go that way. They were late there was like all these other issues and the thing why I'm calling about with my question is they made a comment about our refrigerator. I didn't expect that. Fridge is new to the show. My husband was kind of shocked too. Um, you know, we had from our old place was a smaller, older building, typical of LA Valley. And when we moved, it was a much larger space for the refrigerator, but you know, moving costs money and we're not rich.

So we just put the refrigerator in there and my cousin's husband says. The weird, weird little fridge in a big spot. Yeah. You've got a tiny fridge, big space, big space, little fridge. Yeah. We could say it four more different ways, but big whole little cold box. We're not going to. I agree.

Cause it's about. Exactly. Thank you. I think we ran out of ways to say it, to be quite honest with you, but keep going. So let's hear about this little fridge in the big space. I'm going to share the picture that you saw. Wait, but unless you got something new, is there any other info before we see the

penny? Well, so the husband, my cousin's husband, we'll call them Fred and Ethel. Okay. Says when are you going to get a grownup fridge? Oh, ouchie, ouchie. You got a baby box. Wow. Baby ice box.

All right, Fred. Fred and Ethel. Yeah. I really want to show the picture. All right. Yeah, well, just so we don't get too much on your side, let's have a... Oh, wow. You guys are supposed to be on my side.

We are on your side, but give us a second to actually. We need to set the scene. Give us a second to actually realize what it. That's terrible. It's not. Here's it's not great. It is far smaller than I imagined it would be. Also, there is a very specific cut

in with the cabinetry of where the refrigerator should fit in. I also feel like you didn't really try. I feel like you get a little more centered. Well, we did have it, this is when they were taking it away. We had a microwave on top of it. That helps. Okay, I got you. So you made it look, and you probably had like brooms on the right of it or something like that. Yeah, maybe another fridge. Yeah, it didn't look like this. Yeah. Maybe another fridge. Yeah. It didn't look like it. Maybe you had a fridge next to it.

Maybe you had a second fridge there to take up that extra space that's very vacant. And so, long story short, your cousin's coming, but you got that cool stove next to it. I'm starting to get a sense of this place. And you know, we have a wall oven. Yeah, it looks cool. It looks cool. I know. It's cool. It's got that room, but you're right.

It's that cool LA vintage apartment vibe. Your cousins come, you're hoping for the families are all having a great time. It's not what's happening with Fred and Ethel. They're late. They're not playing games. And then he says, when are you going to get a grown up fridge? Yeah. And where did that, where did that comment come from?

Was it like, how's your morning? Did you sleep well? When are you going to get a grown up fridge? Or was it because mostly a bomb like that, there's some battling beforehand, though. No, like we were sitting at the dining room table. I don't know if he's just like looked over like it's open. So like the kitchen is there. There's like a breakfast bar. I don't know if he's just like looked over like it's open. So like the kitchen is there. There's like a breakfast bar. I Don't know. It's also a black fridge and white walls

But the fridge doesn't work, but but we're in transition. We just move that yeah Yes, we need money. It's just a refrigerator. Yes How is your how is the tone of when he said was it very like joking or was it like? It said very much as a dig. Yeah, for example, my dad will make a similar joke where he would go Hey, you give this fridge enough water and sunlight. Maybe it'll grow up to be a big fridge, but it's very obvious in his tone It's a joke. Yeah, but if he said it very dry, I think it would not read well. Yeah, that's true Well, it's a cousin's telling? He's not a very funny person.

That's a good line. He's older than he's in his 50s. It's not that old. Go ahead. He's not very funny. So when he said it, it wasn't like... How did it do? It didn't land well.

Especially, so I'm originally from the East Coast. They're from the East Coast. My husband was rightfully like very offended by this. He is not from the East Coast. He's born in LA. It's not a mean joke. No. Yeah.

Sure. And so just to jump in for a second second because now we got the setup. It's an interesting one. But what is the specific question? Because cousin left. You guys didn't have a big response to it later. You processed and you both said like, fuck him. So what is the specific question now?

Well, we got a new fridge. Okay. Can we see a pic of that one? Hey, look at you guys. Maybe too big. Well, we got a new fridge. Okay. Oh, can we see a pic of that one? Hey! Look at you guys! Look at that! Maybe too big.

A little big. It's honestly very big. Maybe you guys overcompensated. It looks like a guttural one. That's a guy who goes through a divorce and then gets a convertible and you're like, take your earring off, my king. You think I got a small fucking fridge? I got the biggest fridge that'll fit in the stuff.

When are you going to get a grown up fridge? I can't open the fridge doors in this. I got the biggest fridge that'll fit in the spot. When are you gonna get a grown-up fridge? I can't open the fridge doors in this. You know what I mean? You can't use the kitchen. But you got a fridge. This is where embryos are stored. This is a lab-brained fridge. There's three dead bodies in there.

Okay, so you got a massive new fridge. You got what I like to call a fuck you fridge. Exactly. You guys don't like to be teased. Okay. Okay, so you got a massive killer fridge. It's working for you. Is there a kitchen behind the fridge?

There's a kitchen table in there. So then what is the... So you've solved the problem. So what is the question? So when I originally emailed, I was like, how do I launch this? So what is the, so you've solved the problem. So what is the question? So when I originally emailed, I was like, how do I launch this to, for them to see? So I like, how do you have your coming out? Yeah. Yeah.

Interesting. I kind of want to be a little petty and I replaced the call. Yes. Yeah. It is. But things have changed a little bit is they'll be here visiting in about five weeks. Wait, they're coming back. They're, they are coming back.

So I thought the visit was, I thought the visit was bad. Well, his daughter lives in Los Angeles, so he's, but she's having a baby. So they'll be here for a week. Oh, but they don't stay with, they don't stay with you though. They don't stay with us. No, I would know. No. Okay.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. His daughter's having a baby. Yes. Yes. So there's a lot of baby stuff. There's a lot of celebrating this. You went from a baby fridge. He said, when are you going to get a grownup fridge?

You could celebrate when he comes over where you have like- A fridge reveal? Yes, like the decorations of like the adult fridge. It's a big one. What kind of fridge is it? It's a Samsung. So you can have it, it's a Samsung banner. And you could really overdo it so that it's a celebrate.

When he walks in, it's a Samsung. And guess what? He's a big boy. Yes. He's a grownup. Yes. We could do the same vibes he's going, it's a Sam. So, and guess what? He's a big boy. Yes. He's a grownup. Yes. We could do the same vibes he's going to do with the baby. A bunch of photos with you guys in it.

I also think you could do like, if, I mean, you know what he likes. Like if he likes a certain beer or a certain drink, you can go, oh yeah, we have a bunch of it on the right side door of this. Do you need some ice? It has an ice maker beneath it. You know?

It does have an ice maker. What do you think about something like this? How petty do you wanna get? What's the zone you wanna live in? I feel like that might be the way. Cause originally I was like, when I didn't know they were coming, it was like, okay, how can I put something on the internet?

Like he's not on the internet, but that my cousin would see and like somehow mentioned to him, like they got a new fridge so I think this might be the way like I schedule another game night okay and then I just have like blue balloons everywhere I also think you want to get a sash that goes over it that says grown-up fridge like it won Miss America So here's an idea and this I'm only saying this now because you're our friend you're a friend of the show So we had one where somebody called him where they wanted to do a whole prank about a guy had cheated on her

It was like a real estate agent and she was going back to see the house and we were planning this whole character. Yes Yeah, I listened to that episode. Yes, and the fear of that one afterwards was what if it's not a big deal for anybody But her yeah That's what I was thinking so my only fear is if you do all this and you're like, it's a grown-up fridge Samsung had me and he goes what are you talking about? And you go, you remember you said and he goes listen I'm from fucking Boston we make mean jokes what did I even say my name is Tommy I'm from Boston and I went to the National School in England what I was born in South they do an English accent where I'm from near the Cathedral over on 4th Street the hell that's a hell. That's where I'm from down in the south.

I love Dunkin Donuts. I love Matt Damon. All right. All right, Tommy. I love Kaczynski. Tommy, hey, do you remember when you made that comment about the fridge? Yeah. No.

No. So here's what I'm worried about. I'm worried about if you do a whole thing and he doesn't remember. So here's my pitch to you. Let's do something subtle and weird. That's just a dig to him. And that is make a little plaque on your fridge that says voted number one, a adult fridge in America from Samsung.

Uh, so that there's like the idea that this fridge specifically, when he said like, when are you going to grow up and get an adult fridge? Is that what his line was? Yes. So it's number one, number one adult fridge, you know, grown up fridge, blah, blah, blah. So that when he goes in there, he sees it and then he has to bring it up to you. So he can go, oh, very funny. And then you could say, what are you talking about?

And he goes, remember that comment I made? And you go, no. There's that, okay, so far. What are your thoughts on that? I like it. Okay. And I get it. Yeah.

Because I think. I expected a bigger reaction. No, I like it because it's like, we are talking about a big, we're talking about a big swing. To one person. To one person. You do the whole signage.

But he didn't wrong you. Yes, but you do the whole signage. Then you have a game night and people are like, what's with the Samsung sign? And you go like, seven weeks ago. OK, he made he made a joke and everyone's like, chill out. And by the way, if people saw pictures of that other fridge, I'd be like, he was right. Yes.

So I think we should do it. It looks like a wizard shrank your actual fridge. But I think we should do a specific attack on him. What do you think? Well, what do you go ahead? So, so I think this is probably where we're going to go. I will say there is the long con. Talk to me.

The long con is you get over to their house. Now we're talking you somehow you end up on the East Coast. You go to their house and you dig at their fridge and you do the like, jeez, little baby fridge. Why don't you get a mini fridge? This is the kind of fridge that we keep in our room next to our table. We have this one in our bedroom for LaCroix's. What if I get like a magnet for their fridge too that says something like, not a grown up fridge or. Or what if you get a magnet on yours that you just write grown up fridge? Cause I mean, I think that would work because one it's removable for anyone else who comes

over. I don't want people to come over and be like, I think she's a little out there. What if you asked her for a picture of their fridge and in a magnet you have a picture of their fridge on your fridge? Because you're definitely winning the fridge game. Yes. With this.

I am. I really am. It doesn't even look like it opens. I mean, you guys really, you guys really took this, like this fridge has to be like $1,500. How about a sign on your fridge that says my fridge is bigger than yours? I like that.

I think keeping it in the confines of fridge. Uh, my fridge makes your fridge look little. Yeah. Yeah. My fridge makes your fridge look like a mini fridge. What do you think about something like this? Fridge specific. Never thought I'd say that to you.

How about your fridge is small? Well, I think I could get their daughter to send me a picture of the fridge. She would probably be like. Why don't you get a picture of their fridge and then put something in there that's like that. Like, look at this tiny ass fridge. Ha ha, tiny fridge.

Yeah, how about this? You get a photo of your fridge, and then you get a photo of theirs, and then you get one that you say with your fridge and his you say Fridge Jr. Yeah, baby fridge. Yeah, fridge Jr. Little fridge. Little fridge.

He goes, wait, is there a photo of my fridge and you have little fridge? And you go, yeah, you have a little fridge, dude. I mean, you got a tiny fridge. When are you going to get a grown-up fridge. And then you say it back. Yeah. So what do you think about this idea because I think we might have hit a home run here or at least hit the ball. I think that that's the home run. And so getting a photo from his daughter of his fridge. His little baby fridge. Calling it little fridge and then having a sign on your fridge that says big fridge. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then if he comments on it, you say, when are you going to get a grownup fridge? Oh, it's just, I want to motivate you to get a grownup fridge one of these days. That's it. That's petty.

It's fun. It's easy. That's petty, it's fun, it's easy, it's weird. I would also stock your, like, save your shop until the day that they're coming over so your fridge is locked and loaded. Yeah, with stuff. Because I will say, it is a little big, but it's not even full.

You bought a crazy ass fridge. You couldn't. Cara, it is, I mean, if you could, Kevin, bring up the other image of their ass fridge. You couldn't. It is. I mean, if you can bring up the other image of their first fridge. I mean, it is absolute. Now put them side by side. I mean, we are talking about Barry Bonds when he came into the league and when he left it. We've got your tiny fridge there and then we've got your monster. I mean, it is literally the surface area of two of your previous fridges. You overcompensated for sure.

It's about double the size capacity. It is a huge ass fridge. You got a half. I think you do, I think we do the photo of his fridge, little fridge and big fridge and you end it there. What do you think? What are you gonna do? I think that's what I'm gonna do,

and then I'll be definitely sure to share with you guys. But I knew this was the place to go. I was like, I was looking at everything else. Yeah, this is for them. Well, we appreciate the call. We're excited to see the follow-ups, and you were right, this is perfect for us. Thank you. Thank, we appreciate the call. We're excited to see the followups. And you were right. This is perfect for us.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys. I can't wait to listen. Bye bye. Well, you just heard it. ["Biz, Biz, Biz shark producer Kevin. I got Jake with me. Gareth is probably in these. He's he's M.I.A. straight up. He's M.I.A. Yeah, he was supposed to be with us and he's missing. But we're happy to have you.

Yes, I'm happy to be here. Thank you. So Jake doesn't know who this is. I obviously do. Can you remind Jake and the listeners who you are and what your first call was about? Yes. I'm Heather from Orlando. I went to the cooking class. Oh yes. Heather, how's the website? I was doing those emails with you guys a little bit and then I fell off.

So the website turned out great. I joined the Patreon and people on the Patreon, yeah, were like giving feedback and helping Caitlin with it. The Patreon's fun. I'm not gonna lie, it's a good community. It is, it is. I'm glad I'm on there. So I sent it to my boss Tuesday Tuesday night and we recorded Monday afternoon. No way. Oh the website looks so good. Oh my god. Okay the Friendly Shark making food that will make you say mmm. So shout out to Caitlin for making this site Heather we're looking at it right now. It's thefriendlyshark.squarespace.com. Caitlin made this look incredible and it looks so legit. Yes, it does.

What people are saying is really good, how it works. There's a bunch of testimonials and how it works set up. And I'm pretty sure these photos are from listeners that sent us photos of their own food. First of all, shout out to the Patreon and everybody in that community who helps with this and Caitlin. This looks so good.

So if you're listening, check it out on YouTube just to see this right now. It's very good. Okay. So I'm embarrassed because I rewatched our call before calling in now and I was saying like we got to be careful careful guys she's really smart the reveal is your boss is not very smart you work for a very dumb individual she goes like this sounds good bye she said like She said like this isn't the right website. What?

She was like this. She was like this one's in Nashville and I guess she closed it and I said, oh, let me look at it. And then I was like, oh, you just have to scroll down. It was in Orlando and I kind of had to explain it to her. Like looks like it's a traveling cooking class. Looks like you missed it. And, oh, and she was like, hang on.

She was like, this says friendly sharks question mark. She's like, why would it be called friendly sharks? And you go, honestly, I have no idea. Oh, we're seeing the text right now. I'm putting up that screenshot Heather were It says friendly sharks question mark and you say I think that's just the company title lol Your boss says I don't think that is the right website It just says it's in Nashville and then you say oh shit. Let me take a look

You know this sums up our show we put so much effort in and the person goes, what the hell is happening? What is the friendly sharks in Nashville? And then you just go, anyway, never mind. And she goes, forget it, I asked, this was stupid. And you go, all right, it's a victory for the podcast. Well, I sent her one that's in Orlando. And what do you mean? Wait, not from the friendly sharks? You sent a different word or word I sent her like, well, maybe you could go to this one. Wait a second, Heather. You're talking about a whole different website for a cooking class. No, no, no.

So after it is, yes, I sent her this website and we're like, oh, darn, you missed it. Don't worry. I understand. Go to, oh darn, you missed it. Don't worry. I understand. You should go to this one. Now I get it. So you're the one you took was friendly sharks. So that's now done. She can't do friendly sharks, but you said, hey, do this other one.

And she was like, sounds fun. I'm kind of interested, but you, your problem has been 100% solved. Um, yes. Heather, without the pauses, this is a massive win for the show. Well, I wanted to point out, it was the first pitch. Well, sometimes you hit a home run on the first pitch.

You don't need to see seven always. Yeah, so that, I mean, good job. Thanks. Thank you, because I couldn't have done this on my own. I am sad the Garf isn't here for this victory. Look at Heather. I'm getting a phone call right now from one Gareth Reynolds. I'm switching your phone. Tell me it's too late.

Gareth, we're doing the follow up with the cooking website. I thought Jake said he couldn't do it. Yeah, he's on he's doing it right now we've been texting Gareth alright one second okay he's gonna join right now Heather yeah pretend it went bad

pretend it went bad Heather you lost your job got it got it got it yeah but I will say before the show's insane you haven't finished perm in your hair You are midway through So Garrett you you chasing these new hairstyles. This one's in this is not what are you? I was just hanging out. Oh

You said you couldn't do for I know but then we texted Kevin kept saying he's got something. So then I said, I'll do an ever Gareth said you good for five. I said, I'll jump out at five. We can just do some ads. We finished getting any of those. Weird. Then he said, this went on. But just as a heads up and we can trim this part out. This is Heather from the cooking class that she showed her boss and Caitlin made a truly great website.

Okay. So it's not on the website. So the website and the pitch we've already established was a good move. Okay. But Heather, the floor is yours. Sorry, it's kind of hard to joke around. That's what I didn't mean anything by that to start. I just wanted Gareth not to come in here and

Have a tone that he didn't know because his hair is very different and that threw me so I apologize Jay, I apologize Jake you live in a shanty near a fake locker room with a tackle The website was fine, um like I said, my boss is really smart and she did kind of see through it. But it's not Caitlin or the patrons fault. It's truly good. No, it's not your fault. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not your fault. Like I shouldn't have messed around with this in the first place. Um, I'm the one that kind of chose to lie in the first place That we could pitch that we could write a letter, uh, or do something from our end where we

Honestly guys, I think you've done enough Okay No Okay, uh No Yes, Heather your performance was excellent. He just sniffed it but Heather, holy cow the Academy Award goes to you Gareth No doubt you were great I'm just not going In no script you were great. You're great. It's just this show has become jackass. This is now, nothing is okay. Everything's crazy.

How did you know that, Garin? There was no way. Huh? Was it me? Was I too excited? It would just be very, yes. And it would be very strange to be like jump on Let's go

You're right Anyway, Heather Yeah, yeah, you're right. I mean I will say we had a good plan the your name is rising She was she was great. I thought her performance was so good and I was all over the place because I wouldn't have been laughing. Yeah. I blew it. Jake, you were you really you could have just yeah you should when I jumped out you should have been like this is what you should have done. Okay. Gareth you look crazy but I honestly I wish I could get into that

but we're actually talking to Heather who has a pretty difficult on stop really fast Let's roleplay. I'm gonna come on and you'd be Jake. Let's run it again. Are you right? How do I turn my screen off really fast? I'm gonna hit a lot of you Stop video on the bottom left hit and and chat I'm not even gonna do that cuz I'm gonna end up hanging up. I'm gonna do this. Okay, great. Okay, ready? So Heather and you guys are forming the plan. I just don't even know what to say to you in this situation And oh hey Jake. Yeah Jake look

So, okay, I don't even this is actually really strange that you just jumped on mid-call it your hair looks fine It doesn't really bother me that um Okay Go ahead can we just focus up here? Yeah, absolutely. Um, so Heather, um You remember Heather Jake we made the fake website for to because she made up the cooking class for her boss I'm sorry to interrupt. It's like every word out of your fucking mouth stabs me in the heart a little more. I know.

I know. We're not going to air this. We're not going to use this. I mean, we just really want to say sorry. I mean, yeah. Sorry. It's not going to pay my rent, but sure. Well, how about this?

How about this? What we can do is we can, and Jake, I'll bring you up to date after this, but what we can do is- I have been, Mo. No, no. Hold on. What we can do is after the show Jake, I'll bring you up to date after this. But what we can do is no no, hold on. What we can do is after the show, like we can easily start a GoFundMe for you. I honestly will give you my part of the Patreon.

We've been working our asses off on that. I bet Jake would too. Um, you know, we could just definitely like try to set you up. Um, you know, I know Jake, Jake doesn't care about that. I call bullshit. I call bullshit. Basically. So what? Why? Because you did a very good job.

Jake, what are you going to do? You could click this and be like, next time on we're here to help. And then it's like the third member of this. She's good. She's very good. There's going you like the third member of this? She's good. She's very talented. Heather's going to take me out of a job. We might have to bring Heather out. Heather, you might have just turned into another Connor.

We might have to bring you on for a call at some point. We really should. Oh my god, yes. Because your acting is really good. You know what we could really do is bring Heather in if we ever need like a ringer. We're doing something coming in. So that time, I love that you made an acting choice. You decided to get nasty with it.

You didn't repeat. It was very good. Yeah. Gareth, you were great too. I think what we learned is I screwed up the first one. I got excited seeing you, Garf. We did the ads without you. Shark was great. Shark was great.

I can only imagine the amount of shrapnel I took on the ads. Did you do an intro without me? We did. Gareth, we, we did. Gareth, we didn't mention you. Okay. All right. Well, that hurts too, honestly. Uh, Heather.

I did the intro. So wait, what happened? What is the actual update? I have a real, I have the update. It went great. It worked. Oh Jesus. Big win for us.

Okay. Let's do something funny. Let's do something funny. We just happened. So this, this calls over Gareth, it's a big win. We won big. What if we stop right now and do an intro for this episode and Heather's in the intro? Please, I will pass away.

Well, Heather. So everybody, so this will then be the end of this episode and we can leave this in so that when they have heard it all. So everybody, thanks for listening to this fun episode and then get ready because you've already heard the intro. So everybody, thanks for listening to this fun episode. And then get ready, because you've already heard the intro. Goodbye, everybody. We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson. And Gareth Reynolds.

The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt. And the associate producer and editor is AJ McKee. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakeo. And our video editor is John De Bruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh. Our social media director is Kaitlyn Tanwakeo, and our video editor is John De Bruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you can check out his music at oliverraleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com. The album artwork is by James Fostike. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fostike, D-I-K-E.

And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road go to garethrentlts.com Additional artwork by Patti Holland you can find them on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004 And if you'd like early access to episodes subscribe to our patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod And if you'd like to be on the show email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com All of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions