We're Here to Help - 107: The Donut King

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about politely ducking out of a potential swingers situation and a caller who takes his donut reviews very seriously. Check out his Instagram here: Instagram.com/drewrunsondonuts/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. We are back with the scarf and the shark. Wow. We've one intro without you, Jake, but it's good to have you back, buddy. I'm back. I'm back. Back from New York City. Have a good time. That was pure vacation.

Pure vacation. As good of a time as possible. Loved. I remembered how great New York is and got annoyed with how much I've been believing bullshit of like New York is falling. New York is terrible. It is not what it used to be. Where did you stay? We stayed in Manhattan on the kind of 6th Street for a while and then we stayed in Brooklyn for the end of it. There you go

The Brooklyn part I like and when I when I say that I'm square I did that when I walk it through Times Square turns me into a bad guy Really? Yeah, we did we did it my kids. It was the first time in Times Square. We weren't times square a bunch Yeah, I wild I can't what yeah, it's like I'm a sweaty mosh pit. Yeah, Kevin, you know, that's like that's Kevin's like I should move there. Yeah. That's my element. You're talking about a sweaty mosh pit that I could live in it? I mean, those are, that's the Pacific Ocean for the shark.

Yeah, that really is. Are you working when you go there? Are you able to get, are you like, are you sneaky? I know you, you're, you're mixing in some work. Always been. I mean, it's the beauty of cell phones. Yeah. I go like this, Hey guys, I gotta check directions on this. I was gonna say, I bet you're a cover-upper. I do the cover-up sometimes.

Yeah. I just do this. I gotta just, I go, alright, so you guys wanna go to the Sephora, yeah? And my girls will be like, yes. And I'll go like, alright, I think that's on 47. Let me check. And they'll go, what are you typing? I'm like, Sephora still. Sephora! It's been five minutes and they'll go, let me- It keeps autocorrect to get to success. Let me just get on the phone really fast and call Sephora. Okay, so the problem with the second act of my-

How about this? Do you ever do this? Are you ever out to eat? And do you ever go, oh, I gotta go to the bathroom again. Always. And then you go to the bathroom, maybe do a quick pee, but then you're in there for like three minutes just catching up on stuff. Yes, always, always. The sneak reward is tough. But the problem with our line of work is it's really fun.

So when you're in a project and you're excited about it, I mean I know Gareth, you're the same as me, but our brains are constantly moving. So you're like, I'm at dinner, I'm present, I love everybody here, I'm excited. There is a rat in the cage is going like, let me just let it out for a little bit. And you never want to be the reason something's taking time because there's so much time that goes into all this stuff. That's just like ridiculous. So it's like, if you are the one who can like be in the responsive position,

it's like, let's go. Yeah. It's like jujitsu. I love you, bro. I love you, man. We got to get into the show. Let's get into the do it. Let's get excited. We're really fast. Shark, where's your body at? Big guy, what are we looking at? No spoilers.

But what kind of budget were we talking for gifts? Wow. That's the attitude. It's the attitude. Yeah. Was it like 100 100 200 or 400 500? Guarantee that I mean I'll tell you that you ever heard of a place called the 99 cents to it like three things Hey, thank you for your service at the Dollar General my man Cool, I think as a gift Gareth and Jake gave me old hats from their They gave me car fresheners that don't have any sense in them.

Dude, this thing really smelled like bananas for a while. Mine smelled like a Dollar General store. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado. Hello. Hi, welcome to the show. Can we get your name, please? Hi, let's go with Veronica. Ooh, 90s sitcom flirty, Veronica.

And where is Veronica from, New York City? No, actually far south of there. I'm in the Atlanta, Georgia area. Ah, ATL, Dirty Birds. No, actually far south of there. I'm in the Atlanta, Georgia area ATL dirty birds, but she's gonna move to New York one day for a big job opportunity And she's gonna go to Times Square Because she's gonna be overwhelmed and she's gonna have a box of her stuff and she's gonna be around all the big signs that she's Gonna spin around and go like whoa, what is this place? Yeah, but then she's gonna meet a guy with kind of long hair who's about six foot two

Who's really sensitive in a really cool jacket and things are going to start. That's when the next chapter starts. Well, that already happened. Oh, Veronica, the floor is yours. So, I have a bit of a conundrum. So, my husband and I were really close with another married couple and they are really great. My husband's best friends with the wife, I'm really close with the husband, all four of us hang out. We're

we're a nice little group here but we're a part of a larger friend group and in that larger friend group they started a while back like months ago sort of assuming that the four of us were swinging. And we thought that was funny. So we decided, oh, let's lean into the joke. Veronica, real quick, Jake and I did make the same assumption when you said friends with the husband and friends with the wife. That so did the shark, by the way, he went like this. Yeah, when you said he's a great friends with the wife, I think all of us went like, beard scratch. Okay, sorry to cut you off. So they said that, they started that rumor sort of, you leaned into it. Keep going. Yes. So we thought it was funny. So we kind of would lean into it and

like make little comments because we just thought... We leaned into it. My husband would have sex with her. And then I had sex with her husband. And we would just, as a joke, we would have sex every other weekend. I married her husband, we moved into one house. It's a joke. It's what we call a goop. And then my question is, is how do I go back to my old life? Okay, so keep going.

Well so we just went and I know I'm painting such a picture and y'all are just going to be like, y'all are gonna be like y'all are definitely uh y'all are definitely swinging but we're not uh we went on a cabin trip with the two of them uh for her 30th birthday um very recently and I've kind of been a little bit over the joke for a while uh because where it gets a little let me guess your husband and her are very into the joke you're like let's stop and he's like we're gonna slow dance one more time to our favorite song. Yeah Really? It's all three of the other ones except for me they're all really into the joke and the reason for that is because

The other couple are kind of actually involved in that life. Okay, and So this is your husband. He would honestly probably be open to it. But I know he would Veronica, you're living a nightmare. We gotta get you. This is a great call. I'm sorry to keep interrupting. I'm just getting excited.

So basically, you know, we come back from the cabin trip, everyone had a stage that if we hadn't already all four just like fuck each other that we were going to on the cabin trip, it didn't happen. But a lot of jokes were made. And there were no other people around. It was just us four and the guys kept making jokes about the other girl like getting naked and like doing stuff. And and like I really felt like I had to almost push To make sure it didn't happen and really be like no no no no no

And me and my husband have talked about it since we got back and he is very okay Uh, you know if you don't like the joke we'll just stop But I need to find out how to kill this joke with the two of them without or a call Holy shit, that is a problem. I gotta say guys to find out how to kill this joke with the two of them without offending them or upsetting them. Interesting call, holy shit. That is a problem. This might be, I gotta say guys, Veronica, you're part of the guys here.

This might be a top five all time setup. Great setup. It's a great setup for us because it's a real pickle. It's a really tricky one. And it is like, let me ask you this. So when you said that to your husband, because you sort of said the vibe was maybe there with your husband being a little okay with it, you mean okay with the joking or do you mean okay with maybe swinging?

So a little bit of both. We've had discussions. We've never brought anyone in, but we've had discussions about like the potentiality of bringing in someone else. And he's really just like sexually open to experimenting. He's never done it before, but he'd be open to doing it like with me and with someone else. And really his biggest thing is, you know, he always just wants me to enjoy myself as much as I can. And he feels like if we brought in someone else, I would enjoy myself more.

He sounds like a heck of a salesman. I just want you to really enjoy yourself when I'm with another woman. The long con. The whole idea is your pleasure while I'm being pleasured. Yeah. That's the equivalent of getting in trouble and saying to your mom, no matter how mad you could be at me, I promise you, I'm madder at myself. Nobody's more disappointed than me.

Before you get disappointed, let me tell you, I'm disappointed in you. Don't even say anything. Don't even bother grounded me. I'm grounded for four nights. And you know what? We're both realizing that grounded doesn't mean anything, so I'm going to go out tonight, but I feel the punishment of a grounded. I don't even need to be grounded.

I'm so down about this. So Veronica, let me just ask you. So we're starting to get a picture here and I do think Garf and I are on the same page and that is your husband's looking to swing, this other couple's looking to swing and they would like you to swing with them. Yeah. Is swinging with this other couple something you're at all interested in or is that a hard no? For me, it's a hard no. Whenever we've talked about it, me and my husband, I've always said, I don't want it to be any friends.

I don't want to know the people. I want them to be on the outside. Okay. And what does he say? Does he go like, where is he at? I mean, he's open to whatever I say. He doesn't push back. And he knows that I'm not comfortable with that for a lot of reasons,

including the fact that he and her are very close and I don't like that idea. I see where that comes from. Well, here's just the fastball is just you could, if you did feel like it were an appropriate time, you could have your third or bring in someone else now. I think that would sort of maybe satiate whatever's going on with him a little bit. And that might be the way to sort of cut that off. I do too. That's just my first. Yes. But here's a couple to get you out of the situation with that. Now, now we know where she's at. She does not want to mess around with them this call is not about maybe

Doing a three-way with somebody else This is how do I get out of this joke with this couple that you do not want to swing with here's my suggestion When it gets brought up Say yuck and make barfing sounds So if it's like this Maybe let's just call him rod where where they're like, maybe you and Rod will have a slow dance go and barf. And if the idea of being with them is gross, where they're like, maybe you two ladies can

get in the hot tub and you go and what barf? And they'll go, no, no, no. Like you guys could hook up and you'd be like, yeah, I would love to barf by touching her. Like we're friends, but maybe we could all swap and what I'm going to barf in a hotel room. Jake is what Jake is pitching right now. Veronica is a catchphrase that that could be a catchphrase that a two it has the stigma of. I'm not into you guys sexually because you gross me out.

So the thought of it isn't fun and flirty. It makes me want to barf. I like you guys as friends, seeing your genitals. I'm literally going to bring up my Chipotle and they go like, all right, stop the games. I'm not gross. Your pants off rod makes me truly want to barf, dude. And he'll go like, no, I know that. And I, you go, you're a great friend.

Having sex with you on a bed is like having sex with a brother. Yuck. It'll kill the flirty game. I mean, so it's not a bad idea. My only concern is there's a lot with our kind of dynamic with the four of us. And one of them is that me and the other wife are, we're very opposite physically and in that way, we're actually kind of intimidated by each other's attractiveness and we talked about it. Okay.

Walk me through what that means. Let's give some descriptions. I don't truly I'm not perving out. I don't get it. I'm perving out. You're both attractive. Perving out too. I'm doing what your husband does. I'm not perving out, but can you send us photos? We won't post. Can we go to the camera with you next time? No, perfect.

Just for a patron. We'll film it, but we won't release it on Patriot. It's fine. It's just for us. What does that mean? You're opposite, but you're intimidated by the other. Yeah. So we both kind of discussed it. She is very tall, very fit, curvy, has gorgeous hair, always looks perfect every day. I am not that person, but I am much more petite and like all of that. And she kind of wishes she was me. I kind of like don't wish I was her, but I look at her as she is extremely beautiful.

And I've said this to like everybody in the sense of like, she intimidates me with her appearance, you know? So I just don't know that they would buy that. Yeah, I get it. I will say this, Veronica, as your friend, I feel like your husband's putting you in a slightly weird spot. Well, you're intimidated by her.

You think she's a total babe. He's best friends with her. They're talking about swinging in a cabin as your friend in a bar. I'm kind of going like, I'm not loving the way this book's being written. Am I wrong, Garf? Well, I think if he's saying he gets it, I think you're not. Look, it's a bind. I mean, but I think if he's if he's saying he gets it, I think you're not. Look, it's a bind. I mean, but I think if he's if he's saying to you like,

you know, I, you know, if he's like, I want to make you feel comfortable, like we don't need to play that game anymore. I mean, that's the right attitude to try to fix it. You are getting that from him, right? Yes, 100 percent. Like, as soon as I told him I was uncomfortable he was like great but his his sort of idea of how to kill it is essentially what I've been trying to do for the past several months. He's like I'm gonna try to kill it I should marry her. Well marry her. How does he want to kill it?

I cut you off. No it's okay he was just saying essentially he would join in on what I've been doing which is when they make a joke I just don't really engage in it And so what I told him is I just don't know if that's gonna work because it hasn't worked when I've been doing it These last several months. So if he joins me the two of them feed off of each other like crazy So if they're still making the joke and like even just seeing a smile from either of us will be enough of a, I think that's right. Like, you know, I've got a question. What do we think of him physically? Not your husband, the other guy, uh, physically. I mean, he's an attractive guy. Uh, he, he and my husband actually have very, uh, similar

builds in a lot of ways. Hmm. What does that mean? And I am pervading. I don't know. You mean frame-wise? They're big, they're in good shape. Yeah, like frame-wise. Yeah, they're both like lean build, tall kind of string bean guys, you know? Okay. Okay. I think we need to get them, pardon the pun, we need to get them off of this idea. And I think there's a couple ways you want to turn them off to the idea. We need to get them off of this idea And I think there's a couple ways

You want to turn them off to the idea you want to preserve the friendship? But you want to make them not want to take it to that next level So I think we're gonna need to come up with something that sexually makes you guys less attractive I love and and the way to do that far I have I have I have three pitches. Okay fart the Jake by the way Jake's episode title barf and fart. I the first one is this fart The first one and if you say it again you have an STD. Let's say that you guys have just discovered and maybe we find a way to either get that information or we can just go ahead and do a little bit of a little bit of a little bit

of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little

bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit Say you have an STD. Let's say that you guys have just discovered and maybe we find a way to either get that information to them randomly or maybe we open up about it. That you guys have contracted an STD that you're trying to figure out what to do about

it but you maybe brought in a third and you guys have contracted something together from it. Interesting. That's my first one. My second one, and I don't love this one as much because there is kind of, I'm not even going to pick. Well, I think saying you're maybe pregnant and you're not sure might be a way to just take you out of the market for a little while. Then you could say it was.

Stryky, These are good friends. Yes. The last one is what if you just started wearing crosses? Like what if you guys are a little more religious than you were two months? Can I pitch on that really fast? Yeah. This is pretty good Garf stuff. What if you have you ever considered Parmesan in the floor?

Why don't you guys parmesan each other? So the idea, what do you think the idea of a lie to get out of it? I don't hate that. It does have to be something that they can believe as far as the pregnancy thing. Yeah, they know it's very, very well. Yeah, they know that we are very safe because we're not intending on having kids. So we're very, very safe about what we do. I don't know if they would buy that. Yeah. Yeah.

And I know that recently, well, recently I was talking with him and there's a shot we could sell it. But I don't know how comfortable my husband would feel about that. Just because I'm then roping him into it as well. And, you know, I do think recently I might've told the other guy that I wasn't sure if I wanted to do any sort of stuff with anyone in an effort to get the jokes to stop. Just being like, I'm not sure if I even want to do that or if I don't want to do that for a long time, you know, and and so I don't know if he would buy that just from what I just said. Okay, I've got a pitch.

Okay. What about the beginning of the hang you guys you go to the fake bathroom a couple of times and then early on you go like I think I ate something bad because I'm having the grossest diarrhea of my life. Jake's pictures of this call are okay. But just imagine this, but just imagine this, Gareth. You and your partner are like really flirty and you have best friends and you're like, you know the fun of it is flirting with them and you're thinking, I would love to have sex with her. My wife or my girlfriend would love to have sex with him and we're open to it.

And so part of the fun is you go like, ooh, you're going in the hot tub and then your wife's like, ooh, I wanna go with her. And then he's playing along and she's quiet. So you're thinking like, I don't know. It feels like it's going. And then she goes, before anything starts, I think I had some weird cheese.

And you go, oh yeah, why? How weird? Kinky weird? And you go, the kind of weird that makes me have explosive diarrhea. And I literally like ruined my underpants. And you go like, brrr like, I think what we're looking to do is just murder.

We're murdering boners. And so guess what? You don't care about if you're someone's friend, if you're boners rude, but you do care about it. If the whole game is flirty fun, you're saying we're friends. So friends can talk about this on a flirty date. You friends can talk about this. On a flirty date, you don't talk about it. So we're trying to make you seem gross.

Now, that I could play into. And then your husband doesn't have to do anything. And somebody goes, if they go, why don't you in what's-her-name get in the hot tub? And you go, no hot tub for me. I'm afraid I'm going to brown the water. I'll make that soup of chili. Yeah, and they go why and you go honestly I'm not in control of my butthole today and they go what does that even mean and you go when it gets flowing from this faucet There's no turnoff. Yeah

Well, there is a turnoff but that idea of you are the the the title of my pitch is boner killing and Lady boners are the same. Yes, you are making both of them go We like Veronica as a friend you couldn't pay me a million dollars to get in the sack with that woman. She's disgusting She's truly disgusting that woman. She's disgusting. She's truly disgusting. Because it will kill the jokes. I mean, that's fair. I don't know if I'd go as far as you just went. But how come? But how come? But how come? One more thing. You just made me Columbo. Because you want them to think you're attractive?

That is a problem is that I have had some physical insecurities this year. And so, you know, it's, it's a weird line to toe where like, I want to be seen as something that is attractive, but I don't want everyone to be like lining up, you know, it's a weird line to walk. I get it. But Verona, it's a clear line. You're not wrong. I hear what you're saying.

So you're battling a little insecurities, especially around this woman and you then don't want to be the diarrhea wife Say I agree with you and I hate my pitches now, but I But but Jake looking back can we just give you a moment in the Sun of your pitches this episode have been barfing farting and diarrhea because let me tell you, I'm mature. Remember we did an episode before that the kryptonite fire show is people with high IQs? I thought you were going to say, well, with the call before this, we were like, and we solved it in four minutes. And now we're in one more. We're like, all right, all right. Well, because this is hard. So overall, you want to maintain a little bit of your physical pride.

This other woman is the fucking killer beauty and she's kind of just getting under your skin a little bit. Your husband is loyal to you, but he's close to her and he likes her. And this other couple is flirty fun and you want to stop the fun, but not turn yourself into diarrhea wife. Right. Correct. Even though I love that term. Yes. flirty fun and you want to stop the fun, but not turn yourself into diarrhea wife. Right? Correct. Even though I love that term.

Yes. It's a great, it's a show title. So here's what I, here's my pitch. Okay. I got two more. Go ahead. You go, Garth. Well, I, I got, I got one that's a straightforward one and then one that's another lie. And the straightforward one is you might just want to say this. I mean, there is a world where when you're next hanging out with them and it happens, you or your husband or your husband pulls them aside or some version of that that says like, we love hanging out with you, but we are not going to swing with you guys. And what started as a joke is starting to kind of take over the friendship a little. And it's just kind of making it a little weird for us.

Like we, whatever you guys want to do is your business, but we're just not into that. We still want to be friends, you know? And then you die, Rhea. It is, it's tough. And then you die, Rhea. And then you die, Rhea. It is, it's awkward.

It's awkward. It's certainly awkward and probably one you've probably thought of doing because you called the show. The other one I would suggest is this is another lie. And you either put this on you or you put this on your husband. But one of you has just come clean to the other and told them that at your work you developed an emotional relationship with someone you work with and it kind of rocked your relationship a little bit. You've just started opening up and talking about

it and it's been pretty difficult, but you're hoping it brings you closer together, but you guys are just super focused on yourselves as a couple right now. And you just kind of tell them that in a way that maybe isn't heavy, but it's awesome. It's just in passing. This is something we're going through, but we're not, we're out of that game. The security in your relationship right now is very important because you guys just went through something maybe a little difficult. Veronica, what do you think of that?

I don't hate that. And that's not like an incredibly far fetched one either. But that could be pretty subtle too. That could be somebody you work with, you know, you were doing a lot of flirty jokes with, and it just got a little inappropriate. And you know, your husband actually just changed a little bit and it wasn't fun. So we're taking a step back. That's all anybody needs to hear. We're very focused on us right now.

And then you just say that and then you just tell them that casually and then you keep hanging out. But that maybe- What about something like this? You go, you tell the story and it's not about them, but you tell the story about somebody you worked with you were doing these jokes with

and that he took it more seriously and now it got really awkward. So you're telling the story of what's happening with them about other people and you'd be like, it's really hard because now I don't wanna hang out with them. Or, you know, like he was a work friend that we were doing these jokes

and I talked to, you know, my husband about it. He didn't care. It was just like fun and flirty at work, but he didn't stop. And you're like, I don't want to he didn't care. It was just like fun and flirty at work, but he didn't stop and you're like, I don't want to actually be with you, it was a joke, but the jokes kept going to the point of like, you're making this not fun for me, I don't wanna hook up with you, it was just fun.

It went too far. And then they didn't, the man didn't stop and so now like, it's weird. Yeah, maybe even like, yeah, I mean, I like that too. It's basically like the children's story. A meta version of what you're going through, but it works. It's the kid Yeah. Maybe even like, yeah, I mean, I like it. It's basically like the children's story. A meta version of what you're going through, but it works. It's the kid who cried wolf. And so the person here at the story goes like,

well, I don't want to be the boy who cried wolf. I guess I'll stop faking injuries. So you're saying that to them of they're somebody I work with who's doing what you're doing, and it's fucking weird and cool it. Without telling them they're doing. Without telling them they're weird so that they can go, let's cool it because I don't want to weird her out. She might be sensitive with this and then go,

we haven't done anything weird. I know, but let's just stop now. What do you think of that? I really like that idea. That's super doable, especially because they don't know anyone I work with. So it would be super doable where we could just, you know, make something up and yeah, I actually really like that. And then you're telling the story while you're having drinks and it's fun. So it's just like nice guys. Am I the only one feeling like we're sniffing the winter circle on this one a little bit? We are, but I'm going to do one more pitch.

Go! I'll be in the champagne room. Fart and diarrhea. Jesus Christ. Here's my, here's my other pitch, Veronica. Go far. I'll be in the champagne room fart and diarrhea Here's my here's my other pitch Veronica even the heart Yeah, even though I think the winner is this version we just did the other thing is this is a problem that you're in But your husband got you into it If the other side of this is you tell that hunk that tall lanky hunk of yours fix this I don't care how you do it. You dug us into this now you dig us out. There's too many jokes Well to that point

Yeah, it might make the most sense for him to have had this situation at his work Because he's kind of the one more wrapped up in it a little bit right now So it might make sense for him to have to take the brunt of that if you think he could handle it That might be the and he's like he's like I'm flirting with her at work. It was fun. That's enough Yeah, every second just kind of soured me on even playing around with this sort of shit. It's like it's enough What do you think of that Veronica making him do it? Like it's enough. What do you think of that, Veronica, making him do it? So that's possible.

My only fear is that the other wife is very careful about not upsetting me. This is kind of her first super close male friendship and it's with someone who's taken. And so she is very like, you know, she doesn't wanna upset me. And I think if she knew that he was susceptible to something like that, she might pull away from him. And I don't want that for her. And I think if she knew that he was susceptible to something like that, she might pull away

from him. And I don't want that. Even as friends. Yeah. Like she might pull back because she might be worried. Oh, he can't handle this kind of thing. You know? So I feel more comfortable doing it with myself.

Great. Let's do it then. Let's do that. I just want the winner's circle. I'm sorry. I just want to help. No, no. Why don't we do that then? Why don't we go her circle. I'm sorry. I just want to help. No, no. Why don't we do that then?

Why don't we go with that and see if you can kind of like. Can I jump in? Yeah. So Veronica. Let's hear it. Let's hear the walk us through the first example. Yep. You're her and I'm him.

I'm her. I'm Veronica. No, Veronica. Yeah. Veronica. You're the, you're him. I'm her. I'm Veronica. No, Veronica's Veronica. You're the babe he's intimidated by. Yeah. Or she's intimidated by and I'm the husband. And then Shark, you're her husband. All right, great.

You're Stacey. I'm Stacey. You're Dale and you're Mark. And then Veronica, we're all just hanging out having fun, but then you take it to this level and see if you can end it with an example from work. Do you feel comfortable doing this? Sure, let's try it. Let's try it and then the only reason we do it is so that we go, okay, here's what we

could do better on this. Or we say we're golden. Yeah. Okay, so guys, the champagne just got popped. The bubbles. Oh my God, watching it spray on you, I'd love to spray it on everybody. The bubbles are so funny. Cool.

Yeah. I'd pour it right on your head. Oh my God. My hair's all wet. I'm all wet with bubbles. That actually reminds me of something. Go ahead, Veronica. Yeah.

Up at the studio, I work with a bunch of other teachers, and there's this one teacher that he's been helping me out a lot with a bunch of different songs and programs and stuff like that, and so we've kinda gotten really close, but he started kinda getting like,

I couldn't tell if he was really flirting with me or not. It seemed like he might just be really friendly. But then it kept going to the point where he started like calling himself like my work husband and, you know, kind of almost suggesting that like we do things, but doing it in such a jokey way where he can always say just kidding, you know, without any sort of consequence. Sounds like a funny guy. Yeah, it's wild. always say, just kidding, you know, without any sort of consequence. Sounds like a funny guy. Yeah. It hits wild. Sounds weird. You know, it's just kind of like, it's made work a little weird now because he works right next door to me and, you know, he can pop over whenever I don't

have a student and can just kind of, you know, block the door, be in my space. And it's just, I don't know, it's been making me really uncomfortable. So I don't know if I need to, I need to say something or, or what, but I'm sorry. You're actually going through that. And I was totally joking about spraying the champagne on your guys' heads. Yeah. And I, oh, well, I appreciate that.

Yeah. But that's that, that sucks. I, you know, that's shouldn't be happening at work. The line can be hard sometimes for people to recognize when they're in the middle of having some fun. Yeah. Hey, do you guys want to go play some bocce ball outside? I have bad diarrhea.

I can't. What? I am not supposed to eat cheese. Why would you be the diarrhea wife right now? I'm just saying I ate a bunch of cheese and I have- I want to have sex with her, not you. I'm in love with her. No, I know.

It's not even about sex. I'm just telling you, by default, I shouldn't be out there jumping. I understand what's going on. I'm dying to fuck others. I don't know what's going on right now. By the way, Veronica, hold on. All jokes aside, the reason we're doing this bit,

we have no advice for you. That was perfect. Real good. Yeah, you crushed it. You crushed it. By the way, it wasn't too much if I was listening to that You made it so realistic. You were not a victim You were just like this is lame And what if I was holding the champagne and my bit was about to be like i'm gonna pour it on the two ladies

I would not make that joke. I think that is very true. It just changes the energy And it makes you go back to being a friend where you're like, Hey, as a friend, I'm sorry, you're dealing with this. And the last thing I want to do is put you in a bad spot. It also, if it does come up again and you seem a little less into it, I think, it gives, it's already given them eyes on that and it'll, it'll be more promise. And then I say, you talk to your husband and say, uh, don't throw any, what on

the fire, start dropping it. And then, so that they can get out of this and say, it's not us, that guy at work kind of killed the vibe. So let's not make jokes with them for a little bit because I don't think she's feeling it. That dude ruined it, not us, him. I was gonna pitch for the husband to have him be like, when you're telling the story, like, oh, that's like,

I'm sorry, like, yeah, she told me that, that's so weird. And like, so that they know the audience is like, oh, that's like, I'm sorry. Like, yeah, she told me that that's so weird. And like, so that they know the audience is like, oh, that sucks. Instead of being like, oh, come on. Like if your husband also, if your husband's with you, I think that helps your story a lot too. He could also set it up a little bit. Oh yeah.

Like this fucking thing happened, you know, to Veronica at work, it sucks. Yeah, she's dealing with the weirdest thing. She's doing the most annoying thing from a friend. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Short term solution, I think you gotta take a break

on the cabin sleepovers with the couple that wants to swing. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. By the way, we could have started with that. Thank you so much, Veronica. Veronica, let us know how it goes. You did great, that was awesome. Hey, please follow us.

Yeah, you gotta follow up. Of course. I'll fly to Atlanta. Of course. But you your to meet the other woman and her or what to try to ruin the vibe for everybody Just keep us posted, but I'm just keep us posted. Well, Veronica. You're that your move. There was perfect You're right in the pocket. Awesome. Thank you guys Alright we're brought to you by bluenile.com. We love Blue Nile. The road to getting engaged can be long and full of memories, or it can be short and thrilling, or somewhere in between.

But the road to finding the perfect engagement ring is a straightforward path every time. All you've got to do is head over to bluenile.com. Kevin, you just recently got married. Do you have an engagement tale? I did. I got engaged before I knew of Blue Nile, and I had an odd experience where Leah and I went to a place together and were looking at different rings, and the person we were looking at multiple times throughout, which I guess I appreciated the honesty, would go,

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So go to philo.tv slash Gill sent me and check it out for a free seven day trial. That's philo, P-H-I-L-O dot TV slash Gill sent me to start watching. Hello. Hello. start watching. Hello. Can we get your name, please, sir? Absolutely.

It's Drew. Drew, where are you calling from, Drew? Up in Connecticut. Ah, up in Connecticut. And what kind of music you like? Oh, I'm all over the place. We got the, I guess the schizophrenia of music. So we got the punk, the metal, got the alternative,

just all over the place. You're like a shark. And the pop too. What kind of metal are we talking these days? Here we go. Oh, I got to give the shout out to, we'll go with Ghost Bath. Ghost Bath?

Yeah, yeah. Two metal for shark. All right. Two shark for shark. Shark's like, how about Green Day? Yeah. Have you heard of it, Ken? All right.

How old are you, Drew? 33. Okay, great. Okay. Drew, what can we help you with today? All right. So, um, basically I like to describe myself as a donut fanatic, um, with the goal of someday possibly being the king of donuts.

Um, so I eat tons of them. So we're talking like hundreds of years. Uh, this year I'm up to 130 and I know that because I keep a detailed spreadsheet. So I keep track of what date I had them on, where I got them, a rating for everyone. Can we get photos of this spreadsheet and all that, Kevin?

Very special for the episode. Yeah, I have Instagram with his details that I can show. Then I'm going to stop talking. We're going to go back to Drew, Kevin, present them when you're ready. So keep keep going drew. I'm sorry interrupted winning setup No, so the spreadsheet is my private one So everything goes in there, but I do have an Instagram where I do a public review And that's just the first time I try a variety

I do a public review and then I keep my private spreadsheet everything and quickly What is the name of your Instagram there? So anybody who's listening, who wants to follow. Yeah, let's get these likes up for the king of donuts. Drew drew runs on donuts. Correct. Yes. Drew runs on donuts.

Okay. So you eat donuts and you'd make little reviews on them. Yes. Okay. Can we also, uh also see a quick photo of the private spreadsheet? Can you go back to that first picture, Kevin, so I can just walk us through the hashtags real quick?

His hashtags are hashtag donuts, hashtag donuts, hashtag MA, hashtag mask foods, hashtag donut lover, hashtag food reviews, hashtag cake, hashtag stick, hashtag glazed, hashtag old fashioned. Hashtag cake, hashtag stick, hashtag glazed, hashtag old fashioned. Hashtag pandering. You're chasin' baby, you're chasin'. Okay, now go for this. You're a great writer, Drew, too. I love the way you just like, pretty self-explanatory. A plain cake donut in stick form covered in glaze. To start, please admire the sheen.

It's like, you're a great writer. And the fraggy bumps. Yes. And by the way, the donut looksen. It's like you're a great writer. And the fraggy bumps. Yes. And by the way, the donut looks excellent. It really does. Yeah. Okay. So keep, if you're comfortable with it, we would love to see the private ones too to see

what, how the sausage is made a little bit, but keep going. Yep. So I just sent over a quick little snip in the email to Kevin of the Snip of the Spreadsheet. Okay, great. OK, so so far this year, you're up to 130 donuts. Yeah, and this is actually down this year. I'm flacking this year compared to previous year. How is that?

Just very quickly, this is fascinating. It's not like you're an athlete who pulled a hammy. Isn't your problem just you need to be eating more donuts? Not quite. I do, I guess I would not an amateur athlete, but I, the other part of that handle, the runs on donuts, I'm a long distance runner. So that's the donuts are the fuels for the running. And vice long distance, how far are you going? I've been averaging about 80 miles a week. Jesus God.

Wow. Wild guy, Drew. So you're co you're cooking your body oven to such a degree that the donuts aren't hurting you. It's just a little bit of a sugar carb blast, but you're fine because you're running so much. Is that kind of the thing and you're liking the taste and it gives you some fuel? Oh yeah. 100%, you got it.

Okay. And when did this donut thing start for you? What was the aha moment? It looks like, according to my notes, it goes back about four or five years. Just had one one day, I was like, you know what, this is pretty good. I forgot how good these are.

I should start getting more of these. Oh wow, what a spreadsheet. I love that you gotta go to your notes to just explain to yourself how this started Okay, we got the spreadsheet up right now. I see texture decent but needed a strawberry blueberry flavor This is good stuff. This is great. These notes man Very fluffy, but not enough glaze. So it wasn't quite as crisp as I would like. S'mores filled with marshmallow fluff, chocolate icing on top, some graham, some chocolate pieces. Just tastes like a chocolate ice cream with creamy texture.

Also the ratings, 7.2, 8.7, 8.1. So you're really doing this. Solid crunch, good sweet icing. And you've been doing this for four years, you said, Drew? Oh yeah, yep. Quick question really fast, I just gotta know, I promise you I'm not judging, but why? I just like spreadsheets.

I like you, my guy. I'm a bit of a weirdo, so. Yeah, it's good stuff though, man. So you're going on a scale of one to 10, you're going, it seems like you're going to a bit of a weirdo, so. Yeah, it's good stuff though, man. You like info. So you're going on a scale of 1 to 10. It seems like you're going to a lot of places, but you're also returning to some. So each time you're going and you're getting a donut, you're giving it the real opportunity to give it a fair shake.

And then you're going home to your spreadsheet and you're diarrhea-ing your notes. And I know it sounded like I said pooping badly, but I'm saying diarrhea. Anyway. So in terms of you, Drew, this is a heck of a setup. It's really interesting. I think you're a fascinating guy. You want to be the king of donuts. You're running it off.

So this isn't a health issue. We don't have to worry about you just baking on a couch. So what is the question? So I'm looking to establish some ground rules basically. I feel like I'm kind of losing the spark a little bit over time. Like you mentioned, you're seeing a lot of repeat varieties. I'm not sure if I have to force myself to really try a certain amount of new ones. I just have a couple ground rules like how far should I be driving? How far is too far?

How much is too much to pay for one donut? Should I have a minimum allowance, a maximum, all that sort of stuff. Okay. This is interesting. Your question is, what should the rules be of the donut king? Pretty much, yeah. It's kind of being sprung on. I have a two-year-old now, so I have to kind of think about the family also. Is it really okay for me to be driving 45 minutes with a two-year-old strapped in the back of my car just to make him sit there and watch me eat a donut?

Yes, it is. You want to know why? Especially when they get older, if there's no screens, you know what that is? That's a childhood. Look out the window, listen to music, do weird stuff with dad. I make my kids do chores with me. Yes, there's nothing wrong with that. Drive them, listen to a little ghost bath while dad goes to get a crawler or something like that. Just blasting a little ghost bath. I forgot the heavy metal. Maybe a podcast. Maybe put out this podcast. Okay. Keep going, Drew. The kid is a fan of the Green Day, so he is listening to the music on the way.

Good. So in terms of the ground rules, help us out on this pitch, because here's what I'm hearing, Drew. You're an eccentric guy. You're now a dad. You love donuts. You love spreadsheets. You've got things organized. You're looking for, you're basically looking for help on creating a

spreadsheet for this chapter of your life. Is that correct? Yeah, I think so. Like I find myself, am I paying too much for this? Is this reasonable? That, that sort of thing. Well, here's the most, do I really have paid for a doughnut? I paid $7 this year and I was very disappointed by that one.

Here's what I think, Drew. Take money aside and I'm going to tell you why. There might be money on the return. If you eventually printed out these reviews, this could change the doughnut game in Connecticut because what you could do is we could maybe help figure out a way and I don't know what it is. Maybe we'll get to Squarespace and we'll create a website. But maybe there's a world where if you want the best donut

in Connecticut, you gotta go to drewrunsondonuts.com. You want the Drew review. You want the Drew review. And then there's a little bit of paid extra, and that is, that's where you get all the details on the donuts. But on the main page, there's just the ratings. And the reason we do this is this is not for profit. This is for more donuts. I think that's, that is kind of in the realm I'm thinking too.

You know, Dave Portnoy does that thing where he goes and eats a piece of pizza in front of a pizza place. And that has just become like, people want that review. They want him to try the pizza. They want- I've done it with him. It's, oh man, that's awesome. Yeah.

I mean, sometimes, nothing makes me want to eat pizza more than watching. I'm like, that looks unbelievable. But not that you're doing that, but to what Jake's saying, it's like people in the New England, Connecticut area could kind of be like, they want to see you come in and have the doughnut. And now like that, the places then could reach out to you

and offer you doughnuts. And I also think you're running a good amount a week. You could just make your radius a little larger and make some of your routing going by these places. And if you have like a backpack or something where you can just kind of place the donut in there, you can do the review post-run. Yeah. Yes. It's, you're called Drew runs on donuts. What if we change it to Drew runs to donuts? Oh, that's good.

Well, I actually tried that a couple of years back because I went to the gas station every morning and I was trying to figure out how I could loop in my stop so I didn't have to drive there and they bounce around too much in a backpack. I gotcha. All right. And you don't want to eat a donut mid run. That's disgusting. I mean, I've done worse things, but I think it's kind of out of the line of what I want

to do. That's not what it is. Okay. Okay. So my kind of pitch that I'm starting in is lean into this idea and create a page and actually try to turn this into something that the donut stores in the Connecticut area get involved and therefore we have answered the money question. I also think what we do is with our reach here,

we say people in that area tag the best places to get donuts, and now we give you kind of like post it, post it in like after this airs, post it, and let's just have people tag the places in Connecticut to get donuts. That kind of gives you like a map of where you should be going. And I think to Jake's point, like, it's not crazy.

If you're like, if you want to make this a little bit more of a thing, I do not think it is crazy to drive with your kid. I think it's great. I also think another rule you have to do, and I'm sure you got a job and you're busy with the kid and the run, so you can't do it all the time. Once a month, you need a new donut place. There's at least 12 new places a year. My heart says once a week, but that might be too hard because you might start getting

to drive far. Once a month, there is a new place and you are not allowed to go to the same donut place more than once a week? That gets tough just because I do a lot of time researching where I can go to new places. It gets to be a long drive to get a new place every month. Every month. Okay. Within an hour, an hour and a half, I could do it for about a year.

I'd say, but so let's, let's cross the bridge after that year and let's just do the first year of it. Now look, I agree. You know, here's the reality. It is going to be inconvenient. It is a long drive. Sometimes you might have to step outside of Connecticut, but drew runs on donuts. So this isn't us calling a random person saying you want to drive two hours for a,

uh, a Claire. We're talking to Drew and this is your thing. And I think you want to be the donut King. There's some sacrifice to being a King. Absolutely. And you work for, yeah, but you work for the people, you know, and if you don't work for the people, they'll, they'll overthrow you, but you're telling people in that whole upper East coast,

New England, the area, you got them covered. I would also consider taking a family trip to New York city. And in that I would think of vacations around Connecticut and every day you're having three different donut shops. Now you don't have to, you don't have to say when they come out, you can release it later, but you take a trip and you're like, I went to 10 new donut places and those are going to slowly get released, you know, bank episodes.

I forgot to mention, I do have one rule, actually, I guess two rules, which is I only have one at a time and I don't do the sampling thing. So I don't do like the buy six and then take a little piece and throw out the rest. It's just disrespectful to the donuts. You know, I agree. A man of integrity. There's no doubt about that. Walk me through that again.

Cause I agree. So you're not taking six and taking a bite and then going, I got the strawberry. Boom. I got the blueberry. Boom. I got the chocolate. You're eating the fucking donut because you love the donut. Oh yeah.

This is full committal. I have to pick one. I walk out of there with that in the bag and I know that's coming home with me. Just that one. Here's my question to you and I love that about you. That's the equivalent of if you're a hunter, you better eat all the goddamn meat.

Yes. If you're gonna kill a buffalo, don't leave the legs behind. Yeah, pelt, everything, guts. Everything. So that's how I see you on this and I think you are dead right on it but here's my question to you. If you drive two hours from home to new donut shop are you allowed to get six and bring them home or does the

freshness change? Oh the freshness changes. So the max I would do I've done somewhere I've driven about an hour and a half and I'll get to do one that day and then try to get a variety that might last the day to and have that on day two. And so the whole drive is for one donut. Your life is a spreadsheet. Oh yeah. It's true.

Is there a product and I'm talking to the whole group now, the equivalent of those little things that keep cigars fresh humidor is there something that we can get that keeps donuts fresh? A sealer or something like that. There's definitely ways to seal a product to keep it fresh. And what it might take away from a little bit is the aesthetic of it. So you take the photo of how the cream looks,

but then you put it in one of those bags that you suck all the air out of it. Yeah, a vacuum seal. A vacuum seal where you're like, it's not gonna look pretty, but the first day was about it. What do you have there, Sean? I got one right here, seal. A vacuum seal where you're like, it's not gonna look pretty. But the first day was about it. What do you have there? I got one right here, Drew.

A vacuum seal. I can send you this one. It's for my cigars, but. Evan has an actual cigar box. But in terms of your integrity. This one tastes like cigars too. Ha ha. What do you think about something like that?

And therefore, you go take a drive, you seal up the donuts, you put them in your fridge or however the best way you're a man of research. So you'll figure out the best way to do it. Now the day of you take the photos. So that's the day it gets judged aesthetically, but five days later it gets judged via taste. Yeah. I don't think that's a cheat. Yeah.

You drew? There really is no way to keep it fresh that long. So like your max one, two days, I've really tried it. I mean, I've made notes before saying like this was a day old, so I have to give it a little bit of credit here. So I think, listen, you're a man of great donut integrity. You are the donut king. I think we appreciate the fact that you've got a lot of Fight Club rules to your situation. Absolutely. But I think to what Jake was talking about before, the real key to this is finding a

way to get more variety. So do you guys as a family, do you ever take any trips? Do you ever go do things like that with the kid? Not too often, but I could see a place where we take a day trip a few hours away and then try something out. But here's what the problem is, Gareth. That's all for one donut. I know.

What I'm pitching and hoping for is that they take a trip to another region and he's able to go. Five days of new donuts. Yeah. Just kind of ping around in five different directions and get a new one each day. But you're also saying it's like just a family trip or a trip with him. Yeah. I agree with that. Here's, here's a rule I would put on you, Drew.

I really think it's 12 new donuts, 12 new places a year, but I think per week, repeats are totally fine. Going to the same places, totally fine. Trying all of them. Therefore, if you take a vacation, those five days, then five different donuts, that's five months because you only need one a new place. So even though you did it in five days, if you go to, let's say New York, well, you've got this place in Brooklyn, this place in Queens, this place in Manhattan, this place in the Bronx, this place in Staten Island. Listen to me, name and all the places. Yeah. You're a real Borough guy. You're the Borough King.

Thank you. I'll tell you the trains to get there too. No, no need. So, I will, off camera. I'll call you after. I gotta go after this. I'll call you. I'll call you. I'll call you. I'll call you. I'll call you. I'll call you. I'll just text you a bunch So here's the point of that We got to keep this livable. It's the same thing with anything if you overdo it at the beginning You're gonna burn out and you're gonna say too much. You're the doughnut king for life You're not the doughnut king for a four-year period.

This isn't the donut president. If you go and you do five days, that's five months. The rest of the time, fucking repeat. Eat and repeat. What do you think of something like that, Drew? Yeah, definitely. Basically, sit on the unreleased ones and trickle them out. Yes. Hey Drew, let me tell you, we might not air this fucking episode until September.

You're banking donuts. Because we bank them, baby. We bank them. So during the week, if you go off and you're eating, you're releasing those day of, here we go, keep it going, keep it going. But you're once a month, your special new one per month, and there's only 12 a year. If you need to, you bank them. And guess what? If you have a month where you realize you don't have one,

it's the end of the month, strap the boy in the back and drive to anywhere you need to go. If it's a three hour drive, then it's a three hour drive. Yeah. But you only need to do that 12 times a year. I think it's doable. It is doable. It's definitely doable.

I mean, if you want to be the donut king, you got to put in a little work, you know? Unless you just want to be a guy who runs and eats donuts. Yeah. Then you're the donut jester. What do you think going back to the, the hard rules, which was the question, and that is 12 a year during the week, you can repeat and we year, during the week you can repeat, and we will, obviously when this comes out,

help the push to people who can reach out to you on your Instagram and see if a place wants to sponsor, if a place says, like, come to us. There's also places that might be able to ship, because I'll tell you what. I was wondering. I tell you what, it can happen. They ship cakes and they're still fresh. They put them in those little like with ice, whatever it is, the dry ice.

There's ways to do this. Now that for you- Oh, God. You're describing my dream. That's somebody just send me a donut in the mail. Yeah. Well, look, Drew, this is what we're trying to build. We're trying to build the donut king. If you are a donut place and you're in New Jersey and you go, man, it's only a four hour drive from Connecticut. We'll spend the money and guess what we'll do as a show. We'll give them a shout out. And then you'll come back on and give some reviews of the best places and we'll give their address. I'd be very happy.

I'd be very happy if some donut place got business because of us because our main concern is keeping the king of the donuts the king of the land I'm loving all this great. So are we so much motivation? Okay, and then I know you're gonna create some sort of a list base of this or some sort of a spreadsheet Can you send that to us any new reviews from here on? Yeah And also if you decide to put this what we're talking about into the rules to write down for yourself to see it, whatever you do in that brain of yours with this information, if there's anything to keep things organized, just keep us in the loop with the King's orders.

Yes. Okay. Yeah. I mean, at this point I'm going to commit to one new shop a month. I think that's great. And then repeat straight away. And just remember, Drew, you're the king, like Jake keeps saying. So at times it's going to seem impossible.

At times it's going to seem hard. At times you're going to be like, is it worth it? Should I be doing this? Is it okay if I fall back? And just remember, you're going for the gold. So you're going to need to put in a little work, a little extra effort. You're going to need to dig deep. There might be nights where you got to go on a donut run that you didn't

think you were going to have to do. But you're going to have to find these spots, these pockets you're putting in the work now to help out the future king. Okay. That's right. That is exactly right. Drew, is there ever a race you do? Or do you just run?

Yeah, I run a few a year. Well, maybe we can try to also, if anybody wants to sponsor him, that's a donut company and give him a shirt. Maybe the Donut King could be sponsored by what's like your favorite donut place and can I, don't say it, we'll see if they reach out to us. But if there's a local donut shop and they want to make a shirt for you, give you a couple free donuts for a week, that could be cool. Oh yeah. I've actually bought shirts from all my favorite places.

Well for starters, for starters in order to save money, stop buying the shirts. Yeah, come on, that's donut cash. Yeah, we need that to eat the donuts, not wear the shirts that sell the donuts. And for your Instagram, for your social media presence, might I suggest when you eat these donuts, let's also film you eating them and describing the taste. And let's have a specific chair you sit in every time you do this. And we call that the throne nut. Yeah. I love the name, but it's a process. I just sit there and enjoy it after a long run. So it's like a half hour. Drew, you're the king.

And what I like about you is you know what you don't like. I feel the same way. And we're hitting a very specific target. It feels like we hit it. So let's stick with that. And then follow up with us with what's going on. Keep us in the loop. When the episode airs, we will help kind of push stuff out

Obviously and you know things are gonna go well for you King. Yeah, you're the king. I Love it. Thank you guys so much. Thank you King. All right King. Oh Can I just say one more thing? No, we gotta go. No, go ahead. Okay I don't think any caller has said it yet, but I'd like to bid you gentlemen a do or a don't as Pepperlord would say. Yeah, we appreciate you, man. Bid you a donut, sir. All right, thanks, guys.

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Hey everyone, producer Kevin here. The original call from this next follow-up aired on December 7th. It's called We Are Here for Selfish Reasons, and it's the first call in the episode. So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy. Hello.

Hi there. Welcome back to the show. We know you're a follow-up. Thank you. Yes. It's good to be back. We're, we're so glad to have you back. We don't know who you are and we don't know what your follow-up is.

So why don't you bring us up to speed again? Oh, perfect. Well, um, about November of last year, my name is Winter, by the way. I had called because I was, I found out I was pregnant and we came up with a really fun way to tell my husband. Oh yeah. And yeah, we just had the baby at the beginning of this month. So. Oh, hey. Oh yes, I remember this. Oh, look at that.

Look at that. What's the baby's name? Helper. His name's Harvey. By the way, yeah, rock and did not make it wrong. That is rocking a great mustache for now. Early baby pics is dead. Yes, thank you. Wasn't Dad more of the fan?

And when you brought him in, he kind of like lost his mind a little bit. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. He was. Oh, my gosh. He was. Real life. You guys look like a really beautiful family. Congratulations.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, it was it was pretty nuts. And so now I'm learning how to multitask and run on four hours of sleep. It's pretty crazy. I hear it. Really quickly. Did you just hear him? I heard him.

Is he around your husband? No, he's actually working, unfortunately. He's got a new job. He works- Yeah. He works where? What? He works for the railroad now, so he's actually gone nights and stuff now.

So it's kind of crazy. Perfect time to work nights. Honestly, I mean, how? Let me ask you this. Did he get this job at the railroad around the time Harvey was born? Because my guess is he was like, by the way, unfortunately, you're going to have to raise him at night. I'm working nights until Harvey's 18. There's nothing I can do. Oh, the baby's crying. I gotta go to work No, I know he has it so good too. Like he got the job when we found out I was pregnant too

So actually when he goes on his train and he goes to the hotel he gets 10 hours of like rest So he's really good When I've got bad news for you, there's no train job I just watched his live 360. He just drives. Yeah. No. What he's doing is he's playing scratch offs.

And recently he's been up. So there's just going to be a big downfall. He's parked down the road doing scratch offs and he has some like a little thing of oil in his car he puts on his face every now and then. So here's a possible bit that we could do on the follow up if you are interested. Yes.

So the first call, we surprised him on a Zoom and told him that you were pregnant, right? Yeah. Let's surprise him on a Zoom and say you're pregnant again. What? Is that even possible? It could be. Well, let's see. I'm right at like five.

He's five weeks old, so I'm almost six weeks postpartum. Okay. I got it. Here's an alt pitch for that. What if we call him right now and say, you just got a job offer to work nights? To work nights too. If he would answer, I don't know if he can answer right now because he's on the train. That makes sense. But we could try to set up something like that. Yeah, I kind of feel like maybe we're good

I will will air this follow-up as is but maybe we do another joke follow-up when the math works out for your guys's Life's together. Yeah that maybe we scare him with baby number two Because the first one, he was like, yeah, he's like, is this real? And then we're like, yeah. And then I remember he was like really excited. Well, the second time, I'll tell you what, you're working nights, you got a baby,

you're not as excited about number two. Okay, how about we do this? Exactly. This might be a swing for the fences. And maybe it's just once we have him hooked with baby number two, why don't we say you got a specialty test that also tells you if it's twins and it has you tested positive for twins, too You got the double plus

So congratulations to you, this is a really sweet follow-up we're gonna get out early on this one but let's do another one and you reach out to Kevin and let's plan that one that in the middle of it, he comes in and we say the same thing like, congratulations, this is a follow up and then we'll do what we did on the first one. We'll go, but there's actually something your wonderful partner wants to say to you and he'll go, what is happening? And then just really sell it because it'd be really funny if we're all quiet and he has to go like, awesome, awesome. Hold on.

And then he like, that's awesome. Hey, Winter, let's talk right away once this call is done about a couple things. Okay, sounds good. Awesome. Hey, one more question, Winter, before we let you go. Does Harvey have a middle name? Richard. Okay.

Harvey Richard. I just want to see if there was any room to get helper shark in there just come branding or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or

or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or If you want to fit a middle name in there that helps the show, we'll have you on to talk about it.

We just want to see some proof. How would you pronounce Jake with a G? Gake. How about Gake? Gake. All right. We're insisting on it being Gake. Gake or Jareth, I'm happy with.

I got to say, I'm really- You like Gake. You like Gake. I'm really into Gake. Little baby nicknamed Gakey. It's like a gay cake. I love it. Thank you for the

thanks Wintek congratulations congrats thank you guys we'll talk soon hi he's Harvey's little fucking yellow perfect ending with the crap we're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is A.J. McKeon. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakeo and our video editor is John De Bruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at oliverraleigh.com. That's oliverrallly.com. The album Oliver R-A-L-L-I.com.

The album artwork is by James Fostike. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fostike, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to garethrentals.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes,

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