We're Here to Help - 115: I’m the Biggest Daddy

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about a grandfather’s nickname and some issues in the bedroom. Later the guys follow up with the second caller from episode 41 “That’s Not It! with Jeff Kober.” Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail] (Early Access, Bonus Calls and Q&As): Patreon.com/HereToHelpPodVIDEO: Youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And check it out for a free seven day trial. That's P-H-I-L-O dot TV slash Gil Sentme to start watching. And we are back! Showtime! We're here to help. It's Showtime! Shark, what day of the week is this one dropping? Is this a Monday or Thursday? This is a Thursday. We're on a Thursday right now. And we have no guest. Correct.

And Gareth, what do you got? You said you had a story. So, okay, I got on a plane and I'm easy. I know it's not going to be one of those. And as I was getting on the plane, I was like, I'm going to be on a plane. I'm going to be on a plane. I'm going to be on a plane. I'm going to be on a plane.

I'm going to be on a plane. I'm going to be on a plane. I'm going to be on a plane. I'm going to be on a plane. I'm going to be on a plane. I'm going to be on a plane. I'm going to be on a plane. I'm going to be on a plane and I'm easy. I know it's not gonna be one of those and and As I was getting on the plane there were not a lot of people on it and a guy was watching porn on his phone Wow, yeah Did he have headphones?

It was no, I don't think he had headphones, but there was no volume, but he was kind of saw the video. Yes But there was no volume, but he was kind of saw the video. Yes And I it's disgusting and it was like that's worth a comment in my opinion There could be kids walking on that's worth a I hey pal. I am a man Let's shut that down. You're like the Mark Wahlberg of the show I did not I just I was walking by and I was like, ah How old of a gentleman? I would say 50. If you, oh. Yeah.

Yeah. Horrifying. A guy our age, Gareth? Nope. No, no, no. An old man. I would, to me, I would say that it's like, I worry that we're going to get into this place where this is what it is.

By the way, you're not wrong. Cause I was saying, yeah. And I was like, I, you know what I, I, I shouldn't even admit it, but I was watching the Packers game on my phone. I wasn't watching it, but I had it on. And like when I was in traffic, I would check. You thought yours was more embarrassing. Well, no, Kevin, that's not what I'm saying.

I, I was like, this is not good. And then I thought people probably watch porn while they drive, too. That probably happens. And to me, I would say porn in the car is obviously bad porn on a shared thing of transportation. Not OK. I truly believe that's a next level move. I do, too. And that I feel like it's not out of line to say hey pal Shut your fucking phone down you are out of line and I don't know if you know this but read my shirt

Yeah, jujitsu. I got beat up on the ground Yeah, what the are you saying the dollop of love. The dollop doesn't get love. Ask me, I'm going to fall. Yeah. What the hell are you saying? The dollop? Are you talking about the dollop? We're here to help. You can not. No, she said it doesn't get enough love.

What? The dollop. Yeah. So give it some love. I love the dollop. OK, well, first of all, how did you what's your favorite episode of the my other podcast, The Dollop? Oh, probably the KFC Colonel Sanders. It's a great episode. That was so good. So when are we getting Dave?

When are we getting Dave on the show? Real soon. He's in the yard right now punching himself in the face, getting ready for his next appearance. Can we get your name, where you're calling from, and your favorite podcast? No, and what's going on? Yeah, I'm Cat. And who are you talking to? Oh, I'm talking to my husband. Cute.

Okay, what's your name? Yeah. I'm Cat, and I'm 33, and I'm calling from Jacksonville, Florida. Oh, beauty. Beauty. Jake's going there as a little turtle tour. Now, it's not a turtle. I swim with turtles. Yeah. Go ahead, Kat. What's the problem today? Yeah. So I have a new baby

and he's four months old. And my dad, instead of being called grandpa, he wants to be called big daddy. Ooh. Wait, didn't we just do one like this? We talked about it. And then we, on the Patreon, we said we have to have her on.

Oh, right. Okay, that's so weird, because I was like, We've done this. Yeah, yeah, because then we started pitching on it. Yep, yeah. And we said we have to have her called. Okay, so Kat, we talked about this without you for the patreon, but keep going keep setting us up join our patreon

Yeah, no, I I watched it and I was like, oh fuck. I actually have to call in now So my anxiety is pretty high but uh Yeah, so when we found out we were pregnant we you know talked to the parents and had the conversation you have of like, you know, what do you want to be called? Because apparently people can pick their grandparent name now and it can be whatever they want to be like Mimi or whatever. And my parents decided, you know, we'll keep it old school. We'll keep it simple grandma and grandpa is fine, right? Well, great

well, I have the baby and They come and visit in the hospital and right away when my dad goes to hold her says come to big daddy and Is this his personality? It just kind of stayed the same and this is not his personality. He's not like a big boy strip funny dude. He just fell in love with his granddaughter. It's so weird. Gender reveals, I still am not.

I find him insane. Comfortable with. But it's also not like grandparents are doing like name reveals for what they want to be called. And it's like, big daddy is insane. My dad, when my kids were born, my mom was Grandma Eve. And my dad goes, pop-pop. And I went, grandpa.

And he goes, you know, your brother's kids and your sisters call me pop-pop. I want pop-pop. And I think I said to my daughters once, that's pop, no it isn't, that's your grandfather. Pass. Because you're also allowed to just say, I pass. Yeah. I pass on this insanity.

Well you're going to get the most time with the kid, so you are allowed- Also, I pass. You're not Pop Pop, you're not Big Daddy, you're Grandpa Ken. But Pop Pop is weird. It's weird. But Big Daddy is- the problem with Big Daddy is it sounds like a pimping. So much wrong with it. I wouldn't want one of my kids calling an old man Big Daddy.

Yeah, it's just like, it is- No way. It's weird. It's weird and a little uncomfortable What would you have your grandkids call you Garrett call me? I mean, I I would kind of let them I would be like I would let them figure it out I would be like I'm not gonna like say I mean, I guess I could go with garp. Ah, that's kind of cute It's pretty fun. My daughters on my mother's side, they started just letting them come up with it. So it was on me for grandma. That's just what came out of their mouth.

And then I'll boo for my grandpa for their grandpa. And they want the grandparents wanted something different, but that's what the kids called them. So they did the cool thing. They leaned in. I like now it's still on me and I'll boo, but there's no significance. Grandma and grandpa, it's whatever comes kids called them. So they did the cool thing, they leaned in. So now it's still Ami and Abu, but there's no significance. Grandma and Grandpa, it's whatever comes out. Yes.

It's not, I'm gonna be Big Daddy, I'm gonna be Meanie, I'm gonna be whatever. Yeah, it's kind of me-maw, all that shit. That's kind of what I think. I think it's like, couldn't you just say, in this world we live in now, can't you just be like, we've decided that it's important for the kids to decide what they want to call him.

Gareth, yes, that is right. It's smart, but that is not the premise of our show. That's logical. That is what's gonna happen. Our job is to make him feel so uncomfortable for trying to get a baby he loves to call him Big Daddy. That's what we're doing in this hot box. That's it.

So you're right. We have told him, you are not Big Daddy, you are grandpa. He still keeps calling himself big daddy, no matter what. Like my mom even tells him it's my husband took me aside last time they were visiting us and in the kitchen with a serious like serious look on his face. He's like, babe, your dad cannot be big daddy. It's disgusting. Yeah. Our daughter cannot call him big daddy I'm big daddy. I have a pitch go Cat I need you when you so Damon Waynes Jr. Does a thing that he does his voice when he wants to really make people uncomfortable

Yeah, and what I would do if I were you is whenever you say it I would put a lot of stink on it because you're his daughter so if you went like hey you want to pick her up? Big daddy. And he'd be like, don't it's and then you're because he's thinking it's like big grandpa, like the big love, but really big daddy means something else. So you're just letting him know this is what you're initiating to the family where you go like, Oh, big daddy can pick up the baby.

And he's like, you're gross and mountain. You go go like oh big daddy can pick up the baby And he's like you're gross in mountain you go you built this house who is But if that makes her part of it. It's like creepy for yeah My dad I'm checking out this is insane. I'm checking out something. I'm seeing gareth Reynolds calm He's checking his tour dates One compliment the doll and the fucking guy looks too busy for we're here to help. By the way, I got recognized in the farmer's market two times. I just went to bigdaddy.com just to see. And I don't know if this helps us or anything.

Like it's not bookmark. But it immediately goes. We need to update your credit card. The last one got canceled. Hello there, Mr. Reynolds. Is it your usual site or a new playlist today? New playlist. I'm doing a show.

I pretend like I've never been there before. But it just goes to a porn site. It just goes to a gay porn site right away. Because that's what Big Daddy is. So is that, I mean. And that is the heart of the issue. And that is the heart of the issue. That's correct.

I mean, it's just like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, away. Because that's what Big Daddy is. So is that, I mean. And that is the heart of the issue. And that is not the issue. That's correct.

I mean, is there a way to just say to him, like, look, I've told a couple of people about this name, and they think it is disgustingly sexual. Is this a Mr. Pigly and Dr. Stone? And because there's no way your dad. You are so far off on what the names are. Moe and Pigly. What did I say? Dr. Stone? Oh, why are you Dr. Stone? It's a confusing thing that wouldn't make sense

The other character and the thing I'm working on is a doctor. I remembered one of them was a doctor It is insane You made me very very doctor this morning. Okay, that's fine. That's very very busy man So he sometimes brings dr. Stone to the motion But we could do a moment right because there's no way big daddy knows this and what we could do it as a complaint about How grand ever reveals were prominent grandparents are doing this thing where they're sort of take and it's confusing for the kids and some and It's a mistake and it's a mistake And it's a mistake. So cat what do you think of that?

Would you actually play the audio for him of this or with that? Is that not your relationship with big daddy? God that makes me so uncomfortable Good way, I would try to play it for him. He doesn't really take into account what I put. What are you doing? Kat, I'm sorry. Jesus Christ. Dr. Stone got a little weird.

Am I not feeling heard right now? Say it again? She's not feeling heard. I know. That's a big problem with our show. I'm sorry. It's been goofy. There's been a lot of weird stuff so far. What were you saying

about would Big Daddy buy this or not? I don't know. He doesn't really pay attention to things I send him. Play it in front of him. Well, but if he's like, he's not one of like, the air conditioner guys seem to be somebody who would care. I mean, if I sent my mom a thing about like hey there this podcast about stuff you're doing She would I would you do listen you should go now someone sends that to you. I would listen to it you would okay There's something I want to send you about keeping names straight I'm not gonna listen to it if you said it Okay, so you don't love the idea of that. It's not gonna work. How about this? What about I'm not against I know I know I know you're being positive

Yeah, I think you're right. I'm happy to try to win here. What if you started doing this? What if your husband said to him as like a standoff bad news, sir? I'm big daddy. And so when the kid goes a grandpa comes in he goes Hey, it's big daddy your husband leans in and this is a man versus man battle. And he goes, Hey, big daddy's here. And then the father goes, big father's here. Your big father is here. Your big dad, your actual dad.

That's if anything, big grandpa. But if there's a daddy motherfucker I'm the daddy. I think I like it. I think you I think that's good, right? I think say the dad wants Also overstepping. Yeah, he's not the daddy. Yes. That's the best way Fucking dad. Yes, that's better. Now. I like that. Let's we'll get your reaction that in a second I have a question your parents said she liked it parents. She does I like that. Let's we'll get your reaction that in a second. I have a question your parents said she liked it She does I like it too. I know but then you said we'll get your reaction Yeah, well, I might just be going for a joke on this one. I'll be honest. Go ahead

So what are your parents still together? Yes, okay, cuz what we could do is you could get mom to come up with a worse Nickname to show him how bad it is and then you could throw it be like both of you guys old vag i don't oh big giant big giant it's similar yes by the way big giant and big daddy those are keepers lean in if a little kid ran up to their grandmother in a park and said big giant giant mom pretty good but i also think think that what Jake's pitching is right. I think that's the best way. If your husband's comfortable with it.

Wait, you're just talking to him. You want to throw him on? Yeah. Bring that hunk on the phone. Let's see what happens. Big Daddy? That's me. Hey, Big Daddy.

Hey, Big Daddy. So, Big Daddy, have you been hearing where we're at on this? Yeah, I've been here auditing the whole time. Are you ready to stand up to this man who's trying to take your throne as the big daddy to this baby? Oh, absolutely. I'm the biggest daddy.

I'm her actual daddy. That's exactly right. So I thought you were saying daddy. Okay, but hold on, no. A daddy to an actual kid is not growth. He is the daddy and he's bigger than her. He's the big daddy. Kat, you're going to have to deal with some temporary uncomfortableness if this bothers

you. But what is the best way for this to play out? I think it's for, what is your name, sir? Sorry? Big daddy. Big daddy, no, Robert. All right, Robert. I think you're going to have to do it, Robert.

He is. I think you're going have to do it Robert. He is I think you're gonna have to say to him and you're gonna have to bite the bullet and say hey listen Before you do this. I have a faster idea. What let's play it out. Let's go. Oh my Waiter dishwasher repair person. I'll give you big daddy Yes, this is not a porno you you are grant your grandpa, okay? I'm old vagina. Oh giant Cat you're out of a job. No cat your cat. Okay, Robert Robert new big daddy your Robert, but

Win this moment, but we're gonna try to do it real. Okay That's a note for me. Is every well also from them. Okay, mostly for you. Yeah Thank you. Does that and for me because I every... Well, also from them. Okay. Mostly for you. Yep. Thank you. And for me, because I'm feeling loose today. You are. I wouldn't be surprised if I found out you were drinking a little this morning.

Out in your weird pond. I've actually had the... I'm cutting back. You look good. Yeah. I told you that. I miss it. Yeah.

Well, you'll get back to it. For sure I will. Yeah. Because I think this is over. Yeah. No, yeah, okay. That's not about this No, it isn't cats. We're gonna start And we're gonna see what happens. Okay Where are we kitchen? Okay cat you tell us where does this mostly happen with your dad? Okay, this would be in our living room. He's sitting down where you know, he wants to hold the baby Perfect. Okay.

Okay, so we just got here, we're settled in. You're talking about sleep and all that and how everybody's doing, really nice vibes. What's just so lovely? I mean, I'm so glad she's sleeping. I can't believe how cute she is. So adorable. So cute. Give her to Big Daddy.

Let Big Daddy have a grab on his little granddaughter for a minute. Come here. Oh, look, she loves her Big Daddy. Let Big Daddy have a grab on his little granddaughter for a minute. Come here. Oh, look, she loves her Big Daddy. If you're going to give her to Daddy, you've got to give her to me. What's that, Robert? Yeah, this is Robert, and that's me. I'm Big Daddy.

I'm her only Big Daddy. What do you mean? What do you mean you're Big Daddy? I'm Big Daddy. Yeah, he's going to go with Big is like a fun name. We were thinking You can be big grandpa, but you cannot be big daddy fucking by the way Mike drop Robert I mean, I feel like you just took the name after I wanted. Yeah, but hold on we could keep going on this But the reality is that's a game-changing Statement Robert you crushed it. Yeah, you can be be big grandpa but I'm a big daddy

you know what I'm saying if I'm the grandpa sorry if I offended you yeah you're right you're right because I do porno yeah but Robert are you willing to actually do that hammer yes oh yes I'm 100% lying cat and waiting cat are you really cat are you willing to film it on your phone and have your phone ready just like you're doing, like weird texts? Yeah. And you've got your texting and then you've got or taking pictures. Yes. And then just take video and just put it on Robert as he sets the fucking standard that he is the only daddy

room like pick up motion and stuff that can probably get a nice wide angle. Oh, wow. Listen, I mean, we would love to- We can get coverage. We would love to cut this thing together and make it a 20-minute special. Yeah, yeah, I agree. No, just get us some footage.

We honestly, we have our, I've already emailed Sundance. They're interesting. Yeah. We just need to have a rough cut down by the first. And two stars. Yeah. Well, listen- We just need to have a rough cut down by the first. And two stars. Yeah. Listen. But by the way, I think this is great, Robert.

When you do it and it gets uncomfortable, I think you're allowed to smile a little bit so it's not a fight, but also be firm. This is your child and somebody's saying, I would like to be this child's father. And you're saying, sorry, my man man I sprayed bait and I made this thing it's mine yeah I know I was thinking just like not blinking the entire time I love it but possibly I love it but but if your eyes get really dry and they start to water don't cry lose it if you start getting weepy eyes you cry and get bloodshot you've lost yes so don't be afraid to throw a blink or two in there but I like the intensity G there is right don't go down a weird road where

you're like I decided to look at the Sun we just say the big daddy eyes are the normal for the rest of the day and everyone's like he's Robert Cooley shouted he's big daddy and then he had like a cry I freak out and you're going it's allergies and I was like you got emotional I think already on a weird road here so I think not blinking all right we're part going down a weird road here, so I think not blinking might just be part of the culture. Kat, Kat, Kat, you're big daddy for sure. Kat, you called in. Do you think we've solved the problem today if this all happens?

I do, as long as my dad reacts okay to that. We're never going to know until we try it. Yep. No, listen, Robert sounds very, he sounds very authoritative. I think it's good But if it doesn't work, we'll come back and we'll try again real fast Robert you and Big Daddy and a brawl who wins Me are you kidding me? Okay? I don't know So worst-case scenario you do what Pedro Martinez did to Don Zimmer you I just show dominance. I just say that because every once in a while I've gotten a fight with this dummy in my garage and I can't beat his ass.

Yeah. So for those of you who maybe you guys aren't familiar with this, but Jake's turning his yard into an animal graveyard and then in his garage he's got a fake locker room set where he wrestles with a weighted dummy who beats him up. Well it's a little shit talker. He hurts my feelings. Yep. Jake's made him. He says terrible things about you. Yeah, that's not surprising. It's all super crazy and weird, but Jake's happily married somehow, but that's not about him. Robert, follow up with it.

This is a big one. We really think you're gonna win. Come on, Cat Big Daddy, let's go. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Bizz, bizz, bizz, bizz, bizz, bizz, bizz, bizz, bizz. And shark, we are brought to you by Stitch Fix. Thank you. Buz, buz, buz, bu online, that's half the battle because you're also trying to figure out what's right.

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top rated doctors today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash HTH, ZotDoc.com slash HTH. Hello. Oh, buddy. It's the shark. Hello. Good. Hi.

Welcome to We're Here to Help. Hello. Oh, buddy. It's the shark. Hello. Good. Hi. Welcome to We're Here to Help. Okay. Can we get your name, where you're calling from? And yeah, I mean your age, it seems like that's dropping off. It's an inappropriate task age. Do you think it is?

No. It gives me a little context. Yeah, who cares? How old are you specifically? What's your name and how old are you? God damn it. Is that wrong? Am I being aggressive? No, I don me a little context. Yeah, who cares? How old are you specifically? What's your name? How old are you? God damn it Is that wrong? I might be aggressive. No Who the hell are you? I'll tell you anything you want it out. Hold on. What's your first name? Rory Rory is this an aggressive start in your opinion?

No, I think this is pretty hard for the court. How fucking old are you please? Okay, okay, that was yeah that was What? Get easy with the. OK, OK. That was. Yeah, that was wrong. That was that felt horrible. Yeah. So let's try again. OK. How old are you? Where are you calling from? The hell are you? Fuck do you want?

What? What? Why are you calling? I'm a little over this call. Fucking speed. OK. Oh, homegirl. All right. Sorry, Rory. So sorry. Totally on me. Totally on me. OK.

I'm 26. OK. And I'm calling from Massachusetts. Nice. What part? Um, what's the county area? How close is that to Rhode Island? Oh, 20 minutes right over the border. Nice. Good work. How do you feel?

Smart. I mean, our bar is so low for intelligence. Great. Great. OK, Rory, what can we do for you today? Yeah, so I was hoping you guys could help me out with a little bit of a problem I'm having in the bedroom. You called the right place. Yeah, because we have a lot of problems. Sorry, wait, no.

Okay. Okay, so my husband and I have been married for like two years now, but we've been together since high school Okay, last so we've been you know, we've been fucking a long time nice What is I fucking about after two years of marriage? Yeah, it's cool. Yeah Yeah You fuck him. He makes love to you. Does he cry? Do you scream and does he cry who doesn't? Yeah, Rory You've been having sex you guys fuck you do crazy stuff, you've been together since you've been teenagers. What's happening?

Yes. So, great sex, he always satisfies me, makes sure I'm good to go. The problem is, past few years, he's just been coming way too fast. It is like, losing his virginity all over again. Past next caller. And I just don't know what to do. He's just been coming way too fast. It is like losing his rigidity all over again. Pass. Next caller. And I just don't know what to do. Here's if we find the solution, tell me. Gareth, you got any pitches?

Yes. Another man should be banging you. No. Here's my pitch to you. Be happy. It's a compliment. Thank him. Thank him.

That means you're beautiful. Give him 10 minutes and then he'll regoo. Yeah. Did you say regoo? Yeah With that hair goo That's what I put in it It's the regoo Paul Mitchell's regoo. So Rory the problem is this you guys have been together. You have a great relationship He satisfies you after explosion But lately for the last one. Yeah, wait a second. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on

She's your your you're being satisfied. You're just mad that after you're satisfied. He's coming too fast after the issue She just said well Rory the floor is yours walk us through this one Because if you're both satisfied you just want him to keep going for optics? You want multiple. No, well, that's not the problem. So we don't, we don't, so I'm an old-fashioned girl, right? I don't know where guys have some penetration. I need a little bit of a rub down there.

Oh, I understand. I got to know before. So we, that gets taken care of before we even, you know, before he goes inside. However, once we get to that point, and I'm not saying like, oh, it's, it's five minutes to it's like a minute and a half. Doesn't matter. I get we can do it four times in one day and it's still a minute. And I just and he's you know, he was just he could last longer.

He's a minute man. I well, okay, the problem is okay He takes care of you prior because you can't finish from penetration So he takes care you so you're good to go We met it in a half and then and then he goes what's only a minute at taking care of you No, when I can't work at them from the penetration because it's only a minute a half Oh, maybe they could longer. You know, I don't work at them from the penetration because it's only a minute and a half longer. You don't know. I don't know. Have you ever from penetration with him or has he been a minute man forever?

Well, so here's the thing, right? Started having sex when we were like 15, 16. So it didn't actually get good until we were like out of college. And then at that point we moved in together and we had this problem. Is he your first? Yeah. Oh yeah. We're each other's's gotten worse. Is he your first? Yes. Oh, yeah. We're each other's first.

But here's something interesting, Gareth. Yeah. At 21, what are we calling this guy? We'll call him Gene. Gene? Well, no wonder he's coming so fast. I'm sorry, I couldn't go longer. Nearly perfect name.

It's either Gene or we're calling him Alvin. I made the bed wet again. Does he refer to you as mommy? Mommy, look at the size of the spot I made. Help me, Queen. Hey, yuck. So I just just to get clear on this, when you guys were 22 year old kids and seniors in college gene was lasting longer yes weird it's weird to be 26 I'm saying so this is an interesting

caller I'm glad you called you have called the right show what was the moment when it started going down when we moved in together weird hmm can you say well I Weird. Can you relate to this at all? That's what I'm saying. It's weird. Well, I mean, I think you have a sliding scale through your life of how long. But the thing is, when you get comfortable in a relationship, your time goes up. Agreed. So I wonder- But why would it go down?

That's what I don't understand. We're going to get to the bottom of this. The only reason I could think it could go down is because he's like She doesn't want me to yeah, he's like, let's get it over like yes Because if you're trying this like okay, so if you're trying to make someone finish through fucking yes You there are things you can do moves. There's moves. There's slowing down There's giving your you know stop and drilling for a minute and taking a breather You could think about their are. Curling of your hair.

You can curl your hair further. Yeah, but I agree. But but if you're not. Yes. Then it's a sprint. Yes. Then then. And if someone I mean, there are certain things, too.

It's like if you are banging and someone's like, don't stop right there. You're like, that's the worst thing to say. You're like, you should be saying is how hurts. Then you'd be like, I feel bad. And that helps you. When someone's like, you're killing it. You're like, don't pep talk. Yeah hurts. Then you'd be like, I feel bad. And that helps you less. When someone's like, you're killing it. You're like, don't pep talk. Yeah.

Don't make any sounds at all. Right. It's not like he, it's not like we haven't had these conversations. Like Rory walk us through the conversation. So when you've, when you brought this up, what happens? Will you play both characters so we can get a sense of it? Yeah. It's weird for us to jump in and play this.

Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. Unless we're going to. Oh, this. Okay, cool cool cool. Oh, so, oh, that sounds great. Thanks for that, Zach. Cool. Here's the towel. Yeah, you know, it was great.

Would have loved if it lasted a little bit longer. Yeah, me too. Oh, so why'd we stop then? Oh, I don't know. Okay, well, you want to last longer. I would be cool to last me longer. Maybe like, what can we do? We've tried everything. Tried condoms, no condom, changing positions, staying in the same position, being silent, having clothes on. Have you tried cleaning clothes on? Yeah, besides the, uh, general's.

Well, I keep my shirt on. Yeah, well not his shirt. I don't think him taking his shirt off is going to make him come any faster. Or you would be yours. He's like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to wear a fedora and high socks. I'm going to throw boots on. It's like, Hey, Jean, it's more about what you're seeing. I'm going to do raincoat.

Yeah. Uh, have you tried the shift change? Have you tried giving him 10 minutes and then jumping right back in? Yeah. And that's so we have made it a thing where we like dedicate an entire Saturday Having sex multiple times to see how what we can do. It's great But then again literally like our couple weeks go we just forward four times in one day Still a minute and a half. Yeah pops. So in the end, it's about six minutes. So that's not my pitch.

Here's my pitch. So just do it 12 times a day. Yeah, it's the cumulant. It's the cumulant. Sweetie, when you look back at this, you're going to add up all the time. Think of all the minutes he's giving you. Hours. Here's what I'm thinking.

Here's my first pitch. Gareth, tell me if I'm going wrong on this. If you're looking to spice up a relationship, one thing you could do is throw like sexy porno on, right? If you're looking to slow it down, throw cocoon on. An old movie about older- She's 26, we gotta think of, put on cars. Well how about, no, well cars, I don't know.

Toy Story. I want something where- He's already lightning McQueen. But listen, I'm looking for something with a bunch of old people getting in a pool for fountain of youth stuff sure and while he's Doing this you're not talking. I'm not making any sounds. He's just watching Alfred what's his last name? Yeah, I want to see that I want to see that guy

If I'm looking at see that guy on a porch. If I'm looking at his old ass on a porch, I'm staying. I like it. I think that's good. Yeah, because one of the things you do when you're in this position and you're trying to last as long as possible is you kitchen sink it. So you will be like, I mean, baseball, baseball, or you'll be like I mean you can be like she's bro I've got something I got one too go you go well okay I like what if you if

you had an honest conversation what if you put a clock in the corner pressure pressure but maybe it's like he might be losing himself he might be losing himself in the process thinking it's going longer like sometimes I'll be on stage and I'll be like I gotta i gotta be almost done. I'll be like 20 minutes Ha fuck just got here. Yeah, if you're like bombing it's like so it might help you a little bit. That's why i feel working out Yeah, yes, I left two things. I go like this fuck i've been here for two hours My back i'm done and the dummy's like it's been 40 minutes No, the dummy at that point is like get on the ground get on the ground and i'm like stop it throw cocoon on come on

Yeah, you're doing finish finish me. Yeah, so here's a thought Rory. Tell me if this is wrong or crazy What about he you start off? You know, whatever you guys do. He finishes year off when you refer to it I believe is a rubdown You then start entering the next phase of your relationship It starts getting a little sexual it begins you're into the mode of penetration penetration penetration you say in his ear how's your mom doing oh and then he goes what you go keep going I got what's going on with this dad this is this is fucking great I got a little bit tense before because that's okay

How about this dare I? Hold on air says oh my god those enchiladas are not agreeing with me Yes, I I really think I have a terrible stomach ache I'm sorry like I get gassy this is I'm not kidding agreed. This could be a breakthrough for mankind at 26 His boner is probably going to keep going then if he goes you want to stop and you go like this no i you just really like this right rory i know you're against it but can i just say that jake has for me maybe if you're how are your parents doing yeah i mean i like enchilada too man so rory to you now you've gotten a zone and that is either ask about very-

It's pretty brilliant. Ask about very unsexy stuff or talk about very unsexy stuff that's happening to you during it. What are you thinking when we bring that up to you? What are your thoughts? Yeah, so off the bat, I want to enjoy the sex too, right? So bringing up his mother for me personally, I'm not sure. Well, hold on. Let me say something. Rory, let me say something.

Okay. You've listened to this show before, right? Every episode. And that's really nice. Thank you. That's great. That's cool. That's cool. All 15 of them or all like 150? Yeah. Is this a fake, every one of them? Okay. I haven't listened to the last three. Fair. That's fair. I'll listen to that. Okay. Hold on. No, that's not quiz. I don't want to lose this. I haven't last listened to the last three. Fair. That's fair. Hold on. No, that's not quiz. I don't want to lose. Okay. What's been going on? What's the last three?

What's going on? Busy? Certainly not busy in the same. You got a lot of time. You got the time. You listen to audio book. I just started. Get that off your phone. I know. I know. It's disgusting. I know. I know. Read a book. Listen know, I know. Read a book, listen, ask, give bad advice. You're not gonna learn more from a show than this. Great, so let me... Well, all day today to prepare for this, I listened to so many episodes. Let me tell you this, you're doing a great job. You're doing a great job, tell people, thank you. But let me say this. Oh, I always do. Let me say this, we could stop selling Patreon merchandise, shark shirts. Go ahead promo code here to dog

That's not what this is about that's not what this is about here's what this is about a trend sometimes slash we're here to help I think so Facebook accounts Squarespace. Okay. Now we're good. No, who cares? Okay, just else. This is what he should say in her ear agreed This is a boner killer Sometimes you got to run a mile to go a block. There he is. And a lot of our pitches, we know where to, but here's what we're saying to you, you really need to run a mile.

So of course you want every session of sex to be good, but maybe we need to break the spell. Yes. And that is, take three sessions where you go, I can't believe I'm talking about his mother in enchiladas. And then you go, we lasted eight minutes. Then you say to him, hey cowboy, that was the longest we've gone in a while. I felt great.

Now his confidence is back. Yep. Because he might be in his head. Confidence. Yes. Well, yeah, of course. Well, let's listen. But I think that's right.

Right. Yes. I think we're trying to break the stallion. And you might need to be part of us And that is you're going in a weird direction But you're gonna bring up mom you're gonna bring up enchiladas and maybe even a third thing and then on the fourth session Nothing nothing and see if he's longer. Yes. What do you think Rory? Okay? Okay, I mean I'm I can talk a few a few go around. Yes. I mean, it's like two men.

My only greed. Yeah, I think that's how your mom shoots. But if it comes to the past, so we are there is a potential downside. And it's the biggest explosion she's ever felt. She's like, whoa. What happened? And he goes, I don't know. I'll patch the wall. Yeah.

I've never had an orgasm like that. Whoa. Yuck. We'll patch the wall. Yeah. I've never had an orgasm like that. Woo. Yuck. We should call my mom. Yeah. I love my mommy. Oh.

Rory. Oh, my worst nightmare. Yes. What are you going to do? Okay. What are you going to do? Yeah. You like it?

What do you think? I don't love it, but I'll do it. I think it's fair. I think the enchilada is probably isn't the move because you know after being with someone for so long He'll he'll fuck me after big blows of diarrhea. He doesn't really care Thank you for title. Yeah I'd skip that one Especially I'm eating. Oh

What kind of show is this? It's not good, but who are these hacks photo? That's stupid. Yuck. They called this shark tank. Yeah Gross don't pick it up. It's hard to hurt and get it get a job. It's hurting Rory back to you. So let's do something here You are you garethareth is Jean. Wow. Rory, first of all, are you comfortable with me being Jean in this? Yes, I love that we're calling it Jean. Yeah, and I'm not going to push it for once in my life. I'm not going to go crazy.

Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I think this guy goes big. Now that I'm thinking about it. You got to go big at home. OK, here we go. We are going to see what happens. The whole scene is under a minute and a half. And let's well, let's say we're 80 seconds into the scene. OK, so you guys have been in the loop. I'm closing in.

So here's that's exactly right, Jean Rory. His body is doing the stuff that he is, you know, because you've been fucking him since you've been kids. Jean's going to finish it. Yeah. It's you are within 10 seconds of Mommy Blast Off. Okay, here we go. Ready? Okay.

And act. Oh, babe. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, so I was thinking Thanksgiving's coming up. Do we really have to go to your mom's again or do you think we should do our own thing? Hold on. I don't know.

Yeah, so your mom, you know how I feel about her. Thanksgiving, what are your thoughts? I don't know. We can do whatever you want, babe. We can do whatever you want. Whatever you want. Oh, so I'm Thanksgiving what your thoughts? I don't know we could do whatever you want, but we can do whatever you want whatever you want Oh, so I'm thinking I'm basically don't go do you want to call her and tell her we're not going? Not now but uh, yeah pretty good distracting Roy, but also you Rory that was great. You kept pushing. Yes, you know what your you consistent and what you nailed Maybe we don't even have to do enchiladas and mom daily tasks. I quite also a thing he has to think about.

Hey, what if we don't go there? And also you said you wanted to go to Target to get those curtains. I was thinking rather than the white one, should we get the brown? Something you've been asking him to do. Did you get that refund? Or he goes, what? Yeah. I haven't fixed the towel hook in the bathroom. Yeah. You can have how close you to when are you doing that? And if you don't do it, should I do you want me just to call some dude?

And he's like can we talk about this in literally three seconds? Yeah, no, no, and then if he slows down going this jean Keep going. I think it's pretty good really confusing. I think it's good. You know what this reminds me. It's annoying Yes, but you know this reminds me of there's some sort of and I'm gonna say it incorrectly because it's my brand But there's some sort of therapy where they mess with your eyes. I think it's called like EMDR where you, you're the, it's like an eyes and a sound thing. And what happens is you're talking about some trauma, then that happens. And your brain gets all shaken up.

So you start re-seeing your own memories differently. I'm butchering it. Yeah, but still but that's what we're doing here Yes, he is right in the pattern of like I'm Jean I come in a minute My wife is disappointed. Well, you're kind of we're you're trying you're fucking with his neuro pathways Yeah, trying to create a new version of what his mind is doing during this This might be the first time in a while where I think we're doing good work. I know, and this is, the best part is I agree,

the worst part is Rory's like, I'll try it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the worst part's gonna be for Gene. Yes, for Gene when he's like, I don't know. But I think that Rory, if you pull this off and you do it the way you just did that, and if he stops, you have him keep going, and then while you're having sex

He's not in the pressure of lasting long. He's not in the pleasure of this feels good He's not in whatever weird fantasy genes thinking about yeah He is in a daily task of fixing something in the fucking bathroom menial if you can shoot a load While thinking of a chore you should be in pornos. Yes It's pretty good. I like have love dog. I like it. Yes, but your have loves doggie style You're not a title. Come on. Maybe a title. Yes started to write it down Uh, but you're you're not love not a title But you're doing a move that could actually rewire him. And I got a feeling in about three months,

you two guys are gonna be fucking like 22 year olds. I think it's pretty good. I have another pitch if you call back, but I- Let's just hear it, we're here. Well, position wise, he's gonna have ones that he likes less. Is that true, Rory? Well, here's the thing, we've, again- She said they We, again, it's only been a few years of just not long. So we really have like our three go-to positions.

We haven't really branched out too much since we were kids. I would branch out. You think that's gonna make them last longer? I don't know, maybe. That's interesting. So Rory, what are the three positions? Mish? Okay, so missionary, of course. No positions? Mish. OK, so dog.

And of course, of course. No, not a girl on top, me on top. Uh huh. And then a little little side action. I go on my side. OK, I'll be honest. I like all those. Yeah. I I like cheeseburgers and fries. I'm going to say something crazy here.

I like an ice cream sundae. Exactly. Yeah. I would try doggy. Give that a shot. So we, we, so we've done that in the past. It just makes me feel, I think we might get to the inch a lot of it makes you feel like I'm going to shit myself. Yeah. By the way, how about that?

Yes. Hold on Rory then say, I want to try this, but just FYI, I feel like I might shit myself. And he'll go like this. Guess what his eyes are on. I mean, it's hard to look away. Your problem is going to be, he's going to be like, I want to get a separation. I think we start with where we were at. I like it.

One more question. Please. Are the lights on or off when you're doing this? Pitch black, blasting sound. It depends. Is this in the morning? The sunlight? So you've tried. Is it at night? One more question, please are the lights on or off when you're doing this pitch black blasting sound it Depends if it's in the morning the Sun light you've tried night pitch black there. Okay. Well you guys are pitch black Yeah, it's back me. Well party in bed. Oh my god, you're already you know Usually happens after we've gone bad kind of thing women always in the middle like with me. It's strange Not after the new hair. No, no

I wear the barber shirt. He had his spotlight. I sing a little. When I finish. We do a mask on the face, just the hair. And then there's the guy behind you. So, Rory, I think we start with your first move. Yeah. I think the acting was great.

Yeah. It was really convincing. I felt like, I feel like that's going to work. What do you feel? Yeah. I mean, I'm not sure if I was great. Yeah, it was really convincing I felt like I feel like that's gonna work. What do you feel? Yeah, I mean i'm i'm willing to try anything first couple times. I just throw in some chores while it's happening If you look gives me weird face just say no, it's fine. Keep going. It's fine. Keep going. We'll talk about later And then bring it up again. No, you don't talk about it later. We keep going and then he'll go. We just keep going, okay.

You are driving the conversational train and then he goes like, are you not enjoying this? Go, it's great, keep talking. He might afterwards go, that was really weird and you go, I hear you, I just wanted to get that off my chest. And again. But he doesn't have to know why.

And I feel like for these first couple, it's not about, I would say it's all just about extending his performance. You know, you're kind of going to be distracted too. It's just like a few away from this. We're just trying to see if he can last longer. Then you can worry about it. And then do us a favor, Rory, because this is a, this is a fun one.

Will you call us back after the three sessions? Yes. And I don't want Gene. No. I think this is a hard one for Gene. I think we, we, you don't tell Jean about the podcast if you're comfortable. We'll wait on that. OK. But let's just see if this is going to work.

You guys seem to have a pretty active thing. So that callback could happen soon. You know, and if it's not three times, if it's once, but there was something that's worth calling on, I just I feel like this happy. This is going to be a happy ending. How many how many minutes away are you from completion? Do you think what do you mean? Oh when they're going? Yeah, it's too early. Oh me. Yeah, um You I don't know. Oh, so it's there. Oh, you're saying during penetration. It's building

Yes. Yes, and that's why I don't want it to stop. It's not just like oh, this is this is cool It's like oh we could be going somewhere. I think I think we can get you going to my gareth You might have actually said something earlier Or are you making crazy sounds as you're getting closer? Yeah, that's bad well When he's beforehand yes, but he's not inside when he's in me. No, I'm just kind of like I know what a terrible answer But we won't dig into that for now before I'm in the rub down. Oh Yeah, but still good. Yeah. Yeah. No, but again, I think that's right. I think what we're going for is the anti

Enjoyments said that and that's where we're at. Yeah, so we're good. So Rory give it a shot See if we're extending the time and then yeah, why don't we do three or four call us back and we'll get an update All right. Okay. There's also I'll be thinking of you there's also another thing you could do that's really unsexy and that is hacky jokes and like silly voices you're cutting away why do an impression of me during so I don't understand how's that about you I do impressions that do accents we all get jokes yeah we're doing a podcast. OK. Thank you.

You think I didn't wear a ton of wigs in my sketch comedy day? You don't think I was doing accents? You don't think I was alienating audiences? To be fair, I think I was more, but OK. I would bet. Sir, I'd love to see you collect the props. I think we've been on the same stages, Bob. Sir, do you have a green screen in your garage?

I rest my case. I might have at a certain point. I have one now. Continue. So here's what I mean by that. During sex, if all of a sudden he's doing something and you go like, oh boy, that's a tickler. That's a spicy.

Like, oh my, oh my, yubba yubba. And he'll go like. Aruga. And then you go afterwards with a dead face. I'm just being hilarious. And then you'll go, he'll do something else and you go like. my yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yubba yub Like I would say the third one go a little goofy. Yeah. Yep. I like it Like channel my inner Jessica day. Oh, yeah, I mean you think you're me. Yeah Yeah, it would be it would be hard to finish during that because what we're doing is we're confusing him Yes, we are we are messing with the neuropath. We are messing his part of his brain is going the rewiring

Yes, but also like I love my wife go to work we fuck in the dark in the morning the sunlight comes in and we're just going let's all hope and he goes what yeah hey can you get that thing from the other room what other thing you're turning the towel puzzle the towel your mom doing good and thanksgiving plan huh it's gonna be parking's gonna be terrible this year yeah should we take a lift huh an uber what maybe i'll drive maybe we don't drink i've lost my erection there we go and that's fine too that okay because they when we can get it back right away That's problem. Yeah, it goes away and comes back. Yeah, the time's still yeah, we resurrected. It's a resurrection Rory Please follow up. This is I was where yes. No, no

What were you gonna say? I was gonna I was gonna say I I don't want to I don't want to not be able to finish Cuz then I feel like he just won't want to. Look. He'll finish. Believe me. In 20 seconds he'll finish. He's finishing. Okay.

Don't worry. We can rebuild it. Can we keep it going? That's exactly right. Yeah. We got him. All right. He's got it.

All right. All right. Sounds good. I'm excited. I'll keep you guys posted. We're all excited. So mostly we end this with a thanks for the call, but we're going gonna end this with you're welcome. Yeah, you're welcome And we're finished just like gene but it took way longer than a minute and a half. Yeah along with yeah Yeah, about 30 minutes. We all finished. Yeah, it's nice tell gene to fuck off I just went 30 minutes. Bye Rory. Bye. Sorry about that. Bye guys

Thanks. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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That's helloalma.com slash here to help. Hey, everyone. It's the shark and if this is your first episode, that's my nickname. The original call from this next follow up aired on January 4th. It's called That's Not It with Jeff Kober and it's the second call from the episode. So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy. Hello? Wow.

Okay. You're a follow up call? Yes, yes. Go for it. Enjoy. Hello. Hello. Wow. Okay. You're a follow up call. Yes. Yes. Hey, hey, yeah, I am. Okay. What is your name? Hannah. Hannah. Yeah. Whoa. So you know what I'm thinking?

No. What was your first call? Uh, my husband's bosses on the couch. Nevermind your husband. What? The boss is on the couch. Nevermind, your husband what? Floss is on the couch. Oh, couch floss. This was a long time ago. Couch floss.

It's been a while. We love you, we talk about you. So Hannah. Do you really? Yes. Yes, well this was one of the early ones that helped us figure out what our show is. Yes, this was a fight fire with fire.

And also this feels like, this kind of feels like the question that matters So will you walk us through? What your problem was what our solution was and what you ended up doing and Where are we now? What's the update? Yeah, firstly, thank you for having me back very excited. Thanks for coming. Um Thank you. Yeah, firstly, thank you for having me back. Very excited. Thanks for coming. Thank you. So yeah, you're welcome. No problem. Okay, let's keep going. I appreciate you. Thank you. Thanks a bunch, Hannah. Thank you. Okay. So no problem. So yeah, my husband's boss is on the couch. It's something that he and his family all do after dinner together on the couch.

It's like the clumps. I think it's gross. It's disgusting. We talked about the wolf boy situation, right? That's animalistic, not human. We don't like that. Would be raised by wolves. Sounds like we're pretty hard on the guy, but keep going.

I don't think so. It sounds like he was raised by wolves. I don't know, wolf boy is pretty tough. Okay, so keep going, Hannah. It's not nice. It's not. Oh, god damn wolf boy. He was raised by wolves.

So we decided, you guys agreed with me, this is a bathroom activity, even though Gareth revealed that he does do this for some time. Oh, right. Oh, fuck. You know, that's one of the things that is the worst. We appreciate good physical hygiene. The stuff you say. I'm sorry. I keep going. I have flaws in the car. And so what did we end up saying to do?

We said floss back, right? Yeah. We ran through all of these ways that we could negatively negatively enforce reinforce this behavior and like shame Jeff out of flossing on the couch so I was going to do something more gross than Jeff in a public area of the house yeah yeah toenails right okay yeah we I think Jake you said that I should go to our dentist and like get Information on how harmful the bacteria in our teeth black is and try to get them So like talk to Jeff about the tab it sure I decided yeah, what did you do?

Well, I decided when we were talking that that wasn't gonna be the right move for Jeff. He needed positive reinforcement so you all suggested that I use the weapon I have in my arsenal which is to To entice him by flashing him or withholding bedroom activities to get him to change his behavior That was a period of time of all of our pitches were that we fell off that lately were into fart machines Yeah, there was a time we Because you know that because it was his idea I'm gonna go but but wait we said to flash no remember we used to say to a lot of callers the way to do this and then to get him don't fuck him we did it a lot don't I said like while he's

fos and show your boobs and then put them away and then he goes like, what are you doing? And it's like, you keep flossing, you're not seeing him again. I love the waves of the show so much. I know, yeah, we have trends. So Hannah, we said, we said flash him when he gets excited to go,

but not with the floss, correct? Well, at first you said to flash him anytime he was flossing in the bathroom. Oh, like positive form. That's better. It's like petting him. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Okay. And then it was like, yeah. Well, you even sound disappointed by our advice now and you've had some time with it. So, okay. Spoiler alert, it backfired in a major way, you guys. All right. Now you got to take over and explain what's happening. I will say it wasn't entirely your fault.

I just really couldn't commit to it and was kind of like so tickled that I had like gone to you guys to seek out this advice and like, haha, I finally cracked the code to happy marriage and great communication, avoiding the problem and going to others for help. And so he was brushing his teeth one day in the bathroom and I flashed him. I was like, yay, you're brushing your teeth in the bathroom. And he's like, what the fuck is going on? Um, I could see, I can see it from his point of view. Yeah.

Feeling weirded out. Yep. Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah. Well, don't talk to me like that. Yeah. All righted out. Yeah. Yeah, you doing yeah Yeah, all right child. I'd like seeing that I'm gonna keep flossing in here cuz you did that but I'm not a child Yeah, but look at me. I'm flossing Okay, so you did it once he didn't love it then what happened no then I just like started getting really weird anytime

he was flossing and just like Judgey and like he could tell something was going on. I was probably nagging him about other things too as wives do and it just built up and led to this huge blowout fight. You're still together right? Oh yeah okay probably closer than ever. All right so Hannah walk us through the fight sometimes we have to walk a weird mile lead you to get in a big fight and then the end it works ma'am I'm gonna try to spin it as our victory Sometimes we plan the big fight stuff because we know it's good for you And it's a net so what happened so you guys got in a big fight, and then what happened?

big fight Hannah's such a nag Everything Jeff does is wrong that was the thesis of that was the thesis of the fight Yeah, you're a nag and he, everything Jeff does is wrong. That was the thesis. That was the thesis of the fight. Yeah. You're a nag and he's always wrong. Okay. And I'm always making him out to be wrong and like taking him apart. So it came to the point where I was

like, all right, honey, guess what? You're going to laugh so hard. I was actually on this podcast that I've been telling you about. And this is why I've been acting this way. Oh, he's I've been acting this way. Oh, he's gonna kill us. Yeah.

No. Don't tell me he's like in the Mongols motorcycle game. So he's a mixed martial artist. He's actually outside the shark tank. That's the perfect for you, Jake. Yeah. Is he a boneless dummy? Yeah, mine's got one bone in him.

So, Hannah, what happened? So you show him the issue. He listens to the episode. So it definitely escalated things. However, the original problem has not been solved. He instead now flashes. Flashes. Sorry. Here's my flashes, uh, flashes. Sorry. Here's my penis. I'm going to floss.

He now flops is in our bed. We're not pitching again. We not know. She almost got divorced. Why not? Why not clip the toenails in bed? Wait, say that again, Hannah. To say that my call helped you guys figure things out was really painful for me to hear considering the outcome.

Let's solve it. All right. You want us to pitch on this? Why not clip your toenails in bed when he does it? There's just a line there, but I'm just knocking across. She doesn't want to mess with it. That's just grow. And I feel like the flossing of this

or tie, so to speak, it's not effective. It hasn't. So here's, I think, you know, we're going to get a bell in here soon and we're going to call it the victory bell or the Vicky bell. Can't remember that something be but we're not going to be bringing it up this one.

So you know what happened Hannah? We just walked a mile. He went. And everybody got tired. And then in the end you said, there's probably an easier way to do it. And I figured it out. And for that, we're happy for you guys.

But this one was in the end I got a pitch good let's make an audio clip right now that she can play whenever he does it and it's something like like you and I right now just go expect that you and I just go yeah okay and then whenever he does it just play this Hannah do you think if we sent this to you you would play it on your phone while he was doing it okay okay in three announcers okay great all right great well, let's give that one first. Let's just do okay. Give her out. Okay, ready whenever Oh my god today's food is on the duvet He's flossing I read the barf on his fucking laws of bitches dude in the living room. Oh my god. It's horrible

raise my wolves Yeah, gross plaque like black guys next one announcers okay and Jake here we are we're wrapping up the day and it feels like a wild thing that's happening Garrett look to your left right now just when we think the day's wrapping up look at him right now he's starting to floss his teeth this is a bathroom activity he's doing in bed right now which I did not expect is he's flossing the back molars of course he is Jacob. We all know that's

where a lot of disgusting food hides itself. I mean, when was the last time this guy did it? It feels like a week. Could you imagine him not going into the bathroom to do this? It's unbelievable. He's flicking lunches left and right right now. Wow, Garth, something just flew out of his mouth. And it's going far, Jacob. Look at that! Oh my god, these are like little like little I gotta say I've been doing this job for 37 years but this will be the first time I barf Jake I thought I'd seen it all and this flossing is brought to you by Oral-B Oral-B Flossing if you're gonna floss use Oral-B and Zoc-Doc. Sure Zoc-Doc take it in a strange direction by the way if you're gonna floss and meals like

this are gonna pop out you may as well do it in the toilet because these are legal movements. And robot litter. And it's disgusting and don't forget pretty litter. Wow, this guy should go do it in a litter box if you ask me. Let's do it again faster. Okay, great, we've got options. Let's do one in 15 seconds so she can actually play it. Okay. In three, two, one. Wow, Jake, look at this bottom of the row and he's flossing away. I can't believe this is happening in bed. It's disgusting.

Look at this one going, going, going all over. Where should a man floss his teeth? Jake, we came up with the bathroom and we put a door on it for a reason. This is absolutely horrifying. What a shock. How's that, Hannah? Would you play that? You guys, I honestly thought that we were helpless at this point, but I, I know I said

it once before, but I really believe this time. Let's do it. Okay. All right. We're gonna send you all three of these. Well, do you want all three or do you want just the last one? You tell us. I like all of them.

We'll send you them. She can have options. Yeah, you're totally right. There we go. We're going to send you everything and then please follow up with us if it goes sideways and leads to a fight. Listen, listen, we, this is a Hail Mary. Oh great. So if it works, amazing.

If it doesn't, we expect that. Yeah, that's true. So let's, let's try it out and let's see what happens. Yeah. I love the optimism there. Thank you. God damn right. We're going to get them. We got them, I love the optimism there. Thank you. God damn right. We're gonna get him We got him in thanks, Hannah

We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds the show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer An editor is AJ McKee. Our social media director is Kaitlyn Tanwakeo, and our video editor is John De Bruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you can check out his music at oliverraleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com. The album artwork is by James Fostike. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fostike, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to garethrentz.com.

Additional artwork by Patty Holland, you can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash year to help pod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only,

and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.