We're Here to Help - 14: Here We Go with Catherine Reitman

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

Jake, Gareth, and special guest Catherine Reitman talk to a caller about a relationship predicament. Later, Jake and Gareth chat with someone about a house guest.  Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]. If you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

and here we are another episode of we're here to Help. Jake, once again, looking awesome in that Green Bay Packer hat. I'm going to tell you, it's easier to wear after watching the Lions and Packers game and seeing Jordan Love being who you in Chicago think he is. I don't think you're allowed to do that with a hat on. Stop. Where are you pulling this from? Do you have a script to put in? They are who we thought they are.

And who were they talking about? They were talking about the Bears. He was talking about the Bears. We have a script they are who we thought they are and who are they talking about they were talking about the bears we have a great episode today we have a special guest who is so hard funny yeah we were lucky enough to have her on this episode kat reitman who is awesome uh i if you want to follow kat she's a great follow follow her at right cat o u so that's r-e-i-t-c-a-t-o-u um but man i i expected greatness but i think we were both like i think what's going on uh she comes back again we after we had her on again she was just so funny one thing i forgot to mention in the thing, you guys did that show Wedding Crashers together? Yeah, the real Wedding Crashers. The real Wedding Crashers.

I think, I know I auditioned for it and didn't get it. I think we auditioned together, Gareth. Yeah, I think we might've been there at the same time. It was the punk group. They were seeing everybody. Yes, but no, we got close. I was in the callback. Oh yeah.

I think you and I, I think there was like eight of us. It was not Ashton, but his partner. you and i think there was like eight of us it was not ashton but his partner yeah no it was um i forget jason yes yes yes and they were pulling people up and i remember it was you i believe it was you i think i remember her from it or i just remember watching her on tv then yeah no it was a really weird show and it did not uh they didn't air all of them but But that's Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, that's Hollywood. Yeah, no, I was like, my career's made.

And then I was like, oh, all right, never mind. But then we have a second call that is an interesting predicament. We probably don't need to get into it too much. It's some Australian domicile issues. You're going to Australia soon, aren't you? Yes, I'll be touring Australia in November. GarethReynolds.com and I'll be all over.

I'll be in all the major cities. Good call, Jake. So yeah, go there for tickets, but that's not what this is about. This is about us helping the people and we definitely do it on this episode. Enjoy the show. Hello. Hi there. on this episode enjoy the show hello hi there thank you hello uh you are on we're here to help you've got jake johnson co-host you've got gareth reynolds and we have an extremely special guest joining us for your call so So you should be very excited.

Okay, truly, one of my, this sounds bad, but maybe one of my oldest friends in the business ever. A friend of mine who I met on the forgettable show, The Real Wedding Crashers, but she is unforgettable outside of that. You have the great Kat Reitman joining as well. So you've got three heavy hitters with advice. Hi there.

So can we get your name, unless you'd like to change it? We're offering a pseudonym. Can we just get your age, and then we'll get into how we can help? Sure. So I'm going to use the name Sally, because like Sally O'Malley, I'm 50 years old. And I live in the great state of Western Massachusetts. Okay, love it. Wait, the great state of Western Massachusetts?

Yeah, Jake, let it go. Yeah, we are. It's a whole other world out here. The state is Massachusetts. Pick up a paper, Jack. All right, All right. All right. I'm excited to go to the big battle between Western and Eastern Massachusetts. What a fight.

Don't go there. Not on this podcast. Don't go there. You know what? You're right, Kat. We're not political. We like the West and the East side of Massachusetts. It's a civil war.

It's a civil war. Fighting for the lobster and the fucking tea okay sally so why don't you uh why don't you tell us why you're following in it all right well um i've been with my uh now husband for about 22 years we got married 11 years ago thank you we raised a pair of twins together they're now out of school and going to work boys or girls they're important boys boys as burt kreischer would ask uh conjoined are they fraternal or identical or connected he literally asked we did his podcast and he goes because I have twins too, Sally. He goes, you guys got, you have twins?

And I go, yeah. And he goes, are they conjoined? Oh, my God. That's a great follow-up. I'm going to use that. He was high. We should point out he was very high when he asked that. So you got twin boys, and they're fraternal or identical, Sally?

Fraternal. Okay. I also have two adult daughters, but they're from a first marriage. Okay. Okay. Still count. No, I don't count those.

They don't exist. Are they conjoined? Can we have them? No. Can we have them conjoined? Is that what you asked, Karen? Yeah, I know a guy. He's the best.

He's the best. Okay, Sally, keep going. So what's the problem, Sally? So it's not really a problem per se. So when we first got married or got together as a couple, my husband was a virgin. He's a very shy person, very introverted. He's fresh out of the Marine Corps. And so here we are, fast forward all these years later.

We've had an incredible marriage. We're very happy. Love each other. Yada, yada, all that great stuff. And back then when we first got together, I would routinely want to sort of say, you know, maybe we need to slow down. You should go experience the world. I had all these experiences and you haven't. At the time, it wasn't something that was important to him.

I love where this is going, Sally. So do I. Keep going, Sally. You know, he's 41. But back then, I had even said to him, you know what? Listen, if we're going to do this thing and we're going to be in a committed relationship, I need you to know that at any point, if you feel the need to go out in the world,

try something different, you get a hall pass, right? Wow. Who did he bang Sally? Nobody. Honestly, it was like we'd forgotten, like I had forgotten about it, but clearly he hadn't. So about a month ago, it came up. It came up. She brought it up or you brought it up?

Well, see, that's the tricky part. It sort of accidentally came into my line of vision so he had asked me to check something and it's too cute this always starts this way right here we go something by the way that is your third intense here we go cat i'm waiting i'm desperately waiting for it i know but you are really ready to get mad you your catchphrase on this is here we go. It's a pod within a pod. Yeah, here we go. I'm dying for a spinoff. I'm dying for here we go is the spinoff. So Sally, how do you accidentally find it? Walk us through that. And what do you find? I just so all I did was I went to type in the search bar, right? Yes,

go on my computer, just hop in my email and just forward this thing. And I just like opened up the browser. You go to type into, you know, the bar, put an address in. And, you know, it always comes up with like history or like recent. And it was very innocuous. It was something like how to remind your wife about a hall pass. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

And that was it. So I. It's the only thing he's looked up for months. Yeah. I'm sure. Oh yeah. Right. So how do you approach him about it?

Is this the kind of thing that you just casually were like, you know, do you admit that you found it? Yeah. Good question. I did. I thing that you just casually were like, you know, do you admit that you found it? Yeah. Good question. I did. I did. We're very open. And, you know, and I just said, Hey, you know,

when I was sending you that thing, I happened to notice. And he got really embarrassed. Of course he did. It's really flustered. Right. And I was just like, listen, like, if this is something that we want to do, he goes, okay,

hold on a second. He's like, you offered that to me over 20 years ago. He's like, clearly that doesn't count. And now it's like a new thing. He's like, how does it make you feel?

He's backtracking. He's backtracking. He, hold on Sally, Sally, Sally, Sally, as a guy, I know his move.

He doesn't Google it to say, like, it's the last thing I was thinking about. We shouldn't even be thinking about it. Where is this coming from? Check my second Google search and it's how to tell a wife that the hall pass she mentioned, I want nothing to do with. That is not what he Googled. That's not what he Googled. That's not what he Googled. By the way, what can we call your husband, Sally?

Let's give a name. Oh, let's call him Jack. Jack and Sally. My question, and I believe more importantly, here we go, is do you think Jack was curious about like, hey, I'm just trying to awaken, you know, my frankenbeans, or is it I saw someone I connected with someone

and I purely am interested in her being the hall pass and does that worry you does that excite you where are you with it ooh if it's that that's dangerous by the way Kat that was my first spit take of this podcast yeah we've ever done yeah here we go on the computer yeah

that was a real here we go how are you already holding up merch for here we go on the computer there's a real here we go yeah that was a real here we go how are you already holding up merch for here we go with count right imagine i bring a mug in and i'm like my problem with the original podcast is they just didn't ramp it again you know they can ramp it all the time sorry sorry sally jack why did jack bring it up, do you think? Or did he admit it? Yeah, well, actually, so he owned it, right? So he was like, yeah, I did do that search. He's like, I was just looking. You know, he's like, we had that conversation a long time ago.

He's like, we're going to do this. He's like, I think we should have a therapist, like talk to a therapist first and just make sure that we're both cool with what might happen. You know, and I kind of gauged his interest in it. And just make sure that we're both cool with what might happen. Respect to Jack. You know, and I kind of gauged his interest in it. I can tell you his interest 100%. Sure.

I said, like, on a scale of 1 to 10. 10. 1,000. 1,000. I mean, 9? If your feelings aren't hurt, 100,000. He's at a nine? He moments of nine, but usually like a two. That was his sort of response.

The second after he masturbates, the second it's done, he's at a two. About an hour later, he's back to a nine. He moments of nine. Catherine, you had a here we go. What was your here we go? You know I'm rampant. I can't stand not rampant. Sally, I'm going to ask a very intrusive question

and feel free to tell me to F right off, but how's the sex? I mean, I imagine you've been married a significant... Okay. You feel satisfied? We are very hot for each other still. Yeah. Yeah. He's, my husband's gorgeous. Like, and the marriage is good. Everything else is good too.

Yeah. I'm going to jump in here, Sally. So you guys have brought up a hall pass, which takes us to right now. What is the question for this podcast? What can we help you with Sally? for this podcast. What can we help you with, Sally? I guess the question is how, number one, how can I convince my husband that I really am on board? Because he seems to have lots of reservations,

which is normal. Is he? Does he have reservations? I think so. I think Jack seems shy enough. He doesn't want to ruin his love story. Doesn't want trouble. Yeah, part of it to him was like, you know, he's like, also on the other side of the same coin, how many people do you know can say that?

He's like, we just love each other, you know? And it's like, because our marriage is good and because we have a good open communication, he feels that it's, you know, if we were ever going to do it now's a good time right the kids have grown we're both happy okay um you know and he extended the whole path to me too which is hilarious he's like okay so the the number one thing is how to convince how to convince him that that you're okay with it and then two is there a second part to this of if you do go forward with it, who does he do it with? Can I just pause? I'm just going to pause.

Because I have a feeling both of these very, you know, progressive, open-minded, awesome guys are going to say, absolutely convince him to do it. And then find the person you want to bang. And my God, what a world. But my concern. Here we go. Here we go with sia by the way she's smoking a capri cigarette right now yeah listen listen up i just have just ashtrays everywhere and books behind you that are so dusty here we go so dusty here we go is number 10 on spotify right now i'm coming for you we're just recording this right now it's live i've got six podcasts going at all times it's all fucking live wild

um i just can't wait to get off this so i can get onto another podcast and blast jazz now listen to me listen to me sally sally's my concern. And I'm not going to pretend, like a lot of very healthy marriages have had a moment where they discuss like, you know, I'm in this for the long haul. At one point, would you consider this? Opening the marriage up, trying this, trying this. Here we go. Here we go. But what I always come back to, and you can call me closed off, is once you go and dip your foot in that water, what's to stop you from going, hey, whenever I got that itch, I just go do it again? And does that in any way, like, and I know you're being cool and you're being awesome and he's a virgin coming into this. You're trying to, like, expose him. And that's so open-minded and cool of you.

But is there any part of you that wants to honor yourself for a sec oh here we go and just think about does this spoil the pond yeah so you're saying dipping your toe into this might spoil your beautiful pond that you've got with him is that where you're going with this gap i guess so i mean you keep saying how beautiful your connection with him is that the sex is still this great relationship. Are you sure you want to mix that up? Is maybe that's what you need? Maybe that's not I don't know. Yeah, I mean, that was my that's my big concern, right? I mean, that's what I shared with him almost immediately. You know, okay, we're okay. On the one hand, we're all we're all great, and everything's everything's fine you know so why would you want to risk putting a wrinkle in that i'm going to go in a slightly

different direction here than where cat was going and i'm going to go with here we go this here we go my version is not a pre-cigarette it's a cigar and like a whiskey because guess what here we go and i'm on the radio every fucking morning let me tell you what guys want here cat by the way we have been off cat without gareth and it's the gal take yeah i was gonna stay i just got iced out here we go with jake and cat no with my nickname is my nickname is the dog cats and dogs cats. Cats and dogs. Cats and dogs. And I'm the rat. No. Come on. Let me work.

Did you say you're the rat? Yeah. A little bit of cheese. Listen, you're embarrassing yourself a lot. A little bit of cheese. I need this more than anyone. Stop it. So Sally, here's where I'm going to go with you. This man, he's fallen in love.

He seems to be a great husband. You seem to be a great wife and you guys seem to have a great thing. What I would be nervous about is because when he has sex with somebody else, he's going to go like, wow, that magical thing I do with Sally, I can do with others. Right. And then, you know, you might get addicted to as rat as Gareth says is the cheese. Right. But there is a professional path because you cannot get addicted to paying somebody who you know, doesn't like you, you know, is not interested, but it is a

professional service. Right. I would go if you're going to go go down this road do not meet a random woman where he's like dude we got coffee she likes the same movies as me pass on that pass on that path right you've heard from the cat you've heard from the dog it's time to hear from the rat yeah let me cheese it up and hope that my neck doesn't get snapped by a contraption that outsmarted me here, Sally. Shut up, Garrett. Hey, dog, get out of here. Rat time. You're in the hole with the rat.

We live in the walls, and Sally, pull up a mini stool, because I got a matchbox. I sleep in. Kevin, cut all the rat. Cut all the rat. By the way, the rat right now on Spotify, 2804. So things are not good on the rat cast. Not working. Not good on the rat cast.

This is what I would say. I think everything that has been said is true. What a generic statement, rat. After all that said setup it's all true what a rat i just want cheese and i want to live in your filth i want to i just want to promote my sponsor um i obviously if he is looking for this he he wants. Right? So I think to some extent. It's going to happen. Yeah, I think it's there.

It's going to fester. I think you kind of have to honor it to some extent. You seem to have a great attitude, not only about this, but just about all of this. You're very understanding. Are you hitting on her? No, he's trying to be liked so that his podcast. What I think you got to do is find a rat for yourself. No.

I think the way to do it is to be included in the process. And I think to what Jake's saying, I definitely think you want to make this as detached as possible. Yep. And so that's what I would do. Right. I would just go some professional i don't think and the good news is i don't think anything like that to him is necessarily going to open up pandora's box especially if you guys are being so healthy about it now i think that will

just kind of give him a taste of what else is out there you say you have a very sick a very healthy sex life and a very sexy health life um so i think that it's gonna be like just a good way for him to scratch that itch and not really worry about it from then on so i think like my gut would be like you know i would i would feel more worried than you do so i just think go the route where he can kind of just get it out of his head and you can talk about it healthily and he's not going to be able to form some attachment. So I, I think you do honor it.

And I would just go the route that Jake is sort of pitching the dog. Cat respond. I see you wanting to respond to the rat cats and rats. I think it's a look. First of all, you never trust a rat. Anyone knows that you don't trust rats. You kill them.

You kill them. You get them out of your house. I think this is a can of worms, Sally. That's what I think. If you were my close friend, and I feel like you are, don't get weird about it. Here we go in the worst way. Keep going,

Kat. Keep going, Kat. I think it's a can of worms, and I think that everyone I know who's either opened their marriage to a threesome or like just this one time or the escort. For me, I feel like there are so many ways of sexing up your sex life with your partner that doesn't open up this can of worms. And I'm sure you've already explored it. And it sounds like you already it sounds like this is going to happen, like Dog said. So I don't want to I don't want to step on it. I would just, uh, I would just

keep the communication lines open. So Sally, you've heard kind of three options here. What do you think you're going to do? If we do go forward with this, it's definitely going to be with a professional, but Kat mentioned something about um you know bring in something home to spice it up so maybe i'll just come up with some creative interludes for us and like you know just divert the attention away to something else like but i'm open to it i mean obviously we're invested in this story. So if you can keep us posted, you know, maybe we could do a follow-up.

I would say keep us posted if you go the third, but if the follow-up is like, we have even bonded more than enjoy your life. Yeah, just enjoy your life and enjoy it. But if you guys go a third- I'll update when there's an update. Yeah, if there's a real update, uh,

we're very interested in Sally. Thank you so much for the call. Yeah. Jake wants an update. If it's a ratings winner. Thanks Sally. And, uh,

thank you Kat, uh, for joining us and helping us. Remember, listen to Kat's new podcast. Here we go. Here we go. Today's episode is brought to you by Babbel.

That's right, Jake. Listen, you know what Babbel is, right? Science-backed language learning app that actually works, which I find to be very important. Science-backed, Jake. Listen, don't bother paying hundreds of dollars for a private tutor. They come over. They're, like, asking for snacks.

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that's a big-ass turn. And applicable to situations you're going to find yourself in. When I think back to taking French, it was just so much of it. It was like, I'm never going to do that. It's like, how do you order food? How do you get a drink? How do you ask for directions?

So Babbel's great. Now listen. Listen, everybody. Should we bring him in? Wait, one quick pause. Should we bring him in? Right. One quick pause. Should we bring in the closer? Studies from Yale, this is interesting, Michigan State University and others prove that Babbel is better. So one study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to

a full semester at college. So if that's true, which Yale's no joke, it's just putting schooling in a a different light yes you spend 15 hours let's say you didn't go to college and you always feel like well i don't know i didn't go to college 15 hours you just did a semester yeah that's wild yes that's a wild study so speaking of language should we bring in the closer or should i do it? Closer. Alright, hold on. Let's get him. Kevin? Door's open. Oh, you meant Gil. I meant Kevin. I thought Kevin was going to do it. No, I thought we were talking about the closer.

We were. He parked in front of all our cars, so might as well. Oh, we can't leave. Well, what's the problem? Go ahead. So that old jalopy is Gil's? Yes. And you can turn it off, I guess. No, keep it running.

It's bad for something. A lot of smoke. I'm pausing a serious accent. Now listen, here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get 55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners. This isn't for people who don't listen, like Laura from one of the calls earlier. These are standalone? At Babbel.com slash hth. Jake, let me finish.

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We're off. I got to go back to the jalopy. Rules and restrictions. I am fine. This episode is brought to you by ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Garth, what does that mean to you? Well, it means a lot because as you know, my mother was in town for a while. She had a hip replacement and it was crazy. It was a crazy situation. And there were so many

times, so many things like complications were popping up. And there were multiple times where we wanted to find a doctor appointment quickly, somewhere close use that doc yeah you would use that doc because it's just so much harder if you're just like you know like using search engines to try to find someone and then you call do they take your insurance the problem has it's all there for all the problem with also just searching it is all the ads pop up. Yes. And what I like, I actually use ZocDoc since we started doing it. I do like that it keeps it really clean and you can put all your information in. Yeah. Did you use ZocDoc for your knee?

I did use ZocDoc for my knee, which I am going to get an MRI on. Oh, you are? But we don't think it's a tear. That's the good news. But I am going to get an MRI. The doctor report back, it's just an old man's knee. It's actually pretty much what it sounded like doctor said to me about my hips i'm getting to the point where it's sad when doctors are just like yeah you're just uh he goes i've had a doctor who looked at my body and then when like this well you're mid-40s yeah oh what a jerk

uh well that guy's hopefully not on zoc doc but but again it really does it filters specifically for doctors that take your insurance located near you. Treat basically, and again, you can get an appointment quickly. You can also get it same day. That's absolutely right, Jake, if you're lucky. That's right. Gil Buchanan, 1s and 2s, 68 balmy. Don't worry about it. That's right. I've been kept in the closet for a

while on this show, but I'm back for the ads. Good to see you, brother. You would get a fist bump? Literally never left. Wherever the best time in the world, go to ZocDoc.com slash HTH and download the ZocDoc app for free. Did you hear? How much does that cost you? Free! Free! That's right. And then find

and book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C D-O-C dot com slash H-T-H. ZocDoc dot com slash H-T-H. Hi. Hi there. Welcome to We're Here to Help.

You have Jake and Gareth here. Can we start just by getting your name, age, and where you're calling from, please? Yes, of course. My name is Sonia. I am 34, and I'm calling from somewhere between Newcastle and Sydney in Australia. And Sonia, what are you calling about today from Australia? What can we help you with? Look, I've just got these issues with my housemates. Well, actually, the fake housemate, really. It's my housemate's boyfriend.

Okay, so your housemate's boyfriend is maybe in your house too much. Look, that's the succinct way to put it, for sure. Well, give us more details. So why don't you elaborate? How would you put it, Sonia? Yeah, why don't you elaborate on the specifics? That'll help us. Oh, look, I'm just trying to be discreet,

just in case they're listening to this podcast. um there's no way there would be um yeah well don't you don't need to do any names you could think by the way thank you for that compliment to say there's no way they would be that means a lot to us it started off really great you were like i don't want to get caught on this popular show but there's no way they would ever hear this they don't even get this in australia yeah you are utterly free because there's not a chance in God's great earth that anybody's going to hear this for that matter. We don't even record these just so you know. So you live with how many people?

I live with two guys. One of them's Davey. Oh, Davey, cool. Okay, and then who's the other one? Jim. Jim, okay, so you live with Jim and Davey cool okay and then who's the other one Jim Jim okay so you live with Jim and Davey are any of these connected to you besides being friend or roommates or is there anything romantic are you guys just the three of you live in a sitcom together oh yeah totally sitcom like it's

got all the backstories I've worked with both of them I've dated one of them for a bit yeah we've done it all we'll live together at some point. Okay. We're recycling the story, actually. Okay. And then who is the problem? Davey's partner or Jim's partner? Davey.

Davey's partner, Sean. What's the partner's name? His name's Sean. Sean. And what is the problem with Sean? Basically, he's a permanent resident of the household. That's probably the key issue for me. Just, you can't get up.

It doesn't matter what time of day. He is up and awake and alert and just ready for you and just dying to have the most mundane conversation. It's pretty painful in and of itself itself he's just so ever-present he's not you know he has those housemates have partners they kind of float about and they're basically a piece of furniture and yeah so sean's just a pain in the ass he's a right pain in the ass you don't like sean and he's there all the time basically yep and this is a fresh situation i've been living alone for like four years and i'm like all right let's do this you know a 34 year old woman i'm going to do this anyway just to save some money be one of the homeowner people

and here we are and i'm basically living a sleepover every night, I reckon. And it's driving you up a fucking wall. Yeah. Question. Could you ask Davey to ask Sean to pitch in? Because, yes, it's uncomfortable, but if it's a little bit cheaper, it could help a little bit. Does Sean throw any money into the mix?

He does heaps of cooking. So, like, he can get up at, like like seven o'clock and he's cooking butter chicken or some sort of korma or, you know, it's like really strong smelling. It's never just a bit of eggs or bacon or something. It's always something potent. He's always cooking,

you know, so contributes. He's a very domesticated type. Like we've always got toilet paper at the house because the rest of us are hopeless. So that's pretty good. Okay, sure. Did you, you and davey what's your guys's backstory um we used to work

um with each other at a bottle shop i don't know what you call that in the u.s that we used to just sell booze basically that's what that is liquor store liquor store uh i guess yeah and we did better so you guys used to work at a bottle shop. And long story short, is the question on this one, what do you do about Sean? What do I do about Sean? And also, like, Jim's talking about moving out now, which is just... Because of Sean.

And it's all to do with Sean's presence. Oh, wow. Because of Sean. Wow. Yeah. This is the crack I would take at it. Just because it seems like, yeah, maybe Sean provides some benefit, like he gives you food, and then the way you deal with the waste, he's helpful in that department. But outside of that,

it seems like he's just kind of an annoying freeloader. So what I would do is I would have, I would talk to Jim, and if he's at the point where he's thinking of moving out, I would unite the front, and I would both of you talk to Davey and just simply say the level at which Sean is there is too much, and we need to kind of come up with a way for you to be happy with your relationship, but also just not let this guy be there that much. I've got something a little different. I like it. I like spice.

You're like the korma. Yeah, I'm the buttered chicken. Yep. So here's what I would do. Is it Sonia? Am I saying that correctly? Oh, no, that's all right. Sonia.

Sonia. Maybe if you did your Australian accent with saying the name Sonia it would help Jake Sonia that's closer right Sonia 34 near Sydney ok don't settle down here's what I would do say it again

I'm sorry Sonia I couldn't understand you I'm sorry dear one small please I was just at the, I was at the bottle shop for too long. You shouldn't have given him that one. Yeah. Cause anyhow, I was at the bottle shop, but here's what I would do if I was you. Oh no. I'm going to get out of this one. Cause

by the way, your timing to get out of it was perfect. Thanks. So here's what I would do i'm gonna give you some weird advice on this one but there might be something to this you like so davey and shauna together they're so happy he's making his fucking butter chicken fuck off right jim is your go-to so i would say to jim are you in this with me do you want to stay roommates jim's gonna go like of course i do i know you're from the bottle shop i don't know where's he and he's irish i don't know i have what is he confidence is he he's not australian gareth i felt good when it started and i hated the way it was coming out you need to for someone who has always prided themselves on a good gambling game yeah i know you gotta know when to

get out you were doing it wasn't brutal and then then you said you said you got out at the right time. So I know. Double down. Double down. That's the that's the wrong instinct. I thought maybe there's chips on the table. A little better. Don't do it again.

Fair enough. Stop. Now stop. Stopping. Jake. I'm done. OK. No.

Here's what I would do. I would make Sean's life very uncomfortable. Oh, you bet I'd do that. But no, you're doing it at a three. I would turn it to a nine. I would, if he's going to, you know, he's going to cook. Well, right before cook something disgusting and don't clean the pots and pans. And then when he goes, did you cook all this in the pan? Would you clean it? You go, I'm going to after 9 PM, but I wanted to make butter chicken, go to a goddamn restaurant or get your own place.

If he puts toilet paper on the roll, put it in your room. And he goes, did you take my toilet paper? And you go, you don't live here here i would love to deliver your toilet paper to your flat right i'm gonna tell you this pressure makes diamonds except for accents yeah you'll go two good ones and then your third is right it's really yeah i'll tell you i don't have the ear for it no problem or the mouth or the tongue as it's yeah say it again nope don't have the ear for it. No. Or the mouth. Or the mouth or the tongue. Or the articulator. No. Yeah. Say it again?

Nope. Don't do it, Jake. You don't have the articulator for it. As the phone is with me, I don't have the articulation. I'm going to, nope. And does Sean have his own place, Sonia? He has several, actually. He owns his own home.

Oh, for fuck's sake. So this is just. Yeah, partly paid for. He's an investment property. Like he's. Oh, he's wealthy. He's partly paid for. He's an investment property. Oh, he's wealthy. Okay, so I think this strengthens the case that Jake is making. Also, another thing that drives people, I was just telling this story about when a dude moved in next door to me

in an apartment complex, and his job was to make beats, and I moved out of that apartment so fast because I was like, I can't win this. This is over. This guy says that he can't wear headphones because you can't hear beats without not playing it on loudspeakers. And so loud music, being loud,

that is also stuff that'll just drive him out a little bit. And it's a good tactic. And if he has all these other options maybe just push that way at least i would maybe start there yeah you know i you what you gotta do i think we're on the same page here you just gotta smoke him out yep you know every time he's around literally yeah yeah whatever or tell him a long-winded story about your family and then midway through it, go like, I just made all that up. Every day when you first see him in the morning,

go like this. I had a crazy dream last night. And he'll go, oh, yeah? Oh, fuck. He hears all about my dreams. He likes the dreams? Every morning. No, he hates it.

Oh, he does? Great. So every single time you're around him, tell him about your dreams. Tell him how your body's feeling. If you just just went to the bathroom let him know how it went yeah if he's going to the bathroom go like i just destroyed it like 10 minutes ago i would wait so everything about that apartment for him he feels like it's gross it's lame while he's cooking stand next to him with a spoon put it right in the dish and try it.

And if he goes like, what in fuck's name are you doing? You go, oh, I'm in my kitchen. Why don't you go to your kitchen and not let me in? Living room karaoke while intoxicated. Yep. Park his car in. And I'll tell you something that I had a roommate that did that drove me crazy was every conversation was on speakerphone oh it's so annoying i would also eat any food in his fridge

that always drove me nuts yep so the advice we've kind of given you the first one that gareth gave which i think was pretty smart which was talk to the other roommates and say like is there any way you could limit the time that Sean spent spends here? I think that's right. And then if the answer kind of goes sideways, I say, annoy the hell out of them and smoke that rat out of the nest. What do you think you're going to do? Yeah, look, I've tried the emotional intelligence tactics already. The Gareth tactic, there's no, there's no reception for it. I love the idea of being able to be

my worst self and be somewhat strategic and work for me. So I think I'm just going to have to continue destroying the bathroom at timely intervals. And what's great about this one is there's some comedy to it. And while we really want to help

people, we also like to have some laughs along the way. If you want to set up your phone in a place where he doesn't see it, when you're pulling off some of this stuff, and grab a clip or two for us so we can just keep people posted on what you're up to out there, that would be great too. But either way, it's time to fight, as Jake would say, fire with fire. Thanks, Jake. That's not what I would say.

I would say fire with fire. No. Fire. All right. Well, thank you so much for the call. Yeah, thanks for taking it, guys. Yeah, keep us posted, Sonya. Keep us posted.

Yeah, I'll catch up with you in Sydney in November, Gareth. Oh, great. I'll see you there. Yeah, we can go to the... I'll be there too, probably. Yeah, where are we going to meet after for a drink, Jake? The bottle shop. The bottle shop.

That was a HeadGum Podcast.