We're Here to Help - 147: Cooking In Soup & Long Island Lisa (with Michael Cera)

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

The guys are joined by special guest Michael Cera for a special deluxe episode. First, they help a mild-mannered office worker discourage his neighbors from hot tubbing in the nude. Next, they problem-solve a parenting dilemma with a mom whose daughter likes her alter-ego better than her. Last, they help a hopeless romantic with a knack for finding sentimental letters return an intimate love note to its original owner.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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What did you do? I've been working with a great trainer in Rudy Garcia. We've been kicking some ass. I wanted to ask you about the, that's amazing, I wanted to ask you about the Jiu-Jitsu life. Well, Rudy Garcia. What is your update? Well, Rudy was my Jiu-Jitsu trainer. Okay, and have we changed the workouts?

Well, I've stopped doing Jiu-Jitsu because something happened to my right knee and it happened not while I was fighting or sparring, but while I was alive. Non-contact. Non-contact. Which is. Those aren't the worst. And it's been while I was fighting or sparring, but while I was alive. Non-contact. Non-contact. Those aren't the worst. And it's been like six months. So bad you can't even make fun of it.

What happened? So remember when we used, nothing. That's the worst part of it. Remember when we used to make fun, when we would play frizz ball and we would tease you about being an Oldsmobile? I'm an Oldsmobile. It just kinda. Nothing happened.

It just, my knee, something happened. And then when I would like bend down to get up, like if I get out of a car, my right knee freezes like an old man. It's like you can tell when a storm's coming. wish happened was that like some 22 year old punk did it to me and I put up a good fight which is worse is I was laying around man my knee just went like too many years yeah no I'm ending well that's when my mother when my mother had her hip replaced she was like I'm back baby and I was like well your mother's hips have been worked. All right. I just mean she walks all the time. Where were you going with that? It's brutal. She's a big walker. Stop talking for a little bit now. I agree, thank you.

What I was gonna say is, cause you said you were shirtless and you just threw a hoodie on. Yeah. It is funny how like, if we're meeting to do the show. Totally different. It's like such an event.

I'm packing lunches. If we're meeting, you're wearing a weird vest and we're both to do the show. Totally different. It's like such an event. I'm packing luncheons. If we're meeting, you're wearing a weird vest and we're both dressed in doer clothing from head to toe. Or quints. Or quints. If not, we're both in short shorts with weird hoodies. It's the way that we're like, it's, it's, we should, like, it takes two minutes to set up and you're still like, Jesus Christ, I'm going to be late. Yes, but I will say, God damn, do I love a Zoom.

That's great. For somebody who's a homebody who likes to just stay in your routine, this is the greatest technology of the last chunk of years. No, I agree. I even like with my schedule being gone all the time, it's so, it means we can do the show every week or bank every week or whatever. You know, I had a moment during the pandemic when I was doing press for something. It might've been hoops,

but I had to do a full press tour from home. But it was before you and I were doing a podcast. So I did not even think of Zoom yet. If you remember when I did Zoom early on your podcasts, I would, I never planned it. I was the worst guest. I was so bad with technology. Well, it was really bad.

And we were like, okay, let's go with, like you ended up recording it on your phone and in like an echo chamber. But I'm doing Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest, I believe it was the co-host at the time. And it's six in the morning. My kids were staying up late. I think I was doing a Jeff Bain, a poker game the night before.

My hours were all over the place. And I get on the Zoom. I'm in this exact spot, but this room used to be a closet. And as I'm talking about the project with Kelly Ripa, she goes, are you in a closet, Jake? And I realized I was on live television and she could see my wife's dresses that were 15 years old

and she goes like, can I? And then Ryan Seacrest is roasting me. And I had a moment of like, this is a nightmare actually. I hated it. Once you take care of the background, it's better. But that's the thing. Zoom roasting, it's like the background Zoom roast, it's so low

hanging fruit, it's also really enjoyable. I know, but this was 2020, Gareth. I know, no, it was better. Yeah, but it was new. You really could get away with it. Every meeting I used to start on Zoom, by the way, you got a pair of pants hanging behind you. Stop.

I haven't even commented. Stop. You just have pants hanging behind you. I honestly, you should have seen my Jason Bourne identification. I go to the pants as we were talking. Boy, those pants are pretty. Yeah. They just stand out in the future.

But you are right about the Zoom, how little it matters. Because there's no way I would be wearing a hoodie shirtless underneath before wearing these. No way now I would get roasted. Who cares? No, and you're still sweaty because you've been working out with your Rick Garcia trainer. Really?

Be careful. I wouldn't talk trash. I'm pretty tough. Not talking trash. I want to get their name wrong a little bit. You said my mother's hips have been worked. So if I get your trainer's name wrong by three letters, let's just relax. All right.

Should we briefly talk about the podcast or should we just let social media do the talk? Well, you know, Lamar Morris is a filthy liar who wears pajama outfits on his show. It feels like we're gonna talk about it. No, I don't think we need to. He's an utter clown. If me and him were in a battle, he would for sure be Drake and I'd be Kendrick Lamar. It wouldn't even be a question. He's 100% Drake. That's his vibe. He's a... Lamar's a sweet guy. He's a little geek. He's a door. Let's just

Bully's like you and me you got lockers. Thank God. Let's just contextualize it a little bit And that you did his show you talked about how on our show about how the reaction to our podcast on his show was Better than the reaction to even his podcast at his show. Yeah that led him to Absolutely deep fake a video with reactions. We're not idiots. We we know we're talking about footage from Apollo 25 to 30 years ago the heyday but Officially heyday is the best nothing better than when our era of growing up probably the 90s Watching after SNL. I was gonna say when I'd be disappointed in SNL and I'd go like I don't know I mean it was okay. I

Wanted to like it more and then all of a sudden Steve Harvey would come out there every guest would come up They would rub the rock and I'll go the log The log and then the sandman would come out the fact that you were allowed to boo people off stage what a gift that show gave us. It really was amazing and I wonder like what it did to the child like the child that was just like I want to perform like I remember being like holy sh I mean the intimidation factor on bombing at Apollo only to be countered by if someone goes in and kills the dragon, like the snakes then, and kills. So this won't surprise you, but my dream with Bill Bungroth, who I just went to Portland with, he- do you know Billy Bungroth at all?

No. Quick shout out to Portland really fast. He and I, he had prostate cancer and he had it removed, and so he went out, he's like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take like a little trip to celebrate it. I'm gonna go to Portland. And I was like, what if I came up and surprise you? And we just had not really surprised, but just came up and we had like 24 hours together.

We stayed at a hotel called the Woodlark. I'd never been to Portland. I'd never, I didn't know where to go. Oh really? Yeah, I mean, I loved it. Right at the hotel, which we loved, it was one of those places you could kinda hang out in there. And then we just walked around the city.

We went to the Japanese gardens. We went to some Portland outdoor store. It was just everything about it. It's a great city. I was like, man, I have been told Portland's one thing. It's awesome. Portland, like any major city, like, man, I have been told Portland's one thing. It's awesome. Portland, like any major city, has areas that are like, of course, you know, have difficulties.

But overall as a city, it's such a walkable, easy town. But if you go up there and you're doing stand-up, stay at the Woodlark, do the experience, don't get a car, just walk around. I was like, it was fun, man. Well, I would love to do that and I'm glad your buddy's okay. That is, everyone should get checked, your PSI. But this is about our show.

Right, but something happened with Bill and then I tangented. Doesn't matter. This is, this is, this is. Oh, we were talking, yeah, who cares? This is what we do. Well, we were talking about Lamorne. We were talking about Lamorore. We were talking about Lemoore. Being a clown.

Yeah, speaking of clowns, Apollo clowns, you called Lemoore a clown. Yes, exactly. You made fun of how he swims. We talked about maybe having a swim off. Apparently Kyle and I are in a feud of our own. So things are heated, things are bad. And we're coming for you in whatever way that means.

Right, Jay? Yes, but you know what we need to also talk about, and look at us having a long intro. I know. We need to talk about our special guest today. Yes. Who is a guy we both know. He's one of my best buddies who I adore. One of the best humans and one of the funniest guys on planet Earth, Mr. Michael Cera joins

the show. Truly a gem. And you worked with Michael when you wrote for Arrested Development, correct? Loose, like he was in the room for probably a few weeks writing and then I think he just, you know, got into acting mode. But yeah, I mean, you know, very few actors

were allowed in the writer's room and there's a reason for that, but he really is just such a talented guy. Mike's gonna direct a movie soon and I think when he starts directing his whole game is gonna change because even as like an 18 year old he's always seen the whole picture and just such a guy such a talent really funny on the show I think people are gonna really like it. There's one crossover call with all three of us and then you and him do a couple solos. Just a really, it was really an honor having them on. As you've seen, season two, we're

having less guests. Yeah. And it's because at the end of season one with our schedule, Gareth and I weren't together that much and we were doing it with other guests a lot. And we heard the response from the crowd and we also missed doing it just together. a lot, and we heard the response from the crowd, and we also missed doing it just together, so we're going to continue this kind of new way. I've kind of less guests, more us, and every once in a while I'll have a special guest come in and do that.

We love it, and it's why we're America's number one podcast, number one podcast in the world. That's right, the morning after. You know what people could, you know, Lamorne and Abbie, is that even a podcast or is it just he? Thank you. You know what? They're the real Wayne's World. That should be called, you know what,

their show should be called Kyle's World. Oh, gee-jee. And Le Morn's Garth. Le Morn's Garth, dude. Kyle does a great job on that show. He's gotta figure out that mustache. But apart from that, yeah, agreed. But Le Mne? Yeah. He's like a geek. Alright, well I think we've really, I mean. I want to kill him. I'm gonna fist fight Lamarne. Okay, alright, alright, alright, listen, you got a bad knee, you already talked

about it. You got that Doppler knee, why don't you calm down. I want to have like a hike off with him, I want to just expose him for the fraud he is. He's also got water muscles. He's a fake, dude. He takes steroids. Okay. All right. Listen, there's a lot coming out. He has fake facial hair. His little fake mustache. He can't grow facial hair. He's got a weird puberty thing. He's never fully gone through it. Your suggestion is that both hosts on that podcast have to figure out their mustaches. Look, Kyle's is okay. Lamorne's is fake. He literally gets pubes from a weird animal and glues them on his face. He's a joke, dude. Alright, listen, well we're very excited for you guys to do this episode.

He's a eunuch. He doesn't have genitals. Okay, and you know, obviously things are getting heated here. Not to me. You know what? Things are getting honest. We appreciate all the support. Keep telling people that we're back for season two.

He believes in unicorns. This season's great and we're very excited. He hates New Girl fans. Further ado. He also, by the way, Ado. Lamorne will not do the New Girl reunion. This is fact.

We are all on board, including Brian the security guard. Liz, I'm the guy trying to arrange it Kyle We've said let's have him be on the show. He's been in Lamar and said no because you want to know why he's passed He's afraid that Kyle is gonna get too much of a spotlight Dark this is this is dark. This is dark stuff. Well anyway, that was some ado but without further ado enjoy If that was some ado, but without further ado, enjoy the show. Enjoy the show. ["Sexy on with me, Mr. Gareth Reynolds, and our first special guest of season two, Mr. Michael Serra

is on the podcast. Hi, how are you doing? How are you doing? Yeah, so Sam, where are you calling from, bud? Nice to meet you as well. I'm calling from Michigan, a little town called Grand Rapids. Oh, I know Grand Rapids. And I agree, Grand Rapids has some nice kind of size to it and so how old are you Sam? I am 34 34 and

What do you like to do Sam? Well, I do a lot, but I like the outdoors. I'm a little bit of a woodworker I'm a dad How many kids you got? Cool. I'm a dad. Me too. How many kids you got? I have three boys. Oh, fun. What ages? 17, 15, and 8.

Wow, you got the whole spectrum. Wow. And so when you say woodwork, and what kind of woodwork? Do you make little bears and stuff? No. Someone wants it for his yard. Somebody's on a trip. Could you ever make a silverback that weighs about 400 pounds? No, I know someone wants it for his yard

Weighs about 400 pounds you ever make a gorilla bear with my face But definitely his body not mine, okay, we don't Make it you made of wood. How does wood look soft? I actually have a good specimen here that I could base the carving out of right out my window here. Alright, so Sam, we have a picture of you, but you feel like you're jumping into something good, so take over. I have a problem. I work in a professional setting in an office building here in Grand Rapids and just our office building backs up into a residential neighborhood and what would be considered our backyard neighbors. We

have a man and a woman who are just really big fans of using their hot tub. You know, any opportunity that they get, uh, you know, nice day out. Clothing optional situation and, um, they definitely opt out of it. I'm with Garrett. So, uh, and I'm telling you guys, this is right. And you're trying to conduct business. It's right out my window. Okay, so. Yeah. Okay, so you're, where you work,

in the back kind of shared space, there's a couple, can you describe what these two people look like? Cause I do think it matters. Yeah, uh-huh. Slowly. I'm pretty familiar with all of their body parts, which you want me to. So you've seen everything. I do think it matters. Yeah, slowly. I'm pretty familiar with all of their body parts which you want me to... You've seen everything. I've seen it all. Are they in their 20s or are they in their 90s? Are they seven feet tall or five feet tall? Yeah, retired. They're probably 60s, 70s. They're probably five feet something. Okay. It's changing. Everything changed. So kind of a couple in their 70s, not incredibly tall, not incredibly short, which makes it

a little less exciting. They're somewhere in the fives. And they seem to be a couple with one another. Yes. Are they doing things together that make you feel uncomfortable, or are they just straight on nudists who don't have clothes on while they bathe? As far as I can tell, they're just straight on nudists. They don't care who is observing their activities in their backyard.

You have like a high vantage point. You're looking down on them from your office. Yeah, a little bit. They have a privacy fence, but it only goes up to the base of the hot tub. So I can see it all. They're not worried about it, it sounds like I mean no I might be into it honestly are they are they I think you answered this but I just want to make sure there's no there's no hanky panky going on no there's no hanky panky monitor. I'm watching them masturbating constantly with an eye notch on it.

Kind of all the masturbating. I feel creepy because what I think about when these two lovely old people are just taking a hot bath. It's like, keep shouting, do it already. I feel creepy by what I yell at these sweet folk. So you feel creepy, Sam, because in a way by looking out your window your spine That's right, I feel like you're spying because you're allowed to look out your goddamn window I who could look away. Let's be honest. Well, that was gonna be my question Yeah, like you're gonna watch could you not just not look when they go out there. Does that feel I mean

I think that's the down the narrow like yeah But also it's complicated because I understand if I'm at work I like to look out my window and then if I see two people walking naked to a tub I'm gonna look like a creep It's also very it's got to be one of those things where it's like when it's happening You're it's a little train wreck in the sense. Yes. I want to just This is happening. And so say Sam wants to invite a business associate

into his office one day for an important meeting. Yeah. And then everyone's just hypnotized by the flesh. You gotta really plan where you seat people to hear your pitches. Yeah, they're out there about smitting. Yeah. Yeah.

And so how long has this been going on, sir? Oh, I hesitate to say. It's been too long. It's been a- It's no reflection on you, how long it's been going on. It kinda is though, with your response though, it seems like it might be, Sam.

I just have wanted to go on for too long. Yeah. Yeah, it's been about a year. A year, okay, okay. That's not my idea for too long. Yeah. Yeah, it's been about a year. A year, okay, okay. That's not my idea of too long for this kind of situation. I love the- That says more about me, I think. Yeah, but I love the way, Sam,

you've got this kind of peaceful voice and it's very slow. Oh, well, I hesitate to say, this is a really nice part of this call. Um, so we've got, you've been looking for 12 months. Have you done anything up to this point or is this call your first call of action? This is my first call to action. Yeah, it's time to, it's time to do something.

So I got a question Sam because I'm now starting to see what's happening here. I Understand your tone a little bit of being a little bit ashamed. It's taken a year How much do you watch? I mean I Don't linger on it. I But? I try to stay focused. But? But it's right there.

It's right above my monitor. I don't even have to move my neck. All I do is lift my eyes six inches and it's right there. And there is a certain gravitational pull to it. A hundred percent. So you, what percentage of you, now I just need the goddamn real truth, because we'll never be able to pitch you out of this if we're Not living in reality. I know more than 50% of you hates this

But what percentage likes it? Oh Probably 20% gets a kick out of it. Okay, that's fair. That's a fair. That's a big hindrance That's a that's a healthy like 80% It's a problem is yeah Or maybe it's like 60% hates it, 20% like it, 20% neutral. No. No, it's a- You don't have to cook the books on this, Jake. I just wanna know what we're dealing with here.

Sam's a bit of an industry to me. I'm trying to get a sense of old Sam. I should have asked him about the animal in the jungle. I've seen a lot of naked bodies in my life. I used to work in a hospital. And so seeing nakedness is not a foreign concept to me. And so it's not so, but it's the environment that I'm in. It doesn't belong.

And so I'm fine. What are you doing in that office, Sam? At that computer. What are you doing? I run an agency for the elderly And we provide caregivers and it doesn't make sense if you're running out and you're watching two elderly people cooking in soup That is now a nightmare for your job it feels lynching Yes, so you are running an agency to help older people while you're watching two older people

cooking their naked bodies in a hot tub. That's a distraction. You can't get away from it. You can't get away from it. It's everywhere. You're right. You're not wrong. So you are at about 80% this needs to go away, 20% kind of likes it.

Correct. That's right. Why don't you build yourself a wooden window blocker using your skills? Sounds like an infomercial that was such a clean pitch. I feel like I'm watching Laurie Grenier on Shark Tank and she's actually doing the QVC right now. Ladies and gentlemen, we've got the wooden blocker thing. I mean, you couldn't make a little wooden thing that goes just right on top of your computer screen and gives you a sort of... It just blocks your field of vision. I think it just goes right here and it blocks just the very spot.

Oh, I understand what you're saying. Like a bookmark sized piece of wood. That's pretty interesting. That is pretty interesting, actually. To have a very clear sort of like blocker for when they're out there that you kind of eyeball measure so that when they're there you kind of can like build a little bit of a castle wall. You literally just put up. Yeah. And it's a funny message as if it was like an R-rated thing that it gets blurred out. Yeah or just like a cocoon sign or something.

I like that. I like that a lot. So that's an option for sure. I think, and especially as a woodworker, you could make something pretty fun. What is your feeling of a confrontation? So I don't want to be the guy that calls the police on them. They're just trying to live their best lives. No, nobody's saying this. They're allowed to do this, I think. Of course, 100%. But also, if your vibe is police, you don't call this podcast. Yeah. We believe that snitches get stitches.

Yep. Oh, good. All right. Well, so I'm not opposed to a confrontation. Okay. And when we bring that up to you, is the thing that you like face-to-face combat, you want to knock on a door, or do you like a letter? Or do you like sounds?

I'm trying to get a sense of you. I I don't know. Okay. I'm I'm not opposed to face to face. I'm I'm I don't shy away from confrontation But I just feel you have very little ground to stand on I mean well, but here's what they're on their private property I know but here's how it could start is just an idea. A knock on the door with some version of a gift as peace offering and to say, I just need to let you know through my vantage point,

I see you guys naked every day. I'm not the only person. So do these people. I don't wanna make you- Don't you think they know that? Well. Yeah, that would be, I'm not the only person. So do these people I Don't think they know that well, yeah that would be Sam Do you think they know that you know, they're naked and other people around see them naked. I Don't think so, okay, but all right, no, I then I have a great idea Sam. I have a great idea Next time they're in the hot tub unroll you open your window from work and yell, Hey guys, how's the temp? And they go, I can do that. And you go, how's the temp? Is it more than

one at 110 or you're not 105 in that tub? Should be 104. You go, you got to live at about 104. If you're 108, it's going to prune your skin too much. And you go you got to live at about 104 if you're 108 It's gonna prune your skin too much and you go make sure it's about 104. Okay And you can say when they're in the water, yeah when they're in the water It's not visibly apparent that they're naked right? I mean you can say something passive aggressive like but at least you've got those bathing suits on, so that should offer you some protection if it's too hot. But the idea of this is you're planting a seed to them. This little intimate moment of cooking in soup together. It's a three person soup.

I'm here too. I like that. I think that is, let me ask one more question and then I'll float a similar pitch. Where are you seeing them naked the most, Sam? Are you seeing when they're about to get in the tub? Is that when they're the most naked or are you able to see through the water? Are you seeing boobs above the fray? No.

So it's the transition it's the transition times. That's the worst. Yeah. So we could, the climbing, the mounting, we could cater a gift in the, like we could get a couple robes, you know, as a gift to sort of help that walk from a boat to the water. Yes. Or, but I think you're dead right. sort of help that walk from abode to the water. Yes, or, but I think you're dead right. Cause then once they're in the tub, it's not an issue,

is it Sam? Yeah, no. So we can't get them not to enjoy their hot tub because they've lived 70 years on this earth. They deserve it. They deserve it. But you shouldn't walk from your back door to your tub, totally naked naked if you have neighbors to see so here's what I would do especially in Grand Rapids weather That is not that is not like favorable to the human form at that age. What are you referring to?

Get what do you mean? I think the weather is going to be shrinking things and purpling things the veins become more varicose I don't think it's the best look Not raw things and purpling things, the veins become more varicose. I don't think it's the best look. You're not wrong. Sam, here's a thought. If you could get the timing right, as you see them walking to the tub, yell, taking a tub?

Can you open your window, Sam? Is your window gonna have the ability to open up up or is it like a pane glass office? It does not open. It's just a fixed window. All you really have is the bang on the window move. It's hard to come off chill when you're doing that. Or you go up on the roof. Or you Oswald it up on the roof.

Yeah, that's no good. So here's what I would do. I would leave a note at their door. I would not confront them. And the note would say, I see you walk naked to your tub. Don't know if you care or not, but I just wanted to let you know. Do I like cut this out of a magazine letters? Nope, I wouldn't do it like that, Sam.

Nope, not yet. That's scary. But I would do like a sending this just as an FYI and maybe leave like a bottle of wine as like an apology thing. Oh yeah. But when you, but I work in the building over here and I would lie and say, my coworkers and I have discussed and nobody knows if you guys know, but we see you as you, we do not see you in the tub,

but when you walk from your house to the tub naked, we can see your body from our view when you're in the tub soaking, we can't see it. That is an amazing note. That's an amazing thing to say. Some people find it distressing, not me personally. Some people talk about how it gets a little purple and there's their shrinkage. But what I would say is certain times of the year, and the fact that we're in Grand Rapids

might be a problem. But what I would do is I feel like we're using the letter to kind of knock on my pitch a little which I feels very meta. Nope. What I'm really using it for is to let them know that from point A to point B I see you. Yeah. And if that's okay with you then we can figure out the next pitch but we've got to know Sam if grandma and grandpa know they're being seen. We gotta let them know. What do you think Sam?

I like it, you know, and I like the bottle of wine gesture too, because I don't want to... You know, like I think the yelling pitch was like a little aggressive. A little aggressive. I agree. And I don't, like you say, I don't want them to stop enjoying their hot tub. It does not sound... Hey Sam, how would it sound like if you yelled? Yeah.

You taking a tub? Can we just hear that once? You want me to put the phone down and yell it? Yeah. Sure. Alright. Say, taking a tub. ARE YOU TAKING A TUB? I don't hate it.

I love it. I don't hate it. It just came out of his shell. By the way, Sam, you got a hell of a yell, man. Sam, are you in the office now? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Oh my God.

Are they out there? No, they're not. They're not there. Don't you have coworkers in the area? I'm wrapping up solo today. Yeah, that was a hell of a, that was a shockingly exciting yell. yeah but no because of the window. If the window opened I think we could have a conversation. I 100% agree. I like the pitch. What I would add is I would add

maybe going to some cheap department store and just getting a couple robes so we can really add a solution to what we're calling out here. I like the wine, I like the note. Why not just get a blue and a purple robe just for each one? I think that might be step two. Maybe. Purple just feels like an attack on the veins. It feels like it's tough.

It is a shot across the bow at the vein. How are we gonna have a step two? They're not able to communicate. Are we leaving an email or anything like that? No, that's interesting. Well, you just see what the result is. Yeah, the result would be if they keep doing it. It would speak for itself. But it feels like, Jake in this banaka phase,

has he been banacking the whole show, Michael? It's the first I've seen. I have. You have. Obviously not for, so it's more for the taste. The sensation, yeah. Yeah, he's hooked a little. It's like his vape.

I would say, the only reason I would say Robes Up top is because the follow-up there's no back and forth So then it might seem like you're kind of being a little badgery. Hey Sam question for you, bud We're kind of live we're kind of closing in on our pitch and that's either in a letter a wine a bathrobe with either the messaging just so you you know we can see you or FYI, we see you, you know, this is what we see, you can cover up with these if you choose. What zone are you feeling most comfortable with?

Yeah, I like the robes as a backup. If it needs a second message, just a little push in the right direction. But I think if the bottle of wine does not, because then you give them something to enjoy in the hot tub. It's very friendly. Yeah, it's a very friendly gesture. So Sam, what are you going to say in the letter?

Oh, you know this this feels like I don't want it to get too wordy. I feel like you guys got pretty wordy agreed in your nut in your Concept creation there. So I think you know just a simple a we're here and we see you Let's let's cover it up. Nope. I'm gonna push that. Don't love it. I understand that we're going for word economy, but I think we see. I think we were missing words.

We're here is not enough information. We're here period, we see. It's like anonymous. Yeah, that would be a very haunting note. We have your socials. Yeah, so Sam, I think you gotta let them know where here is and what you see and when you see it. Yeah.

I don't think we want them to think you're always seeing them. I agree. Any veiling of information is going to come across as terrifying. We're here. We see you. You should know. It's my nightmare. Yeah.

So you're right. I would definitely start with like, hey, I'm around the area and I, I live, I work right across from your backyard. Right across from where you're at. Yeah. There's no need for vagueness. No, we're not. Sam, do you feel awkward about them knowing it's you? No, no, I don't. And I could even write it in a nice little card. That's what I would do. We have a lot of cards in the office here that we send out and makes one. Yeah, you're right Yeah, but you guys have company cards. I don't think it's bad to put it in a company card. Yep We don't have branded cards

Sam will you try again with a few more words and can we hear how that comes across? And the opening is important, remember. Yeah. Hey, neighbors. Great, great, great, great. I work in your backyard, and I can see over your fence when you guys are enjoying your hot tub. And I would love it if you guys could cover up during the transition to and from the hot tub.

Your neighbor. That's pretty correct. Pretty, a little aggressive for my taste, but that sounds like who Sam is. Same. But maybe that's the Grand Rapids way too, like maybe that's... Sam, is that just you? Is that just Grand Rapids? Because for the three of us, we all went, it's a little harsh. I think what we were saying is that- Here's what I think it is, Gareth.

I think the way he speaks is so mild-mannered that if I read those, I would be reading them more aggressively than I think he's intended him. Is that what you're gonna say? Basically, yeah, because I think what we're saying in the middle there is the idea is more like, just so you, like you're doing them a favor by letting them know you can see them naked. Basically, yeah, because I think what we're saying in the middle there is the idea is more like, just so you, like you're doing them a favor

by letting them know you can see them naked. Yes. Versus, hey. Versus a request. Yes, and the first one is just, yeah, I think this first one, Sam, is what we're kinda pitching, but again, you play your game.

But I think we're pitching is just FYI. I can see you getting to and fro the soup. If they continue, step B is we're just going to send them ropes. They might, but this might be a multi-level thing, but I work across here. I do this. I see. I don't know if you guys know that, but if you do, we can all see you. But I don't see it. I don't see it in the tub.

That's right. So if you want to be, I can't see I don't see it in the tub That's right Can't see through the water Not from a lack of binoculars don't help nothing get helps me see through the actual water Can you drain the water three inches? So what do you think of that Sam? Do you need the hot the hard jets on all the time? Let it settle gang. What do you think of that zone Sam? Yeah no I think that's right that's perfect. Can we hear it one more time then? I know can you be kind of

writing it out as we're hearing it? Oh sure yeah. I like that you can use the word soup. It's important. He didn't say that. You said that. I know. No, I think you said it. Well, I've mentioned it as soup, but he never said he wasn't using soup. It's confusing. What do you guys think about the hot tub? Soup feels impressive. You don't think of hot tub as soup? No, to be quite honest. People's soup. No, it's not human stew. All right, honey, I gotta go take a soup. All right, me and my boys are gonna go stew. Yeah, I got a big day. I'm gonna lay in the soup for about 30 minutes, then I go to bed. Dude, soup. All right, Sam, so let us know when you're ready. We would love to hear this.

And then hopefully you leave it by then either tonight after work or tomorrow morning, maybe? Yep, sounds good. I can do that. Appreciate you. Hey neighbors, I work in the building behind your house and I just wanted to let you know, we can see you transition from your house to the hot tub. And... Pause was strange.

Agreed. But it works Sam, keep going. It works, yeah. We can see you transition from the house to the hot tub and I don't know where to go from here. Just wanted to let you know. Yeah. And I just wanted to...

Just wanted to let you know what's happening from our point of view. In case, you wanted to cover up. In case you wanted to cover up. Great. All right. All the best. Yeah. And then to avoid any awkwardness or embarrassment, I'm leaving you this bottle of wine as a gesture of good faith. Enjoy it. It's a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. What's to your taste? Yep. 2016.

And I think that's kind of it, Sam. How do you feel about that? I Feel good. I feel good about it Yeah, I mean There's there's two potential office buildings that it could be of course Mine and someone else's and so I think it's a 50-50 shot except for the fact that I'm probably one of the only Offices that that's looking right at their backyard. So if they looked out their window, they could probably see exactly. You've already said you're not worried about this.

Yeah, that's okay. You have nothing to hide. Yeah, you're not named. Identify you. If they look and they're looking in the window, wank. And then yell, taking a soup. Taking a soup? Taking a soup really fast. Can we hear it one more time? You said taking a tub. Taking a tub do the yell, taking a soup really fast. Can we hear it one more time? I think you said taking a tub.

Taking a tub. Oh yeah, I thought you said soup. No, no, we've all actually been talking about getting the soup out of here. You know what I mean? I agree with that. So Sam, soup, say whatever you want to say at the end. Soup. And then let's just hear you yell. I do want to hear Sam say taking a soup.

This is they're looking at the note. At a deli. They see you. You wave and yell this. Go ahead when you're ready. All right. Hey, how's it going? Really good. Hey, Sam, thank you for the call. I think we're in a good zone. Follow up. Follow up. Will do.

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Thirty-three. Thirty-three. And what do you like to do? What's like a fun hobby for you? I have a toddler and a seven-month-old, so sitting in silence on my couch watching it And and by toddler, what's a toddler's age? Sorry. Oh, so you got a three-day so you're right in it. We're the same You got your you're on the phone right now with a dear friend of mine 18 years of friendship. Mr. Michael Sarahera is on with you right now, Kate.

Hi! Hello! Hi Kate. Hi. So wait, you're 33. Well, you became a mother by today's standards quite young, didn't you? I did. I had my daughter on my 30th birthday, actually. The actual birthday? Yeah, she came five days late right on my birthday. So I turned 30. Wow, that's foreshadowed. Just taking over your spotlight, huh? Oh, she sure did. So Kate, you got a three-year-old, a seven-month-old, you're from Rhode Island. Really quickly, if you're in the jungle and you're running around and you turn

around and you see an animal, what's the first animal that pops in your head that you're seeing? Panther. Ooh, back to that Panthers. Panther. Okay, now question for you. If you were to have a last meal, what would that last meal be?

You can eat anything you want. It doesn't have to go together. Oh, Jesus. A steak burrito, the one with the french fries in it. Yum. Crazy. Alongside that, probably just a regular, like a plain pizza from Long Island. Okay.

Steak burrito with fries in it, and just a generic old cheese pizza from Long Island. That's a cheese pizza and a ice-cold dr. Pepper You know what? You know what Michael? I do have a sense of Kate by what she likes to eat and what animals she's in The jungle of info there. Yeah, I agree. Okay, great Kate. What what can we help you with today? I'm actually calling about said their old you took my spotlight. Oh So He's really she actually take my spotlight, but she's really into pretend play like and she's really into it So she really like playing store like she has a little cash register. It's like some place or

My husband's my her dad and I be the cash, like the checkout people and she brings us various items around the house in her shopping cart. But to make it more fun, we started playing characters. Lisa and Janice. I'm Lisa, my husband's Janice and they're two like 40 year old women from Long Island. I love this. But the problem is my daughter, she really likes Lisa and Janice a lot more than she likes me and my husband. Naturally, naturally. Yeah. When she gets upset, when she wants something, she'll ask to talk to Lisa instead of me. She won't listen to me, she'll only listen to Lisa. So like in front of, she'll do this like in front of family and friends. So I have to

just start talking in a thick long ion accent and then she'll do whatever I want or she'll stop crying. Oh wow. And it's just, it's so embarrassing and it's really hard to explain to people. Like it's like this grocery store clerk that we play and then show off for Dennis and then we have to it's just it's a nightmare And I need her to like me as much as she likes I get it how to do that yet. This is a very clean pitch I actually 100% get it before we get into it, can we hear Lisa a little bit?

I knew this would happen. Okay, so. Yeah, actually I just wanna only talk to Lisa for the rest of the show. Okay, so Lisa. Can we do something where at times can we ask to talk to Lisa and at times can we talk to Kate.

This is, yes, this is my whole life. All right, let's hear Lisa please. She also, she talks to Lisa about me sometimes, this is my whole life. Let's hear Lisa please. She talks to Lisa about me sometimes, which is not nice. Okay. Darcy, thank you for coming into the store today. What did you pick out? Did you get a new hairbrush?

Oh my God, I love a new hairbrush. You know what I say, the higher the hair, the closer to God. Oh my God, I have a bumper sticker that says that. But you know, Darcy, your mom, she's a great lady. You gotta start liking her. You gotta start treating her better. You gotta stop Lisa's cool. Yeah Understand okay. So now we have a sense of Lisa Mike we have a sense of Kate and the daughter's name is Darcy Yes, I heard that because Lisa said it but you hadn't Kate So you started creating Lisa and your husband decided to be Janice for some reason which I like

and then Darcy now likes Lisa more than Kate Yeah, and she'll listen to Lisa more. So like this morning, she wouldn't clean up her toys. And then she said, let me talk to Lisa. And then Lisa told her to clean up her toys and the entire living room was cleaned in like 10 minutes. Okay, so walk me through how that actually happened. Because I used to do a thing that I still kind of do when my daughters have gotten too old,

where I pretended to be their babysitter, who was named Sarah. And Sarah was... Was a real person. Yes, well, I was Sarah. And I would go like... Was there a real Sarah that you were... No. Oh, it was just a made up...

But Sarah would come in and I'd be like, hey guys, it's me, Sarah. And I would do all terms about like women that was like really annoying for them, where they would be like, we hate you, Sarah. And I'd be like, but that's okay, because I love myself, because I am beautiful, just like you, and you guys don't need lip gloss.

And Sarah was meant to give the messaging that Jake felt, but just to annoy them. So I had the opposite where mine to this day, and even they were like, bring dad back. Where they'll go like, I'll go were like bring dad back where they'll go like i'll go like hey guys and they'll go like we hate you sir we so that's going to be where my pitch starts here kate i think lisa might be a little bit too cool and i think what we have to start doing is Lisa has to start becoming a little bit weirder and

Ruining the vibe with Darcy and then Kate steps in and saves the vibe It's interesting, okay Because I had Mike I disagree completely I completely. I think honestly I have a three-year-old as well and I have a three and a half year old actually. Yours is a three three just three or a three and a half ish? Just three. Just three. I think just three like two months ago. Yeah okay so three strokes get and Jake you'll attest, like three is real challenging territory. The three nagers. My son became, you know, yeah, it's like everything is,

they're really starting to carve their own sense of autonomy and all that, and they have strong feelings about everything. Like, just my son now, he has a real hard time getting out of his pajamas in the morning. He really loves them. And we're like, we got to get you dressed now. You know, we got to go ahead and out the door. Clock's ticking. And he's like, it's very upsetting. We have to like, really negotiate about getting out of the pajama, you know, little things like that. So I'm thinking, if you have a tool in your arsenal, this character of Lisa, that helps you in any way get past challenging moments,

like cleaning up the toys. You know, it's great. I mean, like, Darcy is a smart kid. She knows that, she knows you're her mama, and she knows that Lisa is a character, but she, it's cozy for her, and it also, you found a way to motivate her somehow. I think the only problem in the equation that I could see is the embarrassment

on your end. And I think you just swallow that and you're all good. Just embrace it. Just like, okay, Kate, did you? I got a question. That's my take. Did you call in with the hopes that somebody would say, your problem is not valid. Just swallow it Is that why you called in a podcast that offers help to hear Michael Sarah say? Oh, you know what? Your problem is not a problem. It's a blessing to be humiliated in front of your friends Ask for a fictional character over you. I think I think you know giving a fresh perspective is a valid advice So here's what I think, you know, giving a fresh perspective is valid advice. So here's what I think, Kate. So actually, hold on. We're going to go to you, Kate. You've heard two initial takes. And just like the choose your own adventure, you're going to start driving this a little bit.

My first pitch, and we could also give more pitches, is let's sour Lisa a little bit. Because everybody likes the babysitter until the babysitter gives some rules, right? And we could also give more pitches is let's sour Lisa a little bit. Because everybody likes the babysitter until the babysitter gives some rules, right? Everybody likes the cool person until the cool person says like, hey, you can't do that. Mike's advice is lean into this tool you have of cool Lisa who's getting your child to do everything she wants. And then maybe we could pitch things to you, because you were saying earlier, sometimes it's embarrassing

if in front of people we can maybe pitch things you could say in those moments. So of these two zones, Kate, where are you at? I think I'm going to have to start making Lisa less cool just because she's expanding our Lisa Janice world. She's named our dog Doris and Barney now and our son is named Mary. She's taking over. And they're all part of this grocery store world.

She's creating a fictional world like the fake Seinfeld episode. Correct. But so here's what we need to do, in my opinion. We gotta figure out what she loves about Lisa, and then we gotta figure out little things that you, Kate, know about Darcy that she would not like. Okay. So what is it about Lisa, in your opinion, apart from she's got a great accent, she's got a great vibe?

But what does Lisa do with Darcy that is just fun? She plays grocery store with her. She does like the accent because my husband's family is from long Island. So I think Lisa sounds like her aunt. So she likes that. Um, she likes grocery store. Lisa pretty much just plays with her whenever she wants to play. So the problem is when she plays now, she doesn't want me, Kate, to play with her.

Right. She'll ask, or at least she'll just look at me and say, Lisa. Yeah. And just be like, being a turnip. Right, because Lisa's fun and Kate's got some rules such as eat your veggies and chew a lot and I'm afraid you're gonna choke kind of vibe Yeah, like Kate's looking out for my safety and I'm not interested in that. Kate's aka a drag. I want to get a sense of what Darcy feels like talking to Lisa

Okay, got it. If possible. So you're gonna be Darcy? Michael... You are. No! If possible. So you're gonna be Darcy? Michael. You are. No. Because you said you want to get a sense of Darcy. I want to get a sense.

Oh, I thought you were about to do a Darcy roleplay. Do you mind trying to be... Which I was excited about. Would you consider being Darcy so I could see it? I don't know enough about her yet. She's three. I know. Pretty much that.

She's got a younger sibling. She likes Lisa. That's all I know. Yeah. Will you try to be Darcy? Me? Yeah, please. Okay, what...

Before any interpretation. What is my goal in this scene? To... Figure out what you like or don't like about your mom. Okay. Figure out what you like or don't like about your mom Anything you want to tell Michael about Baby Darcy that could help him in this remember our goal of this any help would be appreciated We're trying to get Lisa's light to dim a little bit and Kate's light to turn up a little bit. Darcy likes, she likes makeup a lot.

Princesses, Captain America, she really likes Captain America. She likes to dance and sing. And she likes to swim. Okay. I think we're ready to... She doesn't like cleaning up her toys. She doesn't like to clean up her toys. And I got a question for you, Kate, not Lisa.

Okay. Ever since the new baby was born seven months ago, have you gotten a little bit more strict with her, given her more responsibility? Not really. Okay. She's been shockingly good with him. Okay. So we haven't really had to do that yet and I'm just kind of

writing that out, hoping that sticks. Okay. So the vibe's pretty easy going. Darcy's life hasn't changed that much since what's her little brother's name? Archie. Archie, Archie and Darcy. And when Darcy mostly talks to Lisa, is it mostly just transactional? Like I remember when my kids were three it

was just a lot of how much for this and they would go like four hot four and then you go okay and then they they go back and they get something else and then you do the joke if you go like I didn't order this coffee it tastes terrible and then they go back and they get you another one. It started out that way. It started out transactional and now she's you know expanding it to Lisa let's do this like we're not just in the grocery store anymore we're coloring so she fucking took Lisa out of the store and into her life all right so let's get into it a little bit Michael do you have a pretty good feeling of how you can start with Darcy? No. Okay I think that's good enough to start. And Lisa, do you feel confident?

I am always confident. Okay, so we're going to start with, I'm Kate and I'm just saying, oh yeah, you wanted to hang out with- You're Kate? I'm Kate. Michael, Kate and Lisa are- So you're Kate, I'm Lisa. I'm Kate, she's Lisa, you're Darcy. Okay, how you doing Darcy? You want to play Supermarket? I love playing Supermarket, mommy. Okay, do you want to play with me?

No, I'd rather play with you. As you know, I really prefer Lisa, so I want to play with Lisa. I'd love to play with you. Don't you want to just play you and me? No, I want Lisa or else I'm going to make your life hell. Alright, take it easy. Darcy. I want Lisa or else I'm gonna make your life hell. All right, take it easy. Dossie. Okay, there we go, now we're talking. Hi, hi Dossie.

Lisa, hi, thank you for showing up. I was just having the worst, you know, I was just stuck in that same old bullshit with my mom, but thank God you're here. I'm doing her inner, I'm doing her inner spirit. I can't like talk like a fool. Try what Lisa? I'm so glad you came into the store but you can't talk like that about your mother. She is wonderful. I talked to her a few times. You don't know her

like I know her but no she's cool but I just let's just put it this way I prefer you. The other day we had the best dance party to Defying Gravity. Oh my gosh she is such a good dancer. She taught me a lot of good moves She never shows me that side of her but I like our talks. I feel like I can be really real with you and be myself That's so weird. It's been weird between me and her Yeah, see she says she talks about me behind my back but like I don't know Duffy you're acting really different today. Yeah, I don't know. Duffy, you're acting really different today. Yeah, I got to say.

Hold on. I got to say that was a weird read on Darcy. I can't. I forget what I'm supposed to do. Not question. Kate's mothering. Can you do Darcy for a little bit? Yes. So now, in hearing this Kate, I now do have a clear pitch.

Okay, great. And I have a clear idea for you. And I know you've already started it, but I think what we need to do is we need to up talk Kate and then have Lisa and Kate hanging out with Darcy at the same time. And you got to go a little Eddie Murphy in early movies where you're all characters. Okay. So I'm going to be- Do I need the room during character changes?

No. No. Okay. Great. You sell it by your voice and your facial expressions. So that Darcy can be sitting there and going, Hey mom, can I get some, can I get you drawing with me and Lisa? And then you go from mom to Lisa, and you let little Darcy's imagination do whatever she wants with that. But you are both, but Kate is part of

the goddamn fun of Lisa. And it's your job to get me there and I'm going to play baby Darcy. Okay, and am I doing both? Yes, you are finding a way to do both. And Michael, if you can find your way into this somehow, to do both and Michael if you can find your way into this somehow see what happens. Janice? What's that? Wait what is the? Janice is Lisa's friend and Janice is going through a divorce with her ex husband Gary. Gary. Okay so we now have a plan and Kate this is actually my pitch to you So this is you've heard the show before right? Yes, this is the point where you're now practicing to see if it works Okay, so i'm Kate and Lisa playing but you're going to initiate the change that you're both and if you think my darcy's wrong

I'm not against getting a note Great, and if you think my Darcy's wrong I'm not against getting a note. Great. And if you think Mike's Janice is weird give him a note. Okay. In three, two, one, we take you to the supermarket. Hey Lisa. Hey Darcy, welcome to the supermarket. How are you doing today? Yeah, I'm pretty good. Want to do some drawing? Wait, wait. Oh my God.

Who's that? Kate, Kate. Hello. Come in. Hey, Lisa. How are you today? Supermarket's looking great. Extra clean.

Hey, Darcy. Who's that? Darcy. Hi, it's me, Mom. I want to be with Lisa. Darcy, you can't talk to your mother like that. I'm not going to be with you. I'm going to be with you.

I'm going to be with you. I'm going to be with you. I'm going to be with you. I'm going to be with you. I'm going to be with you. Hey, Darcy. Who's that? Darcy, hi, it's me, Mom. I want to be with Lisa. Darcy, you can't talk to your mother like that. I invited Kate here. Oh my god, I love her so much. Kate, you look gorgeous today. I really love what you did with your hair. Is that another messy bun?

Thank you, Lisa. Yes. Yes, it is. You know, it's been working for me. Darcy, do you want to play Super Mario with me? I thought we could buy some new nail polish. Mike what do you think? I think Darcy was kind of preserved and confused and not really didn't sound like she was really playing in a state of play. I gotta tell you kid I

think you took the direction perfectly felt weird I Got lost in it a little bit too. Oh, yeah Yeah, I think that's a good direction for Kate for sure I think you and I are having a hard time finding our With Darcy, but I think Kate is in the pocket and that's kind of what matters I agree, but here's what I kind of felt on that one, Kate, and I think here's how we could win. I don't think Lisa should ever scold Darcy for not loving Kate.

I think Kate, I have an idea. Let's try this. Start the pitch and we're talking. Mike, you can be Darcy this time if you want. And then- All right, I'll take another crack at Darcy. Yeah, because I missed two. And then let's start with you, Kate, as Lisa, and then introduced Kate. But when Kate comes, present Darcy with a cookie or something that was like in your purse. So we're

not doing the you can't talk to your mother like that. There's no negative. Kate is just as much fun as Lisa and Kate comes with gifts that Darcy would like. Okay, great. Let's just try it. We're going to go to the supermarket in three, two, one. Darcy, thanks for coming in today. Hi, Lise. Hey, Doss, how you doing?

Oh my God, are you buying some new nail polish? Gorgeous. Yeah, I ran out. Hey, guys. Hey, Dars. Dars, I was just in the back and I found all these lollipops. They have extra cotton candy ones if you want one. What are you doing here?

What are you doing here? I can stop into the grocery store Oh Dossie I invited her I knew that she we had all these lollipops and she was talking about how she needed You know one nobody This is a winning formula. Am I just supposed to take to it right away? Okay, sorry. By the way, I will tell you, Kate, I think you did excellent. When you brought lollipops and there was no negativity, I think I'm seeing Darcy go, of course I want a lollipop.

Then you can go right back to Lisa, but then Kate slowly has fun things to add too. When you're hearing this as an idea, Kate, what are you thinking? I actually really like this a lot. I think that I can pull this off. I think you can too. And I think if you, I would have three things, lollipops and then two other stuff, that every time Kate talks early on,

she's giving away shit. Okay, so I'm kind of Pavloving her with treats. 100%. The Kate voice means sweets. But the Lisa voice is not negative. But she doesn't have treats. But she doesn't have treats. Her treat is that weird accent she does. Can we try one more time with Michael, you as Darcy?

And let's think about the Darcy character for a second. She's not mad at Kate, Michael. Okay. No, they don't have a second. She's not mad at Kate, Michael. Well, okay. No, they don't have a daughter. She just doesn't prefer Kate. She likes Kate. She just loves Lisa. You take Darcy, Jake, then.

Okay. Then will you start as Janice and can we start- I never really got to be Janice, so I'd like to take another crack at Janice. Can we start with Janice and Lisa? And then I'll come in as Darcy? Janice and Lisa. They're in the restaurant at the beginning and I'll walk in. Yes.

Okay. In the grocery store. Say it again, Kate. Kate comes in too. Kate comes in after. Kate comes in when Lisa's ready. Kate comes in too, Kate comes in after. Yeah, Kate comes in when Lisa's ready. Kate comes in with, yeah, okay. Kate knows what to do with Lisa. Kate, do you feel confident with what you,

because you're the only one working right now, but if this pitch works, we're getting off after this one. We've won and we're going to try this with Darcy. Yeah, I think I got it. Okay. I think I got it. So we're going to go to the supermarket with Janice and Lisa and Darcy's right outside It's probably raining. She's walking in in three

two one So Gary is reading my you can read my emails Um, you know what? I'm so fucking he's disgusting He's I'm so glad you're leaving him. I can't I can't believe I mean, how can I ever we can know there's no trusting? He is a horrible person Janice Hi, I never realized it was Darcy hey hi

Wow, you're a cypher Soros. Oh my god. You are so wet. Is it was it raining outside? Yeah raining and They know Yeah raining and then I brought some lollipops I have this live because it was raining I have these lollipops from the grocery store oh my god Kate you brought Darcy lollipops Kate's always thinking about Darcy he always talks about her She always talks about her. She always talks about guys. I mean, when you look at her, Darcy, I also I want to bake some cookies later if you want to you want to do some cookies with me after we leave the grocery store. If you're interested in that. With Lisa. Lisa. Lisa, can you bake cookies with us? Oh, you know what? Well, I have to I gotta keep Lisa here I go out. No guys guys. Hold on Hold on. I

Think we can never get negative. Why can't she have Lisa and Kate? But the whole idea was to get this Lisa how we're getting there Michael It's a slow burn. Okay, but that first cookies, of course Lisa could come but then slowly. Oh Kate is more interesting Okay, you guys are in did that make sense Kate Jake don't get upset because the instructions are so unclear We're trying hard Here's what I think Kate here. Here's my official pitch. And thank you guys for both doing those demonstrations, because this is, I gotta tell you, Kate, this isn't an easy one.

But I do think we've cracked something that I do believe is gonna work. Here's my real pitch to you, all bits aside. I think Lisa introduces Kate to Darcy, and then I think you do the Eddie Murphy, where you are both characters, but Lisa never tells Darcy, if Darcy and then I think you do the Eddie Murphy where you are both characters but Lisa never tells Darcy if Darcy says just Lisa Lisa never goes like well Kate's a wonderful person never negative then okay just Lisa for now and then you reintroduce Kate again later Kate always has things dribbles and that every time she goes I want to make cookies, Kate's making them, can Lisa come?

Of course she can come. But Kate's also part of the fun. So Lisa's obsessed with Kate. Yes, Lisa just likes Kate, but also Lisa's obsessed with Darcy. Right. Got it. What do you think of that as a pitch, Kate?

I like this a lot better, because I, yes, I like this a lot better than just like going cold turkey on Lisa or leaning into Lisa. Because now Kate can be involved. Yep. And maybe we can incite it. Or Lisa gets weeded out a little bit. Look, I think it's really weird stuff, but I truly believe it's going to work.

No, I agree. It's a very, it's a weird problem that I have, but I, it's a weird world that I've got myself into, but I, I agree. It's a very it's a weird problem that I have but I It's a weird world that I've gotten myself into but I I like that. I can you do me a big favor for the show? And the next time you do this, can you record the audio on your phone? So that you Introducing Kate into the mix and we get to hear the real Darcy. Now you don't have to do a video because a video might make you know change the vibe but if you just do like a voice note on your phone just like you know leave it open. Okay. So now that we've talked about it a lot we can play right at the end of

this how it really goes. Okay, yeah. And that's not the official follow-up, we can do a follow-up later, but that would be really nice to have to tag right onto this because I'm sure you could play, you could play this with her later today. I guarantee you as soon as I'm out of my bedroom, she'll ask for feedback.

Yes, so maybe first chance while it's hot, let's play the game, You see how it goes. Everything we just practiced. Put it into motion and let's see what happens. Send that to us and then we'll do a real follow up in a few weeks. Okay, that sounds good. Kate, good luck.

I think you're in really good hands. Good luck, Kate, good luck. All right, thank you guys. Thanks, bud. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. But you share a phone. I can share your mommy's pen with her? Yeah.

Oh that's nice, she'll let me use it? Yeah. Yeah Lisa, you can use my pen. And Darcy, I brought you this lollipop. Aww. That was so nice of you mommy. Thanks Lisa. Can I color with you guys?

Yeah. Oh awesome. I'm so excited for you to color with us, mom. What do you think, Doss? You excited that she's going to color with you guys? Yeah. Oh awesome! I'm so excited for you to color with us, mom. What do you think, Gus? You excited that she's gonna color with us? Yeah. Awesome. I'm gonna use blue. Thanks for giving me my lo with you. Welcome, Mommy. Yay! Thank you, Mommy. You're welcome. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Booking.com.

Booking. Yeah. Every time I travel, I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the US Because it is easy and it works. I just booked a place in Portland, Oregon I went to the woodlark hotel, which I really liked I went to San Francisco with the family and I use booking.com There's a ton of options. You can do hotels vacation rentals It really just makes it so easy to figure out what you're gonna get within your price range, whatever you're looking for.

I right now am staying inside of a booking.com location. I was coming to Eureka, California, went right on there like two days before, and I wasn't even stressing when I was booking it because I was like, I know that they're going to have what I'm after But it's also good for vacations. You just you find the best spots They really take the stress out of booking a place find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com Booking. Yeah

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Code here to help. Hello. Hello. Hey, how are you today? Good, how are you? to help. I don't know who is it. I've known for 20 years. Yeah, just about. Just about. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Michael Cera has joined the podcast. Thank you.

Hi. You're a lucky lady. This guy is sharp as a tack. I'll say. Okay. Don't put so much pressure on Kylie to react. Hey, Kylie, can we get a... Thank you you my call can we get a big reaction Kylie? Yeah? I mean you're doing this big setup, and she's like oh my

I apologize Kylie I'm gonna keep putting you in that position Kylie. I'm excited. Let's get on the car. I'm ready Hey, let's not say let's get on to Kylie take it easy I'm excited. Let's get on to Kylie. I'm ready. Hey, let's not say let's get on to Kylie. Take it easy I mean Kylie, where are you calling from today? I am calling from st. Louis st. Louis Great City, great City Museum. Yeah, and You should know this Michael is in a hotel in London and just ordered himself a delicious cocktail Yeah, it's not London though. The thing is it's not London at all.

It's an hour outside of London. Oh wow. It's actually, I'm actually in Watford. Yeah. Lovely place right here. You know, I, it's nice, Watford. I think I've kind of maxed out on everything it has to offer. So well enough about Watford. Let's get back to Kylie.

Yeah, it has a lot to recommend. Let's get back to Kylie. This is so awkward all day. We make this all about Watford. So Kylie from St. Louis, how old are you roughly? I just turned 30. 30? And you got a favorite animal in the animal kingdom? Yeah, I think I really like a panther. I think they're really pretty. That's pretty cool. Mike,

you got any questions for Kylie so we can get to know her a little bit more? She likes a panther. She's 30. She's from St. Louis. Yeah. I mean a panther. Yeah, I mean the animal question kind of feels, I mean, I don't feel like I know her better at all from that answer, to be honest. I feel like that's like, there's a question for sort of a 40 year old. Like when I ask you sort of, I don't know, what did you did you did you study? Did you go to school? Did you go to any post high school?

Did you go to university or college? Is this a bad first date, Michael? I did. It is. Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, I mean, I think it's a good question. Did you go to university or college? Is this a bad first date, Michael? I did, Michael. It is, yeah, it is. What did you study, Kylie? Just give us a sense of what you spent years of your life studying.

So I went to this university in the middle of nowhere, Missouri, and I studied art history. That's cool. That's exciting. That's great. That's interesting. Very rich. Okay, so Kylie, Kylie art history likes a panther now. I feel embarrassed that I always ask about the animal I feel like a four-year-old in a forty six year old man's body Very interesting, but Kylie it's not about me. It's about you. What can we do for you today? What's the issue?

Okay, so my question. So I have like a talent for finding things that people left in books like at like antique stores. Like I found probably like six or seven things over the years and my most recent treasure has put me in a little bit of a pickle. So I met up with this woman that I talked to on Facebook Marketplace, and it looked like she was getting rid of a lot of her old undergrad textbooks. And so I went, I picked them up. As I'm putting them in their corresponding bookshelves, what do you know, a postcard

falls out. And it lands message side down. And so all I see is what looks like an kind of like an abstract painting of a sunset and then two little stick figures holding hands in the bottom I then flip it over and what I see is a message that was never meant for anyone to read let alone myself very intimate too intimate and Now I'm like do I Well, hold on Kylie Kylie Kylie Kylie Kylie, before we get to what the question is, what does that mean?

Very intimate, too intimate. Yeah, are you willing to reveal the contents of the note or? You can't call in. Yeah, you've got to. I mean, can you say the screen grab of it as well? It's all remaining. Oh, it's right there. So this was the postcard that you found in a book, is that correct, Kylie?

Correct, correct. Okay, okay. I haven't read it all yet, but I have to say it's kind of sweet. So here we go. Well, first of all, there's a pair of lips over in the corner that says moi. I guess that's like a kissing sound. It says, Aloha my sexy lady. So I guess I'm thinking someone who sound. It says, aloha my sexy lady. So I guess I'm thinking someone who lives in Hawaii

maybe wrote it. I want to thank you for the last months with you. And then they started to write something and thought better of it and scribbled it out. Said, I enjoyed each moment being with you. I just have to comment on the scrawl. It's kind of a strange kind of writing it is Like a young person yeah, it feels like a teenager or older person with bad handwriting

I mean mine is not much better. I don't have great handwriting No, I don't either so I enjoyed each moment being with you the hot sex the vivid weed induced orgasms the laughter people people watching spying on turtles, your touch, your sleepy face, our deep discussions, road trips, hikes, spontaneous anything, and much more. It's been an amazing ride, and I look forward to the next adventures, despite this looming month. Sorry, despite. That's what it says, right? Yes, that's correct. So I guess they're spending a month apart

Despite this looming month. I'm excited to have you by my side again soon. I'm going to miss you. It's very sweet It's sweet. It's very very sweet. It's a love note. It's a it's a they had a great little romance They had some hot sex. Yeah, they got stoned had some orgasms and it looks like they both did which is positive They laughed that people watch they spied on turtles. So Kylie you see this guy loves her God loves her and it seems like she loves him Yeah, if it is a him it could be a woman and I or would and I is nothing that there's something Hawaii based because of Aloha Or just a cool kind of Keanu vibe Maybe they were in Hawaii. Yeah, you said there was a sunset on the other side. So

Hawaii, you know kind of a Hawaiian postcard vibe. Yeah. Yeah, so Kylie you find this Is there anything we're missing or is this all you found at this point of the story? This is also I should practice on the other side the initials I know that it's the woman who I picked the book up from because it has like her she wrote me Oh, I understand she wrote it. No, no or no. No, it's to her She's yeah, and it was like obviously like less on the bedside like it was never mailed. So it was left But I know no other information about her. Her Facebook is private. I don't know if she's still married.

You know she smokes weed. Yeah, but this is, Kylie, I hear what you're saying on this. This is getting interesting. So Kylie, will you ask the question you're going to ask? Because now I feel like I'm getting a sense of where you're at here. Okay, so looking at the postcard, it is obviously old because it's a little yellowed. So my question is, like, do I insert myself kind of into this woman's personal life by reaching back out to her and telling her,

hi, I read this, I was never supposed to, do you want it back? Maybe embarrass her. I don't really know because I wouldn't really want random people to read this. Or do I just keep it to myself which like no harm no foul except for yes harm yes I would know. But by the way yes harm yes foul because you also have her postcard. Yeah. Yeah. It's not mine. This is a good question. I have an immediate take on it. I have an

immediate take that's very clear to me. Please. But it might not be for everybody. You might really not agree Jake but from from from where I'm standing, I think, first of all, let me ask you, you had like a brief interaction with her, right? No, so here's the thing. I only talked to her over the messenger. Oh, did you not even? No.

And then like 10 minutes before, she emails me. And she's like, oh my god, I don't feel well. I want to put them on my porch. Ooh. You know what? Well, then you're just in the text realm with her, right? So far. Which is perfect. I think you could text her. Yeah, it's so impersonal.

It's so she didn't even have to ever see your face or face you as a human being, but you could offer, I think. So, I mean in a way that where she's like, what does she even care, you know? But like I think if I were you I would offer I, I would say, hey, there was a postcard in one of these books. It's clearly sort of from your past and written to you. And I wonder if, for nostalgic reasons, if you want a blast from the past, potentially, or maybe if it's meaningful to you,

if you'd like it back and put the ball in her court. Because I think if it were me, if I find something or see something I haven't thought about in a long time, or reminds me of a person or a love or something, it's so nice to see it. I mean, I don't know. Exactly. So, I mean, why not? I'm going to actually a hundred percent be in agreement with Mike. I think we have a very clean way with a messenger and a text message. Text and messenger is basically the same thing.

Are you on board with that? And the only reason I say it's the same thing because I know I don't know and I'm guessing Mike doesn't know. Mike, do you still have a flip phone, my friend? It's text on a screen. Yeah. So I know you and I are in the same galaxy here, but Kylie, I got a question for you now.

Because I think we're going to bullshit around, but where we're going to get to is, we think you should message her a version of you have it. Is that a world you want to go? If so, we could help you write it now and you could send it while you're with us. Oh, yeah. Because I agree with Michael. Like I am kind of a romantic person.

If I love these little tokens of like a long-lost love or something or just So much love to who knows maybe it's like her husband and maybe that was like the beginning of their marriage No Kylie are you into the three of us right now crafting a message and sending it when we're done with it? Oh Absolutely. Yeah. Okay, great. And before we get into that, you told us earlier in the call you have been known for finding things in junk shops and thrift shops. Well, I too am a junk shop guy. I've got a big part of my life.

My mother owned them when I was growing up. Can you give us a little taste of the fun stuff you found over the years? Yeah, I think my favorite, there's this champagne bar slash library in Asheville, North Carolina. And it's full of just like 100 year old books and you can just drink champagne.

And I found this book on Abraham Lincoln and I opened it up and it was written in 1904 and sprinkles throughout were valentines written by this girl named Ruby in 1904 in Ohio. So great. Then you flip a few pages over there's like a hall pass. There's no like she really it was like she kept this book as like her journal. That is so cool. Yeah and then another time I found a Chris Pundo and a little picture book. Oh wow By the way less romantic and cool more a little greedy and thank you cool Yes, I like the first one there was this beautiful thing it was at all the other ones

I stole a hundred books from somebody owned a bookstore It was a good thing. It feels good to get a hundred bucks. How many times in your life do you find a hundred bucks? Never. That's how my father used to give me gifts as a child. What, just a hundred? We would see him, you know, we weren't seeing him often in those days.

We'd go to his little condo. And he would hide a hundred dollar bill around his condo. And we'd have to run around to find it when we found it. You'd go. Hey happy birthday Well, thanks for like 20 to 30 minutes where you knew it was coming but you couldn't leave you found it Kylie back to you. Are you excited about writing this message together? I Honestly am I feel like I'm a part of something bigger than myself right now. Now we're talking. Can you... Let me brace you though, Kylie. Let me brace you for a potential disappointment because it's very possible that she's not like romantic and wants nothing to do

with you. I agree. Why are we looking into the future? No, no. I just want her to be braced because I could see myself getting kind of all swept up and then it do we know? No, no, I just want her to be braced because I could see myself getting kind of all swept up and then it comes back like, no, no, thank you. Agreed. Yeah, no, just recycle it. Yeah, but we'll see. Yeah. We'll see.

In which case it's yours. Or this is the beginning of a great story, right? Yeah. Natalie, do you mind or Jesse, do you mind putting the image of the letter in front of us as we're penning this to see if there's any inspiration there? Kylie, do you have the ability to start typing as we talk and making revisions? Because then at the end of this, I'd love you to read out loud what we all have. Yeah, let me put you on speaker.

Hold on. Thanks. I think starting it with an address of Aloha. Same. No, you can't. Of course you can. No, I think it would end up feeling... Aloha my friend, comma.

I think on the back end then when the woman gets the thing and she'd be like, oh, it's Aloha and she said Aloha. It would feel almost like a jab. Or if this is an old love letter, it would feel like a laugh, like, because you have read it. I'm against the love letter it would feel like a laugh like because you have read it. I'm against the love letter. Mike's a no, I'm a yes. Where do you stand? Do you want to start with aloha? My friend or no?

I do not want to start with aloha. I think it's an instant alienation. Then let me pitch one other thing really fast. How about lips with a mwah? N-W-O-H. Do you like that or no? I like that. It's going to take a lot of time to write the letter if you keep suggesting things that are impossible to include. We have to vote against you every time. It's gonna take an hour. Well, Kylie, what do you think? So I'm a yes, Mike's a no. Where do you live on something like this?

To Moire? Yes. I think I'm no to Moire. Okay, I'll stop pitching this stuff. My image of this letter was a little different, but I will go to the group consensus now. So really fast before we start. What do we all think the mission of this letter is and what are we looking to accomplish? I want to let her know in good faith that I, if she wants this, I have it.

I will deliver it back to her if she never wants to see it again block me I don't know yeah I like that so simple it's a simple mission without any string without any agenda of it so we are offering the opportunity for you to hand deliver this letter and if she doesn't want it and she doesn't respond that means she doesn't care. Yes. Right. And I keep it on my fridge.

Alright, Michael, do you want to start a version of the letter and just kind of dictate in it? Do you feel comfortable? You have a read on it or no? Yeah, I do. I found, well just say, just say, just say, I found a postcard in one of the books. Quick question. Hold on, hold on, Kylie, Kylie.

Yeah, yeah. Let me just ask you, because you're calling in, right? Yeah. Do you wanna have a little bit of fun with the tone of this or no? It is totally up to you. We are on your team.

But we can do a very straightforward, I found a postcard in yours, it feels personal by nature. Would you like me to drop it off? All the best, Kylie. It feels personal by nature. Would you like me to drop it off all the best Kylie? That's an easy letter There's another one that just you know at the beginning of every like Goonies type movie You might be this might be the beginning of a great love story a great adventure. Who knows?

So maybe there's a world where we splash a little fun What do you think, Michael? My feeling is the fun is fun. Fun is fun, but the fun would be strictly for our enjoyment, not anything to do with Kylie and the women. And what do you think, Kylie? It's only to enhance your show. You're the only person actually who benefits from us making it non-syllable. Us making it flowery.

You know what, Michael? Mr. Know-it-all? Why don't we ask our third friend on this call, Kylie? Kylie, what do you think? What do you think? What do you want? You called us. We didn't call you. How do you want this letter to go? Well, first, I do want to say I really like the different tones that I'm getting from both of you. And I think it's really enriching my experience

to have kind of like a devil and an angel. I think that's correct. And thank you for saying that. I think it's clear who's who. I think it's like I've become sort of like Kylie's pseudo advocate here a little bit. Projected. I feel like, Gina, I have that sense.

That's just my feeling. Oh, you little gas lighter. I don't know. No, I feel like you and I have that little rapport, Kylie, and that I am the one trying to advocate for you as Michael sways you into a vanilla flavored ice cream that you don't want. I think we can all have reports. If you're my devil and angel, aren't you on my folder? So Kylie, let's do something. You kind of know where Mike's saying in his ear and you kind of know what I'm saying in your ear.

Why don't you start typing out the letter and just say it out loud? That's a good idea. I think Kylie can do it. You know what we, I obviously want Aloha and moi. I obviously want something in there. I love that you had some hot sex and some vivid orgasms. I would definitely bring up your sleepy face he misses and a little thing here and there in the letter.

And Mike would make it two to three lines of very serious with a all the best. So Kylie- Because your suggestions are such an invasion. Like Kylie does it, the whole reason she even had a problem in the first place that she wanted to bring to us was she felt this is, you know, not her place to insert herself into this woman's, you know, private situation. And then you're telling her to flaunt all of the all of the phrasing that she's being delicate about in the woman's face. Or the woman left it in the book on purpose. And she just loved this letter she got and she sent it to somebody who's the kind of

person who collects old things and loves his story. And she was basically saying, this was 25 years ago, an old love. I want you to experience the laughs that I had when I first got this. So this would be your version Jake Hey, I found the letter that you planted for me and game on the game is afoot I'm biting I'm willing to come there and have some weed induced laughs with you and learn a little more about your past Aloha So Kylie I mean, it's good for you and goodbye. I like that version.

So, Kylie, Kylie, will you just start the letter and let us listen for a little bit and kind of run it and then if you're open to it, we might interject a little bit with thoughts, but let's see what you come up with. Okay. Thanks. I want to hear Kylie's style. Same. So I'm going with something like, I started very straightforward as per Michael. Just your own Adam.

I found a book card in one of the books I got from you. If you don't want this, let me know. And then I kind of just made myself a little vulnerable. Okay. And I said, I'm kind of a romantic. So I collect and keep any token from friends loved ones And this is something that I keep if it was sent to me if you want it Let me know I'll be glad to swing by after work and put it in your mailbox

Now, what did you write all that? I mean we writing that like it's all written already We you wrote it while we were talking or when did you write this whole thing out? Yeah. Well, no, to be honest, I have one and a half sentences and then the rest. It's very eloquent. Now you nailed it. Thank you. Kyla, can I pitch something at the beginning though? Please. So you just mentioned the postcard and then you're talking about the as a romantic you would save things like this but you're not given any of the specific fun of the

card I think it's very funny that they have comma spying on turtles comma and you are in fact spying on their relationship is there anything in there I found the postcard that somebody must have written you about your time spying on turtles and the like? And want to know if you want this back? Myself, I'm a romantic. Just a little... A little heat on this. Just a little heat on this. That's a really good idea. Can we hear from Kylie first, Michael? Can we hear from Kylie first?

No, of course. My apologies. You already know where I'm sticking. Yeah, I know you hate it. I can tell by the way you're looking at me. But I'd love to hear from Kylie, please. Kylie, what do you think about a little heat about the turtles? You're really stuck on the turtles, and I'll play ball. I agree, Kylie. You do?

I agree that he's stuck a little, but it's very... I think Kylie's a great sport about it. I didn't say the hot sex, right? I mean, same people watching going from that to smiling on turtles. What a love letter. The vivid orgasm. By the way, to describe orgasms as vivid, we deduced vivid orgasms. I mean, none of these fuzzy, ambiguous orgasms that you normally get that I lived

through. These were very real. By the way, I don't think I've ever had a vivid orgasm. I've only had fuzzy ones. Your sleepy face was really gross to me. I agree. It is. It's gross? All right, come on. It's like, I should not be reading this.

I agree. Oh, it feels a little invasive. Yeah. So, Kylie, with the pitch in mind about the idea of adding a little bit of heat from the letter, will you just take a second, look at the letter, look at what you have, see if you can add something and then present it back.

And if we all feel good about it, we could maybe send it and that's what could end this call and obviously we're gonna need a follow-up from you. Yeah of course. Okay I think okay let me know. So hi Blink I found a postcard in one of the books I got from you if you don't want this let me know. I'm kind of a romantic so I like to keep these things from friends and loved ones but so this is something you want to keep and remember. And then in parentheses, I said, lest we forget the turtles, let me know and I will drop it in your box after work. Michael, your thoughts?

Where are you on the turtle line? I mean, I love it. I think the whole thing is really working. I'd be worried a little that she might... There might be a ward on this piece. I mean, you know, if I got this message, okay, now I'm in her shoes. Yeah, I'm going, what is being insinuated? I mean, I'm a little afraid now. I'm a little afraid of you. And what I'm bargaining for here. What am I agreeing to? The turtles is a really weird direction we went into and I want to cut it out.

You see that it's sort of like, I know something. Yes, I agree. It felt so weird. It would have creeped me out. I would have never written back. I would block your number. No, run. Go, oh God. You feel so naked. Yeah.

So, Kylie, let's do this. Will you erase the turtles and read it one more time? And then if we're all locked in, let's... Already done. Yeah, already done. So one more time from start to finish. Let's just hear it and make sure we're locked and loaded. Do you mind? Yeah, yeah, so hi blank. I found a postcard and one of the books I got from you

If you don't want it, let me know. I'm kind of a romantic So I like to keep these things, you know from friends and loved ones if this is something you want to keep Let me know I'll come by sometime this week and drop it in your mailbox after work. Can I ask one last thing in here? Yeah. I think the letter is perfect. Could you also say PS if you don't want it could you tell me what happened between you two? Tell me what happened between you two. No, I would kill it right away. I'm just so curious what happened. I trust me.

I am too. But like, I don't know this woman. I think you're right. I would never. I don't want to put any onus on her. Okay, I gotcha. So maybe maybe we're doing this in phases. Who the hell are you?

You're right. I'm just the lady who bought the book who once found $100 in a book and kept it. Yeah, I mean... I'm the kind of lady who doesn't view that as stealing. I bought the book. Is it not mine? No one's arguing. I think it is.

Finders keepers. I agree. So if you go to a bake and you find $1,000 in this safe and you keep it? That's different from finding, I think. I found it in your wallet. I Don't know if that'll hold up in court. I don't know if anything I took the guy this whole courts I don't think finding is the Christ whatever you did before the finding it that this isn't a lot show Michael It's an advice show. Let's move on

Okay, then I'm not gonna push for sending it But if she writes back before you write back again Will you call in because what I would love to get to because I think she's gonna write back to this What I would love to get to is that we as a show get to find out more what happened between Oh, yeah, the sexy lady and mr. Hawaii Hell yeah, no, okay. Will you do us a favor and will you send that message right now so that we know it's off in the world? Yeah, let me copy. It'd be interesting if there was like her, you know, long-time partner or maybe it's just a fling that she's Yeah, that she saved from way back. Maybe she was reading this book while and then they something bad happened. You never know

Yeah, like I know nothing about her. So everything, all these ideas are just dreaming up my head. Okay, where is she? By the way of fines, that's a good find. It's a good find. That's an easy if she says no, it's an easy framer. So Kylie, have you done it? I sent it. Thanks so much. And will you please follow up with Michael, go

ahead. Just before like I really like talking to you, Kylie. So I kind of wanted to include you in this too. I don't want to, but I want to tell you, Jake, real quick, a thing I found recently. Did I tell you it? No. Okay. So my son was, you know, born, yeah, three and a half years ago. He's, you know, our pregnancy was like during COVID. You know, my wife's pregnancy, I know you're not supposed to say our. Okay.

You know what I'm saying. So we didn't get to see my family for all that time. Anyway, the first time my family got to meet him, because we went and we were working and stuff and we didn't get home with him until he was turning one years old. So after his first birthday, we went home up to Canada and saw my family. We were at my mom's house and in this, she has one room with a lot of my stuff in it,

including a dresser that has been since my childhood, this dresser. It's moved through like several different moves through a few houses. It's got a bunch of stuff in it. And I would start rifling through it like I normally do when I go home to see what's in there and there's all this stuff and I find in this dresser for the first time, you know In my life, I've never stumbled upon this item before I find in the dresser a letter that I wrote when I was Ten years old addressed to my son know

And it's a letter to my son in the future. And it's a letter to my son written by me. I had obviously no concept of it like at all. Michael. So I sat down when I was 10, I was like sent to my room and I wrote this letter to him. And like, the thing is like, it's a whole letter to him. I have it framed in my house. It's like it's like it's like I'm here in my room. It's like it's like it's we just it's the turn of the millennium or something and it's got a lot of stuff. I don't know. It says like the sign off.

It says I hope you're enjoying the future because I'm sure enjoying the past. And it says, I love you very much. And the envelope said, to be read only by the son of Michael Sarah. It was written in crayon. I got it framed. But like, you know, like this 10 year old kid sat down and wrote this like with this crazy idea that one day his son would wrote it and that really is going to come true. That's the crazy thing. Amazing.

Like an arrow through time. And what was really interesting was like, it was amazing to have this thing in my hand That was like really a treasure a treasured item, but it was from myself But it was like I've treasured it more than anything I've ever treasured and it was just from me to me. That's awesome That's a two-time. That sounds like wheelhouse stuff you like God, I know I'm so it was crazy Like after you hadn't seen your family in so long hadn't found it until right when he was yeah, yeah So I like hit its target perfectly this thing

I was so nervous until it was finally behind glass like framed like traveling home I was so nervous about it. It was so precious to me. Yeah, you'll see I come whenever you come visit Kylie follow up with us, okay? Absolutely. Thank you guys so much. Thanks so much. Bye, Kylie. Bye. Dars, let's get ready for swim class. Okay, Das, let's get ready for swim class, okay?

Okay. Okay, Das? What do you want to be? Just press. What do you want to be? This princess. And what do you want me to be? That. Okay Dos, I'll be this princess? And I'll be this princess.

Please don't put this on me, Lisa. Sure. I'm not big enough to put stuff on you. You're not big enough to put stuff on you, Dos. You can do anything you put your mind to. You're not big enough to put stuff on you, Dawes. You can do anything you put your mind to. ["Biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz"] We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth

Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog we're here to help is produced by rabbit grim productions executive producers rob hollis jeff porter and natalie hollis associate producer jesse thurston editing mix and master by chris faller

theme song by oliver raleigh the cover artwork is by james fostike animations by andrew strelecki and if you'd like to see gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. I love you, Mrs. Gingerbread I love you very much, my sweet wind

I love you, love you, love you I'm always thinking of you I love you very much, Mrs. Webb. Oh, how I love you, Mrs. Gingerbread. There is nobody quite like you. I love you, love you, love you I'm always thinking of you I feel that you're thinking of me too Oh, now I love your Mrs. Gingerbread You're the perfect widow cat just for me I love you, love you, I'm always thinking of you And I will be flowing to you next year

Oh, how I love your Mrs. Gingerbread On your round head, sit two triangles shaped huge I love you, love you, love you I'm always thinking of you I wish I could alleviate your fear Oh, how I love your Mrs Gingerbread You are so very soft to the touch You're my monkey, weirdo monkey My junkie, weirdo monkey Which is why I love you so very much

All video episodes of Season 1 are available now on Patreon, and Season 2 video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod. Hi, I'm Caleb Herron, host of the So True podcast now on HeadGum. Every week me and my guests get into it and we get down to what's really going on. I ask them what's so true to them, how they got to where they are in life, a bunch of other questions, and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge. Whether it's one of my sworn enemies like Brittany Broski or Drew of Wallow or my actual biological mother, Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth. And if we find it great and if not, no worries. So subscribe to So True on Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts, and watch video episodes on the So True with Caleb Heron YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Thursday. Love ya.