We're Here to Help - 152: Garage Talk & Bag of Rice

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

The guys help a caller process the Hellish discovery that his mom's boyfriend has received a penile implant. Later, they help an employee at a non-profit tactfully redirect a strange donor's generosity. Plus, a follow up from Ep. 24: Suffer in a Nice Way with Johnny Bananas.Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And we are back! What's the worst pitch you think we've ever given Gareth in the history of this show that has gone? Can you think of one? Because I remember early we would always talk about how when we would ask them what they were going to do we were always surprised by how when we would ask them what they were gonna do, we were always surprised by the one they took.

Is there a call from earlier in our show that you remember that you went like, oh, that's a wild take from these people? I can't think of one specifically, but I definitely know there are times where if I were to be like the best friend of the person I'd be like don't take that one. Yeah Can you think of one?

Nothing's really jumping out right now But I do always feel when we go back. I'm always shocked what people decide to do well also like when it when it works like Thinking about the today one, the update on Gandalf, that was really the one where it felt like. Oh, cause that'll have been agreed. Yeah, it felt like we got a little,

it felt like we, cause that call, that setup is so good. Agreed. And that fall after that setup is so bad. By the way, at this point right now, this will be out in March. We still won't know what has happened with Gandalf and if we will it'll air after this you did Okay, Rob don't know you and Natalie have to and what is your guys's trauma with ducks that if a duck has gone for?

Comfy with it, and you're also so confident that a disappeared duck means him happy I Mean I think it's the only explanation though God now we need you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna drive to Matteo's house and put a fake Gandalf there just to win this so question for you Rob so Gandalf sees the statue and leaves right so that part of the story you are you still believe Gandalf is leaves, right? So that part of the story, you are, you still believe Gandalf is alive, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was so-

He just then happened to get hit by a truck after he got his feelings hurt, after his courtship with Mateo? Are you saying he took his own life, Rob? He went to look for a new home and then something happened. There's a pond is where his home is. It's getting thin. It's getting thin.

You're saying he left the pond, walked across the street. Wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, don't do this. Wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby,

wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wobby, wob Statue of the Duck got his feelings hurt and went the other direction. I think he was probably scared off by another. Yes, I agree And so couldn't he then in that time have just found somebody else's leg to hump. I hope so But but you're so confident. He's dead. We need Let's me know that in between those ears of yours wavy you think there's a chance There's a chance. No, we're talking, baby! Natalie does not believe that, but there is a chance.

Natalie, you think there's a chance? No. Okay, thank you, Natalie. But hold on, same logic to you. Natalie, do you believe that the duck saw the statue and was scared off? I think he was so hurt and betrayed. Stop this. He went down to the road and was scared off. I think he was so hurt and betrayed. Stop this.

He went down to the road and he killed himself. He jumped in her. Natalie. That's insanity. He put himself in front of a car. How about this? What next time you think that we're going to create a duck aside? Jump in.

Yeah, also Natalie, you were on that call. You're responsible too. You got duck, Natalie, you were on that call. You're responsible too. You got duck blood on your hands too, lady. You do, you're covered in duck blood. Gandalf's blood runs through your fingers as well, Natalie. Hey, I'm not a host. This is all you guys.

Well, we got you talking. You told us you weren't gonna, this is your second time. So now question for you, Natalie. You really believe, so, because I truly in my heart, heart believes that the pitch worked, Gandalf went back, saw the statue. I don't know what was going on in Gandalf's head, but whatever it was, he was like, I gotta get out of here.

So do you believe all of that is true up to this point? Yeah. So then your logic goes goes he was so heartbroken that he didn't go back to the pond where all the ducks go, they sleep, they eat everything. He went the other direction to the road. Well he looked for him and took nine of his friends. Well we don't know, there's just, there's all, they say 10 ducks are missing. Strange.

It's called migration. It's possible. I think it's gotta be migration. I really think migration could be a big player in all this. Otherwise, this tail is screwier than Gandalf's nine inch penis. I agree. Because then we are jumping into,

it's insane that a truck killed ten ducks at the same time. What are they on, strike? Also where are their bodies? Where are the bodies, Rob? Maybe he ate them, I don't know. Oh yeah, we're doing candid, this is absurd. Yeah, so Natalie, question for you too here. Sorry to be Columbo on this one, but one more thing.

Where are the ten duck bodies? They were cleaned up. There's a roadkill service, obviously. Natalie. You think Mateo's just out on the road all day looking for the duck bodies? Natalie, I drive back and forth across this country. There is no roadkill cleanup department. Yeah.

Believe me. Also, what is that department? The road we cut? Who's financing that? I'll tell you, when it comes to budget cuts, that went a long time ago. Your job is to clean up ducks that got run over by drugs because they were heartbroken because the guy they were courting put up a statue. Duck corners, I hate to see it, but I think they probably moved on. This isn't something a government pays for.

While this duck died from truck injuries, I think he passed away from a broken heart a long time ago. I don't even know what to say to follow that story up. I agree. I agree. Well, maybe it's time we just get to the show. But I think some of us are going to keep a light on in the window for old Gandalf. Well, I think there's going to be a big follow-up on it. And I think the Gandalf story has been one that has piqued the interest.

Of America. And the world. And the world. You said he was dead, too. That was a while ago. All right, guys, without further ado... Hello. Hello.

How are you? Oh, I'm doing great. How are you? Great. Welcome to the show. We're here to help. We appreciate you calling in. Yeah, of course. Can we get your name, please? Yeah, my name is Aaron. Aaron. Where are you calling in. Yeah, of course. Can we get your name please? Yeah, my name is Aaron. Aaron, where are you calling from, Aaron? Calling from Northern California.

Ooh, what part? Kind of outside of Oakland. Ooh, outside of Oakland. I did a thing at Pixar once. Got to spend a little time in beautiful Oakland. I love it up there. Went to Alcatraz, not to brag. It's not about me, it's about you.

Pixar and Alcatraz, it feels like a lot of you details in this intro for him. I got excited. Yeah, you're really opening up like you never have before. I don't know what's happening. Nobody does, you've always got weird, you're being strange. I'm feeling strange, I'm wearing sweatpants.

Aaron. Just take over, man. Nobody does you've always got weird you're being strange. I'm wearing sweatpants Aaron Just take over man What's going on today? We're gonna get some details about you as we go. I blew the intro Aaron Northern, California You know what? I wrote like an idiot. I wrote on my little notes Pixar. You know, so Pixar says you really you're now taking notes notebook Autograph it Aaron what's going on buddy? Sorry, so you're now taking notes on yourself in your notebook. Alchondrize. Jake, can you just autograph it? Aaron, what's going on, buddy? Okay, I've been dealing with something. So about a couple months ago, I was talking to my mom

and she brought up that her boyfriend had a surgery. And I said, oh, you know, what's what's going on? What's going on with surgery? And she kind of became cagey about it and changed the subject. So then a couple of weeks go by and she brings up, you know, we're on the phone again. She brings up that her boyfriend has surgery. And I asked, what's going on? And she said, oh, you know, we had a surgery on his groin. And I said, oh, boy, did he have like a sports hernia?

What went on? And she didn't really give me any details and kind of change the subject. But now I'm getting really concerned. You know, what's going on with him? Does something go wrong? So then we finally are all together. Me and my wife and my mom and her boyfriend, and the surgery gets brought up again. And I asked, hey, what's going on?

And now the boyfriend's there with her, and they both change the subject. So later on that day, I kind of corner her boyfriend, just kind of one-on-one. I said, hey, I'm concerned about you. What's going on with the surgery? Are you guys? Okay, and he turned to me and he said Aaron

I've been dealing with erectile dysfunction dysfunction my whole life and I Got a prosthetic penis installed. This is can't be real Aaron, please This is a 100% real wait hold on on the Bible on the Bible, okay? And I completely turned red, and I'm pretty sure I just gave him a thumbs up and walked away Show an erect thumb to the poor guy yeah, but also what kind of responses yeah, just like oh terrific Alright, buddy, and then the walk away mid conversation. I hope you guys weren't in a room without doors and like an elevator. You just walked to the other side of the elevator and faced the wall.

I hope you do the wrong exit move where you go the wrong way and have to do the cross back. So dad. Hey, okay, buddy. So mom's boyfriend says he's had a hard time getting erections and now he's got a surgery. Can you explain what the surgery is, Aaron? I'll walk you. Oh, go ahead.

Well, here's where things get even more weird. I can't get this out of my head now. So when I get home later that day, I tell my wife and she's like, oh my God, you just had the push with the surgery. You had to keep looking for an answer because I just thought it was weird. By the way, oh my God, you just had to push with the surgery. You had to keep looking for an answer because I just thought it was weird. By the way, Aaron, of course you did. You didn't do anything wrong. You're the victim here, brother.

Yeah, thank you. So I was concerned and I walked into a grenade. And my wife is telling me, you know, now every time we see your mom and she's smiling and having a good time, we know why. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, you're in a world of trouble, Aaron. You're in a world of trouble. We talked to some friends about it. And then that led to all of us researching types of prosthetic inserts. We found there's two types. There's one that's like a metal rod and then there's one that's inflatable I don't know what you get a metal rod inserted. So you're walking around with an erection 24-7 all the time How do you get on a plane? Well? It's a question. How do you get through TSA?

These are all questions I don't have the answers to. That's fair. Inflatable meaning you... Pump it. Pump it? Apparently what we research is there's... New blow job. But that I get, we have an inflatable mattress in our house.

I know how to do those. That I get? That's not right. I don't get a metal rod in your body at all times giving you a full on erection. I don't either. That makes not right. I don't get a metal rod in your body at all times giving you a full on erection. I don't, I don't either. That makes no sense. Okay, all right, so you guys do the research, keep going.

Then we just start going down weird paths, you know, as friends, does my mom have some sort of app that she presses a button when she's ready and all of a sudden, there it is. We just, we're losing our minds over here and I don't know where to go forward with this. Do I bury it? Do I approach my mom with this?

What do I do? Okay, so this is a first. This is a first, Gareth. And I'll tell you why it's a first. The question's pretty open-ended. It's I'm in hell, how do I get out? Yeah, this is a Pandora's box. I think that's what we're looking at.

So essentially, just to recap, and this is more just, I'm gonna say it out loud again and see if anything comes up for Gareth and I just to start it, but mom's boyfriend, how old is this guy? Oh, he's in his 60s. What are we calling him? Ed. Yeah, we're not giving real names here.

Okay, so we'll call him Ed. Okay, we'll call him Ed. And what's Ed's vibe? What does he look like? He's a cool dude. Yeah, just a chill, cool guy. Cool guy. My mom's been divorced twice.

Okay. And he's a cool dude. Yeah, just a chill, cool guy. Cool guy. My mom's been divorced twice. Okay. My mom's been divorced twice. She met him five, six years ago. They've been together ever since and they moved in together and he's a really good dude. They got a nice thing.

The problem is Ed can't get erections. And your mom's like, I'm not done in that area of my life. And Ed goes- That's what I didn't want to hear. I hear you. But we got now, Aaron, unfortunately you called in. We got to talk it out. Oh yeah.

So this is now a safe space. But what we got to do is we got to go through the fire a little bit to get to the other side. Yep. Because we will get to the other side on this one, but it's gonna be uncomfortable for you, for our audience, for us. No one's gonna like it.

Yeah, I mean, we're talking about how the guy your mom is dating had a surgery on his penis so he can bang her. I mean, this is not gonna be a pleasure for him. This is classic Jake Pam stuff. All right, we're good. We're good here. Gareth, what did you do when your mom and I first went through this? It didn't happen.

She asked me to go through the penis surgery. To shrink my penis. When she asked me to shrink my penis. That's not true. I've seen you in swim trunks when the water clings to you. There's no surgery there. I know, because you have goggles on, you stay underwater the whole time to watch me get out of the pool.

That's great. I'm talking about when you get out of the pool and the water sections to you The only guy who would say that is not a guy who likes the size of his crotch I Know you know the move you get out of the pool first thing you do is You get out of the pool, first thing you do is you're like, get that, get that. Now let a random see that. That won't scare people. Nature's not gonna x-ray me. This isn't about us though, again.

It's about you, it's not about Oakland and Alcatraz and the way our shorts look when we get out of pools. This isn't a Pixar call. So Aaron, your mom's with Ed, what are we calling mom? So if he's Ed, what's she? She can be Phyllis. Okay. Phyllis, that's how it really works.

Yeah, it really does. And so, Ed's going through some surgeries, you keep asking what's happening, and finally he says he got this surgery. Do we know if the surgery was successful? I have no idea. I know that he's healed. Okay.

There was a time that's why I kept getting brought up. Oh, I need to check on my boyfriend, make sure he's doing okay. He might need a couple more weeks. By the way, first- Check on him. Well, I gotta say, I'm gonna tell you, Aaron, my first instinct is I think we got to go all the way through I think I agree

That's exactly what I really that's where I'm okay I think the I think it's too what you're letting know what you're living in now is the nebulous version Which sometimes is almost worse than the closure version. Yes. I think you want to know the actual reality I think the reality is that it took and you know. But you need the details because you're living in the scariest part of a horror movie is before you see the monster. Once you see the monster, you go like this, that's okay.

Oh yeah, whip it out, I agree, let's see. But all of a sudden, you're just hearing sounds, you're hearing footsteps, your character's in a hallway. You don't know if all of a sudden your mother in a pair of lingerie, sorry thinking of Pam, is all of a sudden pressing buttons and then all of a sudden this robot dick goes like. Rawr!

Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr!

Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Explain why. Repeat what you just said and I'll explain where it goes off the rails. The mother presses a button and the robot dick crawls out of Ed's pants like alien.

Just going like, There you go. Right there. How? Right there. Where it's crawling out of the pants acting like an alien and screaming. So what do you think it does? I think, well, my guess?

We got a rod put in. You do. My guess is we just got a rod put in. But what is it? What are the mechanics of it? I think it's like you said, it's pretty straightforward. I think he's dealing with 24-7 wood Hey Aaron Yeah

What's your relationship with Ed you guys text buddies? Oh Occasionally we'll you know ask each other questions, but we're not going out for lunch together. Just the two of us. So when you were in the room with them, can you walk us through exactly what happened again? So, uh, you wanted to show me something cool with his car in the garage. Um, so I figured that's the first time.

His penis on a left. So I figured that's the perfect time to change things up. A guy who has a surgery says to me, I want to show you something cool in my garage. I'm saying pass. I have also. I think I'm good with everybody else in the living room, my man. All right. So he wants to show you something cool. You guys go keep walking us through it.

Yeah. And then I just asked again, hey you know I'm concerned are you okay? You know with the surgery I don't really know what's going on and then that's when he turned and told me what he said that he'd been dealing with that for a while and so how did he say it? Will you try to use the exact words as you can remember? Can we do something, Gareth? Will you be... Can we be Aaron? Yeah, and then will you try Aaron to be Ed

so we, and maybe put a little heat on how Ed actually talks so we can get an image of this to actually try to get the real picture. But if Gareth starts going in a direction that isn't what really happened And I'm giving you an Aaron. I'm giving you the power to say cut So or just soft direct you don't have to cut. I mean we're rolling Jesus Christ. It's not video. You ever been on a set Yeah, it's not video. Let's cut. It's unusable footage. No, it's wrong. You always you always We're running. I always want to say the edit as you'd understand down

I would that's why I'm gonna nail it. I'm just saying and cut Already not like and all right here. We go all right ready ready Aaron. Yeah, all right action. Oh Yeah, so how's everything been going are you doing all right? Aaron I just, uh, want to tell you something that I've been, uh, dealing with ED kind of my whole life and, uh, we decided that I was going to get, uh, a prosthetic inserted into my penis. So you're good Wait, is that the not so you're good weird question by the way alone in a garage after that saying so you're good You're hitting on him. Hey, by the way, we're giving if we're giving direction a little more buildup

No, my guy get in. No, by the way, we're giving direction Aaron perfect Now Gareth responses, so we so good is as weird of a response as you could get I'm giving you options let me do more no I got in there so you're good I got another one hold on so Aaron is that really what happened awesome yeah he kind of he kind of went a little bit. Oh Yeah, he whispered to me and like I told you I just gave him a thumbs up and you Yeah, I gave him a thumbs up I said cool and then we went back Your reaction age is worse than worse that is a shocking reaction by the way, everything is shocking So every every I mean he might have lost his fucking mind when you give him the thumbs up

I would have but also to shit to share that is shocking awesome, but Have you talked to him since then I Mean we've seen each other Or Aaron we're jumping we're jumping and I sorry, just because this stuff's important to me. You say awesome, give a thumbs up, you walk out of the garage. Is this accurate? Yeah, that's how I remember it.

I usually said awesome or cool, one of the two. Same difference. Cool. So you walk out, then you're in his house. How ventured. He's got to come back in the house. What's the transition back into just civilization? Run into the woods. Yeah, he came back in after me and then I buried that information until I got home and told my wife. Until you guys then just went back to whatever it is

you guys were talking about the next 45 minutes to an hour and a half, however long the hang was. Just didn't bring it up again. No. Okay. So, and then you have not brought it up with him or your mom since? Nope.

You talked about it with your wife, you and your friends and your wife, you've kind of got into this, you've gone a little bit of deep. You're living in apocalypse now right now, your head's spinning, you don't know what's up and what's down. You decide to call in a podcast, you have made the right call, and that's where we're at right now? Yes.

Holy shit, Gareth. Well, I did a little research real quick, the the rod one is basically what we're saying it is a semi Hard rod that always stays that way and it looks like the way you deal with it Is you just kind of tuck it remember like when you're in like? Junior high and you'd get a yes, you know, it's always semi hard. Yes And then lives in the front of the research and I can't believe you're our research guy. Yeah, it's not good, things are bad. But from our, from,

will you walk us through what it's saying, how that, like honestly, how that works? Okay. Because I can't wrap my, honestly don't wrap my, I can't wrap my head around it. I'm also worried about the future of my pop-up ads, I'll be honest with you. What you have done on that computer

is way worse than right now. There's no need to come attack me I'm your buddy here we're all buddies here. Semi-rigid rods. Semi-rigid devices are always firm the penis can be bent away from the body for sexual activity and toward the body for concealment. Okay hold on we have an image it'll go on the IG obviously but there's a semi-rigid... okay. Oh nice that's perfect thanks for that Rob. Okay interesting so what it so what It'll go on the IG obviously, but there's a semi- okay. Nice. That's perfect. Thanks for that Rob. Okay interesting. So what it basically is... Looks like a half-peeled banana. Okay, so it can go up or it can go down and there's probably some device that could do it. Okay, so this is

soft penile implant and then malleable and inflatable. And inflatable devices, which are the most common, can be inflated to create an erection. At other times, three-piece inflatable implants use fluid-filled reservoir implanted under the abdominal wall. Holy shit. A pump and a release valve can be placed inside the scrotum with two inflatable cylinders inside the penis.

This is a good time. That's what we researched, like a button that you can press under the scrotum. I next to this one. And so I wonder, I hope the That's what we researched, like a button that you can press under the screen. I think it's this one. And so I wonder, I hope the button's like in the, like in the chute right under the balls. I hope it's not like a remote control.

You're talking about like a kill switch? Yeah, I hope it's not like a remote control. Cause guess what? Imagine if you lost it. Oh my God. Oh my, or just, you know, some people have a remote bin when you walk into their room. I'm trying to turn the volume up.

Stop hitting that one. Don't hit that I'm trying to turn the volume up stop hitting that one That one again, that's not volume up. You're you're wrestling with Ed and somebody hits the remote No, I really hope it's a button right under the balls that you know you got to get you got to kind of like You know if you're like dryer needs to be reset you have to like open up a weird cover put your hand in and like Find the little button. I want it to be like that, so that thing's only turning on if mom's rolling up her sleeves and getting her hand in there.

That's nice, that's good for you. One of my friends brought the point with technology, does my mom have an app now where she just presses a button? Incredible. Again, risky. Yeah, but also I will say this, first of all, modern medicine's incredible. Yeah, but also I will say this. First of all, modern medicine's incredible. Yeah, this is good.

This changes a lot. When my dad had prostate cancer and they removed his prostate, he called all sad and he said, they killed my dad. So seeing this, I'm like, man, they could have put this right in Krakow and we could have had an app. That would have been a lot of fun for the big guy.

It's not too late. It is too late. He's passed away. No, I mean, okay, yeah, fair enough. What are you gonna do, it in the ground? Well, there's, listen, let's stay focused on it. By the way, you know it's really gross. If you die and the machine still works. That's a prank for the open casket.

If it's a nap. Open casket. Ugh. When like, a girl, when When one of his girlfriends goes up, his old girlfriend, the wife goes up. So sad. Nothing. Like his first girlfriend goes up. The priest.

So let's figure out what we're doing now. I think your instinct is right, which is I think you just want closure on it. What I would do is I would keep it between you and Ed, and I would say, this is what I would do. I would get another moment alone with him, steal another moment alone with him, and I would say, hey, you know,

last time we talked about your surgery, I don't think I gave you the response that was fair. How are you doing? Are things okay? And I would get a little more- You would lean into the sincerity. And I would, yeah, and I would get a little more information. I would find out it's inflatable.

I would find out that it's working. And I would just come to terms with the fact that my mother is now getting hammered by a kids party. I have a crazy pitch. It's somewhat like that, Aaron. But I need to know if when I start this, if you're a kids party, believe it. I have a crazy pitch. What? It's somewhat like that, Aaron, but I need to know if when I start this, if you're a no, cut me off.

We don't need to waste time on it. By the way, I will say I love where he's going already. Yeah? And this could be show history. What do you mean? This could be big for the show. Oh, well, this is a real pitch in my opinion. But the reason I say that is if you don't feel that way then it's a bad pitch and let's abort because this is something

I could get teased for Aaron would you ever consider lying to Ed in saying that you also have Ed Asking him saying hey man, can I talk to you privately just between us? And he'd go, sure. And go, I think it's really brave what you went through and you talk. And, but this is something that I struggle with. Can you walk me through the procedure? What happened?

What do you got? Does it work? You know, it's obviously awkward, but I just need to know the details of this for us to see if this is something I ever wanna do. So I like where you're coming from. But then my first thought is he's gonna didn't tell my mom that I got ED. Okay I got a pitch off of that. First of all that

doesn't matter. Agreed. So what your mom thinks you gotta fuck? She's dating a guy who's got a limp one. Yeah but also Aaron like who cares if your mom doesn't get bonus. Yeah now she's gonna see me and like give me a pat on the back and be like it's okay, son Who doesn't want a pat on their back from mommy? adult men How about this how about we do this how about you get a moment alone with Ed we will one of us right now will make a voice memo for you and You can play it for Ed and you basically set it up as you told a buddy about Ed surgery To another couple friends of yours, just kind of asking what they knew about it.

And one of your friends reached out privately with a voice memo asking for advice and maybe if you could ask Ed to tell him what to do next. And so that way you get insight into Ed's procedure without really prying. Interesting. I've got another one. I got another pitch This is a weird one what if we tried to get Ed on the show show history

No, I think you'd be too embarrassed. Okay, I understand I understand And here's what I'm trying to get to Aaron and I think this is what Garrett the garrison wants to do the voice note But here's what I want to add on the show more. Yeah. I well here's what I think we really want More than anything and I can say that for us is To see what the follow-up in the second half of is. Because I think there's too much info here. Like Aaron, we can't officially give you, our advice to you is we need to get more information from Ed and we might have to go,

we might have to run a mile to go a block. So here's what my real advice is. Can you text him? So here's what my real advice is. Can you text him? I can, yeah. So what I would suggest is we create a text to start the conversation with Ed, and then we're gonna need a follow up

to go to the next step. Is that, Gareth, what are you thinking when I say that? Like, let's think about Aaron as a real guy. We don't wanna put him in a bad situation. We don't want it more awkward. I'm just thinking for the best, shortest path, like making a guy text it out feels, like here's why it's weird.

Because then Ed goes to Phyllis and goes, hey, Aaron just sent me this. No, I have a pitch, I have a pitch. Okay. Aaron, you text Ed, hey pal, thinking about your surgery, wondering, has it been successful? You doing okay. Because you didn't handle it correctly. He confided in you, man.

But you're not gonna get all the information out of it. I know, but we're starting. We're wetting the beach. That's why I would go, I would do the corner. I would do the corner and be like, let's get it all out on the table. You got a balloon in your cock? You would do it in person? Yeah.

I would do it, I would almost replicate the first version of it and instead of the thumbs up awesome storm out. All right, let's do this. Let's do this for real. You do, you are Aaron. and instead of the thumbs up awesome storm out. All right, let's do this. Let's do this for real. You do, you are Aaron. Okay.

And then Aaron, will you be Ed? Here we go again, okay. And then this is- Let me breathe a little out there. Can you give us the kind of pitch that when the next time you think you'll see him is? Okay. When is the next time you'll kind of see him? I don't know, we usually see my mom and him probably twice a month. Okay, so you'll probably be at the house. Got a

minute. Okay, yeah. All right, here we go. Ready? We're in the garage. We've sidebarred somehow. We're in the garage again. Back in the garage. Back in the garage where it all started where I gave the thumbs up and said cool. Alright. Hey Ed, I was wondering are you doing better physically? I know you had that procedure. How are things? Oh Aaron, thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm all healed up and things are going great. Okay, good.

I'm glad to hear that. I know the last time you told me, maybe I got a little uncomfortable, but I just was not expecting that answer. I actually have a friend who had, when I talked to him a little bit about this, he has a similar situation. He was wondering what exactly was the procedure like?

And he's wondering, would you recommend it? Like, what did they do? Well, the procedure was pretty quick and easy, but the recovery was a while. And we went with the inflatable option. I gotta jump in. Oh, what is that an ad? I gotta jump in.

Is there a remote? So I'm gonna try this version, you and me. I wanna go away from the friend. It reminds me of the, I've got my friend has a problem. My friend still and you go, well we know there's no friend, it's you. Voicemail helps. So let's try again. I'm gonna try being you, you're there's no friend, it's you. Voicemail helps. So let's try again.

I'm gonna try being you, you're Ed, we're back in the garage. Hey, Ed, what's going on? Oh, doing great. Nice, man, I'm loving what you're doing with this car. Thanks for showing it to me. Yeah, thanks, took a lot of time to do it. Yeah, I could tell.

Hey, man, I just want to say, how's everything going with that surgery? Did everything turn out okay? Oh, thanks for asking, Aaron. You got it all right. Yeah, everything's good. I'm all healed up. No way, great.

And you know, it's obviously an uncomfortable thing, but is it all working? It's working just as we hoped it would. Ah, good for you, good for you. Hey, what'd you do you do the pump? Yeah, we're not upon you won't want to pump over the rod yeah, why'd you do that? Why'd you choose that cuz you know I've looked at it. You know The rod was invasive. Oh With is there a button underneath the balls. Where'd you put the body guys? It's me Phyllis

I made some lemonade sorry it's me, Billis. I made some lemonade. Sorry it took me so long to walk over here. I'm in a bit of pain. I have lemonade inside if you guys want it. It feels like this conversation should be over. My hips are killing me. One of my hips is out of socket.

In a good way. Get in here. Get in here. I've been pressing the remote. So Aaron, how are you going to do this, man? How are you going to get more information out of Ed? I think our role playing has helped. I think just kind of asking him how they go and then how does that work?

Because I don't know anything about it. Let's try this for a second. Cause you know both characters. Let's do a little bit of Eddie Murphy for a second. And will you play both characters? Will you play you, Aaron and Ed and try to give us a very real read of how it might go down so we can maybe give notes on it?

Yeah, I could try. Okay, so you are now both characters, you don't have to say, and then he said, he said, we can tell that they'll be slightly different voices. Okay. But you are now in the garage, looking at the car with your mother's boyfriend. He's got a peanut in him.

Hey Ed, how's it going? The car looks great. Oh, thanks Aaron. Always trying to make it better, trying to get the car to where I want it to be. Hey Ed, I really apologize about the way I handled our last discussion about your private situation. And I just wanted to follow up and make sure you're doing okay and make sure that everything's working in the way it should. Oh, thanks, Aaron. I appreciate

it. Yeah, everything's good. I'm all healed up and the procedure worked and we are moving forward. Me and your mom together the way that we wanted. I can't believe I'm saying this out loud. Aaron, please keep going. You're doing a wonderful job. You got to, this is where you got to now put your closet and make your move. Speaking of that, Ed, I was just curious about how does this whole thing work? How does a surgery like this go through? Are there different ways to accomplish this? What happens here?

Well, Aaron, I don't want to get into too many details, but there's a metal rod version and there's an inflatable version. I decided to get the surgery on the inflatable version because it seemed to be less invasive on my body. Oh, that's great. Ed. So is how does it inflate? Well, the Aaron, there's a little button underneath my scrotum that I can push and you're in a money zone.

A risk controlroute control. Here's what we need you to do. And I say this now seriously, I think you're ready for this chat. Well done. The reason I wanted to hear you do it is to hear if this was gonna be a danger zone. I think you got it.

I think what we need to do and I think you need to follow up with us, can you please, and I don't think we should record it. I think that would be too embarrassing for Ed. I think we just, I think you have to actually just do it and report back to us and maybe you do both voices. I wanna keep Ed's privacy private on this, but I think Aaron, you're ready for this chat.

I do too. I think you should do it ASAP. Then when you get all the information, keep your vibe as your vibe. You're not, you're just getting the information because he had surgery. If you have surgery, people ask questions. Just because his surgery is about getting a pump in,

to give a thumbs up and walk away is creating a weird thing. He was confiding in you, so let him get it all out. Ask all the natural questions. And then there's gonna be a real natural pitch after that. And the pitch will probably be, now that you know everything, great, it's over. This is what they choose to do, sounds cool. Yeah.

I would steer clear of words like cool and awesome. I agree. But I think that's right. I think you- We just gotta get to the other side. It's uncomfortable for him I mean you're talking about a fucking blimp in his cock. Yeah, like this is not Don't just remember like if it's big enough it might be uncomfortable for her Yeah, it very well could be probably is and don't be afraid to ask if he if she picked eyes Yeah, she was involved on it, but I would say Aaron what you can see the remote

Play with the remote, but I would for sure Aaron have this talk with him and then call us back. Yep Okay, yeah, I feel good how you feeling about it I Yeah, I think You know making sure that he knows that I'm somebody safe. He could talk to about us. Yes I think that the next progression will just be trying to work through Yeah, that that's happening to my mother, but well guess what she probably pushed him into doing it It's here's how many of his mother. Stop talking for a little bit. Here's the reality of it.

Any woman your mother's age who's with a man that age normally probably has some version of this going on, whether it's Viagra or something else. Or a woman Gareth's mother's age is with a man my age. Thanks for the call, buddy. Keep us posted, okay? All right. Thank you, guys. See you, buddy.

All right, bud. Talk to you later. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye.

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Booking.com, Booking.Ya. I am currently planning a trip right now to Chicago and I am using Booking.com to find the hotel for me and it is making it very easy. Gareth, you use Booking.com to find where hotel for me, and it is making it very easy. Gareth, you use Booking.com to find where you're gonna stay on the road, correct? I use Booking.com all over this great nation of ours

to find places to stay, because I know I'm gonna be able to find exactly what I'm looking for. So I told the story recently, how I had a show just outside of, well I had a show in Vegas and I did not want to stay in Las Vegas. And on booking.com I found like what I think was like a five star resort in the middle of nowhere for a rate that I could not get over

and just had the best time. Drove like 45 minutes after the show. I was there for two nights and just felt much more at ease than staying right down there on the Las Vegas trip. No shade, I'm just old, not that old. Anyway, find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com, booking.yeah. Today's episode is brought to you by Alma.

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This episode is sponsored by the crisp refreshing angry Orchard listen guys. There's a litany of things that we shouldn't get angry about but let's be honest Sometimes it's hard not to be don't get angry about, but let's be honest, sometimes it's hard not to be. Don't get angry at Lamorne Morris for lying, for being a cheater, a faker, a liar. Don't get mad at Lamorne Morris for not being able to finish a hike.

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We're not going to tell you. We're not going to tell you. You can wait. But, you know, it's an interesting story. But this isn't about Mateo and his duck with the nine inch penis. This is about you. Can we get your name, please? Okay, I'm going to use a fake name. I'm Megan. This is about which we saw you Can we get the can we get your name, please?

Okay, I'm gonna use a fake name. I'm Megan. That's actually my best friend who introduced me to your show And when did she do the introduction? Probably a year ago. Okay, look look at you. So Megan and about how old are you? I'm about 30 about 30 and where do you live about? Las Vegas. Vegas. You a gambler? Occasionally, like a program machine. Conna-jo.

What's your favorite casino? Yeah, the Cosmopolitan. Ah, the Cosmo, the Cosmo. Kareth, you got any questions for Megan or should we get going? I think we should just get going I Yeah, Cosmo throws me for a loop, but go ahead. What's going on Megan? Okay, so I work in a non-profit and we have a free food pantry and we often get donations of food, you know food drive

That I coordinate and report all of our donations that I coordinate and record all of our donations. For the last six months, there's a guy that regularly mails us a single package of rice. And like, that's nice, we appreciate donations big or small, but I always notice that he pays $11 in shipping, and this is like a $2 bag of rice. And he's mailing it from within Las Vegas. Okay, we got a picture here. It's nice. Yeah. Wait, so we have a big box and in the box it's a, you know, a full size box and there's

one package of spaghetti. Spaghetti. Is that it? Oh, yeah. So it's always rice. And then the last one was spaghetti. Okay, so. So, but it's a huge box with very little yield, like just a small item. Like, was that spaghetti that we're seeing that is just sitting on top of a lot of paper the only thing in a box that size? Yes.

And so the shipping cost 11 bucks, but the rice or the spaghetti cost two to four bucks. Yeah. Yes. And he lives in Vegas. Really weird stuff. It's very strange. And how often is this guy sending these packages? At least once a month for the last six months. Really weird guy.

Really weird. It feels like we're tracking like a murderer. Like we're like, this is like, he's got a calling card move. It's just the weirdest calling card move It's really strange to just do one thing. Yeah. Okay, keep going Well, I guess my problem is I'm looking for a solution to maybe redirect him and his generosity It would be great if I could just get him to be a monthly donor of the non-stop it

Like could he just donate $11 to us every month or 13? to this $13 yeah, like I would settle for just having him donate the food in a cheaper way Yeah, either way it just makes you crazy. I mean I appreciate it I want to be like this makes a lot of sense though. Go ahead Gareth. I got a pitch I let me ask you this Megan. Do you have any I do the return address on the box? Is it a residence? Mm-hmm? Yeah, oh I got a great. I'm glad we got it. Go ahead. This is what I would do I would make it seem like you've sent out a mailer and

Do it so that it's just to him, but you're making it seem like, hey, it's us at whatever the name of the place is, the nonprofit. Thank you so much for being a monthly donor. We appreciate the donations. We're trying a new thing where we move in the direction of less food drop-offs and more donations so that we can use it for whatever.

Or Gareth, or Gareth, comma, because we have found a lot of people are overspending on shipping. Yes, I would actually. Because shipping isn't going to, we're finding the majority of our people are losing more money on shipping than they are in donating the food.

That's what I was basically gonna say. It's like, the idea here is that whatever you're spending on shipping costs or your package costs, could you just donate that to the nonprofit? Something like that, drop that off at his place. Or mail it, right? You could mail it, right? Well, I mean, yeah, sure, mail it, sure,

if you wanna do that. Just drop it off, he had made it a really weird turn. Yeah, I'm just, listen, let's get it. I wouldn't go mean, yeah, sure, mail it. Sure, if you want to do that. Just drop it off. He's made it a really weird turn. Yeah, just pay, listen. I wasn't saying, I wouldn't go there. Live in his yard. And yeah, so mail it. See if you, like you can put an email address or a phone number. See if you can get him online or see if he just starts donating that money. But he definitely seems like his heart's in the right place.

It's just kind of crazy. But just do one thing that makes it seem like it's a massive mail. But I really like that idea, Megan. I like that it's a letter to all, but I would also make it specifically to his name as well. So it's like you're getting this along with many others who... Or you could do a deer with a line and his name could be written in there. Yes, exactly right. So it feels like more people got it. Oh, okay.

Okay, like this was a mass printing and then I just filled in his name. Exactly right. But in going through our monthly donations, we have found you are one of the people who the shipping seems to be cutting into the expenses. I don't even think you need to get that specific. No, I think you would just say we're trying,

you know, we're trying to cater to the tastes of our members more and more. So for what you're spending on shipping, can you just donate that to our fund? P.S. You're a weirdo. P.S. We dropped this off. P.S. You put one king of rice for two bucks in a box goofball. Beelzebub goofball.

But you got a good heart. But you're a fucking goofball, dude. But really, that's a very... it's like... It's all tissue paper. It's that's a very, it's like, it's all tissue paper. Really wild stuff. It's all tissue paper, then it's eight grains of rice. But Megan, what do you think of that, pretending it's a big email,

I mean, pretending it's a mass letter, but then specifically to him and asking, rather than spend the shipping, to donate just the money or to drop it off. And I wouldn't say drop it off in person, but to just donate the money. What's your thought? Yeah, I mean, that might get his attention. So I did try one thing. So where I did send him a thank you card like a hand

written thank you card that said something along the lines of we appreciate your food donation Please give us a call and we can discuss the other ways you can support the work We do and he didn't and he never called me. I wouldn't call either if I got that I wouldn't either But I'll tell you why Megan. I'm already giving the rice and the spaghetti what I got a call to. Yeah, the thing you don't want... I gave a $2 thing of rice last month. Yeah. I'm a wonderful guy.

This would be the Hail Mary. The Hail Mary move would be you and someone else in shirts that show that you work at the nonprofit, go to his door and have a clipboard and act like you're going around and trying to get people in person to swap from sending in donations to giving in giving a cash donation month. I'm with him too. See, the thing is, we don't know where he's getting it from. Here's my thought.

Okay. Send him a huge box and in the middle of the box there's this tiny thank you card Surrounded by papers and it's just a small card saying we're just sending this to everybody who donates We appreciate it and he goes why such a big fucking box? Oh my god I got a deal with the box and all these papers. That's insane. And maybe he'll go I gotta take it easy with the packaging honestly, I do kind of That's insane and maybe he'll go I got to take it easy with the packaging honestly I Do kind of I? Here's what I would do start with the one where you pretend like it's a mass mailer

Yes, I'm gonna move as your second I think do something like if you did something like that and you like it is such a subversive way to be like buddy Take a lot of this box This is a lot of this is a lot of box to deal with, my guy, right? It's a waste. It's a box waste. But by the way, it's also a pain in the ass. You got to break it down and fill your recycling. Yeah, but also imagine him having that revelation, like, hey, there's a lot of stuff around just

this one thing. Wait a minute. That's kind of what I do. Or maybe he just really likes the post minute. That's kind of what I do. Maybe he just really likes the post office. Maybe. I mean, look, we can't get in the head of all these people, but I think that's what I would do. I would do one where you make it seem like a mass mailer. And then the follow up is I would literally just a huge box, maybe even one of the boxes he sends Who put all the tissue paper and there's just one little card that says thank you for your monthly donations Okay Maybe sometimes we feel like we hit home runs and we get the bunt reaction. Yeah, or at least a double

What do you think Megan? Where are you at on this? I mean, hey, I'm just thrilled. I'm calling in no, Maggie No, no, we have a higher ceiling. This is about this is about success So what do you think about these pitches and are you actually gonna do it? Well, I wouldn't be opposed to mailing him. I like the mailer idea. Yeah, I think that works. And making it seem like it's not targeted to him. It's goes, hey, everybody. Yes. Oh, but one of my co-workers, we did notice that he does have a Hispanic name and we have

a very large Spanish-speaking population. He actually thought maybe he doesn't, maybe he only speaks Spanish. And maybe that's why he didn't respond to my thank you card. Well, that's interesting Well, then why don't you write a card in English and one in Spanish? Yeah, is that If I did the mailer I'd have to do maybe like a bilingual mailer Yeah, call it the bilingual mailer and if that doesn't work sending a big box Where's your head at? Did you are you looking for a crazy idea? Where are you?

Let's get in touch with you here for a second. You call Idea Or are you looking for a crazy idea? Where are you at? Let's get in touch with you here for a second. You called us We didn't call you, right? Yeah! I like the Miller idea I mean I was also thinking like I don't know. Would it be crazy to like Make a donation box like a food donation box that just happens to now be located in that neighborhood That would be insane That would be insane, Meg Yeah, insane. That's a lot of work.

I don't want to go driving. You have to go drive over there. You have to get the legal rights where you can be... Unless you put a donation box right at his door. That's what he would do. We're talking about little work for high yield. That's what we're going for. This sounds like you don't work at the place.

It sounds like you're the one who sends the rice Yeah, oh my god the ultimate and this is a weird turn you're going You're basically calling in to go like am I weird? Yeah? I get why he does it I mean it seems cool, so I wouldn't do a weird box in his neighborhood I wouldn't go to his house. I wouldn't do the thing where you pretend to be going door-to-door Yes, all if what in the end what he wants to do is send one thing a rice and spend $11 Look, you can't tell another human how to spend their money even if they're puzzling. Yeah, it's puzzling, but this is Vegas We're wasting a lot of money on dumb or shit. But what I would do is I would put in a letter

Very clearly that see and we could help you write it if you want, but the idea of it would be, we have found people are overspending on shipping and your generosity of spirit, we want to get that into food and not into shipping. So perhaps you can wait an extra month and make sure the boxes are pretty packed up because he might be on a tight budget and all he can afford

right now is one thing is spaghetti and guess what that's really generous. It is. But we're basically saying to him hey man don't spend the nine bucks to ship it my man wait three months. Rather than send one thing a month, send all of them once in six months. Okay, yeah. Megan, what do you hate? Megan, what do you hate? Megan, you got one of those reactions where no matter what we do, it feels like we're falling short.

Now, is that just your reaction or are you like, nah, none of these are working for me? Well, I think that's good. I think I'm just trying to be mindful of it because I don't want to get fired for doing something wrong. But I don't think that's good. I think I'm just like trying to be mindful of it because I don't get fired for doing something wrong But I don't think I'm fired. Oh when you called in what were you hoping for to get a promotion? No, I really didn't think of that idea so I really was thinking like what other ideas like Yeah, I'll go really nice though. Thank you so much.

Muchas gracias. Very kind, very appreciative, and then turn with the alternative ways and then end with, or if you wanna continue doing it how you're doing it, that is fine too. We appreciate your support. So much, everything that everybody does helps our organization so much.

P.S. this letter went to a lot of people Yes, not just you and then say his name It's not just you we're trying to get to the bottom of and those two people in blue shirts outside who are volunteers Putting a little box outside. We're doing that to everybody's house. We're actually putting donation boxes on everyone's lawn Just so you know Don't fit that is that like feel, it's not like weird. It's not targeted. Also, two dollar rice in a big box, so weird man.

We say that to everybody. Okay, let us know. Hold on, Megan, hold on. Megan, how do you feel about this plan? Are you going to really do it or do you want some more pitches? Where are you at? I'm a mailer. I think I can make a mailer because I'm pretty good with like graphic design stuff that I could make a mailer that looks

Like it's just a normal mailer. I love this. I could make a pretty convincing one. I love this I think and how about this? Let's do this if you do the mailer and it offends this guy and he doesn't send anything back And you feel like oh no, I just blew some donations it offends this guy and he doesn't send anything back, and you feel like, oh no, I just blew some donations, then right into the show, and we'll figure out another solution, and the show will donate $100 worth of pasta.

And it'll make a two-year worth of this guy's donations. Yeah, it'll make it clean and easy. Right, so you won't lose in this situation. We'll make sure that the food is donated. But what we're trying to help first is to save this guy on shipping. Because I think that's the whole point of this call. Mm-hmm. Is that right?

Mm-hmm. Are you happy or sad or medium, Megan? Jake, you're not going to get what you want. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm telling you. I'm feeling connected to her and I feel sad about this. Here's what's going on. I'm telling you. I'm feeling connected to her and I feel sad about this. Here's what's going on.

She likes the idea, but it's not one of those ones where the person's like, holy shit, that's brilliant. She's gonna do it and we'll go from there and if we fall short, we'll go from there. Megan, how do you feel? I think the mailer's a solid idea. All right, solid, we're gonna take solid. We're gonna take solid.

We're taking solid. Thank Alright, solid. We're gonna take solid. We're gonna take solid. We're taking solid. Thank you, Megan. Do the mailer and then seriously keep us posted. Okay, thank you. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. You guys all know what Squarespace is. It's the easiest way to create a great website and I might create a Squarespace website about Lamar Morris and Kyle from the Lamar need after podcast because they're you know, they're coming after us and we haven't done anything wrong We're the innocents and they're the bullies. But we will defend ourselves with the help of Squarespace. We will make a website to defend

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This next call is a follow-up from our last episode, episode 151, Thanks for the MemoTrees. Hello! Hello! Hello, welcome back to We're Here to Help. We know that you're a follow-up. We want to apologize for it taking a little bit for us to jump in. We know we kept you waiting for a little bit for us to jump in. We know we kept you waiting for a minute.

A lot of times when we do that it's because we're late on a call. That's not the case today. Today Jake had some mic issues that took about seven minutes and after about seven minutes of people troubleshooting we realized he had muted it on the actual mic itself. Anything to say, Jake? Yeah, you know, the thing that I'm trying to explain to Gareth is that when you press the mute button when it's all right Can we can we get your can we get your name, please? Yes, of course. My name is Bryce and my first call

Was about the tree house in Sherman Oak. All right, right Sherman Oaks tree So yeah walk us through what happened. And we also know that Rick Glassman showed up. We know that we had a mole, Rick Glassman. We think we did, because he texted us before that he was going, but the show was yours. And then he never replied after we followed.

The next thing he sent was something from, I think a comedy club with your name and like a hand sanitizer. Correct, yes. Rick's follow-up was a completely different subject. All right, so what's happening? So we had the party on Saturday, February 22nd, and it was awesome.

My dad decided to announce it on the news. So there were a few hundred people who showed up. No way! Just announcing it to all of Los Angeles. So it was massive. Great! We had so much liquor. My parents made jambalaya. Ran out immediately. And it was way better than expected because I, And it was way better than expected because the community got to come by and say goodbye. And we had people, strangers who would come up to us and be like, I've been driving past

this tree house for the 16 years that I've lived here and I'm so sad to see it go. So that was a lot of fun, but I brought up the pinata idea to my parents and they didn't say no to it, but they pretty much said no, but we wouldn't have been able to do it anyways because there were so many people there. Do you fully remember the pinata idea? Yes, I do. We were going to hit the treehouse like this. Yeah, it's a terrible idea.

So here's my question just to see how humiliated we're about to be, that's a terrible idea. Okay. So here's my question, just to see how humiliated we're about to be. It's a terrible idea. Were you always going to have the party, or can we take any credit for that party? We were always going to have the party. Okay, so our only idea was hit it like a fucking piñata. Did any of our ideas make it into the mix? No, Garrett, they had a... Let her answer. Let her answer. We said hit it like a piñata, Garrett, they had a very long, long, long, long party. Let her answer.

We said hit it like a pinata. You said that, Bryce. Go ahead. Did any of our stuff eat through? All we did was bring Rick Glassman to the party. Quiet. You muted your mic by touching it for eight minutes. And we didn't even do that, by the way.

He just went. That's true. Anything we come up with make it in there, Bryce? So the other thing that y'all said is when the parents go to sleep The kid could just have a massive slumber party in the tree house And we didn't put beer pong in the tree house because it wouldn't fit but we had beer pong on the front yard And we had music blasting Facing the neighbor's house of course and cornhole, so that was a lot of fun.

And my sister and I were gonna sleep up there, because it's the last time to ever sleep up there, and I couldn't find her at 2 a.m., so I went into her room, and she was passed out drunk in her bed. So, didn't sleep up there, but still, still party up there until 2am. I mean, but you were planning on doing all of that regardless, correct?

Yes. Well, it's- We're not sensitive, it's just- Just tell us how it is. This is for the statistics of the show. We're excited, this is a win. We're happy for you. Before we need to take our loss.

Yeah, please. You have won. And please just just end this drop the guillotine So you did not do the pinata which so can you remind us what else we pitched Jess? I'm trying to see if there's anything here that nothing made it. I Mean, you also pitched Pirate theme which was there any Explained on the news. So no Which is kind of hard to explain on the news, so no. But we did, we didn't do the pinata thing, but we did get really drunk and start ripping

shingles off of the outside of the treehouse. That's different. That's Jack Daniels gave you an idea, not us. But that's fine. That's fine. Look, okay, we're our, we're, Bryce, look, we lost. It's okay. We're happy for you. I have a couple of questions about your event that you figured out on your own and that's fine

And we're fine with that and that's great for you So the show isn't this episode is not called we're here to help it's just we're here to give bad ideas And then you just go do the party you're gonna. Yeah, we're here We're here talking for some reason People we're talking for some reason. We're here bugging people. We're here for some reason. Season two. Okay, so we'll re-march it. What was your question?

Honestly, I think if my dad didn't announce it on the news to all of Los Angeles, because we even had news outlets come to the party Party do a story Right if we didn't announce it to all of Los Angeles And I got the people Wow, then we would have been able to do the Suggestions that y'all had we didn't know that it was gonna get so big, Jake, when we picked.

We were doing a small event. So let me ask you, go ahead, Gareth. Well, here's my question. I'd just like to float this out to Jake as a question. Oh, the question's to me. This question's to you. I thought it was gonna be to our guests. Let's say you go, well, I'm questioning something

that happened at the event. Let's say you go to a farewell tree house party and you're excited, you excited, you're like, hey, I'm swinging by. Yeah, I'm fine, yeah. And in the yard, someone has a big pot of Jambalaya. You eating any? Am I drinking?

Yeah, you've played beer pong twice. Yes. Okay. I just wanted to make sure. I don't even eat what's in Jambalaya, but if I'm five beers deep, I probably have it some being like, don't tell anybody. Yeah, I'm having a scoop or two. Scoop or two, I mean a bowl.

So I'm putting in the pinata of the neighbor. Gross. That's a different type of pinata. If you knock down a lady pinata and Jambalaya comes out. Wow. Is that a statement? But back to the party. What's going on with the tree house?

What happened? We understand it was a raging party. Your sister got blackout drunk. Your parents had a blast. The news was there. Did you see Rick Glassman? Yes. So when the news first came out,

I think that was on the Thursday before the party, he was just walking his dog down the street and he stopped to say hello and ask what's going on we had no idea who he was and then we got was unnecessary that just felt like a dig. Bryce he's in the business you don't say that you go he looks familiar. That's like saying you know I went to a concert, it was this band of, we hated all the music, who cares? Yeah, yeah. Just, you know. No, no, he didn't walk up and was like, I'm Rick Blassman.

No, we know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if he did that, that would be really strange behavior. Yeah, but he had to do that. Yeah, he's got a wonderful podcast. Shoes Off podcast. Shoes Off podcast, we've been on it.

Yeah, it's great. It does it in his house, it's a lot of fun. Great show. But keep going. Shoes off podcast shoes off podcast. We've been on it. Yeah, it's great. It's a lot of fun show But keep going so he came up he didn't give you a his IMDB when you met him Then what happened? And he just came up and loved the tree house and great every time after that when whenever we were on the front lawn Or when I would have my coffee on the front porch and I would see him walk by, he would stop and chat for a while. That's nice. And he did come to

the party and I think he had a lot of fun. I'm sure he did. And it was just a chance to go inside the tree house and see what it's all about. He went into the tree house just to confirm? Yes, he did. Okay. That's great. And what's going on with the treehouse now? Where are we at with the city? A bunch of people in our base have been emailing in

and writing in and commenting on the Spotify that you can write to the city. They're trying to put up a last second fight. What's happening? Well, since the party LA Times Daily Mail K-rock they've all been features on us. There was even a news outlet in New Orleans that picked up the story to Every event outside of New Orleans with jambalaya gets at least a pop

Can you imagine the newsroom like I got to do a fucking story about a treehouse jambalaya to Sherman Oaks All right, so Any movement what's happening? How's the city reacting? So there is no movement. My dad went to the city council meeting and it was a bust and so it is scheduled to come down on Friday. So we're crazy. There's most likely not gonna be a stay. You know what I'm gonna tell you about season two so far? And it might've been season one, I'm just not remembering the sadness of it.

But with Mateo the duck and this. Duck one's hard. Duck one's really hard. We still don't have the final update, but the 2025 has just been a tough start. We got Mateo, we got the tree house, and that's everything. You know, we also, we started talking about

all the wins we had so early and we were really feeling on, the bell was getting tired and now this is sad. On Friday, just because I guess our show's becoming a downer now can we film some of that and post it and have that? Maybe we'll have you on again. Maybe we'll have you on post-carriage. Yeah post-destruction. I mean what is that even going to look like? Is your dad just going to take that down now? You gotta hire a service where it's that size. Yeah we, my dad hired us.

Is Rick coming by? And they were going to take it down tomorrow but I think it's supposed to rain so they had to push back till Friday Yeah, it's so sad however Y'all are saying that there's a lot of losses out there for the show But I think this is a win because although we didn't save the tree house I originally called about the party and the party was a hit We had no input on that event. Shut up, Kevin. You took your microphone.

Right. Thank you for trying to make us feel better. Truly, thank you for calling in and sharing the story with us. You know, it's a... And we're sorry about the house. Yeah, it sucks. It sucks. But this is bureaucracy.

Yeah. And congrats on the Jabalaya. It sucks. This is bureaucracy. And congrats on the jubilee. Thank you. Yeah, appreciate you. Thanks for calling in. Keep us posted if you rebuild or anything like that. They can't rebuild. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. We gotta go. Bye, Bryce.

After all that, they can't rebuild a tree. Build it underground. Like a little submarine? Build it at Rick's Okay, thank you so much. Okay. Bye. Thanks Bryce. Take it easy. Bye. See you later. Thanks a bunch We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds if you'd like to be on the show Please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help,

you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers, Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer, Jesse Thurston, editing, mix and master by Chris Fowler. Themed song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike,

animations by Andrew Stralecki, and if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentholds.com. Remember all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help

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