We're Here to Help - 160: Turkey Turkey Turkey & Spying Gary

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

Jake and Gareth help a caller kick some distant relatives off her bowling team. Later, a Kiwi calls in with a nosy jogger problem. Plus, the Ballad of Mrs. Gingerbread goes global.See caller images here!Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And we are back. Yes. Jaky boy. You know what I got, Gareth? I don't think we've texted about this yet. I did a 72 hour fast. Oh, did you? Yes.

How was that? Great. Now, I, we might have talked about how we like a fast, but what, that's a lot. I know. Nothing but water. Nothing but water, 72 hours. How was your sleep? Okay.

How was the first 24? Nightmare. And then after that, start to ease up on you? Day two, pretty weird. Yeah. Day three ended up I was Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now. From hour 65 to 72, I was doing some weird stuff, my man. Okay, I still have more questions. What were the biggest benefit you felt? Okay, I still have more questions. What were the biggest benefit you felt?

Well, the biggest benefit was actually, it's more sad than funny, but I was doing it to try to, I was missing my buddy, Jeff. Oh yeah. And I was like, I was just dying to like get drunk or do something. And I was like, I don't wanna do that. And I was like, I just wanna shake something up

cause I can't stop thinking about him. And then the health stuff, I was like, I just want to shake something up because I can't stop thinking about him. And then the health stuff, I was like, you know what I might do is just see. And Eric Edelstein obviously is like, brother, it brings out the dog in you. It's like you'll feel like you took mushrooms. Yeah, man. He's like, man, I'm telling you, when you get to hour 60, watch out. So did you feel, I mean, that's a very, it's also, while that is a very, I don't wanna say sweet, but it's such an

in your 40s way to party. I just won't eat. By the way, you're totally right. It's like the sad version of like, I'm going to drink a bottle of vodka, my friend's gone. You're like, I'm off food for three days. Well, you know, in the past, when I've lost people in my life, I've always drank. Yeah. Now I know. And you just go like, what's going on? Like, well, I'm really sad. What happened? They were five really weird days. Well, it's also, I went through that a couple years ago

and it was great for the night and then the morning was the worst. But then you got in that same cycle, you're like, well, now I'm just gonna have one to calm this moment down. Yeah, yeah. And at a certain point of life, you're like, I'm turning into Nick Cage from Leaving Las Vegas. No, I know, by the way, legend.

Legendary performance. What was the best? Have you ever worked with him? No. No. That would be the dream. What was your first meal back? Did you play it like safe?

Were you like... Safe. So just kind of some sort of like probiotics. Sour crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did the whole thing. I've been into it. I really want, I'll do, I'll throw in a day fast

every now and then. I really have, you know what I wanna do? This is where we're getting weird. I wanna do the week. It's seven day. Yeah. Why? I hear it's very, there are, and again, this is-

Crazy benefits. Crazy. We're just talking. Yeah, we're not recommending podcast intro We're just talking. Yeah, but I but I thought you were gonna say a darkness retreat I'm not I'm not doing I would do one of those Yeah, I would definitely do one of those but the week is I can't imagine getting through the week because even on the day Even on the day fast that I do you're allowed to have coffee Right. I did I did my one set

You're allowed to have coffee. Right, I did my one sip. Just once, I was telling people about that. It's just, have we aired that? We've aired that intro, yeah. Has anyone, I feel like that got buried in everything. What are you, like has anyone said anything to you about it? I don't think anyone in my world listens to this shit. I know, but even online, like it should be a thing that people are like, what are you like has anyone said anything to you about it? I don't think anyone in my world listens to this shit. I know but even on live like it should be a thing that people are like what are you talking the way you

You just even just now in earnest. I didn't want one sip It's why I think you did a sip a day. It's just the audience for this show They all go. Yeah, did you do a sip a day? Yeah, and what was that? Like That was your only thing that wasn't water was your one sip a day? Yeah I Really enjoyed and I will do it again Seven days seems like what I don't like about it is it could start eating the muscle. Yeah. Well, I mean I don't want it What do we?

No offense, but you and me are different animals man. Yeah, well, I mean, what do we, no offense, but. You and me are different animals, man. Yeah, what do you? You ever seen a chimp without hair? Like, you know what I love? That's me. You know what I love when you watch like. You're a koala with no hair.

When you watch chimp stuff and you see like. The best. Like you've got those like chimps that look like they climb trees all day and then there's the one who looks like you got laid off. And I love when apes go bald By the way hairless apes But you see certain chimps without hair and I saw I mean on the head like they fully are like I lost it around

16 by the way the everything about chimps is the funniest the best We've talked about bubbles michael's michael's jim. Yep, and you've you've told me a wild story about your uh, You were real deep into the story about how how much you wanted to tell the bubble story to the people Uh, well, I mean that's I mean just everybody go on a little google search, but i'll tell you this Michael jackson had a a pet chip named Bubbles, took it on red carpets, fed it sushi, was on private jets, and then, you know.

It happens. That little chip grows up a little bit. A little less cute, gets a little aggressive. Gets a little bitey, right? Gets a little teethy. And all of a sudden, Michael's busy in Japan doing something else So what do you do with a chimp when it gets wild? Well, you put in a sanctuary and

So bubbles was in a sanctuary, but he doesn't want to hang around with a bunch of goddamn chimpanzees He doesn't want to he doesn't want to eat raw veggies. Yeah, homies had the best food in the whole world He was on red carpets. He's a star sushi on a private jet. There's photos of this little maniac in the back of a limousine drinking champagne with Mike Jackson. Now you're giving him a bucket of carrots. Fuck your carrots, man. It's not good.

It's so bad. Who is he gonna hang with? I used to hang out with Elizabeth Taylor, Mike Jackson. Now who am I hanging out with literal chimpanzees? He was like signing to the zookeeper like get Michael Douglas on the phone now Get my agent. I want to talk to my agent. Yeah, you guys have made a huge mistake. You put me with a bunch of animals So he wouldn't socialize. Yeah, there were reports. He was very depressed Nobody was visiting and then he's still currently he found a companion friend He wouldn't socialize. Yeah. There were reports he was very depressed. As one would expect.

Nobody would visit him. And then he's still currently, he found a companion, a friend. He still is alive. Yes, and you wanna know what he does? He's down in Florida. You know what he does with his days? Hangs out with his companion and paints.

It's pretty good. It's a true story. It's crazy. He's a painter. He's a painter. Listen to these words I'm saying. I don't care. He's a painter story. It's crazy. He's a painter. He's a painter. Listen to these words I'm saying. I can't hear it. He's a painter.

Michael Jackson's chimp is a painter in an animal sanctuary in Florida and hangs out with one chimpanzee friend and they don't socialize with the other chimps. It is best case scenario for where things were. Or worst case scenario, because guess who else are painters? People in San Quentin jail.

All right. Well, it took a turn there. Listen, everybody, we appreciate that. Sanctuary, aka. He's in jail. But he's got a buddy. He's got red carpets. He's never done anything wrong.

Yeah, everybody has a buddy. They're called cellies. The paintings are just of like stars of the era just like him with mel gibson george michael with george michael Just him drinking champagne. You know the worst part. He probably thinks michael's still alive. All right anyone that guy that got weird um so we uh, we Everyone telling everyone about the show and go have a Google of bubbles and let me tell you

Jake really wanted to tell this story. We'll just leave it there What's that you really wanted to oh, yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? You wanted to make this movie at one point Yeah, still do yeah, we all want to go further This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. We love Squarespace. My personal website, garethrentals.com, is a Squarespace site so user-friendly, we've

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We love you. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Booking.com. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. Listen, I talk about Booking.com very regularly because I use Booking.com very regularly. I always know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I just went down to Florida for the first time in quite a while.

While I was there, decided to get a place right on the water, used Booking.com, was able to just find a lovely place while I had a show down here. Room, kitchen, the whole thing. Sometimes I do it for hotels. This time I did it for a different spot, like somewhere, like I said, right by the beach, but it is the best. So can't recommend using it enough. You really know what you're getting.

That's why I use it. A lot of times I use the Booking.com app. You're able to see all your options, all the filters. You know the deal. Come on. You know the deal. I don't know why I'm angry at you. No matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for

you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Booking.yeah. And then Rob, I need you to hide your face so I just see Gareth. You got it. Wow. Thank you. That's what I'm used to.

That's so cute. It's a different thing. Shall we? Do you want me to? I'll start us off. Yeah. That's what I'm used to. That's so cute. That's sweet. Um, it's a different thing. Um, shall we? Do you want me to? I'll start us. Is the caller here, Rob? Yeah, yeah, they're here.

Hello? Hello? Oh, you are here. Yeah, there you are, buddy. Hey. Hey, how long have you been here? What have you been doing? Just eavesdropping?

Yeah. No, I've just been waiting my turn. What did you hear? That's cool. What did you hear? I heard nothing. Nothing. Any of the peshy talk?

No. Peshy. Any of the asking Rob to take his face off so I could just see Gareth on the Zoom? I did hear that. I will say I did hear that. Gareth saying that was cute or what'd you say? Yeah, it's sweet.

It's nice. Well, I literally just look at you these whole, I'm used to it now. And then with Rob there too, my eyes were going to two places. There was one, at the very beginning, we had, Jake was like, let's see him. Let's see what that's like.

And we had the caller on Zoom, and it was the fucking weirdest experience ever because we were watching the person like process our insanity We were like we were too. Yeah Felt like a job interview no after about 350 these calls. We got a system would stick to it. Yeah, could we get your name, please? Yeah, my name is Hannah. Hey, Hannah. How you doing? I'm doing great. How are you guys? Good thing pretty good. We're just starting Hannah where uh How are you guys? Good, thanks. Pretty good. We're just starting. Hannah, where are you calling from? I'm calling from upstate New York.

Nice. Nice. Gareth? Whereabouts, please? I'm going to hold back. Address now, please. To the rest. Right now.

But zone. Like zone. You near like Buffalo or you near like Albany? Closer to Buffalo. Okay. Okay, great great What's your favorite meal? Favorite meal I'm a big spaghetti gal spaghetti meatballs My number one. Yeah, I would say Steve would also say

I'm a spaghetti girl. I'm a Steve Berg would also say, I'm a spaghetti girl. I'm a big spaghetti girl. Steve Berg is a big spaghetti girl. So Hannah, a spaghetti girl from near Buffalo. Should we just get into this, Hannah? Let's do it. What's your problem today? And we're gonna try our hardest to help you.

Okay, awesome. So about two years ago, my husband and I moved to a small town and we didn't really know anybody. So we joined a bowling league. And then last year, we bowled with a really lovely older couple and we had a blast. And you know, we did pretty well in the league and we made friends with some of the people who worked there at the bowling alley and just met a lot of people.

So it was great. And then this season, that older couple wanted to bowl with some of their friends from church, which totally get loved out for them. So we needed to find some new partners, obviously. And we asked my husband's older relative and his wife who live in the same town as us to bowl with us because we thought that they would be a safe choice. And pretty immediately we realized that that was a huge mistake. And they've been a disaster for pretty much the whole season. They have gotten so drunk that we had to forfeit a game.

Oh, wow. Yeah. They also got so drunk that they started making out on the benches inside the bowling alley. They pick fights with other teams. Everyone hates them. They sneak in vodka nips every week to try to save money on drinks. They shift the staff on tips. Everyone hates them. Oh, they don't tip.

So they're not just drunks. They're the worst. Yeah. Yeah, they're the worst They're not like great drunks. No, they're not taking people. No fights. They're making yeah, yeah Yeah halfway through I was like, do we like them? Well, we hate them It definitely doesn't help you from a bowling standpoint But yeah, like, you know, you could be dealing with some people who are like enjoyable drunks. Yeah, but they're belligerent Yeah, and so these areigerent. Yeah, they're so. And so these are your husband's sisters, you said?

No, so it's my husband's mom's second cousin. So like kind of a random connection, but still family. Yeah, but kind of. You went older again. Why, just real quick, why are you going so old? You were dealing with old people. Did you think like, oh, did these people like to bowl? Did you ask that? Yeah, no, they were pretty much we were just like scrambling to find some people and we still don't like know a ton of people in town who like have random Thursday night availability. So we

just kind of on a whim, we're like, they seem like a safe choice. We had hung out with them a couple of times for dinner previously, and they seemed really normal. And now we've gotten ourselves into this situation where they suck. And they've already started mentioning bowling again with us next year. We want to find a way to either make them not want to bowl with us next year. We want to find a way to like, either make them not wantable with us next season or just like kick them out or replace them without causing like a stir in the family, like no family drama. Yeah, understood.

So you're already basically circling it and you're doing a great job of it. But just for the fun of the show, what is the specific question? Yeah, so the question is, how can we make sure that we don't have to bowl with them next year without causing a huge family risk? Okay. I think this is something we can help with, Gareth. Oh, absolutely.

I mean- This doesn't feel too hard. Let me ask one question- Wear a diaper. Wear a diaper? Go bowling in a diaper let it get dirty. That's not what you were gonna say Gareth? What? Literally say what you were gonna say I thought we were gonna finish each other's sentences. You go man. No no no no no no buddy buddy buddy buddy. You go. Hold on Hannah give me a second here. What's the diaper pitch here? You're saying wear a diaper because. You go. Hold on Hannah. Give me a second here. What's what's the diaper pitch here? You're saying where a diaper because no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Jake. You don't know how we were saying the same thing

He did the eye contact thing Jake This would be a good one to actually have Hannah's video cuz I would love to see her face when you said that what what? I'll tell you what I would never want to bowl next to as an adult with a dirty dog. Okay, there we go. Agree or disagree? I agree, but maybe we don't need to go there yet. I don't think we're there yet, but I like it. Let's start at the beginning. Floor is yours. It's just a great. It's a great place. No, no, no, no. We can end there. There's a way. There's this. We're going to get a bell ring. I completely agree. It's just how crazy Hannah wants to get.

Well, let me me let me just But Hannah you're gonna win here. You just have to drive the train. We're getting you off of this But you want Hannah's promise you want Hannah to split her pants. I promise you this is Endless Probably not only because like I know a lot of other people in the league and at the bowling alley and I want to like You say hey Thursday, I'm pooping Okay, he's with you, okay, so let's get rid of the diaper pitch. I love it. I like that.

I like where we're starting. That's the, we're dropping something crazy there. Now we're gonna go back and we're gonna start building it small, but I wanted to know, this might've been a five minute call. You might've said, let's do it. We said, give us a follow up, send us a photo.

That's great, we'll both poop our pants. We don't even need the diapers. We're cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Say that again, my man. Let's party. Now, since these people don't even need the diapers. We're cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Say that again, my man. Let's party. Now, since these people don't bowl, are they going to be, are they gonna wanna like go back to this bowling alley?

Are they, if you cut them loose, are they even gonna know that you're, like, could you say to them, we're just not gonna do it next year, and then you pick up different partners? Are they going to know that? Dangerous, dangerous. It is a little bit.

So we've talked about doing that. The only thing is that they sometimes go to the bowling alley randomly to like play pool and like hang out. Like the bowling alley has pretty good food. Sometimes they'll just go there for like a meal, sit at the bar. And so I'm just worried that they're going to come in on league night and be like, what are you doing here?

But let's put that on league night and be like, what are you doing here? But let's let's put that on let's put that on the shelf for a second because we know where that could end, right? Okay Yeah. Now, let me ask you a quick question We all know all of our listeners are big bowling fans myself included We all know that the best thing you could do is hit get a 300 turkey turkey turkey ten times 13 with the 10th frame Gareth has never heard turkey turkey 100 turkey, turkey, turkey, 10 times, 13 with the 10th frame. Gareth has never heard turkey, turkey, turkey. That's when you hit three.

Oh, I have heard of turkey. 300, perfect game. Do you spin? Can I ask you this, sir? Do you spin? Of course I spin. Well, I spin too. We're from the Midwest.

Don't you dare bring that to me. I used to walk to Brown Deer Lanes. Are you okay? And buy, I'm fine. So. I'm fine. Here's my question to you, Hannah. Yeah.

What do you bowl? I will say last night I got a turkey. Ah, you got turkey, that's three strikes in a row. Yeah, I'm pretty inconsistent. Jake. So like the highs are high, but the loads are pretty low. But Hannah, what are we talking? Like are you a 150 player, you a 180,

you're walking around at 210? No, probably closer to 150. Okay, and what is your husband walk around at? He's a little higher probably like 170 180. Okay, and what is this older weird second cousins? Whatever? What are they ball it? How about the guy first? Depends on the level of intoxication when they're on their a game. He can bowl probably like a 130 140 Life is like typically trying to break a hundred. Okay, so they're dog shit. So that's where I was gonna This is what I was hoping to hear

I think there's another thing you say. Hey, we love balling with you guys. You guys are a lot of fun. We are Looking to win the thing next year. so we're gonna try to level up. And it's not personal. It's... That could work, yeah. They're like, look, you go like, I just bowled a turkey, not to brag. That's when you get three in a row, it's called turkey, turkey, turkey. Are you flexing? Are you?

I walk. Yeah. Me? No, not you. You're fine. Jake. Jake keeps saying turkey, turkey, turkey. Because I've done it before.

Yeah, I've done it before too. What's your highest number? Are we about to go to a bowling alley and compete against each other all afternoon? I'll go anytime, buddy. Who are the two hot floor hockey guys? Gareth and Jake. What's your BFF? Who are the two off-floor hockey guys? Gareth and Jake. What's your PFF, you geek?

So our call would be, we just want to both admit we're average at bowling, but the other guys got to admit he's also average. I mean, it would be so great when neither of us breaks 100. And then we both go, I'm really not good at spinning, it's hard. And it hurts my thumb. Well by the way, every time I, like when I get back into it, it's just gutters and I'm like, if it only got, it just was so close. It's so frustrating. But then I get, I get three great shots today when my like back leg goes up perfectly.

Oh the leg is key. And then I always do the hacky thing. Who do you think you are? the best the best beat Weber Beat Weber so back to you Hannah. I think there's a move that you could say hey guys just to let you know again This is not personal. We love playing with you We love that you sneak in booze in your utter trash and you don't tip the waitresses and you start fights all of that We absolutely love but Next year we've there's been some talk about the league getting a little bit more competitive.

So of course you guys could join, we would never kick you out, but we're looking for, we're gonna try to level up and not even do it with like friends next year. We wanna try to find people in the 200s to see if we can go up a tier. So that's just what we're gonna do. But again, not personal, it's not cause you're trash

and you don't tip the waitresses and you're alcoholics and you make out on the court and it's creeping Everybody out. It's simple because it's simply because Donna you can't break a hundred deer And by the way, my husband Andy pooped his pants tonight It's called a turkey And that's a flex Hannah, what do you think of that idea? Just a, it's simply about the numbers. What do you get in that zone? If I may add a little lie to it, if we want Jake,

you could say you were already approached by another couple who are really good. And so you could just have that in the chamber and say, look, we wanna win this fucking thing. They're better bowlers, no offense. It's for a guy who's not a swinger, it's very similar to the swinger community. If you swing with a group and then new hot swingers come up, I'm sure you got to upgrade.

Absolutely. Gareth, is that true? Well, I mean, it depends. Look, we're all, I mean, wait, what? Ooh, on the fake turn. You didn't even fully sell it. I could have gone longer. You could have gone longer. You could have gone harder. You're right even fully sell it. I could have gone longer. You could have gone longer. You could have gone harder. You're right. You're right. You're right.

I could have gone for it. That's fair. What do you think about the new couple, Hannah? And is there a new couple you could reach out to? Is there somebody that you could say, hey, any chance you want to pair up next year? And then just say to them, hey, sorry, we're playing with, you know, you know, Patrick and Monica. we're playing with, you know, Patrick and Monica, they're 200 bowlers, whatever. I think that could definitely work.

And I love Gareth's spin of having it be like, they approached us. There is another couple who has this season had trouble spilling their team. They can't consistently get people there every week. And we're pretty friendly with them. So I feel like in the off season, we could coordinate with them and put together a team and then maybe even offer up to the cousins that like, hey, if we ever need alternates, like we'll keep you guys in mind for that way. It doesn't feel like we're sniffing them,

but like obviously we'll never. But you could also say, we're gonna need them and they're gonna need them. They've said that like they miss a lot. So would you guys be down to be the alts if we ever need it? And they'll go like, sure, we don't care. We're just looking to drink vodka and fight each other

and maybe have some make-out sessions. And she'll go, I've never even got past 100. Yeah, and then you also go. I know, I do it, I bowl to turkey. My, we get it, that's three strikes. And my husband Andy has pooped his diaper. But I wouldn't do the diaper technique with the new team. I would, I'd keep it going.

Name a situation that's not helping. Dinner. Wrong. Right. No, I'm right. But what do you think of that, Hannah? Apple bowling desserts. I think... It smells like shit in here.

I'm trying to eat some ice cream. Andy pooped. What happened? Andy pooped. He's wearing diapers. What does that mean, Andy pooped? He has a diaper. Hold on.

I'm trying to eat this Oreo cookie cake thing. It smells like... Andy, it smells like you sat on shit. Yeah, Andy did. He has a dog for a reason. Hold on, I'm trying to eat this Oreo cookie cake thing. I understand. It smells like, Andy, it smells like you sat on shit. Yeah, Andy did. But remember, he got a turkey. What does that mean? You shit in your pants, buddy? Yeah, three times. Back to back to back. New turkey, turkey, turkey. New turkey, turkey, turkey.

I think where we're leaning towards is this idea of a new couple that you don't reveal to mom's cousin until the last minute and you guys can be an alternate. Where are you at on that? Yeah, I feel like they can't really argue with it if we position it as like, oh, we actually wanna like win some money and be in the top like quarter of the league. Oh, the winners get money? Oh yeah. Yeah.

You have to pay to join, be in the league and then winners win? Yeah. Great. So there to pay to join, be in the league, and then winners win? Yeah. Great. So there you go. Oh, and then it's very clean. You go like, they came to us and said, let's see if we can win this thing. And I think it's worth trying.

I would get them in soon. So I would have that plan locked in place soon so that you could tell the other couple pretty quickly after the season's over, you know, next year it's not happening, give them time if they wanna try to join the league. By the way, which would be best case scenario, it would be great to have a shit show there

just to be like, still around, but they're just not on your team. And what do you think about in the meantime, to ensure that there's not drama later? Because look, I think we got a game plan that's going to win. But as we all know, the best way to get out of a relationship you want to get out of is to have them break up with you. There's also a play that we can make it so they dump you. Like the diaper thing?

Like the diaper thing? Like the diaper thing. But also like the, you start, you decide you're trying to do dry April so you can't be around alcohol. Oh, okay. So if they're drinking, go like, hey guys, it's really triggering for me. I can't be around alcohol. And they go like, oh, she's the worst. You go, sorry, I'm just doing this weird thing.

And they're like, hey, could you guys not swear? I'm trying to do no swear spring. Hey, can you guys crap your diaper? We're doing crap our diaper December If you did all that with a dirty diaper, I'm quitting I'm like I'm having a fucking beer. I'm bowling. You know, we smell like look look so Hannah What are you thinking? Hannah, we talked past the close of this one. Where are you at? I don't think I'm probably gonna do anything

that makes myself smell bad. Okay. To the point where other people don't wanna be around me. Okay, that's fair. That's a choice. That's fine. I do like the idea.

And I feel like I have, both of us have been like trying to like keep some distance and like not be as fun so that they won't want to like hang out with us as much. Okay, this is mom's second cousin. Yeah, yeah. Okay. But I like the idea of maybe being like the alcohol thing of like dry April or something.

You know what you could also do in terms of that? You and your husband can be in a fake fight that's really passive aggressive and just ruin the vibe. Ooh. Because whenever you're around other people when they're fighting, it's so lame. What we could do, what we could do is if you wanted, I like what we have, but if you wanted off of that, you could, when you lose the next game or like the next matchup, have you or your husband get a little pissy storm out something like that then you say the reason why we can't do it with you guys anymore is because Andy who didn't crap his pants in a diaper he's taking it real seriously so next year I really want to level up so that I kind of can take this

competitive aspect that I don't love about him out of the equation a little bit more. But then Hannah, if you do that, which I think is a smart play, you set it up and that's after each, no, here's what you do. After each one of your guys' shots that's not a strike or a spare, get mad at each other. Yeah. Have him just, have him be a little tantrum-y. But don't get mad at them. Yeah, no. This is between you guys. You just go like, you get an eight

and have him go like, come on, girl! It was right there! And then go, come on! And then when the drunk lady, the other one goes, I got an 83, she's like, shit, Hannah's getting yelled at for a 160 and she's yelling at, what are we calling him, Chad? Is your partner Chad?

We've been calling him Andy. I think you guys have been calling him Andy. Andy, did we just make up Andy? Yeah. You did, but let's go with it. Right, right, right, did you create that, Gareth? I believe so. Okay, so then all of a sudden Andy gets a strike,

he gets a strike, and his third one, you go, you didn't even get a turkey? Okay, so Hannah, what do you think about that? How one, you go, you didn't even get a turkey. Okay, so Hannah, what do you think about that? How do you feel about, we've kind of thrown a lot at you. What do you think is your clear path? What are you going to take? What are you going to leave?

Okay, right now I'm thinking I love the last pitch because it sets the stage that we care more about the score than we initially let on and then they do. And that we're doing worse this year than we did last year and that's clearly getting to us. I think that sets the stage really nicely for us to then be a couple weeks after the league ends to send them a message saying, hey, we got approached by this other couple that is really good and they want us to join their team next year and we really want to like try to be at the top of the league. And if there are ever a need for alternates, like we would

love to have you guys on the team. This is clean. Yeah, I like that. I think you two maybe want to rehearse a little bit with the About to say you want to see some Hannah pretend. I'm Andy Okay, and I want you to go for it here. It's the seventh frame. I'm at about a 172 I Do the ball near the face that my form is good. I walk up. I go a little bit from left to right I do the perfect little banana. I throw I got spin, but I'm a little bit to the right, seven fall. Your reaction. My reaction is...

No, no, don't tell me about it. Okay. No, no, no. He just did it. I just... We're doing it live. Okay. We're doing it live. So now I just got the seven. I'm going to pick up the spare I do the perfect little banana. I throw I only knocked down two. There's one remaining I missed

What are you doing? I need you to get your head in the game We do it again with a little bit of heat, please Pretend we're not in a library pretend. We're in a bowling alley. Okay. Okay, so I just got to finish. Oh a bowling alley. Okay. Okay. So I just got to... Oh my god. What are you doing? That's like the fifth frame in a row that you haven't closed. All right. I'm doing the best I can. All right. Okay. Well, I need you to do better. All right. I missed, Hannah. I can't deal with this. I need you to step it up for these last frames. We're going to be losing to this other team. Hey, I... Okay. Pretty this. I need you to step it up for these last frames. We're gonna be losing to this other team. Hey, I- I-

Okay, pretty good. I'm the- I'm the lane over. I crapped my diaper! You know, let me give you one more piece of advice, because we're getting really good here. I want less words, and I want a firework of anger, and then a quick apology. Oh, okay. Okay.

Give me a 10 from the start and then catch yourself. Okay. And I got three up there. I throw it. Two go, damn it! Oh my God, not again! That's a seven. A seven? Let's see what a 10 looks like. I want you out of your goddamn cup for it. I don't know if I can get to a 10.

You can't! Okay and two go down. What the hell is your problem Andy? Hold on, Hannah! I'm sorry. You know what, if I was a drunk next year you know how to go, she's fine. I'm playing with her next year. You're yelling to get them out of here. But I thought we were going passive aggressive. We probably are. This is probably just for the show. Okay.

But now we're in a hole I created. I'm trying to get out. Okay. Okay. Let's end it. But you keep doing it. Six out of ten. I'm sorry. Give me a goddamn ten. Okay.

Okay. Two pins go down. Damn it. Oh my God, Andy. What are you doing? Hit the goddamn ten. Hannah! Yell fuck you, Andy.

Fuck you, Andy. Okay, now I want your mad is fuck you and go two pins go down fuck you You do that and then apologize Every time he misses a crazy like a crow fuck you. Sorry It's like having your therapist week like about his own stuff You do that that's a winning for I love it Can I add one thing and then we'll get out Hannah show up to the next game with one of those bowling gloves on? Yes, oh, okay. I can do that and then

Yeah, like you're crazy now before we go to take us out. Could you yell that fuck you one more time at the same time? Yes Fuck you. That's really good. Actually. All right, Hannah. Let us know how it goes Great, that's really good actually. Alright Hannah, let us know how it goes. We're on your side. It's gonna be great. And again, if you gotta go nuclear, crap a diaper on your pants.

We're pretty good, dude. Alright, thank you Hannah. Bye guys. Holy shit. Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Bez Be Hello. Hello. How are you? Good, how are you? Good, thank you. Can we get your name, where in England you're calling from, and approximate age, and then we'll get into the problem. My name is Sarah. I'm actually New Zealander.

I'm calling from New Zealand. Oh, you're Kiwi Joe. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth.

I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry about Gareth. I'm sorry name is Sarah. I'm actually New Zealander. I'm calling from New Zealand.

I'll use Kiwi, Jake. I'm sorry about that. Sorry about Gareth. Sorry. He's back with accents. He said you. So Sarah. We are.

I know, we're getting tired. We'll pull it today. We can't be too long. No, no, it's okay. All right, sorry. Sarah, where in New Zealand are you? I'm in Auckland. Oh, beautiful. And what international school did Zealand are you? I'm in Auckland. Oh beautiful

And what international school did you go to? Jake stop it. What? Just get into it Sarah. Hurry Okay All right, I don't want my back Please shut your problem and don't stop talking no matter what you're here. Okay my problem Every morning, I sit in my bed and eat my breakfast. Sit in your bed. I have quite a big window that's like I'm on the road, like a roadside.

And quite a big window. And there's a man that runs past with his dog, I'd say around 730 in the morning every day and just look straight in and every time like I can sense him coming and so I look and then of course we both just lock eyes every day and it's driving me insane as to why he keeps running by and looking in and doesn't think, oh, I probably should not do that and go on the other side of the road. And that is my problem because I also see him sometimes at the dog park and he never stops, he's always running.

So I've never been able to like, fire the dogs. I've never been able to kind of like, let my dog meet his dog just to get a sense of them. Like, yeah. What exactly is your issue with it? Is it that he's running or that he's looking in or you're just puzzled by all of his behavior? I just don't know why he's looking in. Okay, so looking in is the issue.

Sarah, I just got to get clear on this. I'm a little confused. A guy, a peeping Tom looks in your window every day? Well, yeah, I mean I I've not called him a peeping Tom, but yes, he they call him spy and Gary's there. Spying sounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a lucky Luke. What room are you?

What room are we going in? Are we talking like living room? Bedroom? I'm in my bed. Yeah, I'm in my bed and I'm looking out the window and I obviously like I could close it but I want the morning light. But hold on, we're talking about the morning light. I'm in my bedroom.

I'm in my bedroom. I'm in my bedroom. I'm in my bedroom. I'm in my bedroom. I'm in my bedroom. I'm in my bedroom. I'm in my bedroom. I'm in my bed. Yeah, I'm in my bed and I'm looking out the window and I obviously like I could close it But I want the morning light. But hold on we're talking about a Looking Luke looking in your window every morning one quick thing. We don't want to have to close it. We don't want blouts Yeah, I got your window. I agree I think our solve is you I mean you're calling the show because you don't want to do that so which I understand

I mean, it's your, yeah. And so is there any feeling of unsafety? Who is this guy? What's your vibe with this guy? Well, so I used to have a flatmate who lived here and she would sit outside in the morning to have her breakfast. And I thought he was like flirting with her

because she'd always be like, he look. You know, and so I thought. So he's thinking her because she'd always be like, he look. You know? And so I thought, oh. So he's thinking he's creating a meet-cute. Yeah, but then I was like, well, she's gone now. So I'm like, stop looking in. A couple questions. What is the approximate age of this man? I'm going to say late 40s.

Oh, so he's an older guy like Gareth. No, he's not. Jake, stop it. You sound crazy. Everybody thinks you do. Read everybody thinks you do read the emails So you know I can't I don't know the password okay late 40s What time of day is this happening like I you said is it morning? Yeah, it's like 730 almost every morning early in the morning. Okay. Yeah, it's weird. I got my first pitch. Oh

All right, go you think it's weird. I got my first pitch. Oof, all right, go. You think it's too early? No, I don't. Well, the look when he's looking, I know this feeling of like, just looking. There's a difference between looking and leering. Sometimes you do a look because there's this. Careful, buddy. I say this as a friend.

That attack cut all this. I think he could just be looking over because there's like... Every morning in the same window of a woman in her bed. I don't... I agree. He's ret... I agree. Okay. Just stop, my man. Love you, brother. Love you and care about your future, brother. Care about your future, brother. Care about your career, brother.

Not worth it. It's just a stupid podcast, brother. You got a big career ahead of you. You got a great life, brother. So here's my first pitch. It's in two parts. One is a sign that says, what are you looking at? And two is an air horn

and when he looks you blast the air horn and It makes him jump and it's basically just getting him out of this routine where he goes like fuck I looked in there and she blew an air horn What the hell is that? Or a sign that says stop staring. Yes. I'm talking to you. Oh Good start. Do I do I have the sign up this old all day? Well, I just know no, it's just you know the time he's coming in the side goes up at 725 It goes once you wake up in 35

Once you wake up in 35 Once you wake up Put my sign out and you go like this. Hey pal stop leering You know, this is a great job. Yes going this leering and looking is the same thing Dude I fucking lost my shit just now That's a great start and I think anybody relates to a looking leering debate. I mean it's age old No, I love you, but I love you back buddy This is a great start What we could do instead of because that's obviously a very bold

moves But you're also not talking to anyone specific, Gareth. I know, but we could also have a little more fun with it. Like, we could be setting little scenes that make him not want, like, what if you just wore a Jason mask and when he looks over at that time, you have a Jason mask on and you sort of just look out and maybe you build off that where there's just a couple things that... By the way, even what if it's not creepy? You're creating...

There's another thing here you could create a weird... Do you have other roommates? No, just a dog. Okay. We could create a storyline that like he's putting together a mystery, but the problem with this is we're just having him look more. It's a slippery slope because we don't want to create more intrigue. Yes.

Because then he could be leering and there's a huge there's a chasm of difference. Stop! Okay. Um, but it might be good to start with a Jason mask just to see if you could creep him out a little and then maybe maybe we move to a sign or something like that that just makes him feel weird about what's going there. or something like that that just makes him feel weird about what's going there. I think what we wanna do is make it so that he's like,

I don't wanna. I don't wanna do that anymore. I don't want her to know about me looking. Yes. Yeah. So you've got some early pitches, Sarah. Where are you at? Let's hear from you.

I don't think I'm gonna do the air horn because I don't want any neighbors to them chicken every morning while I'm doing that. But I do like the sign and I worry about the mask. I think I don't want to become the weirder. Agreed. Okay. I don't want to be like.

What are you thinking of that sign? What are you thinking of it sign? What are you thinking of it saying? What's the intention? Just kind of stream of conscious ramble a little bit. So he's always running with the dog and he's always wearing a blue t-shirt. So I could pinpoint him and say, hey, blue t-shirt, what you looking at?

That's also crazy. That's crazy. He always has on a blue t-shirt? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The same one? I think so. Pretty close.

He's always sweaty by the time he gets to my house. He must live far away. Yeah. Okay, so now question for you, Sarah. Do you want to fully pinpoint him? I mean, I'm not against it or Like the humor of it Yes, I hear I hear cuz one of the things I like is we're trying to just get him to stop

Yeah, if it's very specific him then he's gonna feel like should I do some sort of response? Is this a game? I think if it's cutesy or like funny, I think that's intriguing. He's like, oh, she's playing the game. And then he might do a sign that says like, hey, you underpants and t-shirt while I yearn for yours. So I don't want to do it. I like the idea that we don't think he lives right in your neighborhood, so you're not going to go walk and get a coffee and see him.

I would go for it. I would just be like, hey joggers, don't look in. I'm not an aquarium. Okay. I like joggers because that creates... How about this? I don't want to be that way to sign it. Stop staring Yeah, not a zoo. Don't look in Yeah

Okay, but you're only putting it to him Yeah, well, maybe just a sign. It says like Stop looking just generic. Yeah, and then I don't know I'll tell you why I don't like that because it's almost like an art project I said stop looking so that I should look Yeah It's also it's just kind of weird. It's like a weird like I kind of understand that It's just weird to have a window to the street in your bedroom. What do you got? How about a sign because what I don't want it to be too open for everybody

What about? How about a sign because what I don't want it to be too open for everybody what about Walk your ugly dog elsewhere Stop staring see I want it to be more for maybe this is a problem with all joggers And I want him to be like oh, okay. What about this? What the hell are you staring at, pervert? That's pretty good. Because if I was walking by and every day I looked in a window and then I saw that sign, I would get an instant stomach ache and go like, who's the pervert?

I'm not the pervert. Then you're going, I'll never look there again. Like, you go right into panic mode. I don't want to be a fucking pervert. Then you go, what am I looking at? Why am I looking in that woman's wind? What is happening? Well, you know what we could also do?

We could come up with like three or four that you're just rotating. Like that could be one of them. Like we could have like stop looking in pervert, just like it's not an aquarium, don't stare. Like something like that. We could just have a few that you rotate and you just put up in the morning as soon as you get up I think that's right and after like a week or so you can just kind of see if there's some kind of difference made

Yes, sir. How you feeling about this? I think I think it works. I'm not gonna call him a pivot Okay, I think if I antagonize Yeah, I just think of, but I think a sign that's like, you know, what are you looking at? I can't even if I rotate it every day, is that, oh, what's the next message gonna say? And keep looking at it. I think it will.

I think there's one sign. So let's go with one. One sign, okay. What would be the dream sign, Sarah? You like zoo, you like aquarium? Was that a street you wanna walk down or no? Yeah, I think, yeah, I think it's not an aquarium, stop looking or something like that.

Can you read, what did you say about the prayer? There's something about, here's what we don't want. We don't want him to stop and have to read the sign. Right, sure. And look more. How about a big sign that just says, looking into random people's bedrooms is illegal. Or is weird, because it's not illegal. It's not illegal.

I mean, we don't know the law over there. It's a illegal. I'm well, we don't know the law over there. Oh, it's a very strange relation Kind of kind of specific but not pointed at like keep running stop looking Yeah, yes. Love that Yep, keep running stop looking is perfect. Great Okay, because then you're saying to all the runners you guys are being weird. I like that. I like it Okay, that would change my habit. Yes, and it's quick too You know, it's perfect punchy

Nat attack. What do you think? My only concern is that it has to be big it has to be big enough that he's not coming closer to the window That's my concern. Yeah, that's right. Big. That's why I like few words. It's very quick. Yeah, let's go big. He can't come up to my house unless he... You agree. We don't want him closer. But I will make it big. It's a big window. Bigger the better. You know what you could do to make it really big on that first day? For one day, let it fill the whole window. Yeah, okay.

I can do that. It's just a really big thing. Yeah. Yep. And you told him, what time does he come by your house every day? You said it's the same time. It's about 7.30 in the morning.

Which is now. Did he come by it? Which is around now. I haven't seen him now. I'm watching. like the creek. Interesting. Just give him the finger. I think this is gonna work, are you gonna do it?

I'm gonna do it, yeah. Take a picture, send us a picture of the sign, let's have a look. I think it's great. I do too. Sarah, are you happy, are you gonna do it? I'm happy, yeah, I'm gonna do it. Thank you for calling in.

Thank you. Thank you for calling. Please follow our. Okay, thanks'm gonna do it. Thank you for calling in. Thank you for calling. Please follow our... Okay, thanks. Alright. Bye. Bye. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Hero Bread.

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bringing it to barbecues for hot dogs or veggie hot dogs for me. Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to hero.co and use code help at checkout. That's help at h-e-r-o dot c-o. Hero dot c-o. Hero Bread! Hello. Hi. Hi. Welcome to the show. Thanks. We're here to help in case you weren't sure. You're on with Jake. You're on with Gareth. Can we get your name, approximate age, where you're calling from, and your first concert,

please? And my first concert. So my name is Rachel. My approximate age is 41 Where we're calling from Is edinburgh at the moment, but we're from south africa and first concert I think was actually

A christian concert dc talk Oh, we love dc talk here. We're big fans of dc Talk. What's your favorite album from DC Talk, Gareth? Oh, about Jesus Freak? Oh, she could, yeah. That's what I was going to say. Not everything for me, but it's awesome that we have that album. And then Gareth, what's your favorite song from Jesus Freak? Not obviously Jesus Freak. What's another one you really love? Nailin' It.

Now, Rachel... Tidal! Now, Rachel, so you are South African. Jake was starting to do his international school bit because he assumed that you were English sort of. But Jake, the South African accent is very complicated. So you haven't... Don't I know it?

I spent some time in Namibia, which is near South Africa. You haven't. You haven't. It is. Yes, I... What's the capital of South Africa. That's not even. You haven't. You haven't. It is. Yes, I. What's the capital of South Africa? What the fuck, is this geography class? Well, I mean, you spent some time there.

You think you don't. I know my people, I don't study a map. You think you know one of the three capitals. You think you know one of the three, hold on. Rachel. Rachel, don't jump in. Jake, you don't know one of the three capitals, Jake. Don't jump in, Rachel.

All right, what are the capitals? I mean, one of the very faces. I got this, Rachel, Cape Town, Victoria, Blo the three capitals. Don't you have Rachel? What are the capitals? I? Mean I got this Rachel Cape Town Rachel Bloom Fonte That is correct He's so confident right now. It's disgusting. I've never I've never seemed smarter in my life. Okay, Rachel What what can we help you with what's going on? So this is actually a little bit of a feedback. So my husband and I got married two weeks ago. And three days before our wedding, we were working out in our gym.

I was on the treadmill and he was lifting weights to get 12. And he was listening. He was listening to, we're here to Help because we listen often. So he was busy lifting and he just burst out laughing. And he turned to me and he said, I think we should re-look at our first dance song. So he said, you have to listen to the latest episode. So I obviously listened because I'm a good wife

and I listen to my husband. And I heard the ballad of Mrs. Gingerbread. So he said, he said, it would be absolutely ridiculous. We can't do that. So I was like, okay, sure. Possibly not. Got into the car, took my kids to school. He took his kids to school. he took his kids to school.

And on the way to school, I played the song for my kids. So, and then I said to them, guys, what do you think of me changing up the sort of songs for the wedding? And they were obviously on board because children. So on the way back from school, I phoned the DJ and I said, I've got an idea. I'm sorry to do this two days before the wedding, but can we include this as the second song where the kids will count them out and dance with us?

And I said, please don't tell Brandon because he doesn't know. So then I said- Wow, Brandon's the fiance, the now husband. Brandon's the fiance, now husband, yes. Smart to not tell him. Exactly. This is, it. Smart to not tell him. Exactly. It's good to surprise people every once in a while.

And you probably say no. Yeah, keep that. Right, keep going, Rachel, keep going, keep going. So, we got home and later that afternoon I told his kids, because I had a little family meeting minus Brandon. So told his kids this is my plan and they said, oh, we've heard the song. Dad played it to us in the car on the way to school this morning. So that was just my confirmation that I had done the right thing. Wow. I mean. So then what happens?

So then we have the wedding two days later and we're all sitting at our table. It was family and friends. It was absolutely the most amazing day. And first dance comes up. So we go up and we start dancing. And I said to the kids in front of him just before, guys, remember you have to come up as soon as the second song starts playing. And he looked at me and said, what is the second song?

And I said, you'll see. So then for the whole first dance, he had actually no idea. What is the first song? Good question. So the first song was by a South African artist, but it's quite, I can't even remember the name. Okay, very important to you. You guess what song you remember the name to,

the second one. Yeah, the first song is pretty sentimental. Is it a slow dance? Is it more DC talk? No, definitely not DC talk. We've grown out of that phase. So it's a nice slow dance that means something to you two. Yes, slow dance.

You guys are looking at each other's eyes. I can't believe we found each other life is beautiful. That's yeah Well found each other again because we dated in high school. So 20 years later we started dating again That happened to my buddy bill who I was just in Portland with Facebook and social media makes that a lot more possible than it used to be Facebook and social media makes that a lot more possible than it used to be. It does. Because you follow someone and then you're like, oh yeah, I remember this. Then you slide into the DMs.

Then the next thing you know you're dancing to a cat song. Yeah. The next thing you know you're talking to... It's the story as cold as time. Yeah. I mean, we've heard it a thousand times. You do the first song, it's a hit. You guys are looking at each other in your eyes.

You're remembering what it was like as high school loves, now a grownup loves. Then take us through the moment before you decide to put, I think the name of the song is, I Love You Mrs. Gingerbread. Yeah, yeah, the ballad of Mrs. Gingerbread. The ballad of Mrs. Gingerbread. The ballad of Mrs. Gingerbread.

Unbelievable. Incredible. So we're looking into each other's eyes. It's incredibly romantic. And then the first chords start playing. And he looks at me, wide-eyed. And then I just burst out laughing. And he said afterwards, he took a couple of seconds to recognize what it was because he had no idea

what was coming. And then he realized, and then he actually ran off the dance floor after the kids came up. So the kids came up, danced with us. And then he thought, I have to film this. So he didn't realize I had already spoken to about five guests to say, please film this particular moment. You two are meant for each other. Yeah, it's a good match. Yes, yes we are. But it was amazing.

About how many people were at this wedding? There were 45 people. Okay, wonderful. And then, you know, we just did an interview, Gareth and I did, for Rolling Stone. And one of the things they said, the woman said, that she likes the show is the world building. I think this is the epitome of the world building.

Well, she also specifically commented on Mrs. Gingerbread, and we were sort of talking about the odd reach the Ballad of Mrs. Gingerbread and we were sort of talking about The odd reach the ballot of Mrs. Gingerbread has had yeah like to the point We're like people in our real lives are going like oh man songs are like it's just very Your real life. Yeah, anyway the point is both of us have felt the impact Going back because we just did that interview, I think it was yesterday or the day before, you heard a song, then you played it at your wedding. Imagine those other 45 people.

They're at a regular wedding, they're like, oh, this is nice. It's a crazy song. The song's insane. The song is in, I mean, from the second, it's like, to be able to go back and listen to it for the first time again is like watching The Sixth Sense for the first time.

By the way, the lady, the woman who wrote it has a link for it, it's now on Spotify, not connected to our show. It's just out there, which means somebody's random mix, they could be like, you know how Spotify recommends stuff? Yeah. They could be like, I love this song by DC what the hell I love you some kid or some person might hear that and go like who's this band like I love this

Mrs. Gingerbread's getting bookings in Reno. We going to watch the clip and for anybody now that we're an audio only, we will put the whole clip on Instagram so you can see that. But will you tell us how it went first before we watch it and what happened after, Rachel? So how it went was quite phenomenal because not very many people understood or recognized the song and it was an incredibly emotional wedding. We made every single person cry just before that. Wow. So, we put that on.

And then most people didn't have any reference to what it was. So, it was a little bizarre. No, it shouldn't. Which, I mean, the song is. Yes. Yeah, the song is extremely bizarre. It's a big time inside joke. And it's long.

It's not a short song. No, and we kept the whole thing on. Oh my god. So first it was Brandon and I dancing, then kids ran up we called them up because they didn't actually listen to my Instruction that they should just come up. So we called them up and they danced with us in a very awkward circle. You'll see Song to dance to to be fair especially at your parents wedding To be fair especially at your parents wedding. Yes No, yeah, and then one of our friends came up because we kept asking people to come up and dance with us They just didn't know

It's not like a banger that there's no What am I dancing to Banger that everyone knows I'm getting more and more excited before we watch Jake pin it so you see the big video version, okay? So then it's a good idea look at you, Mr. Technology I help my boy out You know and so then you do the song, and then before we go and watch it, which we're gonna, we're gonna, everybody comes up and dance.

Did people say anything afterwards? Was there any reaction to it? No. Are you guys okay? Nothing, nothing. Nobody even brought it up. Nobody was like, what was that? No, no, I think people understand that we're just those people, so they just didn't ask

any questions. I don't know if those people have ever existed before. I think a lot of them do. The Mrs. Gingerbread couple? This has to be a trend. I'm calling on our audience to now, if you're getting married, add a second song and it is the ballad of Mrs. Gingerbread. By the way, you know what? I don't think it needs to be

a second song, you know what I think it could be? First song. Isle, so walking down the aisle, you're right. Oh my gosh, no, I think that's a good show. I think this should play at every wedding, if you're a fan of the show. I agree. It can be deep in the night, when everybody's drunk,

you know, like we did a few things, we're at weddings, we do like bets, what's gonna happen next. Yes. Just throw this on with the DJ Film it and then call it because anytime you would have a wedding party where this could become a niche Ymca or brown eyed girl Shout where you're like at a certain point of the night. You got to throw that weird gingerbread Gingerbread cat song on that's a banger. That's an end of song on. That's a banger.

That's an end of the night, everybody's drunk banger. You know what that is? That's how you let everyone know the wedding's over. Yeah, and everyone's going. It's the closing time. I love you, love you, love you. Oh, the pop-oven. I'm always thinking of you.

You know what I would love? The covers. Yeah, well also, I would love somebody to sample this and put a cool rap over it. Yeah Yes, that would be cool Let's go real second lady Emily from Rolling Stone. You want world building? How's this? Okay That would be so god and if all of those if it's cool and you go like hell

Yeah, that's a rethinking of this god damn song. Oh man. And so, Rachel, congrats on the wedding. Yes. Thank you. I'm really glad you played it. Yes. I'm glad it worked.

Well. And then... Well. We'll see. Yeah. And then, Gareth, for the audio only, while we're watching it, why don't you just kind of say what you see? All right, I'll lay in with some light commentary.

Yeah. Okay. And like Jake said, go to our socials if you want to watch this. Here we go. We've got a beautiful light show going on. The lovely couple feels miles away on their own on an island. Cool guy at the bar too. Yep.

Yeah, guy at the bar putting the vibe out. Okay, so that's the end of the first song, I think. And now I recognize it. It is... So now the husband is slowly understanding what the hell's happening. Kids are running out as this song blasts. A great awkward family dance. This dance is not rehearsed. They don't know how to dance to a song with barely any beat. Well, they're all holding hands and kind of moving in and out.

They're wringing around and posing. A brother's. Now nobody's moving. Now everyone's just standing there. Everyone's standing there. The guy at the bar has left the scene. Has left. Nobody's laughing.

Really. Except for you guys. Holy shit. Rachel, really good stuff. We will post the whole thing on the Instagram, all videos obviously on Patreon. Rachel, that's phenomenal. Awesome.

Thank you. And congratulations to you, your family, to us and mainly to Mrs. Gingerbread, who continues to have a legacy. That I didn't see coming. Me either. No. And so I think what we're saying to the community

is that maybe this is just the start. Yeah. That's up to you guys. Yeah, we have so many, I mean, we've got an 18-year-old birthday party this year. We can play that. We've got multiple big events. So this is becoming part of our lives.

Well. And I think that the world is in need of healing. And maybe this is a small bandaid. Exactly. Thank you, Jake. Rachel, we appreciate you. You're the best. Congrats on the wedding.

Thanks a lot, Rachel. Thanks so much. Okay. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Wow, that is just. I would say before we go to the next one,

that's a ring of bell. Oh yeah, that's a bell. That was cheating because it's not a real follow up. I saw that email and asked her to come on. Oh, really? I don't ring it. Yeah. Ring it. But that's a victory. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at HelpfulPod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes

of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix and master by Chris Fowler. Themed song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strilecki, and if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentolds.com.

Remember all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod. Hey, I'm Wayne Brady. And I'm Jonathan Mangum. And we're two big improv nerds who get a chance to play and make stuff up on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway or Let's Make a Deal. And we're now hosting a new improvise show

called What If on the Head Gum Podcast Network. And on What If, we believe that improvisation is a conversation. So we get to have conversations with guests from the worlds of TV, film, tech, and literature. Guests like Bobby Moynihan, Aisha Tyler, LeVar Burton, and Adam Conover. We ask them the big, ridiculous questions like what if you heard a monkey's feelings?

What if your grandma was a secret agent? What if Jonathan was invited to the cookout? I'm not. And then we turn the conversation into spontaneous scenes, songs, well, because that's what we do. Subscribe to What If on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, wherever you get your podcasts, and watch episodes on YouTube. No script, no net, just What If.