We're Here to Help - 167: The People's Picks: Chronicles of Conor (Re-Release)

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

For this re-release episode, Jake and Gareth pick a true fan-favorite: the full saga of Conor, who keeps living with senior citizens in AirBnb's. Plus, stick around to the very end for an update from the man himself.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

With a $5 meal deal with new McValue, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Prices and participation may vary. McDouble Meal's $6 in some markets for a limited time only. Calling all ones and twos. We're conducting an audience survey at gumgum.fm slash here to help. And we would love to hear from you so we can keep making content that you love. You know this, we know this, there are ads on our podcast. We want to improve that experience,

but in order to do this, we need to know a little bit more about you, our audience. The survey is a quick, easy, and free way to support the podcast. Take you two minutes, and you'll be helping us out so much by doing it. So go to gumgum.fm slash here to help to fill out our audience survey. That's gum.fm slash here to help. And we are back! So today is a re-release day, Gareth.

Yes. And it is Gareth. Yes. And it is your turn. Yes. And then we threw this on you last minute because we got a little bit of time. Jamila is coming in to record with us, but we've got a little open window. Yes.

So I said, I could pitch on your pitch, and you said it's unorthodox. It's highly unorthodox. And I agree with you. It's never been done before. Well, let me explain where I'm coming from. Okay. I Released my last one. Mr. Hot takes Fantastic. I was looking at the Spotify comments

from Laura doll Connor needs an episode like this This is from a lady name or a gentleman named Jade. Absolutely Connor calls from Laura White. Connor episode for sure. 59, 67, 83, 101. Probably more emoji crying, laughing. It's a good pitch.

Then there's another one. Number 104 104 uncle master Rodney's a gem I don't remember that one do you but he's really been on the show a lot. Connor yes agreed and then it's there was another one Chronicles from Tom Chronicles of Connor. So I- Or the Conicles. The Conicles of Connor. So I think if you're okay with it, Gareth, and you can do the Gareth Bix next,

let's do the Chronicles of Connor. It's highly unorthodox, Jake, but it's also this show continues and always shall be democratic. But if the people are voting. The people have spoken. You know what my brother and I are starting to do actually? So my brother is a web designer.

And he's been creating a thing called jury search, which is a way for people to search for juries because you can like pool people together. So we were talking the other day and he's like, you know, I'm changing the app and I'm having it grow where it can be something where you can like, as a group of people, all pick. And it's a database of picking and I'm a database of picking

and I was like, why don't you flip it around for our show a little bit so that we can get all of our calls on that thing uploaded and people can pick what they want for a re-release and who they want as a follow-up. That's great. And he's like, he's gonna work on it. So it's not ready yet.

I'm just telling you now early, because we were texting yesterday and getting excited about it. We're beta. But it started because of these Connor comments, where I was like, that's a good idea. Because I think what's different about this when people go like, you can hear them.

I go, of course you can, but you can't hear them all together. God damn it. And this episode is a curated. True. Well, and we want to incentivize people to listen to all of it. But also, I think you're right. I think we have these these people who really have

become part of the world. Yeah. Like Robert, who you you really fell hard for today. Robert, for those who don't know what we're talking about because this might be sooner than that, although I don't know when Rob's coming out, but Robert was the Max Greenfield circumcision character and he called back and we got an update. Yeah, we got an update and you fell hard, but Connor does deserve his own episode. So let's just get to it Let's just start to show you a start to go. Yeah, yeah really quickly. You're in a holiday and how do you like it? Did you get it on booking? Yeah

This is not a booking.com. That's why you're not happy with it. That's right when it's a booking.com booking. Yeah, i'm happy This is uh through the club and it's it's not great. And if people want to see Terrible live. How do they find you? They go to gareth reynolds.com through the club and it's not great. And if people want to see Gareth Reynolds live, how do they find you? They go to garethrentolds.com. The next thing I have are dollop dates in June. You can go to dolloppodcast.com, but then a lot of dates in August.

Lot of dates, all over. So you can go to garethrentolds.com. I'll be in Fort Collins again, one of the greatest clubs in the country, the Comedy Fort. I will be in Chattanooga, I'll be in Nashville. I'll be all around that little area. I'm doing a lot of the South lately, so it's fun. I love it.

So if any of our audience members are there, why don't you go check out the G-Man? You'll have a good time. And... The helpers come out. They do? The ghillie beans come out. That's pretty cool. It's great. It is cool. This feels like a do.

A do? Yeah. When we promise without further. I agree. But it's nice. It's about me. You know I like. I know.

I want it to be nice to you. I like you. You're a nice guy. I like you. I like you, buddy. Uh... Hahaha. This is super weird. Uh. That's super weird. Well, we're getting older.

No we're not. We're getting younger bro. Uh, and we've been doing a lot of Zooms and again all we do is look at each other's face for three hours. Well we're gonna do some impersonate bae. I agree. Yes. Uh, and I want to get Eric Edelstein on more. Great. There's no pushback from the network on that. How do they have exactly that funny? And yes, Gareth, we gotta let him cook.

We won't have him do a billion calls because it'll just be us sitting there reacting. I know, yeah. We'll get him to do a couple and just. Well, you know, you never know. Let Kobe shoot. We never know where a river will open from some weird pitch.

So it's good to have him there considering that as we learned on Jamila's podcast that You know he he was a 7-eleven healing Elvis without further Hello Alright, here we go. And we are rolling. How are you? Good, thank you.

Sorry about that. That's okay. We're definitely going to blame you for whatever technical issues. I got to say, we know it wasn't you, my guy. It is. We're going to put it on you. We're in a new studio. Yeah, we're in a new studio.

It's Gareto. The Earth is in a new vest. Listen, it's the old vest. What is your name? First of all, welcome to We're Here to Help, It's the old vest. What is your name? First of all welcome to we're here to help America's number one podcast What is your name age roughly where you calling from and then we'll get into it sure thing. My name is Connor I'm 24 and I am in Florida right now 24 part of Florida Southwest Florida Northport. Yeah

Imagine me 24 again Jake. Yeah, I feel it. Okay, that's my vibe is 20 never Alright Connor what unfortunately you look like an action figure Jake is Murdering me over what would just be considered a lovely outfit No, I look good someone has to step up the fashion on the show. Do I have to raise my hand to talk? Look at you. What year are those New Balances from? Be honest. How many characters have you played that wore those shoes? Seven. Can I raise my hand? Yes, Jake Johnson. We're here to help press.

Connor, he just started dressing up for the cameras because we're on YouTube. I've always been Connor. I always... Jake, Connor, don't listen to Jake. This is what Jake does. What has happened? A lot of words I've always I've always cheeks are getting red. I've always Heard in the I've always you have earthy tones always I've always been a fashion icon and I'm just continuing that so Connor What is the problem? I have the problem. Go ahead Connor. What's your problem? I your problem is is your face is too red for your earthy outfit. Connor, go ahead whenever you're ready. What can we do to help you, buddy? Okay.

So my problem is, so I recently got- I gotta go hunting soon. Go ahead, Connor, what's going on? Sorry. Hunting for a new vest? I recently got an internship down here in Florida. Great. Okay.

So I needed to find some quick housing and I found a nice cheap one. It was Airbnb, but it's one of those ones where you share it with other renters So like I have a room, but we share a common area So you're just right you rent in a room like a dorm almost I'm rent in a room We've all done it on Airbnb sure I didn't realize Airbnb did that They're doing everything. I don't know they're fancy these days, but rather than going through okay So you're renting a room for Airbnb you got an internship you're in a room. Okay, you're back

So my roommates, they're very nice people. They are senior citizens That's incredible This is great. Wait quick question about your group How many people how old what are the what's the range and I'm gonna tell you why cuz I'm gonna steal it I'm gonna tell you why, because I'm gonna steal it and I'm gonna sell it to NBC, baby! I swear to God, in my head, in my head, I was like, keep this in the back pocket. So eventually, Connor, we might use this and guess what? You'll get a chunk of change too, baby boy.

I wouldn't go chunk. That's all I'm asking for. I wouldn't go as far as chunk. Define, lawyer, please define chunk. A shred. Yeah. Eighth dollars is a chunk. A morsel so so Connor. What are your roommate situations? One I'll give you they're Roger and Cindy

They're both in their 60s. I love this and are they a couple yeah, they're both in there. Are they together No, they're not all individuals. You got Rod. You got Cindy Cindy we have each individual room respect, okay? Okay, so anyway In our room there are the three of you got Roger you got Cindy you got Connor I can't I'm very excited for the problem. Yes my mind Well, but by the way if there's no problem is just a setup. I'm into talking about it We're here to help just discuss before the next call. What's going on with Rogers? I podcast we're here to gossip Yeah, oh my god. We're here to gab about Rodgers in you can't really quick Connor

Is there any vibrage between Roger Cindy come on? I'm gonna tell you what Cindy stays to herself. Okay, of course yourself. I've seen her twice in my time. I've been Cindy's kind of story? Is like, what does she do for work, do you know? Cindy, she's visiting some family down here. Respect. And she's from the Midwest, so she has a Midwest accent. Love Cindy.

But she just usually keeps to herself, and she stays in her room. She is the cat. And I got a feeling Roger's the dog. He's barking in everyone's business. Is that true, Connor? What's Roger doing? So Roger yeah, he is the chatterbox of the house. Yeah, he's the dog he is He's very talkative. He likes to be out and about so Roger is basically me and Gareth. Yeah won't shut up Yeah, just always down for a fat chew hanging out at the kitchen island I'll tell you what this show needs Connor is a fucking Cindy kind of narrating everything

More eggs another best another cough. Okay. We're really getting vest heavy on this Kevin We're gonna pass through a vest pass and editing. I agree take it off No, come on, you can't listen to Jake wanting less layers classic classic Roger So you've got Roger talks all the time Cindy's quiet Connor. What's your vibe in the house? My vibe is I come in and Rogers there so this He has started to secretly claim the common area nightmare He has completely taken over Nightmare

He has completely taken over whether that's him Yeah, like doing laundry out there in the common room where it's not near as well He might be watching tic-tac full volume taking phone calls on his speaker while we're out there Roger is acting like it's his home, and he's the dad. Oh So dad doesn't wear a shirt his goddamn living now I know I get this okay okay so in the common room we have the laundry do we have a no no not the laundry his laundry he just there is not a TV in this common okay last time his phone kitchen is in the common area obviously yeah yeah the common area we got the kitchen all that stuff yeah he's right there all right so Connor this is the couch for himself so this is

good stuff so I just pissed on that area as he's the dog okay so Rogers in the center your vibe which I like how you describe yourself is you're just coming home and Rogers claiming this center hey how was work yeah is that similar to what's happening I bought some hummus and carrots if you want to have any of those with me Connor It's funny you guys said like he's the dog because he's got this little 14 year old dog as well That loves to just yapp around and I'm pretty sure that dogs leaked a little bit here and there What's the dog's name? The dog's name is Millie. It's one of those tiny white ones. I gotta say one second one second

I added a dog named Millie. I got a little Broken through Because it was in the Rowena apartment. Oh, yeah Yep, look at us a little bit. Okay, so keep going Connor walk us through so wonderful setup I'm liking everything about this. I wish there was little cameras hidden around your apartment so I could just watch We could this would be my gonna happen. Yeah, this would be my favorite show, so what's the problem? I'm trying to win the common room back fuck you Roger He is being a chatterbox

I'll go in there and he's in the common room whenever I arrive whenever I leave he's always there So I've tried to wait him out before he can't wait out an old-time guy. Yeah, there's one thing. You're not gonna be a 60 year old man Connor He stays up Connor. I'm gonna tell you yeah, kind of I'm gonna tell you this is a 45 year old man And you're a 24 year old you get more stubborn every five years and more Desperate for interaction like a lot of this is probably coming from Roger really wanting to hang out with you I see that do you do you feel like he's like pining for your friendship a little bit Connor? Or is he just the lunatic hanging out? He's just claiming space. You don't know No, I felt you guys might say this, you know as because I do I have felt that you know

At times he can be looking for we're just chatting Cindy's she keeps to herself So he doesn't have a Cindy to talk to. And so it's him and I. But he's also started doing this pet peeve lately, and this is mostly why I had to call in, because I needed to change something. And that is whenever we're in talk, in conversing, he'll start pointing.

And what I mean by that is he points, and then he asks you a question about what he just said So whether he's in the middle of a conversation And you know who showed up and then he points at me asking me to guess who showed up Yeah, so this is more my I don't know who showed up. He's kind of mad He wants you to mad live with him basically you fill in the specific with a point But he also wants to make sure that you're listening that you're staying focused that you're paying attention to him And I'm gonna tell you why because it's his space So as what happens to men in my opinion and possibly women, but I will just say men for sure is as we get older

Everything becomes World War one and that is there's a line in the sand and you go I'd rather die of Ten infections then move one inch backwards Yeah, right I'd rather rats eat me out from every hole in my body then give you motherfuckers one inch and that's what's happening Right. He said he and Cindy are fine And he goes who the fuck is this brat and his brats coming in my space I'm gonna tell you a story Connor. Hey Connor. What's my name right now? Yeah, I mean at you. My name is Jake You got to say it faster. You see what he just do what I just did there. I rogered you I took control

I dominated you Yeah, he's dominating you Connor I took control. I dominated you. Yeah. He's dominating you, Connor. I got my first pitch. Connor, I got my first pitch. Am I too early to pitch? Do you have more info? No, that's basically the whole gist of it.

So you want to stop... He wants to take over the space. You want to take the space back and Roger has the pointing oddity. Okay, go ahead. So I got my first... He has a stronghold, yeah. Yeah, well he's winning. It's World War I got my first he has a stronghold. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's when it's World War one And right now he's got the territory you want. So my pitch is gonna be called you got a Roger Roger. Okay

Okay, so you've got to Roger Roger what I mean by that is You're in the space earlier than him. You're telling stories pointing at him You do an impression of Roger to Roger. Where he likes to be on the couch, you get there first. You're doing your laundry. So Roger has to deal with Roger. So guess what? You can't win in a war if they're fighting exactly the same as you.

And that might make him go like, holy shit. Fire with fire. Roger with Roger. Roger with Roger. I like that a lot. I think that's, I, I def, I, my fear- Yes. Would be that Roger is going to re, I mean- Like it.

Yes. And that you will find now that you're like, Jesus Christ, Roger has like sucked you into his world. Yes. But guess what? Connor might like it. You might. Let me ask you this, Connor.

What, what do you have, have like do you like your room cuz like I gotta be honest. I definitely like what Cindy's approach Cindy's I would be on Roger Cindy's like Rogers out of his mind. I want no part in this I'm gonna make my room the common space for me and I'm gonna just sit in here and Cindy's normal You know who Connor is Roger jr. Yeah, oh Jesus Christ, I'm sorry. And I say that with love. I say that with love, Connor. That's a diagnosis more than a point.

Connor, I say that with love, because guess what? I'm Roger Jr. You have Roger J- Well, we all think I'm Roger- And so is Garret. You ever go to the gym? Like, remember when you go to the gym, there's always like an old guy who's hanging out there and he wants to talk or on the plane sometimes there's a guy who is or like the

bar there's always a guy who's there and you like you're not trying to have a conversation but you like look into eye contact and you're like Jesus that guy's looking at me and he's like I was from Michigan. Well I think our Rogers are different Gareth. I think your Roger is looking for human connection and I think my Roger is drawing arbitrary lines in the sand and defending them what what Connor? What is your what is your gut? Do you you feel like it's more like the Jake thing where he's kind of just trying to Dominate a space. Yes. He's trying to be the alpha or is he looking for?

A little sadness under this where we at and then we can go forward at first I was fell for that. I thought it was a little bit of sadness, but now I firmly believe it is about marking territory Yeah, and that he is trying so we gotta outweigh me So I'm gonna just make a claim on this call. This is now more to my friend Gareth. You're projected my king There is a sadness. Let's step away from it title But title for a different call. That's when you call in Great, but this is not this call. Okay. Let me ask you this Does he drink good question? No, do you drink? Yes

24 year old in Southwest, Florida He when you say I mean like you mean like yeah like Jaeger or like a hundred million beers I'm like I don't like drink right now Do you like to party? Yes, not you Do you yeah, yes, I would start I mean like party like right now. I think there's a cocaine right now. I'll do a bump I think there is some leverage here to maybe if you make the common space a little bit of also Do you have friends out there? They know he's there all coming down eventually.

OK, I would start adding a little bit of party to the mix in the common room. We also don't want to fuck up Cindy. But Cindy's week, but Cindy matters. She's collateral to me. You got to shoot the hostage. Sorry, Cindy. You're in the bedroom. You're hanging out like a weird cat. You got your litter box in there. I have a feeling she's pissing in jars. I I think okay, you're projecting I've pissed in a lot of jars

I think maybe you bring a bottle of 151 out there one night and you start bringing the hammer down a little bit I feel like that's gonna maybe that might counteract or throw some sand on the Roger energy Okay So the another thing you could do here, Connor, is smoke them out. And I don't mean with actual smoke. It's just the idea of making the common space less comfortable. So you figure out what Roger likes about that common space and you take it away. So one of the things if he likes sitting there listening to his TikTok, well, you're in the

kitchen listening to your phone even louder So like if I go to a restaurant by myself, which I like to do and some fucking asshole has their phone without headphones Yeah, and they're watching their insane. I hate it and say what I now do and I'll tell you a real story That just happened the other day. I was with Eric Edelstein. Okay, we were walking down by the Arroyo having a pleasant time Quiet nice kind of rainy day just loving it some fucking asshole on the hike behind us has his music Crazy playing on a speaker so I hear this guy from 300 feet behind me so Eric goes brother Let's be mature well. I chose not to I chose not I choose to smoke them out And you know what I did I turned my phone volume as loud as it can get.

So when he was near us, we were in a world of chaos. And what I was saying is like, hey asshole, we can all ruin a common space. Really in this society we have the auditory privacy is absolutely insane. Headphones are the best. We all have them. Absolutely. So what I like that a lot. What I would do is there's a version of you smoke him out. So one is, you know, Roger the Roger and you imitate him.

Smoke him out means you're in there while he's in there. If he's talking to you, you're playing music. You're playing whatever you want to listen to. You're on the phone with a friend talking at full volume. Ooh, FaceTiming with someone full volume is good. Yes full engagement in another world You could feign obliviousness very well and so and then you've got the shoot the hostage and that is turn the Center into a party when you're hearing these ideas of the idea of party. I've got two more go Okay, what about working out do you work out?

Yeah, now you do it in the common room Do this yes, I used to do the p90x and let me tell you nothing alienates others Neighbors there can be walls if you do that in the common area that's gonna make him feel very yeah very strange but then I also have the Hail Mary. And this is where I'm talking about some ally forces. I think you go to Cindy and you let Cindy know that Roger has moved his troops way too far into this area. And you are worried about annexation.

I'm getting too deep into it. And now you and Cindy want to have dinner in the common space. Try to make Roger feel like the third wheel a little bit and see if that'll put the gopher back in the hole. Okay. That's interesting. So you go to Cindy and you go, look, I understand you like your privacy. I like my privacy.

I feel like Roger's gotten way too comfortable. I think for a little bit, if you and I can do a couple things out there, I'll buy us some noodles. We sit out there, we hang out, we have a gab. I think that'll make Roger feel like the third wheel and maybe he'll go home Obviously that has a big win big danger zone I can see it from Cindy's point of view you might have to start sleeping with Cindy, but I think for me that's worth it It's a different show. It doesn't go to NBC, but we could still sell it. Yeah, of course So Connor you got Roger to Roger,

where you essentially do an impression of Roger to Roger nonstop. When he's doing laundry, you're doing laundry. When he's telling a story, you're telling a story. When he's watching TikTok, you're watching TikTok, to the point of he goes like, this fucking kid's driving me nuts, and he's driving me so nuts,

the only way to get away from him is go to my room. The other one is smoke them out with noises FaceTime in music you're in his spaceball. He is third shoot the hostage You literally bring a bottle of booze party your fucking ass off You're going through a dark time and he's got a feel that and bad news at work and guess what it is a canter Yep, Cindy's gonna pay the price too for that one. Yeah, but you are now Exploding the dynamic of the apartment to get him and Cindy out and start over for is the workout You just start doing your sweaty gross workouts in the common space be the grunty guy be the grunty guy

Yes, two more, Connor! Yes. And you're in shorts and t-shirts and you're laying on a yoga mat on the floor and he hates it. Five is connect with Cindy and turn him into the third wheel. Connor, back to you, our 24-year-old Fred who is still wet behind the ears starting life. What are you gonna do young man? You gave me a lot of good options there fellas. I'm not gonna lie to you

You both present pretty good. I like I'm leaning towards smoke them out Okay, I feel that sets a tone. Yeah, it gives you like a little bit of fire fire fire first fire Yeah, and I'm not putting Cindy in the middle of harm's way, right? I respect this I do too Yeah, so you're going for an old smoke amount But you're being sensitive to Cindy as you smoke them out if she's not in the house things get weird if she is you walk away I think that's right if it escalates I think I go with the Hail Mary option and I try to team up with Cindy. Yeah interesting Okay, you want to get to know her so I think that's right

So you're starting smoke them out and if it goes sideways you're having a great talk with Cindy and say yeah The reason I'm doing this is because of this do you want to team up? And if she says no you leave yep Yeah, and then you cut ties there. Airbnb has a lot of different places. Yes. I can see, like Cindy has dropped little hints here and there in the two times I've seen her. That Roger is not her type of guy.

I think you got that play if you needed for sure. That's good to know. Hold on to that because in World War I, the way to win is you got to get more countries as allies. Yes. Yes. But the first thing you do is you run right for that line, you try to knock them on their goddamn ass and get them fucking backtrack and move the line into their territory.

I think that's, I think it's good. I think both. I think they work in conjunction well too, you know. And Connor, when you say you like to party, what's a party for you? What are you drinking? Walk us through a little bit of that evening really fast before we get out of here. No, it's a lame type of party, I'll tell you that. Cool, let's hear what it is.

What does that mean? What's that, it's just like go out on a weekend, have a few, one, two, three, something like that. By the way. Give us a few beers. What kind of beers we drinking? One, two, three, couple of shots, one, two, three. Shots ever?

Yeah, not. What is it? Probably like Coronas. Maybe a shot or two or no? One, two, three, tequila? Not as many shots. You make eye contact with a guy across the bar who's got a stuffed parrot on his shoulder

and he holds one nostril shut and gives you a wink. Do you meet him in the bathroom or one, two, three or no? One, two, three, no, I don't. Connor, you see a guy at the bar, he's's wearing a vest he looks like he's a mannequin from Ross Dress for Less. Thanks for the call Connor. Do you walk up or do you run? Yeah hug him.

Bye Connor. Bye Connor. Bye guys thank you. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. As we have always said, we love Squarespace. It's an all-in-one website platform design that helps you stand out, succeed online. If anybody listening to this wants to just have a little bit of fun, why don't you start a Squarespace website, use our code here to help,

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Well, thanks for having me back, guys. You're welcome. Who are you and what did you call about and what's your follow-up? We have no clue, so just key us in. Yeah. Okay, yeah, my name's Connor. I called about living with senior citizen roommates in an Airbnb room.

My mother listened to this one and loved it. She was so invested. I'm glad to hear that. So you basically have a place where you're sharing space with some seniors and one of the seniors is kind of... He's a maniac. Is a very... He's taken over the space Yeah, and uh and kind of your you're in Florida and you were what 24 years old But I remember you didn't party your party was like two Year and this was one where we really did what was the advice on this Garf because I remember this was like

Fight fire with fire. I think we said it was like kill the hostage or something I think I think we started with saw I think we said try to form a united front with the other person What was her name Wendy or something Barbara or something? Cindy Cindy Cindy. Cindy. Roger and Cindy. Roger and Cindy. So we said sidebar with Cindy. Yes. And go for that. And then I think maybe we what did we land on? Do we land on the idea that you kind of- To make Roger's life miserable. To work out in the living room. Work out in the living room.

Be very like listen to things on speaker. I think the advice was out Roger Roger. Yes. Connor. Yes. I think we settled on smoking them out and then it would go to Cindy and They'd like try to form the front front with Cindy and just force Roger to get out of there. Well, I'm dying. What's happening? So I the attempt to smoke him out was not very smoky. He did not really get bothered by it. What did you do exactly?

Walk us through. Because if you tried to smoke him out the way you parted, he might not even know you were smoking him out. Yeah, he might not have known you were there. I tried to smoke him out. I turned my TV volume at a 38 rather than a 33. I used the dimmer switch, put it pretty bright, not all the way up. Very bright. I turn my TV volume at a 38 rather than a 33 Use the dimmer switch put it pretty bright not all the way up very bright And then I took the light bulb they were 14 boom. I made him 18 in the bathroom. It's way too bright. It's way too

It's very with the white walls, it's uncomfortable. Oh, it's very I mean it's tolerable, but barely Roger likes a soft toilet paper. I did two plies harder. Still soft, but not quilted, baby. I'm not gonna go insane. Enjoy that, Roger. Perhaps it'll be a little less comfortable for you, Rog. The subtle hemorrhoid, I call it. So, Connor, how did you smoke this maniac out? What'd you do?

So, I started doing things like go out there, start going on FaceTime or phone calls on speaker, just trying to let my presence be known. And it seemed like he couldn't even hear it. And so anyway, I went with this. By the way, that's an issue. It is yep. Yep. There's needs to be a lot of smoke. Yeah Hey went to go to Cindy and But hold on hold on Connor so all you tried to do is smoke them out was make calls in the living room What else Connor? Well, here's the thing guys talk to us I am trying to work through this story because the story gets so much better in the second half.

Okay, okay, okay. All right, sorry. Go, baby. Go, baby. Yeah. So the whole point is like, so I tried to make this front with Cindy. Cindy's not there. Lo and behold, I go to Roger.

I say, do you know where Cindy is? He goes, I have no idea. We find out she's been gone for three days. She left in the middle of the night. From this, Roger and I form a friendship and it goes great for however long he stays there. He when he parts ways, he gives me a hundred shark teeth and we call it a day. Hold on, hold on. No, Jake, you hold on.

He gives you a, was there any, had you talked about shark teeth or was this has he sort of seceded from in, Florida? And he's kind of come up with his own currency He's like here's next bunch of rich. I think the currency down in certain parts of Florida Certainly in Jimmy Buffett restaurants you can pay with can I get two burgers and fries that'll be better to be one shark teeth He Can I get two burgers and fries? That'll be nine shark teeth. That'll be 31 shark teeth. He, we had mentioned, cause he would go like during his time in the morning, he'd be like, yeah, you know, I went to the beach and got these shark teeth. And I was like, oh, sweet. And so then when he left, he just gave me all these shark teeth. And so, yeah, I just got a bunch of shark teeth. I thought, you know, it was pretty neat.

Sure, yeah. He then after that, he left. I thought I had the house to myself. Less than five hours later, my next set of roommates come in. Ooh. And- So we're replacing Cindy and now, so we don't know what happened to Cindy.

Why she left like a thief in the night. That just happened. Not a clue. Not one bit, we don't know what happened to Cindy, why she left like a thief in the night, that just happened. Not a clue, not one bit, we don't know. So now you have two new people coming in, let's go. And so their names are, so instead of it being senior citizens, these guys are, they are foreign citizens. They are immigrants who have come over. One is Mexican.

His name is Roberto. He doesn't speak a lick of English. He has nine fingers. It is incredible. Connor, Connor, you're living a wild life. Jesus. This is incredible. Roberto.

You said we got Roberto. Who's number two? By the way, we love Roberto. The other one is Not here. The other one is Maria. She is from Russia. And Roberto and I, we think she stinks.

She is terrible. A terrible roommate. Wait, as a person or literally smells bad? No, just as a person. And how do you communicate with Roberto if there's no sign language he's got he's got some basic like he knows some regular key phrases which are main short teeth like like hello I don't think he really knows my name to be honest like he tried

Wait, hold on. Hold on not to Connor Kevin just wrote in our group chat You should get him babble that is what we just want our sponsor that we love and we would highly recommend You both should use babble. Absolutely, you know what we, Connor? We're gonna talk to Babble about sending you guys through them a subscription to Babble to figure out how to communicate. And then maybe have you guys as a follower. Oh my God, yes. If we could have, oh my God.

Amazing. Oh good Lord. Babble just popped champagne at their HQ. Will you try to get on that and see if we can do it? And if we can, we'll do a follow up with Roberto and Connor and see how Babbel's working for him. So back to you, Connor. Yeah, go ahead.

So, well, our main form of communication, we figured out a way, our own bartering system, because he'd make all this real deal Mexican food almost every night. Delicious. And he'd, I get some of that Mexican food and in return at the end of each week I buy him a case of Modellos. Great. You've got a wonderful family. It's a great deal.

So you and Roberto have a real budding friendship here. Oh yeah, it's pretty great. And then Maria came along and it's just been the walk. It's just there's been an energy in the house. It's just well, so she's like, I like you a lot. I'm just going to say you've made my you've made my morning a lot better. It's not only like you, but I love your predicament. You live.

You mean you are really living. I got to say, I got to say, Gary, Con I love your predicament. You live, I mean you are really living in a watchman's nest. I gotta say, Gareth, Connor's a great guy. I mean, Roberto's a great guy. We got this thing, but then friggin' Maria came in from Russia and she's stinkin' up the joint. Yeah, while he's just sort of like, like de-stressing by holding shark teeth. Yeah, he's got a hundred shark teeth around his neck.

And he's like, and Cindy, she's dead. Yeah, Cindy obviously evaporated. She's been murdered. She has been murdered. She's in somebody's old old. She's in a trunk of an Oldsmobile down in Miami. I hired a PI, but he needs 400 shark teeth down here. But the PI is going to be Connor's next roommate.

He's 65 years old. He's trying to break them. He's got a drinking problem. So Connor, so you and Roberto have this beautiful relationship. Falling in love with this relationship. I truly love it. So you and Roberto, soft dating.

Now walk us through the Maria of it. I mean, Gareth, in every project I've ever done, I've written Roberto as my side character. This is a wonderful dynamic. I'm trying to think of one where you have... There's always a Roberto. We don't communicate in English at all. He's got nine fingers, but he's an amazing chef.

And he goes with me most places. Yeah, we have become best friends. So give us some specifics on the Maria issues if you could Connor? Um, so the first day she comes in it's around dinnertime and As someone if you remember I said I was down here on an internship Yeah, and so I'm on got a small budget and I'm a big pasta eater like eating pasta And I'm getting Getting pasta eater like eating pasta and I'm getting getting ready to make some dinner.

But walk me through. OK, so you and Roberto have this really nice thing. You're you're great food. You're given a beer, by the way, fair trade. Well played. I like how you're doing that. Love it. And Marie comes in with this fucking stank attitude. Yeah. And so how are you-

From Russia with hate. How are you and Roberto getting rid of her? Well, that's what I'm calling you guys about, but I was gonna give some details for nothing. We're gonna give you the same advice. You gotta out Roberta Roberta. Yep, pair hundred percent. I mean, you gotta out-

Until it kicks rocks. You gotta out Marie Marie. What is she doing, Kyder? What is Maria doing that's so crazy is Maria doing? That's so crazy I got three things that just sent me over the edge here talk to first one. I came back for dinner I'm trying to eat some pasta Looking for the strainer in the house strainer is nowhere to be seen. She's sold that where is the strainer? She sees me looking and goes. Oh, are you looking for this?

She has turned the strainer into She sees me looking and goes, Oh, are you looking for this? She has turned the strainer into her own personal fruit bowl. And when she did that, she's like, do you want it back? And I said, yes, yes, I would like that back. Yes, please. I need that. Well, the reason you do for fruit bowls, you can water them all at once, put it right in the sink. I've done it. Continue. All right. Second was I was a weekend day, went out, came back in and I guess, I don't know if she thought she was home alone, but she's out in the kitchen making some food. And again, they're not as old as Roger and Cindy, Roberto and Maria, but they're also pushing 55. Roberto and Maria, but they're also pushing 55. Okay, that's fine.

And she's in the kitchen just in a towel. Just straight from a shower. Are we talking under armpits or just waste? It's gotta be armpits. She can't be letting those just fly around. I feel like we would hear that detail, but I just don't. Yeah, I mean you got That is a top of call problem my roommate

Cooks pasta with her breasts out and I don't know what to do. That is a top of call That's we're going straight to patreon live She He's just she's out there though and we're talking and she did not she has no Problem doing nothing and I'm holding my ground. I'm like who's gonna break first here And who did Connor what happens how do you get out of that situation cuz no one brought it up She's like, you know, I gotta go like back to my room. It's like, okay, you do you Maria. And I was like, what's going on? And anyway though, the best one,

the best one was I came home from work and she meets me at the door and she goes, Hey, uh, you work at this place, right? And I'm like, oh yeah. And she goes, hey, you work at this place, right? And I'm like, oh yeah. And she goes, well, that's really convenient because I have a colonoscopy appointment tomorrow at about like two minutes from where you work. And my car broke down and where we live, I don't know if I can get an Uber in time, like I can reserve it. So, can you drive me to the colonoscopy? And I said Maria sure thing. I'll drive you to this colonoscopy And We get there or we're driving It's a painfully awkward car ride there where she's telling me about why she needs to get this colonoscopy

and At the end of it the end of day, I come back from work. She's back home now. She's telling me that like, oh, how thankful she is for this for me taking to the colonoscopy. And I'm like, yeah, no problem. And then she takes a deep breath and she's like, I'm sorry, but what's your name again? She did that. Wow. Hey, Connor, would you write a book, my man?

I'll write the forward for it. Let's see what we can do with you. That's a great short story. Oh, God. short story. Oh god. And so Connor, we're in a situation here where you're living with a maniac again. Yeah. And is the question on this follow-up, how do we get rid of Marie? Well, we don't have to go that extreme, I'd say. But if there's a way that we can figure out how that she can start acting with some roommate etiquette, that would be great. If we can't figure that out, though, I'm always down for how Roberto and I get her to a new Airbnb or something. I mean, here's, here's, uh, here's what I honestly think. I don't think this is a fight fire with fire.

I don't think this is an out Marie Marie. I think this is a good old case of sometimes you're in a bunker and your enemies in a bunker and you're fighting for a line in the middle and you just got to wait it out. She's got to disappear in the middle of the night like Cindy. So I would say water the flower that is the relationship with Roberto and let Marie eventually, you know, you could always just for the fun of it, try to out Marie Marie, start walking around in a towel. Uh, you could try to use her stuff as stuff as, you know, like her strainers, but that doesn't really work. You could ask her every day what her name is.

But I don't think you're going to make a dent in this one. The issue with someone who is kind of that lacks inhibition on that level is that it's a hard one to fight fire with because she likes fire. Yes. So what, the only thing I could think of would be is if you could find someone to maybe replace her to try to get into that living situation

that you have vetted in your actual life. If there's someone who's also an intern that you work with or if that's any way to. Nah, he doesn't want a normal intern in there You're Connor you're running a circus out of this. Well, you let you like the freak show Connor. Is that what's going on? It's I don't know if I like it, but it is fun when every day I get to have a story to tell my parents like Here's what we got to jump off Connor. Here's what I'm truthfully asking Well, you call back in three months and just yeah, the update is just simply what's happening

And you have a great pre you're living in a premise of a sitcom Kevin Let's start calling Connors follow-up with with Connor just what's up with Connors roommates? Uh-huh And Connor's corner Connors corner, and then you want to just have a corner of our show, Connor, where you just call in and give us some quick updates. We don't get advice. We just thank you. Okay. Yeah. And the Babble play with Roberta would be awesome. Yeah. So we're going to contact you with Babble and we're going to see if we can make that happen. And Connor, we appreciate you. And I mean, you're living a hilarious life man. Yeah, I appreciate you promo code shark teeth. Thank You Connor Good going there good It's me. It is Connor and the guy who called about the Connor weird room dude

So this is our third I? Know I'm like Connor just people probably know you now. You're a friend of the show at the Connor Will you set up your first two calls the floor is yours? The first situation the second situation and then where we're at so the first situation I when I moved down to Florida for a job and I had to get an Airbnb rental. And the first rental I was rooming with two senior citizens, Roger and Cindy, they were not a couple,

but Roger was very much into cleaning the common area for himself. Cindy had backed off and I was calling in to see if I could figure a way out to get this area back from the senior citizen. The second call was about Roger and Maria, who were two new roommates that moved into this house. And Roger, I mean, Roberto, it is Roberto.

Roberto, Roberto. Oh, right. It was Roberto and Maria. Right, right. It was Roberto and Maria. Right. And Roberto didn't speak a lick of English and he would go around. He was your buddy. He was, yeah, he was a nine finger construction worker

and Maria was in there trying to like really make the place her own and kind of put people at odds in the house and Roberto and I were not feeling it. Quick question, Connor. This is a one bathroom place yeah you're all sharing one John? This house no I had my own bathroom. Okay respect it changes it yeah that's a big change okay keep going. They shared their own yes. Okay God bless. Anyway now I am calling now for the third time where I have now been to a new house with new people What do we got this well, I left the other house after Roberto left he completed his construction job It's an excellent Costco. By the way, I'd recommend it to anybody. Thank you very much. Shout out

Costco construction somewhere in Florida. Yeah, he gets it. Then Maria and I are there and within just about like two hours of us being the only two people in the house, she wants to start. They won't. They started a fucking will they won't they have all the ages? He wants to start a cleaning schedule for the bathroom that I do not use. Ah, between you and her. The do you want me to like participate? Yeah.

Participate in cleaning the bathroom that I do not use. Do you want her to clean? Do you want her to clean yours? At that point, I was basically just out. I was like, oh, I was kind of taken back when she asked. And she's like, oh, you could have me just do it by myself And I was like, okay, Mario, what's what's going on here? And so anyway, he ended up that was the final straw I immediately went on Airbnb and tried to find a new place to live

And get it. I have now found this place It's on the road. It's a traveling circus. I have to wipe my roommates ass. Yeah, it's good. I'm sorry. Sleep with the elephants and one lion, but life has been good. I highly recommend the freight train

with a merman and, uh, so the new place is a new place is with a 75 year old pest control man Who is a deep state conspiracy believer and the only thing else he loves more are tic-tacs and smoking cigarettes Your picks and roommates my king good lord Yeah, it is how about a couple of 25 year old geeks just looking for somebody to chip in a little bit Yeah, don't those exist near college. I mean honestly that's not Connor aren't you gonna find that kind of Connor?

It's not that's not Would be a fish out of water and he couldn't breathe there he walks in he sees a 24 year old girl going like Hi, I'm just he's like get me out of here He sees one guy an 80 year old guy with two fingers smoking a cigarette and he just goes I see a roommate I'm home Sometimes when I run the garbage disposal my nipples and he's like hey buddy As he's driving if there's a building and one of the windows has smoke coming out. He's home It's like there's always a new pope. Yeah.

So 75 years old pest control, uh, I know who these people are before I get in. Look, you're the light for the weirdo mods. Can we be honest? Yeah. But so an Airbnb you're going, you're paying before you you go and you meet correct. Yeah No, it's you book it and then like they say Interesting I gotcha, but your dice rolls are our gold. Yes. Yes. That's right. Keep going and anyway, this guy also has a roommate and

This roommate is He's a snowbird. He comes down to Florida from Minnesota during the winters. But he himself described it as he doesn't leave the house. Hmm. That's not great. How old is this cat? This guy is about 50. Okay.

Young guy, young guy. Yeah. He's a kid. Yeah. Little puppy dog. Is he, is he a silver fox or do you still have color up there? Little puppy dog. No, he is a silver fox. Absolutely. Okay. Well, some people go gray early. What's his vibe? His vibe is very much like the original Cindy vibe. He came out of his room twice. The one time was when I asked him if I needed to move my car for him. He himself said, I don't really leave the house.

So you're fine. I think okay. And so it sounds like that Cindy 2.0 and 75 SIGs. He basically back to Roger and Cindy. I am. And I guess this time with this version of Roger Bill and I, we've been having a food feud, and you could call it, I guess, where he likes to make himself a lot of food

for himself there. And then he kind of realizes he made a lot and then he offers it to people. And so the first time he said, oh, do you want to add like some spaghetti? I was like, sure, I'll have some spaghetti. I didn't like how he made his spaghetti, but I had a few bowls and I was like, alright, I'm gonna be like bowls He said bites are okay. Is it bowls?

What are you gonna do you're gonna have just the one one ball and say thank you. So most people One bowling out. Yeah, if you don't like it, I had you have to play it up a little. You gotta give him some satisfaction. I gotta tell you from Connor, from Roger's point of view, Phil's point of view, he might be calling in saying, I made some spaghetti. I offered it to my kid roommate. He had multiple bowls of spaghetti.

Kid housed it. I offered him a bowl. He wanted, he had said, get the bowl. He said, get another bowl. I said, okay, said, get the bowl. He said, get another bowl. I said, okay, I'll get another bowl. Okay, so you need a bunch of bowls of spaghetti. And so then after that though,

every once in a while he'd make himself food. But when he does like the spaghetti, he dumped a lot of olive oil on it. And that wasn't for me. I wasn't a big fan. Six bowls later, you're like, I don't like this. Yeah. Can I finish it? Yeah. I'm going to eat this entire cake, but I didn't like it too much butter.

So then on, I'm always bringing in my own food to eat and he cooks the food before I get there. And every once in a while I was like, oh, do you want some food? food? I got in the fridge and I was like, no, like I got my own Food, thanks. He goes. Oh, well if you want it's there tomorrow. I'm like, okay, that's fine Tomorrow comes around. I brought back some food. He hears me come in and he's like, oh You know, I can just put it in the oven for you right now. He doesn't know that food I was talking about. Yeah, this is a weird we this is becoming a weird guy. It's strange Why does he want to feed you you're just a little from Airbnb? It's like a good problem and not a problem, but it's a weird problem, but I gotta tell you if I'm Connor no Meghusta

Yeah, yeah cool it. I don't like your weird food man And it's grand maternal. It's not shared economics. It's not like we all pitch into a fun. I buy my food, you buy your food. We just share the fridge, my king. Yes, but he gets somewhat funny passive aggressive when I turned him down there. Give us a taste of what that passive aggressive vibe

feels like. So I come back, he's like, oh, I'll put it in the oven for you. I got some food. I got some food You know, I don't know. I've got some Panera and he kind of just stares and he goes I made a lot of food Connor I'm like I understand though. Like there's gonna be a lot to put away here. I Get that He's like, you know, I don't even know if I have the fridge space to put all this food away I'm sorry to hear that though

Then he starts like doing something big moaning and groaning. What kind of food is he favoring? Noodles he is it noodles Not the other day. He made a deep-fried pork shoulder. I believe he called it. Jesus fucking Christ Yeah, that's guys an animal. Okay, so we're seeing the situation there. Cindy 2.0 you don't see. Philly's trying to fatten you up for the kill. What do you think, Connor? Where are we at on this one?

What are we gonna do? Well, if he's also fattening me up, he's also trying to sweat me out too, because he doesn't turn on the AC in this house. So, and we're in Florida. It's not great. It's not great. Holy shit, man.

He's full of pork shoulder and sweating. What a disgusting situation. He's got to sweat the shoulder out. Holy fuck, Connor. What are we going to do here? How do we get out of this one? You're going to stay, you're going to leave? I mean, I don't know. I think we're okay here. You do we get out of this one? You're gonna stay? You're gonna leave?

I think we're okay here. You do? Yeah, I do. I think that it's like, I think you're okay. I think what you could do is you could say you're trying to lose a little bit of weight before the summer and be very pleasant in that way. Yeah. Maybe pick him up a little something from Panera one of these days, hand that off to him, kind of a mea culpa. Yeah. Maybe pick him up a little something from Panera one of these days, hand that off to him, kind of a mea culpa.

Yeah. And then I think what we have with you, Connor, and I want us to preserve the honesty of these situations because it's so great, is we just need to keep knowing what Airbnb holes you find yourself in. Because it is, even if it's boring, it's interesting. Yeah. I mean, you really are, you play roommate roulette and it is. Fantastic.

So Connor, what are you going to do here? My guy, what's the move? Are you going to just grit and bear it or you want to move here? I mean, I might have to start looking at the moving. That's what I do. But do you like, Oh, how about this? How about this? Con I got an idea.

Where is the switch for the AC? The AC it's near it's pretty close to his room actually it's not in not in but not in his room no and you guys share the utilities bill I'm sure it's a third a third a third I'm pretty I mean I whatever it is I just pay for the room so yeah probably yeah but it's included so it's included so you know what I do if I'm you and you walk in turn that bitch on that's what I included so you know what I do if I'm you when you walk in turn that bitch on That's what I do and you know what else I do when he offers your food

You don't have to be nice about it. You just say no, thanks And he goes well, there's a lot of food and you go that sounds like a you problem not a me problem Wow, I got a bad release and you can be nice and then you go yeah, then you go it smells good my man You go I think I would I would start turning the AC on and I think yeah You just go oh, no. Thanks. I just am like really I'm on like a calorie count right now Yeah, and then if he says if he turns it off go hey my my king I need I'm sweating in here I Need a little bit colder. Yeah, and if he goes no you go now We got an issue, and then we can figure it it out But he's just stepping forward if this was

Jiu-jitsu Fine if this is chess He's moving his piece of an arm bar. He's moving his pieces. No near your king You're not gonna win if you just keep defended It's just gonna be a matter of time before he pinches you out. I would start pushing the AC, Connor. You gotta start slowly pushing back, take away his knight, take away his bishop,

kill off some of his pawns, and then very quickly, you and Cindy 2.0. I guarantee Cindy 2.0 is baking in that room. Yeah, she's like a pork shoulder. It's hot as hell. Maybe I can bring it up, but I can't be going up immediately out the gate just pressing the AC. Like that's the one rule that you could do and you know in somebody's house here. Can't touch the guy's AC. Look, you can

always, someone can always make themselves warmer. So tell them to put on a sweater if there's an issue, but I would push it. And again, let's say it doesn't work. You're him to put on a sweater if there's an issue. But I would push it and again let's say it doesn't work you're gonna move situations and that's good news for everybody. Especially us. Yes and what do you so what do you think Connor? What do you what are you gonna actually do my man? I mean I'm like I gotta start dropping some hints probably like we'll be walking by and like wow it's really warm in here or something like that. Like subtle things here. And I got a question. I got a question. And I'm going to take it nice

and slow for Gareth inside joke. You know what I mean, Garth? Yeah. So I got a question. So I got a question. Why do you have to ask about the AC if the switch is available to you? Just turn it on. I would do that. Just turn it on. You don't think it leads to more problems here? No, it's a shared space. You are paying for the AC AC it gets the conversation going if he turns it off then you're hot

You could say like hey, man. Do you know what state we're in and also you're in there cooking pork shoulder? You're not a rest. I mean, it's gonna heat the place up. You are deep frying pork in Florida in a box Yeah, it is well far within your rights to turn it on and at least start the conversation You are deep frying pork in Florida in a box. Yeah, it is far within your rights to turn it on and at least start the conversation. Will you at least, and look, Connor, you've already said you're already considering the sneak out plan and another one,

but before you do it, can you experiment with just turning the AC on and see how that goes before you go? And let us know, please. It's not over, Gareth. I got 19 more questions. I will try. I will try for you guys.

You are going to try? I will try. And before you go, could you very quietly and very slowly do the alphabet frontwards and backwards and... Connor, it was great to catch up with you. We appreciate the call. And let us know how this goes. Gareth has to go. He's got another podcast he has to run to. and Connor it was great to catch up with you we appreciate the call and We love you

Name please I think that's me. I'm Carly. I'm 31 and I love hedgehogs. Where are you calling from? I'm calling from New York, but I'm from Vancouver, which I mentioned because it's relevant to my call. Okay. So Carly take over. All right. Sure. Um, so, uh, Vancouver, I was assuming you've been there, Hollywood North. It, great place. Beautiful place, but it had a milder climate when I was growing up. And of course, climate change has ruined that.

So now it gets so hot in the summer that air conditioning is a necessity where it used to be a luxury. So my problem is with my 75-year-old dad who lives there by himself in an old house that gets really really hot. He did buy a couple of portable air conditioning units for me to use when I visit but he won't use them when he's around. This old son of a bitch won't turn it on. Exactly!

You already know. I am that guy. He's alone most of the time. He just cooks in his own juice. Yeah, extreme hate is really dangerous for a senior. Garrett knows what I'm saying. And it got so bad when I was just living with him he just cooks in his own juice. Yeah. Extreme hate is really dangerous for a senior and it got so bad when I was visiting last year that he had to take me to the hospital for heat stroke.

You got heat stroke in his house? Yes. Jesus. Okay. Yeah. Really? Gross. Too much. Gross. Yeah. Okay. So it's honestly really stressful. Yeah, I understand. I fully understand. So what's Dad's first name? What are we calling him? His name is Terry. Terry? So Terry, he didn't grow up with that AC.

He's a Canadian boy. Up in Canada, he doesn't need an AC. But the world has changed, but Terry hasn't changed with the world. He likes to soak in his own juice. He doesn't even think, he's just like, I'm not turning it on, I'm not spending money for this shit. Is it about the money or is it about principle,

you think, Carrie? It's very much not about the money, and I think it's a pride thing, which I don't understand, but I'm hopeful that you do. I do. It doesn't make any sense to me, because if you're hot, would't you want to be cool? Weird lines in the sand?

You got to live by them. Well, without without weird lines, what are we doing? Well, that's why he's creating a desert. So I guess. All right. So why don't you just say your exact question? What do I get my dad to turn the AC on? How do I convince my ridiculous father to turn on his air conditioning so I don't need

to stress out about him every day? What kind of air conditioner does he have? He has two portable units. They're large ish thinking what I'm thinking. No I'll tell you what I just started thinking there Carrie and this is a really weird run a mile to go a block They've got these nest ACS that are controlled via Wi-Fi. Wow. You can set up a Nest in his house and control his Wi-Fi from your house and never tell him. Oh my god.

That's true. So Nest, so there's a Nest thing that I have, and that is I could turn the AC in my house on right now. Your central air. Yes. Okay. And I could cool it down, I could do whatever. I have access to it through an app.

So you can control his AC from your phone. But he doesn't have AC. He just has portable things. Is that right? He doesn't have like central air. I understand. So he just has like one little box in a window. Is that right? He doesn't have like central air I understand so he just has like one little box in a window. Is that right? Does it even matter are they like little weird portable ways? They're not little there You know, they're a decent size and you know you know, but no they're like, I don't know on wheels the little

Yeah, those things they don't really do much The little R2D2 guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know those things. They don't really do much. But it'll help. They'll do more than nothing. Yeah, so the question is, and then are you worried, Carrie, about when you're not there,

or are you just in general, it's stressing you out, you want your dad to cool down, and how can you do it, or is it when you visit? I'm worried about the accumulation. Like, I'm thinking that heat damage, or whatever it is, the older people probably, I mean, it was acute for me. I had to go to the hospital, but I'm just worried about him being in... All right.

I don't actually know the Fahrenheit conversion. Almost 100 degrees every day in the summer. Look, Carly, it is bad. Yeah. Okay. So, let me ask you this. Let's say money is not an issue. What do you want? You want him to have? Central air or just turn it on I want him to turn it on

Okay Have an idea good. You got nothing. I got something but I need a minute go Okay, someone said Jake having this kind of technology knowledge is throwing us off I'm thrown by that said, Jake, having this kind of technology knowledge is throwing us off. Yeah. Fair. Yeah. Fair. Yeah. I'm thrown by that. This feels like a classic time, Gareth, for a video

that we could send the audio to Dad. You're so right. Right? And I don't really know what... We do a fake podcast. We do a fake podcast about older men... Yes. ...in climates that have changed

and the importance of colder air for longevity. Okay, longevity and why don't we have a message. If only we had a caller who had experience with older men in warm climate. What are you talking about, Kevin? Hello, is anyone else on the call? Yeah, I'm gonna think that's my time here. Hey guys, this is Connor. I'm the guy who's called

When were we talking about him we were talking about Connor the other day Okay, Connor. I don't know Carly. Do know Connor is? I know that he's a legend. Yeah. Okay. So Connor ends up living in an Airbnb with senior citizens all the time. And he's very good at picking sides, playing the game, figuring out how to crack the code of the elder mind. Just excellence. Well, why don don't we why don't we let Connor talk okay Connor what are you thinking you got anything Connor have you heard the setup on this yep i've been listening to the setup here and i mean all right what do you think the way right now i picture Connor cracking his knuckles in a desk chair with his feet up and he just put

his arms behind his head i've had that headshot when I was going commercials. I wish I didn't. That's awful news. Connor, what's up my man? What do we do here? Well, I mean your your logic is sound with this nest thing and it could work but as you said before people are gonna have a line in the sand and a guy 75 years old that line's in the sand and you need to show them that that line that line is a wrong line. That's right. So what I'm saying here is it could it could be far, but you might have to smoke them out here. There's got to be a limit where he is too hot.

It's too hot. No, Connor. Jesus Christ. Hold on. I think you're wrong, but I think Connor, your Connor, your pitch is to turn the heat on. I think you're wrong, but I think I don't know. Just to be clear, Connor, your Connor, your pitch is to turn the heat on. I'm saying obviously we're within health reasons here. Health safety, of course. Yeah. But he need like there has to be an understanding where

there's a limit for this guy. And he realizes like, OK, AC is needed. And once you get to the point where we're not going to we're not going to. We're talking about the sauna technique and we're not gonna sauna Terry. But what I love, what I love is how long Jake was on board with anything you said. Me too, me too. I was. Jake was like, Connor, cook baby.

You're totally right. Connor, go baby. Let him cook. Connor, go. Speak the gospel, Connor. Connor, we're about to do a video for Terry and it's just gonna be an audio one we're gonna send to her dad. But before we do that, my friend, how's life? Life is pretty good. I have left the Florida Airbnb situation and now I'm living in Salem, Massachusetts with a new roommate.

In an Airbnb? Not Airbnb, but recommended from a friend. Like, didn't know the guy before him. How old is the roommate? Seventy-eight. Thirty-four. So we're navigating down. Whoa! We're navigating down.

Connor, I gotta say, for you I'm happy, for us I'm sad. A baby. Yeah. A baby. Well, you might like this then. Talk to me. When he got introduced to me, it's like everyone only called him Dirty Mike. And no one has explained why he's Dirty Mike.

What would be your guess? Well, that's the thing. He has been immaculately clean since I've lived here. And I am worried for when this... No, because there's obviously going to be a shoe drop. And I don't know when that shoe's going to drop. Connor, will you tell us three weird things that's going on in your life, my man? What's going on up in Salem?

Where they used to have burned witches. Oh, that's a weird thing. I'll give you another... What's cooking these days? One weird thing is I'm taking up a part-time gig up here where I'm gonna be navigating the tours, like the ghost tours there. Oh, great!

Hold on, what's the name of the company? And if anybody's in Salem, they can request you. Oh. Yeah, I think it's Ghost Tours of Salem. Something or... Okay, hey, you let us know when we have it, and we will post it on the social. By the way, living with all those people near death

is really gonna help you with doing a ghost tour. But you would be a great tour guide. Oh, yeah. And do not be afraid to go off script my king I'll tell you what a lot of people a lot of people feel like I gotta say all these talking points the tour began Not you you are somewhere in the basement. Just start riffing. Yeah, go make up what happened in that elevator What you said they get either one? Yeah, even what's written? Yeah, no, they get it was a ghost their name. They can't prove it make up the gun and worst case you were possessed You Connor they're in your world, yeah, so really quick Terry now, I'm sorry Carly

Yeah, we're gonna make a little thing to your dad Does that sound good to you Carly if we go that route we make a little fake podcast clip that you could play for your father Oh, I'm I'm really hopeful. I'm willing to try anything. Yeah. Before we start, we need a little bit of info. Can you tell us a little bit more about your dad and Connor, I need you to listen cause you're going to be with us on this, but if you're willing. So Terry is 35. He's from Vancouver.

Does he have any health issues? Well, he's 75. So he's got health issues that go with that. He tells everyone about his enlarged prostate, but I don't think that has anything to do with it. No, no, no, we can use that. It's hyper-specific. Okay, good. He's just a ridiculous person.

Like, people describe him as a character. He's very stubborn, always laughing, always joking, but then he's also very concerned about the safety of everyone around him. What is he, a Gemini? He's an Aries. Okay. Just a sign.

Crazy. That's the first time I'm hearing that. That's not okay. He's an Aries? Stop. He's an Aries. I know, right? That's the first time I'm hearing that. That's not okay. He's an Aries? Stop. He's an Aries, I know, right? That's crazy. What's crazy is what Jake just said about the Gemini

and the way that he's acting like what's happening. What's crazy is Gareth is such a cancer right now. Back to you, Carly. Oh, cancer men, watch out. Ugh, can you believe it? Jake. Gag me with a spoon. What just happened?

So, Carly, is there anything else we can say in this? Because I think the move for us, and you tell us if this is wrong, but I think and Connor, obviously, we're all gonna be thinking. Well, this is Moe and Piggly. I don't think we go that big. We gotta go, so I don't think we think

about the comedy of it. It could still be Moe and Piggly. To a 75 year old man guard? Hey, you wanna hear a, I can Charlie Rose and Moe and Piggly. His favorite panel is CNN, if that adds anything. Like he takes facts very seriously. Garrett is just having drinks and wants to do pigly.

I want to say I want to be pigly. So what should we do? Should we have like a CNN podcast? I think we do a series, yes. Okay. And I think, because we're trying to get her dad to believe this and turn it on. Okay.

So I think you and I are hosts of a very serious podcast. I'm flexible on the name and Connor. Could the name be CNN's Mo and Pigly? Yes. Okay, great. I think that's fair. Glad to do business with you, my friend. I do want to do CNN, Dr. Mo and Dr. Pigly.

I absolutely do. Can I pitch Dr. Mo and Mr. Pigly? Yes, of course. Thank you very much. 100%. I don't know why you wanted to be Mr. Not a Doctor. I want to be the guy who I'll be the interviewer of the doctor. Okay, but but I also like the way Mr. Pigly sounds. Connor is our star. Okay, so Dr. Moe, Mr. Pigly, and Connor can be the guest. We don't want to put too much on Connor.

Connor, do you want a lot, a little, or medium? Because I think you can handle a lot. I think I can handle a lot. I'm interested to see where it goes. Yeah. Okay. Well, Connor, just so you know, what we're going to need from you is we're going to need kind of the dangers of being a senior and not having the AC on, not having the AC on, especially in areas like Canada, which are heating up at rates that we were and I'm going to give you some kind of big prostate. Yeah. But I'm going to give you something. The reason why Connor is the heat enlarges of the prostate further you guys want seconds or can I have these okay and the AC is actually known to shrink the prostate well how about this not the AC cold

temperature but yes a house that has a mean temperature of around 70 degrees is known. Helps the body. It helps longevity. It helps healing. Okay. Heat exacerbates current medical conditions for senior citizens. So Connor, do you feel confident? Oh yeah. I got that. I got that. Okay.

Are you sure? Yeah. You know, just lead me into it and I got it for you. Yes. Carly, if this works, because we're going to try to do a quick, will you sure? Yeah, you're seeing I'll leave me into it and I got it for you. Yes, Carly Yeah, if this works because we're gonna try to do a quick will you actually send this to your dad and then follow up with us? Oh in a heartbeat. Yes. Okay. All right. We're gonna call you Connor Salem Okay, so Professor Connor Salem. All right. So is everybody ready to try this? We're gonna try to get it in one guys No, and we're gonna do it in three.

No, let's get it in one. Okay. Hey, not because of me. Piggly's ready to go, asshole. Piggly's wild. Mr. Piggly's. My mom's hating this. This is not for your mom. It is, it is.

Hang in there. You're being more wild than me. I've been very controlled. Kevin, you think that's true? Don't let the drunk lifeguard decide who's wild. So I'm Dr. Moe,'re mr. Piggly Connor your car Let's do an intro agreed and CNN. Yes All right ready. Yeah ready. Mm-hmm. I say a little CNN swoosh into it. I love it. Okay

Okay, and welcome back to Dr. Mo, mr. Piggly, We're happy to be here again today. We've been talking about the heat and what the heat is doing in certain communities. I actually find this so interesting. And this is a problem that affects everybody. But I also didn't realize that the temperature of your home can affect your health. I think that's the thing. And that's why we're going to bring in our guests in a second.

But a lot of people think it's just the external temperatures that really mess with you. You know, Mr. Piggly, you're. Go ahead. mess with you. You know, you know, mr. Bigley your Go ahead. What's going on? Yeah, go ahead. Dr. Moe You're 100% right because I remember when I was growing up what just happened to you though. It felt like the heat took you Your body your throat rejected Oh, I saw. I mean, your body, your throat rejected saying it. It didn't want to say it. Yeah, you were allergic to it.

I think we're going to win here. By the way, I called it in three. Yes, let's do it. That was my fault. Yep. All right, ready? Yes. Be professional.

Three, two, one. And welcome back to Dr. Mo, Mr. Piggly, CNN podcast. Here we are today. We're talking about heat. The heat is something that affects everybody. The heat's been getting more and more. This summer is the hottest summer on record. Mr. Piggly.

It absolutely is, Dr. Piggly. Did you have any idea that the temperature within the home affected the health and longevity this much? It makes sense, but I really didn't. I think people always think of the- The external. It's the external. So older people have notorious,

I always go into the Florida's or the Arizona's, but now the studies are coming out that the colder temperature within the home. Yes, and that's we're going to bring in our guests in a second. Dr. Connor Salem. But but before we do. Yeah. I think that is one thing that really we are so interested in.

Everybody has someone in their life who's a little bit older and we really need to take care of them. And the way that it can exacerbate health conditions they already have. I just never thought that the air conditioner was our friend. Heart conditions, breathing problems, prostate enlargement. If you have an enlarged prostate you turn on the AC and it might go down. Okay, well why don't we bring in our guest. This is a Professor Connor Salem.

Connor or Professor Salem, sorry. I was shocked when I read your paper. Now you are basically suggesting that a senior citizen's house has to be kept at around 70 degrees in order for them to get through some of these extreme heats. Is that right? Yes, gentlemen, I am. It took a lot of years of studying and a lot of years of doing clinical trials, but at the end of it, we did get some conclusive results actually. And what were those studies you did,

Connor? So we were seeing how temperature affects the elderly there. And what we found out at the end of it, surprisingly, was that if you are over the age of 70 and you have a heat temperature that is above 85 degrees in your house, your prostate is 12 times likely to enlarge. So, Connor, I just have a question here because I find this fascinating. Well put, though. What if it wasn't as hot as 85? What if it was, say, 80? Well, then we were saying- Or 75. Well, then it becomes more like an 11 or 10, but it's usually anything 85 and above was 12 percent. OK, so I thought you three.

Galler, 85 is so hot. You don't need an AC to get it below 85. We're going to say 70. We need like 70. We need it. It's got to be way colder. Connor, I'll start at seven. I thought we were going there. 85, that's like there's a fire in the house, man.

I'll tell you what Terry's gonna say is, I'm good. But, Connor, you see? I don't have a fire in my living room. I thought I'd compromise at 85 is so much better. No, 85 is crazy. We're not trying to compromise, man, 75 years old. Connor, you're doing great. Okay.

We gave you some notes. Let's go way colder. You feel, yeah, colder. And we're all hoping for our setup too. This all has to be under two minutes, guys. It has to be. That's a note for me, Connor. Don't worry.

So we're all getting notes. I don't think, Karli, you tell me, is your dad gonna listen to a nine minute clip? He watches CNN. Honestly, you guys put prostate enlargement in that. He's listening, absolutely. Okay. Okay. You get it in the beginning. We're going back. So Connor, it got to be a little bit colder. My guy. Yeah. We're talking 72 degrees.

We want him to feel he has to turn it on 10 hours. He has to stand in front of it and just not have a burning fire in his house. The secret to the old fashioned is the Luxardo cherry. It adds a little sweetness. And Kevin, I'm a shark. By the way, Kevin's talking like Terry. Okay, here we go. We're back in. All right. All right, and welcome back to Dr. Mo and Mr. Piggly.

A podcast that always investigates something that's affecting citizens of this great country of ours. This is so... just an interesting one, Mr. Piggly. Well, we've been digging into it. I had no idea. Well, I think one of the things we love about doing this show is CNN is able to give you the broad strokes, but we get down to the nitty gritty.

Yeah, but I'll tell you, Mr. Piggly, the thing for me, I always believed it. So, sorry, audience, I'm jumping ahead because I'm excited. But we're talking about internal temperatures, temperatures within the home affecting your health. Well, to contextualize it a little bit more, we're all dealing with extreme heat. This summer's been the hottest summer on record.

And so we're wondering, okay... Even here in Vancouver. Well, and you always say, yeah, I mean, anywhere. I mean, I never had an AC when I was growing up, did you? No, I did not. You didn't need one, though. But health-wise, we need one now. Didn't need one, though. But the way that the heat is now sort of exacerbating things

that people already have, conditions that people already have, especially seniors. But did you know that everybody, but especially seniors, but did you know that it affects your prostate? If you have a large prostate and you take your AC on... It exacerbates anything. Let's get to our guest. Okay, but it exacerbates heart conditions,

it exacerbates breathing, but enlarged prostate is a big one. But Mr. Pigley, I believed this was just the sun. Okay, we're very excited to have our guest here because he's a professor who's written a lot on this. Loves his podcast. And he's got a great podcast called The Salem Trial, because his last name's Salem. Professor Conor Salem, now he wrote a lot about the idea

of how important it is to keep your home cool. We think that the heat outside is what gets us, but it's actually, and you can jump in here, Professor Salem, it's actually the heat inside your house We think that the heat outside is what gets us, but it's actually, and you could jump in here, Professor Salem, it's actually the heat inside your house that can be the problem. Is that right? That is absolutely right, Mr. Pagley. You've been hitting a lot of it on the nose already. I see why you're a professional at this.

But... Well, thank you. And I'm not even the doctor on this show. Well, both of us. I'm not even the doctor on this show. Both of us are professionals. All right, Mo. Go ahead, go ahead, Professor Salem.

But yeah, so I've done a lot of research lately. So you went to school for a while. Both of us are professionals. All right, Mo. Go ahead, go ahead, Professor Sandler. Dr. Mo. Yeah, okay. So I've done a lot of research lately. So you went to school for a while. Go ahead. Sorry about that, Professor Sandler. Yes. So I went to, did some clinical trials, and we were discovering whether heat had an effect on the senior citizen population.

And what we found at the end of it- Right, that's what you focused in on. ... was that if you had the house over the temperature of 72 degrees Fahrenheit, your prostate was 12 times likely to be enlarged. Wow. Wait, I'm sorry, doctor. Did you say 72? Over the temperature of 72 degrees.

Yes. Wow. So, naturally, a home is anywhere from 71 to 75. So, are you saying that people should keep their AC on, even if that's not their personal preference for their health? It is for the betterment of their life, the quality of their life. If they are looking for better health results,

it starts with the AC. So, but can I just jump in quickly? Because I know I have elder parents and I think to some extent they think that living in a hot house is kind of a point of pride or it maybe helps them. So you're saying- Or my father's pretty stubborn.

Oh, you should see. You think Dr. Moe is stubborn. I'll tell you behind the scenes, he really is. But his father is a nightmare. His father is a nightmare. Your father's a nightmare. His father is a nightmare. But what we're really, what we're trying to drill down on is you're basically saying that it's important for them to keep that temperature down.

It's a point of pride. It exacerbates all conditions. Question for you Mr. Piglin, what was that whole tangent you just did? Yeah. Is it to attack me personally? Years of research have shown. I met your father. He was...

Oh, hi. Your father was very upset. I don't know why you'd interrupt the interview. He's crazy. Your father was very your father your father visited your father visited the set of the podcast one day. I understand but it's crazy. And he was very upset there was an oatmeal. It was crazy.

And I saw where you got it from. But Professor Salem, so... So it's very... So, Professor Salem, so you're saying it's very important for the seniors, especially those with any health conditions. Just keep that temperature down. Yes, if they have the ability, 70 degrees and lower will improve their prostate

and will improve their brain function. But the cooler, the better. Fascinating. Let's hold on. Now, hold on one second, Carly, because we can cut out that middle part, right, Kevin? So, everything besides the weird tangent where Gareth and I blew it, I think that's pretty good, Carly.

What do you think? I definitely agree. You also got me excited about central air and maybe just sneaking out into his house, but I think I'm Let's just do an agenda. Let's just do an agenda. Let's do an agenda. Okay, let's do an agenda No, no, no, I think I got this. I think the podcast got it Okay, okay. You're happy. Oh, I mean if you Okay, are you gonna send this clip? Oh, yeah, absolutely

We'll do a CNN swish all that So Kevin will cut out the middle. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hey Connor. Yep Connor great work. We love you big man. We love you, buddy Please tell us what's going on in Salem with these tours and we will get when you find out why he's dirty Mike Let us know please. Yeah, he's gonna drop Carly thank you for the call All right. Thank you. Thank you guys. Thank you guys. And Carly, thank you for the call. Alright, thank you, Connor. Thank you, Carly. Thank you, guys.

Thanks, Carly. Thanks, Connor. Thanks, everybody. Producer Sherlock here. We have a little update from Connor. Connor, take it away. Hey, everybody. This is Connor. Got one more life update for you guys. Hey everybody, this is Connor. Got one more life update for you guys.

I'm still living in Salem with Dirty Mike. I now know why he's called Dirty Mike. And it's because back in college, he was an amateur mud wrestler. I also do not know how I keep finding these people. But other than that, I'm a teacher now, and I've realized that do working with kids is way harder than living in those Airbnbs with Roger, Roberto, Maria, and Bill. Wanna thank all you guys for lending an ear,

hearing about some of those crazy stories, and thank you to Gareth and Jake for giving me advice during some of those trying times. If you guys are ever looking for a story of yourself, look no further than Airbnb Shared Space, because I guarantee it will not disappoint. Thank you guys, it's been fun. This whole thing's been awesome. ["We're Here to Help"]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you wanna watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're here to help pod to see our entire

catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix and master by Chris Fowler. Themed song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strilecki, and if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrents.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. Hey, I'm Tony Hale.

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