We're Here to Help - 168: I Feel Barfy & An I Love You, Man Situation

Episode Date: May 5, 2025

Gareth and Jake meet Virginia, a 7-ft doll made of yarn who is looking for a new lease on life. Later, they help a new dad find a golf buddy. Plus, a follow-up from Ep. 161 "That's the Sauce," featuring Stone, who definitely doesn't have a foot fetish.See caller images here!Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Gemini. Oh, Jake, it is. To us, Gemini was an American gladiator. But not to the kids of today. We're talking exams, essays. This is stressful stuff. We went through it. We were on our own. But Gemini is offering something really great for college students. So if you are a listener of We're Here to Help and if you want a little extra help, Gemini Advanced is now free for college students in the United States of America. Sign up before June 30th and you'll get free access all the way through spring finals

2026. So Gareth, when you use Gemini, which we both use, what do you use it for and what do you like about it? There's sometimes like if there's a topic that I think I want to do stand up on or if there's sometimes like if I'm writing something for my other show, it's just like a way to kind of have something. It just gives you all the information and right away you go oh okay now I actually get this now I can personalize it visit Gemini dot Google slash students to learn more terms apply calling all ones and twos we're conducting an audience survey at gum gum dot FM slash here to help and we would love to hear from you so we can

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Have you been enjoying today so far, Gareth? Yeah. I'm giving a bell ring. Just to start us off. We're having a time. I'm home. Yeah. Everyone is good. You know what we've been doing this morning? We did some ads. We decided to do them together. Yeah.

And we decided to just record the whole thing and put it on Patreon. So if you like that sort of stuff, go to Patreon. And if you don't, then enjoy the free show. Fine, it's a free show, stop. So I got something that somebody wrote the show that I just wanna share with you. Interesting. Woman named Ariana.

Okay. Just gonna let you know that I know you as I've given your last name away. It starts with a C-H-A-M. You know what I'm saying, Ariana? Camomile. She wrote this at 4.58 a.m. Oof.

Well, but that could be, that could be an 8 a.m. East Coast. That's true, that's true. Hi, all. This might be TMI, but I don't think this adds anything. Wait, this might be TMI, plus I don't think this adds anything to Stone's call. But since I heard it and last week's call with Stone cameo, I've been thinking about this.

And maybe this is in Stone's defense? Not that there is anything wrong with it, but I do not have a foot fetish. That's everyone who has one. And I have never asked anyone to do anything with slash to my feet. That being said, Oh boy. 80% of the guys I have slept with in the last year have put my feet in their mouths completely unprompted. What?

There may be something in the air for men in their 20s and 30s. She must have great feet, but even then that's not a justification for that stat. Just think about it. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. My foot. What? Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. What? 80% of men in their 20s and 30s are sticking a ladies foot in their mouth.

Do you? Garrett, has the world gone utterly insane? Do you, it's gone topsy turvy. Do you, have you any interest, have even in your single days, the foot to me was never something. Now maybe if you're just getting out of a bath together, who knows?

Or maybe if you're doing the bath where you're sitting across from each other. Even then. Now this is the sort of thing if someone asked you to do it, no issue. Agreed. By the way, you're 100% right. Unprompted, no. But just for my benefit, no issue. Agreed. By the way, you're 100% right. Unprompted, no.

But just for my benefit, no interest. No way. No interest. There's other parts for the mouth that will work great. But also, she didn't say, post shower. No. Which means at a bar, dancing, hanging out, laughing,

socks on, getting in the sack, taking the socks off, taking the clothes off. I'm gonna stick these disgusting little piglets in my mouth. But let's be fair, Jake. There are, you know, let's say you're performing some other stuff. You don't necessarily go on what's the day been like. I agree, you don't think you could play

racquetball before this. Yeah, you might be. Because if you did, there'd be no babies made. No, no, there's's definitely certainly not with the mouth I'm talking mouth time. I agree. Okay. Yeah, how many he's made through the mouth And science is a wonderful thing here, but I but foot Stuff good it to me. It's a nice no interest

No, this is something I want to say is this an age divide. I don't know but This is something I want to say. Is this an age divide? I don't know, but this is something I want to say to the community, to the fan base. Mm-hmm. Stone has sent this show in a weird direction. And we are getting emails at 5 a.m. in Stone's defense. Now, we've never gotten stuff like this. Now, a lot of people have been mad, Gareth.

This is another thing. Of course. You know what people are mad about? Kink shaming. No. What? How we handled the denture call. Oh, interesting.

They do not like that a woman is shaming an employee for dentures. And they think all of us including, no it didn't. Okay, good. Okay, then I'm okay with it. Yeah, gender was, I just said she. Okay. Not only was the woman an asshole,

but the two hosts and the goofball who hosts high strangeness were also dog shit. Yeah. What a miss. And we got a lot of, I'm still a listener, but this one turned me off. Well, look, what's great is that, okay, that's noted. That's good to know. Next time we are weighing in, I mean, again, what we-

No, I disagree. I think it's just, look, this is a, I respect the opinion. I hear it. This, we're not, nothing's planned. We also... We're taking it in. By the way, if the woman without the teeth called in, it's a different session. That's exactly...

We're on the side of the caller. Exactly right. So we're trying to solve the caller issue. By no means are we heroes, which is what we've been called. Yeah, by us. Which is true. I still think that's right. I do too.

But I also think that I put myself in the position of going to a place to eat. Yeah. And I can tell the person has no teeth. I could have read the emails you don't read that I do. Just stop. That was a loss. They hated it. They hated it. So many like, guys, this was really in bad taste. And I think, I think the complaint was she can't help it.

Also, a lot of people were saying like, honest to God, she could get sued. As a boss, you are not allowed to send. And by the way, that's why at the end, Gareth put in something saying, make your own decisions. We are no, yeah, legally we're clear. Leave us alone. There was a few emails that said,

you guys are honestly on this one, if a boss sends something to the employee about maybe putting your dentures in, that's a lawsuit to which my thought was, I hear ya. But she was saying she was gonna put her in a different zone of the, we were in many ways trying to preserve the role that she- Can't you just accept the loss?

It's coming from a Bears fan. Ring the bell just to piss the people off. This is about the denture call. Just for all the emails and the comments. But to bring it back to the toe and the foot. Yeah, stony. It is interesting in general, but it's also interesting that the new cover boy for the feet,

he didn't want this battle. But I don't think, I think those 80% of those guys who are sucking toes don't think they have a foot fetish. I think we're in a new world where to them, that's not a fetish. To them they go, of course I sucked a random lady's toes. That's what sex is. See, it wouldn't, look, I have to full candor. I am a very straightforward person when it

comes to that. Like I'm not, look, you want to do a position shift, let's party. You want to get a little weird, that's fine. You are aging yourself in a way that you don't want to age yourself. I never asked for anything crazy. This goes against your boyish vibe. You just said, hey, I'm pretty much meat and potatoes. How long until I post a picture of me sucking toes being like, hate all you want?

And I have my teeth out. And you have a perm. And I have a perm with my teeth out, and I'm sucking toes. And then I go, Gareth. And you go, what? I've always loved sucking toes. Oh, yeah, get off my lawn old man. Leave me alone I'm with those guys that you sent me that podcast with the kids you talk about pizza toppings

They've never even know what guys like I like the meatball when there's cheddar on it And then it cuts to you and you go like this. I totally agree if you saw me in there The shave is as clean as possible. You know what you should do as a bit? I'll cut myself in. Cut yourself in with the perm and just all of a sudden it cuts to them and then if you can get the lighting to look the same and then if you go like yeah and it's just not even you doing jokes. My teacher hates when I do that. But don't end it at the end where you're winking and nodding. Just literally have a moment where it goes. You know who you're talking to. But then it goes to you and you've got the full perm

and you've got the Matt LaFleur beard. It's not a perm. And you literally. We're having fun, but to call it a perm is crazy. Fine, curling creams. Curls, beautiful curls. God-given curls. Not God-given, curl created from a curling cream.

That created for, it's enhanced. So. I really thought I was gonna sneak that one in. By the way, you don't have curling creams in right now. You don't have God given cream. There's a curl. Look at that. That's curly. You got one curl.

So then Garrett actually do that video. I do like that idea a lot. So and just don't even just slow, we'll post it on the show. Have you ever seen Kirby Jenner? I don't even know who that is. It's a guy who pretends he is a part of the Kardashians and he's invented this character called Kirby Jenner,

and he just cuts himself into, it's fucking, it's so fucking funny. That would be great, I like that idea a lot. But be careful that if somebody's already doing that bit and it's known... No, no. I've done these bits where I'll cut myself into news clips, like being the guy interviewed. That's funny. And just be like, you know, we find an ESPN clip and then I'll just whatever, just go off.

That's fun. So that's not hard to do. I like that idea. That's very funny. Well, let's get into it. Let's get into it. Yeah. Without... Further's get into it. Let's get into it. Yeah. Without further ado ado. It's not curly. This podcast is sponsored by the crisp, the refreshing angry orchard.

Now Jake, you don't sound angry when you talk about it because why would you be? Listen, guys, there's a litany of things that we shouldn't get angry about, but let's be honest, sometimes it's hard not to be. I get angry at stuff, Gareth. Such as, Mr. Johnson? Your perm. Stop, I'm soaking wet, stop.

Not today, by the way. By the way, you're angry at the perm. I told you you're gonna see my movie and you know it's gonna be the perm. It was a ridiculous face. It's not even a perm. I don't know what's happening. I get angry at your love of the Packers.

I get angry at your delusion over the Bears. I get angry at the draft in Green Bay where you just looked around and my mother who lived in Manitoc, I'm like, oh, look at this city. What are you talking about? And it's like, go Packers. And I was like, I'm like, oh, look at this city. What are you talking about? And it's like, go, go, go. And I was like, I'm feeling angry.

They had a great draft. Listen, don't get angry about all the things that we talked about, except for Jake's kind of obsessive relationship with the Bears that they've never fulfilled him for. 1985, I was alive for. One time. Instead, get an angry orchard and feel good.

Feel chill and refreshed, not getting pissed off, but have a tasty tasty angry orchard. Okay, angry orchard is the number one hard cider in the country, has a bright crisp apple flavor. I just had one the other day, Jake. It's just like biting into a fresh apple, something we all wanna do. So grab an angry orchard cider today.

Don't get angry, get orchard, and please drink responsibly. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by the one and only Squarespace. Oh, Squarespace, Jake. We love Squarespace. You guys wanna see how Squarespace works? Go to garethrentolds.com. Gareth, is it a Squarespace website?

Jake, let me answer that question with one word, absolutely. And what do you like about it when you build your website where people can come see you on the road? What works about Squarespace's website? Gareth Reynolds dot com. Squarespace not only makes the site look professional, the design is great, it's not that hard. You just are able to scale your business, it gives you everything you need, it helps you, and now they just keep getting better and better. Well they got cutting-edge design, they got CO tools, that's big too. Do you know what that means? Of course I do. What does it mean? Don't push me. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta

descriptions and an auto-generated sitemap is what what it means and more Gareth the domains they make it easy to find the best domain there are videos it makes it easy to showcase your expertise check out Squarespace.com slash here to help for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code here to help to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Gilly take us out. Well Jake, it's been a while. It's been a long while.

Thank you so much, Gil. Hello. Hello. Hello. How are you? I'm good. Thank you. How are you?

Good. What time is it where you are? How are you? I'm good, thank you. How are you? Good. What time is it where you are? It's got to be like the middle of the night or something like that, isn't it? Yeah, 2.30 it is here. Jake, you hear that? It's 2.30 in the morning.

Don't do it. It's 2.30 in the morning. What is your... Please stop. What is your name? Ian Auckland. Please? Ah, Clintons New Zealand. She's not a kiwi, she's Aussie. What is your, please stop, what is your name? You're in Auckland? Please? Auckland's

New Zealand, she's not a Kiwi, she's Ozzy. What are ya? Yeah, I'm Ozzy, correct. Yeah, right on ya. Where in Australia are you, Alex? I'm from Melbourne. Lovely, great town. Beautiful, love it. Great town. You been there, Jake? I'm gonna be there, jakejohnson.com. Right now I'm in Rockford, Illinois. Right, right. Jake's in his little weird dojo with the sailor head and gorilla paintings. Alright, well Alex, rough age. Let's say you're going through one of those websites where you gotta pick the category. Respect.

Are we, what are we in, 18 to 26? Are we 27 to 32? We have 32 to 41 I'll finish fair. Are we a 42 to 52? Are we a senior? What are we? Definitely the 18 to 26 Yes, good it was good to show that I know how to category numbers pretty well You sure may, Jake. Based off what Morgan Nally created on the Patreon, which was she asked the Patreon community

for questions. Oh yeah, right. Hey Alex, without looking back off the top of your head, and please no bullshit, just be as honest as you can, what was the last text you sent and to who and what was it about not involving our show? Oh my God. It was probably a happy birthday text to my auntie and my uncle.

Sweet. Your aunt and uncle have the same birthday? Yeah, no, they're not even twins. But they just magically happen to be, yeah, your aunt. Yes, Gary. Okay, I was picturing maybe like uncle by marriage. I hope not. Well, let me give you some advice.

I am opposed to brothers and sisters marrying. Alex, what can we do for you? So I studied fine art in uni, and for one of my projects. A quick pause to the audience uni means university. And project means project. Yeah. No, that one.

So for one of my projects, I crocheted a human. She was meant to be live sized. She's now well, she's actually seven foot tall. Whoa, Alex. Yeah, she's actually seven foot tall. Yeah, she's pretty awesome. I do love her. She's pretty well beloved by all, but not all with her. All right. So Alex, you make a seven foot crochet. Is it a lady or a man and do you do jujitsu against it? Have you ever beat it up?

She's a woman. I can't say violence has ever been deliberately enacted on her. I like that about you. Thank you. Yeah, no, we love her, we respect her. We treat her with kindness. What's her name? Virginia. Great. Of course. So you made it. Oh wow, we got a photo of her.

Oh fuck. We got some more photos too whenever you want to see them. Yeah, so you see you made it Got some more photos too whenever you want to so she's like gareth will you describe what we're seeing? Uh, well a uh, well Obviously crocheted for those who hold on gail. Will you describe what we're seeing? Oh my god. Where have I been? I'm waking up under a bottle of red solo cups And yes, they had beer and a one-man beer pug is achievable since I've been put on the sidelines Jake crochet not a lot of people know about this this is the art of knitting it looks like a potato sack so I'd go to Gareth please so I'd say it's like a potato sacked looking woman yeah she's well-designed black big eyes black yarn hair black yarn eyebrows her arms definitely have no bones in them.

She's boneless, I would guess. Yeah, but very, I mean, but I will say this, pretty realistic. If you crocheted that, Alex, that's very good. The eyes look good, the eyebrows look good. The eyes look good. The mouth, the mouth, I'm not sure it's actually the mouth. It's a little bit like the first photo we're seeing,

which obviously we'll post, is a little bit like, like they're we're seeing which obviously will post is a little bit like Like they're either on meth or they're in the horror movie You know what it kind of reminds me of obviously this is animated, but it's a little Wallace and Gromity. Yes Okay, so Alex keep going so and by the way, so Okay Hold on Alex we're gonna put you on ice for a second longer because Jesse has scrolled to pick two. Hold on, Alex. Alex. Well, Jake, let's tell people what just happened.

Okay, we are- He's got boobs and a vagina. Okay, great, thank you. So Alex is now naked. There's a photo of Virginia sitting on a chair with her legs spread. Legs spread. Let's just say the vagina is very... That looks pretty good. Kind of something. Yeah.

The boobs look like a lady laying on her back. Yes. It's way too realistic. And my question to you, Alex, is... What's up? Why'd you do the vagina and boobs? Yeah. And way to go. I don't have a dick on my dummy in my garage.

Well, yeah, what is yours? She had to be she had to be realistic. She had to have her bit. Walk us through now the very real reason, because look, you have talent as an artist. Were you in art school? Yeah, yeah. OK, so you're an artist be great if she said she was an English major yeah, so you were an artist you did a project You like this podcast do you find yourself to be a funny person? I think you do and I think you're funny too, but is it a little bit funny. Oh my gosh. Oh, I think I'm hilarious

And I think you're funny too, but is it a little bit funny? Oh my gosh. Oh, I think I'm hilarious, but I haven't actually. Yeah. You are funny. This is a very funny doll you've created. So when you're making the boobs and the vagina, I want the truth. How hard were you laughing?

Do you know what? I wanna say really hard, but I was really into it at the time. I was very serious. I was very- I was really into it at the time I was very serious I was very pictures back up. I'm gonna be honest There's no there's no patents for vaginas. You just have to make that shit up. So Concentrating guys, okay, so Started as a little funny, but then when you got into it you said like well, I want to see if I could make a good

vagina Yeah, yeah then when you got into it, you said like, well, I wanna see if I can make a good vagina. Yeah, yeah. And you have, from the photo we have. It's not a closeup and I don't need to see any closer. I truly might barf. We could figure it out. Wait, wanna see us eye it? No. Oh.

So now you have left this seven foot creature. Jesse, please don't push it forward, honest to God. I honestly might feel bar I feel barfy. Thank you for not putting, thank you for not continuing. I like the way that Jesse did the tester push-in. He's like, do you want to see a little closer? So Alex, so now you've made this doll. I'm with you, it's seven feet tall.

It worked when you were at university. Since you have graduated, you have moved on. You leave it at mom and dad's house. Mom and dad are nice to have it because it's your art project. It's in your room. Yeah. Okay. And then where are we at now? Mom and dad are now starting to say, what's going on with Virginia? It's pretty much. Yeah, like there's only, it's sort of like beating a dead horse, you know, like it was funny for a bit and now it's just scary for them. And there's a few ideas, like people, like my sister wants to burn her and have like, you know, all that, but I just think she's better than that.

And I love her too much to get rid of her, but I don't know what to do. And like, I'm still making art and everything like that, but you can't like, she's now stretched and dirty and gross and she's been through it. And I don't think I can revive her, but I just don't know what to do with her remains. You know? I understand.

So you have love for Virginia. And so a party who doesn't want to disrespect her by just throwing her in the trash, but you also don't want to travel with her, you don't want her in your house, and you don't want to try to fix her, you've moved on artistically. So this is, what do I do with my childhood stuffy if it happened to be a seven foot tall doll named Virginia with a lifelike vagina? Yeah, pretty much. That's interesting. It is for sure.

I got it. Don't send it to Gareth. Well, come on, everything's on the table. You said, Alex, that they were talking, your sister was talking about burning it at the stake? Yeah, an effigy. Oh, yeah, she hates her so much. And what do you think of that?

You don't like that because it's disrespectful or do you think it'd be fun? No, I think it would be so sad. And like, I don't know, that was nine months I spent on this woman. She's kind of awesome. I just, I think she deserves better. So I got a question to you about where you're at in your art.

You can't incorporate Virginia in something, you can't make like a glass box. So we had a thing for a while where we were talking about this show that they used to do with dead bodies, they would embalm them and put them in glass boxes and use them as coffee tables. Oof. Why don't you just put- Oh, oh shit, okay.

I would just consider putting Virginia in a dresser like she's dead and it's a coffin, but it's a glass, it's like a either plastic or glass box that is your coffee table that you move around with you and she's in there as if it's like a dead relative. Wow, that would be actually pretty cool. I like that one a lot.

I think that one's pretty good. It's definitely artsy and you get to keep Virginia in a way where she's not gonna deteriorate on the outside. I got another one. Okay, I got a couple too, go ahead. Without any notes, send it to your worst ex-boyfriend. Mm-hmm Pretty good I'm I live in a smallish town and everyone already knows about the junior. They'd know exactly. Okay, that doesn't work. Okay?

Yeah, she's been like my Instagram. So I got you. Okay. Yeah, she's also been like, pretty prolific on my Instagram, so. I gotcha, okay. I had a, well here's what I, the first one I thought of is, well, off of your sister's pitch, if you did want to end it, you could, we could just kind of cremate her. So we're not burning her, we're cremating her.

You can have the ashes, we can have it a little urn, we can put it on a shelf, and you can always have Virginia there. You can have the ashes we can have it a little urn We can put it on a shelf and you can always have Virginia there You can have a picture how wide is not you want? You know is up to you, but how do you burn it? Do you have a fireplace? I mean honestly I think the way that they do cremation anyway is like they're kind of fudging it a little bit Well, that's not accurate Like what to do with Virginia, like to keep her alive, not to kill her. Yeah.

Okay, alright, so then I'm gonna nix the water funeral. Not to, you know. Wait, what is the water funeral though? Just dump her off a boat. It's not a water funeral. It is. It's not a boat. That's how mafia guys kill each other.

They swim with the fish. We grieve, we grieve. We grieve Virginia, she's in the ocean. We put concrete on her ankle, then you just throw her off the boat. All right, here's my last one. My last one is, we could flat Stanley her. We could, what we could do is we could float this out there

to the audience and see if someone wants to take Virginia on some kind of a Adventure. Yeah, and they didn't you know, we with the gumball Yeah, we did. Yeah, we got the gumball Didn't we get the gumball sent to someone museum, but it first started they took a road trip in like a convertible Okay, so then I'm pitching maybe some sort of Virginia road trip. We put her in clothes, we take her on a journey around the world, or what we could do is kind of chain letter her so that we could, you could send

it for Virginia to someone who wants her. They can have her for a couple months, take Virginia on an adventure, that person floats out where Virginia should go to next, and then she of just let me let me jump in here Yeah, yeah, cuz I love this but it might not be Virginia might be another caller and here's why okay seven feet fucking tall Yeah, but she squishes you saw how she could She's a real box could you put Virginia in to send Um, I fit her in my boot before she was she was pretty valuable

Boot trunk car trunk Jake not shoe. Yeah, sorry wrong. That trunk is your mic. Sorry Alex Are you talking about like could she fit in a backpack? Oh No, oh wait, how he gives about that like maybe like we can't do this. No see this is what I'm saying Gary we can't say it's too she's seven feet tall We can still ship her around with a real light. How much does she weigh? How much does she weigh? No, you think 50 pounds 40 ish That's a lot. That's more than I would imagine Yeah, actually like that amount of yarn and cotton probably

Look, I don't know man. I know what they way I didn't I guess it I really am kind of ignoring your expertise of you You are do yes This is your dog. Oh, brother. This is what I do This is my life brother I Murdered This is my life, brother. I've murdered these dummies, son. I've murdered them, son. I've murdered them. I snapped their fucking arms, son.

Is this what I do? This is Saturday, brother. Well, the one, your little shed dummy hurt your knee, didn't he? Yeah, I haven't wrestled with it in ages, son, but I'm looking for a Virginia type. I will murder this one. I have one more that is terrible. What is it? Make a Tinder profile for her. Oh my gosh.

Make a Tinder profile for her and see if anyone swipes on it. And if they do swipe on it, take her to the rendezvous point and see what happens. I think that might be my favorite. I would say create a Tinder profile of Virginia and just see what happens. See what happens. Like fill it out.

While you're building the box. Fill out the world. Yeah. What do you think of that, Alex? Well, I think that's perfect. I did say she was meant to look great at things, and maybe she needs to find her own dojo guide. Well, what you could also do, what you could also do is, if you wanted,

I don't know how far you want to carry this into into your life. Well, it sounds like you're kind of done with her Sorry, I got dogs over here. So but if you're kind of done with her what you could do is you could create an Instagram for her and just kind of Take her on adventures and her first date could be one of those adventures. Yeah, you know, I think that's really nice. You could do something else where you could say like, Virginia has grown up and she's moving out of the house looking for a permanent home must be perfect person willing to interview over zoom. Okay. Yeah, yep.

I like that. Why don't you do this? You could create a website for Virginia saying, Virginia is looking for a new home with photos of her. Send an email to this contact if you are interested. And we as a show will post that obviously and get that out there and we can do follow upsups with you and figure out what happens with Virginia. So why don't you make a Tinder profile that says, I'm here for the longest term relationship

possible. I'm getting out of something complicated right now and I'm looking for my forever home. No sex. Something like that. But it's gotta be, isn't Tinder partly about sex? Yeah. See, we got a vagina and boobs on this thing Well, we gotta be careful what we're offering. Hey look

No, you could reach a few platforms. It's not just tinder out there. Yeah. Yeah sweet tender I'm looking for a little bit more PG. You know could be nice about this Alex. Alex. Are you single? Yes, wouldn't this be a wild way for you to meet somebody? Isn't that a movie premise? Somebody writes back and you guys are talking about creating a home for Virginia and all of a sudden you guys realize, well, hold on, maybe we should get coffee

and talk about Virginia. Let's talk about Virginia. I mean, I'm down to talk about Virginia any day of the week. So you're leaning towards starting a profile? I think so. Start a couple of profiles and see if someone would like to have her. So why don't you do this, why don't you start the profile, send them to us so we can also see them too. And I think we could share it and we can see if there's anyone who really is serious about this and you can vet them and you know, whatever.

And if all of a sudden it becomes about sending it to somebody, then we can go down that road. But you gotta figure out if it's the right person and if somebody really wants Virginia someplace, maybe we can find a good home for her. We just did this with a fish, didn't we? We created a nice house for a fish. Well, yeah, we made him, but why don't you do this? Why don't you get it out there, we'll share it. You vet some people, and if you think you have the winner, let us know and we can have you both back on

and we can approve. Yeah, that's exactly right, Alex. I love that, Gary. So then pick your top two, if you find two, and we'll do like a game show type thing. Who gets Virginia? Great. Oh, that's amazing.

Yeah, I like that. Okay. That'll be fun. So either, what are you gonna do? You gonna create a Squarespace or you gonna go on the Tinders of the world? Or do whatever you gotta do. Or an Instagram.

There's other options. Or an Instagram. Yeah, I'm thinking I'll do it on my, I'll start on my Instagram. I've got an art account that I reckon like I can definitely do some advertising on. So what's the name on your, what's your an art account that I reckon like I can definitely do some advertising on. So what's the name on your, what's your Instagram art account so everybody can just look at that when they hear this show because this won't come out for, this won't come out until May anyhow.

I think it's just my name. I think it's alexandra underscore canny c-a-i-r-n-e-y. Okay why don't you say that again one more time a little bit slower. C-A-I-I-N-E-Y. OK, why don't you say that again one more time a little bit slower? Alexandra underscore C-A-I-I-N-E-Y. OK, so if anybody wants to check that out, check it out. You will see either links to Virginia, or Virginia will be there. If you are somebody who wants Virginia, hit her up there. Yep. And we will take the top two or three and we will do a little bit of a game show

about this on a follow-up and we will find a home for Virginia. Oh, that would be amazing. All right, here we go. That's what we do. Thank you, Alex. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Appreciate you. Bye. You want to start us Garf? Okay. Hello there.

Hello. Hi, how are you? Hi, how's it going guys? Great. You really turned it on once you realized it was the show. Can we get your name, where you're calling from, rough age, please. My name's Gabriel and I'm calling from Fullerton, California. Yeah, so I'm in sort of a, I love you man situation. Have you guys seen that movie? Of course, great movie.

Give the quick premise of the movie for anybody who hasn't really fast, Gabriel. Yeah, basically this guy has a great relationship with his partner, but, um, he doesn't have any close guy friends and he needs a, um, he needs a best man. So he tries to go find, he basically tries to make friends. Um, because he, yeah. And, um, so I'm in sort of a similar situation. Um, we're just trying to find, uh but guy friends, because I live in a suburban neighborhood

with my wife and my son. And I walk around the neighborhood all the time with my little son. And I see all these dads with their, you know, these young dads around my neighborhood. And you know, I say hi and you know, just very short interactions. But I guess my question is just like, how do I make friends with all these other, all these other young dads in the neighborhood? And it's without, I don't know,

there's always kind of this awkwardness. Well, it's a sweet question. So it's not an easy solution, but it's a question. Are you just trying to make friends? Just there's no event You're just trying to become friends Yeah, just just Dad friends he's with his kid. He's a little bored He's like if I could just hang out with another guy at the park. It could be more fun while the kids are playing This is tough

You don't have any friends? Is this just been a lifelong problem of yours? This is new? Well, it's kind of gradual because, like in my 20s, you know, gradually my friends that I grew up with started to move out of state, move away. And now I'm at the point where, you know, at 30 I got married and then we, you know, just focused on just hanging out with my wife most of the time and then we had a son.

And so then it was like, really like just my immediate family. So, but yeah, I mean, it's like all my close friends are like out of state, we like play Xbox, you know, online, but I just don't have that, you know, that male energy. Right. That's tough. I mean, it is hard. I think like, well, what do you like?

Do you like to play Xbox? Are there any other outdoor activities you like? Yeah, golf. Golf's a good one. Well, we can't just pitch clean Gareth of trying to find interest because that's not what this show is, right? So, Gabriel we're in a tough spot because here's what I think we're gonna have to do and It's weird. But you know, you called in a weird show for an easy fix because not

an easy fix, but you didn't want a straight shot because a straight shot is not why you're calling. But how to make friends in your 30s with dads. I don't know what's going to happen. I bet your son is very young. How old is your son? He's 21 months. Yeah, so here's what really happens, Gabriel. The people you're gonna hang out are the people who your son wants to hang out with and you're gonna just be with those parents.

Once he starts making friends, it doesn't matter who that other dad is, you guys are at the park together and you will find something to gab about. Because right now you still have to decide pretty soon he's gonna decide and this is not gonna be a problem in six months or a year, but the premise of the show is we're here to help you right now

and so that's what we're gonna do. So here's what I'd like you to do. I'd like you to maybe host something at the park where it's a dad's day where you can put a sign up that says like, got my son to myself from 10 to noon, would love to talk masters. Now this is weird.

Even as I'm saying it, I don't like it. I got one. Go ahead. Well, look, we have the Swiss army knife on this show and sometimes it has to be meta, which is we have to just use the show to help the show. I think we should invite... How old are you Gabriel?

37. I think we should invite some 37-year-old guys who live in this area, where in California? Fullerton. Yeah, Fullerton. To submit who are also feeling this. This does happen. Right. This is not fully uncommon.

Like men start to... I agree. But so are we pitching then, Gareth? And I'm not against it. Are we pitching the same thing we pitched earlier where earlier today? We had a thing about Virginia a seven foot doll and we were talking about creating a website where she's saying he hangs out with the doll No, he'd be if that's the Virginia doll I'm saying do we create a Find a friend type website? I think we go differently.

I think what we do is we invite some Fullerton, California, male, probably parent, but not necessarily listeners of this shows to submit to the show. And we, as our follow-up, which could be a little lengthy... A date. We do, we do, we do, we do, he gets to evaluate a couple guys

and pick which guy he wants to go on a friend hangout. I don't hate it. Oh, that's wild. But it's gonna make that first hang so weird. Maybe, but any of this... It could be funny, too. Maybe, but any of this. It could be funny too. Look, you know what's weird?

Is walking around the neighborhood with your 21 month old son trying to lure pals with him. I mean, that's fucking weird. Like what we're basically doing, Jake, what we're doing, Jake, is we're saying we want you to online date versus, hey, walk up to three women in a bar when you're single and try to get numbers. What do you think about creating a getting on

squarespace.com, starting a website, and it's your interests, your likes, who you are, what you would like, what you're looking for, and basically the thing is called, I'm looking for an I love you man situation. But we can even, I wanna use Squarespace, and we probably can, but why not right now, we can have him make his dating tape right now?

And I'm only saying dating tape because that's what's familiar. Right. Right now. How did he do it? Hey, my name's Gabriel, I'm 37 years old, I live in Fullerton, California. And we posted on our Instagram. Yeah, and it's on the show right now.

Okay, I understand what you're saying. So yeah, we posted on our Instagram, and we say, or we released this episode, and we say, email the show. The subject is friend for Gabriel. If you're near the Fullerton area. If you're in the Fullerton area, you're a fellow dad, you're not a dad, but you have some of the likes that Gabriel's about to sight off. What do you think, Gabe? So this is like blasting my message to like everybody

in Fullerton basically. No, no, no, no, no. Hold on, Gabriel, we don't have a link to Fullerton. Yeah, we're not gonna drive around with a speaker on the car. But by calling into your show, you are currently blasting your problem to everybody who's listening. So we're just- Yeah, but I was just wondering, like,

what would that, what would the, like, what account, like, would it be from? It would be from ours. It would be from the we're here to help Instagram. Oh, okay. Yeah. And then people would write to us and we would then do a followup with you and them

where we basically see if you guys want to continue this friendship. We are trying to It would be the friendship dating game. We are manufacturing a friendship. Whoa, that's not, that's not that I mean that's um, yeah, I'm open to that that's cool That's not that you guys were gonna go in to be honest No, I mean, I thought you guys were gonna I mean, no, I think that sounds better. Actually sounds easier

but I thought you guys were gonna like coach me on how to like They you know have conversations with people and but you're right I mean like that's a pretty good that's not a bad idea Gabriel. That's awkward. Well kind of like those are the situations. But we could maybe do the coaching when we have the dating game thing but we don't know how you are with people yet so we can coach it. Yeah I mean look part of it I think you're rounding up against. That's the thing, that's part of it. Is that you're not in the position where you're able to make these friends easily.

We're basically saying, look, we're gonna leapfrog you to the end of this little race. I think that's exactly what we're saying. And we want you to cross the finish line and feel just as good about it, but you know what? We could sit here role playing and go, no Gabriel, talk about golf a little bit better. We could say go to the golf course and, you know, go to the driving range and start hitting

on some dads for friendship. We can do that. But we can also right now just vet this system a little bit and just say, your name's Gabriel, you have a young kid, you like to play video games, you like to golf. Hey, look, are there any other dads in the Fullerton area we're putting up the Gabe signal in the sky saying, do you want to be friends with this guy? If you do, let's do a little friend hangin, see what happens. What if you're just looking for a golf buddy and you go, hey I'm Gabe, I live in Fullerton,

I've got, I'm 37 years old, I've got a two- old son. Just looking for a golf buddy in the area. My other golf buddies don't live near me. If you are a golfer and looking to golf with me, and is there a course you like to play golf at? Yeah, Burchill's, Brea. Say, looking to play golf at Burchill. If you're near it, we could meet there for a round of golf. Let me know if you're interested.

Yeah, just looking to play some golf with a buddy. I got one more pitch. Why don't we say, my name's Gabriel. I've been chosen to be the podcast, We're Here to Help's golfer of the year. I just need one person to play golf with at Birch Hill in Brea. Only rule is you need to have a kid.

Okay, yes. And so father golf out. What if we do it, Gareth? And we do it, okay. So what's the name? Gabriel, what's the name of the golf course? It's Birch Hills Golf Course. Birch hills golf course in Brae. Birch hills in where? Braea. We are now setting this up. There is a winner of the contest.

Yes. And it's for a father. It's but we're not giving them anything. This is just to play with. The well. Let's just see what happens. Okay. All right. All right. Here we go. The, well, uh, but it's- Let's just see what happens. Okay, yes. Okay, alright, alright. Here we go. Three, two, one. Hey, Gareth Reynolds here. Jake Johnson here. Hey, we're from We're Here to Help, the podcast. We're unique, yeah, sorry, let's take it over. I jumped on you. Okay.

Three, two, one. Hey, Gareth Reynolds here. And Jake Johnson from the podcast. We're here to help. We have a unique opportunity for fathers in the Fullerton area who like golf. Boy do we, Jake. We are very excited because we've picked one person to go golfing at Birch Hills Embraer,

but we're looking for one other. We're looking for a partner to our friend, Gabriel. Gabriel, how old are you? Do you have kids? And we know you like golf. Yeah, I'm 37 and I have a two-year-old kid. That a boy. So what we're looking for now is if you are a father in the Fullerton area and you would like to play golf with Gabriel, email the show. We can only select one, maybe two tops. So give us the subject golf partner and email helpfulpod at gmail.com. We're very excited about this. Thanks so much.

Great. All right. I mean, I think we're going to get some submissions. I think we can link these dots. Jake, thoughts? Great. Yes. Gabriel? Think we can link these dots Jake thoughts great. Yes Gabriel Yeah, that's all good. I mean we could even do we could even do I mean one other person you could do We can do a force and we do three. That's exactly right. Well, here's the thing We'll see what our emails and if we have an overwhelming response We will then suggest that we do a for some of you guys

We'll do is when we have people in we'll bring them on the show and you guys can meet. Yeah, we'll have a little chat and then we'll set it all up for you. And if you want coaching before we can do that. Absolutely. Yep. We could do a pre-session. I love some coaching. That's amazing. Yeah. This show has just become the real life movie hitch. I don't know what the hell's going on, but when you, but remember, when you're out there golfing, you're on your own. We're not gonna have a little ear piece in your ear

or something like that. Or we might. Yeah, maybe we will, sure. We're not above it. It might be the movie Roxanne. How about this, we fly Berg out to go undercover as one of the people so he can kind of coach him silently. Well, remember Berg had an idea for a show called

Looking for a Friend? Yes, yep. This would be an amazing episode for him. By the way, do you remember when Berg had the idea for a show called Looking for a Friend. Yes. This would be an amazing episode. By the way, do you remember when Berg had the idea for a show called Murder He Wrote and it was just him doing murder she wrote but as him? Gabriel, thank you for the call. We will follow up with you. Thanks buddy.

Alright, yeah, sounds good. Thanks, bud. Thank you so much, guys. You guys are hilarious. I'm a huge fan of the show, obviously. We appreciate you, brother. Thank you. Bye. Great. That of the show, obviously. We appreciate you, brother. Thank you. Bye.

Great. That worked. Yeah, great. There's an intramural golf league at that golf course that he could easily just drive. No! Natalie. Why are you telling us now? Natalie, Natalie, Natalie. I'm gonna murder you next time we're in person. Natalie, Natalie. You know what?

Did you see his dying? Natalie, we're doing an intervention next. We're doing an intro, and it's an intervention intro. It's called an introvention. And we're doing that next intro. Yes. I agree, actually. Yes. You don't after the call tell us a great pitch.

Bring it in. We'll see what happens. It's too quick. You guys, you're making magic. We had nothing. It's a follow up. We get a follow up. We were dying. We can dress him. We can do a whole thing. Quick you guys Were dying we could dress him we can do a whole thing

We could address them is totally right. We could dress coached him. We could address them We could have told him how to act then he could have gone and called us how it went. Yeah We're doing a dating show Instead, we're doing a dating show! We did the weirdest version now! We still have our intro. We still have a great intro. I know, but this is... We ended up... We made a weird dating thing on Instagram.

We had a solution, Natalie. We did. Natalie is crying tears from us. Actually include all this at the end of this call. Jesse 100%. All this goes in. Well, it's not an intro, it's not a, we'll do an intervention too, but this has to be part of it.

Because the next thing we might have to do is bring him back and say, just go to the intramural thing if people don't respond. So we do for, you don't know this yet, Gabriel, but we do have another pitch coming. And it's called the Nat Attack Special. And the Nat Attack Special is after the call she pitches That's the Nat attack. It's called the fifth quarter after the call the night

Yes All right, Jesse from now on if she does that it's on it's part of your oath All right, Jesse, from now on, if she does that, it's on, it's part of your oath. What the hell is happening, Natalie? You have to jump in and say she just texted you a pitch. All right. Thank you. He tried. He told me.

I said, take it out of the chat. She said, no, I'm not doing that. We need, what we need. Next up is just we're going to treat it like Natalie's called the show. Natalie has something to say. We're going to treat it like Natalie's called the show and we we're gonna give her advice on how to be on the show. Great. I think that's exactly correct.

It's great female energy, it's helpful. Look at us, we're like the same guy. One's just drunker sometimes and it flops who it is. All right, well Jake, you gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go. All right, thank you guys. This is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is.

Hello. Hi. Hi, how's it going? It's going good. Great. Welcome to We're Here to Help. Can we get your name, age? What's happening? My name's Stone. I'm 28. I'm calling from Stanton, Virginia. Beauty.

Welcome back, my baby. Gareth, really quickly, how are you, friend? I'm doing good. How are you? Good. So, Gareth, you made it to the end of the show. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you.

I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so from Staten, Virginia. Beauty, welcome back, my baby. Gareth, real quickly, how are you, friend? I'm doing good, how are you? Good, so Gareth, you missed the Stone call, but you're gonna love Stone.

The name is great. You haven't heard this episode. No. I think it's worth listening, because I think Stone might be a conner for us. Oof, okay, that's good news. So Stone, will you walk Gareth a little bit about what the first call was, what the problem was,

what our solution is and where we are, and just feel free to talk a little bit so that Gareth can get a sense. Yeah, of course. First off, how you doing, baby, how you doing? Hi, Stone. Yeah, yeah, I love being here. It's great talking with you guys and I'm sorry I missed you, Gary. That made me kind of sad honestly.

So I'm glad I get to hear you. Our time starts now. All right, let's go. So I called in my friends think I have a foot fetish. Oh, right. But I don't have a foot fetish. This is Justin Maughn. Yes.

Yes, Justin Maughn, yeah. We came to The Solution, oh, they were making memes, editing photos of me. Well, he claims he doesn't have a foot fetish, but Gareth, what he did was they were all playing a drinking game like asshole, and it was his, and he said, losers gotta like suck somebody's toes. Yeah.

And everyone was like, why? And then we found out that like Stone's in defeat. Okay. But he's not the most in defeat. Like an appreciation. Yeah. Stone, I'm sure we've already covered this, but the way you're talking is not helping your case

that you don't have a fetish. I have an appreciation. And then. It's like what a sommelier says about wine. Exactly. And then we decided to go around about everything he likes and we created a chart of like, what's the most. And what we found is, is that feet are, I believe Stone, feet and face were the same.

Oh wow. Oh, wow. No, no, no, no. They were they top. Okay. No stone. What were the pie charts again? 3.5 for both butt and boobs to I think for a face or 2.5 maybe. Yeah, and then it was 0.25 for both hair and feet. Yeah. Was this on a scale of 1 to 5? Yeah. Did anything hit a 5? No, it wasn't out of 5. It was like a

pie chart. It was. Oh, we're separating out of 10 of 10. We did it like points on a movie. Gotcha, gotcha, okay. So Gareth, really quickly, out of 100 points, where are feet for you? If I have to give a number, I'll give. No, you don't, you don't. But then I'll do none, honestly, none. I mean, we had a woman call in and she had no toes, and we've had to like put ourselves in this situation.

And I was like, honestly, I don't think I'd care. Same, same. I do not think I'd care. Mine would be a zero too. I really don't think it would matter. And so Stone, you're up there. The reason your numbers got better Stone was if you remember at the end,

we found that face was too low and so I helped fudge some numbers. Yeah, yeah, definitely. So feet are up there for the big guy. Sure, that's fine. So then we made a meme to his group of friends because they had a meme where it was him holding a foot and it was like...

And it looked like Stone, you looked like a maniac. It looked like a psychopath stared at these feet and it was something like, what was the meme again? What did it say stone? My god you guys want to see it Me looking at an ice cream cone. Yeah, let's see. It is the ice cream cone to be a bucket of feet Let's see it again. Obviously this will be reposted. It's also on the website. We're putting all the images there. Everybody, Chell out there, all there. We're just about to see this picture now. Oh, I saw this.

Yeah, yes, I saw this. Gareth, will you read it? Well, it's a picture of Stone, and he's got a tiny little bucket, and he's holding a pair of feet, and the expression does him no favors because he looks turned on aggressively. And the meme goes up top,

"'I do not have a foot fetish,ish and I did not throw up in there and then below it it says you gotta believe me So we made a meme in response good Can we throw that up and Gareth will you read it out loud and describe? Absolutely. So this is the rebuttal meme which is I'll be honest, Stone. It feels evidentiary. It's attacking the meme culture,

but it says, Stone's fetish is the same picture, I should point out. And now he's holding a pie chart that is, as we described, the numbers are split. We've got 3.5 for butt, 3. for boobs 2.5 for face and then feet hair Sharing slivers of 0.25 and it says up top stones fetishes. I can't believe you even care about this you weirdo Jake Jake wrote that at the bottom. It says if you say I have a foot fetish You're an idiot and then at the bottom it says boom lawyers. Oh You sent this by the way, it's a great response.

So you sent this to the group, Stone. Yeah. And what's happened? Yeah, so it's, I'd say middle of the road. Some people that didn't think. Wait, first, hold on, Stone. That I had a foot finish, think I have a foot finish. Stone, hold on for a second. Gareth, what's your guess of what's gonna happen? I'm pleasantly surprised with what he said I didn't think wait first

What's your guess of what's gonna happen I'm pleasantly surprised with what he said because I think that is the move of someone who it's like It's like someone responding in silence of the lamb language It's it's really a crazy It's don't in seated back. It's kind of a psycho's response. It's a psycho response. I love the one we pitched it and see it now. Because we might have led you the wrong road. This is what happens. We talk on this call for 40, 45 minutes.

The language changes, the vibe shifts. We land somewhere and then we hear it back and we go, what did we say? I don't think we should have done that. But anyway, it's a conversation starter, so go ahead Stone. So the person that made the meme, Kaylee, and you have a voice clip, I think, of her. Oh, we do. But she, yeah, she made the meme and she settled. She doesn't think I have a foot fetish.

However, there's other people like some close friends that didn't think I thought I had a foot fetish. But now because they called into a podcast, I'm protesting too much. They think I was too honest. I would be like them. I would now think you had one. Listen to what he just said though. Yeah, I was being like them. I would now think you had one. Listen to what he just said though. Yeah, I'll be too honest.

He just said, they think I have a foot fetish because I was too honest. You have a little foot fetish. And my guy, that's okay. But what you just said was, you do. He claims he doesn't. Buddy boy, look, and it's fine. You got a little one.

Define fetish. Define fetish, you were aroused by You got a little one. Huh? Define fetish. Define fetish. You were aroused by the foot a little bit. You like the... On your list of important things, foot has entered the conversation. Stone thoughts. Stone thoughts. Honest ones. You're an honest guy. That's why we love you.

Yeah, yeah. What do you think of that? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm okay with it. But hold on, can I ask you a question, Stone, for real? Yeah, what's up? We all had images flash before us while we're sexually aroused. Just the way the human brain works.

You go, I wasn't expecting to think about that or that person, but here they are. How often are feet popping in, just floating through Stone's head in the heat of battle. In the heat of battle, probably, yeah, I guess, yeah,.25 often, I feel like. Do they ever just float by on their own, like not attached to a body? You're in it, man. You're in the battle, you're near the finish line, and all of a sudden just a pair of feet float by. Yeah, yeah, I guess. Look, Stone, I was going to ask you a couple questions, because I did not expect that answer. Neither did I, Stone. I thought it was going to be never. You got a little foot fetish, and that's fine.

Not even little. I think 2.5 is wrong, Stone. I don't think it's like a Tarantino obsession. No, I don't think it is either. I don't think it is either. You're going black and white, my man. You live in the gray. That, yeah. Almost black.

Almost black. That doesn't, you don't have one of those. You don't have, by the way, his last name ends in- You're in the gray just like Gareth's shirt and not the hoodie. Yeah. It's black. Yeah, I mean, it's, oh, we all got our little weird things.

Something happened when you were a kid, so you know what I mean, something happened. Somehow something imprinted on you at some point in your life and here you are, a grown man, a fine member of society. You don't have a duffel bag full of feet in your closet, am I right? Yet.

Stone, so here's my question to you. Are you, this is a crazy follow-up. But are you willing to admit you got a foot fetish? And don't do it if it ain't real, babe. Because if you're not there in your heart, don't do it. Because we both know, we now all know your group of friends is gonna listen to this. I just feel like fetish is just such a dirty word. I don't know. Right. Attracted to feet.

So you explain to us, Stone, what's your deal with feet? Take away the word fetish. I don't know. Right. Attracted to feet. So you explain to us, Stone, what's your deal with feet? Take away the word fetish. I don't know. It's just like, I don't know, they're there and they can be attractive sometimes, I guess. Sure. But what do you think about hands? But what do you think about hands? Do a pair of hands ever float by your head in the heat of battle?

No, no. How about kneeca heat of battle? No, no. How about kneecaps? Gross. No, no. Elbows? Definitely not. Jesus. Stone. You gotta flip that edge.

You like feet. You like feet. Definitely, definitely no one elbows in shopping. You're not Rex Ryan. Nobody's not, you're not Rex Ryan. Nobody's suggesting that you're like Googling. Maybe you are, who knows, but it's fine if you are. Well, I have, I have, and I don't know, they just don't, they don't do it for me,

but sometimes in the heat of battle, yeah, they do cross my mind as something, and I guess, admirable. Stone, listen, you got two buddies here. Jake and I are your friends. And this whole show is about being on your side. We fully support it. I've never been in the heat of battle

and thought about feet. It's not that it's abnormal, but it's your thing. Well, now it sounds like you're coping. No, Stone, do not. Come on now, we're buddies. We're arm and arm here. We're pals. Don't you do this to me. Stone, we're buddies. We're arm and arm here. We're pals. Don't you do this to me.

Stone, we're not going down the Gareth Road. This is the Stone Road. So the way that you feel about elbows is the way that we feel about feet. Yeah, take it or leave it, whatever. Doesn't matter. So- All right, I'll write that down. So Stone, here's my question to you.

What has the responses been? Yeah, overwhelmingly positive. I mean, hilarious that this stupid little meme breached our little circle and now in this podcast. So everyone had a great time listening overall. And you said there were some meme responses sent your way. Yeah, we want to see those. Yeah, I sent them to you guys.

Yeah. Can we see what the memes are? You said, Gareth and I have not seen them. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay. We got Frank from Always Sunny, the great Danny DeVito. When he can't remember the episode, but it's a great one. And his face is horribly bruised. Uh, and it says, we got to definitely do a podcast about how I don't have a foot. Okay.

We got the same picture from before. This time stone is holding a butt and it says stones fetishes we've got a final evolution at the bottom we've got butt that he's holding with the enamored face 35 percent below it we have a bust 35 percent above it we have a face which is 25 percent hair 2.5 and at the bottom we see some toes peeking out 2.5 that's a solid name it's the solid that was also like the original meme maker this is a great one we got salt bae one of the world's great con artists salt baeing over some loin and

stone's salt bae arched arm with the salt coming out of it is feet, and the loin is labeled fetish pie. So he's salting the fetish pie with feet. The next one. Seasoning. Holy fuck, we got the Stone foot fetish spectrum, ADA recognized diagnostic tool. So we are seeing a spectrum. On one end we have Stone and on the other side we have Adeki Miyazaka.

We have the garlic topping under Stone, and under Miyazaka we have the sauce. Oh yeah, because he kept mentioning the sauce. He would say, I'd go boobs and you'd go, that's the sauce. Alright, this is pretty great. Alright, so Stone, pretty wonderful. All that's obviously gonna be on the website and the Instagram, you won't miss it. But Stone, so where are you at?

What's the feeling? Do you guys wanna really quickly hear the audio clips from his friends? Yes, of course. Yes, yes. We'd love to. Yes. Hi, my name is Sadie.

I'm one of the ladies from the aforementioned Vegas trip, so I can attest that yes, we are allowed in there. And I just wanted to say that when Stone originally came up with this bit, we were so drunk in our friend's living room that I couldn't stand. And I thought it was the funniest thing I had ever heard in my life. And having heard this podcast now, I have to amend that and say that in fact, this podcast segment that Stone did is the funniest thing that I have ever heard in my life. Stone, you lawyered up what good and we have to concede defeat. You do not indeed have a footfall. And I must admit just once for the record while I have everybody that I did not hook up with anybody. By the way,

hearing defeat probably turned him on. Stone, I always believed you. I always believed in you, and I will always believe with you. We love you, and we love your.25 foot fetish. Stone, this is me dying laughing. I've updated the meme for you, and I'm happy to let this one lay to rest.

I think we have our next big meme to focus on, the sauce. And also guys, finally confirmed, Stone did in fact throw up in there. I was in your corner to begin with and then like the podcasters, you lost me for a little and then you won me back so hard. Like my lovely girlfriend, I never doubted you. I've known you longer than all these bozos except the ones you've known since you were a kid. But they clearly don't know what's up. I love you, bud. You don't have a foot fetish. Stone, this is a winning group of people.

Winning. Yes. This is good, Stone. I'm excited to hear the next chapter. I do have a pitch on a thing that already seems resolved, Jake. Please. I think we lean in. I think we have now made our... We have now put our flag in the foot sands. Dare I say, we get a little gold chain made,

and the word in a little emblem, we spell out stone told, T-O-E-L-D. Like stone cold. Hello, is this thing on? I got an idea going off. Oh wow, I love that. Jesus Christ, that was a dinosaur's reaction. That was one of my first domain names.

Stone told? That was my first website. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. You know what I wonder that we could also do if we want, because obviously we're not gonna make the necklace. We don't want that. No, I want to be very clear,

that's gonna be you on your time, not our budget. Well, that was just, I wanted to do the pun. No, no, no, I wanted to do the pun, but now that it bombed so hard, I think I have to make the fucking necklace. I was literally, I was just thinking about practically doing it,

and I was thinking, how are we gonna get a gold necklace? I was wondering, I was just thinking about practically doing it and I was thinking, how are we going to get a gold necklace? I was wondering, I'll find a way. The idea that you are doubling down. How are we going to get a gold necklace? And my head was like, we don't have a gold guy. We don't have a necklace guy. I got a gold guy.

But here's what I'm thinking. We could come up with a piece of merch we could talk to Leah about that just says, I don't have a foot fetish. don't have a foot fetish. Or I have a foot fetish. Or it could just say 2.5%. So Stone, how about you do a pitch? If there was a shirt or a hat, what would that shirt or hat be to sum up where you are? We don't want a lot of, you don't want a shirt that's too long.

I made a shirt for my brother that had so much dialogue on it that it was a paragraph and we realized too much dialogue. You got people reading this stomach. So you want like a line. My whole thing with my brother, because we found out we were Hungarian as older men, cause we didn't know what my dad was. And then when we found out he was like a Hungarian Jewish guy, we got really into being Hungarian.

So we just started doing a lot of Hungarian pride. We both got Hungarian flags. And then everything was how, of course we're Hungarian. So I made him a shirt of our Hungarian pride that went on for so long about Hungarian stuff. And then my brother was like, too long. Shirts not worth it. I just walked down the street. People are staring at my stomach. And I was like, mistake.

Looks like a menu. Yeah, it's disgusting. So we've got about a limestone. What would you wear to kind of sum up where you're at? Where I'm at, huh? And it's not celebrating you as a man, even though I think you deserve it. It's celebrating the fact that you called in and it's about foot fetishes and where you're at.

And let me ask you, because your friends have now conceded to you, which means ring the bell, we've won. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. But I gotta be honest, it feels like a false win because I honestly in my heart of hearts think you have a foot fetish. I think you think fetish is an uglier word than I think.

Yeah, but if we just take the dirtiness out of that word, then I can come to terms with it. Yeah, so what can you come to terms with? I'm sexually attracted to feet but I don't want to call it a fetish? It's not a fetish it's an appreciation and then on the back of the shirt it says boobs are the sauce. I mean look this is what's great. What was that line really fast again, Karen? Say the first line.

It's not a fetish. It's an appreciation. And then on the back it says, boobs are the sauce. What's great about that is that we could pitch what the shirt should be for a day. I'm literally, what you just did was you spoke from the heart. You included some of your catchphrases and I think it's perfect. I do too. And I'll be honest, in this call, the show is the sauce.

You're the foot. Aw, thanks guys. And I would also maybe say that you might be the sauce Because the sauce is better than the foot we might be the foot and you have a little bit of thing with us lost now But you're the sauce. Let's do this Stone you want to hang out with us and do a follow-up with us? You're gonna be very confused, but I think it'd be fun Yes. Yeah, sure. I mean stay on the line now. Yeah, so just stay on don't hang up We'll walk you through it and most likely the person's heard the last episode, they'll know you too. So everybody, this is the end of this episode. We're about to do a new one. Goodbye.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis, Associate Producer Jesse Thurston, Editing, Mix and Master by Chris Fowler. Themed song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike,

animations by Andrew Strilecki, and if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentholds.com. Remember all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. Hey, I'm Tony Hale. I'm Matt Oberg. And I'm Kristen Schall. And we're going to be hosting

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