We're Here to Help - 174: Sucking a Bald Spot & Tree Jim

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

A caller enlists Gareth in addressing a mustache issue shared by Jake and her husband. Later, Jake and Gareth help a caller inspire the return of his Father-in-Law's epic alter ego. Plus, a follow-up from Ep 147 "Long Island Lisa with Michael Cera."See caller images here!Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Gemini. Oh, Jake, it is. To us, Gemini was an American gladiator. But not to the kids of today. We're talking exams, essays. This is stressful stuff. We went through it. We were on our own. But Gemini is offering something really great for college students. So if you are a listener of We're Here to Help and if you want a little extra help, Gemini Advanced is now free for college students in the United States of America. Sign up before June 30th and you'll get free access all the way through spring finals

2026. So Gareth, when you use Gemini, which we both use, what do you use it for and what do you like about it? There's sometimes like if there's a topic that I think I want to do stand up on or if there's sometimes like if I'm writing something for my other show, it's just like a way to kind of have something. It just gives you all the information and right away you go, oh, OK, now I actually get this. Now I can personalize it. Visit Gemini.Google slash students to learn more. Terms apply.

The new McRispy strip is here. Dip approved by ketchup, tangy barbecue, honey, mustard, honey mustard, Sprite, McFlurry, Big Mac sauce, double dipped in Buffalo and ranch, more ranch, and creamy chili McFlurry, Big Mac sauce, double dipped in Buffalo and Ranch, More Ranch, and Creamy Chili McCrispy Strip Dip. Now at McDonald's. And we are back! Jake, with the... Yes. And Gareth, you tell me if I get choppy, if I get choppy, you just keep driving.

You know what happens? If you get choppy, the intro gets sloppy what happens if you get choppy the intro gets sloppy Because when I drive not true. Yeah, you know, it's like you're a very good driver You know, I just listened to Am I off by the way, you're okay. It'll be all right. No, it'll be all right. Well, first of all, I I'm very excited for what your month is going to be. I really, you've got, can we say where you are?

Yeah, okay, so you flew to Alaska, and I said, I think you're gonna like it, it's simple. And you said, that feels like a dig. And I was like no because it reminds me when I've walked around there I'm like it it just reminds me of like the Midwest in like the 90s in the best possible way where you're not overwhelmed with outdoor malls like they exist but it's just a little more but it's different it's different.

It's different. It wouldn't surprise me if I walked into a bar in Alaska and you could smoke. Oh, totally. Like I get that vibe. Yeah, we'll see, I got in last night at about 2 a.m. So I drove through Anchorage last night and it was so empty.

Empty. That I kept saying to Ashley, one of our producers, I'm like, nobody, there's literally no one on the streets. Yes, yes. Which I like. Not one person. Which I like. I know, I was like, I'm a little, as of now,

comfortable around a few humans. Yeah, I like a few. I was like, give me the weird guy riding on his bike in the middle of the street. Yeah, that's your guy. That's your guy. Give me bike in the middle of the street. Yeah, that's your guy That's your dad sure. Yeah, that's my guy that that by the way that guy has weed if you need weed. That's your guy. Yes But anyway, I'm but I don't want to stop and talk cuz that guy's angry. Yes. Yeah without question I've got something. I think you're gonna like Gareth. I like to hear that

So wait, by the way, can I say one thing very quickly? Oh, yeah. My mother had to go in the hospital for a broken femur in the UK. It was very quick. It was very rushed. And, you know, it's difficult. You know, it's not like a life-saving injury, but she was in a lot of pain. And you sent her a video that was of you. You had no shirt on, but it was only neck up, thank God, for everybody.

And you sent her the kindest video that really made her, honestly, on a tough day, very, very happy. And so, I don't know, it was very nice. And she feels very supported by the, we're here to help people, and by you. So it was really genuinely like she was very, like she was laughing, it was awesome. So anyway, okay, go ahead.

That's awesome, man. I had to take my shirt off for the video. Yeah, I don't think that's true. I made the first draft of that video, I had to take my shirt off for the video. Yeah, I don't think that's true. I made the first draft of that video, I was wearing a shirt, and then I went, wait a second. We love you, Pam, if you're listening, we can't wait to get you back on the show. And by the way, she did listen to the intro where you suggested that you too should 69. You know what I realized with our jokes is... Too far there?

I forget there's listeners. I know. I know. I completely get that. Because you and I just play characters with each other, and we just find rhythms to mess with or make the other guy laugh. And I will forget that just people listen to this and believe all of this to be real. This is our relationship. This is who we are as opposed to it's a,

we're playing having fun. 90% of the time, that's a good thing. And then the 10% where we're like, what have we been talking about for five minutes? And it will be like, we'll just look at each other and be like, there's someone on the phone right now. What is this? Yeah, what is happening? There's someone who's got a problem.

The audience is so mad. Speaking of, they're so mad at us, Garrett. Why? They hate, they hate Miggly and Muggles so much. Speaking of they're so mad at us carrot why? They hate they hate bigly That why they hate them The whole point is that they're like but people hate the tactic we can stop it I guess Yeah, but I'll tell you and I know you get a little frustrated with me, but what I love about this podcast, and it's because I've never had it in my film and TV career.

I've never had it before. There is a whole community. We've been talking about that grandpa competition of hot grandpas. Well, a woman reached out yesterday. We started, she's a web designer. My brother and I are working on a website that we've been working on for a while that I Want to use exclude for our show? Yeah She reached out we're talking she might start doing our social media She has a whole pitch on how she wants to do the grandpa competition and I'm like

It in credit and then she literally goes this is so weird I emailed the show and now we're zooming and I'm like, well, it's weird for me, too It's weirder for them. It's weird Yeah, I got weird for me, too. We're talking about a grandpa competition. Yeah. Well, no, I don't even get frustrated that you listen, it's just There are times where you know, it's just, there are times where, you know, it's like, look, if there's an overwhelming consensus, it's very good that you're out there in the streets

because, like a weird guy in Alaska on his bike, because if people don't like Pigly and Mo, they don't have to hang around, okay? Yeah, or, but when we bring them back, we're bringing them back as a choice. Because what I like is, I like how engaged the community is. And I like how much ownership everybody feels of the show.

And I like that it's not even fully ours anymore. It's theirs. We're just here and there. I like that they keep listening while getting mad at us and going like, hey, one person wrote, can I call in and ask how to get rid of Pigly and Mo? I mean, by the way, it could be funny to hear them out.

Incredible, incredible. It could be funny for an intro to hear them out. Agreed. That is really, so you know what we're gonna do, based off Gareth's thing, which is great, will you record yourself doing a voice note of what you want different, of what you don't like about Pigli and Moe, and email it to the show?

If you have thoughts about the show, good or bad, send a voice note in. Obviously we can't include them all, but they might start appearing randomly. They might be tags at the end of episode like it could also just be American flag shorts at the end. Yeah Stay callers responses. Yeah, we could just listen to our comments I think it's really fun, but I got a an email that I thought There we got an email that I thought you would get a kick out of okay So I'm starting to pull some of these because I know you're not reading them but you will like it. Okay. It says, just a shout out. I just wanted to write in for

the MeeMawz Wig episode and give a shout out to my Nana, who is amazing. She's 92, lives alone, texts, FaceTimes and uses her iPhone, Apple TV, and Apple Watch like she invented them. She still drives, cooks, cleans, stays up to date on all the shows, and listens to your podcast. Oh my God. We have a 92 year old listener, Gareth. That's great. Mima. Shout out Nana. Shout out Nana.

N-O-N-N-A. That's awesome. Obviously, she's doing better than me, and I'm fine with that. Long live the tech savvy Italian queen of independence and drama. We love you guys, and we love you Nana. Oh, well, I mean, not to just go back to the well.

Pretty good. But that's a great intro. We should have Nana on for it. Nana, you're totally right. She deserves it. You are exactly right. So two great things have come out of the people's response. Yes. More Nana, less Pigly and Moe. Listen, we will, fine.

Pigly and Moe were driving to a gig, they got into an accident, the car went off a bridge, they didn't have that thing they sell on TV where you could puncture the window with great ease, and they're gone. Well, let's do something that's going to annoy, but hopefully tickle a little bit. And let's report the death of Piggly and Moe.

Okay, all right, sure. All right. You ready? As Piggly Jr. and Moe Jr., they're children. All right, so this is it. This is the swan song. And by the way, this could end with us doing Moe Jr. and Piggly Jr. on the show and that's even worse For the audience's sake I sure hope not. I don't think we will. I don't think we will. Okay Okay, so this is they got on their parents computers. They went in their parents podcast studio

three two One wait and they what? No, no, podcast studio. Three, two, one. Wait, and they what? No, no, go ahead. No, you're right. Okay, three, two, one. Well, it's obviously a very tough episode of Pigly and Mo. Well, as you guys have probably heard, our beloved fathers have passed away in a truck accident.

Their Camry went off of a bridge and they didn't have the thing to puncture the window. And they're both gone. And reports similar to what they have in an airplane where they have the little black box and they can hear the audio they were both talking at the same time. But we're not gonna play that audio. We're not gonna play that audio because... Cut to the audio. Cut to the audio. I'll tell you, I'm excited for tonight's show. Wait, hold on, hold on, we are going over a bridge. Oh god, oh god. We are going over a bridge. Oh no, there's water coming out of the car! Do you have the little puncture thing? I don't have the puncture thing! Get the little puncture thing!

I don't have it, I never had it! A note to our listeners, always have a puncture thing in your car! I feel like this isn't the last you've heard from us! And uh, that was tough to hear. And without further ado, we love you Nana! We love you Nana. This episode of We're Here to Help, America's number one podcast, don't look it up, says the Garf Man, is sponsored by another podcast that we are fans of, The Big Flop. McDonald's collab with Monopoly in the 1990s was brilliant on paper.

The problem? Their head of security orchestrated the ultimate inside job. On Wondery's podcast The Big Flop, comedians join host Misha Brown to chronicle pop culture's biggest fails and try to answer the age-old question. Who thought this was a good idea? So listen to the big flop wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of the podcast we're here to help is brought to you by Spot and Tango. Spot and Tango's Unkibble.

It's been a total upgrade for my girlfriend's dogs. Unkibble is everything regular kibble isn't. It's made with real human-grade ingredients and personalized to what your dog actually needs. It's dry food that you can feel good about, and it's pantry-friendly, too. We had some issues with our dogs having itchy ears, some gut issues.

The way that we found this was that our dogs were eating a lot of grass. And I did some Instagram research because I'm now an unofficial vet. So we decided to switch up the food because it's not like they're going out to a bar. It's not the alcohol because we don't provide that and they have no independence. My dogs are eight and a half. My other one's nine, Sonny and Nora, and I thought, I'd like these guys to live until they're 16. You wanna know why?

Because I love them. These are special dogs, so I said, why don't I give them something special? We had a sponsor, I used our own promo code, I got a nice deal on it. The dogs liked it, I liked it, we now use it. Nora and Sonny can taste the difference with Spot and Tango's Unkibble. 50% off your first order. Spotandtango.com slash here to help. Code here to help.

When I give Gareth Reynolds a little bit of Smalls Cat food for Jose, the look on that little guy's face, and I'm not talking about Jose, I'm talking about Gareth, is pure joy. Then when you watch that little rat alley cat eat the Smalls, that little Jose gets so goddamn happy that if it doesn't make you happy, you got a black art. Smalls is a cat food.

It's a protein packed cat food with recipes made with preservative free ingredients you'd find in your fridge. And it's delivered right to your door. That's why cats.com names Smalls their best overall cat food. I have a cat, I don't know if you've noticed, I've turned my home into a museum for him, and he doesn't really care, but what he does care about is Smalls cat food. And guess what? It's not just me who thinks that Smalls is great, so does Elizabeth C. I've never met

her, but she seems awesome. And her review was, my cat was always so-so with her usual food. The cats are pretty so-so with everything. Sorry, that's commentary. But she is very enthusiastic about Smalls. Her breath is much better, and she poops much less frequently, and it does not smell disgusting like it used to.

So be like me, be like Elizabeth C. Get involved. It was started in 2017 by a couple of guys home cooking cat food in small batches for their friends. A few years later, here we are serving millions of meals to cats across the country. So what are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve for a limited time only Because you are a listener of our show You get 35% off

Smalls plus an additional 50% off your first order by using code here to help that's an additional 50% off when you head to Smalls.com and use promo code here to help. Again, that's promo code here to help for an additional 50% off of your first order plus free shipping at Smalls.com. Just do it! Hello. Hello. Good morning! Good morning! Wow, great energy!

What's your name, please? My name is Sav. Sav, okay. Sav? Yes. Great. Sav, where are you calling from? I'm calling from Pensacola, Florida. How old are we roughly, Sav?

I am 26 years old. 26 and we actually just got a new list of optional intro questions to ask our callers. What would you, Sav, what would you title your memoir? The end of your life, you're looking back, you got a book coming out. What's the memoir title for you, Sav? I feel like the first thing that just came to mind is the title, Not Sure What Just Happened. I'll tell you what, super insightful. I was going to say Sav the day, but I like yours better. Okay, Sav, What's up? What can we help you with?

Okay, so to give a little setup, this is not only an issue I'm having with my husband, but the one and only Jake Johnson as well. Whoa. I'm gonna practice this preface is always love, but it is a real issue that can happen in men, and I've noticed that, and Gareth, you do not have this issue very often. It is mustache sucking.

I had been married to my husband for eight years. I think he's the hottest guy in the world. And we got married when we were like 18. And so he couldn't really grow a mustache, which side note, we don't have any babies. That was his love. We got a picture of you two right here. Okay, yeah, he's got a beauty.

Okay, so he couldn't grow any facial hair then, but, or a lot, because we were 18, but now we're 26, and he was like, I wanna try this whole mustache thing out. And I was like, I think they're creepy, but give it a shot, babe. And he got one, and I was shocked by how sexy it was. I was like, okay, don't hate it.

However, the first time in my life I've ever taken notice to men sucking on their mustache Yeah, this is like they like put it in this is a thing their mouths and then suck it like there's nutrients in it Wow, this is this is an indictment on the gender honestly Yeah, you don't do it too often you do it every once in a while, but I think you keep your short enough But Jake I am such a fan and I love you. Thank you. But now you got me here watching the video hard See it and you got me so you suck it like there's nutrients in it like there's Like I suck it like a starving person and it's food. Yeah, Jake. That's what a safe or as 50 cents

Like a fat kid loves cake. Yes. And I can only imagine that your wife just loves it as well. But so all of this around back to the question, I am struggling. So I had him, I told him, I was like, hey, Dave, it's kind of gross. You are super sexy with it.

I love it. However, you have to talk. You're talking to me or Sav here? I don't know. Sav, Sav, I see the photo. He's got beautiful on here. I get it. Mine's sprinting off the top of my head. You sucked it.

You sucked it out. You're holding on it. I sucked it. So by the way, tell him this. If he sucks it too bad, it'll get pulled from his head to his mouth. The mustache is the straw to the dome. I'm not allowed people to know that. I am sucking a bald spot.

I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. I am sucking a bald spot. it'll get pulled from his head to his mouth. The mustache is the straw to the dome.

Yeah, I'm not allowed to know that. I am sucking a bald spot. All right, but keep going, Seth. And I've... No, you're good, you're good. So I've tried... Keep sucking it. Okay, so I... Tidal.

I have told him that I am just like, it's kind of gross, and he's just like, I don't think anyone else notices. So anyway, long story short story short ended up shaving it But then I went back to that picture a couple days ago and I was like damn he does look really fine with it though So my question is I think I want to pair it with a challenge if you're willing Jake I want to figure out a way to get my husband to stop sucking his mustache I've already told him I want him to grow it back.

But then maybe you can pitch things that would work on you as well. Because sometimes watching you, it's hard. Yeah. I gotta say, I gotta say, first of all, excellent setup. Yep. Thank you. Wonderful presentation. Very clear.

And you just evolved the show a little bit. We are now in a whole new era of the show, which soon people are gonna get annoyed with, but it's how we're part of the problem too. But I gotta tell you, no, but I like it. And I gotta tell you this, Gareth, this one's gonna be, the burden's gonna be on your shoulders, my ginger king, because I don't know how to pitch

on a problem when I am the problem. I suck my mustache, my wife tells me it's gross. So that's what I'm thinking is that Garrett should pitch what he thinks and you need to say, Jake, if you think it would work. So then let's do this. Not to boss you around. No, but I like being bossed around

and you're a bossy lady and I'm into it. And, but I think you're running this in a great way. So let's do this. Gareth, you pitch, Sav, you and I are the ones, you tell me if it works for your husband and I'll tell you if I could actually pull it off or if I would just go back to sucking my stash. Oh, okay. Does that sound fair?

I'm good with it. It sounds wonderful. I would just go back to sucking my stash. Well, does that sound fair? I'm good with it. It sounds wonderful. It's just even the word sucking my stash, it's so gnarly. I agree. I hate saying it. I almost barfed. And let me just say that I am not above this problem.

I'll pitch one practical up top, but- Shave it. But she wants it back. Not even shave it. It's the length thing. If you can keep it, it's when it starts, it's when it sort of starts to cross the border. No, but Jake will be short and he'll still suck.

I will? Saf, yeah. Yeah, I've noticed that you shaved like a couple weeks ago and are on one of the episodes on the Patreon a couple of weeks ago and you're still sucking. She is breaking this down like game film. But by the way, she's not wrong. No, you are taking this note very hard.

Because I know it's a thing that happens. I suck the corners, Seb. You pull them into your mouth, especially when Gareth is talking, which is kind of pervy, but keep going. That's not why. I think you like this girl too much, keep going. Come on, bingo. Hold on, you think I like the girls too much? Busted, admit it. No, can I tell you what it is?

I have an overactive mind and I gotta stay a little bit busy so I'm either doing like a leg shake or a weird thing with my finger or a mustache suck. My husband does the leg shake. Yeah, it's an over, because I'm trying not to interrupt the ginger king. So I'm like, go ahead. But if I don't eat my mustache, I'm gonna start talking.

Or my leg's gonna shake or my hand's gonna do something weird. Or I'm gonna start writing down, or I'm gonna get a little distracted and start thinking about something else. And I'm trying to stay focused on the goddamn problem. But the truth is your husband might have some of this stuff, but the solution isn't eat your mustache, my long haired king.

And also does he use curling creams or is that natural? And I want the truth. That's all natural. Yeah. Would it be hotter if he used creams? It's not a perm. Sav, you really, it's not a perm. I mean, I don't know We're huge fans of you you are by the way you you've

You jump you're in the posse. You're in the posse. Yeah, you're not you're not a caller. You're a pal There's a different thing. She's not a caller anymore. She's a mentor. Yeah, I agree. So what should we call this legend? your husband um I don't know if he's gonna be mad at me, but let's just call him his name Daniel Daniel. Okay. We'll call him Daniel Boy, then sweet little we'll call him Danny boy. I'm Danny Sam's just Jeff's just so you know Jake is off the one sip a day coffee thing, so you know, he's full tilt now, so you're getting a fully caffeinated guy, so there's some extra spice.

Oh, he did a full cup? Oh, he's off. He's gone. He's rocking. Wait, he did have a cup? No, he's seasoned. Sam, let's talk about this later. And I'll tell you why, because we're about to pitch.

We can have you back on and talk about this another time, but got a great problem. Okay drank way too much. Okay, but let's eventually round back to if you're back on coffee How are the poops but let's round back. Okay? By the way, I was just gonna say she we were like come on in and now she's got her feet on the table It is so here at the wall. It's like Sam. Come on. Well, okay, so I'm gonna pitch I got a few for Danny boy here the I'll pitch the most practical last here's my first is why don't we make a kind of like vinegary salve That we almost like when you're trying to get a kid to stop their thumb suck in their thumb

You put something on there that doesn't taste good. What if without overpowering the sense of smell, we come up with something that we just put on the base there that sort of punishes the taste buds each time he goes in for a rip of the stash. So like- Will he know? Or do I have to sneak this onto his mouth?

Look, you're gonna, in my pitches, you're gonna have to approach this as a couple. You're not gonna be able to do this while he's sleeping. So you're gonna say, I love the stash, and you're just gonna put a little bit of like Vaseline vinegar under the undercarriage of the stash to punish each suck. That's pitch one. Jake, if your wife wanted you to do that would you do it or would you just say no? I'd say no I'm not putting vinegar on my lip. It makes everything it makes everything I smell disgusting and it's ruining something I love and that's called lunch. Oh okay um I think

I'd have to sneak it onto his mouth like when he's sleeping if we're gonna go that route Don't hate it. Well, I'm gonna say if I found vinegar on my mustache I would ask so many questions about our love story and the trust that we have in our bond and I would go What's that gross smell you're putting on my face and she would go nothing. I would go I don't feel safe around you In our marital bed. Okay. Um, Gareth, it's't feel safe around you. In our marital bed? Okay, Gareth, it's a good start. Okay, yeah, and look, I'm very comfortable with the process. My next one is that we get Jake to record him shouting,

stop sucking your mustache, what are you doing? And that can not only be utilized for you every time you see it happen, for anyone out there who is dating or married or in a relationship to a mustached human, they can also utilize that to stop this epidemic. So a sound effect that you can hit that sort of like trains your husband It's like it's like kind of you know, it's sort of like it's shouting no to him in a fun way It's like training a dog like like training a dog Because let's be honest have these they're dogs these get your husband. They're animals. They're disgusting animals going out So that's pitch two, Seth.

Go ahead. I mean, I think it's good. I wonder that that would probably help with my husband to try and train him out of it. Like I said, not that he's a dog, but we would run into the issue of that wouldn't also work for Jake. Would not work for me, no. Okay, all right, okay. I think- But I like it. We could use it, we could use it.

Well, let me put that in the sidecar. I love how you're running this, Sav. You're doing great, you're doing great. You're valued, Derrick, your opinion's valued, but it wouldn't work on everyone, but I think it could work, it could work. And I feel that, and that's why- Do you guys want to taste of it?

Taste of yeah. Yes, we do know of this There's a product that wouldn't sell Imagine that on Shark Tank. Oh my god Sample barber would be like, yummy, yummy in my tummy, tummy. Robert? Robert. He cuts some off and chews it.

It's really tasty. I'm a goofball of a son. Can I try anything from your back? As he cracks himself up and falls out of the chair. All right, ready for this? Hey! I see what you're doing. Stop eating your mustache, you're an adult.

That's for ladies gazing, not for tasting. I mean, I feel like- More aggressive, like angry, like yours is like more like scolding. Can you be mad? Yeah. Hey, stop eating that goddamn mustache. That's for gazes, not licks.

That would work. That's great. You like that? That was, I don't like when you say do you like that, but I do. That one was a lot better. That was good. Okay, good. Okay. I think maybe we can incorporate that a little bit into pitch three.

So pitch three is that your husband agrees to have almost like a fun chore jar that we treat as a punishment. And every time he's caught sucking his mustache, you tell him and he has to go to the chore jar or whatever and pull out a fun little favor he's got to do on your behalf that is going to sort of course correct him after a few of these into realizing that he needs to stop because if he doesn't he has to go to the fun chore jar, pull something out and do something that benefits you. Gareth, you wonderful, wonderful genius. That is perfect.

And dare I say we could incorporate the Jake yelling into that as well. So you could play that. That's a sign that it's time to go up to the mason jar, pull out a piece of paper that you've put in there, and the things that he must do. That's the alarm sounding. Okay, okay, okay. This is wonderful, but now we need to take it to how Jake can do it. And I think if you, Gareth's because we can't see him if you catch him sucking the mustache during the podcast Jake has to like think of something like genuinely nice to say to you or compliment your curls

Maybe I'm not gonna be able to fully focus on it, but I think Jake when you have the mustache back, he's on the mustache right now. Any producer can comment? We can force a compliment out of you. Okay, I think that's really funny. I'll do it. So right now I am clean shaven, but when I'm done with this project- My husband is too, but he's growing out out so you guys will be in this together I will probably it'll take me a little bit of time because I got to finish this but naturally I will go back to having

fate a mustache and a beard and For Rob not attacking Sherlock if anybody catches it just say mustache and I will Sab what do you want me to do? I say a genuine compliment to Gareth. Or it could be to anyone on the show. Something that would also pain you a little bit. Yeah, cause that wouldn't mean, I love Gareth.

It would be easy to do. What about his curls specifically or his vests or his cat? Well, the cat for sure I would be fine with. The curls, here's the problem with the curls, Sev. They look handsome, they're fine. The problem is, it's a whole new generation of younger men doing it, and they're kind of 14 to 22. I just don't want-

Yeah, we're kids. I don't want Gareth doing whatever they'll call the yak hair or whatever they're called. We're children, we're kids. You can take care of your hair, but yeah. We're kids. And Jake, care your hair, but yeah. We're kids. And Jake, I think what you're not imagining is me walking up to a group of 22 year olds

with the similar style and just fitting right in. I'll pay for the video. I'm like a hundred percent. I'll pay to not watch the video. I will pay for the true to life 21 Jump Street where you're not trying to get drugs You're trying to get them to check out Gareth Reynolds calm anyone want to go to my website your door dates Yeah, what's up guys? Hey guys ever seen this unbelievable website. There's this comedian who's around our age. It's Gareth Reynolds Well, yeah, I think I'll do it you've escalated the the show and this is what I would say, you've elevated things. I would say, do you want the yelling Jake sound to go in conjunction with the fun favor

jar? Yes. I think we should maybe send that to Sav if we can too. But Sav, I just need to pitch on something really fast because it's honest. I don't think I would have a hard enough time pitching something nice about Gareth. I think it'd be fun. Gareth, what would you like to see Jake do? That you think would actually be really uncomfortable. And if I heard the mustache thing, I wouldn't

think like, oh, this is fun. I'll spin it. But like, you know how we used to with the Bears and Green Bay, where we used to whoever lost in the season, the other person and I lost more, I would have to dress in Green Bay clothes. We'd spend the whole night at Taylor Steakhouse and I was a Packer fan and all night we had to talk about how it's a great organization and honestly, it was an unpleasant evening for me. Here's what was so funny about that, Seth, was I remember one year, like, so I got to put Jake in whatever outfit I wanted that was like Packer Regalia. And I mean, I got him this Packer's Christmas hat and he looked at it and he goes,

you know, we're going to a restaurant, right? And I was like, yeah, maybe you're right. And we go in and they sat us on the second floor near the kitchen. Like, it was like we rented a floor. It was like, I mean, it was like we shut down the whole place for our dinner. They pushed us so far in the kitchen. Like, it was like we rented a floor. It was like we shut down the whole place for our dinner. They pushed us so far in the back. But it was true.

Jake, it is sports, but Jake really would struggle with having the conversation where he had to be very complimentary about the Packers. So for me personally, maybe I'll say I can pick if it's Packers or Curls. I think that's great. It's a great addition to the show. Sav, you feel like you've got your, you feel good with this suggestion? You feel good with where you're headed as well? Heck yeah. I do most of the chores around the house anyway.

So then this way I can get some help from it too. This is awesome. Hey Sav, can I ask you a question really fast? Yes. Do you want to stick around for the next call with us? Oh, hell yeah. Highly unorthodox. Highly unorthodox.

But then will you just keep doing your role? And will you start us off? Yes, I can do that. Pretty good. And will you start us off? And just see what happens? Yes, I can do that. Pretty good. Does that work, Sherlock or Rob, with our next caller? Or do we have like a follow-up that one of us has to drive more? No, no. That can work.

Alright. Sad, let's do it. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Hero Bread. Hero Bread is awesome. It's very easy to fit into your lifestyle if you have health goals. Bread helps you pack on the pounds. Hero Bread steps in, saves you. That's why they call it Hero Bread.

Hero Bread is absolutely delicious. I eat it on a regular basis. It is my bread of choice. I also like the bagels with four grams of net carbs, zero grams of sugar, and 19 grams of protein. It's truly delicious. I also use the tortillas, and then I get this vegan cheese, and I make a quesadilla, and I love it. Another thing that I do is I get the bread,

I put a nature balance butter on it, some olive oil and salt, and I just dip and eat. You never know it's low net carb and high fiber bread from the texture. It is soft, it is fluffy. So look, just get involved. They have so much stuff. Everything you could think of that is bread related. Hero does the healthy version of it.

And Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to hero.co and use code help at checkout. That's help at h-e-r-o dot c-o. Hello? Sav, the floor is yours. Hi, you're here with We're Here to Help with Garrett Reynolds and Jake Johnson. What's your issue today? Where are you calling from and what is your name? Is the caller here?

They've joined but they're still muted. All right, here we go. All right joined, but they're still muted. All right, here we go. All right, Sav, let's go again. We're in. We're probably going to play all this, obviously, even that. But let's just try. Oh, no.

Yeah, no. We really kind of play everything. We unfortunately. Sav, take it away. Hi, I'm Sav. You're here with We're Here to Help. And we got Gareth Reynolds and Jake Johnson. and we want to know who the hell you are What your problem is where you're from and what the title of your memoir would be?

All right, I'm Nick. I am from England. What was the other question? What would the title of your memoir be? My memoir? Good question. Thanks. I came up with it myself. Probably be, let's try that again. This is a great new question.

It is. That's a great one. This comes from the Patreon community, but that is great. Yeah patreon go join it. Let's try this again Wow Nick England, let's try that again Sav. Anything else you want to get out of Nick? Yeah one quick question Nick Do you have a mustache? I? Do yeah, how do you know? well Do you suck on it? No, what makes you say that?

Yeah, you do. No reason. So what's your question? What can we help you with today? It's a big one. I hope you guys are ready. The mustache or the question now? Both, both. All of it, all of the above. Take us away. It's a moral ambiguity, but I'm trusting you guys are going to look past that. We won't judge you.

We're not here to judge. My wife and I joined her family for a holiday two weeks out of the year in the summer. And it's a great time. There's six of us in total, me, my wife, her father and mother and her sister and her boyfriend. And we all get on really well, usually quite a chill though, sort of holiday. Me and my wife get on well with the sister and brother-in-law really well. So there's like a bit of a party time with the younger attendees and then chill time with the parents. And that's sort of the trend that follows.

Except once about three years ago, the last night of this two week holiday, my father-in-law just decides to absolutely send it after a barbecue and just get absolutely shit faced. And it was just glorious. It was just the best thing ever. Everyone loved it. Cherished memory. It's a bit character for him because he's a social drinker but he's a gentleman. He reserved, measured, quite a

calm individual, very self-control but this just one moment I don't know what spurred it on. But yeah, I, we're sort of gearing up for another holiday in a couple of weeks. Uh, holiday since that one time we've all attempted to try and bring this guy out of his shell just so we can see this magic happen again. It was, it was that good. And it just, the nothing we seem to be doing seems to be encouraging this guy to really let his hair down and just send it with his kids. And I'm hoping you guys will be able to sort of pitch on some ideas of how I can sort of

... Can you give drunk dad a name? Yeah, Jim. Jim. Wait, is that his actual name or is that his persona when he's drunk? That's his alias for this conversation. Okay. We have a video of Jim that we maybe won't use for the episode.

Oh, the name of the video. So I don't know whether you guys can play that to yourself. Okay, so we're about to watch the video of Jim, Nick's father-in-law, when he's on the piss as the English would say. And we're not going to be able to release the video. We are going to be able to play us reacting to it, Werner Herzog style. The reason is because I think it maybe is a bit of an embarrassing performance and we don't want Jim to feel shame or to out him or anything like that. So you might not be

able to see it but we will and we will be your liaisons to the visual as usual. I'll tell you what we're starting with is pretty bold. The starting point of the video is Jim the father-in-law I believe in a tree. Is that right Nick? Yeah that's right. Okay so the opening shot of him in a tree. All right, here we go. We ready? Oh my God.

My God. Oh my god. We have a monkey man. This is incredible. He's stuck in the tree. He doesn't know how to get down. He's and he's just, oh my God, he just jumps. He parkoured out of the tree. Yeah.

It's an amazing performance. By the way, for a 64 year old, like. It's shocking. 64. Yeah. This guy's a physical anomaly. God bless. If I.

Drunk Jim. Me too, I think so too. If I could jump out of a tree at 64 and land like that. Drunk. I'm fired up. You could, if I could jump out of a tree at 60 floor and land like that I'm fired up. You could tree now That's a good title too, by the way Okay, so well, maybe maybe there's a way we can figure out if we could just post the jump Maybe blur his face, something

like that. Because it is a remarkable, it is a hell of a leap. And what we're seeing is we're seeing the specimen in the tree clearly liquored up, but having a good time. He's talking shit about the French. Everyone's, everyone thinks his wife is a little freaked out that he's up there and Then to get out he just does an amazing jump I think the thing is when you first called I was like well, you know if this guy doesn't want to drink

It's a weird position for us to be like force him But we're a on your side and B after watching that that is You want that Haley's Comet to come around again in your life. I mean. Yeah, for sure. Jake, were you surprised by what we just saw there? I mean, yeah, I was.

And Gareth, I actually agree with you. At the beginning, I was thinking, I don't know. And now I'm thinking, Jim needs to come out again. Yeah, Jim needs some rules So we keep Jim safe. Yes, but there's a there's a part of Jim Who's needing to come out and the alcohol helps? Yeah It's 60 is 64 years old climbing a tree and jumping out of it like a goddamn chimpanzee should be celebrated ridiculed. I couldn't agree more. Nick, what have we tried so far?

Good question. It didn't end there either. He jumped in a pool fully clothed. He challenged everyone to a push-up competition. There were shots involved. It was just epic. What have we tried? Handing him drinks as he's lounging on a sun lounger.

After a couple, it's no, I'm good, thanks. Trying to, I don't know, just trying to kind of bring him along with the momentum of the evening as it's developing and that seems to sort of. How does he feel about the video? Is he proud of that moment? Well, I mean, as far as the family goes, it's like a cherished memory and something we've all got on our phones and we'll never let him forget. I think he's like accepting and

he had a great time. So I can't imagine he'd be that embarrassed. Yeah, but it's inhumane to put on a performance like that and be the soul of a party and then just deny everyone that for the rest of the time. I got my first pitch. I got my first pitch. He's a Sangria Cicada. I got a couple too. Yeah, go.

My first pitch is next big thing coming up, your anniversary or birthday, and he goes, what do you want? You go, I'll tell you what I want, I'll tell you what I want Jim. Who's talking there? That's Nick. What's going on with him? He's already drunk? No. Oh, okay. You say this, I'll tell you what I want. Why doesn't he just tell him what he wants instead of it? Cause I'm not sure what's happening. I'm trying to find the voice. I think what you then tell him is what I would like for my anniversary gift to your beautiful daughter is for you to let it rip and go back to Tree Gym.

Tree Gym is a pretty good name. The only gift I want is Tree Gym. Tidal. Tidal she yells. Tidal, Jesus Christ, Sav. You're killing it, Zav. But Nick, the idea of you straight up ask, he goes like, what do you want for your birthday?

What do you want for Christmas, for the anniversary? You say, I don't need a gift from him. I don't need a sweater. I don't need socks. I don't need a bottle of wine. I need to see inner gym out, but I think we need to put some rules and regulations. No climbing, no leaving the house, no weapons, no knives.

Why don't we want him climbing? We gotta put bumpers on this bowling alley because we can't have a gutter at his age. We gotta put him in a safe spot where he can let it rip, but no matter what, he's gonna knock some pins down. Now I will say, I think you're right, no trees, but I think the name Tree Jim is pretty good. And think maybe giving the not to Frank the tank him too much But giving him an alter ego title that is embraced is maybe helpful. What does he drink normally Nick?

Red wine with dinner or like Pale ales that kind of thing. Yeah. But what did he drink that night? Oh, everything. White rum, tequila. So booze is what sets him off. So I have a couple pitches and I think you could maybe implement a couple. But Sav, do you have anything you want to pitch before I jump

in? My pitch I don't think would be morally correct because I was thinking Spike the Wine. No. We can't. Believe me, we all thought it, but Sav, we can't drug the poor man. We all want his party animal out of the cage. He's a specific connoisseur as well, so you'd see that a mile away. Yeah, okay. So, well, this is what I would say.

Connoisseur leads me to my first pitch, which is, you know, maybe if it feels more like an event, we can start to grease the wheels a little. What about on this holiday, if you set up for like a mixologist to come over and kind of mix some fun cocktails for you all to try? And that way it feels a little more like a professional event. You're all doing it. And we're adding in like some more alcohol that's made... Because I do what he's doing, which is I try to just stay in the wine lane now myself.

Because honestly, the last time I was tree gym, it was not a beautiful performance where I stuck the landing as well. It was more embarrassing. So that's led me into the wine life. But I know if I was at a thing and somewhat, there was like a mixologist, like someone who's going, hey, let's do mint julelips and tequila sunrise or whatever,

that would get me more into it. So that would be my first pitch is like on this holiday, find a person to come over and make some fancy cocktails for the night. So I've got, can I pitch on that? Absolutely. When I first moved to Los Angeles, thanks, when I first moved to Los Angeles, I lived with the great Brian Patrick Farrell. One of the best.

And he had a 1950s bar in our living room and me, him, and Eric all lived in the same building and we hung out all the time. And the little bar, when you have it in your living room in your late 20s, was so cool to us. Yes. So whenever one of us would get a little bit of money, we'd buy a different bottle and we'd put it at the bar.

The reason I say that is we created a character named Carl and Carl was the living room bartender So if one of us and it only happened one time officially, but we would do it for each other But the idea is of what because we were both caterers at the time if one of us had a date He could text the other and say I'll be be home in 40, make sure Carl's there. And so when he got home with a date, I was in my little bow tie and my button down standing behind the bar and I served them cocktails

as they hung out in the living room until they went to the bedroom. And they felt like they were in an intimate evening, the two of them with a personal bartender. And Carl's drinking too, obviously. Yeah, for sure. Carl was drinking before he got Carl's drinking too, obviously. Yeah, for sure. Carl was drinking before he got the call to go to work. Right, of course.

And so my thing to you, Nick, is what if you create Carl and one night when you guys are going, you say, I'm gonna be the personal bartender this evening. So if anybody wants a drink, I'll just be making them and passing them. So you just then say, hey everybody, Carl's got a house special and you pretend to be the bartender, you walk from the table,

you come back and you go, drinks on the house everybody, some tequila sunrises or some vodka sodas with a splash of fresh lime. Everybody goes like, ooh, thank you, Carl. Here's what I like about most of that pitch, Nick, is that if it seems like it's something that you have interest in or your wife has interest in, it almost puts it's almost like you're kind of sharing in something that you care about, which maybe adds more investment. Yes. And Jimbo has to take sips because he loves you guys. And I think we know once you get to a certain point

Jimmy's climbing a tree. Well, that is that is the thing too It's once you have a couple it just becomes a lot easier and I just want to remind anyone who's gonna comment on this episode that a we're on Nick's side and B this video of this man is Epic it's not like he was like we put it on our patreon and B, this video of this man is epic. It's not like he was like. Nick, can we put it on our Patreon? We don't have enough on the Patreon that'll ever get back to him, but it's worth seeing if anybody wants to.

Well, we gotta blur his face. Okay, so Sab, where are you at with this? I think it's good. I think the guilt approach of saying, hey, Nick, this is Nick. I'm very interested in this. I want to know if this is good or not. And looking at Sweet Daddy and saying, hey, Nick, this is Nick. I'm very interested in this. I want to know if this is good or not. And looking at sweet to daddy and saying,

please take a sip of this drink and seeing how it goes could really work. I wonder, is Jim, is Jimmy boy, is he nervous to get that drunk again because he's like scared of what he'll do? Cause you could also assign like a buddy system of like a tree Nick Watcher

interest in watcher Baby set him like a shadow No, I think a little bit more context This was the last day the day the the instant when the video happened It was the last day of the holiday and Jim had to When the video happened, it was the last day of the holiday, and Jim had to get in his car first thing in the morning on the first hangover he'd had in decades in drive from the south of France back to England. So there's like this negative reinforcement thing going on there.

In terms of the homemade cocktails, my sister-in-law and her boyfriend actually do that. And we get an Airbnb with a private bar with like a little bar sort of area. So they're the guys doing the mixologist stuff and handing them out. And he seems to be relatively sort of indifferent in terms of getting involved because his daughters made it. What I was going to say to the mixology pitch is if you make it more of an event with a menu and maybe we name a drink after gym like like a gym and tonic, or something like that, that maybe kind of, it's like, you got a cocktail named after yourself, you gotta try it.

Like if they come up with something like that, that maybe, and they could do that for all of you. If they came up with like a menu that each one of you had a drink, you know, that was for you, and we all try each other's drinks, that might make it feel like more of an event. The other pitch I have is that, you know, if you made some shirts with Tree Jim on it and we sat him down and we said,

Jim, we love Jim. Yeah. We need Jim. But once a trip, and then we kind of all reveal we have Tree Jim shirts and we're like, we want a Tree Jim. I love this. You know how we could also do that?

You guys could be all saying like a night starts when he and mom-in-law are not there yet, when you know they're coming to the table in a little bit, and be talking about this unthinkably fun character that you don't see enough, and they don't know who you're talking about, and they go, you know, we just love him, and blah, blah, blah, and the reveal is this legend,

this king, this savior of evenings, this person you guys all text about and think about and love is Tree Jim and he's with us tonight, but we just need you to free him. And then like simultaneously the whole family starts going all hail Tree Jim. Jim Jim. All hail Tree Jim. Jim Jim. And then you have shirts.

One of us. I think one of us Rips open their button shirt and tree Jim's on each one. Yeah and pass him one too with a drink Totally and I think the shirt if you can get him like some We can even find someone from the show who can just draw you a rudimentary Silhouetted man in a tree and And I think it should say, free tree Jim. I think like what you said Jake. Calling all audience members who are creative and want to do it. We know you're out there.

Somebody send up a mock drawing and we will forward it to our friend Nick. Free tree Jim. Somebody send up a mock drawing and we will forward it to our friend Nick. Free tree, Jim. That's brilliant. So I'm thinking- Nick, what are you thinking? Great timing, Sav. That's exactly what I was about to say.

It's time to shift into that gear, Sav. You know the goddamn schedule. I think what might've helped with the first time was I think I made a comment at dinner saying, Jim, I think you're probably one of the most disciplined people I've ever met. And I think part of his head was like, I'll fucking show you discipline,

then that might've kicked off. That opened up a can of worms of new pitches. That does too. Yeah, well, and so I was thinking like, the free tree gym idea with all of us with the hidden t-shirts is absolutely hilarious. And then I'm kind of thinking having like an anti intervention where we're all sat around and then Jake, what you said then about this glorious man tree gym, you know, we love tree gym.

Where is it? Like, I think having like that come on on the TV or something like that would just be absolutely hilarious. Yes. and like that come on the TV or something like that would just be absolutely hilarious. Be so fun, yes. Nick, I think it is, I think you can make the pitch. I would get the shirts, I would play the video, and I would be like, we celebrate you, Tree Gym, and then take off your button downs

and show the free Tree Gym shirts. And have shots ready. And have shots ready. So Nick, what are you gonna do? I think that sounds great. The shots in personalized cocktails ready, the video of tree gym, tree gymming, us within t-shirts. I'm wondering, is there any way to have like a voiceover or like an appearance at the end of that video

Do you want to take it Jake? Do you want to throw maybe a little something like a little plea at the end? Yes, sir Nick what you're asking I just want to say this because we're gonna get a lot of comments people hate Piggly and Moe people Hate when we miss is not a big one. Oh, this is a J I knew that Piggly and Moe was coming. No, they're not Everybody hates them. They died in a car accident. Like it was chapiquiting. Okay, they passed away. I don't Pigly mo died the audience killed big But so Nick, what are you looking for? Cuz I'm happy to do it. I'm sure mo and pigly is too

But we just gotta know what we're doing zombie mode He's a beatbox man. I don't know. I played the video and at the end of it you two could be... And Sav. And Sav, sorry, yeah, of course. Please don't forget me. A lot of people did. You three could be, I don't know, like, Jim, we've asked you here today because we all love you.

Okay. And that kind of thing. But I know Jim doesn't watch the podcast, so it's essentially Piggly and Mo and Sav. We're not doing Piggly and Mo with us. Okay, but we won't do it, but it's us, but basically it's them. No, because it's not a slice of a podcast. Since it's a podcast, he, because it's not a slice of a... It is a slice of a podcast. A podcast. And since it's a podcast, he doesn't know.

You're right. Everything's pigly and mo. But a more direct plea. It's not a slice of conversation. So then here's how we set it up. This is a fourth wall breaker. After the video ends, Nick, you start as you and then you throw it to us.

Can I start by using Israel name and then bleep that out Yeah, we will beep that out, but then we got to show a little bit of the video We just got to show the jump and we're not gonna call him Jim in the plea Yeah, yeah, don't call him Jim. There's no we can we'll be put out well, no We've said Jim so many times in this goddamn well, yeah. Yeah, no, we don't have to bleep that out But we just when we the video that he's gonna show Understood quote-un, no, we don't have to bleep that out. But we just, when we, the video that he's going to show, understood, quote unquote, Jim,

we don't want to be calling him Jim. We'll just refer to him as him. Jonah or Maury? Tree man. How about we, how about as Jonah? Well, it's the same thing. Well, we're calling him, we don't want to call him a fake name because then it's like,

well, why, who are these people calling me Jim or Jonah? Let's call him Ira That's not probably show me. I'll probably share the episode as I Holy fuck all right here. We go. Let's go. No. No. No. That's get me in my way. What's the first scream? Oh my god. Um, we've brought you here today because we, we miss Tree Jim. Uh, it's a cherished family memory. And we kind of feel like you're bogarting Tree T**tman. We want to see Tree T**tman again. We miss him.

And we've all collected here to try and bring this legend back out of you again. And to help us all do that, we've got a couple of guests that will hopefully speak to that as well. So I'll pass over. We got a few guests. We're going to start with our dear friend, Jim, Tree Jim, a lady named Sav. Sav, go ahead. There's not much we need more than you to come back,

Tree Jim. You stuck the landing. You brought joy. You opened hearts. Get drunk, my man. And now let it all hang out. Tree Jim, we're going to end this by G-Man is going to drop a little beat and I'm going to take us out with a little song that Nick, Sav, and I are going to put together for you. It's gonna be all about bringing you back in the tree in three, and Gareth, the whole thing should be about 20 seconds. Okay, okay, why don't you just not give me a note right now during the countdown.

Three, two, one. Maybe you're not getting me the right one. One. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Jim, when you go from wine to tequila, you become a king. You become Treat Jim and we love Treat Jim. When you come out and you drink the gin, you become Treat Jim and we love Treat Jim. Please party with us tonight.

Oh, stick the lane. We love you, Jim. Nick, your thoughts? Uh, speechless. Absolutely beautiful. Let's take the win. Take the win. Best sad.

You're the best. And Nick, keep us posted. When is the holiday? July. And then here's what we need to do. We need to bring you back for the follow-up, and Sav, you gotta be part of this follow-up. And dare I say, Jake... I wouldn't miss that.

Start this pitch early in the two-week holiday, and if you're getting some friction, do not be afraid to call back in with TreeJim, and we can give another pitch to see if it works. We'll do it live. We'll do it live. We'll do it live. Oh, brilliant. Thank you. All right. Nick, Sav, thank you guys.

Appreciate it. Producer Sherlock here. This next call is a follow-up to episode 147, Long Island Lisa with Michael Cera. Hello. Hello. Hi. That's that big hello. We know you. Who are you? Oh.

Who are you and what was your first call? Hi. My name is Kate. I called about my daughter Darcy liking my Alter Ego grocery store person better than me. Oh, right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I called about my daughter Darcy liking My alter ego grocery store person better than me, right? This was the Mike Sarah one Okay. Yeah, and he told me it wasn't a problem. That's Yes, so that just to be clear you have a daughter and you've created an alter ego named Darcy who does a Long Island accent My daughter's name is Darcy. Okay, he created an altar or I created an alter ego She named it Lisa and it's from and she's from Long Island She was a grocery store. Will you give Gareth a taste of Lisa? Just talk to Gareth for a little bit as Lisa

Okay of Lisa, just talk to Gareth for a little bit as Lisa. Okay. Welcome to the grocery store, welcome. And I'm here working today. Usually I'm working at the hair salon. You know what I do, I do my big hair. But today I'm at the grocery store because Gary has the day off. So I'm coming in today because I just can't be home

with him when he's doing his bit in on horses. That's great. Yes. Now Gareth, what do you think the problem is from Darcy, her daughter's point of view? Well, it's, we've got Lisa, who's awesome and chatty, and Kate, who's normal and regular. And Lisa's exciting.

How old is Darcy? Three and a half. Yeah, I mean, holy shit, come on. Oh, great, and so Kate, what did we advise? What was our final advice? So your final advice was For me to play with her as dark as Lisa But then come in as Kate, but with a lollipop

So I like Pavlov turn to thinking Okay So I like Pavlov turned to thinking when you play with mom, you get a lollipop. Okay. Um, and it worked. I think I sent, I sent in a clip. We did. The clip was really sweet. It was, uh, your daughter liking Kate at the end. Oh, yeah.

She ended up being like, Oh, a lollipop. So cool. It worked. Yeah. Oh, a lollipop. So cool. It worked. Yeah. So then walk us through where we're at now with Kate, Darcy and Lisa. So the execution of plan, obviously, like the plan worked. I struggled a little bit with like dipping in and out of Lisa as myself in real time in front of a three year old because it was hard to do on the lollipop. Only Robin Williams can really do it perfectly.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's no lag time. I didn't know what I was gonna say. Who hasn't had struggle in transitions? Now. Yeah, but she was like so excited about the lollipop. She wasn't like, oh, mom's having a psychotic break.

So it worked. It worked out. She expanded the Lisa verse since then, and it's getting really confusing and weird, but the original problem was like, she wants to play with me without Lisa sometimes. So that's, Oh, that's cool. Cause that's never, that was never the case before. So now she'll be like, I just want mom and she'll get upset at the accent if she's not into Lisa.

be like, I just want mom. And she'll get upset at the accent if she's not into Lisa. So Kate, this is, your tone is a little bit like it's not working, right? But what your words are, problem solved. Am I correct or not correct here? Yeah, I mean, the original problem is solved. I've just created a bigger problem. I'm gonna, the universe is too expansive. Yeah, I created a separate problem. I understand what's happening. Okay, created a bigger problem with this. Oh, that's what's happening. The universe is too expansive.

I understand what's happening. Okay, so hold on, hold on. First victory. Belle? Yes. Big W. Belle. Belle some Belle. Thank you. So now, first problem solved. You've got

a problem too and that is you've created too rich of a world of characters is that correct? Yeah she's expanded it sometimes she wants to be Lisa now and now there's two Lisa's and there's it's I think we're just gonna have to be the improv house like if you're coming to my house you're just gonna have to get ready to improv. Yeah, but Kate, so what is the, cause I'm not understanding the problem. What is the specific question with the second problem?

And we might not even try to pitch on it. We might take our victory here, but I'd like to hear it first. The Lisa verse is just becoming so comprehensive in her brain that I can't keep up with it. And I'm constantly having to dip in and out of myself into Lisa. She's adding a new character, certain people are not allowed to play certain characters. I got an easy pitch.

I'm still a little in the weeds, but go ahead. So here's what I mean, I get why you're in the weeds. I think if you, the first call set it up a little bit more in that it's Kate created Lisa, who you've heard. Yes. Lisa's great. Darcy likes Lisa, but now Darcy likes Lisa and Kate, but Darcy is really evolving the Lisa world in a way that Kate can't keep up.

That Darcy is sometimes Lisa as well. And, or like Lisa's- Yeah, my husband is Janice, my son is sometimes Janice. Well, these are new names. Yeah. Yeah. So the kid's just going nuts with it. So here's what you need to do.

You need to transition Darcy from you guys to her dolls. And when you start doing Lisa, have some little doll in front of her that looks like the pup is doing it. You got to sesame street it a little bit. And then have her do the voices of all of them. She's just trying to play basically action figures with a real-life family. Does that pitch get us in the direction of Lisa is no longer...

Kate is no longer Lisa. Kate no longer is Lisa at all. Okay. I have a pitch on how to get rid of it too. Darcy creates the voice of Lisa for her dolls. Because I don't want to kill off Lisa. And I don't want to have Lisa moves away. Yeah, I don't want to kill off Lisa.

I want Darcy is in control of all these characters and she could play by herself in her room and all her characters, all her little stuffed animals. She can do the voices, but mom is Kate. Okay. What do you think of that? Okay. I don't think she's gonna go for it. You don't? Okay. Just knowing Darcy. She's gonna give me a heart no.

Do you want to get rid of Lisa for yourself? Or whatever? You're kind of like whatever. My original problem, you guys solved it and I'm okay with the Lisa universe and I think I've accepted the fact that if you're coming to my house and you're gonna play with Darcy, you need to be able to be a part of this. Because it's, I mean, it's kind of interesting to watch her create this insane world.

Great imagination. You know what I mean? You know what I really feel, Gareth? Yeah, I think, and I don't really tailor imagination. And just, cause I- I wanna take the win and get off the goal. I get it. Because here's, because- I get it, because- We're now getting in a world,

and this isn't a bad thing Kate but like This is getting trick. I'm like we got a victory You got the victory and I'm I I consider to win and I'm not gonna squash it through old imagination Because I have a feel like I don't know this is no can I let me add one last pitch? That's not in the direction of stopping this in any way. Get some matching Lisa wigs that you and your daughter can wear, and sometimes that shows a very clear time

when you can be the character and when you can't be. I do like that, actually. Clear Lisa time. There you go. Great, wigs. Have a good life. Kate, we appreciate the call. We're taking this goddamn victory. There you go. Great. Wigs. Have a good life. Kate, we appreciate the call.

We're taking this goddamn victory. Thanks, Kate. You too, I guess. Green up out. Bye, Lisa. Appreciate it. Bye, guys. Wait, hold on.

Before we go, Lisa. Yeah. What do you think of this follow-up call? Where are you at? You know what? I think we did it. I didn't want to die, I really didn't. I didn't want to get killed off. I really like playing with Duffy.

And I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. I really do, we got to keep playing. Kate's a little crazy, they're going in and out. It's too much, but you know what, we're gonna make it work. And Lisa, what do you think about Kate's vibe on this follow-up? You know, she came in a little shaky, but I think she picked it up at the end I think I did there. You know I think she wrapped her head around she didn't come in great

But you know we finished strong least she finished strong, and what do you think Lisa? How how would you rate? The we're here to help guys in there if you were to grade us which we used to do we haven't done in a while How would you grade the call, the solution, where everything's at with your dear friend, Dars, and your friend, Kate? Lisa, give us a grade on this. You know what?

Long time listener, first time caller, 10 out of 10. You guys did great. My daughter is always happy, because she's got dum-dums coming out of here at this point, let me tell you. Ain't that right, baby girl? We're having a good time, and I'm excited for the new outfits and wigs that we're about to meet you

I think it's gonna be a lot of fun and Lisa what kind of music you listening to these days? Um, you know me I like I like a little vibe and one and it's like the 80s bops, you know I like a little vibe the hair salon music. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and who's your biggest rival? You know what Janice's ex-husband I can can't stand him. He's too much. I don't like him. Why? What's the matter with him? What does he do? You know, he's a dog. He's a dog. He was texting girls on the side. I don't like it. I don't like it. He said he would go to bed the ponies. He got rid of all that money on those ponies. Let me tell you. That piece of shit, Lisa.

One other question for you, not including Darcy and Kate. Who's your best friend? You know it I love Janice I love it a dust yeah, I gotta say Understand Lisa now we got to go one other quick question. What's your relationship like with your mother? Oh My goodness, You know what, she, you know, when we had high school, you know, it gets a little rocky, you know, the teenage girls and the mothers, but you're really blonde in your 20s with your mom. And now that I'm in my 30s, oh, God love her.

Okay, so can I talk to Kate for a second? To us saying you guys have a good day. You too. Hey guys. Hey Kate. Here's the problem. Lisa's incredible. She's awesome.

I know. And so I think what you've done too good of a job. You're a victim of your own talents. But here's the real problem, and I think I now do have a pitch. Kate, you can't handle the Lisa-verse. You're trying to write somebody else's story. Lisa is the head writer of the Lisa verse. You're trying to write somebody else's story. Lisa is the head writer of the Lisa verse. So if your daughter asks you, you don't know. I honestly, in my heart of

hearts believe you don't know, Kate, but I believe Lisa does. You got to just see yourselves as separate. So if she's got any questions about Lisa, it's overwhelming for you, Kate. You can't handle it. Talk to Lisa. I got to dip in because it's too much. But you as Kate, you don't have the answers. But Lisa does. So if she goes, if Darcy goes, what's da da da? You're going, oh let me think. Just go, give me a minute, just ask Lisa. And if she ever asks you, go mommy can't deal with this right now, I'm making mac and cheese honey. I don't know. But maybe after you eat you can Lisa and Nick and ask her all these questions.

Yeah. She's wise beyond her years. Not Lisa. She is. Um, that's strange. It's a little concerning, right? Kate. No.

Okay. Okay. Go ahead, buddy. But, so the pitch to the second problem is, this is Lisa's problem, not yours. Lisa and a wig, yep. Yep. Okay.

Happy? Very happy. That's two W's for you guys in one call. Last but not least, can you throw Lisa back on? Jake, she's just gonna keep blathering. No, she's wonderful. All right, hang on. Hey, guys.

Hey, Lisa, can I ask you a quick question? Sure thing. What do you think about the Wednesday episodes? The what episodes? So sometimes we've been dropping season two a Wednesday episode where we'll do like a re-release. Sometimes it's not the same show always as our Mondays. What do you think about the second episode of the week?

What's your take on it? It's like a B side. Yes. Yes. One. You know what? I like it because like I said, I've been listening from the beginning. So it's like a little, like a little refresher, like a little memory, like

nice little walk down memory lane in the middle of the week. You know what I mean? Like, it feels comforting to know it. I think it's nice. You know what I mean? Like, it feels comforting to know what's coming up. That's what we think too. And here's another question for you, Lisa. We still got another bunch of episodes to do. What can we improve upon and what should we be thinking about as we move this show forward,

Lisa? You're a smart lady. Oh, thank you so much. I think so too. You're wise beyond your years. I hear it all the time. You know, I think you guys are really doing a great job. I do think, you know, sometimes you get a little ahead of yourself.

You're chatting, chatting, chatting, people waiting to dip in, and from the other end, you know, we're jumping in a little bit. So I think maybe sometimes we just got gotta sit back and listen a little more. Put on our listening ears, really open our hearts. And what do you think about this? Lisa who doesn't shut up. Go ahead. Hey, Gareth, would Lisa like that? No, no, no. It's just very interesting for Lisa to say something like that when her old most leaf is chatterbox. I'm not starting with you. I'm not starting with you. Lisa, the reason I'm asking you is because you're giving it to it straight and I appreciate it.

I think sometimes when you force someone to criticize change you're not gonna hear one so go ahead Lisa what do you think about the longer intros and I tell you why we do it Because the ad company wanted to throw ads in the middle of the calls which we didn't like So we're just doing a little bit longer intros because we don't run the ads they do But what do you think lease? You know as a person who listens to podcasts in my car on the way to work or wherever I'm going I like a long intro I do because it gives me time to adjust and get ready for the episode I don't like the middle episode so much Yeah, I don't like the intro if I don't have to listen to the middle of the episode dip. I gotta be honest. I like it That's exactly right. So we'll just spend about like 10 minutes. We'll catch up with each other

We mostly do it at the beginner, but you like that too Yes, and Lisa what's going on Lisa? What's going on with your love life, honey? Where you at? Hmm. Oh, you know, I'm married Love of my life that man. Oh Gary. I love him so much married. No, he does You know, he does get on my nerves sometimes, but you know when you've been married as long as I have What are you guys at now? What's your next anniversary? We had 25 years me and Gary. It's amazing And how's this? What's going on with Gary's health I heard there was something with his heart am I don't think I don't think you heard

With Gary's health I heard there was something with his heart of my adult. I don't think I don't think you heard No, it wasn't his heart, but he does have a bad hip from all of those years playing hockey, you know So he's got a little little limp. Sometimes he played for that too. What was the name of the team? the Edmonton Oilers What's his last name I'll look him up real quick, okay Lisa, I'm not gonna make you do this you're not gonna have to do that. Gary from Long Island. All right, Gary. Played for the Edmonton Oilers. Is he from Canada? Before God, before God, before God. What's the Canadian Association? Did he ever live in Canada? Where did he live in Canada?

Newfoundland. What? Goodbye, goodbye. Hang up. Hang up. He's about to get you. Goodbye. This is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this

is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this What? Goodbye, goodbye. Hang up. Hang up. He's about to get you. Bye. Goodbye. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at HelpfulPod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced

by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Themed song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strilecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentoldes.com. Remember all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only,

and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. ["We're Here to Help"] All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod. Hi, I'm Jessie Klein.

And I'm Liz Feldman, and we're the hosts of a new Headgum podcast called Here to Make Friends. Liz and I met in the writer's room on a little hit TV show called Dead to Me, which is a show about murder. But more importantly, it's also about two women becoming very good friends in their 40s. Which can really happen, and it has happened to us.

It's true. Because life has imitated ours. And then it imitated life. Time is a flat circle. And now. We're making a podcast that's about making friends. And we're inviting an incredible guest like Vanessa Bear. Wow, I have so much to say.

Lisa Kudrow. Feelings, they're a nuisance. Nick Kroll. I just wanted to say hi. And Matt Rogers. Iings. They're a nuisance. Nick Kroll. I just wanted to say hi. Matt Rogers. I'm like on the verge of tears. So good.

So good to join us and hopefully become our friends in real life. Yeah, take it out of the podcast studio and into real life. Along the way, we are also going to talk about dating. Yep. Spousing. True. Parenting. Uh-huh.

Career-ing. Yeah. And why we love film, and Louisa and It's the Greatest Movie of All Time. Shouldn't need to be said. No, we said it. It's just a true thing. So please subscribe to Here to Make Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts or wherever you get your podcasts and watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Friday.