We're Here to Help - 175: A Thing For Dinosaurs (with Derek Waters and Zach Shields)
Episode Date: May 28, 2025For this bonus episode, Jake and Gareth are joined by Derek Waters (Drunk History) and Zach Shields (Godzilla vs. Kong). Together, they help a caller with a dinosaur obsession that threatens ...his marriage.Do you and someone have unresolved beef? Email your beef to solvemybeef@gmail.comSee caller images here!Want to call in? Email your question to helpfulpod@gmail.com.PATREON: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Gemini.
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We're here to help.
We're here to help.
And we are back.
And we are back.
With a special one.
So we've got a special
start. We're in studio.
Which is new.
It's the first time you and I have ever been in studio together.
In this studio.
I thought we'd have more of a pop, but it feels like it's over.
How do you feel about it?
Good!
How about you?
Good.
It's good to see you, man.
We are with you two.
We saw each other this morning on Zoom.
Well, still.
But since then and now, you've permed your hair.
Wrong.
He does.
He's got hair like yours, but when we do these, because we used to be on YouTube, he started perming his hair like yours but when we do these because we
used to be on YouTube he started perming his hair it's not true it's all it's
good thank you Derek it's a lie by the way but imagine your hair like this one
day and then one day it looking like that and then he gets surprised when I
comment on it no I mean it's been over a year that I've been putting curling
cream in my hair yeah so yeah can I pay you to do the curling cream in next time you come on?
Yeah, I'll do it.
Great.
Okay, great.
That's how it did on Trunk History.
They're like, you need to look younger.
Just curl my hair.
Is this a real thing?
Yeah, that was like a go-to thing.
They told you you needed to look younger?
Well, they would just say like, we'll just curl your hair.
Wow, look at that.
See, that's what happens, Jake.
You don't understand. See, Jake, you're outside of this Hollywood curling thing. Wait, is this real life? Well, they would just say like we'll just curl your hair
Yeah, that was a real thing they would do on the show you would curl your hair I wouldn't they would curl it It's amazing for Comedy Central to have that. Yes. I don't know. This is new information. This is shocking
No, how would they curl it? This is shocking! You just put like a curling iron in my hair and put curls in it.
I got more!
Did you feel like it made you look younger?
It was like in the reenactments.
Oh, I thought you meant when you were...
As a character.
As a character.
Yeah, okay.
That's so different.
I'm sorry.
I thought you meant when you were hosting as...
Hey, how does that even feel?
So this is not a character. Yeah, yeah. But it was a thing that went... It's a character. When you were hosting
But it was a character he should look younger he's playing like yeah
Pinwheel hat yeah, and by the way, I'm playing in my 20s
Thank you, it's the character of Garrett. It's the second half of my life I'm going to be playing young me. Sorry.
Yeah.
My favorite thing was Eric Edelstein for years would go, and this was all the way up until
a year and a half ago, and he's my age, so he's 46 or 47.
He would go, man, I can't wait till I can start playing young dad.
He goes, once I start getting auditions as young dad, and I had to finally say, hey man, mid-40s, take away young.
To think that you're still waiting.
Just die, my man.
No, they never cast you as Young Dad.
But it ain't young.
And he was like, man, he's like the Young Dad era.
And I'm like, look at us.
We're going to crush during the Young Dad era, buddy.
Young Dad is 17.
It's not these two old men sitting in a restaurant
having lunch. I don't know. Will they buy that I it's not these two old men sitting in restaurants having lunch.
Yeah, I don't know, will they buy that I have a child?
Oh yeah, yeah they will.
They'll buy that you have a grandkid, my man.
Yeah.
So we got Zach Shields and we've got Derek Waters.
Hello.
And we're very excited to have you guys.
Zach was in the band Dead Man's Bones.
Yes sir.
And I said it correctly?
Perfectly. Kind of, but I almost said sir. And I said it correctly? Perfectly.
Kind of, but I almost said bone.
No, I mean, it was a, you gave it a lot, but it was nice.
Yeah, but I blew it at the end.
No.
And I got nervous.
I got nine out of 10 nervous.
It happens.
It does.
Yeah.
We got a special intro.
Zach and Derek and I have been working on an idea,
which I'm very excited about.
It's a documentary.
Yes sir.
That Zach first came to Derrick on, is this correct?
We're excited and we are asking the audience,
are we here to help audience for potential submissions
if you want to be in this doc?
Derrick obviously created Drunk History, but don't think of Drunk History,
we're not gonna get you drunk.
But we are looking for a subject
and we're gonna give you an email if you are interested.
If you're not interested,
then enjoy the doc when it's finished.
But do you guys wanna talk a little bit
about what this project is going to be?
Sure.
Well, without giving too much away.
Yes, we're not gonna spoil much. No, we're looking for beefs. Yes. We're looking for grudges. Sure. We, well, without giving too much away. Yes, we're not going to spoil much.
No, we're looking for beefs.
Yes.
We're looking for grudges.
Yes.
Unresolved issues.
Okay.
Yeah, go ahead.
I just want to cut you off and tell you to keep going.
Okay, thank you so much.
Stop, now go.
Something that you can't resolve on your own.
Yes.
You need a little bit of help.
Nothing too serious. Nothing's going to end up in court. No. We need a little bit of help. Nothing too serious.
Nothing's gonna end up in court.
No.
We don't want anything like that.
We're talking about stolen muffin recipes.
Yes.
Small town dramas.
Why won't that stop sign be put up there?
Yes.
Problems that would work for our show
is why I connected it to this in the intro.
Now, the difference is what we would need for this
is we need a very clear protagonist, an antagonist.
So a lot of our show is we're just helping the one person.
We would need to know who the other person is
if they would be interested in being involved,
but we don't want you two guys being friends.
This is not like two college roommates.
We want that beef to be significant enough
that you're not really talking.
That even though it's not serious
in that the problem is small, the issue is pretty big.
And it's at the point where you two are not
going to family events, not doing whatever,
but there's a true divide over a small issue.
Yes.
And you have an example.
I do.
Well, I didn't, I mean, there is nothing worse
than an unresolved issue, haunting you for no reason.
My dad and I didn't talk for 20 years.
Is this true?
This is true.
For 20 years?
Right if it was a lie.
Yeah, totally.
No, for 20 years.
What 20 years by the way?
Why?
No, which, when did it start?
From 17 to 37.
No way.
And were you guys close up through 17?
Yeah, on and off.
Not that close.
Did he raise you?
Kind of.
Okay, I understand.
Sometimes. Yeah, yeah, I gotcha. Not that close. Did he raise you? Kind of. Okay.
Sometimes.
Yeah, yeah, I gotcha.
There were some issues.
Yeah, there were some issues.
It wasn't down in a year up until 17.
Forget to call him and then, yeah.
I have a dad.
Yeah, I got it.
No, it was on purpose.
But one day I was writing this vampire movie for Universal, and halfway through it was
a father and son story.
And I realized, I'm not mad at my dad anymore.
Right. So I called him and I told him. I said, hey, I'm not mad at my dad anymore. Right. So I called him and I told him, I said,
hey, I'm not mad at you.
I wrote this vampire movie.
I told him about the movie.
I wrote this vampire movie and he says,
that's good to know.
I'd love to read it.
So now we talk.
He read the vampire movie.
And I was really worried because there's all this,
for me it's so personal, this back and forth
between his father and son and he reads it
and he calls it and he calls
me.
And he goes, hey, I read your vampire movie.
And I said, okay, cool.
What'd you think?
And he goes, and I was so, so nervous.
He was going to take offense to it.
And he goes, well, I didn't know when you stab a vampire in the chest, they turn to
dust.
That was all I got out of it.
And I was like, that's it.
And he's like, that's it.
And he's like, that was pretty cool.
And I was like, 20 fucking years.
20 fucking years, man.
And that was it.
And I realized that can be that easy.
It can be that easy.
We talk all the time.
You do?
Yeah, fully.
We're not here to save the world.
We just want to help people with grudges.
Every person that I had grudges with is all dead
and I don't want that to happen.
I don't have any problems with anyone that's alive.
Not true.
This feels like you're sugarcoating.
You got some grudges.
I've known you for 20 years, man.
You wrote that part, but it ain't real.
Let's give them the email.
Yes, what is the email?
The email is solvemybeef.
Solvemybeef at. Gmail. Okay, so everybody, if you want to send it in there, Yes, what is the email the email is solve my beef solve my beef at gmail
Okay, so everybody if you want to send it in there
And then if you want to just send our show send in we will have access to that email, too
So now to tack we will still also be seeing it if one of the beefs works for both
We're gonna also bring them on the show
And yeah, it's gonna be really fun. We've had a lot of fun doing it together
I think it's gonna be great and we are hopefully somebody sent something. Yeah, what's your thought on it?
I like the idea. I think it's gonna be fun, right? Yeah
and I also think like one of the things we
Filter out is like anything kind of serious and we don't have the longevity to be able to
Actually resolve a beef on that level. So one more time the name of the email
Solve my beef at gma.com. Okay.
And the last thing I'm gonna say that's like in a way of drunk history is like when people would
get drunk and passionate, I would call it frustrated passion. Like that's the same thing is like,
why won't this happen? Why won't this stop sign be committed to this corner? There's going to be
death if there's not a stop sign there. Like that kind of feeling. There we go. Let's enjoy the show.
It's not a stop sign there, like that kind of feeling. There we go.
Let's enjoy the show.
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Hello. Hello. How are you? Good, good. How are you guys? Good. Welcome to the show.
Can we get your name please? Sure, it's Rob. Rob? Yeah. Rob. And where are you
calling from Rob? Well currently I'm in Grove and Florida but I'm from Ewing, New
Jersey. I'm on a vacation right now. Oh, so you're from New Jersey,
but you're on vacation in Florida.
Who you on vacation with?
My wife and my son who are visiting my parents.
Fun, how old's your kid?
He is going to be 17 months.
Ah, you got a baby, good for you.
Rob, you got Gareth and I, then you've got Derek Waters,
the creator of drunk history and
Zach shield so you got a full
Boat you got four shooters with you. We're all here to help you. Yeah
So Rob, why don't you take over and get started and let us know what's going on today?
Sure, so when I wrote in I basically just said that I
Am a marketing
Manager and
Normal guy I love baseball played college baseball
But I kind of have this thing where I love Jurassic Park to like this like nth degree. That's kind of weird
So I have a lot of like all the collection items
I have like any of like all the collection items. Um, I have like any,
anything under the sun. I was actually an extra in the movie that you were in Jake.
Um, and shot in New Orleans for a little while.
I was awesome time. Um, and I also create dinosaur like,
remember really so like, well, there's a lot like I'd- So a lot of cooking dinosaurs. There's a lot.
Rob, there's a lot cooking.
There was also something with baseball too, right?
Yeah, at one point.
Yeah, there's a lot.
There's a lot with dinosaurs there.
I saw the movie when I was like four years old, I think,
when it came out in 1993.
If your issue has nothing to do with the movie,
I'm gonna die laughing.
If your issue is about what to do on this vacation.
I got food poisoning.
So, Rob, so let's start getting to where we're at on this vacation. I got food poisoning. Let's start getting to
where we're at on this. I think the lane is dinosaurs. I believe it is too but
baseball came. I know that's all I'm thinking about is baseball. Yeah he's got two
passions. Rob is that true that the baseball is just to let us know you're
not like a weird dinosaur guy? Yeah like I'm not a hundred percent just like focusing
Yankee fan, you know
Generally normal guy it's just a dinosaur thing
Reason I wrote it. Okay, but what he did say which is what most normal people say is I'm a normal guy
Burger I'll eat it anyway I'm a normal guy. I like the normal thing. Baseball, dinosaurs.
You hand me a cheeseburger, I'll eat it.
Anyway, I'm a normal guy. I like baseball, dinosaurs.
Now let me talk 15 straight minutes about dinosaurs.
The baseball seems like a weird, like a fake crowd.
Feels like you're faking us.
It feels like a first date where there's red flags.
That's how I got my wife.
Ah, that's how you got your wife.
I respect it.
She likes you as a baseball player, not a weird dinosaur guy.
I'll tell you what, there's not a lot of ladies who are like,
are you really into dinosaurs?
That's not a big panty-dropper.
You're not just trying to get me horny.
Yeah, I've been doing my...
I was also an actor in a dinosaur movie.
Oh my God.
Showing, badabada.
So, all right, Rob, now we're getting it. So the baseball, by the way, who
am I to judge? I drove here with no shirt on. Yep. That was revealed earlier. So I,
we get in it. You threw the baseball out a little bit. Like it's how I got my wife. I'm
not a true weirdo, but I'm getting weird with dinosaurs. Yes. Okay. Fair enough. So basically
my, my, what I wrote in is that I spend a lot of time 3D
modeling dinosaurs and collecting the figures and things like that. And I also sell them.
And my wife is- Rob, this isn't business. We keep adding new stuff. Is this about your business
of dinosaurs? That is a different game. Here's what we should do, Rob. Get every
dinosaur part of it out on the table now. You're kind of unfurling slowly like an onion peel and I also feel like you're keeping a secret
Just say the dinosaur secret you want to say yeah, honestly a 3d modeling dinosaur you banged a dinosaur. What's going on?
What is the weird dinosaur thing you don't want to mention?
Yes, so my wife has an issue with the amount of time that I spend we all do
Well, I know how she feels. I've known an issue with the amount of time that I spend doing this. We all do.
I know how she feels.
I've known you five minutes.
I have an issue with the amount of time that I spend doing this.
But Rob, I guarantee 30% of the audience are going to think we're being mean and you're
not talking enough about dinosaurs.
So keep going.
We respect your passion.
But I'm with Gareth on this one.
We respect your passion.
It feels like a lot of dinosaur stuff.
I want to go back to baseball.
That's what she said.
This is how my wife feels.
Yeah.
Understood.
Unfortunately, I think I might be with her.
To set the scene, we have a lot of imagery from McCall.
Oh, cool.
And where are we going to see it?
The back wall?
But before we see the imagery, before we see it in Head Attack, Rob, do you feel like this
has been fairly set up or is there anything else you want to say in your setup, in your
defense?
No, I mean I get why she has an issue but I'm just trying to make it not an issue.
Yeah, he says he's making money doing this. Yeah. Give us a number. You don't have to give us how
much you're making but if you guys need a hundred slices of pie to support your family,
how many slices are you making from dinosaurs?
I can probably 90 slices of pie.
Oh, so you're the dinosaurs are supporting the group.
Well, you're a marketer too.
But hold on, Rob, is that true?
Marketing is the main.
Oh, well then marketing is 90.
Marketing is the main thing that I do. Yeah, but dinosaurs they spent they pay for home improvement like that like vacation stuff like last year
I I don't know if you guys already and hold on as a marketing for a spa day for my wife Rob
Hold on if there's a hundred slices that pay for the group you said 90 were dinosaurs
Sounds like 70 is marketing.
Oh, we're just talking about that.
Yeah, sure. Yeah.
He's asking what percentage of your-
What percentage of the-
Life expenses, sure, yeah.
100% that marketing is doing the big heavy lifting.
Okay, so marketing's like 70%.
He thought you meant time spent.
Yeah. He's spending meant time spent. Yeah spending
Think and do everything so the majority of your money comes from marketing
But about 25 to 30 percent of it the aka fun stuff, which you put as 90 percent is dinosaurs
Yeah, okay, and then what is the specific question you have today?
Yeah. Okay.
And then what is the specific question you have today?
How do I get my wife to just be on board with the amount of time that I spend making dinosaurs
for people or just enjoying watching in the Jurassic Park every once in a while?
How much of your time do you spend with these dinosaurs?
Sure.
All right.
Do you want to go on a day by day?
Yes, yes, I do.
Sure.
Random Tuesday.
Let's just say like an hour and a half to two hours
of my day spent either, you know, talking to people
cause I'm trying to keep my business,
that side of my business afloat or just, you know,
reading up on news.
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on guys.
Let him say this.
So two hours a day talking to people about business
This is when jake shark tanks. I'm truly got to get these numbers. So do you work from?
Rob one second dinosaur stuff. Hold on rob. Do you work from home?
I do work from home. Yep. So you wake up at what time?
Uh 6 a.m. 6 a.m. You doing kids stuff and wife stuff from 6 to 7?
a.m. Or just from
Hey Rob, yeah, what time do you wake up in the morning?
6 a.m. So we're gonna go right there together. Are we mentally in the same spot? We're at 6 a.m.
What do you do from 6 a.m. To 7 a.m.? What category would you put that out?
I am helping I help my son get ready for his family stuff. Yeah, so perfect
So now we're at around 7 a.m. What are you doing from 7 to 8 a.m.?
7 to 8 a.m. Kind of throwing the internet then going back to baseball watching the Yankee highlights from the night before and then
then going back to baseball, watching the Yankee highlights from the night before.
And then, um, probably start going on discord and seeing the Jurassic Park group and seeing what news I miss.
Hold on, hold on, slow down.
There's a lot cooking.
So you wake up, you help the family six to seven before work, before anything
else, you're watching a little bit of Yankees highlights and then you're getting right into Jurassic World stuff online is this
true? You're talking to people in a group? Yeah. This is before work? Okay.
Before work. Okay. Okay so that hold on so I'm gonna put seven to eight and
Rob I'm just doing this because we don't have time to do the bullshit so seven to
eight I'm doing dinosaurs. Yeah let let's be honest. For sure.
Okay, when do you start work?
8 a.m.
Okay, so 8 a.m. when you're working. Now let's be honest, I'm not your boss.
I just want the truth. I'm your friend. You work from eight till when until lunch. When's your first break?
The first break is around 12.
12? Out of eight to 12? Any dinosaur stuff? Yeah, there's
a little bit. Okay. Refresh the group. Agreed. So, if there's... They still aren't back.
It's impossible. They still is extinct.
His kid's just on the floor naked covered in oatmeal.
No, the kid's gone.
So you got eight to twelve.
No, Rob, you're not gone. I'm with you here.
Don't listen to these haters.
We got eight to twelve.
My wife also works from home.
Your wife also works from home.
So in that four hours, be honest with me now.
What percentage is dinosaur?
Are we at a quarter of that or half of that?
I want the truth.
I'm gonna say, I'll say a quarter.
A quarter, okay.
So of that, one of those hours, we're saying dinosaur,
the rest is work, okay?
The rest is work.
You do lunch, is lunch dinosaur themed?
Brontosaurus egg lunch is
Yeah, I'd probably spend a little bit of time sculpting during lunch. Yep. Jesus Rob. Okay, so 12 to 1
Dinosaur eating and dinosaur then you get back to work at 1 is that right? Yep. That's correct. You go 1 to 5
I go 1 to 6 1 to 6. Are we saying a quarter? That's dinosaur
The shorthand is awesome. Yeah, I would maybe a little bit less
Okay, so we'll see an hour and a half of that is dinosaur you lose steam as the day goes on
Yeah, is it because you lose steam as the day goes on you get tired?
Or does work pick up?
Yeah, it's, work picks up.
Okay. Six o'clock work ends. First order of business, see the family. First order of the
business, play with dinosaurs.
First order of business is hang out with my son for sure.
Great. Have you tried to get your son into dinosaurs? Be honest.
A hundred percent. But also a lot of my family is very much, they know what I'm into.
So they all they buy him dinosaur toys and dinosaur books and like to be honest, I haven't
bought that much for him, that dinosaurs because my family.
So now we got to go back Rob, we got to go back to the 6 to 7 a.m.
Does the morning wake up routine have anything to do with dinosaurs?
My son will say roar roar
I think you're not gonna like what we pitch but we get to you
So after work it's dinosaur time and family time.
Yes, dinosaur and family time. Usually my son goes to sleep between seven and eight.
Okay.
So not as much dinosaur stuff there.
Agreed, but he'll get more as he gets older
unless the wife stops this.
Yeah.
Yeah, my wife and I eat at around eight o'clock
between seven, eight o'clock. between seven thirty and eight o'clock.
And then what happens?
That's the time where we're either sitting watching TV
or I take out my computer and I'm sculpting
or if I'm on my phone,
I'm looking at the news that I missed throughout the day.
Okay.
So that's your love time with your wife.
Rob, when was the first time
and what was the exact note when your wife
let you know, you got to give me more time? What was the exact note that she gave you?
You know what? It's kind of when I'm, let's just say like, I kind of give her a pre warning
like, Hey, tonight I have to...
Hold on. Derek has a question and
Derek hold on and then she'll look at hold on Rob
Rob Derek has implied a couple of times
Derek you guys get like busted looking at nudie magazines
Is there no no right we know
Is there anything that you're taking time at? Are you a pornasaurus?
Thank you.
Are you masturbating?
Are you offering your sexual time to dinosaurs?
Are you putting your sexual time to your wife or the dinosaurs?
No, that's all to my wife.
So there's nothing?
Okay.
We just wanted to get that out. No weird stuff going on. No, I don't know what's going on with it was okay
Okay, so I'm gonna look at some pictures. We're gonna but really quick before we do it. We're almost there
Six to eight goes family time kids goes to bed. What time do you go to sleep midnight?
Me sometimes I go to sleep to 3 a.m. Oh, so what time does your wife go to bed?
she goes to bed between
11 and 12 so you're what you're doing
Yeah, and so when she goes to bed, you're all dinosaurs. Yes
Yeah, 9 to 2 a.m. Is full-on dinosaur time. Yeah, Rob every day, but Rob most
I'm gonna start off with this you got a thing with dinosaurs in a real way, my guy.
I mean, definitely talking to four guys
who probably have had addictions at times.
This is gone from hobby.
Rob, you're in deep.
You're hooked.
You're under water.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is the aspiration in your life
to be full-time dinosaur business?
That's a good question.
Because if he's trying to do a start-up on the side,
he's doing his marketing job and he's thinking,
maybe I can do full-time with these dinosaurs
and fulfill my dream, then he's got a good hustle.
Rob, do you eventually want to take away marketing
and be a full-time dinosaur man?
I don't think I could make enough do it.
No, so it's just a hobby. I just with that thing. Absolutely. So Rob, when did it start getting real
weird for you with dinosaurs? Because there's a moment where we're all like
man I'm really into this and then you go like I'm weirding out. Because you know
you called in your question is how do we get your wife on board? Yeah. Rob.
It's a wild angle.
I'm worried we're not gonna be, let's try, obviously.
That's like the house on fire.
My question is, when is the TCBY open?
Yeah.
It's like, there's a house on fire.
I don't know.
It's a yogurt store, man, who cares?
I'm just trying to think of like,
if I was his wife and I'm on the couch
and we're watching a show,
and I look over and his laptop's open open he's looking at dinosaurs that after his ninth hour of dinosaurs
How many fucking dinosaurs you gotta look at?
Two hours a day is a lot of dinosaurs. Could you pin why you have this love for dinosaurs?
Could you pin it like as a child was there trauma that the dinosaurs healed?
Actually, yeah.
Ding ding ding ding ding ding.
Yeah, 100%.
Okay, what was it?
Yeah, I was, when I was younger, I got really sick.
I had to just, or had and kind of still have this thing called ITP.
It's like an autoimmune disease.
And when I would go to the hospital, I would have a toy dinosaur that was with me.
And yeah, this is beautiful.
I would've gone to bed while I was getting my treatments.
Now I know how we're gonna get to your wife.
Yes.
So Rob, do you wanna tell us a little bit
about the photos we're gonna see as Jesse puts them up?
Maybe let's throw them up
and we can kind of ask questions about what each one is.
Okay, the first one we're seeing
is you with a huge dinosaur.
I don't, it kinda looks like a half-model dinosaur.
You've got a funny expression on your face.
It's big, it's a big, it's big.
So now there's also the question.
You made that, that's impressive, Rob.
That is impressive.
Thank you, thank you.
It's also space, how big is your place Rob with your wife?
We live in like a townhouse type thing. It's like
2,200 square feet. Can we see the next picture? But it's a great looking dinosaur. Yeah, that's great.
These are legit. You're making legit stuff. You're an artist. Can we see the next one?
Wait, how big is that?
Okay, so this is an animatronic?
We're seeing a T-Rex standing up in your yard.
Yeah, Rob, tell us about the T-Rex that's outdoor, man.
What is that, three feet tall?
Oh, okay.
That is about, yeah, about three feet tall, about seven feet long.
That was actually a mold of the original T-Rex from Jurassic Park that they...
Hey, my man, can you make one of these as a gorilla?
I'll pay you real money for it, Jack.
Hey, Rob, Rob, ignore it. Ignore what Jake's talking about.
Hey, man, you want to lose this marketing gig?
By the way, realizing now that if this is a gorilla...
Hey, everybody get out of here.
Rob, I'm sorry for my tone before. I was wrong.
You make a fucking full zoo.
I'll give you a quarter of my money, Jack.
Rob, what do you charge for a full menagerie?
I'll go back on TV just to support you.
What's up? Keep looking?
Mad attack. She's attacking. Good job, Natalie.
Wow, Rob. Now we're looking at one you're holding.
It looks like you're a fisherman.
Yeah, we're picturing like little miniatures.
I thought you were a little geek in a basement.
I really was picturing really lame stuff.
Okay, this is cool. Wow.
These are awesome, Rob. Okay, so Rob is really good at this. Hey Rob, this is a business, Jack.
Oh, that's you in the movie. Yeah, that's beautiful too. I was in Louisiana for mine in a studio. Okay, this is really good. Yeah, these are great. Now. There's a dinosaur on a rock. Wait you got in a museum
Yeah, yeah, I have
In Central Jersey that they
Think I see all my work and they want to spectacular. All right, let's see another one. This is all changed a lot
The Jurassic Park case around it?
That's a great question.
On the back of your Wrangler?
On the back of your Wrangler?
I wish I had one.
Wow.
It's a very common thing.
Okay, so now, man, I'm glad, Jesse, you were right to show those photos.
Rob, this changes a lot.
So you're not just playing action figures in your basement.
You're an artist.
You make huge sculptures of dinosaurs. And your question is, how do I get my wife to accept the fact that my passion
is sculpting dinosaurs?
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
What's her issue with it?
Yeah.
The time it's the amount of time that I take fair because also not only is it
just the time, but you you know I spend time on the
Internet forums and stuff like that. Yeah, what people are interested in so that I can make them and then
This is available
We're gonna cut to the chase on this one. This is simple
Here a dinosaur. No
That's not it, Okay Start making gorillas. Yeah
Come to Pasadena I'm gonna make a good financial mistake
My wife and your wife and our kids can do whatever the fuck they want. We don't need in New Jersey
My man, I need a 90 foot silverback that I can lay in its arms
Can we can you build a silver back that Jake and you can live in Rob?
And here's the thing Rob, this check will just be all zeros with a one in front.
Tell me when to stop. You know what I mean?
I want a gorilla the size of California!
And I want it to fight all the bad guys.
Oh Jake, that got so sad.
And because I love Gareth.
He's going to fight our dads.
Yeah, I wanted to fight my dad and Zach's dad and say, start caring about the screenplays.
And because I love you, Gareth, I wanted to have curly hair.
Don't throw me a penis.
That was sweet of me.
I don't want your pence.
That was sweet of me.
The truth is you have a talent.
The truth is from your wife's point of view,
what are we calling her again?
Oh, Jackie.
Jackie.
I can also see from Jackie's point of view, Rob,
it's too much.
Yeah.
Zach, what are you thinking?
I just wonder if it's about making a space for yourself
outside of the home, you know?
A little man cave, an office, an apartment you rent,
and you do all your sculpting there.
We're not suggesting he gets an apartment where he says no.
Get an apartment, just fill it with dinosaurs.
By the way, Rob, don't listen to Zach.
Start to bring your kid there, tell your wife she's not allowed.
Getting divorced.
Maybe you can't come into your special apartment.
You buy another house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You buy another house. No.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You put a hospital bed.
You get a ponytail.
Maybe get a convertible.
And think about an earring in your left ear.
Get a new, get another wife.
It's called a new one.
I've been married twice, okay, Rob,
if you didn't know that.
Yeah.
That's not a joke.
James is laughing.
Well, it's clear, his pitch is,
get a new place and get out of there.
Get far away and do whatever you want.
Get all your hobbies that you love.
Run for your job. Be a dinosaur and become extinct.
The real suggestion is,
you clearly have a hard time,
and there's no judgment,
monitoring how much time you spend with the dinosaurs.
So if you can put it, some restraints,
oh, I only do dinosaurs in this location.
When I'm at home with my family, no dinosaurs.
I go to my special boy apartment that no ladies are allowed.
Oh my God, you just called it a special boy apartment.
And he was about to say no ladies are allowed,
so it is fully a tree house.
It is a 10 year old boy's tree house.
No, Rob, I'm not signing up for a special boy.
The boys are up here jacking off. I signing up for a special boy.
The boys are up here jacking off.
I don't want a special boy apartment with no girls allowed, where you play with dinosaurs.
This dinosaur has a vagina.
So I'm calling in because my wife has an issue with how much I'm playing with you.
Then fine, I'll create a special boys apartment.
Have a second house with dinosaurs and no girls allowed. No way. Does she know you're calling today? special boys apartment
No way, does she know you're calling today?
She doesn't know what I'm calling about but she's a fan of the show she knows what you're calling about me chat. Yeah. Oh, you knew? Did you hear through the door? Crazy. I got a question for you.
If you started making more money on these dinosaurs, do you think that would change
your opinion? Probably. I think so too. So a little bit. Look, look, business is business,
right? So I got a question for you for the three footer in the back, seven foot long,
what do you charge for that guy?
That I've sold one for four grand. Four grand and about when you put like hours in,
how long has that taken you?
Like for four grand worth of work?
Because I'm assuming, what is that?
You gotta first sculpt that out.
You gotta let that dry then you got to paint
I mean the were the craftsmanship you do and I say this because I've been in a lot of weird
Believe it or not, but I've been in a lot of weird junk shops and outdoor stuff looking for animals. Yeah
No, I mean honestly that's all over that's a call on its own all over great countries
I've been negotiating with a bunch of toothless assholes. Okay, so work
That's half as good what you were gonna say about Rob,
because you were asking about the hours he logged.
No, I wasn't.
I'm trying to get him to make me a gorilla.
Stop trying to get him to make you.
I'm trying to get a deal.
If there are zeros involved,
I think that'll also help my wife be okay with it.
How much do you make a year doing marketing?
You wanna live in my house?
I'll create a little boy's room.
No girls around. No girls around. It'll create a little boys room it'll be
a little boy zone actually my backyard shed no I built a boys room during the
pandemic and my wife and my daughter and my daughters my love going in won't go
in there because there's ants and spiders aka no girls allowed I can't
believe I built a boys room do you do jiu-jitsu
Can't believe I built a boys room
Just make him look tough make another Jake that he could fight within the garage no way We would both be hurt start kissing we both quit cuz our cardio is bad
So alright, so hold on.
Because here's what I'm kind of thinking, Rob.
Fucking, why don't you get on squarespace.com slash here to help.
That's our promo code.
And build a website of these and let's see if we can help blow up the business.
You're not the only dinosaur fan.
Hell, I was in the goddamn movie.
So I like him too.
A lot of people like him.
I can hook you up with Colin Trevorrow who directed it.
He might want to buy one.
He might give a deal to him.
You've got a beautiful look here.
Maybe we just slow down the dinosaur
and build up the artist.
It's all dinosaurs for him maybe. So our question to you, down the dinosaur and build up the artist.
It's all dinosaurs for him, maybe.
So our question to you, is it just, if we said like,
hey, would you ever, if somebody said,
would you sculpt my dog, would you be like,
yeah, I'll get into that.
Or if you're like, I don't have any art
if it ain't a dinosaur, where are you at?
Does your dog look like a dinosaur?
I have done, I have done other things before.
You have?
I'm two mainly dinosaurs.
I know you do, but you can do everything.
You could, can you do animatronic?
Can this, can you make this T-Rex?
No, I strictly live in the, I do 3D sculpting, so it's all like computer based.
And can these live outdoors?
It depends on the material that I use but some of them can
How much for a full-size gorilla that can live outdoors this I'm just asking for
Yeah, it is sort of but still it's very now this is I'm trying to think of a pitch but what would be a number
For with that level of detail a six-footer
350 pound gorilla. The kind of gorillas, it is a pitch.
The kind of gorilla that if you met in the jungle, watch out!
That's every gorilla.
Congo?
What are you talking about?
The kind of gorilla that if it hung with Robin Williams
in an Instagram video, Robin and the gorilla would connect.
You want a cocoa?
You want a home-based cocoa?
I wouldn't be mad at cocoa.
Okay, all right, Rob, answer his question and then we'll try to fix your problem because I think he's creating more holes in the dam
Probably like four four to six thousand depending on what it is
And then it probably ended up looking more like Congo something a little scarier get ready to make a family gorillas
That's all I got your email
We got to figure out shipping baby. Can you make one with a stomach that has ant traps in it so that Jake can put it in his
little boy shed and back?
I don't want it anymore, now I'm embarrassed.
So, Rob, what do you think about going in the direction that you're not a dinosaur geek,
you're an artist?
I'll tell you what, I think your wife's gonna like that.
The issue will still remain, that it's the amount of time
because we're talking about making,
like even if you're transitioning,
he has a job right now, full-time job.
So there is also the component
of how do you communicate to her.
But what do you think of that just like gut instinct
on something like that, Rob?
On just kind of moving into different sculpting.
Just leaning into it's, this isn't a dinosaur problem.
This is a supplemental job that I do where I'm a sculptor.
I feel like I'm just gonna relapse to be honest with you.
Okay, I appreciate the honesty.
Natatak, can you jump on for a second?
Hey. What's a female point of view here? What are we missing? Yeah, on for a second? Hey.
What's a female point of view here?
What are we missing?
Yeah, I have a point of view.
I know, you were gonna say afterwards,
we were all off on Sextant.
Yeah, afterwards she'd be like, that was sexy.
What she's been doing afterwards is when we're done,
she'll go, you missed it, you should have said that.
Yeah, oh nice.
And I felt like we were banging our heads
against the wall, so what do you think, Nat?
I'm so sorry.
Okay, so I think that if you don't,
if you're never gonna make enough money to make to do this full-time
Then you need to ease back and have better
balance between your full-time job this hobby and your family because you're trying to do too much and
Your family's getting the brunt of it. So you just have to you have to scale it
He's building a little boy cabinet and he's leaving the podcast. By the way, this is why you don't let girls in the little boys club
This is why you don't like that's a really smart answer. This is why we have no girls a lot on our little boys
Jake doesn't get his gorilla family and Zach can't have fun with the dinosaurs
family and Zach can't have fun with the dinosaurs in his yard. So I hope you're happy out there. Or commit. Commit and make it your full-time thing and really go after it.
So leave the family.
And just take the risk.
I agree.
Rob, when you hear both of those, because I actually think Nat Attack is dead right,
where's your head at? You want to lean in, you want to lean out, or you want to go a
third option, and that is we will pitch to try to, how to convince your wife that this is not,
because when we did the hours of your day, Rob,
I gotta be honest with you as a friend, man,
and this is from gorilla guy to dinosaur guy,
it's a lot of hours on dinosaurs, Jack.
That's too many.
It is.
It's really that moment in the evening
that you're supposed to spend with your wife
that's getting compromised. It's not only that for me.
We're six to seven in the morning.
Well, you stay up till three.
I know, but you're not sleeping.
No, that's the problem.
Four hours of sleep.
Four hours of sleep and then he gets up
and he's like, he's hanging out with a dinosaur child.
And then he's working on-
His first thing is roar.
Yeah, first thing is roar.
And what she's thinking is, brrrr.
The kid's name's Rar.
Yeah, and she's thinking like, man, this is bad now.
Imagine in five years, imagine in 10 years. So she's seeing the problem and she's thinking like, man, this is bad now imagine in five years imagine in ten years
So she's seen the problem and she's trying to stop it now Rob
You want should we pitch on how for you to pull back and schedule?
Should we pitch on how do you lean in or should we pitch on a new version?
And that is how do we convince this woman?
that
You got it all figured out?
His answer is gonna tell you everything.
That's what we need to know now.
We're going to the little boys cabin.
I think you need to scale back a little bit.
Okay, so Zach is alone in a little boys cabin right now.
Yeah, you're not gonna have two marriages behind you, Rob.
Way to go, Rob.
You wanna make the marriage work.
We offered you the keys to Hollywood, but you chose it.
So scaling back is the move, and that's what you want to do?
Yeah, for just so everybody's happy.
Because your call was-
So I can still get stuff done.
But Rob, your call was, how do I get my wife on board?
Well-
We judged pretty hard, but we did it as friends.
You're trying to maintain your dinosaur passion, but your wife feels a little iced out
because it does sound like you're the guy who's like,
it's like if you had a social media addiction,
you're constantly refreshing your phone.
You're always an arms reach away from the dinosaur.
Yes, I got a question for you, Rob.
Yeah.
Is your wife nearby?
No.
She's in the house that I'm in currently.
No Rob, that is nearby.
Could you ask her to come on the phone and can we talk to her for a little bit?
Okay. Yeah.
And Rob, are you comfortable if we tell her that we talked to you about the amount of hours and start getting a point of view from her about how many hours is enough?
Sure.
Is there anything you told us you don't want us to reveal?
Right now we're back in the little boys club.
No, I think she knows.
She knows pretty much everything.
All right.
Can you get her on the phone?
Yep.
Hold on one second.
Thanks, bud.
I'm also curious if they're in Florida for Universal Studios Jurassic Park ride.
I'm dead serious. I honestly, he's probably like, don't bring that up to her.
Oh, wait, that is down the street.
Oh, we're staying at Universalist.
Honey.
Thanks.
This conversation right now.
Hey, honey, will you be on the podcast?
It's about dinosaurs. Hello.
Hello.
Hi, how are you?
I am doing well.
How are you?
Good.
We're just talking about Rob and his dinosaurs.
We're just talking about baseball.
Rob's two passions.
We've really spent most of the time on baseball.
So can we get your name, please?
My name is Jackie.
Jackie?
So here's what we know, Jackie.
You're a great baseball player.
You're a great baseball player.
You're a great baseball player.
You're a great baseball player.
You're a great baseball player.
You're a great baseball player.
You're a great baseball player. You're a great baseball player. You're a great baseball player. You're a great baseball player. You're a great baseball player. baseball. So can we get your name please? My name is Jackie. Jackie? So here's what we know Jackie.
You got a great marriage, your husband loves you like crazy, loves the sun, everything's working,
you're down in Florida. Let me ask you a quick question. Derek, what did you want to ask really
fast? I just want to make sure, are you in Florida for the Universal Studios, Jurassic Park ride or just for vacation?
Just for vacation.
Okay, have you gone on the ride?
We would be here for that.
But have you gone on the ride?
Before, yeah, not this year.
Not this year, okay.
So I got a question for you.
If we look, when we looked at Rob's schedule,
I'm gonna just be honest with you now, Jackie.
We're looking at one, two, three, four, five and a half, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
We're looking at a 24 hour day.
He's got about nine and a half to 10 hours of thinking about dinosaurs.
That is shocking.
Jackie?
We're trying to help cut it down.
Yeah.
What's a number that you would be comfortable with with your husband?
Looking at websites of dinosaurs making dinosaur out emailing other people about dinosaurs
Living in the world of dinosaurs. You got a 24-hour thing. The guy's not fucking sleeping
No, don't think about the eight hours of sleep. How many hours a day are you comfortable with this man thinking about dinosaurs?
I mean, thinking about it, I'm pretty sure
it's more than 10 hours as a dream.
He goes to dreams.
His dreams are what he's excited for.
It's three hours of dreaming.
It's three hours of sleep where he's just like, oh shit.
All right, you're dead right.
We're not talking about thinking.
But he is actively on-liner making,
we're talking about 10 in a day.
Yeah.
Well, Jackie, what are your feelings about dinosaurs?
Yeah, what do you feel?
I never had any feelings about them
before we started dating.
And now?
Neither.
But now I'm, I like how he sounds,
something that makes him happy.
That's sweet.
Okay.
So.
Jackie's a winner. This is a very good relationship.
And you understand where his love of dinosaurs comes from.
Yeah, but who cares?
We're talking 10 hours out of 20.
Oh, we're not going deep on this.
Jackie gets it.
Jackie's a winner.
I'm gonna.
You can't get dinosaurs to eat your husband's lunch.
So Jackie, Zach, I'm gonna tell you what the guy
just talking wanted to pitch really fast.
He said, hold on a minute.
He said, maybe get an apartment away where you put all your dinosaurs and
have a sign that says no girls allowed. You wouldn't be allowed in the building Jackie.
He wanted to create a little boy shed. So his tone there, just disrespect. It's over.
We're good Jackie. I'm embarrassed. So Jackie, I'll sign the lease. I'll also let you know this he called and said how do
I get my wife on board with my dinosaur obsession after talking about it he said I think I've
gone a little bit too far maybe this call is he loves what he's got cooking at home
and he's like maybe we got to figure out how much dinosaur stuff is too much because he's
got an unregulated problem and there's some spillage going on.
And let me explain to you Jackie during this, there was a time where Jake was trying to get your husband to make him
an enormous gorilla, potentially a family of gorillas.
You say that in the past tense, Jackie.
Hold on, Jake.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Jake drove your shirtless.
We were going to maybe have your husband start a whole new business.
We've come back down to earth.
We're now living in the real world again.
Sometimes you got to go to space to remember what atmosphere we're in.
So, now we're back, and we're just trying to figure out
the best way to make this work.
I think we're all astounded at the amount of hours
he's living with the dinosaurs.
It seems like at night, he stays up late
to do his dinosaur stuff.
He does, till 3 a.m.
Which seems crazy, but if he can handle it,
he can handle it.
Yeah, but hold on, no.
You were so right, and then you ended with a weird but if he can handle it, he can handle it. Yeah, but hold on, no. You were so right, and then you ended with a weird, if he can handle it, he can handle
it.
I'm not going to be shamed by the gorilla guy tonight.
Look at your hair.
Look at you.
It used to be that.
It still is.
So, Jackie, 10 hours is too much.
How many hours is right?
I mean...
Be honest here, Jackie.
Whatever he wants to do before...
Jackie, stop! No, Jackie!
...you know, after I...
Jackie, hold on! But hold on!
How many hours in a day are you comfortable with Rob interacting with humans,
reading about, playing with dinosaurs?
Two hours?
That's a lot. Can I rephrase that? How many hours do you need with your husband? dinosaurs. Two hours.
How many hours do you need with your husband?
So I would love because we were with our son until he goes to bed at eight. So it's like it's nice to have like an hour or two hours together.
Then I go to sleep, but then he can, you know, yeah.
But then the problem is, he's never gonna sleep then
So I thought about getting it your own apartment where no boys
So you're saying two hours, and you don't care what he does while he's at work
Do you're saying two hours?
post
6 p.m. A night on dinosaurs, but when you're asleep who cares yeah when the cats away
Yeah, I think cat's away.
Yeah.
I think it's that time after the child is asleep,
before you go to bed at a reasonable hour
and he does his crack dinosaur evening,
I think it's that time when you wanna watch a show together,
he has to just be very present for that time.
How about this, no dinosaurs between 8 p.m. and 9.30?
Yes, I think after the kid goes to bed,
like dinosaurs is when when you're asleep
He can go dinosaur, but what do you think of that Jackie if we say from the second the kid goes to bed until you?
Go to bed no dinosaurs yes
That I I would be definitely good with because you would give us more focus time
So what he does in the morning you're fine
What he does during work is fine what you do when he goes to bed is fine.
When the baby falls asleep until you go,
I'm going tonight, kiss, I love you,
not one fucking dinosaur.
Yes.
Because I think we can close this deal, Jackie.
We can close this deal.
Zach and Derek, your thoughts on this.
Is this a deal we could close?
I think it's a deal you can...
I'm not asking you actually. Yes.
I'm also gonna throw out, it's also great if you found
something that you're like, this is something
I like to do by myself.
And that you both have independent space.
And then you can each get your own little apartment.
She's looking for time together.
No, I'm saying you still have time together, but yeah.
Okay, so Jackie, if we can close with,
if Rob will fully agree,
and not the bullshit, you know I'm on a podcast, but we're close with, if Rob will fully agree, and not the bullshit,
you know I'm on a podcast,
but we're gonna follow up with him.
And we're gonna follow up with him a lot
because I'm about to do business with him.
No!
I'm gonna follow him a lot
because he's been with the mouse for a while.
By the way, I'm gonna show him how to be present
when he's living in my garage.
He's gonna cost me a lot of money.
But I can't have him distracted with his dinosaur stuff.
It's all gorillas all the time.
By the way, we're saying the same thing.
We're the same thing. Drop the dinosaurs.
Focus on the silverback business.
You're the angel on one shoulder
trying to get him to be at home.
I'm the devil trying to get him into the gorilla game.
So.
Gorilla game.
There's a lot of money in gorillas, baby boy.
I don't believe there are.
There's not.
So, Jackie, if you're good,
if we can close with that afterwards,
when you guys are talking about this, are you going to say,
I'm really glad he called in that podcast. Our life and our home is better.
I hope so.
Because I'm looking for a, I'm looking for a follow up where we can ring the bell and we've all won here. And I think our audiences too.
We don't want this because this has been a long call to end it.
Nothing changed.
Yeah.
Because I'm looking for a real deal here with Rob and I'm about to get fucking hard on his ass.
Okay. Yep. We'll definitely report back.
Okay, can you throw Robbie back on the phone?
Absolutely.
Good talking to you guys.
Good talking to you, Jackie.
Hello?
Hey, Rob.
It's Jackie.
Thank you.
We have an offer to present to you, but there can't be any bullshit.
We did a lot of negotiating with Jackie.
We have something that I think we can close with, but it's got to be real and you got
to actually do it.
Okay?
Now we're saying this now as your lawyers.
I think this is the best deal that we can get.
Zach, go ahead.
No, I'm just saying there's some room to negotiate.
Zach, stop talking.
Okay.
Just, there was a little...
I'm just going to say every night of the week.
What was your thought of the POV there to interrupt and say that?
Yeah, but hold on Rob, I'm so sorry my man.
What was your thought there my man?
I just thought that he said lawyers and I thought, well if I'm advising him, maybe I could say just every
night of the week, we're going to tell him every night, maybe one...
But we didn't agree with that with her, yeah?
That's how you negotiate.
No, that's how you end up in a little boy's cabin.
Now we're going to skewer your wife.
We're going to rake her over the coals.
No, that's not what we're doing here.
Will she wear a dinosaur costume?
Rob, don't listen to me man.
The answer's right in front of us.
So Rob, here's our pitch to you.
Okay?
We're gonna go back to your daily schedule, yeah?
Six to seven, family with a little bit of dinosaur stuff.
Who cares?
Right?
Seven to eight?
Yep.
Dinosaurs.
Eight to 12.
Work one hour.
Dinosaurs.
12 to one lunch.
Dinosaurs.
One to six.
You said an hour and a half of that.
Dinosaurs.
Six to eight while your son's awake.
Mostly family.
You should know part of the negotiation with Nat Attack was zero dinosaurs,
but Jackie said, some dinosaurs in that is fine.
Yeah.
Some is fine.
Then, when your son goes to bed, until Jackie goes to bed, no dinosaurs.
When she goes to bed, dinosaurs until you go to bed.
And by the way, get a little more sleep, my guy.
But that's a different thing.
That's the next class.
Dinosaurs will look better with better sleep.
Yeah, but I don't think they could.
They look perfect.
Yeah.
Rob.
It's seen in his dreams.
Yeah.
But Rob, can we close right now on the second your son goes to bed until your wife goes
to bed and you're not allowed to rush her either.
Tired, honey?
Yeah.
More wine?
We don't have that.
You don't have to go.
You look exhausted.
You must be tired.
Yeah, you got to be straight up, Rob.
Look at these new sheets.
Oh, look at the head.
Why are you pushing my head into a pillow?
There you go.
Go to bed.
I need to play with dinosaurs.
Go to bed.
Dinosaur sheets.
Go to bed.
Go to bed. Go to bed. You've been on friends 830. Go to bed. I need to play with dinosaurs. Dinosaur sheets, dinosaur sheets. Go to bed. Go to bed.
Go to bed.
You've been on friends 830.
Go to bed, woman.
You're going to be exhausted.
You can't fake that she needs more sleep
or anything like that.
Here's what we're thinking.
From the moment that boy goes to bed
until that woman goes to bed, no dinosaurs.
The rest of your day is exactly the same.
Rob, this is a fucking deal.
You close on Zach. Don't say anything
So Rob
When you hear that deal now, we need the truth from you because I'm we're gonna follow up with you a lot
Is this a and when we follow up we're following up with Jackie too. Is this a deal you can close on?
Sorry, say again? Is this a deal that you're comfortable closing on?
And that is all the dinosaurs we've said from 6 a.m. until you're, here's what you're agreeing
to right now.
When your son goes to sleep until your wife goes to sleep, nothing dinosaur.
I can give it a shot.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is like negotiating with a country about a war.
We're either in war or we're not at war.
I guess I can give the peace treaty a shot.
You going to fire another missile or is the war over?
We're just saying when we're watching the show with Jackie,
you don't open the laptop and casually scroll.
Hey, Rob. There's no dinosaurs. This and casually scroll. There's, hey, Rob. Yep.
There's no dinosaurs.
That's a good deal, by the way, Rob.
They don't exist.
They don't exist until that woman goes to bed.
He doesn't, boys.
He doesn't.
Let's not attack him.
So, Rob.
They're real.
Yeah.
What do you think here, buddy?
Yeah, I say yes.
You say yes! So, I want you then to present it to your wife when we're done.
And that is, from the second our son goes to sleep, until you go to sleep,
there will be no dinosaurs.
If I slip up, please give me grace.
I'm figuring this out.
I don't know if you know this, but I have a little bit of an addiction to dinosaurs.
But those are off.
When you go to bed, I'll do the dinosaurs bit of an addiction to dinosaurs. But those are off.
When you go to bed, I'll do the dinosaurs.
And what Jackie said, she loves you like crazy.
She's happy with the arrangement.
She said she would be thrilled with that deal.
You're thrilled with that deal?
Yeah, I'm thrilled.
I can do that.
Hey, Rob, let's pop some champagne, baby!
You got this, Rob! We're closing!
We're closing!
There we go.
Keep us posted.
We'll follow up.
Yeah, keep us posted and be open to
what she might enjoy doing together with you.
And it's also, it's gonna take you a minute
to form some new neuro pathways in this world
of being fully present.
And also guys, let's get out of the car, yeah?
Because we just...
Can you put your son on the phone?
Put your son on the phone.
Also, you guys say we were going to our new deal.
It's a drastic problem. Zach sees what I'm saying.
All right.
I'm trying not to say fucking anything.
Zach, in final thoughts, what would you like Rob to do instead?
I thought we were getting off the call.
No, no.
I was...
Wait!
I think that you should try your hardest because there's a whole new horizon for you
out there with your wife, spending quality time away from dinosaurs, you might find an
obsession with her, a new thing.
Just open your arms.
Sculpting her.
Sculpting her.
Sculpting her had 50 times.
I am impressed with her though.
She might be into gorillas.
That's great.
I prefer a dinosaur.
So Rob, please follow up with us.
Also your work is beautiful, man.
Yeah, great work.
And please create a website for the work you do,
and we'll post it on the show. Your work is phenomenal. And if Jake emails you on the side,
do not respond, Rob. If Jake emails you on the side, respond. Do not respond. My closing
thoughts real quick is it's great to have a hobby. The only thing worse than having a hobby
is having nobody. So just try to remember that. There you go. My closing thing is it's great to
have a hobby. Thanks, buddy. No, thing is it's great to have a hobby.
Also if you're a hobby fan of Gorilla's, you'd be a better hobby than a stupid old dinosaur hobby.
Thank you Rob, hang up.
Rob, you have to hang up.
Thanks Rob.
Thank you Rob, have fun in Florida.
Hi, my name is Kevin. I'm calling from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Yes, Scranton, like name is Kevin.
I'm calling from Scranton, Pennsylvania.
Yes, Scranton, like from the office.
I just want to call in and voice my concern over the unapproved dispatch of Piggly and
Moe.
Last I checked, we're still a democracy, despite what's going on in this country, and a wise
man once said, many voices who sound loud will drown out the idiocies of the few. I think I speak for many others when I say
the sudden dispatch of Pigley and Moe is not only appalling,
but just downright wrong. I say we hold this to a vote to
enshrine Pigley and Moe into the show. And should they be
enshrined, their presence shall not be infringed upon. I love you both.
Thank you.
Okay, read your last intro on Monday.
What day is it?
Monday May 26th.
Today's Memorial Day, okay?
Pigly and Moe.
Yeah, it was bad.
It was bad the amount that you guys were using them.
I think it was just the number of times in a row we were
hearing Pagliamo was just excessive. Like, I don't know, we just we expected more. You guys can do
better than that. And Rhi also, Nonna, N-O-N-N-A spells no-na,
considering she's Italian.
So let's get it together, guys.
I genuinely love Pigly and Mo.
They make me laugh so hard.
Always, always do Pigly and Mo.
I don't care if I'm in the minority.
You guys rock.
Always do it.
Thank you. Hearing you guys address, always do it. Thank you.
Hearing you guys address Pigly and Moe is so satisfying.
I have a friend who listens to the show
and we'll just write each other complaining
about Pigly and Moe and how much we hate it.
And we keep listening.
And every time I'm listening and they come up,
I'm wondering how much longer can I keep doing this?
It made sense the one time when it was someone's mom who didn't know what podcasts were or
something and then suddenly you're suggesting that someone
should show a voice recording to their roommates and that will
make sense or something and they're not they're not that
funny. You guys are funny. They're not that funny. So yeah,
I'd say kill them, kill them off.
Thanks guys.
I love the show really.
Good morning, Jake, Gareth, Nat Attack and crew.
My name is Amanda.
I'm from Northern California and I have to tell you guys that yesterday I was minding
my own business and joining my Memorial day off, doing some yard work,
catching up on my pod because I was about an episode and a half behind.
I heard some disturbing news and I had to stop and immediately email because I heard that some listeners
are not happy with Pigly and Mo
and wish for less Pigly and Mo.
And I have to tell you right now, they are wrong.
And if that is their hot take,
they need to find a different podcast
because I love when Pigly and Mo come on.
And to be honest with you, my sister and I,
Christine from Illinois, we love Pigly and Mo to the point that if somebody is
having a problem in our lives, we will suggest that we heard on an episode we
make up our own Pigly and Mo. Anyways, do not ever let Pigly and Mo go.
We love them.
We always, you know, we never know when in life
we're gonna need a lawyer and a doctor.
And I love that we always have Pigly and Mo
ready to go at any turn.
So do not let the haters hate
and bring Pigly and Mo down.
Keep it up.
Love you guys.
This is Jason calling from deep river Connecticut.
Love the show, Jake and Gareth.
And to be honest, I love Pigly and Mo.
And here's why.
Pigly and Mo is a mirror to the world we've created.
We created a stupid world full of stupid people listening to stupid podcasts on which a bunch
of dipshits talk about things they know nothing about.
And that's exactly what Pigly and Moe is.
And it is so realistic.
And it is the perfect tactic to solve so many of your calls.
I would be very sad if you stopped using it.
Long live Piggly and Mo.
Hey guys, I don't necessarily hate Piggly and Mo.
I actually think they can work in certain situations.
But for me, it's that it doesn't stand up to any scrutiny.
The moment you look for that podcast,
or the moment you ask, oh, what podcast is that from? I wanna listen to it.
Well, then it falls apart.
I like the advice that can stand the test of time,
that can work long-term.
And so Pigly and Moe, while fun, just doesn't do that.
All right, love you guys.
Pigly and Moe idea, embrace the weird.
It's two guys who pretend to be a pig and his farm friend.
So they just talk back and forth like,
Hey there Moe, what's going on today?
Well, Pigly, I think maybe we should talk about
this article I read online recently.
Whoa, that sounds interesting.
read online recently. Oh, that sounds interesting. of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod
to see our entire catalog.
We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions,
executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter,
and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston,
editing, mix and master by Chris Fowler.
Themed song by Oliver Raleigh,
the cover artwork is by James Fostike,
animations by Andrew Strilecki,
and if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentoldes.com.
Remember all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes
only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.
All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes
will be available every Monday starting January 20th.
Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod.
Hi, I'm Rachel Billson.
And I'm Olivia Allen.
And we host the podcast.
Broad Ideas.
Yes, that's now on Headgum.
On our show, we chat with people like Brittany Snow, Lucy Hale, Kristin Bell, Margaret Cho,
Jake Johnson and so much more.
And we talk about all the things you would talk about with your best friend.
Like your periods.
And mental illness.
And the food you ate for lunch.
Most importantly.
Listen to Broad Ideas on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.