We're Here to Help - 178: Add a Zero & Boys Supporting Boys

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

First, the guys help a daredevil rebrand himself with his friend group. Then, who will Gabriel, who likes to golf and lives in Fullerton, choose to be his friend? It's the dating game follow-up to Ep 168 "An I Love You, Man Situation." Plus, a surprise appearance by Anna Konkle (Pen15).See caller images here!Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And we are back. I work with somebody here on the movie, her name is Rob and she goes by RK. And she came up yesterday, I was talking to somebody about the podcast. I'm doing a hard push here in Alaska when I meet people. They go, can I get a selfie? I go, absolutely. Have you heard we're here to help? But she goes, you know Gareth Reynolds?

And I go, yeah, she goes, oh my God, I love him. I had the biggest crush on him, da da da da. Let's just start with this, Natalie. Yeah, yeah, go for it. I had the biggest crush on him, and then she met you at a show. We're posting the photo. First of all, what are you doing

with your arm on her shoulder? Sometimes I see. What are you doing? You all of a sudden, Gareth, and I didn't even look at this until now really because she texted me late last night at a bar while we were going hard. You look like the lady in a photo

resting your arm and shoulder. resting her arms over your partner. How are you? Okay. First of all, I agree. That's Rokin, by the way. That's RK. Agreed. Conceited.

What I'm doing with my arm is not okay. Really weird stuff. But can we go down a little bit and just look at the pants situation? Why does it look like I just got caught jacking off in my office and then jumped up to take a picture? Also, why does it look like I just like got caught jacking off in my office and then jumped up to take a picture also why does it go inward why does it go in where penis should be and also go back up to the face my face let's just be honest not great either very red Nellie could we do this could we try to contact Robin? Yeah, I just texted her okay from what she said She was about 2017 maybe

She met you okay. You did that weird thing on her body during the photo Where it almost looks like you're gonna kidnap her It looks like I'm trying to shove her into the ground. Yeah, but your other arm is holding her. So your right arm is behind her. You know what it looks like? You're doing jiu-jitsu. Stop. It looks trappy. It looks trappy. It looks like... You like me?

Yeah, it looks like I'm trying to climb up her to get to the stairs or whatever's behind her. It looks like you're trying to climb up her to get to the stairs or whatever's behind her. It looks like you're trying to climb her, for sure. And then, you know, she was attracted to what the G-Man was throwing out. Not sure how. But I am. Great looking guy. In that picture, you think that that's okay, the way I'm put together there? I gotta say, I like this slightly rounder G man

He's nice and round. Yeah a little bit round. It's not heavy. Just a little softer edges It's kind of like no edges. It's kind of like when a camera is a little out of focus, but it gives me great I love I love how you think you're on the path to a compliment. It is Who like camera when a camera can't grab an image. Who wants all these hard edges? Get a little softness in life for fuck's sake. I'll show you a hard edge. Mr. What does that mean? Sorry, I didn't think you'd highlight it.

Anyway, go ahead. You said you'd show me a hard edge, you mean the hole in your pants where the penis should be? Could we please go down that way? Rob, can we please go down? Where's the hard edge? Did your butt eat it? I think it's the altoids in my pocket. Garrett, what's going on here? Where's the genital?

I've never seen this before. Not only do I, I don't know where the waist is. I don't know where the genital is. Let alone the genital, I don't know where the genital is. But it looks like your butt ate your penis. It does look like a wizard made my butt go in front. This looks like a butt, dude. It does.

It's very, it looks like an action figure. My king, you have a wedgie in the front and men don't get that. You have camel toe. I have a moose knuckle. This is after a show. You were on stage like this. Yeah.

Natalie, somehow your words hurt most. And yes. It is. What's nice about you, Gareth. Rob, it's starting to pixelate. So I think, Rob, you're not going to be able to get into the penis. But Gareth, what's nice about this is no matter what I say, I know the words don't hurt.

Natalie asks one question, and you get treated. Yeah, Natalie, you're out of line. Natalie, you're out of line. I'm saying, butt ain't you're dick. You're like zero bingo I'm agreeing. Yes, and yes and yes and After this moment where for anybody who just likes the audio doesn't want to go to the website or no pressure Instagram Who cares as a matter of fact? I'd recommend not yeah, I wouldn't look at that photo while eating No, do this when you're alone and you have a pillow to scream into.

And don't want to, yes. So, but the hug, the embrace, to me that screams, I like this. And she's an attractive lady, you're an attractive guy. You said to her there, she said like, really nice to meet you, this was so great, I'm such a fan. And you said like, DM me.

Oh, I did she then did and you never Responded hmm is that one of your moves? No, listen, I don't know this guy. I don't know this guy's moves because the movie is pulling physically I've never seen before so I don't I can't but no And then not respond because DM means like let's go hit me up you want to see my front butt let me take these pants off and see what a genital doesn't look like on planet earth want to see Martian crotch and in that in that moment she's going yes no no no Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob I know your instincts go back

Want to see the hole where I don't know I don't have an answer. I mean I am obviously Now it doesn't matter because I am with somebody but in 2017 Me I don't I don't know what he's thinking look at that you think I know what that guy's thinking But is an old-school move for the G man? And this is real cure. And the reason I can bring this up is it's old school. It's not you now. This was nearly a decade ago, McKin. There's a chance.

What's the DM mean not respond? I don't know. There was such a, I probably, you know, maybe in my head that night, I was like, we could go get a drink after and then I had to go to the hospital because of what's physically happening to me. Um, but, uh, but maybe that was my thinking, but again, I don't know. There would be some times where, you know, a DM would translate into hanging out.

Of course it would. But not always. I understand, I understand. And without further ado... That picture. You got to start Jake. I gotta get my shit together. No, you start. You're in a good role.

You're getting us in a good place. Hello. Hello. How are you? Good. How are you, man? Hey, how you doing? Hey, how's it going? Good. Okay, great.

Welcome to We're Here to Help. Can we get your name, your age, where you're calling from, and then I'm going to ask the question that's just been hitting homers for us today after that, but answer the first part. Okay. My name is Taylor. I'm 37. and the jazz square from? Mm-hmm. North Carolina. Okay, North Carolina. And Taylor, say, end of your life,

you're writing a memoir looking back on everything. What's the title of Taylor 37, North Carolina? What's the memoir going to be called? miscellaneous hose Thank you for the call my man It's weird that you asked me that i've just been thinking about what i'm gonna name my memoir Jake what is happening today? I don't know. Taylor, where are we at? What's the problem?

What a great title for a memoir. I've been thinking about it, and it's still called that. By the way, thank you to the Patreon community for coming out with that question. Yes, and Morgan. We would just be talking about, of course, Morgan, we would just be talking about gorillas. This is better. We are in a new zone. All right, of course, Morgan, we would just be talking about gorillas. This is better.

We are in a new zone. All right, so Taylor, writer of Miscellaneous Hoes, what do we got? Today the author of Miscellaneous Hoes joins. We're here to help. Go ahead, Taylor, what's going on, my man? Thank you. Thank you.

So I'm a member of a long-term friend group since high school. We're all in our late 30s now but over the years I've kind of accrued the stick of taking Stupid dares for small amounts of money Respect so pretty much you could do anything for for $20 especially

Trait I've definitely had a dance in that this was younger garroth for oh, yeah Oh, yeah, you could get Garrett to do Money more about the entertainment completely agree, but the money was very nice and it needed to be there for it to happen agreed That's right. Okay Taylor keep going. So I'm just looking You know, I've mentioned we're in our later 30s now and I don't quite recover from some of these, some of these dares like I used to particularly. But what brought it to my notice was a series of spicy food challenges. Okay.

And they're all unrelated, but each of them set me back a few days afterwards if you know what I mean. Yeah we understand. So basically I'm just looking for a way to kind of reinvent my reputation within a group of people that you know already have certain expectations. This is an interesting one. I don't want to lose my place in the group, if you know what I mean. You've got a thing. Right. Yeah, you're the wrestler.

Can I just, before we jump in, Spicy Foods you give us another, a little more of a sampling of some of these dares just so we get a little more of a sense of what your deal is? Yeah, so the recent ones, the food ones were pretty simple, just some spicy chicken and stuff like that, the hot chip challenge people were doing. But also, for $100, I drank an entire bottle of malt vinegar which went down alright but it didn't come back up quite as nice. Well that means it didn't go down. But the more physical one we were in Mexico they paid me $20 to let a random guy take a body shot off of me.

You got video my guy? Someone has. There might be video. There is. If you can get your hands on it, we would love it. Yeah, after the call, the first thing you got to do is definitely reach out to the group and see if that's available. Yeah, at a local public park where we would play disc golf, they dared me to go into the pond there

for the retreats and the lost disc. Where we knew were the snapping turtles and snakes and all that and families wandering around with the large half-naked man and families wandering around with a large half-naked man turning into the pond. Okay. Do you know the tins machines? They're like, send little pulses, like they do for like, sore muscles and stuff.

Oh yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, like the muscle recovery thing. They would put that on biceps. Yeah. Yeah. It was a chug of beer with that on my bicep and a chip of tooth. How did you chip a tooth like it spasms your your arm Okay, so the problem why don't you just bottom line the problem and then we can start talking

solution territory. Yeah. So just kind of maybe coming up with a new stick or reinventing my reputation within the friend group, but keeping in mind that I have a place to fill, if you follow. I do. I'll say my- I could supply some value. Well, here's my gut on that right off the bat.

You've got a very unique, legendary thing. Like Michael Jordan, not the baseball player, he was the basketball player. Sometimes you're just going to have one thing and that's a lot. So maybe we might not be able to say what Taylor's second chapter is, but maybe my gut jake is that we just kind of Derek Jeter Taylor. We kind of, well, we're going into retirement. We're 37, we've been doing this stuff.

But we're going into sports, the sports analogy. Yeah, but hold on, Taylor, do you wanna go into retirement? Because I think he was saying, I don't want him to come back if it's Jordan in a Wizards. Yeah. Because he- You know what? I'm a people pleaser. I don't like the role in the group.

He's having fun. He doesn't want to lose his role, but it's starting to wear and tear at him because you made a change. Gareth, you became a different guy. We don't do that with you anymore. No. Are you tricking me? This is how it works. Now I know why you're so paranoid. This is how it works. See, he's you're so paranoid. This is how it works. See, he's working right now. I let you change and I changed with you. We evolved together. Okay.

Well, what are you, so then Taylor, what would you like us to pitch on then? Yes. Well, there's, I mean, I was kind of thinking of two solutions that the problem is, they have their problems, but one is kind of thinking of two solutions that the problem is they have their problems but one is kind of just like up in my prices. Hmm. Love it. Okay.

So more worth my while. I mentioned it's not really, it wasn't initially about the money, but I feel like sometimes that'd be a good, that's a good way to get out of it. It's like, no, I'll do it for double that. They're like, no, I'm not paying that much. So it really selects what's important to them to see and not either that or this does kind of shift the reputation, but just pick up a new thing, like become like the so-and-so guy instead.

The old old but. See that's what I'm saying I don't think we can necessarily do Jake. I think I don't. Yeah. You know what I mean? Can I pitch on the first thing? Yes.

Taylor, you get a new catchphrase, add a zero. Add a zero and can I jump in with the rationale behind that which is that you went to a doctor who told you you've got to be careful when you're doing these ingesting activities. Yeah but you know matter what because even if it's not ingesting you go like this hey guys our economy's crazed. And you're 37. You go you got a new toll they go dude if you bang your head against the wall in between your forehead and the wall,

put a jalapeno, and then as it drips, lick it, I'll give you a hundred. You go, add a zero. I think, I'm not gonna lie, Taylor, it's a right out of the gate, but add a zero's pretty good. Because then they'll go, I'm not giving you a thousand bucks. And then you go, then I ain't banging a jalapeno on my forehead.

And it is very frustrating when you're on the other side and then you go, then I ain't banging a jalapeno on my forehead. And it is very frustrating when you're on the other side of that when you really want someone who has kept you satisfied with doing those things. But you know what you do? You find somebody else who's willing to do it. Or you step up. Or you step up. Yeah, a replacement might be a thing, but-

Yeah, but that's got to come naturally. I kind of like that of Zero're the ringleader in the group unfortunately has been fairly successful and he may not be that turned off by out of zero yeah you might be excited by that zero yeah that's what i'm saying it it's like it might select uh be more selective about them but i can still do one here and there. Let me ask you a question, Taylor. The Boswell one. Let me ask you a question.

What was the last one you did? The last thing was the disc golf retrieval. Okay, and walk us through that one again. He went into the pond. All right, so we're, there's a, okay, that's right, okay. It's a disc golf course, but it's an actual like a local park where families and all that.

It's not, you're not allowed to go in the water. And what did they pay you for that? That was 40 bucks. But I also recovered like 15 extra discs. But hold on. At a zero. So 40 bucks, at a zero. How do you feel about walking out to a pond for 400 bucks?

Excuse me, a lot more advertising. Okay, what was the one before the pond again? Let's see the order. That was the vinegar. Vinegar. And what did they pay you for the vinegar? One of the food. That was like, that was $100 at a zero

Would you have done it for a thousand I? Would have done it for a thousand. I don't think they would have paid the thousand but But then you all move on that's right now You're not saying I've changed and I've grown up and they go shut up You're going we've all changed mr. Money bucks. Hey Hey, Daddy Warbucks, you wanna see me drink vinegar? Add a zero. I honestly, Taylor, I really wish I'd had this advice. I mean, it would have gotten me out of a lot of things,

and then if something was going to happen, it becomes worth it. Gareth, will you tell the pilot story when we were shooting 22 together and the opening that they were trying to do for each of our characters? Hey! Okay.

And this is important for you to hear, Taylor. People are gonna go like, it's not about the guys, it's about the callers. Well, you're wrong. This is about Gareth. No, I'm learning. Because he is the caller. Okay, so in this pilot, we each had intros.

Jake's was to shoot a fire extinguisher while he was in an office chair. He shot a fire extinguisher in my face. And get fire extinguisher, just be covered in the fire extinguisher stuff, which is for fires, not for humans. And Jake- He pushed backwards, the chair had wheels,

and he pushed by stairs. If I fell down the stairs, hilarious. If not, fine. But I get blasted in the face by a fire extinguisher. And this was before Gareth and I were working it all. It was one of our first gigs. It was by the guys at Hot Shot. He's connected to Kimmel. He was connected to Comedy Central. It was a real look.

Yeah. And so Jake said no. Well, no. Then first say Gareth, what was yours? Well, you, but you, okay. You wanted to talk philosophy after? Because we were not together. No, no, we were separate. We were separated the way a little do. so everyone had to make their own calls. Okay, mine was I was going to jump out of the first story of this frat house, and I was supposed to look down the barrel of the camera, so look into the camera, and kind of make a crazy face.

They were gonna freeze frame on us halfway through our action, and then it was going to stop. So Jake, blasted by the fire extinguisher, stops before he hits the stairs, it says Jake's character's name, then he finishes and he heads to the stairs. Me, like a lunatic, a party animal,

jump out of the window before I hit the ground, looking into the camera, says my character's name, then I fall on the ground. So Jake said he's not going to do his. I said, you know what I actually said, at a zero. I said to the director, that sounds fun I'll do it after you. And he goes, I'm not getting sprayed by a fire, I was by those stairs, I'm the director. And I go, then neither am I. I like to play ball, Taylor. So I said, that's a can do. What will I be landing on?

And they said some couch cushions that were going. Now I don't wanna suggest that I was jumping off of a balcony onto the ground, but this is a fairly, this is a five, six foot jump to the ground. So I do one, I jump out of the window and hit the couch cushions, and they say you didn't look right into the camera. Well, as a human, I'm trying to think of my landing, but I've got to kind of beat that gut instinct to stay looking down the camera the whole time. I do it again, they say you didn't look down the camera properly.

I did it a third time, this time fully focused on looking down the camera. I land him properly and my pinky finger, that for those of you watching now will see, is still irregularly hunchbacked, snaps to a 90 degree angle and points out completely the wrong way. The director and I look at each other, we both basically scream, and I, out of instinct alone, take it and just snap it right back into place. And I never went, I was broken, and I never went to the doctor. And now I have 87 Oldsmobile now I have a 87 Oldsmobile I have a hunchbacked pinky finger that sort of detaches from my regular

What you now have is the NFL commentator Brian Baldinger I have a baldinger. I have a ball finger. You have a ball finger So Taylor to connect this to you when you see those examples We're not saying you're not a Gareth type because you are but we are saying if you say add a zero it might save your hand. You Jake it up. So yeah I have to consider that I can have a life altering deformist like a pinky like a hunchback pinky. The stinky pinky. I gotta make it worth it. So yeah are you gonna- But that pilot never got picked up, so that was pointless. Yeah, it never got picked up.

I'm sorry, Gareth. It's okay, it's fine. You deserve better. I got a cool story out of my hand. So Taylor, what are you gonna do? What have you taken from this call? How are you gonna imply in your life? And after Gareth, why would that finger

be called the stinky pinky? That question is not going to get answered. Taylor, are you going to... And I'll tell you why it grosses me out. The other four are closed. It's like it's sneaking in a different area. Yeah, it's a sneaky. So it sneaks in the butt is what you're saying?

You're disgusting. You are gross. Some people appreciate the curl. Taylor, ain't that the truth? Some people appreciate the curl. Ain't that the truth? Incredible. By the way, that's the name of Garrett's memoir.

By the way, we just want to point out again, we are joined with the author of Miscellaneous Hoes. And we are joined with the author of Miscellaneous Hose. Taylor. Hose by some time. Some people appreciate the curl, aka the stinky pinky story. Hello. But Taylor, what are you going to do here, cowboy? Well, I want to thank you guys. I appreciate the bonding that I've got to experience with Gareth. I didn't expect that.

But the ad to Zero, I mean, I think it's the most straightforward pitch. Like I said, I don't want to like fully abandon the premise, fully change, but I can become more selective and profit a little bit more when I decide to, when they decide to pony up. And Taylor, let me tell you this. They're going to push back because nobody likes a reinvention when it's benefiting them. It's very important that you hang in there.

Don't say add a zero and then not make them do it because then they see a little bit of crack, they see a little bit of daylight, you're never gonna get the zero added. Stick to your guns, make them add a zero. I think that's right. All right. All right, buddy. That's good advice. Keep us posted. Yeah, follow up with us, please. Definitely. Yeah, I'll look for the, um, well, the body shot video. Please, that'd be very helpful. I'm sure you'll regret it, but okay. I don't think you're right.

All right, Taylor. Thank you, bud. Thanks, bud. Thank you, guys. Good luck with the book. This episode is sponsored by Kachava. Kachava, Jake. Oh, a big fan of Kachava. Basically, it's a protein energizing drink that you can take with you anywhere.

There's a lot of times, I mean, I know both of us, when you're like working, you're out of your comfort zone, sometimes you need a quick boost of energy or protein. I'll tell you what, Gareth, I brought it with me to Alaska. I was enjoying the goji berries, the chia seeds. I felt very healthy. It was 25 grams of 100% plant-based protein. I like the chocolate, I like the vanilla. It was healthy and delicious.

I like the matcha and the coconut asahi. There's a lot of flavors, but like Jake said, 25 grams of protein, which is a lot. And like we said, the flavors are chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, or coconut, asahi. Two scoops, giving you a bunch of super foods, no artificial flavors, it's non-GMO, there's no soy, there's no animal products,

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That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com code here to help for 15% off. This episode of We're Here to Help is sponsored by the crisp, refreshing, angry orchard. Listen guys, there's a litany of things we shouldn't get angry about, but let's be honest, sometimes it's hard not to be. Don't get angry at Piggly and Moe and say that it makes no sense and nobody would fall for it.

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Need I say more? It's naturally refreshing, delicious, has the right amount of sweetness, it's the perfect drink if you're looking for something different. Angry Orchard has this bright crisp apple flavor It's like biting into a fresh apple, but this apple, you know, man makes you a little chattier So grab an angry orchard cider today. Don't get angry get orchard. Please drink responsibly All right, we're doing something a little different for this next call. I love it. So we're doing a follow-up with Gabriel.

This is the looking for a friend. Oh great. But what we're going to do is we're going to play a version of the dating game. Oh my god. So let's hold on. Let's do all this on air and you just explain everything. Yeah, that's what I'm doing right now. Okay, great.

So we've started. Yeah, yeah, what I'm doing right now. Okay, great. So we've started. Yeah, yeah, we've started. And we're in. We have four contestants that are auditioning to be friends with Gabriel. Great. So I think first round, we're gonna let Gabriel in first and you guys can kind of chat through and set this up. But first round, I think you go through each of the contestants and ask them a question

that each of them answers. And then the last round, we'll give them each 30 seconds to give their friendship pitch. This is fucking awesome. This is its own podcast. And then Gabriel will pick a buddy. All right, yeah, let's bring Gabriel in and let's do the catch up real quick and then we'll find him a friend. Here we go.

Okay, great. Hello. Hello. Gabriel. What's going on? A lot. Garry. Oh yeah, welcome back.

Thanks. How much do you know of what your follow up is, Gabriel? You know what, honestly, I did when I didn't hear back initially, I just thought, like, no one probably wrote in. So I was like, oh, okay, what? Hey, hey, Gabe, you did wrong. You did wrong. Oh, we got some people right then my king, Gabriel. So do you know, we have some potential friends. And we're going to kind of do a, you know, we're going to we're gonna kind of vet them to see, kick the tires a little bit on some of these pals.

And Jake and I will kind of run our points. But then, obviously you're gonna have to decide. But the goal here- We could all decide. Yeah. So Gabe, here's what we're doing, Big Daddy, we're playing the dating game. We're going to have four different people come on. We are going to ask them a couple of questions.

Then they're going to each do their pitch of why they should be your friend. Then they're going to sit in the waiting room. You're going to pick and we're going to hook you guys up on a little friend date. How does that sound? Nice. So you're going to do it like one by one. Yeah, one by one. And you're going to be with us and you're gonna do it like one by one? Yeah, one by one and you're gonna be with us and you're gonna hear too. Cool. All right. Yeah. Sweet. So let me ask you a quick

question, Gabe. Off the top of your jack, don't overthink it. What are some questions you would like to ask somebody about them and if this is how can we get a better sense of what you're looking for in a friend? Number one question would be? Um, I would say like what's uh like describe like your favorite uh we heard a help episode and you know just like get a sense like like their humor like what what they like what I thought was funny interesting and give me an idea of of uh like what their humor, like what they like, what they thought was funny, interesting. Kind of give me an idea of what their humor's like. There's no better way to figure out if you're going to have a good friendship with someone than to talk about our show. I mean, we've said that for a long time. Forever, forever.

Then number two, what's another question here? What's another cue that they can hay? I guess like their family, like their kid and if you know if their kid is around the same age it might make it better to uh easier to relate. Respect. Same life stage. Uh how about

number three? Um Golfing ability. And I know you're running out of big daddy but just keep shooting number three Yeah, golfing ability. It's like, you know, it'd be kind of annoying the golf of somebody who hits it like 30 yards to the right and Like in the end we're just like not giving up getting the pace of play. That would be kind of That would be a problem. I respect that question for you though out of 10. How would you rate yourself? What's your

PFF? I don't have an official but I'm like I'm like 95 to 100 as far as like out of 100. Oh so like strokes like no no no not really breaking. I'm saying out of Ten ten being you're the best player ten being your tiger. Whoever is the best now zero your dog shit Where do you rate yourself out of ten? I'm probably like a six okay, okay Okay, that's nice to know and number four, what could be the last question? Go deep inside there, Gabie.

What are we thinking? Deep inside. It can get a little goofy, it can get a little weird, but keep it real. What's something you're curious about? Ah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what? I don't, I mean, I don't know. Something's kicking around in between those ears, babe. What is it? Juice. I don't know something something's kicking around in between those years, babe. What is it? Yes, uh When you look in front of friend I don't know. I just gotta say like I just gotta say humor and Like golf what okay? I got some questions that might dig a little bit deeper too, Jake, so. Okay, we're good to go.

Yeah. Let's play the dating game. It's so good to see you. Tell me what it's like to be you. Okay, got one in. Oh, hello, caller, are you there? Hey, how's it going? Hey, how are you? We're going to actually call you contestant for this because as you know, today we're trying to find our man Gabriel, his new BFF. So can we get your

name please? Yeah, my name is Herschel. Herschel. Okay, Herschel. Why don't you start off and just tell us a little bit something about yourself. Yeah. You know, like Gabriel, I'm 35. I got a little girl who's about to turn two years old. And you know, I feel like me and Gabe could be besties. All right, Hershel. And Hershel, do you live in the area?

Yeah, I live in Yorba Linda, California. It's right next to Fullerton. I'm like 12 minutes from the Bridge Hills golf course. 12 minutes from the golf course. Sounding pretty good to me. Let's bring on contestant number two. Number two. This is our pairing.

Yeah, hi. I'll go first. My name is Matt. Matt? Okay. And Johnny. Matt and Johnny. Matt and Johnny, how old are you two?

So Matt, I am 42. Johnny, 51. Johnny, 51. Johnny, 51, okay. And tell us a little bit of something about yourself here, Matt. Yeah, so the thing that I was thinking of is that I'm right here in Fullerton and I have three kids and so I'm definitely in that stage of parenting and just kind of that world of, you know, the things that Gabriel described. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

Hilarious, Matt. Very fun. Johnny, can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Yeah, so I'm the older wiser friend. I've been there, done that. Respect. Are you aware? Do you have? So maybe we'll do this, Gareth.

I will run point and you will run commentary. Well, I'll say, Jake, right off the bat, Johnny's is a little weird. I'll keep pushing his forward, Gil, and you comment. A little strange. And I will steamroll us forward. Johnny, 51, do you have kids? Yes, I have an 11-year-old. And Matt and I actually have kids

that go to the same school together. Oh, wonderful. Hilarious. OK, let's bring on contestant number three. Number three. Hello. Hi, can we please get your name? Yeah, I'm Sam.

Sam. And can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Yeah, I just moved to Fullerton from Colorado. I've been married for about a year and it's been pretty awesome. I work from home, remote, like all the time. Okay. And then Sam. I'll tell you, that is absolutely hysterical.

And then Sam, really fast before we get into it. Do you and then do you have any kids? No kids. No kids. Oh, shot in the mask, Jake. None yet. And can we now bring in contestant number four? No more contestants, Jake. That's all of them. Remember we got a two for it. Let's get into the game.

Absolutely. Gillie, do you have any questions for Herschel, contestant number one? Well, Jake, I think it's very important. First of all, it's awesome to be outside again. Not about you, Gillie, let's fire Herschel. Of course not, of course not, of course not. This is not about me at all. But I will say to any of the runners up if they want to have a hang with old Gilley Bean

he's certainly looking at... Question number one. Absolutely. Thank you for pinning me in, my man. I needed it more than ever. Boy, I'll tell you we all need a friend like Jake, but I like he's about to say focus it up Gill and I'm about to. Herschel. Gil Buchanan here on the ones and twos. Just with a quick question here, let's say you were to win. You get in the winner's circle. You're buddies with Gabriel.

I wanna know what your ideal day of friendship would look like. We're meeting up at noon, we're wrapping it up at eight. Walk me through today's itinerary. Thanks, Gil. Good to be here, good to be competing again. Hilarious. Yeah, you know, we start off with a pre-round beer too, warm up a bit, you know, get the small talk out of the way, laser in, have a solid 18, maybe knock down one or two more drinks. Laser in have a solid 18 maybe knock down one or two more drinks

Say good shot boys supporting boys, you know wrap up around 4 4 30 Come back, you know fire up the grill maybe roast something up have the kids play together since they're both about two years old and You know wrap it up with some music, some good times and our wives asking us what we talked about and really just saying, you know, golf. That's a pretty great answer, Hershel. We're now going to go to Matt and Johnny. Can I point out his day is getting drunk playing golf, getting hammered, having

meats while your kids are there? I think this guy's a winner, no doubt about it. Go ahead, Jake, take it away, buddy. Matt and Johnny Same question to you too. Let's start with Matt Yeah, so I've mentioned so two two for one me and Johnny have consulted We're ready to offer our friendship and so round the golf round the golf in the morning Definitely getting outside just getting away having that break and I'm just getting away having that break. And with the two of us, I haven't consulted with Johnny yet, but after that round of golf,

I like to say that Johnny makes a mean old-fashioned. He's got a pool in his backyard. You know, meet back up with the family. Kids can swim in the pool. Dads can hang out on the edge of the pool. He's got the cocktails on lock and enjoy the afternoon that way. Jake I'll tell you you know what I like about this pitch it's the exact same as the first one but no but with a pool and another guy Johnny go ahead what are you thinking? Johnny fill us in details. That sounds spot on I think we can all of that can be accomplished definitely.

That sounds great. Johnny not a man of many words, Jake, which I love. We're not going to Sam number three from Fullerton just moved here from Colorado. What are you doing with Gabe? Yeah. I mean, all these dudes have the right idea. Pay drinking on a patio. Sounds awesome. Uh, I was, I don't know shit about golf though.

So, uh, would definitely be like going to drive, but I'm down for all sorts of other activities I like to make things in my spare time and definitely like sharing that time with other people playing games or whatever else and then hanging out with My wife and his wife, perhaps. I love it quick question Sam to follow up. You don't know shit about golf question mark I don't know shit about golf question mark I don't know anything about golf well this is a competition where we're looking for a golf but Jake I'll jump in Sam Jake he doesn't have to play golf but I would

say Sam in your pitch it might be nice for you to replace the main activity in the other pitches with something else because so far it's just patio time. But let me just can I also say this? Jump in, J.K.J. Two of the things we were looking for is a golf buddy with kids around the same age. And Sammy came in, don't know shit about golf. No kids. Well, that's why I'm saying swinging. He's got a he I very very likely he might be looking for

I don't know what he's looking for. He but probably has a pineapple on his doorstep But Sam, why don't you walk us through the eight hour window that we have open for a hang that doesn't involve just sitting on a patio Does involved making shit making shit. What are you talking about? What are you making Colorado Sammy talk to us? I'm a blacksmith. Like woodworking. Yeah. I don't think that my third time I have a nice garage workshop, you know, that kind of stuff. I just like learning new things all the time. So you know, in my pitch on that email I want to learn how to golf that'd be awesome. I love this. So maybe Gabriel teaches you how to golf and you make him a

sword or something like that that's kind of where we're at. Hell yeah. So at this point thank you contestants now we are going to ask you to mute and Gabe we're gonna ask you to unmute. Yeah Gabriel weigh in what are you liking what are you not liking? All right yeah my thoughts just like in general so far. About the way and what are you liking? What are you not liking? All right. Yeah My thoughts just like in general so far The people about what we're doing here pal focusing on the activity. Yeah Okay, so I yeah, now mute yourself. Mute Gabe, mute Gabe.

Gabriel at the end we will reveal that. Mute Gabe. It's called stakes, it's important. Gabe you are not talking again until the end my king. Let's go to question number two. Herschel, this is for you. Oh shoot. Herschel, we're going to use Sir Gilly.

What's another question for Herschel? And we're only gonna do three questions total. All right, Jake, why don't we? And then we're gonna get to the ending. Well, look, Jake, we've heard the pitch. They were all fairly similar. I think maybe it's time to dig a little bit deeper. Let's find something a little more emotional.

Herschel, this is quite a heavy question. When was the last time you ended a friendship and why? That is a heavy question. Let me cook here, Jake. Let's see what comes up. It feels like the train might absolutely fall off the old track skis. You imagine on a dating show Chuck Worley saying, have you been divorced? What happened?

I'd like to know that before I entered a relationship. We're talking way more about what kind of whoopee do you like to make? All right, then why don't we say this. As a friend, what is your best quality? Now we're back. And why did someone reject it and you had to eliminate them from your life? Now we're off the tracks. Go ahead.

What is your best quality as a friend? Hey man, you know, I'm a big believer in boys supporting boys or any iteration of that. Said that twice already and I've never heard it before in my life. It's like boys supporting boys. Ticky's pitching merch. Hershel's a big believer in boys supporting boys. Is that right Hershel?

And what does that mean to you? I just feel like, you know, I feel like you trash talk, you have a good time, but at the end of the day, we're just out there. How many times do you get a chance to hang out with a buddy for a few hours outside? And I feel like I'm a good guy to spend a day with and just feel better about how things are going. Now let me ask you a question, Herschel, because I'm loving the answer. I know our audience is too.

No, they're going nuts, Jake because I'm loving the answer. I know our audience is too. No, they're going nuts Jake. I'm looking at the polls online. Let me ask you a question. Please don't take offense by this. I'm just trying to get a better sense of Herschel the man, the myth, the legend. Do you have a lot of male friends? Yeah, pretty good dude. Just a lot of stereotypically a lot of sports video games. But, yeah, a lot of guy friends. We moved to Orange County like a year and a half ago. So a lot of our buddies are in Los Angeles. From where? Oh, from Los Angeles.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were up north for a bit, but we were in Los Angeles for many years. So most of our friends are in LA or San Diego. And so you're in a little bit of a shortage. You're in a little bit of a shortage in your new community. Is that correct? Greens need to be watered. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get some greens that are closer than an hour away.

Wouldn't that be nice? Herschel, let me ask you this. Hold on, Jake. I'm going to power through here. Now let's say Gabriel's lucky enough to end in the winner's circle. He brings you on board, you guys BFF pretty hard. Is Gabriel going to have access to your other friends? Is he going to be brought into the click as well? Well, I'm going to say, I mean, you know, we live, got some other buddies, so if Gabriel wants to open it up, right,

there's other people who get involved. If he wants to just be a little casual, swing around once or twice, you know, no pressure. Starting to sound like swinging again, Jake, go ahead. Let's get to number two, Matt and Johnny, same question. What makes you each individually a good friend to have? Yeah, so this is Matt. I would like to say that I'm just a, I'm a chill, down to earth personality. I don't know if Gabriel is similar, but I've been in social situations

where just people are really intense and kind of in your face and you know You almost get to that point where you have you feel like you need a break from hanging out with friends Just from the intensity. So definitely more that chilled down the earth Just hang out and hang out and be together. There's no pressure. So even like the golf situation, you know If Gabriel had to cancel there wouldn't be any pressure of like, Hey man, where you are, you need to be here. So just a, that understanding of that life. A chill guy.

And what do you think about you? What can you add as a friendship? Yeah. You know, I think I'm a good humor, a person that's always willing to lend a hand, someone in need. Someone can always use a hand, whether it's moving furniture or... Always glad to help out. That sounds wonderful. And now Sam, we're going to go to you. Our time mover, 51. Nobody needs that help. Go ahead.

Alright. Our question to you, Sam, and let's just have a one word answer. Do you like pizza? Yeah Let's just point out how what a turn of events Gabriel called the show looking for a friend and Immediately remove the stakes from one of the contestants by saying he wouldn't end up as his friend So Sam likes pizza good to know now for our final question This is a big big round. Gabe is going to ask the question. But Gabe is not going to eliminate anyone. Not going to eliminate anybody. Not going to do any questions about what you're feeling. Gabe, what would you like to ask Herschel?

So. What was your favorite? We're here to help episode. Like what did you think was particularly funny about it? By far the floor hockey ranking. Yeah, it's without a doubt. I was very invested and very happy that it ended up being a lot closer than I thought it was going to be.

So was I. Just competing in things that have zero stakes, I think is the reason I listened to the show. Perfect. Pretty great answer. Matt and Johnny, go ahead please. So definitely for me, the episode where the guy took the gummi edible and the kids were staring at him through the window. Definitely the one that I was just dying rolling in just that situation was absolutely insane. Yes, and Johnny, your answer please.

Hilarious. Yes, and Johnny your answer please. Hilarious Okay, so full disclosure Prior to the podcast with you on it I had never listened to it Matt's wife text us with a link to it and said this guy need the golf buddy Alright Johnny, it sounds like Sam's back in the running back from the dead Suddenly your answer, please and now you can use one more than one word because now you have a fighting chat Absolutely. What an offensive around for this game Jake not to dig myself any I couldn't I couldn't dig a bigger hole, but uh

My wife is just looking at you Alright My wife is just looking at you in the other room. I was like, do you like pizza? All right. Jake, Jake, what started off as a round I thought was going to be a full ego stroke has ended up hurting. So first of all, we want to thank the wives everywhere for listening to this show and making it what it is. And now I understand why Gareth curls his hair. And Jake, let me point out very quickly that if I was invited on a ship by the Way a joke none of these guys are gonna get they don't listen to the world We've built but if I was gonna call into a podcast and I was gonna be featured on it I'd probably listen to a few episodes and prepare myself to have some backstory and some history

No boys. We are not really Crucial part of the show. This is your final chance to convince our friend Gabe why it should be you. We are all at a clean slate right here. You have 30 seconds to say whatever you want. There will be a timer which I will hold on to. I will tell you we are a go and I will just say we Are done when we are done Please please I beg of you do not Continue it is 30 seconds. It is a hard 30 if you finish early

There will be no talking until the 30 seconds the floor is yours and we will be starting in reverse order with Sam. We've got a clock up there on the screen so Sam The floor is yours in three by the way Sam sometime you want to listen to the podcast does pretty well A lot of people like it go ahead Jake started to Millions of downloads one I was totally gonna listen to the podcast just FYI I just found out I was gonna be on this last night, but I'm a really cool hang. I'm really funny. I love my friends. I always gasp them up I have lots of friends with kids

I Don't want kids that much but they're pretty fun to hang out with every once in a while pretty fun to hang out with every once in a while. So I'm into lots of hobbies. I do lots of stuff. I love exploring California. Thank you so much, Sam. Now we're going to go to Matt. We are going to go to you in three, two, one.

Matt, take it away. All right. So in addition to golfing, I am an outdoor enthusiast, specifically fishing. And so I know here in Fullerton, a local area, we can do, in addition to golf trips, I got you on fishing trips. So out on boats, local areas. And then after we kind of have our own time,

just kind of away from the kids, getting those spots, I'm pretty good at teaching kids to fish too. So you want that, that sun, that experience of your kid catching your first fish. I know all the spots and create that memory with you and your son. Wonderful. And your timing was also spot on.

Hilarious. Mr. Johnny, the floor is yours in three, two, one, go. Okay. I would just say, Johnny, the floor is yours in three, two, one, go. Okay, I would just say, if you want to feel better about your golf game, Matt and I are your guys. We are not that good at golf, so. 30 seconds left. So no pressure there.

I don't know how good you are at golf. Matt and I, we got involved earlier this year. So again, we're fairly new to the golf game and trying to craft that game. We love, also love making homemade pizzas at home. So that's something that we can always go back and fire up the Oven to make some some delicious pizzas after we're out golfing Keep going With some good craft beer you throw that in there

And then wash that down if it gets crazy with I guess some old-fashions after that And I love pizza Ten seconds left. Let's go to Herschel. We started in three, two, one. Herschel, the floor is yours. Hey Gabe, you know, pretty easy going guy. It sounds like we're in similar places in our lives and we got families that could probably hang out together. Look close to the course, I'll never keep you waiting. And you know, practically I'm also a neurolog course so I'll never keep you waiting and you know practically I'm

also a neurologist so not a contact sport but if you're gonna get hit in the head you know which one of us is gonna make you feel safest. So I feel like we'd have a good time, be fun to play around and you know think about me. You want me to add more guys? I feel like it's a pretty, pretty succinct pitch, but you know, I, uh, I think, you know, making a story would be pretty cool. So I know Sam's kind of out of the running, but, uh, you know, he sounds like a pretty good dude just, uh, for, you you know what's for what okay and you know Johnny Matt homemade pizza sounds pretty good I can't uh I don't have an outdoor pizza oven so

Herschel pitching an orgy uh alright 8 seconds left you have 8 seconds wrap it up Herschel. Bring it to her land. Quick, final statement. I'll just try to... Final favorite. Uh, yeah. Alright, I don't know what's happening anymore. Time is a flat surface. Sam, you've got ten seconds to do a final pitch and go. Yeah. I realize I'm like pretty much out of the running,

but if you guys ever want to do a group hang, that would be awesome. Wonderful. Now let's go to Johnny really fast. Your favorite episode, make one up and what you liked about it. We're just trying to get a sense of your humor, Johnny, and go. Yeah, the one with the three-legged dog. That was very heartwarming. And what did you like about it? And what did you like about it? Just the what the dog had to overcome and how it found a family and it's just I don't

want to start crying right now. Well, it's a comedy show, Johnny. You're not anywhere in the neighborhood. Last but definitely not least, Johnny, what are our names, the hosts of this? Go ahead really fast. Without looking at the zoom screen. Okay, Jake and Gareth. Hey, pretty good.

Okay, so now we're gonna take a second. We need all of our contestants to please be quiet for a second, but don't mute yourself. Do we wanna put them in the waiting room, Jake? Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. We can put them in the waiting room. Go back in the waiting room. We appreciate you all coming out.

First of all, thank you guys so much. You've done a wonderful job. It's been hilarious. We would love for you to listen to the show. At some point, that would be awesome for everybody. Everybody wins when that happens. But you go in the waiting room and only one of you or two of you potentially will be brought back in

and they will be the one who is going to become Gabriel's new friend, even though a couple of you at the end there started pitching you all just get on a group thread. No! But we could also probably hook you guys all up in a group thread. I don't think that's part... Nope, let's stick to the premise. Might not be part of it, but guys thank you so much for joining and we will only be bringing back the winner. It's so good to see you. Tell me what it's like. Gabriel, you are now just on with Gareth and I. Yes. Yes.

Yeah, so um. Did you just do nitrous? What's going on over there Gabriel? What's that? Okay, go ahead. What were you going to say? Uh, yeah, you know, it's funny. I felt kind of bad because those guys I felt bad for the dude like

Or Sam cuz I was He was like sound sound really let down Well, you didn't cut him immediately Yeah, I did I did Some of these guys because I was like, uh, kind of, uh, Gabe. Yeah. Can I jump in? This is a game show and in a game show we need a winner.

So what we're looking for here is can you give us apart from your feelings about what was negative about each thing? Can you tell us which one contestant one, two or three, will you first eliminate and why? So, I would eliminate Sam because he has a no-shay about golf. No-shay, because he also did 20 minutes ago. But keep going Gabriel, I'm sorry. Yeah, because I did an appointment. Yeah, that's true. And yeah, pretty much that's the main reason. And I don't know anything about his interests, like black being a blacksmith and woodworking that

just sounds things that are I'm completely not interested in. So now let's do something that I just kind of had a memory from the dating game. And we will say 98% of the audience thought Sam would be voted off. Remember how they used to do that? Yes, that was Sam. 98% thought he was gone. Now, what's the second contestant you're getting rid of, Gaiman?

Can you please tell us why? So are Matt and Johnny are a pair? Correct. Yes, Matt and Johnny are a pair? Correct. Yes, Matt and Johnny are a pair. Yeah Matt and Johnny. Eliminating. Interesting. Can you tell us why? Well Johnny did it, know anything about the podcast, which is kind of like, and the age

gap kind of big They sound like night nice dudes But also like they sounded like Yeah, they sounded a little too nicey nice like oh don't worry, you know We won't pressure you and I don't know it kind of sound like a very Yeah, that kind of vibe. Okay, and feel the vibe. That's interesting. He also, Matt had three kids.

It was also a very different thing. I like what you're going. So that means, tell us who you are selecting and why. Born with Herschel. Herschel. What was it about Herschel for you, Gabriel? He seemed the most similar to where I'm at, like kind of stage of life. Like same kid, the same age.

Didn't like come on too strong with like, I don't know. I think Matt and Johnny came out like pretty hard with the, the backyard pizza oven and barbecue and all that. I'm like, okay, we're getting into, you know, other things. I'm like, let's kind of focus on golf a little bit. Okay. Gabriel, can I point out Jake, the Gabriel called the show for a friend and is it a whole no, I'm kind of with Gabriel, I think. What I'm liking, and I was afraid you weren't gonna do,

Gabe, but I'm seeing, you got some boundaries, my king. This makes a good friend. You know what you're looking for. And I will say, Jake, much like Love Connection, what they would do is if it didn't work out, they would invite them back to try the second option. So if it doesn't work out with Herschel Gabriel I think what we can do is invite Matt and Johnny Sam back on and we could just do one last round where we could restart the

friendship but I'll tell you I got a good feeling about Herschel. Me too. So then here's what we're gonna say. What would you like to do on this friendship hang with Herschel? 18 holes? Yeah. When would you ideally like to do it? Ideally, I mean, I'm pretty open. I usually go on like a Fridays or a Sunday. Friday or Sunday and you're pretty open. So sometime in June

Yeah, so here's what we're gonna do we're gonna bring Herschel back in and I would love if you're comfortable with it You telling him you would love to play golf with him. We can now take away terms like winner Because now we just are hanging with a friend and you could you say, hey man, what's up bud? And you guys start your little vibe and then go, hey, I'm free mostly Fridays and Sundays, you wanna get 18 in? And then we will connect you guys via email. But what I would love to have happen

is now we fade away a little bit and you guys start chumming it up. And then at a certain point, Gareth and I would say, all right, fellows, we're gonna take off. We will hook you guys up via email. Great. Gabriel, are you comfortable with that?

Yeah, sounds good. Feeling good, Gabriel? You got a buddy. So remember, Gabriel, you're gonna be doing the talking as soon as we bring him in. Okay, sounds good. Okay. Guys, can we bring in Herschel? Here comeserschel and can you tell him when he's in?

Yep. All right, I'm letting him in. Okay. He is in. Hey, what's up Herschel? Hey. Hey, what's up man Hey, hey, hey, hey, doing good. Hey, I love to do around a golf sometime like I'm mostly available like Friday, Sunday afternoon.

So if you want to set up a time, love to let's do it. I'd love to and excited we get to play. Yeah, sounds good. I guess we'll just like get your contact info from the guys and then yeah, we'll just set something up like this. Hopefully we can do it in June. Yeah, no, that'd be perfect. Let me send my info and then hopefully the show can give me your details and yeah, I'll text you, man. Let's set it up. Hey man, thanks guys for bringing us together. Yeah, thank you guys.

And maybe what we would love to do is follow up with each of you guys individually after, if that's cool. Yeah, definitely. Make sure the day's cool. Yeah, like naturally. Make sure the date went well. Yeah, we'll just do the same thing the show does where we kind of follow up with each person. And we hope you guys have a lot of fun. Thank you guys for participating.

This has been great. And we can't wait to hear how the hang goes. Not a date, more of a hang. Awesome, man. Hey, appreciate you guys. All right, go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. to the producer of the show. You guys, Sam is so sad. Is he? Yeah, he emailed and said, I'm so sorry if I bombed. I think he does have no friends. No, no, please email back and say, like, it was perfect. Maybe we should have him back on. Bring Sam back on. Bring Sam back in.

Yeah, bring Sam back. Right now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We were on a boat last night. Uh-huh. Seeing orcas. It was really cool. Having glacier water. Having glacier water. Anna, did the

alcohol get on top of us a little bit? On to me, yeah. For sure. You're fine. You woke up at eight. He wasn't happy about it though, Anna. Really? He's different now than he was when we started. So you probably know Anna from Pen 15. Which is fantastic. Oh, thank you. That's so... Everyone should watch that. Could you tell our audience a little bit about the origin of that show, the making of it?

Absolutely. What you learned, what you love, and where you at, girl. Oh, wow. That's a lot. Let's see. Well, you know, Pen 15 partly came from having auditioned for commercials throughout, like starting as a kid, not booking one thing until age 18. But in the middle of that, the casting director was like, okay, so you're 13 now and we won't see you for three years

because no one wants to see that on TV. And I was like, really taken aback by that, that I'm just so awkward that I'm not allowed to be on screen, even though I wasn't before that either. But you know what I mean, hypothetically. And then Maya and I became close friends in college and wanted to make something about rejects. And that felt like, yeah, a trove of untapped rejects,

sad, hopeful, traumatic, funny stories. And there were so many like sexual stories that we couldn't tell at that age and failing. And so we were like, okay, we'll get fingered. This is fine, we'll tell. So we're gonna catch up with what's happening. Gareth, will you explain to Anna really quickly where we're at?

We just did a dating game with a guy named Gabriel. We had three contestants. One was a two friend contestant because Gabriel moved to a new city. He's looking for a golfing partner. The guy he rejected immediately was this guy named Sam who feels like he bombed on the show. This just happened.

So now we've invited Sam to come back on the show for a quick follow-up so that we make him feel a little bit better about the fact that he was eliminated very quickly by Gabriel, who became drunk with friend power, and we found out Sam likes pizza and is a blacksmith. He's in the waiting room and he's about to come in. Sammy boy! Yo.

So we got word from Natalie that you felt a little bit bad post call that you maybe felt like you bombed. Is that correct Sam? Can you take it away and explain where you're at here pal? I just you know I just didn't feel like I got to put myself out there the way I wanted to but But I don't think I bombed. But I definitely wasn't out choice, you know? Yeah, and I think the truth is he wanted a golfing buddy and someone with kids he didn't have either. But you know, I think.

But we got something really special. We got something really special for you. We brought in the actor Anna Konkle from Penn 15 and a lot of other stuff. She's heard, she's heard about what happened with the call and she's got a few things she wants to say to you. Anna, go ahead. Oh, well, I just want to say, I mean, it sounds like you feel good about what happened

and that is positive and I could learn from you because sometimes when I have a moment of embarrassment or insecurity, I can spiral, you know? And you aren't, so kudos. Oh, yeah. And I think what we should do, Jake, is we should just say, look, we're not going to become friend Tinder. But if anyone who's listening to this wants to get involved in blacksmithing, likes pizza,

or wants to talk about Colorado, email the show, and maybe we could set you up with Sam. Yeah, but also last but not least, Sam, is there anything else you would like to say, and we will get this to Gabriel too, because Gareth pointed it out, but at the end of the dating game, if the first date doesn't work out, there's always a second chance.

So you said that you didn't get to fully sell yourself. So sir, can we put a timer up for 90 seconds? It's a long, just so you know, 90 seconds talking is the field of thought. I know it is. Okay. Sam, when you're ready, say whatever the hell you want. We won't edit anything out of this.

You got 90 seconds, the floor is yours. We will not interrupt. No, we won't edit anything out of this. You got 90 seconds. The floor is yours. We will not interrupt. No, it isn't. Sam, do you think it's a punishment? Oh yeah. I mean, I love the pressure. That's what I'm saying.

Sam emailed in because he's like, I didn't get my fair shot. So fuck the 30 seconds. He got cut too early, which I also don't think is fair to Sam. Sam in three, two, one. I mean, when I initially emailed into the show, I was like, I was pretty clear. Like I knew the guy didn't want to, I wanted a golf buddy and wanted to hang out with other dads and stuff like that. But I put in my email that I would like, I don't have a kid, but I hang out with lots of people with kids. I don't play golf, but I would love to do the driving range. You know, like, I feel like the...

When you make friends, isn't necessarily doing the thing you love, but just doing something together for a little while to get to know each other. And I think that, you know, when people get to know me, they tend to like me. And I look forward to hanging out with Gabriel potentially. But that's all I wanted to say and I do love your guys' show. I haven't listened to it a lot. I know who both of you are though and look forward to listening to it in the future. And that's pretty much all I got.

And the dead air is awkward. Yeah, that's it. I guess I didn't need a whole 90 seconds. Thank you. Okay, maybe this was the punishment. All right. All right, there we are. The 90 second.

Sam, I- What an ending to that 90. Oh, Sam. It was ending to that 92nd. Sam? It was wonderful. You crushed it. I will say I think I mismanaged the time for you. I put you in a bad spot. It should have been about 55 seconds.

I do think you painted yourself in a nice picture. How do you feel about that? Where are you at? How are you feeling about the five? Honestly, I feel good. And I was like slightly embarrassed about the call, but I don't think I'm on that bed. Why were you embarrassed, Sam?

It was really, it's a comedy show and you were so funny. You didn't bomb. You added so much comedy for us. I don't think you're like, I didn't mean to like, I didn't mean to get pity or anything like that. No, no. You're not. But I'll tell you what, you're giving us more

and we're loving it. So here's what's funny about, let's get to the bottom of this now. Here's what's funny about the call, Sam, is that Gabriel called our show looking for a pal, had three options, and because you didn't golf right away, he's like, man. So funny. That's what we were, that's what we found funny. And also, if we didn't have you and we didn't have like the be able to go to a one word question It wouldn't have been as much fun. We need we didn't know we needed you. But once we had you it was just you were golden It was good comedy and and why don't we say this if you have any? Anna's got something really fast and then we're gonna go to that. No, I was just wondering have you talked about Gabe is that the golfer? Yeah that Gabe wasn't interested in like

Being with more of a novice. I mean, that's interesting. He might be, yeah. What do you mean? No, we don't know. He passed. I know, but he passed because Sam at the beginning said, I don't know shit about golf. And then he said, I want to do things like blacksmith.

Okay. Well, they could teach you. I know, but that's what we're getting from Sam. But the tone felt like, I don't know, I'm not interested in golf, but we can do weird stuff in my garage. Is that fair, Sam? Oh, I did not mean to do that. I might have read that wrong. I don't think he did that.

He didn't do that? No, no. I heard that. I heard that. No. Okay, so Rob's heard that, Natalie. Natalie, what did you hear? He said, you can teach me golf. He did. He was quite clear. That came later, though. It was first weird stuff in the garage. teach me golf. He did, he was quite clear. That came later though.

It was first weird stuff in the garage. Well, sure, he was still with Gabriel. Sam, you know what's great about you? You're the controversial figure of our Dating Friend game. So, Sam, we wanna say thank you for calling in. Thank you for doing the email and following up. All right, thanks Jake and Gareth and Natalie. That's awesome. And Anna Conkle. And and following up. All right. Thanks Jake and Garrett and Natalie. That's awesome.

And Anna Konkle. And Anna Konkle. And Anna. All the best to you, buddy. Bye, buddy. Thank you. Bye. Does something smell bad in here?

Is it my fucking chocolate candle that you hate? Chocolate candle? No, I was just making like a finger mustache, but... I bought a candle. Yeah, your candle's disgusting. And Anna thinks it smells terrible. It's chocolate Jake are you on a diet? Is it coming out in strange ways? I Honestly like I did something that I didn't think we made his candle

But she thought it was weird where I bought it without reading what the smell was but that is insane That's great serial killer I thought it was weird where I bought it without reading what the smell was. That is insane. Sociopathic. That's crazy. Serial killer. Yeah, there's a whole... I just saw it, grabbed it, and I got some incense and said, I'll take those too. Did you see what kind of incense you got? No.

No, you just bought whatever. It's not great. No, it's interesting that anything aside from your smells is better. It's interesting. Again. That's a take. That's a take. That's a good read.

Yeah, very good. I don't care what it is. It's gotta be better than what this is cooking up. Yeah, anything. Oh look, candles. I'll have one. Like we're in Soviet Russia. You gotta go.

Yeah, Kathy. Bye. Good to see you. And then text me. I might show up Nice to meet you. I mean what we do is another friend dating game with Sam. I like that Great idea. Yeah black Smithers in the Fullerton area Just get their own episode That kind of sucked for me and like all right

Look, we're looking for anyone who's a black smith or likes to shop for shoes online. All right, so then call to action. If you like to do hobbies outside of golf in the Fullerton area, if you don't have kids, but you can have kids, if you like pizza, if blacksmith is interesting, or if you want to golf, you just want to go to like a driving range

But you would kind of describe yourself as you don't know shit about it You're just a cool Colorado vibe person. Yes, but if you recently moved to the area and you're looking for friends We don't want two and one we don't want well, maybe I know what's his name doesn't but maybe Sam does maybe gave her but this is a call out to anybody there. Publicly enjoys from Natalie, just say it please. These are Sam's hobbies that he first emailed in. Publicly enjoys camping, hunting, blacksmithing, dive bars with jukeboxes, woodworking, movies, learning new things, buying expensive stuff to my wife's dismay to support learning new things, etc. Pretty great. So if anybody is interested in that in the Fullerton area, please email the show and we will be hosting another dating game very soon.

Here we go again. And I have a new podcast that's out now called Next We Have, Jake, which it's a head gum show so it's right on the network. It's in the family. And if people could go subscribe, listen to that. It's very strange and it's a bunch of little segments, but it's fun. There's minor problem solving. There's a lot of games.

There's guests. It's just totally insane. there's a lot of games, there's guests, it's just totally insane, so go listen to that for me. Next we have. ["We're Here to Help"] We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at HelpfulPod at gmail.com

and if you wanna watch video episodes of We're Here to Help help you can go to our patreon at patreon.com Slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're here to help is produced by rabbit grim productions executive producers Rob Hollis Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing mix and master by Chris Faller theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike. Animations by Andrew Strilecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand Up on the Road, go to garethrenolds.com. Remember all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only,

and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes And a bo about murder. But more importantly, it's also about two women becoming very good friends in their 40s. Which can really happen, and it has happened to us. It's true. Because life has imitated ours. And then it imitated life. Time is a flat circle.

And now. We're making a podcast that's about making friends. And we're inviting incredible guests like Vanessa Barrett. Wow, I have so much to say. Lisa Kudrow. Feelings. They're a nuisance. Nick Kroll.

I just wanted to say hi. Matt Rogers. I'm like on the verge of tears. So good. So good to join us and hopefully become our friends in real life. Take it out of the podcast studio and into real life. Along the way, we are also going to talk about dating.

Yep. Spousing. True. Parenting. Career-ing. Yeah. And why we love film and Louisa is the greatest

movie of all time. Shouldn't need to be said. No, we said it. It's just a true thing. So please subscribe to Here to Make Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts and watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Friday.