We're Here to Help - 180: Hotdog Party & Backdoor Boys

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

Gareth and Jake help a hospital worker find her doppelganger. Then, a solution to a hairy problem leaves Gareth in an uncomfortable position. Plus, a follow up from Ep 90 "Hunk With a Little Chunk."Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And we are back. Cool tattoos boy are we well thanks what are the tats what's left arm? This one is from golden compass wow fantasy book big nerd it's a compass and what's on top of that a kangaroo? Yeah yep oh it's a mouse oh what's on top of that a kangaroo? Yeah, yep. Oh, it's a mouse. Oh, it's a mouse cool. No tattoos Jake me No, you know a tattoo. I almost got at 15 and I am so happy. I don't have I think I've told you this Gareth I don't know Based off my love of my mother Eve and the book she used to reach me the giving tree

Ah, I was good the best but I going to get a tree stump on my ankle. And then when I was married, I was going to get my initials plus hers. And then when we had kids, I was going to have roots going down into my feet. And I thought like this was planned at 15. Hmm. It's a deer-ing. Cee-lee-ing caught. It's a deer-ing. I find it a deer-ing. Does it change anything that I'm wearing American flag shorts? Yeah, you're a trash pile. But wait, so you never got it.

So 15 was a big transitionary year for the old Jake-ster. Whoa. That was the year I dropped out of school. There was a lot cooking. In that year, I just didn't do it that year. Sure. Whoa. That was the year I dropped out of school. There was a lot cooking. Yeah. And in that year, I just didn't do it that year. And then when I went back to school, I didn't do it. And then a couple of years, like I kept thinking I was gonna and then I hit like 17 and I thought,

oh my God, I almost had a tree stump on my foot with like roots going in. Who's going to give you a tattoo at 15? This is going to be like someone's house? 1990s Chicago would have been fine. Yeah. Back when tattoos were very different and it was like tattoos were scary. Yeah, you could have gotten them pretty easily then. That giving treatment looked like shit too. It was going to look terrible. Did you tell your mom that you were thinking about this? Did you tell your mom that you were thinking about this? I don't know if I told Eve this. She wouldn't have been into it. She doesn't like tattoos. It's wild. It's a wild move.

Perhaps mom hates tattoos. She almost cried when I came home with my half sleeve. How many tattoos do you have, Ro? A lot. Yeah, and mom almost... He's got one his mom, and she still doesn't like it. Yeah, it's pandering. Well, I mean, she hates him. So it's a little bittersweet of a gift. It's like giving an alcoholic Johnny Walker Blue.

It's really for when she dies. Oh my god. I will say, guys, I will say, Rob, you sounded like me there. It's just too much. I hear you when I say that kind of stuff. It's shocking when you hear it. Yeah. No, I love her a lot, but it's more when she's just a meat sack in the ground for me to say, you know, thanks a lot. My mother's sending power of attorney emails right now And I'm like, can we just not?

Yeah. Is she really? Yeah. How's mom doing? She's good. But, you know, we're all that's nothing compared to my dad. My dad's been working on his will for eight years. Yeah. And he doesn't have that much stuff. And he's always like, I've updated it. I'm like, I don't. I'm like, did you have like two file cabinets? And what are you talking about?

The guy who keeps working on the will on everyone's like like it's fine Like a car in his garage that is like his dream guys. We'll get it closer I'll tell you what he did something after Krakow died He had a great will very thought out very very appreciative you go afterwards You're like homeboy thought of everything and so I brought it up to Eve and I was like, what are you thinking? And she goes, here's what I'm thinking. Don't just throw my clothes out in goodwill.

And I go, well, what would you like me to do with a 10 year old t-shirt if not goodwill? She goes, I don't want my stuff in goodwill. And I literally went, I don't know what to do with all your clothes then. What do I have to do, save them? I'm not a 75 year old woman. We have different frames.

That's great. I have to happen to be close to a woman who's your size and go, want old sweatpants things? That is a great thing to put in your will, just to be like, don't donate these. Don't get rid of my stuff. But now you're dead. That's why you're dead What's your problem keep going that'll know

It's a Pam your your love of older women because you're looking for someone Again that it's different when I say it here in it too soon Yeah, yeah, what you're doing it is just it's not like it's like it's not a bit. That's the problem You're entering like are they similar sizes? Maybe at this point. I don't know will Pam fit in her clothes We're not gonna be dressing Pam and Eve outfits. So that's let's If I did and I liked it. What am I really saying? Actually, maybe it is good because it should get you further away from whatever's been happening, but it doesn't That's the tone agree the fact that you're also just wearing it like a shower curtain as your shorts

Just as I you're gonna win the churn fat. I thought you were getting on my shirt too and for that it's fine So it's not so you're. So you're back in your house from Alaska. I'm back home for, I fly back Wednesday. I just needed to get home for a few days to see the children. Are you having culture shock to be in regular life? Yes. I got home, well I shot Friday night, then I got on a plane at 2.15 a.m., flew to Seattle, transferred, flew home, so I was as weird as I've ever been on that plane.

Yeah. That in-between sleep reality stuff. Yeah, the reality is the weirdest. Where like, I don't think I slept, but I know that wasn't four hours, so explain what happened. Yeah, it's not worth it. I sure can't. But how great is that Anchorage airport? It's wild. Everything that Anchorage airport?

It's wild. Everything about Anchorage is pretty wild. You like it? Yeah, you know, I do. But Alaska, I mean, what I love about Alaska is everywhere around how close it is to get to things like Whittier, Seward, all these towns that are so unthinkably beautiful.

Yeah. Where like we went down to the, one of the producers, Ashley, her husband is a pilot and he's got this tiny little plane. So we were flying around everywhere. On like days off, we flew down to Homer, Alaska, then jumped on a boat, went to this like private little cove. And I'm like, what world is this?

So good. So do I like Anchorage? Not downtown Anchorage. Are there parties in Anchorage that are great? Absolutely. Doesn't the downtown remind you a little bit of bars when we grew up though like a 15 year old could get a tattoo down there? Yeah talking about where I would have gotten my giving tree tattoo. Anchorage. Completely. By the way, they still have vending machines with cigarettes. See, this is what this is. That's what I mean. It's different. I love it. But there was the time in the 90s when you look back and I was like, how did all that happen? There was fully going to bars.

You knew the bars that would let you in. How do you get cigarettes? You buy them at a gas station. The cigarette vending machine was the greatest. I used to walk like three miles with like I ran an arcade in like my cargo shorts to go down there and just buy like Paul Maul's from a vending machine and like a bowling alley. Paul Maul's? Yeah. All right. Anyway, we have a great show. We're excited to get into it. And we're not going to say another word without further ado This episode of we're here to help is brought to you by the one and only Squarespace

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Hello. Hello. Hello. Can we welcome to the show? Can we get your name, where you're calling from, and your rough age, please? Sure. I'm JoJo. I am calling from Texas. I'm just going to say a large city in Texas. Sure.

And I'm 36. 36. And JoJo, we've been having a little bit of fun with this question here, so why don't we just do it real quick. You're looking at a question from a viewer we've been having a little bit of fun with this question here, so why don't we just do it real quick. Your life memoir gets released. You've written it. What are you titling? What is the title of your life memoir, JoJo? Oh my gosh. I've always thought that it would be something about being friends with everyone like a friend to all

I feel like something like that would be so sweet. It's lovely. Well, you know what the saying is What's the saying a friend to all is a friend to none Jesus Christ, no He went small town Texas on you. Well that's what they say there kid. If you're friends with everybody baby girl, you ain't friends with nobody. Okay, alright. Alright JoJo. I just need one friend. Alright. Who? You?

That's sad. My Smith and Wesson baby. Your gun? Sir! That is really sad. JoJo, what's the problem? JoJo, what's going on? What can we help you with? Yeah, so I work at a new large hospital. It has one of those coffee stands.

You know, you can go get coffee. I usually bring coffee from home, but every once in a while I go up there. And sometime around, like when we were coming back from the pandemic, everyone was wearing masks. Um, I noticed that the coffee lady was being like, especially friendly to me. Um, so I went up there at one point, she said, uh, Oh my gosh, your coffee's on me, you know, you do so much for us.

It's the least I can do. And I thought at the time, maybe, you know, I work in mental health, so maybe she was just referencing like, I think kind of helpful during this difficult time. I just kind of let that go. But she got things super nice. At one point, though, she asked me about a hot dog party that I was having for my employees, which is definitely not a thing that I was doing.

She made a hot dog party? having for my employees, which is definitely not a thing that I was doing. She made up a hot dog party? No, like she, so she thought I was someone else. So there's this person. Yeah. So I kind of like, I was like, oh, I'm not sure about that. She looked at me really strangely, but I realized that she thinks I'm someone else. And yeah, so like stuff like this kept happening.

I didn't really correct her. There may have been other free copies, but I think that this other person looks so much like me. We no longer are wearing masks, so I thought at first maybe she was confusing me with someone else because of that, but she talks about these meetings that we have had. So I think they must be interacting really frequently, and we must look really similar.

Fascinating, bro. You're in pretty deep too. Well, so it's been going on for years. It's been going on for years. I haven't said anything. I know. But it kind of escalated about two weeks ago. And that's like, I've been meaning to call in about the situation overall, but then I realized like, I cannot keep this up and I gotta get some help here. Good.

How did it escalate? Yeah, so, yeah, about two weeks ago, she, first of all, hugely in the case, she called me by the doppelgängers name. So I got the first name. Okay, what is it? And then she, we're gonna go with a close name. I'm just gonna call her Ashley.

So other names Ashley. Any chance you got the last name too or no? No, just the first name. Okay. I know, I know. But yeah, so the copy lady wanted me to get involved in this like conflict with another employee, something about like hair nets and ice machine permissions

and I was so uncomfortable, but I couldn't really tell her she had the wrong person. Holy mackerel. OK, just to give a little life to this moment, she says to you something like, Ashley, I don't think we should have to wear hair nets. And I should be free. Are you still standing in the same ground?

And you were like, exactly. Totally agree. You just played in. Let it go. Yeah, it was so she had gone. And another employee had called her out for not wearing a hairnet. But she was wearing a hairnet. And so she was like, Ashley, I need you to know I would never, I would never do that. Of course, I would follow the rules. And I was like, Yeah, I know you're so great. Like, of

course, you would never break a rule rule and I was trying to get away But she was so intense about it. Yikes I've got a question. Yeah, sorry. What the hell's a hot dog party? Jake you look like exactly the kind of guy who hosts a hot dog party. That's why I'm asking When I get back from Alaska, I guy who hosts a hot dog party. Well, I would. That's why I'm asking. When I get back from Alaska, I want to throw a hot dog party. I just, for the life of me, can't figure out what it is. You just give everybody hot dogs?

Yeah, there's a free hot dog. You got a hot dog pinata? Yeah, you got a bunch of hot dog themed stuff. Photos on the wall of hot dogs. You got a cake with a big hot dog on it. Wear a hat with a hot dog on it. This feels like the wrong kind of party. You just advertising hot dogs everywhere.

There's photos of hot dogs. At a hospital? I mean, JoJo, what the hell? Okay. Because the conference room's closed today for a hot dog party. And if somebody goes like this, ah, right on, great, have fun.

They're crazy. Yeah, oh cool. If the question isn't, what the hell's a hot dog party, everybody's crazy. That's a good idea. So. I'm having a sausage soiree. Quick question for you JoJo,

when she said how was the hot dog party? What'd you respond? Really weird. Did you go like this? Great. Thanks for the free coffee. Or did your thoughts go what? It was definitely black. Having to yes and a hot dog party. But JoJo. thoughts go, what?

Having to yes and a hot dog party. But Jojo, uh, then we'll get off this hot dog madness. I'm just obsessing. Did you ask any followups or did we just push past? At the time I was, I was kind of baffled. So she, yeah, she was like, I heard you were having this party and I just said, Oh, I'm not sure. And she and she like looked at me so strangely and then I'm kind of ran away So glad that you circled back on this Jake because the moment of someone saying to you I heard you had a hot dog party and you having to kind of just find a way to

Have a response. You just want a free coffee. I heard you had a hot dog party. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun. Just a large. Yeah, I'll take a large. What happened? Just gave out like a thousand hot dogs. A little room for cream. Yeah, a little room for cream would be great. So what else happened? Did everybody eat hot dogs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many hot dogs did you give out? Oh, two. People don't eat beyond that. I gotta run. Those lucky bastards. I know. Gosh. Look at that hairnet.

Later. Did you have a big bucket of just cooking hot dogs? Nope, not a bucket. Over a fire? No, just, yeah, I don't, I gotta, I have to go. I'm leaving. Ah, what a party. Hey, next time I would love to be at the hot dog party.

Yeah, we're not gonna do one again. Ever. We're done with them. Slip me in the pack like I'm just one of the hot dogs. That'd be a dream Anyway for you want a muffin or something? No, no, no, I gotta go now now Man shit that the next customer comes up man. She throws the best hot dog parties or she's just saying it to everyone She's out of her mind. I heard you had a hot dog party. Jojo, I got a first pitch. Okay, well, can I tell you my question first?

Sure. How do I throw a hot dog party? Where's the best place for a hot dog party? That would be a great bonus. My question isn't really how to end the situation. It's really like, how do I find my doppelganger? I really want to meet her and see how similar we are. Yeah.

Hey JoJo, thank you for asking that question. Yeah, because we were about to pitch in a different direction. The pitch I was going to say is throw a fake hot dog party. That's also an interesting one. Retroactively fit the lie you've been living. Start weirding her out so that she stops asking you questions and stops liking you. But your question's better and that is how do we find fake you? How many people are in this hospital working?

Tons. Oh, so it's a huge, yeah, it's a very, very big hospital. I do have like a lead, right? So I've got her first name and then did a little bit of internet sleuthing and a possible person it could be. But like the photo's kind of small,, it's probably older photo. I can't really tell. I don't know if it's her, but it might be. I have an idea. Go ahead. Jojo, here's what I think you need to do.

Take a photo of you wearing a mask, make it look grainy, and say, put, make signs up and go, looking for this person, she dropped a bag full of hot dogs, heard her go by the name of Ashley, would love to return. She's awfully nice. Email here if you know who this person is,

first name Ashley, bag of hot dogs. Amazing. And no bad, like really nice person. Nothing about this is negative. Just looking to say thanks or this person invited me to a hot dog party. Just want to say thanks. So people go like there's not trouble but that you are talking

then they'll go email you. You're talking about like Ashley, you know Reynolds. Hmm. It's kind of nice ring. you're talking about like Ashley, you know, Reynolds. Hmm. It's kind of nice to ring to it. Mm-hmm. I like that. I wonder if we can start milking some more information out of Coffee Woman about who you are to her.

Like, is there a way to start to kind of in conversation engage her in a way where she... It's really difficult. That's right. You know what this pitch is called? We'll now have a new pitch for it. Columbo? No, they're all Columbo. This one is called...

Title... Milk the Cow. Milk the Cow. Maybe we can milk the cow a little bit we need to we need to do that we need to find a way to now is this the only coffee place in the entire building oh but yeah I mean you can get some at like the cafeteria. Right. But yeah, it's the only like stand like this. Mm hmm. I have a here's a here's a crazy pitch. Um, my crazy is there like an area to sit and have your coffee? No, not up there. You can like stand around, but there's not it's not like a little cafe or

anything. It's just right in the front of the like atrium when you walk in. It's not like a little cafe or anything. It's just right in the front of the like atrium when you walk in. This is what I would suggest. This is a crazy one. And I think that we're probably gonna nix this quickly. But why don't you sit out there on a day off and just wait and watch people who go in there

wear a mask so you're incognito, put a hat on. You're talking about a stakeout. I'm talking about a stakeout. Bring pistachios. Bring pistachios. Bring pistachios, smoke a couple grits. Really make a day of it. Have a partner. Have a hot dog for God's sake.

But if you need a partner. You're wasting away over there, JoJo. But JoJo, if you're white, your partner's gotta be black. If you're black, your partner's gotta be white. Without question, we can't have two of the same race. Makes no sense. Not on a stakeout. And at one point, one of you has to look to the other and be like, I'm getting a little too old for this. Yeah, I can't have two of the same race. Makes no sense. Not on a stakeout. And at one point, one of you has to look to the other

and be like, I'm getting a little too old for this. Yeah, I can't keep doing this. And then right at that moment, you go like this. Wait. Wait. That might be her. So much taking. She sits there for two hours and eats like five meals.

Just boxes surrounding her. She's smoking. What do you think of a stakeout, JoJo? I'm not opposed to it. Yeah, I could find a way to do that. I mean, we know she goes there. Yes. You know what else we could do?

The sign you're talking about hanging, Jake. Yeah. We could hang a sign outside of the coffee place that is away from the woman working in there that only people walking in could see. And it could say something like, did you throw a hot dog party however long ago? Please contact me, I wanna get the details for my own. Something like that.

Jojo, I don't hate it. I don't hate it either. I don't hate the idea of going, looking to throw a hot dog party for my kid. Someone threw a great hot dog party. If you did, please email here. And then you just go hotdogpartylady at gmail.com. And by the way, it's not taken.

That email's open. Oh, fantastic. No, it's not taken. That email's open. No, it's taken. Believe me. You need to be hot dog lady 48 or something like that. Because I got the first 45. Not okay. I've also got the website. I'm also working on the app, hot dog lady. The app, hot dog party app. I want everyone to be able to use it.

This thing's $30. Yeah, well, it's worth it You can throw a party anywhere and what we do is we provide the hot dogs in the buns Yeah, I don't know I Part of me thinks that you these might be starting off points And then I do think there's something to try to just milk some information out of the coffee woman, which could be really smooth Yeah, I just don't know how exactly to play it. I have a pitch on how to. Okay.

Gareth, you be coffee lady. Okay. I'll be Moe. No, you won't be. Because Moe passed away in a drowning. By the way, this would work with her. Jojo, can I ask you a question? Are you familiar with our characters characters Pigly and Moe?

Yeah, of course. You sound really into the idea, which is great for us because we recently have killed them off of the show. And we've only received, we've received a number of voice memos today about how thankful people are that they're gone. Did you have an opinion on Pigly and Moe? Anything positive, negative, neutral? You can be honest. Be honest. Yeah, be honest. This is a safe space. No, I'm devastated to hear their demise. I really enjoyed Pickly and Moe. Well, the audience killed them. OK, well, but here's how we could do this.

Actually, JoJo, will you be the coffee lady? Come on. Sorry, Gareth. I just remembered other comments they have where they say we leave the collar out too much. Can I be the customer right before? Yes. Thank you. I Just love the work. How about you? So let's try this and three two one pigly and moe That's our new way of saying action. Okay. I didn't know. And now we can stop talking pigly and moe They're gonna go now you talk too much about pigly and moe. Yeah, now this shows all you guys talking about how pigly and moe are gone in health.

Pigly and moe is the new term for action. Great, I love it. Three, two, one, pigly and moe. Oh, and you don't have any muffins today, do you? Just that one over there, just the last blueberry. Looks gross. OK, I'll wait over here for my coffee. Sure, have a nice day.

Thank you. Sorry, I'm just throwing how short that was. You know what? I'll take the muffin. Knowing you, customer one. I'll take the muffin. You have to be kicked out. I'll take the muffin.

I'm gonna give it to my son. He's staying with me. He was just laid off. He's 32. Oh. Can you believe that? I'm sorry to hear that. I had to move my treadmill out of his room because I turned it into a little gym. It is interesting how your accents change into

an old throwback character. Your turn will be soon sir. Hold on I gotta step up here I'm looking to throw a hot dog party ma'am. I'll wait over here just put the muffin in the bag. Hi how are ya? Hey girl, how are you doing today? That's good girl, how are you? I'm doing great, it's so nice to see you up here as always. You too, hey, will you remind me, sorry girl, I haven't had my coffee yet. What were we talking about the other day?

Oh, you know that meeting that we had about the ice machine? Yeah, I'm trying to remember which one I'm so sorry, but my head has been like in the clouds girl You know how it goes. What was the I know again That's why I love your coffee girl. But what was that meeting? Yeah, well you were so kind to let us use your ice machine because ours was broken up here. So remember we had talked about you told me it was OK for us to go in there and use your ice. I so appreciate it.

Thank you so much. Yeah, so you had let us know that would be OK. So we've been doing that the last couple of weeks. OK, Gareth, jump in as the girl. Now let's both be her and try to figure out how to do this. Because we're very close to something here. Jojo, this is really how the coffee shop lady is. Milk in the cow could be the way.

I think so. This is also insane, Jojo. And this really might be a bad pitch. But is there any world you could go in a disguise with a voice and go like, hey girl, sorry. Was there a girl, woman here who kind of looks like, and describe yourself, who like,

threw a hot dog party, I gotta give her a gift card for like, Dunkin' Donuts. What floor she work in? Okay. But I wouldn't do that voice obvious. Nobody would. You know where I'm going, Gary.

Nobody would, but what you could do is show up with... Keep going, we're right there. In some kind of disguise, like a wig, a weird hat. We're going doubt fire now. We're doubt firing. Go in there, show a grainy picture of yourself. Yeah, in a mask. And say, I was supposed to meet this woman here for coffee.

She works here. She threw a hot dog party or something like that. I just want to give her a gift as a thank you. She's been so helpful to my family. Do you know what her name is or where she works in the building? And just see if you can get any. You could also do this.

Or have a friend do it or a significant other. Or do this, Jojo. There was a woman who came in here who looked like this. And you show the photo, and you go, she was so kind to me. Can you leave her this as a little gift? And it's just a gift card with a little note with an email on it saying, thank you for your kindness, so that she gives it to her.

Then the woman emails a thank you, like thank you for the card, I don't remember you, but that's awfully generous. Now you got her. That's called the JoJo trap. I like that too. I think that's pretty good. I think you could have if

You want to avoid going to your work in a disguise you can have someone else do that for you with that set up The picture she threw the hot dog party It's such a clear thing and you just want to say I just said you get her a $50 gift card to something Get easy daddy warbucks. Come on. We want to make the email you get her a $50 gift card to something get easy daddy warbucks come on We want to make the email possible. What are you gonna do eight? Did you see they don't make $8 gift card you can put in whatever amount you want? So no one's a real someone is a gift card and a lot of people you do it you just added yourself You just added yourself mo

But whatever it is and I like that too. I think that's another way to maybe you know that's a slower play. Let's go to that's a place to start. So Jojo I gotta tell you we've thrown some hitters at you. What are you thinking? Yeah gosh as much as I would love to like try and do it disguise. I'm not sure how skilled I am. Easy. Mask and big glasses. Yeah. And then just before we go on, give me three different voices and characters. I was going to say. But I don't want you to think about it. Don't get nervous. We're all terrible. You heard how bad mine were. So give me the first one. Start off with Jojo. Tell us her name and then go. Wait, tell me, oh the name of the character that I'm playing?

The character's name, make it up as you go, what's her name, character number one and go. Hey, I'm Sally, I'm just coming up to the cashier to get me some coffee. Wonderful. Sally works, number two. Hi, I'm Sarah. Sally works. Number two. Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm just here. Let's go a little bit away from Sally. Maybe older, think older.

What do you sound like as a 60 year old who smokes? Okay. Lifelong smoker, love the slots. Okay. Lifelong smoker. Love the slots. Yeah. This is Jan and I'm here to get some coffee for the day. You are Jan.

Good Jan. So we got two great characters. The third one is you just picked up the kids at soccer. You do every PTA meeting, you're just the sweetest old pumpkin pie in the world, but you're crazy. And you've got a dark secret. Boy. I hate hot dog parties. You hate hot dog parties. And you are bad news. What's her name? JoJo. Oh, gosh. What's her name. What's her name?

Jojo. What's her name? What's her name? Barbie with a secret. Well, Barb seems like a good name for that. Barb it is. In three, two, one, Pigly and Moe. Hey lady, I just got done. Sounds a lot like Jojo. That's Jojo. Why are you lying to me? Why are you doing this, Jojo? Remember, we can't beat Jojo. Ashley? Three, two, one, pigly and go.

Hey girl, I just dropped off the kids at soccer and I'm just here to get my matcha strawberry vanilla extra latte. How you been? I think we go with Gianna or Sally and I think we got a winner here. But what do you think Jojo of this going in as a character? Is this something you might try to actually do? Oh my God. I think I would.

I'm a little nervous. I think I would do this. Why not have some fun with it? Oh Jojo. Oh my god, I think I would. I'm a little nervous. I think I would do this. Why not have some fun with it? Oh, Jojo. I think you can pull it off. I really do. Here's one of the things.

Here's one of the things like having worked on like prank shows before, you forget and you got to realize nobody thinks someone's going to do this. That's exactly right. You've got to remember, she's not like on the lookout for someone pretending to dig up facts about a hot dog party. Now Jojo, I'm going to ask you to do something crazy that is half for fun, but not full Pigly and Mo because it's also, I think it's going to help us.

Can you, who are you going to be, Sally or Gian? Who do you like more? I mean, I think that only probably easier for me to do it. Okay. So now I need you to be Sally and I need you to be the coffee lady because you know the coffee lady well and take a guess of how it's going to go. Remember the goal of this is to give her something to give to the other you, so the other you can respond to the email, right?

So will you do both characters so we can see to the best of your ability if this has a fighting chance or not? Okay, I can try. Okay, three, two, one, Piggly and go. Hi, good morning. It's nice to see you. How are you today?

Okay, I'm doing great. How about you? Oh, well, you know, it's been a slow start to the morning. Hey, listen, I was wondering if you could do something for me. There was this really nice lady who helped me out the other day. I actually got a picture of her here. And she was just so kind. And I wanted to thank her.

So I left her a little note and my contact information. Would you be able to give that to her for me? Yeah, sure, I can do that. I think I know who this is. You do? I think that's actually Ashley. Does that sound like the right name? I'm not sure her name, but I trust you to get that to her.

Thank you. Yes. You're welcome. That's great. The only thing I'd say is why not to her. Thank you. Yes. You're welcome. That's great. The only thing I'd say is why not say her name's Ashley? Yeah, why did you make it harder on yourself? Say like all I can remember her name's Ashley. I don't know her last name.

Do what you're saying. That's perfect. Okay, I didn't even think of that. She's a wonderful lady. I think her name is Ashley. Yeah. Then she's just waiting for this one woman. But Jojo, that's phenomenal. That's phenomenal. Can I make some outfits suggestions? Yes. I want big glasses,

go to the Goodwill, get a big set of old lady glasses, huge shoe gum during the whole thing, and have some big lipstick on. Like a big color. Okay. By the way, I love all that. Like a big color. Okay. By the way, I love all that. A lot of gum will change your character. Oh yeah, gum will help. Also, right before you go on, drink two Red Bulls. Yeah.

Right before you go in, go grab a coffee. Just, I want you to be so jacked up that you have shaky hands. So she's like, oh honey, relax. And you're going like. And let's do this the day before you have a day off so that the next day you're not in any trouble of being involved in the. Just make sure you've got two days in a row where you just get in your coffee from the

other stand. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. Perfect. I can do that. Hey, Jojo, will you take a picture of yourself and now with it? But voice note the whole thing be holding on to your phone please oh

You've got to record this where the wire But we got to see what you look like and then you got to Donnie Brasco at where the wire where the wire Wild make her sleep with the fish. Where the Wire. Wild. Make her sleep with the fish. Well, that's killing her. We're not gonna do that. Well, I'm not here for that. Yeah.

Well, throw a hot dog party. That means kill her. That's, no it doesn't. That's not me with that, no. Hey, you're gonna get promoted, Garrett. Come to my hot dog party. Forget about it. Sit in the front seat of the Oldsmobile.

Hey, I decided we gotta get rid of Garrett. We're gonna make him a hot dog party. Yeah, he Garrett. We're going to make him a hot dog party. Yeah, he'll come. I'm going to throw him a hot dog party. He'll come to my hot dog party in the basement of New Jersey. Hey, wait a minute. Are you guys throwing me a hot dog party? Why are all these tarps down?

Pop, pop, pop, pop. So JoJo, will you please follow up? I think this is going to work. I do too. Oh my God, absolutely. Thank you. Thank you for the great call. Can't wait. Thank you so much. for the great call. Can't wait.

Thank you so much. I'll have a great rest of your day. All right. Now I need you to pigly and go. And don't make a pigly and slow scram now. Would you? Thank you, Jojo. I wear my shirts off. It's definitely pigly and dough.

I don't know why it went there. Please stop. And you on the road. It's pigly and dough. Okie dokie, I don't know why it went there. Please stop. And you on the road, it's Pigly and Blow. Well, every now and then. A little something to get me ready before the Pigly and Show. Thank you so much. All right. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

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So try Kachava. K-A-C-H-A-V- va.com code here to help for 15% off Hello Hello, hello there welcome to the show can we get your name age and where you call them from please Yeah, we will go with Nick for this roughly 30 and calling from Utah. Utah and uh Nick I think Utah is the most beautiful state if I may.

More than Alaska? Yeah, Alaska's baby better. I would say in the landlocked. Yeah, maybe that's 48. Yeah Nick you write a memoir. It's about your life. What are you gonna go with as the title? Oh I would go with Making it through one one day at a time one last at a time I don't know, something like that. Okay, I talked to the publisher. They have some thoughts on that,

but why don't you just jump into the problem and we'll try to help you out. What do you got? Yeah, so look, I'm gonna need to be straight with you guys. I need to know that you guys are on my side before I jump into the prompt. Need to confirm that, because this is, you know, it's going to be out there a little bit.

But we're very public that we are always on the caller side. So we are on your side. It might get sticky to that, but we're definitely going to pitch in a direction to solve your problem, even if we got to kind of, you know, be the uncles a little bit and say, what were you thinking? But we will try to solve your problem. That's a promise. A premise and a promise. Okay.

I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Okay. So, the setup is, I worked for a smaller company in Utah, And when I started, there was kind of a group of guys who would go to the gym together. Okay. So I was like, you know, I would love to find my way to get into there and, you know, be one of the boys getting by the gym. Well, found my way in, which is great.

Um, but I quickly learned that going to the gym for them means sitting in a steam room for 20 minutes and talking about, you know, most of the time it's talking about work, sometimes it's personal, different things like that. So the problem I'm, I love steam rooms, I think they're great. Sitting in a steam room with them is great.

The problem I'm having is that when we sit in a steam room, we'll just sit in a towel and the gym provides towels and they're white towels. And so the problem I'm having is every time I sit in there, we're sitting in there for a good 20 minutes straight. It's always, you know, how, who can sit there the longest or we get really sweaty, different things like that. Um, so the problem I'm having is no matter what I seem to do, I will always have a little shit stain on my towel by the end of the 20 minute session. And I know what you're gonna And I know what you're thinking right now. You know, it's the simple solution,

just wipe or clean your ass. Well, I do. And I've gone into it multiple times where I'm like, okay, right before we go, I'm gonna do, you know, a couple extra wipes, different things like that. But I don't know if it's just the way I'm sweating. If it's, you know, I don't know what's going on down there. There, there's gotta be a solution, but I haven't found it.

So would love to hear your guys. Hey, Nick, we're not goddamn doctors. Have you heard our stupid show? We pitch things like eat three things of bubble gum, not why is there always shit in your ass even after you wiped good sir? This feels like you need Big Lee and Moe. You need the proctologist's assessment. But Nick you're telling me...

I thought your show was We're Here to Help. I thought you were going to tell me. Nick you're dead right. We're not here to help. I thought you Think you're dead, right? We're gonna not here to white We might be But I will make your dad right and we're for sure not turning on yet No, but nobody wants you to walk out of there without a shit-stain towel more than us aside from maybe you but let's talk this Oh, yeah. Yeah, I tell you everything every evolution. I've had so far

Yeah, yeah, I tell you everything every evolution I've had so far No, I'll typically mornings, you know, I take a long time cleaning my ass and Then I will always make sure you know days that we're going to the gym I'm always double triple quite sometimes even quadruple wiping making sure it's all good down there No, you shouldn't. Do you shit in your pants during the day? Not that I know of. I don't think so.

But... Okay, keep going. So sometimes you will quadruple... Go ahead. Yeah, maybe there's some disconnect. Maybe I've been doing it wrong my whole life. I don't know. I so I I've tried dude wipes, not a sponsor, but I've tried different things, you know,

and it's some diet. Sometimes I've been able to figure it out, you know, but then the next day it'll be back. And I'm like, man, I don't know what I'm doing wrong here. You know, let me pitch you something. So have you ever used the bidet? I have, yes. Thoughts on it, brother? Yeah, I'm all about bidets.

The problem is that we're an in-office company, so I can't really... They don't have one there, you know? How often are you dumping out in a day, brother? So that actually that might be connected I am a an avid runner and an avid protein Sounds like you got a runner in the back a lot Sorry, I had to I had to apologize go ahead So I I'm frequenting I'm frequenting in the bathroom Three times. Yeah, Maybe that's the problem.

Three times a day? Three times in the morning. Three in the morning? Nick. Nick, is that it for the day or more after? There's always at least three in the morning and then sometimes it'll be more Okay, I'm taking less afterwards. But yeah, you're taking too many dumps brother. Yeah, I I'm not gonna We're not gonna get have a consistency conversation on this call, but that's too many. Are you ever not taking a dump? Maybe your butthole doesn't know that you ever turned the faucet off

doesn't know that you ever turn the faucet off. It just goes, we remain open. Food comes in, just whenever it wants to leave, just leave, there's no exit at all. It's just on, brother. Three times in the morning every day, Nick, that's wild. Now if that was it for the day, I think you could maybe get away with it. But then you're saying to your body,

why three times in the morning? It's a lot, and again, we're not gonna have the. Maybe, but then you're saying to your body, why three times in the morning? It's a lot. And I don't, again, we're not going to have the consistency conversation, but obviously- What's the consistency? No. For the most part, it's normal. It's healthy. I have healthy stools.

I've looked it up. Okay. But the consistency, just the amount of the amount of times I go is a lot probably the issue You're talking in a day of threes in the morning by the time you go to bed. We're talking about six in a day. I Mean we that's we've had six in a day. We've had seven in a day. It's regularly that's called diarrhea not No, not regularly Okay, but you're talking regularly Go Nick. I'm on it. I'm on a schedule

Like I don't know exactly when like it's you know, right when I get to work sometimes before but most the time it's right when I get to work and then and then a couple, you know coffees or whatever and then Go again and then another time right before lunch. And then before lunch. You're saying you're on a schedule. You're not. Well, he might be. So what is the schedule?

Well, what he just said. I mean, it's one in the morning and then a couple of predictable ones, which is how it is for everyone, basically. That's not a schedule. That's like you're saying, like, I take shits. We all take shits. So you're not necessarily on a schedule, especially if you're going seven times in a schedule. That's like you're saying like, I take shits. We all take shit. So you're not necessarily on a schedule,

especially if you're going seven times in a day. There's a schedule, but you're just listening to your body. Like everybody does. Yours is just calling. It's definitely not seven times every day. Can I give you some more context if it helps? Sure, it'll help. I, as I run, whenever I sweat, I always kind of say to people, I'm

not a sweaty guy, my armpits never stink, it takes a lot to get me sweat. The reality is the first place I sweat out of is my butt. And so even if I'm walking, even if I'm going, you know what I mean? And so that's where I'm walking, even if I'm going, you know what I mean? And so that's where I'm like, sure. Can I be contributing to the problem? Is it too funny down there? You know what I mean? It could be. I'm going to, I'm going to have to ask a gross one, Jake. I'm sorry. I don't want to. Well, imagine the poor people eating during this.

I know there's people right now. There's, there's probably, you're sitting down at a kitchen table. Yeah. No, no, no. We're absolutely ruining lives. Well, no, that's in me. I'm trying to enjoy a sauna session and this is happening to me. You know what I mean? We feel bad. Nick, we're on your side here.

We're on your side. And we're about to ruin the lives of many to save yours. So we apologize to everyone who's, you know, just maybe they're like, hey, let me listen to this podcast. We're on a road trip. While I'm eating yogurt on the commute. Yeah. Yeah. with fruit in it. This is my question for you, Nick.

Are you a hairy guy? Is it hairy back there? That's a good question. That is something I was thinking of. I'm not a hairy guy, but it is hairy back there. Is it hairy in there? Yes, of course it is. Yeah, yeah. Okay, Let me ask you a question on the question, Nick. I'm not a hairy guy, but it's hairy down there.

Define hairy guy. You know, there's not a lot of hair on my chest. There's some hair on my nipples, but that's pretty much it, you know? You got hairy nipples and a hairy butt? You got the crack hair. Okay, and look, this is important and I'm glad you answered honestly because... Are you going to pitch something insane? Yes. Go for it.

Brazilian. I knew you were going to say that. I want you to get it waxed and I want to see if there's a difference. I want you to do it on a Friday afternoon after work where you're not going to be doing gym bros for a few days. I think that might make a difference for you. I want to see what this does to you. Before we even go further with this insanity, which you're right, Gareth.

I am right. We need a certain type of hero in Utah. And I don't know if we got that in Nick. Nick are you willing to get it? First of all, how dare you? Knowing Nick the way that I know Nick, he's at his wit's end. I know he is. He's calling it.

And he's going to do whatever it takes. But this is different. I don't think he's... But he's tried everything. You think he's willing to try to get a... You're damn right I do. You're damn right I do. You think I'm emailing into a podcast about my dirty asshole, and I'm not gonna try everything

Yeah, Nick. I'm wrong. You're right. I'm offended. All right now That's act will you brown eye of the tiger? So where in Utah are you King? Well? We'll bleep that out and I'll tell you why I say this, because we're going to pay for it. I was going to say we're going to make an appointment right now if you're OK with it. Nick, we don't want to clean out your bank account. We want to clean out your. You know what we're going to do, Nick, if you're comfortable with this, if you really do it, we're going to call the place right now and book

the appointment for you and ask what we're looking to do. But we need you to go do it if this all works. Are you in 100%? 100% I am in. Alright brother. 1000% I'm in. Brother, we're going to beep out all the details obviously, but will you give to Nat? Nat, will you do a quick Google search? Call a place that's close, see if we can get them

on the line and then we're going to book an appointment. Nick, we're going to need you talking about when you're available. So the three of us will, Oh no, you know what we'd love to do, Nick? You book the appointment, you do the talking. Yep. Okay. And if we need to, we'll jump in as uncles. Yep. Which will only be comfortable for them. Yeah. Well, here's what we're going to do, Nick. We're going to call and you're going to do the talking, and if you need us for any reason, you say the word. I don't know if we want to initiate that. No, we're not going to... you just go like this. Jake or Gareth, and then whoever you call, they'll just jump in and help.

Yep. So why don't you give us your zip code, Nick, and again, we'll believe that all out. So you can do... Yeah, you can do it. It should be Utah. Okay. Okay, I'm looking for,

there's a few different waxing studios. Nick, I'm sorry I doubted you. And Nick, I'm proud of you. We're both proud of you. And you'll for sure have to film yourself a little bit during it and then come on for a follow-up. You'll definitely have to just get your face while it happens. No, unless you're on privacy.

No, because we don't want his face. But just the VO. Yeah, I am being an omnivore. We'll just have to get a voice memo of your reaction to the sound and the reaction, and then you're definitely going to have to come on for a follow-up to talk about the experience and if it's helped. Is it close to you? Yeah.

Yeah. Great. I'm just as we're doing it just so you guys know. I'll do a Brazilian for men. They do have Brazilians for men? I just wrote, how long does it take to recover from a Brazilian butt wax? Let me explain what's gonna happen to you, brother. Immediate aftermath, first 24 to 48,

you're gonna have a little redness, you're gonna have some bumps and you're gonna have some irritation. Your skin may feel a little sensitive, itchy or tingly. And we're gonna need you to avoid sweating, tight clothes, hot showers or friction. Full coverage, two to five days. Tips for fat, go ahead.

Well, here's what I'm going to say. When we have the appointment coming, do you guys work out when you go to the steam after or is it pure steam? It's pure steam. Sometimes we'll work out if we have some time in the day, but most of the time, if we only have 20 minutes, we'll just go do steam. I got two other things. Consider using a post-w wax soothing product or witch hazel

Yeah, it doesn't the other one is where loose breathable underwear and we just got a new sponsor. I think it is me on these. Yes I'm gonna contact on ya. We send your address. We're gonna send you a pack of me We have we pack of me. We have we've got a couple pairs of meandis. And let me tell you these are going to be meandis are perfect for everything. I don't know if they have cosigned the idea that they're the perfect underpants for a post male Brazilian. They certainly they certainly are versatile. We're cosigning it for them. Can I ask you two a question? Sure. Have you ever sat in a steam room for for 20 plus minutes? Yes, but naked in a white towel. Yes. Yes many times. And no to answer your question. Yeah, Nick so many times. I just did one in Girdwood, Alaska.

I don't want I used to do them at the YMCA all the all the time. Yes, I love them, I love them, I love them. Not once, not once has there been a stain. Never have I found a stain. Okay, then I'm being humbled right now because I thought maybe everyone had this. No, this is a problem, brother. This is a problem, but let's start checking things off the box here.

Natalie, you're talking to us. I wanted to ask you guys a question. Have you guys had any sort of Brazilian before? No. No. Have you ever had that? Yeah, I have. And it's very painful.

Yeah. Okay. Well, hey, can we just actually... Is this the moment to scare our friend? Can we sign the deal before we start talking about the fine friend? I should talk about all this, like, go do it. I feel like he should also do it. I feel like he should also do it. You feel like I should go do it too?

What is this? Oh, yeah. Natalie, what's Nick? Quiet. What are you talking about? Would you do it for the show? You just went for it. No.

Garrett, make a YouTube video. It'll be all good for your 15 podcasts. You can't recommend it without having done it. You got Salt Lake on your tour? Let's go together. OK, now we've pushed the break. It'll be all good for your 15 podcasts. You can't recommend it without having done it. You got Salt Lake on your tour? Let's go together. Okay, now we've pushed the brakes. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard, if you do it together.

I don't have anything Salt Lake, so no. But you guys can do it on the same day, then we can have you both on to discuss it. Yes, follow up where you guys talk about your experiences. You know, this is the difference between our success levels, Jake. This is, you can't do this. I can do this. And I will do this. Yeah! I will do this. It was your idea. I didn't point at Jake because he wasn't the one who suggested it.

What are you talking about? We are both coaching up on here. Let's not turn this into something that's not, Gareth. You're excited to do it for the show. It has nothing to do with success. You are excited to do this. I I will do it I know you will Robert so let's not pretend it's anything but fun So now fun, but we cannot call them yet because they're not open yet But says for guests with the penis this service includes everything from the I'm out You're not going to this one Or something for you

This service includes everything from the bikini full plus the scrotum and shaft you decide how much hair remains on top Why are we doing? Why are we doing? Yeah? No, we don't we don't have to What are we doing shaft? No, we don't have to. We don't have to. All we're doing is backdoor. You don't have to. I'm just saying that this is, you know, it's all in... We're just doing backdoor boys.

Yeah. Backdoor boys. By the way, Nick, we got a gang name. The backdoor boys. Also, we just got a... We got new merch. I'm a backdoor boy. Nick, what's your window?

Let's say if we're going to actually be for real and pick a date, I'm thinking we do it. June 12, July 12, June 12th. That's what I'm thinking. Can you have it done by 12? Yeah, I can do it. And then do this, Nick, when you do it, because we can't make the appointment. Send us the bill and we'll pay for it. OK, but send us confirmation of the appointment, send us the bill and we'll pay for it. Okay.

But send us confirmation of the appointment. Yes. And then Gareth will send his confirmation of the appointment and we'll lock this in. And then we'll have both you guys back on for a big follow up because yes, this is, we're going to have two follow ups. The first one is just how it felt for both you guys, where you're at in your experience, and then we're going to bring you back on again for did it fix the problem? OK, I might need I might need a couple of weeks after that, because there are times where it's like it's been good, but then it OK.

And then, you know, you're Nick, you're going to be on the show a lot, brother. Don't you doubt it. Looking forward to it. Here's the other thing Nick. Remember what Jake said when he read the Nightmarish Follow-Up part of this. No sweating for a couple days after. You're not going to be able to steam right after. That's the problem dude. I'll be walking and I'll sweat out of my bubbles. Yeah, but all you gotta do is just take it easy for a couple of days. You can sweat a little bit. Just take it easy.

So, book your appointment, send us confirmation, and I'll see you in the end zone, amigo. Okay, will do. All right. Nick, great call. Thank you, brother. Bye. We can call each other, we can call ourselves the Brazilian brothers after this, Jared. We'll catch you later, Nick.

Take care, bud. Bye. Bye. Great. Bye. Brazilian brothers. We'll catch you later, Nick. Take care, bud. Bye. Bye. Great. For you. Attack. Wonderful idea. Producer Sherlock here. This next call is a follow up from episode 90.

Hunk with a Little Chunk. Hello there! Welcome to We're Here to Help again. Hey guys. Hi, welcome back. We know you're a follow-up and that's all we know. So how about your name and what the first call was? I believe the name I went by at that time was Opal and the follow-up, yeah, the call is about how my dad, he is following a page called Women's Butts along with a bunch of other You know what's great about this, here's two things are great about this show, Jake. One,

show Jake. One, one that I didn't remember this until I did. And it says a lot about what we work with and now that I remember it I'm fully. So Opal will you walk us through and repitch the problem and what our pitch was and what you did? Oh my God. So, um, We're looking at his follower, his follow page right now. And it's women underscore. But it's just it's it's.

Go ahead. Silly for Tilly. Yeah. It's a woman's butt. It's so funny to follow women. But you know, it's got some interesting taste. Who? Yeah, he's like in the character to the baby Sophia Darius. He find him, by the way. An old guy looking at baby Sophia.

She's not a baby, to be fair. Why call you a baby Sophia? It's not great. I'm not trying to fully defend it. Why don't you just go infant? Gross. Or just like how about 18 plus? Yeah, like big boobs how about

I'm an adult like how did he find her anyway I'm an adult you're an adult you want to look at each other's genitals dot-com adult adult enters adult general swap dot-com I will finance that app none of this none of this shit with a younger cage you know fucking people getting trapped. You're an adult, I'm an adult, we want to swap generals. Let's have a look. And you got to be from Chicago, the Midwest. One free work with it.

Yeah. All right. Back to you, Opal. So yeah, basically the bridge version is that my husband and my brother-in-law kind of came up to me and my sisters and were like, you got to check your dad on Instagram. His followers aren't private and we could see who he's following and that it's mainly for him to kind of be a little bit of a horn dog. So you guys proposed, I remember the main proposal was just to have maybe my husband talk to him, whoever was the closest to my dad as far as like being chill with him.

Just be like, hey, you know, you've got to, you know, reel this in or make your page private or something along those lines. DIRF. So what happened? So I proposed it to my husband at first and the first he was game and then he was kind of a little nervous about it. And then I don't know if you noticed that Instagram does this now, but you can, it'll kind of suggest posts that your friends already commented on.

So like if you look in like the top corner, it'll have a little icon of their page and then you can see stuff they already commented on. So like if you look in like the top corner, it'll have a little icon of their page and then you can see stuff they've commented on. Oh. And I kept seeing the icon for my dad's page because he's the only one I know that has that, who doesn't have a picture. And I was like,

and it's gotten worse. Opal, hold on. Opal, hold on. What are some of the things your dad has commented on? Let's look and it's gotten worse Opal hold on. What are some of the things your dad has commented on these comments? Let's say like, you know twerking videos What is he saying? What's he saying? Yes No It's a whole new level to be commenting. Did we know that in your first call that he was commenting?

No, we did not know who he was commenting. Commenting is just next level bad. Yes! Yes! On a twerking video. These are the people who comment on porn. Yes! Oh, God. By the way, for everybody listening, just comment on our show. Just write, yes. Yes! Yes! Or, no. No! For everybody listening just comment on our show just write yes. Yes

Yes, or no No, yes, you you see a butt video yes video no I wish that's how critics were with movies The New York Times yes Zop and we were like, it's good. Those two were the best. You ever see the video of them where they get mad at each other during the promo? Oh, where they're just like trying to cut a promo

for the show or something. If you weren't such a jerk. Well, the only reason we're doing it again is because of you. And tonight we're going, yeah, they're going right back into it. How about a little bit of enthusiasm, Gene? But so Opal, he's now writing yes in comments.

And you're seeing that, ugh. Yeah. First of all, are you okay? No. Yes. There we go, a resounding no. Yeah. I had spoken to my siblings and I was like,

this is what I see now, should I do something? And I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna message him because I don't have the mental fortitude to have that type of conversation in person. I agree, can we have a screen grab of the conversation and can Gareth and I read it? I could find it. Yeah, you could do it real quick. And while you do, allow me to just point out how fucking amazing it is.

Actually, I don't think I have it because I didn't want to keep seeing it in my inbox. I get that. But I do remember what I said. Pulling your siblings aside for a chat about dad commenting on butt videos. Just unreal. Okay, what was the conversation like, Opal? So it was basically like, hey, you know, I don't want to pass any judgment. We're both adults here.

But I'm not sure if you know this, but people could see what you like and what you comment on on Instagram. You know, I was like, like I said, not passing any judgment, but just you might want to be mindful of that. Passing a little judgment. I know. The more I say no judgment. Yeah. So no judgment. No judgment. You should know there's some judgment.

I call the podcast about it. As much judgment as there can be. No judgment. But I think I should be wearing a robe with a gavel. All right. Keep going. So you lied and said no judgment. Yes. And then I sent it. I sent it on its way. And then he read it. He just did not respond. And I like it. Well, this is a nightmare. How long ago was that? Um, probably about a month or so ago. Fuck. And what's been happening now?

It has not changed. So, um, you know, I think he's just kind of like he's like, I'm retired. I mean, me. You mean it hasn't changed in the sense that he's still commenting? Yes. Holy shit. I mean me you mean it hasn't changed in the sense that he's still commenting Yes I mean I got a I got I got a respect I got a crazy pitch go Do we create a fake? But account trying to trigger what he likes so that we can DM him and tell him try to get him to stop by like what's the Paul Thomas Anderson movie again I'm

forgetting punch drunk love mm-hmm where we all of a sudden trap him into something and then go like I'm a man you're looking at these accounts and you're texting with me I know where you live and he'll be like ah and then be like dad get off of those sites they're not women it's men you're texting with me, I know where you live and you'll be like, oh, and then be like, dad, get off of those sites. They're not women. It's men. You're commenting to me like these are scary guys. They're getting your info. Pigly and Moe time.

It could be a perfect candidate, but we're not doing it. But what do you think about is that? I mean, it's probably insane. But is it insane? But how could where are you at, Opal? Is this just a follow up or are you following up looking for pitch? Let's hear it before we go to Opal, Gareth, pitch. Okay.

I mean, oh yeah, go ahead. Opal, you go. You got something to say, say it. Oh, no, no. I was just saying, I think, you know, this is just one of those things that like, he's just, he's content with it, and I don't wanna dive even deeper into what can happen. Well then maybe you don't want pictures.

Well, let's just say, but you know what? We're not gonna do the pictures, but let's hear it. The pitch would be that you get a crew of people, your friends, or you don't wanna go too big, but maybe you keep it in the family, but you guys start commenting back on the pictures that he is commenting on with stuff like dad enough. Yeah yeah dad are we doing a year house on Thanksgiving or we going to mine?

If you try to just start making Thanksgiving arrangements as every comment yes and you just read all yougiving arrangements as every comment. Yes. And you just, all you guys reply to his comment. Just humanizing his disgusting pervert, not disgusting pervert, but his want for butt with just like, hey dad, should we cook the turkey this year or are you cooking it? Really pedestrian things. I like that. The other thing you could comment in is, OMG dad, one of those was mine. I sent it in from college. Oh

Cuz if you're just looking at a random butt And I go dad. Did you just yes that that's literally my butt. This is a account my friends and I started as a joke And you'll go no one and then you'll go yeah, it is and he'll go then no, yes And he'll go, no, it isn't. And then you'll go, yeah, it is. And he'll go, then no, yes. There's so many. I mean, but you want to leave it alone, right, Opal? You don't want to open this up any further.

I think some of those things are just what sleeping dogs lie. I'm sorry, Opal, say what you just said again. I interrupted. I would say it might be one of those let sleeping dogs lie or whatever that saying is. I'm afraid of what other rocks, what other stones it might be. Can I pitch one other thing and then if you don't like we move on? You know we have an Instagram account.

Can we get your dad's info and start commenting on all his comments from us? I don't know, because I don't want him to accidentally get on the podcast and then listen to it. Understood, understood. Alright, you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna walk away. It's hard to do, but we're gonna walk away. We're not gonna create a fake news channel account that starts commenting on there, can we interview you for a piece about old men who like butts?

Yeah, we're not gonna do that. I'm not. Mo might. Mo might. Mo's gone, dude. You know what, Opal, here's what we're gonna do. Thank you for the follow-up. We're gonna stop pitching. We'll stop pitching. Opal, way to go though on trying to confront him. And if we're being honest, way to go to dad for just being like, this is not... I don is not okay this is not a secret I like women's butts it's my fan I mean it's one thing to like women's butts it's another thing to be like my social media footprint is I'm writing women's yes yes oh but I also say, unfortunately for our percentage, this is a miss.

It's not the bell rings. I know. But Opal, we appreciate you tried. I understand why your husband passed. I would probably pass too if I were him. We understand why dad likes women's butts. We just wish he wasn't so open about it on Instagram. He's retired, right?

Yes. You see, it's just house money. He's like, what do you want from me? I worked my whole life. I raised my kids. I would like to look at just butts. Well, and some boobs. He definitely likes a busty lady as well.

At least in the pic, but he's into, he just likes a whole shot of a butt. He likes a butt. I mean, we all, you know, we all got our stuff, but I just don't want people to know about my stuff. Stone likes beef. Your dad likes butts. Yeah. Opal, we appreciate the call.

God bless him. Thank you, Opal. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for the follow-on. Thank you. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon

at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Stralecki, and if you'd like to see Gareth who's standing up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults

and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod. Hey Gorge, it's me Got Mec. And me Violet Tchotchke. And we want you to listen to our podcast, No Gorge, now on Headgum.

Each episode we will be bringing you vlogs, answering burning questions, discussing what's going on right now, and diving into all things fashion, hookups, gossip, and more. With past guests such as Heidi Klum and Deedav Von Teese, NoGorge always keeps things hot. Listen to NoGorge on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Thursday. Bye, Gorge!