We're Here to Help - 187: The Man in the Iron Hair & The Oprah of Lube (with Justin Long)

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

Justin Long re-joins the show for a bonus episode! First, Justin and the guys help a caller whose uncle has an offensive combover. Then, they help a sex therapist offload an excess of lube.See caller images here!Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And we are back with a Wednesday special episode, special guest, and in an intro we got fucking Justin Long with us. What's up, Justin? What's up, guys? Is this part of the weird stuff? Yeah, just we never had a guest in an intro. Oh, really? Yeah, it's the first. Flattered. This is fun. It's good

Well, it's also we've just had the calls and then why that are really Truly see my sleeping pets Yeah, there's a dog sleeping. There's a cat looking at the door. You can hear from Jake's enthusiasm. He loved the animal tour. Let's take it again. Let's take it again. Look at the dog sleeping. In the intro, do you say who's on the show today? Yeah, you. Today.

Oh. Yeah. You're going to love this guy, Justin. I'm going to hang on this intro thing. Justin's in our show today. And you just did a TV show with Max Greenfield. Oh, God. Tell me about that. I took a hike with Max the other day.

He told me. You did? Yes, he said it was as fun as he's had in ages. It was ridiculous. He started doing a bit where he just started hiking up his pants. Did he tell you about that? No. He started hiking up his pants in the scene. He was wearing shorts, and he just started pulling them up pants. Did he tell you about that? No. He started hiking up his pants in the scene.

He was wearing shorts and he just started like pulling them up as high as he could in the scene. Matt Foley. Oh yeah, it was. It was like Matt Foley. I live in a brand. Yeah, it was. And I thought, well, surely he's gonna do one take

where he's not doing this because it's like a network show. I think it's on at eight o'clock. It's CBS. And it was CBS. You don't mess with CBS. No, and I thought, well, he's just doing this to get a lap, to get the laps out. And like, surely they'll do a take where every,

I was so happy that every take he did. He did it. The pan thing and it was getting quite graphic. You know, it's like. You're seeing. You can see his dick. Oh, everything, just perfect outline. And the whole thing, I'm, so of course I'm playing that.

I'm playing the like, it's right in my face. And he's like, I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you, man. You know how he gets that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was a line about something else, but the whole scene became about me trying not to look at his junk. It was really fun and CBS every take.

So it's gonna be on the air unless they cut the whole show. And then what are you doing the new show too? Or did you just do that episode? You are. Yes, I hope to God it gets picked up. So what is the story on it, man? I'm curious. I'm the wacky neighbor.

You know, I'm insane. So you're doing, it's a spinoff of the show and you're good for you. With Sheon and Marcel, two guys who are great, really great actors. And Marcel and I have known each other for years and I've been saying the last couple of years, my fantasy is to play the wacky neighbor on a sitcom.

The best. You're gonna be so funny in that. I've dreamed about it. Just a couple of scenes,. Oh, it's Phil. You know, can I borrow some sugar? Yeah. Phil, that's flour, you know, like that kind of guy. You're just coming in for comedy.

Yes. Pure Jake, it's the dream. You have no lifting, you have no lifting. No emotional stuff, you know, he's just a wild, weird neighbor. That is the best. That is the best, man. I curled my hair, it's all bouncy and fun,

and I'm tripping into things. I think that sounds great. I'm not so wacky, in my opinion. Jake, what do you think? No, that's leading man-hunk. Yeah, I agree. Early 2000 boy band. Yeah, I think that's a fine style.

Actually, no, 2025. All right, let's get to the show, because that actually doesn't sound too wacky to some of us. Sorry, Drew. No, no, that's fine. Wacky in a sexy way. Yeah, sexy. Let's get to the show because that actually doesn't sound too wacky to some of us Sexy way sexy the sexy neighbor is actually yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think you define the character wrong Well by the way man, I have and you know, we've talked about this together but and gareth and I have talked about it too, but the idea of You being a comedic role,

just comedic, is so smart. You are so fucking funny. I'm like, especially in a multicam, I'm like, if you can break that and you can actually, people can get a sense of your comedy in a multicam. What a killer. I would love to watch it. It's just so fun. It's so fun.

It was so fun to make, making Cedric laugh. It was a blast. And so you like the, what does the multicam feel like? You like it? Cause I know Damon and Max love it. I love it. I, you know, I was really excited about,

my favorite part of it is the live audience. And they don't do a lot, I don't know if I should be saying this, but they don't do a live audience on the neighborhood anymore. They do, they have like laughers, which is great. People who are left, but they're paid laughers, which is a job. You know, if I stop at, you know,

if this doesn't work out at a certain point, I wouldn't mind doing that. I sat with them for a while in the audience. And I was like, I could do this. I could just laugh all day. But there was one guy who... It's like the Joker. That's such a wacky neighbor move, by the way.

It is, it is to become a paid laugher. Yeah, I'm a paid laugher now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but it was, I, I, there was one guy that was throwing me off because he, it felt like a little too fort. It felt like the guy who was over performing.

Scary. Scary, just like ha ha ha ha. You know, he was laughing the way you spell laughter, like ha ha ha ha. Right. Yeah. It's funny because I've noticed sometimes if you, there are times where I've watched shows

and I've been like, that guy's laugh's a little distracting. Yeah, like, a hundred percent. Yeah. Gareth, have you ever done Multicam? I've done a few, but I've usually played the like, the kind of safe love interest, you know, and I've never, this has been- The first one, yes.

This is like, Michael Rich, it's like trip, I mean, it's really, anything for a laugh, you know, which is. And then Gareth, have you ever done multi? Yeah, I've done a couple guest stars here or whatever you call a nobody. But yeah, no, I've done a couple. How do you like it? I love it.

I mean, you know, the only thing is it's like, if it's not your show, there is that little bit of extra pressure of getting it right. Oh, to take everything, yes. Which is a little bit of extra pressure of getting it right. Yes, yes, absolutely. Which is a little strange, but I also, live performance to me is still the best version of all of it. And the multicam, I mean, the multicam

is kind of the dream job. Just the schedule. The schedule, the location. Cause my last few experiences had been that, had been like, you're just coming in, you're a guest in somebody else's workplace. Yeah. You can't do two,

you have to kind of like stay within the lines. And yeah, so that, I struggled with it. There was one moment I did the show, Mom, and I remember doing this. I was playing the guy who's going on a date with Anna Faris, but he hasn't kissed her yet. And he hasn't touched her. He doesn't know how to quite make a move.

He's like a very non-threatening guy who is just taking his time, maybe taking too much time. And there was a running gag where Alison Janney says to Anna Faris' character, you should just kind of feel what he's working with. What's his stuff like? And she's like, well, how would I do that? We haven't even kissed.

And she's like, just kind of find an excuse to feel him, to like hug him or like just find some reason to like. And so we were doing the scene where Anna and I are in front of a fire, we're in a cabin and it's like potentially romantic, but I'm still not able to make a move. I got my arm around her, but I'm kind of nervous. And she starts trying to feel, she puts her legs with my kind of entwined with mine

and she's kind of trying to feel what my junk, you know? And I'm going, I'm just saying innocuous lines, with mine and she's kind of trying to feel my junk, you know? And I'm going, I'm just saying innocuous lines, like, you know, tomorrow might be fun if we took a hike, you know, and I'm feeling her feel me. And that's kind of how the scene ends. And Chuck Lorre goes, you know, they're always doing alts. So they pitched an alt, the writer said,

pitch this alt and with the audience there and it's Friday and it's show time. And he goes, Justin, we're gonna do another take. We have a pitch for you at the end. Here's a button say, I can just show it to you if you want. And he goes, go. And I go, okay. And I go back to the scene.

I'm like, I'm trying to do the math. Like, how am I gonna say this to this person? I can just show it to you. I can show you my, it's like a crazy lies, you know? And so I'm stressing about it and I said to Ana, like, Ana, I don't know how I'm gonna do it. And she goes, I know, sometimes that happens,

you just have to make it work. And I went back to Chuck, I said, Chuck, I don't think I can say this. I don't know how my character would ever say, I haven't even, we haven't kissed or anything, I'm just gonna say, I can show it to you. That's crazy. And he goes, no, no, no, no, just it.

But it's also like, I'm like, this is Chuck Lorre. And who am I to be saying to him, like he's the master of this format. And he's like, just say it, just trust me. You know, whatever. So I go back out and I think, well, like you said, Gareth, it's not my show. I gotta just do it.

I gotta just say, so I just said the line, I can just show it to you if you want it. Big laugh. Yeah. Big laugh. I look over at Chuck Lorre and he goes. He gave you a thumbs up. I was right.

And I thought, I don't think I can do this. I think it's so, there's no, it's weird. It was weird. There was no like truth to it. I don't know. There's a lot of alt pitching that goes on. A lot of alt pitching. Which I like, I like Jake, we worked together.

I love the process, I love kind of making every, trying to make things work, but sometimes things to me just, I can't make it work. And you gotta just, yeah, just do it. If it's Chuck Lorre saying, you gotta do it. All right, let's get to the episode. Without further ado. That's it.

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Oh, hello. Hi, welcome to the show. Hi. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? Doing great today. Can we get your name, please? Yeah, my name is Rebecca. Rebecca.

And Rebecca, where are you calling from? I'm in London in the UK. Respect. Did you go to international school? No. Can we get your age, please? I'm 31. 31.

Okay. So, you're 31. Okay. So, you're 31. Okay. So, you're 31. Okay. So, you're 31. Okay. So, you're 31. I'm in London in the UK Respect did you go to international school? Can we get your age, please? I'm 31 31 what part of London north No, South. Oh right on Southie. Yeah, does that is that near the Cathedral on fourth? No, come on. It's happening

I mean your father your follow-up question, you know, was... makes no impact on you, north or south. You don't know. Okay, so Rebecca, South London, 31. What is it you do for work? I'm an actor. Oh, have you been in anything we would know? No, an unsuccessful actor. Do you Mainly voice work. Ooh, voice work. I can tell you got a beautiful voice. Do you like the theater? I do love the theater. Do you ever do theater, Jake?

You're not one of those actors who does... What have you done? It's always turned up. Have you done anything since you've been famous? No. No, okay. That's what I thought. You've abandoned the craft, haven't you?

Rebecca, this is about you. Gareth is mad at me. Gas leak. Gas leak. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that't you? Rebecca, this is about you. Gareth is mad at me. Gas leak. Gas leak? So, Rebecca, South London 31, an actor, into the theater. What can we do for you?

So, my uncle has been going bald for quite a long time, but he is clinging on for dear life. And he's, I sent in a photo, but he seems to have grown out the very back part of his hair somehow. First of all, before we see the photo, we'll hold on, quick pause. Jesse or Natalie, don't reveal the photo for a while.

We're gonna tease it a little bit, just for our sake. The clues so far are not great. the photo for a while, we're gonna tease it a little bit. Just for our sake. The clues so far are not great. So Rebecca, what are we calling uncle? If you say Jake, my friends are gonna be heard. All right. Let's call him John. John, and so John started balding and will you walk us through, will you paint the picture

to us of what he's doing to cover it? So, I think it's like close to the base of his head at the back, he had grown it long enough that he can stretch it from the back to the front. Oh no. Oh yeah. So he's trying to do a back to front comb over. Yes. And it comes together in a little point. Oh no. How old, by the way, it's so funny. 60s. Has to be 60s for this look. I think he's like 57, 58 maybe. John, that's too young.

Boy. Yeah. I like that we didn't do the reveal so far because hearing this- So Rebecca, he takes the back from the- he grows it long and he pushes it all forward. So he's kind of got that like- it's almost like the Jim Carrey haircut from Dumb and Dumber in the front. I was going to say kind of Oasis-ish. Yes, I was thinking Oasis too actually. But yeah, but kind of unbelievably gross because also he's, I don't know what he's using to stick it down,

but it makes it kind of hard looking and it's also badly dyed. So it's just all bad. So it's kind of a poorly dyed hair shell. Is this juggling Gareth? No, I mean, I would recommend some curling cream. By the way, if we got this guy to curl his hair, this is the funniest show I've ever done. Curling cream won't hurt.

So, Rebecca, what is John all about? What's his story? Why is he the kind of guy who's painting his hair backwards? What's happening here? This is crazy. Am I wrong? I think he's always been painting his hair. That's a title. Oh, fuck. What's happening here?

I think he's always been really attached to his hair. There are pictures of him with me when I was a baby and it was quite long and luscious. Oh no. Is he like a cool band guy? Is he like Uncle Jesse from Full House vibes? Did he have beautiful luscious

hair? Not quite. He was more of a kind of quiet hippie. Yeah, so, but his hair I think was his most proud feature about himself. Getting older is such a drag. It's the worst. There's, there are ways to like maintain the hippie. I agree.

With the ball, if anything, that aesthetic kind of lends itself to like, whatever, it's like, who cares? But he's grown into quite a quiet, awkward man who runs a business. He's changed since his long hair days. But he's attached to the hair. What kind of business? He runs a business, so he's got people working under him.

I hate this too because the people are definitely like, it's like a funny boss thing. The authority figure who does this is a hard authority figure. Yeah. Yeah. So he's got his own little business and married with kids. Where's John at at home?

He's married, no kids. Okay, but he's married. That's good. Yeah. Okay. Do you have any idea what his wife thinks of this? Well, it's the thing I've been most perplexed by I don't understand because what must it look like when he's in the shower? Norma like a normal bald guy

Yeah, but with really long at the back. Yeah. Yeah Like next to mine you say really long paint the picture here a little must be. I mean just the size of his head for it to stretch all the way. You're right, by the way. If it goes from the top of the neck. Stop edging me, I gotta see this guy. Hold on, not yet. If it goes from the top of the neck to the near eyebrows, that goes to the shoulders.

Yeah. When in the shower, he's got no hair on top and his hair is going to his shoulders. That's a spectacular image. I'm very curious about- Hey guys. Yeah. Do we wanna bring in our guest Justin?

So Rebecca, you got a special guest. He wasn't supposed to be on this call, but Justin Long is here. Justin, welcome to the show. You're on with Rebecca. Welcome back Long is here Justin welcome to the show you're on back back Oh, what am I back? I love this show so Rebecca will you Recap a little bit to Justin where we're at actually Rebecca meet Justin Justin meet Rebecca

She just watched the new girl episode with ginslinger. Oh, hey, Rebecca Hey Okay Hey, Rebecca. Hey. Okay. So I have an uncle. Great man, by the way. This is... Okay, hold on. Okay, okay, okay. Sorry.

Okay, go ahead, Rebecca. Okay. I have an uncle who's been balding for some time and he has got to the point where he's grown out just the very back of his hair that we think is maybe When it's down is down to his shoulders so that he can scrape it all the way forward Into a little point at the front of his head into a little point at the front of his head. And it seems to be down something. Now we have a picture, but we've been holding off to see it together.

No, I'm not seeing it either. That's why bringing you in on this one actually worked. Oh, I love you guys, thank you. So Rebecca, is there anything else? So now Justin did get the image right. I know you can't see the video, Rebecca, but he did his fingers pointing forward like a little drana. He dies in a tula.

Rebecca, can I ask you, how far down his forehead does it reach? Good question. Not that far down, but he does, I think he has a pretty big hair. Yeah. He's got it all. Will he be listening to this show?

Yeah. Oh my God, I hope not. I mean, he lives in China. I've never felt more like people were talking about me behind my back in my life. No! From across the world. From across the world. So now, Rebecca, when you say he dyes it, are we talking jet black?

What are we talking? It's gotta be. No, it's sort of like a chest, not brown. Oh, I see. Yeah. I like that. I noticed Mick Jagger's doing that. Some of the rock rock stars are doing that. It's not more brown Yeah closer to gray. It's a little bit. Yeah, because that jet black thing was insane

It was a 30 year jet black on all guys heads that looked Always and you spot it right away Greyish dying skin with jet black hair. You'd go like, what is this, my man? What's the goal here, friend? Who are you fooling? Nobody. It's just calling attention to this.

Yeah, is it? It's scaring me. Yeah, this is so youthful up here. Then you look down and the contrast is just wild. Well, the eyebrows, Rebecca, does he do his eyebrows good question no so that's just it's a train wreck yeah it's a train wreck okay so before we see the photo oh boy we got to know Rebecca what is your question? Well, my question is How do I encourage him to either embrace being bald or go for something else like a a hair piece?

Anything would be better than what he's got going on. So you love john Yeah, so he's your uncle you care about him And yeah, so we've obviously been having a laugh at john But let's be honest, we have a laugh at each other on this show a lot So we're laughing at john with a little bit of love, but the real call is, you don't think it's a great look for him. By the way, Justin, he's only 58.

58, okay. Well, if he would have listened to the last two minutes of this podcast, maybe it would help him, maybe in the way you want it. Yeah, shock therapy. Has anyone broached this with him has anyone attempted some question intervention I Don't think so like that That side of the family are very awkward. Yeah, very quiet. They don't they don't bring up anything like

Well, yeah, whatever you call it. And he is married. It all goes under the back of the hair that's connected. It all goes, they sweep it under the front combed hair. There's not even a name for it. There's a comb over, but what is that? They have it even, that's how rare it is. It's not been named.

And so Rebecca, before we see the photo and start pitching on it, what's your instinct? Because what's hard about this one is he's your uncle, he's not your husband, he is married, he does have his own business. This is a niece problem to an uncle, which is unique, but I understand where you're coming from. It's a wild look. You're not doing it because it's an embarrassment to you You're not doing it because it's hard for you. You like this guy. It's not a great look Colin Baldwin

It's not that big of a deal. So have you tried anything? Where have you been up to this point? Well, so he lives abroad and he only comes we only see him maybe twice a year Where does he live? We saw him he lives lives in China, so that's why I'm hoping he won't hear this. This is shocking. All of this is shocking. Yeah, he can get in China. But he's also, how do we know

it's not an okay look in China? I know it's not. Well, I mean, he's like the only white man around with very red hair. Right, which means he's getting looks. Yeah. Which means they, but all the way to the people in this Chinese town might think like this is how they do it. Right. This is how white people roll. And like us Chinese we're not insane when we go bald we go bald but I guess

English white guys when they go bald they do the weirdest thing. Could you imagine some Chinese kid telling his dad at home going like I saw this guy at work he pushes his hair forward and the dad goes in Chinese, no that's what you do They do the weirdest thing. Could you imagine some Chinese kid telling his dad at home, going like, I saw this guy at work. He pushes his hair forward and the dad goes in Chinese, no, that's how you do it in London. Well, he's also saying in Chinese, don't judge him. That's a different culture. That's how they do it.

You're laughing at him is rude. Because the way they do it there and they've done it for, and then they see like the old parliament with the wigs on there. Like they've always done weird stuff with hair. He's very sexy where he comes from. And then they see like Oasis like in there like they see the teeth and they go it's a weird culture so okay so this is interesting so that's

a huge turn Rebecca he's in China China yeah he's gonna be coming here in the summer okay and I know he still has the hair because he had a Zoom call with my mom recently and she was like, oh my God, he still has the hair. He still has the hair. Okay. Wow. And it's your mom's brother? Sorry, Rebecca, it's your mom's brother? Yes. Okay.

I'm wondering if me and mom maybe tag team or we go for the wife. Who the wife? Oh, I don't know. Oh, she has a wife. Yeah, the wife could be a good play too, figuring out what she thinks. But either way, I mean, you are talking about, this is just a mountain of a conversation.

Agreed. And so, Rebecca, when is he coming back in town? Just so we know. I believe June. June, okay. You might have to just jump off the ledge. You might have to just jump off the cliff and say, what's going on with the hair? I mean, we all, in a sensitive way, but you might have to just jump off the cliff and say, what's going on with the hair?

I mean, we all, I mean, in a sensitive way, but you might have to just- Let's do this really fast. Justin, will you be Rebecca? Rebecca, will you be Uncle John? Hello. Hello, Uncle John. Okay, sure. So try to do your uncle's best you can.

Justin, let's just hear what happens. Okay. John, hello. It's good to see you again. Oh, hi, Rebecca. Yeah, yeah, let's just hear what happens. Okay. John, hello. It's good to see you again. Oh, hi Rebecca, yeah, yeah, good to see you. John, how's life been? You know, China. Yes, of course.

John, this is maybe not my place to say, but have you ever thought about, because a friend of mine works at a salon, and they do incredible things now with hair, have you thought about changing your look at all? Because I've noticed you've had this one for quite some time. I don't know, that's not what I'm doing. Hold on, let's hear what John would say.

Okay, I'm curious what John's reaction is. By the way, it's heavy. It's heavy. Gareth, what are you thinking really fast? I have pitches that... The conversation is hard cold, but this is, I think, as good as it could be. Yes. And then, Rebecca,

what would you think John would say to that? You know him. He's your uncle. Is he cheeky? Yeah, but he's so awkward. This is the problem, he's your uncle. Is he cheeky? Yeah, but he's so awkward. Okay, I understand. This is the problem is he's super awkward and shy. But I think he might sort of awkwardly laugh it off, but I would be terrified that he'd then go away privately. All right, you know what we gotta do, Rebecca,

I think we need to see the photo. It's time. It's time. Yeah. It's time, because we can't get into the pictures without seeing the photo. It's time. Now, we tried the straight up conversation.

It might not be that bad. I think it's gonna be pretty bad. Oh, it's insane. It's totally insane. Yes, is it? Yeah, get closer. Okay, so now I'm seeing, so here's what he's doing. It's the hair from the back.

So the dye job is similar. It's not a bad color. The dye job's not an issue. But what he does is he pushes it from the back forward and then he really does matte it down. He mattes it. So it's as if he's wearing like a wrestler type helmet. And it has a baby rat tail up front.

Yeah. Yeah, it looks almost infantile. Like there's an infantile quality to it. It does look like little boy hair. Like little boy, like a little. It's bad. But I will say- It looks like someone sharpied it.

Yeah, but I will say it's not as bad as I thought. Oh, I think you're both wrong. Really? I think it's very bad. And I bet you being in person, you're like sweet mother of God. Maybe in person. If you look at it, it's like-

Oh, people stare. Oh, really? Okay, I understand.- Oh, people stare. Oh, really? Okay, not just the Chinese people. Oh, no, no. Can we see what? No, no, no. There are other English people who are like, lovely head of hair you've got.

So, Gareth, what's your pitch on this? Look, it's fucking hard. I think, we can't really pitch on what the conversation with his wife should be other than, do you like his hair? We think it might be good to change it, get her read on it. I do have a shock him into maybe some coherence pitch, which is, are you gonna be picking him up from the airport? I could.

I think you should. So he's a captive audience. And I would recommend you rent a convertible. Show up in a convertible. He can't wear a hat. And his hair is not going to be able to withstand the elements. By the way, you've nailed it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This could be tough. He just came from fucking China and now he's about to have his secret reveal. Go swimming! But or swimming's good too. You could do both. You could take the airport to the pool But if you have the convertible, it's all gonna get revealed and then maybe later that night

you could have a Easier conversation where you go, hey and the convertible your hair was kind of blowing everywhere All right, are you cut? You know, you could maybe grease the wheels a little. Let me pitch on your pitch. Yeah, go. I think you've actually, I was about to, Rebecca, I was about to say, I don't have a pitch on it. And I was about to say, I don't think it's as bad

as we think it is, let the man live in China. But I think Gareth might've just nailed this. I think what you've got to do is a really weird mission where you either convertible him, you leaf blow his hair, you throw a bucket of water on his head, and then the second that hair reveals the baldness, you go, whoa. And you go, whoa, you look, no, hold on.

You look great. And then he goes, believe it or not. You look great. Oh, that's right. And then he goes, believe it or not, I'm bald. What? And you go. You? Uncle John. And then you go,

I gotta say, John, you've got the face for it. Yeah. And he'll go, I'm insecure about it. I literally pulled it back to the front. What? And you go,

are you kidding me? Why? Never would I have guessed that. And then I go, I'm just telling you, I've always thought you've kind of had bad hair because the way it looks is it almost looks like it's been glued to your head. Careful with glue, but go ahead. But you bald, John, you look great. You look 10 years younger.

And he'll go, no. And I go, yeah. I'm telling you. Saying he looks younger is good. I get why nature did that to you. Yeah, but honestly- If nature chose you, Jon. You look good like this.

What about you, a lead into that, Jake, is to bring up like sexy bald guys. Like Bruce Willis. Also on your wall at home. Chase and Statham. At home, just have like handsome bald guys around. Well, we've gotta at home, at home, just have handsome bald guys around. Well, we've gotta be careful because it's her uncle. Set the stage.

We don't want it to be like, I'm trying to make my uncle attractive in my zone. Yeah, that's true. You're right. That's right. Now, let me, this guy reminds me of some relatives I know, so I'm worried for Rebecca about permanently, irreparably upsetting him. Yes.

Because it could go there and you don't want that. Is it worth that? And if his wife, I'm trying to think how my wife think, who's the kindest person I know, if his wife likes it and she doesn't have an issue with it and he seems to be- Don't pull the threads, Justin. I know, but like, do you just let it go?

Do you just, how offensive? Yes. This doesn't look that offensive. Okay, so here's where we're at, Rebecca, and then we're gonna go to you. We've got a, don't pull the threads, let it go. Uh-huh. We've got the mess with his hair, convertible,

bucket of water, anything you can do. We've got the, have images of bald guys around? Maybe, I've got another pitch. I got a pitch for you. Rebecca, you have a boyfriend? Yeah. Is he bald? No, unfortunately, I've never seen that.

How about this, how about this? Does John know your boyfriend? Yes. Damn it. I was going to say hire an actor who's bald with long in the back. Hire an actor. Convertibles cheaper than hiring a fake boyfriend for a week. This is his secondary pitch to Gareth. You could do the fake bee or insect by his head and Hey John, John! And just start swatting at it That's good and kind of mess up his hair as you're doing it. Yeah, like you're doing him a favor and then go like this

Wait a second. Are you bald? Yeah Get your hair and that's a lead-in to yours Jake. Yes. Well, look at me go John can I see something for a second? This is insane. Yeah, can I see something? So Rebecca? You gotta remember he wants to be free agreed. Yeah, he wants to is insane. Yeah, can I see something? So Rebecca, where are you at? You gotta remember, he wants to be free. Agreed, yeah. He wants to be free. You're totally right. So Rebecca, where are you at?

It's a kindness. Yes. I kinda like the idea of a combination of, cause I was thinking, when you were saying about the hair blowing thing, the one thing I could easily do is you can take like a little boat up the Thames, like it's like really,

it's just a cat like thing that everyone does for some reason and it is very windy on there And then there could also be a bee in case it's too glued down and the wind doesn't do anything That could be a bee back up. Yes, but you know plan B Rebecca would you actually do would you walk us through how you would do the bee back up on the boat? Yeah, I'll be John Quite windy out here. Yeah. Oh my god There's a bee. Hang on, hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't move, don't move, don't move, don't move.

I've got it, I've got it. Don't move, don't move, don't move. What are you doing, Jamiah? Don't move, don't move. I've got it, I've got it. It's gone, it's gone. Oh my God, oh my God. It's gone under your hair.

Wait, hold on, Rebecca, do that turn for me for a second. Again, I think there was something really good there. I agree. So here's what I actually, I really believe in my heart of heart now. Any way you can mess with his hair, but then shower this insecure king with compliments and let him know this madness that you are doing is over.

You are painting the hair. It's time to be free. And the only way an insecure king like this can go free is if a queen allows him out of his nightmarish castle. His dungeon. His dungeon. Yes. So can we, Rebecca.

He's the man in the iron hair. Title. He's the man in the iron hair. Ha ha ha, title. Can we... Can we... Pretend you just messed with Justin's hair, and then shower him with real compliments to see if maybe this could turn it. Okay.

What are you doing? I've got it. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, look, you're actually I didn't realize you were bald under there. But no, John, it looks really good. It looks like you suit it.

Your hair, you have the perfect head shape. Oh, bollocks. What are you talking about? No, really, I'm being fully honest. I've never seen you look more youthful than just then. You're teasing me, aren't you? No, I'm really not. I promise. You're having a go.

I love this movie. Keep going, please. What? Well, I've always been quite, I don't know, embarrassed by it. I don't want to go bald. No one wants to go bald. So I've just been combing it down like this. Yeah. No, I never really realized that that's what you were doing. But now that I see you without it, I think this is the way to go.

It's like it suits you. You seem more confident even, you know? I think this is a new you. It's a great performance. And Rebecca, you too. Yeah. This became a little one act that I would spend real money, I'd wear a scarf and I would go, I love the theater.

I really think this can work. And I think what you should do is, however you create this moment, it's just you and him. If you can peel it off just so it's you and him, so you can kind of create a small version of this. But I do think the way you're saying that. It's so good. I think it'll help him like see it.

I'll tell you what I would do if I were him. And I think Justin's performance was right. Rebecca, I think yours was right too. I think he's gonna, I think he's a little bit embarrassed by this. And I think he's looking for a way out. Yeah. And the way out is real compliments.

And guess what? When he stops painting it forward, and then he washes it, and he looks in the mirror, and he realizes it's really long in the back, and he trim washes it and he looks in the mirror and he realizes it's really long in the back and he trims it, he's gonna look just fine. Yeah. Yeah.

Rebecca, this is gonna work. Is there an adhesive? Is, does he mat it down with anything? Something going on. I'm sure. There has to be something in that, I don't know what it is. So Rebecca, are you actually going to do this? I am because I'm concerned about him. What are you gonna do? Are you gonna go, Tams? How are you actually going to do this? I am because I'm concerned about him. What are you gonna do?

Are you gonna go, Thames? How are you gonna do it? I'm gonna invite him out on Thames on a nice day. It gets hot in the summer. Great. And I'll be like, let's go up to Thames. Why don't you employ it? And then try and fit the bee thing.

Get your mother to do something with his wife that day too so that it's very clear that you're splintering off. Yeah. Yeah. And you don't just find, you don't want the mother and his wife involved. I'm not totally with Gareth in that it has to be a weird one-on-one.

I'm worried that it might transition into a weird territory. I agree. Maybe. Complimenting his looks. Well, oh, and then there's a bee on his head, taking him on the river, where he's like, what the fuck is going on here? I know, I just think the more, yeah, I mean, I get it. I agree, you don't want him embarrassed. Yeah, I would worry that,

like I think he's probably never heard this before. She then later could say, I think John should just shave his head, you know, like I saw him earlier, He's got a perfect head so there's safety in numbers too and if there was a kind of more of a Tidal wave of female opinions coming at him. Well, then I Would suggest then you maybe want to let I Don't know if you want to let the wife know but you know, you can't you can't you can't do it behind his back

This has to be just you Rebecca his hair is behind his back. Will you do this and follow up with us, please? Yeah, absolutely. I think the big one. I can't wait Rebecca. This is a I and it's sweet of you to be concerned Yes, but here here's the dream follow-up a Photo of him with his new look. Yeah flashing a smile and not afraid to show his face. We're hoping he leaves his wife after this. We're not, that isn't the goal. Well, I'm just trying to create space. Will he leave his wife?

That's the goal post you take an eye on. Oh my god, that'd be so tragic. She's put up with his weird hair for all these years and all of a sudden he gets a new Luke, a new confidence and leaves her. Sorry, darling. Sorry, darling, Sorry, darling. I just learned I'm a sex symbol and I've got to get out there.

He gets a job at a Chinese TV show. And then his wife calls into the show, I used to make my husband do this terrible look, but I kept him that way. Now he's banging everyone in China. Rebecca, follow up with us, us please we're getting off. All right cool. Thank you so much. Thank you Rebecca. Hello can we get your name please? Not here yet I was waiting for you guys. No, sorry, Natalie. Again, your fault, Natalie. Natalie! Natalie, highly inappropriate. You pranking Jake now, Natalie?

Natalie. Don't screw with the boss, Natalie. Thanks for calling me the boss. You're welcome. Are we really doing a countdown into the call? Natalie. Natalie. Action.

You know what? This might be the day we gotta give Natalie a nickname. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Your caller is here. This is not the time to give me a nickname. Hey, caller, really fast.

What can we call Natalie? She's been wild and giggly today. Oh. Natalie. Oh, right, okay. Oh. Really fast, you're on the spot. I don't know.

I'm, I'm. Natalie. Yeah, you guys are really throwing me in. Yeah, you're on the spot. I don't know. Natty Light? I'm... Natty Light. Yeah, you guys are really throwing me in. Yeah, you're in the fire. Nat. Nat. Natalie, what?

Yeah, the first thing that came to my mind was Nat Attack. Nat Attack! Nat Attack is great. Ooh, Nat Attack is good. You killed it. And it's got attacked. She has it been attacked today. Nat Attack. Nat Attack. So by the way, I think that attack the phone call with the long pause was a nat attack.

That was a countdown. Three, two, one, action. Not attack. Not attack. Okay. Can we get your name? Nat's attack. Yeah. Yeah, my name. Okay, can we get your name please? When that's a tack. Yeah.

Yeah, my name. Yes. My name is Kate. Kate, and where are you calling from, Kate? I'm calling from Ontario, Canada. Ah, Canada. And how old are you, Kate? I'm 27.

And I think you've just created a nickname that's gonna stick for us for a while so we appreciate you Justin long is on the call with us who you know we know he's a friend of the show damnit He's fucking ginslinger in my eyes, and he's a very good pickleball player As are you Jake thanks. Do you play Kate are you a fan? I? Double with some pickleball. I dink here and there. Yeah, okay. So Justin and I played with some ladies

and they were talking a lot of trash to us and they were older. They were. And it was hilarious. The one lady was very good, she was older and she was not nice about women. Kate. She was slamming it at Jake.

She was really aggro. They were in their 70s. Knowing Jake, I'm sure he was fine about all that and didn't think about it on the drive home. He was so fine. They liked him. He charmed them by the end. He got a smile out of him.

I was getting heated. Kate, Canada 27, created an ad attack. We appreciate you. What can we do for you today? Yeah, so I have a question for you guys. I am I Work as a therapist and I practice sex therapy as part of my business Wow Yeah, so about a year ago I subscribe for this program that sends free samples and like little testers of products for healthcare professionals. So we can give them out to our patients, kind of trick them out of that kind of thing.

So I had this one company send me a box with a couple of bottles of this really nice lube and a bunch of little samples to give out. And for the next year, every couple of months, they'd send me another box and another box. And I just kept getting these endless amounts of lube for about a year until I finally figured out how to cancel my subscription. And then you got a new boyfriend and he asked what was up.

Yeah, he's like, he's like, why the lube? He's getting a little weird, yeah. You have so much lube. So much lube. And he asked what was up So much lube So much lube and like as I'm saying this out loud I realize this is kind of an awesome problem to be having But I hit this point. It's gotten it's gotten a little excessive like I get it I have gifted so much lube to my friends. I'm like the Oprah Winfrey of lube Have a little all in my closet. It's like too much lube.

No, by the way. Jake, do you just want to give her your address so we can get off the call? Yeah, I'm happy to mail it. I really don't want to. This is the good guy's ****. This is a joke. I'll pay for shipping. I'll pay for shipping.

This is a joke. This is insulting. I'll take literally all of it I like to do jiu-jitsu with it When I was chesil my dummy I like to cover as both with love so Okay, the question you got too much lube. I have too much lube. I have way too much lube So you were giving it out to your patients? And friends. She was just like going out to dinner

and being like, hey, you want some lube? Stocking stuffers. Yeah, tipping the waiter with lube. Literally anybody that wanted it, I had it as like house favors when people would come over. I get it. Valets. Yeah.

Yeah. Keep it up front. So what is the, I get the setup. What is the question? Yeah, so the question is, I wanna find a way to creatively use all of this lube or just get rid of it. I'm not really sure.

Garrett's hair. What? Garrett needs it all. Let me ask you this. For one curly. Does it dry? Does it get mad? Oh, okay. You want to send it to China? Yeah Guy All right, Kate, so the question is is what the hell do you do with all this lube? Yeah

wait Jake I wonder if you and Gareth want to give it out as What the hell do you do with all this lube? Yeah, in a nutshell. Jake, I wonder if you and Gareth want to give it out as, you know, for your show, to promote the show. I think that's... Interesting. Not a bad idea at all. To callers, you could put it in... We're here to grease. We're here to grease like a...

We get out of my chute lube. We get out of my chute lube. Okay, so that's an option. This call is just just simple we just get all the little we could also I mean just off of that We could stop come on be a lube uncle being weird Problem is I have a bunch of Daughters goes like, hey dad, why do you have so much of this weird stuff? And I go like, well, a few years ago, I was doing this podcast.

We could try to give it away. We could find someone in our listening audience who wants all this lube. Yes. I mean, surely there's someone who needs that much lube. So, there is one, okay, two quick things, but I don't think we go this direction. Okay. But in terms of that, Justin, we're in the middle of another prank thing that we're doing

to our friend Steve Berg. Jesus Christ. Jake, yes. Where are we? We call that so, Justin. I'll send it to him. So the other idea is he gets a box with all the loom. It's great.

We had this teacher in Switzerland send, it's a long story. She was originally gonna send a taxidermied rat. The rat decomposed, but still to salvage the prank, we had her send a bunch of Swiss chocolate and the kids in her class drew pictures of Steve and put them in the box and we just sent it with no heads up. So he doesn't know it actually is arriving literally today. So we have we're priming in that direction.

So Kate question how much lube is too much lube? That's a great question Well, a lot of it didn't like these little one-time use packets. So I don't know like if I were to pour them all out You're definitely not Okay, so the so little packets it's like the one-time the little packets. Probably like a couple hundred little packets. Okay, so the little packets, it's like the one time use little packets. And so it's really just one big box. Yeah, it's a couple of boxes.

I've also got bottles too. So like the packet down the bottle. So how many boxes, I'm trying to get a visual here. How many different boxes of lube do you have? Not the little packets. I think I have about four at this point. Four, and each one has what, about a thousand little packets? Probably about that, yeah.

So we're talking about 4,000 little packets of lube. Yeah, give or take. Look at us figuring that out pretty fast. Yeah. Oh, quick math. How do you- Thanks, got a tap. You have been giving them to your clients, Look at us figuring that out pretty fast You have been giving them to your clients your your patients Yeah, I've been giving them to just about anybody I am I got to the point where like Halloween rolled around and I was gonna put It outside, you know

By the way, not a good idea You're totally right. What are you talking about? I made a mistake. I thought Halloween was for adults. It's a big mistake. All of a sudden you thought Halloween. Jake's going door to door. Cigarettes. Loops.

Skittles. Brass knuckles. Snickers. Charles and Chew. Four000 little packets of lube. If one of my kids emptied out, I would go to the person's house and kill them. Yeah, absolutely. I would go to what'd you get? I got a full size Snickers. And then that guy down the street gave me like eight packets of lubricant. I would go like, I'm going to go murder this person. So, Kate, have you ever considered having a little party with your friends and the theme of the party is lube?

I'm so glad you mentioned that. That actually was one of my ideas, and I thought about a lube swiping spot, but I thought that might be a little bit too far. No. I mean, it depends what you like to do, but that is definitely a way to get rid of all of the lube. It's an option, yeah. I mean, you could do a little pool.

Or like a wrestling. Yeah, you could do a little pool for wrestling. I mean, it depends how weird you want your backyard to get. There is also the option of sending it to Berg. Right. So, are you planning just to follow up on the Berg thing? Are you planning on, is he gonna call, is he gonna, how are you gonna get this on the podcast?

So really quick, but now unfortunately this is becoming another Berg one. I mean, it just, look, and we can't lean into it too much, but this one agreed. Okay, so So this might be hey not attack Hey, I don't accept this next thing Ow! Yeah. That's classic Nat Attack. That's such a Nat Attack. I'm so sorry.

You attacked. Yeah, you look out. You attacked the Nat Attack. Yeah. So Nat Attack, what is your gut feeling? Should we push with the Steve thing here, or should this be a Justin only episode? Yes, I would like for her to send it to Steve. And I love that she's in Canada.

It's just all these international packages arrive. So then let's in Canada. It's just all these international packages arrive. Let's do this. Kate, are you willing if we get you the address and we pay for shipping, will you send all the lube to Steve? Or do you want another pitch? I mean, I can send it all to him. I can wrap it up really nice. I can make it super weird. Then can we write a letter in there from Canada that's about you being, cause he's got a podcast called High Strangeness

that we have to make a mystery of how you found him and that you're sending him all this lube. Hey, I like it. I would. Is this like an ominous vibe? Are we trying to get him to feel like this lube is we'd like coming from a secret First yeah, we like him can feel I would say if he wanted to do something along the lines like hey Heard your podcast. I think this will solve your problem with Bigfoot winky or something like that

Because his podcast is all about like Bigfoot and UFOs just to let you know. Yeah. So that's, yeah, but you're trying to help him. Yeah. Yeah, like. With a loon. Yeah. Kate, really fast to you. Yeah.

You've heard the show, right? You remember Steve. He's the guy who burned the rotisserie chicken. Yeah, during a call. He was giving someone advice. Oh yeah, I want to know her. You know Steve. What do you think the letter should be? Oh, that's a someone advice. You know Steve, what do you think the letter should be?

Oh, that's a good question. You created an ad attack, you're on fire. I want him to be suspicious. Yes. Love that. I want him to be like, who the fuck is sending me this much lube? I want him to be a little scared.

So do this for a second. Will you just start dictating what you want this letter to be? Kate, go ahead, Justin. Can I have a pitch? What if it's something you construct a scenario where he has inadvertently, or somebody has signed him up

for like the lube of the month club. And so you do this, it's a long-term bid. I mean, it's gotta be like a patient long-term. So every month or every couple of weeks, you send them more of the lube. You don't do it all at once. I like that in terms of the long-term thing. What I really wanna do is get to the ending though,

which we might not get to for a while. Yeah. Because I kind of, I want him to react to all this because he's so funny, his reaction. To Justin's pitch, the frustration he's going to go through trying to figure out how to stop Lube getting to his house. And he'll talk about it on the podcast probably, I can get more of this Lube. And that'll be funny to just play, you can play those clips on your show.

Or, I mean, we could make it seem like, hold on, we could make it seem like a sponsor of his show that he's not agreed to. Yeah. And just be like, put the ad read in. Come on. I'm proud to be sponsored, like a new sponsor of your show. Oh, by the way, that's a great idea, actually. But why don't we, let's not do the month to month and here's why.

It's, even though it's the right idea, Justin, just to pitch on this. So somehow to tie this back to the premise of our show, we are here to help Kate get rid of the lube. Kate, are you interested in this idea or should we go back? You are the caller, we're getting obsessed with Steve, it's very clear. Gareth and I have been obsessed with this guy for 20 years.

There's nothing new for us. Just to defend us very quickly, Jake, Steve in this position, in this role, is the best version. I agree. And so it will come back to our show. We are gonna do an episode where it all comes out. Kate, is that something you're interested 100% in doing with getting rid of your lube?

You called in because you have too much lube. We have a way to get rid of the lube. Or would you like to hear pitches of a lube-themed party, of a wrestling match, very much old school in the back, in that basement there with blue? We can do a slip and slide. We could do other fun ways to get rid of it. Where are you at?

Kate, creator of Nat Attack. Nat Attack, that's gonna stick forever. She loves it. Kate, creator of Nat Attack. Nat Attack, that's gonna stick forever. She loves it. Kate, the floor is yours. Okay, I do like the idea of sending it to Steve. I'm curious about the lube party because I feel like you guys had some stuff on deck there. Yep.

But you got me like 90% sold on the first one. A lube party I would do pretty easily. I would invite everybody in your world over to your house. I'd host a party. And one of the things, everything is lube themed. Everybody has to have slicked back hair. You have a little fan at the beginning where you put lube in it.

So when people come in, you lube their face a little bit so everybody's glistening. The music is very like, you know, it feels like the 1980s that is like that, like you're in like a light blue vibe There's neon lights. Like a volcano lamp. Yes, like you're in a volcano lamp lava lamp. That's exactly right And then when people leave they have to leave with a jar of lube or ten packets of lube and all night You're also doing games to give away lube. So like first person on the dance floor gets 50

packets of lube I think what you could do is you could theme the party and again this pains me to pitch in a direction I know but we have to I'm trying what you could do is this event the idea of this event is you have all this lube and you want to have no lube by the end of the day. Yes. And so you can have like a contest of creativity over who can be the most creative with some lube. You can have an auctioneer. People could like do things for lube like, I'm selling 50-do bag of the lube. 50-do bag of the lube.

The first person who eats nine pickles. First person who eats nine pickles gets 50-do bag of the lube. I don't know how much we want to populate the lube party with pickles because there probably will be alcohol. It'll turn sexual, you think? It's a, it's a lubery slope. It's, it's already lubed up for a sexual party. Absolutely.

What about a twister, a lubed up twister? Fun. You could even, if you wanted, on the slip and slide, you could do a lube luge. And you could get like a little, in Canada, believe you all have to there's a government mandated sled You could put the sled on the slip and slide and do the lube luge You know what you could also do you could lube up all your holes and fuck each other easy Use it for sex No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I literally look at it. I have a more innocent pitch for a game on the slip and slide where you do rate,

you put on diapers, you put on adult diapers and you do races. And you said innocent? Yeah, well, the diapers. I thought you meant in a different way. It's a different way. They go back to being babies. Yeah, it's a baby, it's like a baby.

You're like a baby, you put padding in your diaper and you have to have races on the loop slip and slide. That's fun. That might be fun. It's okay. Also fun. It's okay, we have a couple of options. What would you like to do? Okay, I'm kind of, don't hate me for this,

I'm kind of loving the idea of the loop party. Great, we're doing a loop party. Now wait. We switched. Okay, we have switched. May I pitch? One box goes to I pitch one box goes to Steve one box Just a Steve. Yes, that's a deal. I'm willing to make Okay, and can I also ask for some content that you film the lube party? Yes, it's not sexual Yeah, and then send us all one of the lubes to watch the lube party

Gareth I'll just touch his hair before I'll have a lube for a month. Buddy, all it's gonna do is curl your member. Stop. You sound crazy. My dick turns into a curly frack. It's a pig tail. Sadly it already is. Oh my god, it feels sick. Gross. So Kate, tell us what you're going to do at this party. Oh, I like the idea of everybody being greased up. I think it's hilarious. Same. Just the wrestling in the candy pool.

Same. I like the lube luge. I feel like that could be dangerous, but like super fun at the same time. Yeah. You haven't mentioned how much you love the baby races, Kate. I do love the baby races. Okay. The diapers are a nice touch. You didn't bring it up out of nowhere just for the record.

That's gold. It did come up. I wasn't prompted. So Kate, are you actually gonna have this party? I will, I will have the party. I feel like the harder part will be getting my friends on board, but I think I can swing it

And so they can work with me, too Will you follow up with us then about everything that happened with the party? Maybe send some photos if you can Then then we'll have you on and we'll hear about the party Absolutely, and then we will so yeah, we're gonna give you Berg's address Put in there. I think the I think the strongest version is hey heard the podcast We're excited to be on board. Just talk about it in your regular day life. That's what we want No, Gareth. No, come on. No, what do you want it to say? I wanted to say I like that pitch Thank you. I can't we cannot let Steve get ahead of this

Okay, so I I like but it's fine. I like where you're going. I'm where I would go more is Kate I would write something a little cryptic and a little bit spooky Okay, and I would like you to do it and not tell us what's in the letter. Okay. I would like you to, before you send it, just send us a photo of the letter you wrote and the package that's going out and that's it. And we will be surprised when he is.

Kind of like less is more, right? Like something like, and not this, but something like, been listening to your show for a long time and I'm pretty sure this is gonna help you a lot or something like that. Yeah, but take away, I've been listening to your show for a long time, and I'm pretty sure this is gonna help you a lot. Or something like that. Yeah, but take away, I've been listening to your show for a long time.

And just, I'm pretty sure this is gonna help you a lot. Yeah, it's great. And I will say, This is gonna help in your life. I will say, I was nervous. You couldn't send Lube from Canada to America. You can. So, just if anyone out there is not saying.

Yeah, so everyone calm down. So, Kate, calm down. So Kate, will you follow up with us? We will get you, you know, we'll do, we'll, we will figure all this out. We'll pay for the shipping. We'll do all this. We just did that before.

We sent merch instead, cause that's what they wanted. So you'll have a goddamn option, Kate. Kate, this has nothing to do with lube. So you might not be interested in it, but would you like to see my pets all kind of like sleeping near me? Yeah. Absolutely.

Okay, so here we go. We got, there's me. Oh my god. There's, look at that one. It's Rue. Yeah, now there is something I need to tell you, Justin. It's beauty, yeah. She doesn't have a video component.

Jake. Thank you so much for the call, Kate. Thanks, Kate. Bye, she doesn't have a video component Hello, my name is Victoria. I am roughly 28 years old and 11 months roughly and I just started listening in from Dallas, Texas. About three weeks ago, one of my best friends sent over an episode with Justin Long because she knows I am a big fan of the Gens. You know, blast from the past, how is that ass?

And I just feel like I am one of your friends. I am here for the conversation. Honestly, sometimes I chime in out loud while I'm at work and listening to the podcast, just because, you know, we're trying to solve problems here. I think the Justin Long episode was such a good introductory episode for anyone that's wanting to get involved because the way Justin gets involved in y'all's conversations it seems natural so for me as a listener it was a lot easier to just kind of get eased into it. What I am disappointed in

is as soon as I started listening Pigli and Mo were killed off before I even got to meet them so every time y'all mention Pigli and Mo y'all say no they're dead so maybe an immemorial episode where you do a flashback just so I could get acquainted, understand the world a little bit more. Just, yeah, I just need a quick little taste. And that way the people who are not fans don't have to listen. But then, I don't know. I don't know. Take it where you need to take it. I'm a big fan fan guys. Love you guys. Bye We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds

If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com And if you want to watch video episodes of we're here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing the cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strlecki, and if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentoldes.com. Remember all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod.

Hey there, we're here does that's the new name we have for you. This is Gareth. Just reminding you if you have not checked out my new podcast. Next we have also a headgun production. Please do that. It is a show that just has a lot of good quick-hitting segments that are funny The show is just silly goofy. It's a good time. I think people will like it That's why it was named Time magazine's podcast of the year. That's a lie. Don't look it up But you know listen, we're here to help the best. So if you like this show I think you might like my new podcast called next we have please give it a listen

And if you like it, you know do all that stuff you got to do with podcasts. Appreciate it