We're Here to Help - 19: The T-Shirt in the Pool Club

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about an embarrassing butt dial and an interesting morning routine.  Check out our We’re Here to Help hats at heretohelppod.com! Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]. If you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts. Follow the show on Instagram @HereToHelpPod and TikTok also at @HereToHelpPod See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

all right and welcome to a new episode any idea what number we're at here, Jake, of Here to Help? 21. That's pretty good. Is that correct, Kevin? 19. Oh, is that it? Okay. Okay, 19.

That's still pretty good. Yeah. We, yeah, here we go. We got a follow-up. We're back again. Yeah, we've got a couple great calls. We actually have, people might have seen that we had an article in the New York Times sort of about the show,

about the genesis of the show and our friendship. And we actually had the reporter sit in, Melina Delczyk. She sat in for a couple of the calls on that day. And we have a couple of calls from that session today. Now, what I want to say about that, which is really cool, and I appreciate Melina, is that she just emailed the show directly and said she wanted to do a story

on it. And then we asked her if she would come on the show and she did. So Melina, we appreciate you reaching out and you joining us. You made the show more fun. So thank you. Yes. And if you haven't seen that article, you can go to, you know, there's a, there's social media for the podcast. You can go find all that stuff. what is our social media for the podcast really fast gareth what's our hand here to you just if you look up here to help you're gonna find it uh that's here to help pod you're gonna find it for sure something like that kevin we don't need to get what is our uh instagram handle do you remember here to help pod on instagram and tiktok whoa that's pretty close to what i said here to help pod instagram and tiktok yeah which also reminds

me jake we have merch we've been rocking the hats the here to help pod Instagram and tick tock. Yeah. Which also reminds me, Jake, we have merch. We've been rocking the hats, the here to help hats. If you want any of that stuff, if you want to support the show, go to here to help pod dot com for for hats and that stuff. And also continue to share. We appreciate it. We'll shut up about that, but it's really helpful. But now on to the show where we have uh a couple very you know as always some bizarre problems uh we're we're trying to solve and it's no stretch to say you're gonna enjoy this episode

okay jake you're not uh let's okay let's get out of the intro my guy i agree but hurry i agree bud hello hi there welcome uh welcome to the podcast we're here to help you're on with jake and gareth um can i get your name and your age and you can use a pseudonym if you want to. Sure. My name's Margo. I'm 33. Margo. And I'm calling from Texas. Texas. Nice. Love it. You're on. And we're not going to lie. We also do have a special guest. We have Melina Delkic from the New York Times. So we might go to her if we need some extra help. So why don't you start great margo we're trying to class it up we're trying to get a little bit smarter over here yeah we're trying to take this to another level that's why all right margo take us away what do we got okay so i have

quite the um moral predicament i feel my boss janine and her husband, Jeff, own where I work, and without giving too many details, and they went on a European vacation for about three weeks. They just got back and are now both sick with COVID. But Janine, I really deal with most of the time, Jeff is like, semi retired. And so she called in on a client call with me and another person. And it was an okay call, but she called me back afterwards and we kind of regrouped on it. And nothing was said that was really, nothing was new that I said on the call that was just with me and Janine. It was just kind of regurgitating the same stuff that was spoken about on the client call. But then she pocket dialed me back and I heard her bitching about me to Jeff, her husband, basically saying, you know, like mocking me where one of the things that I said, I was like, yeah, you know, like with you out and another one of the team members out, like, you know, it's just a lot going on. I'm a little spread thin, you know, Another one of the team members out like, you know, it's just a lot going on.

I'm a little spread thin. I heard her mocking me and was like, I'm so spread thin. Like, total, like, baby mocking voice. And Jeff was like, that's ridiculous. That is, I mean, unbelievable. You need to confront her. I mean, what a brat. That is just unbelievable.

Meanwhile, I'm the one that's holding up the whole thing while she's off. Hold on, Margo. Margo, I don't want to hear. I'm holding up the whole thing, you little baby. Sorry. Sorry. I'm on team Janine right now. I'm on team Janine. I'm holding up the whole thing. Give her a binky, Garf. Am I out of line here? Yeah, absolutely out of line, Jake, as usual. So then keep us in it, Margo. So you're here, the pocket dial. Janine is mocking you. Jeff's getting furious about it. And then what happens?

So I could stand it only for about like 40 seconds and I hung up and I was just like shaking. Obviously did not know what to do. This was weeks ago, weeks ago at this point. I still have not seen Janine in person. What? She was in Europe for ages. Okay. And so I, I'm torn because obviously like we've all vented, we all vent all the time. And sometimes it's a little bit more aggressive and aggravated than really it might be. Like maybe she was just blowing off steam and obviously I wasn't supposed to hear it.

But at the same time, I feel like, what the hell, man? If you don't really like me or like what I do for this company, we need to have a conversation. And I'm going to peace out. We got to make some other plans. So I'm torn between do I bring this up with her in that kind of transparent way? And I would say, well, I thought we had a fairly decent rapport. Um, you know, she's invited to my wedding. Like I thought we were, Oh, you guys are straight up friends. Yeah. We're straight up pals.

Well, let me just, let me just start by saying this is a tough one. Yeah. Hearing somebody butt dial you and do a baby voice of you is hard to get past. It's not ideal. It's not ideal. Here's my worst pitch. You want that first? Should we start at the bottom? Go to the top? I think so.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm pitching a pocket dial back. Fire the exact same shot across the bow. A pocket dial where you're talking to someone about the pocket dial. It's maybe a little meta. Walk us through that. Okay.

Here's what you do. You dial Janine. You put the phone down. And I'm going to be Janine, so I'll answer. Okay, great. Okay. Okay. Ring.

Ring. Oh, hey, Margo. It's Janine. I don't know. I'm just like, I am trying to find another job just because when i heard janine say to jeff that i'm like a baby and then jeff exploded like i love him but i i just really don't understand what i'm supposed to do you know it's just oh oh god oh my god hello no no all that was great till the end all that was no no no yeah i got off the rails the end got

the laugh but i gotta say i thought you were dog, and I wanted to do that setup to bust you. I still think I'm dog shit. No, I think that's a big win, Fat Aaron Paul. Come on. Stop calling me that. We don't know what this is. Gareth, I was being too sweet, and we both know it. So here's Margo.

I think what Fat Aaron Paul was saying was saying was it's not a great thing to keep hearing but go ahead bud you're the one who told me that i never it was a mistake it was a big mistake um so i think this is a really interesting margo it just takes really big commitment. But if you can fake butt dial them, repeat what they said, and then make fun of back and then hang up. Now you're even you know, everybody says an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. But it's also revenge. Am I right? Also a fair society. It's also a fair society. So you're now saying you put this poison in my lap i'm dropping it back off in yours let's see where we're at yeah that's your that's your wild card option now when you're wild but more but garth garth before you go to something new when we say that margo what's your first instinct

when you hear that there's no way i could act like i could actually do that there's no way it feels like a pass yeah no i couldn't well hold on hold on but let's hear margo can because when you did janine's voice of you it was pretty good can i hear your version of the call margo the best you can you can? Jake, will you reprise Janine? Yeah, I'll be Janine. And Margo, I want you to try. Don't try to be funny. Try to actually butt dial and talk a little shit back, OK?

OK, OK. Hey, this is Janine. Yeah. And so, you know, I just don't I just don't know. I mean, like, I'm really looking at my other options because after I heard what I heard on the butt dial, you know, I just think if I'm such a baby and such a brat, then maybe it's time to cut ties, you know, and whatever I've done enough for this place. I got to move on.

Then you hang up. Then move. Yeah. And then just click. Hold on. That's scary. That's scary to do though. Okay. Well, what, what, what, let me ask you this. What's scarier? Is it scarier to do that or is it scarier to have the, hey, Janine, I know you, I heard what you did. But what's the win of that?

She's going to go like this, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. Yes, you did, motherfucker, you said it. Here's the issue with my idea. It's that if, A, she might not understand what's happening, and if she doesn't know about the previous butt dial, then it feels like a kind of, then it sort of removes the status that you have of like, you kind of fucked me over a little bit.

It kind of removes that. So the other option is obviously just ignoring it, which you've been doing and has been driving you crazy, or saying to her. Yeah, ignoring it's not going to work. You're eating poison. Eventually it's going to kill you. Yeah.

The third, so it's either the wild crazy card is the pocket dial, two is the ignore, and three, which isn't funny or fun, is the confrontation. Is the confrontation. I mean, we've all seen the show. We've all seen the show Cheaters, right? At a certain point.

It's the Joey Greco moment. Greco's got to go there and say to the cheater, we see you in this Bennigan's, why'd you do it and it's ugly and there's yeah we illegally put cameras in your living room we filmed you having you fornicate by the way how have they not gone i don't know that is a lawsuit waiting that is a real real talk on the side joey greco was stabbed on that show and hit with with a flaming torch. Yeah, that's a gig. So the third one is to bring it up. Where are you at with that, Margo? I feel like so much time has passed, but like,

obviously I don't want to add more fuel to the I'm a brat situation and call her on vacation. I didn't want to call her on vacation and be like, hey, let me ruin your vacation some more. So that's why I didn't do anything. And I've just been kind of what she said. It's like, you know, you could do the version. And again, this kind of,

it takes maybe some of the teeth out of it of like, Hey, something's been bothering me. And it's that you butt dialed me. And when you did, what you said was that you felt like maybe I was complaining. Even in this example, what Jeff is going to say is, well, you put that in to hurt my feelings and do you value me? Maybe, but think about it.

If I'm Jeff and Janine, I put a fucking bottle right in your mouth and I change your diaper, you little baby. Okay. It's just more proof that margo's a little baby well but i mean she has a leg to stand on here i mean they call they they the butt dial bitch is a very is what it is now i i wonder also if you can um i don't want to say like look for another job but if you have some idea of like something else in your back pocket, that may be, I mean, that's a crazy idea. Go find another job. I honestly, here's, I'm not saying you do it. This is what I would do. I don't care about the baby rhetoric.

I would just say to her, this has been bothering me. This has been eating me up. I heard you and I didn't like it and I'm having a lot of trouble shaking it. I can work around it. Do you really feel that way about me? Because if you do, I would rather talk about it than just kind of let it eat at me. So Margo, here's where we're at. You got a pocket dial, which I still think is really smart. You got an ignore it, which is probably what I would do. You got to bring it up and have the confrontation, which is what the Garf wants to do. What do you think you're going to do? Probably, in my heart of hearts, probably confront her and just kind of do what Garf was saying of like,

yeah, I can't unhear what I heard. Sorry. You're combining Garf and Garrett. It's okay. Margo, you said it right. It's either Garf or Fat Aaron Paul. As long as it's not Fat Aaron. Nope.

So I will say this, Margo. I think the confrontation is bold. We wish you luck. It's either go for fat Aaron Paul. As long as it's not fat Aaron. Nope. So I will say this, Margo. I think the confrontation is bold. We wish you luck. It's not going to be an easy one. Let us know. Let us know how this goes. I would be very curious to see how this wraps up. And good luck to you from Jake Johnson and the fattest Aaron Paul in the nation.

All the best to you. There's fatter Aaron Paul. Thank you. Thanks, Margo. That's a shame that he ended it like that for everybody. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Today's episode is brought to you by

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Now, listen, listen, everybody. Should we bring him in? Wait, one quick pause. Should we bring in the closing? Studies from Yale, this is interesting, Michigan State University and others prove that Babbel is better. So one study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college.

So if that's true, which Yale's no joke, it's just putting schooling in a different light. Yes. If you spend 15 hours, let's say you didn't go to college, and you always feel like, well, I don't know. I didn't go to college. 15 hours, you just did a semester. Yeah.

That's wild. Yes. That's a wild study. So speaking of language, should we bring in the closer or should I do it? Closer. All right. Hold on. Let's get him.

Kevin. Door's open. Oh, you meant Gil. I meant Kevin. I thought Kevin was going to do it. No, I thought we were talking about the closer. We were. He parked in front of all our cars, so might as well.

We can't leave. Well, what's the problem? Go ahead. So that old jalopy is Gil's? Yes. And you can turn it off, I guess. Nah, keep it running. It's bad for something. A lot of smoke. I'm pausing a serious XM.

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Get 55 percent off Babbel.com slash HTH. Spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash H-T-H. We're going to want you to Babbel. We want you to Babbel. I'll tell you what, I don't want to Babbel your ear off. I've got to go back to the jalopy. Rules and restrictions.

I am fine. This episode is brought to you by ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Garth, what does that mean to you? Well, it means a lot because as you know, my mother was in town for a while. She had a hip replacement and it was crazy. It was a crazy situation. And there were so many times, so many things like complications were popping up and there were multiple times where we wanted to find a doctor appointment quickly somewhere close you use that doc yeah you would use that doc because it's just so much harder if you're

just like you know like using search engines to try to find someone and then you call do they take your insurance the problem has it's all there for all the problem with also just searching it is all the ads pop up yes and what i like i actually use zocdoc we since we started doing it i do like that it keeps it really clean and you can put all your information in yeah did you use zocdoc for your knee i did use zocdoc for my knee which i am going to get an mri on but we don't think it's a tear that's the good news which I am going to get an MRI on. But we don't think it's a tear. That's the good news. But I am going to get an MRI. The doctor report back, it's just an old man's knee. It's actually pretty much what it sounded like. That's what a doctor said to me about my hips.

I'm getting to the point where it's sad when doctors are just like, yeah, you're just the... He goes, I've had a doctor who looked at my body and then went like this. Well, you're mid-40s, yeah? Ugh, what a jerk. Well, that guy's hopefully not on ZocDoc. But again, it really does. It filters specifically for doctors that take your insurance located near you.

Treat basically, and again, you can get an appointment quickly. You can also get it same day. That's absolutely right, Jake, if you're lucky. That's right. Gil Buchanan, 1s and 2s, 68 Balmy. Don't worry about it. That's right. I've been kept in the closet for a while on this show, but I'm back for the ads. Good to see you, brother. You would get a brother. You literally never left.

Wherever the best time in the world, go to ZocDoc.com slash HTH and download the ZocDoc app for free. Did you hear how much that costs? Free. Free. That's right. And then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash H-T-H. ZocDoc.com slash H-T-H. Hello?

Hi. How's it going? Welcome to... Hi. Welcome to We're Here to Help. You're with Jake and Gareth. We're going to help you. That's going to happen.

And Gareth, a special guest. You want to bring in our special guest? All right, go ahead. So from the New York Times, we have Malina Delchek. I screwed up the name. I screwed up the name. You were close. You say it.

You say it. Delchek. Welcome to the podcast. Okay, so now we're back in, Garth. Okay, so can we get your name or your in garfield okay so can we get uh your name or your pseudonym and can we get your age yes my name is jamie and i'm 32 great start and uh what can we help you with today what are we trying to help all right so i've got a big problem with my marriage that i need help with okay uh so we've been married for eight years, and we just had our first baby, six months old.

Congrats. So I'm a big, big mom. Am I the only one? Big congrats. That's huge. Jake, you're... I'm waiting to hear what's going on. Thank you.

I'm waiting to hear what's going on. The miracle of life is going on. Sorry. There's a lot of miracles. We got hundreds of millions of miracles every day. Let's hear what's happening here, Jake. Jamie, my hat's off to you. Well done.

Jake, a little more callous, but continue, please. Thank you. No, I think mine's the best miracle. But anyway. There we go. Literally, everybody says that. Literally, everybody says that. Jake, I think it's time.

Jake, we're not going to sidecar into the baby debate. But I will say this really fast. Not all babies are cute. Go ahead, Jamie. Jamie, go ahead. We think yours is adorable. Please proceed. i've been told my baby is beautiful so i'll send you a picture there we go we'll be the judge of that if you don't hear back it's not good so i'm stay at home mom now yes i'm at home and I've been introduced to my husband's morning routine.

So he gets up early. He goes for a run. He comes home, takes a shower. So pretty normal. Gets out of the shower, dries off, and then doesn't put any clothes on, which, okay, maybe that's normal. I always put clothes on. But then he grabs his toothbrush and starts brushing his teeth still no clothes and then he starts stretching while brushing his teeth while naked and i grew up very modestly like only one man in the house my dad always had clothes on swimming he had a t-shirt on

at home always t-shirt shorts never saw him in his underwear you know just like sure just a clothed man is what i'm used to and so now my husband naked every morning and where i lay in bed i can see him every morning i see this happening and so our six-month-old gets up my husband brings him to bed with me and now my six-month-old is also watching his dad stretching naked brushing his teeth and I'm just like it's weird I'm like I'm scared that I'm scarring my baby because you know anytime you see a naked parent like that's disturbing so I'm like is my baby scarred for life is my husband going to teach my baby to do this Jamie I got a quick question Jamie I got to jump in I got i got a quick question jamie i got to

jump in i gotta ask a quick question here okay what kind of what kind of stretches it's a good question so he starts with like i wish i knew names of stretches do they have just walk us through like body not walk us through what that hunk's body is doing in the yeah what are we looking at is he reaching to the stars is he touching his toes he starts with like the hip stretch like you kind of lunge a little bit but like the lunges don't love it don't love a naked man lunging right off the bat but let's see if this develops i don't hate it because you got to keep the hips loose and that's a fact yeah yeah you could do it in boxers for sure but okay so naked lunges or yeah and then he moves on to like the quad stretch i guess you lift up your foot and you hold it.

That's fine. He's like stretching your quad. But is he doing like a squat? No, I've never seen a squat. Are you seeing front or back when he's doing this? Seeing the back. The back. Not the best.

Not what I would hope to hear, to be honest. That's not great. I got another question. I don't know. Jamie, I got another question for you. Has this morning routine of stretching naked, did this start when the baby was born? Because you said you were with him for eight years. Right.

I was a kindergarten teacher before, so I was always awake before him. So I never saw this routine until now. Jamie. What? Jamie, I got to call bullshit a little bit. While you're dating this man and you wake up on a Saturday, you're not teaching kindergarten every morning. Well, we didn't live together until we got married.

Oh. Oh, wow. We're one of those rude couples, you know know where you wait okay so was he so was he more conservative with how he lived his life around you until recently and now that you're home he's not holding back because guess what he's a man in his own house he's got to be himself too yeah so this is real you have not seen this side of him since you had a baby not the naked bathroom thing but every every time he comes home from work, in the living room, he'll just take off clothes, leave underwear on,

but he just doesn't want to wear clothes. So we're not just talking about a morning routine that's maybe incongruent with yours. We're talking about a pretty much at-home nudist. No, he wears underpants. Yeah, he's got his underpants on. Oh, okay. My daughter said to me once, she said,

the second you get home, Daddy, you take your pants off. Yeah. And I said, that's not accurate. And we walked in the house and as we walked in, I took my pants off.

Yeah. And she said, see, and I go, yeah, so I think what this is, Jamie, is, what are we calling your husband, by the way, just so we know?

Jordan. His real name. Okay, you got a fake name he's jordan you're gonna give us his last name and where he works oh right i respect you jamie so here's what i think uh i think your dad was a little bit tight the tape putting a shirt on in a pool the t-shirt on the pool as a former uh chubby child let me just say the t-shirt aka fat aaron paul listen we're trying to move away from that title obviously like that's out there now but we're trying to move away um but but that was like a cover of like you know when i was a fat kid i would be like i would put a shirt on in the pool and be like i got sunburned it was like there was like the sun of like, you know, when I was a fat kid, I would be like, I would put a shirt on in the pool and be like, I got sunburned. It was like there was like the sunburn club in the shallow end and seven chubby kids lying about a sunburn they didn't get.

So I understand it. But I think Jake's right. Like, we are definitely leaning in a direction where swimming in a T-shirt is like, was your dad very fair skinned or was he just. Or did he have or did he have tits? He was a modest manits he's a modest man he was a modest man so i just like that feeling of drowning in the pool gareth is right there's always a group of men who put shirts on and they're all chubby and they all talk about i gotta watch my moles you've been my dermatologist said i gotta really pay attention to some of these moles otherwise my shirt to be off i love my body as a guy who goes up and down in weight, there's just times I go like, I got to put a rash guard on.

Yes. And then if I'm going through a workout phase, I'm like, it's vitamin D. Let this sun hit this hunk's body. Totally. Yes. There's times where you're, that's like what I'll do with standup is like, there's times where I'm like, this shirt shows off my arms. And then there's other times where I'm like, if I wear four cloaks, maybe no one could

see how fat I am right now from the road. But what we're saying is basically like you were definitely raised maybe on one end of the spectrum. And I don't know how crazy this is. I guess this is one of the downsides to like not living together before this. Let me ask you this. How's his body? Good question. I find him very attractive. You like his body. question i find him very attractive you like his body you

like his body but you like some layers let me ask you another question how's your dad's body when you were growing up chubby huh dad let it go huh no he's he's fairly thin he's a runner okay so here's what i kind of think i don't think that you have a problem right now in terms of scarring your kid one bit, but I do think you got a problem on the horizon, Jamie. And I'm going to tell you what I think that problem is. I don't think you love the idea of seeing a man bending over in front of you in the morning. And I think what's happening is your baby's going to learn from him, and soon you're going to have two naked men stretching in your bedroom.

Because when that little baby grows up after watching his dad doing squats with no underpants on for 12 years, he's going to go, you know, my quads and my hammies are tight to rip those underpants off little guy and do some stretches. And then you're going to be in a world of trouble, especially if you keep having kids. So I don't think, I don't think Jordan's doing anything wrong, but I do think he's teaching a lesson that I'm not sure you want taught. Yeah, I think that would be the thing. It's a hard one to correct. I definitely, I'm trying to put myself in Jordan's position. If someone said to me, hey, when you're doing your nude naked morning stretches,

I'm worried about how that's going to affect our kid. And I'm going to be like, what? Don't put it on. What's going on here? Like it. It's difficult. I don't think I think it's definitely one of those things where it's like, you know, I mean, there's bigger problems.

Can you shut him into a room when he's doing his little stretches? Can you sort of close the door? Is that possible? There is no door. It's like our bathroom has that sink room with no door, and then the toilet's in a room kind of thing. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be, I don't mean to architectural digest,

but we're not talking about an open toilet in the. No, the toilet has a door, but the sinks are open. Otherwise, that's the main problem. Have you brought this up to him? I have not. I had, that's a main problem. Have you brought this up to him? I have not. I had to come to you guys first. By the way, I think your instincts are dead right. I think you are dead right.

But here's what, I think what Gareth is going is interesting. I think that there's a world you could bring it up to him and say, is there a way we could figure out a little privacy? Because there's nothing wrong with having like a privacy screen. Cause I will say, I don't mind taking layers of clothes off. I know my wife doesn't want to see me lift up one leg with no underpants on. And I don't think anybody on planet earth ever wants to see anybody else except for like 3% of true perverts. The rest of us, there's just areas of the human body. We don't need to see it certain angles. Yes. And I think it's fair to say

I'm just seeing some angles of you that I don't think your partner needs to see to which he could say. I hear that. Go ahead, Garth. Pardon the pun, but I'm going to buttress what you're going for. And I'm going to say we can kind of have an entry point through a gift. When is his birthday? January. January. Oh, I hear what you mean. So I think whatever holiday we're celebrating in December or January, how about an entry point of a bathrobe, a robe, a robe that sort of is like, hey, I just think for, you know, walking around, I mean, you know, nothing. And then see what what that does see if that maybe kind of gives you the the on-ramp to well i just think like in the morning you know it might you could even do a his and her robe you know something like that where you're

like we're robe people and just sort of see what that does i like where you're going with the gift i think you could do a robe i think you could also do a screen. You could get those like, you know what I'm talking about, Garf? Those like Japanese style screens that look cool too, but you could fold them up. It's the, pardon me while I slip into something more comfortable furniture. Exactly. That kind of screen. So we got to jump off.

We got our next caller on. But Jamie, we're going to say this. The kind of advice we're given is the idea of getting him a gift, either a bathrobe or some sort of a screen. What do you think you're going to do here? What's your move? I mean, I'm kind of disappointed I have to buy something. Or just lean in.

Or just lean in. Or you could just show him a picture show him oh wait a second i've got an idea i have an idea okay let's go i got a third idea fourth quarter i think this is gonna win because she did not like the idea of purchasing something very opposed uh jamie here's your move and i'm gonna need you to be a fucking gangster to pull this off. Next time he's doing these stretches, rip off your clothes and do the same ones. And I'm going to tell you, no, Gareth, I'm going to tell you what's going to happen in a movie. You're going to think, dude, he's going to be psyched. And the whole idea of like a woman takes off her shirt and her husband can't help himself in reality. If she's doing

like a super gross squat in front from the wrong angle, he's going to go like, Jamie, what are you doing? And she's going to go just like you. I woke up. I'm a little gassy and I'm stretching in front of you. But the downside is we're the stretchers. Like he could be like, babe, finally. You know what I mean? There is you are playing with a little bit of fire.

All right. Go ahead. Well, I mean, I think you could go to it i mean look i think in my head i'm talking i'm picturing like you know some macrame robe but you could hit up the salvation army and just get some kind of shady hospital robe or something and just see what that does what about getting him as a joke gift little funny thong underpants like american American flag. And then don't even say anything. Just throw them at him. Well.

And go, if you're going to put on a show, honey, do it right. And he goes, what is this? An American flag with a little string up your butt, buddy. Yeah. If you're going to do it, do it right. Well, Jamie, any of this? What do you think? What do you think?

Maybe something here? I want to throw underpants at him and see what that does. I'll tell you, sometimes we come in late with the winner, but we got one. Yeah, but hold on. Before we go, just because this is a really classy call with a classy ending. Melina, anything from the New York Times point of view on this one? I think you guys really have that one covered. I loved your suggestion.

We have it covered and he doesn't, but we'll do what we can. Jamie, thank you for the call. I hope you throw underpants at him and I hope you fix his problem before you have an army of kids stretching naked in front of you. Yep. Nobody wants that. Thank you for the call. Thank you, Jamie. It's tough. The backside of a man is not a winner. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson. And Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh,

and you can check out all of his work at OliverRaleigh.com. The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke. And if you'd like to see me do stand-up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. And if you'd like to be on our show, please email us at HelpfulPod at gmail.com. That was a HeadGum Podcast.