We're Here to Help - 191: We're Here to Chat Vol. 2: Ghost Ebay (with Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein)

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

If Gareth, Jake, Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein all worked at a used car lot, who would you choose to buy from? Find out in this bonus episode.Are you looking for a new friend? Go to https://tinyurl.com/heretohelpfriend to be part of our next Friendship Game.See episode images here!Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Agent Nate Russo returns in Oracle III, Murder at the Grandview, the latest installment of the gripping Audible original series. When a reunion at an abandoned island hotel turns deadly, Russo must untangle accident from murder. But beware, something sinister lurks in the grand view's shadows. Joshua Jackson delivers a bone-chilling performance in the supernatural thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Don't let your fears take hold of you as you dive into this addictive series. Love thrillers

with a paranormal twist? The entire Oracle trilogy is available on Audible. Listen now on Audible. Listen now on Audible. We're here to help. We're here to help. We're here to help. We're here to help. We're here to help. We're here to help. How about the second annual We're Here to Chat?

Yeah. Whoa. Eric and Steve, did the audience react to U2 Kings? Oh, man. Talk about building me up, you know, as a guy who runs, has a low self-esteem. Stop. You say that all the time. I'm just joking. What are you talking about?

Gareth, he's doing, now you're seeing what it's like. He's, this is bad, this is me, he'll, Steve. What if he started curling his hair? What would you say? Look, I like it, that I like. Yeah, I support that. Berm, look out. Yeah.

It would be nice. Oh my God, you can't beat that. That's comedy steroids. I would look like Bob Ross. Oh my God. You can't beat that. That's kind of a steroid. I would look like Bob Ross actually. He thinks, and he thinks there's ghosts everywhere. Yeah. I would go home if I saw him in audition. No, so would I. Yeah. This guy's got a perm. You see ghosts are turning itself up. It's over. It's over. He's auditioning against ghosts. I don't like my chances. There's a lot of good stuff. Let's not to bring everything home, but that's the terrifying thing of today with AI is we

are up against ghosts. Stop it. I'm up against fucking earnest Borg nine. I got a whole list in my stuff to worry about alive people. Now with this AI deal sag made an incredible deal for actors that are dead. We'll talk off here about this. Now with this AI deal sag made an incredible deal for actors that are dead. We'll talk off air about that. It's never been a better time, but man, I'm going to be up against Borg nine soon. We're getting better. Let's worry about that. Then let's worry about right now getting Berg to agree to

get a perm. Oh, I'm not opposed to it. I would look at the show. I think I would look like, well, I'm not worried. Oh, thanks. I know. I know. It's a little, no, I'm not worried. Oh, thanks It's a little no we're getting a nice perm, baby Now I'm more interested I mean cuz I just don't want to go to a super cuts, you know, you know This is my moneymaker super cuts as a sponsor Steve. Is there any way we could retake that and you say it real positively? I don't want to go to a strip mall place. I need a fine fine salon. You want a ghost cutter What do you think about a real perm for before we do the next you should have in your room?

I mean you're gonna have to do a Kickstarter for this but Just so but then what gareth does them now. I can't un-perm my hair. I don't get a perm. We're not going to turn this into the... Bird, get paid. Get paid. It is been... Because if we get one new girl check residual, we know he's got that times 150. Are you right? So do that fucking math and like if he wants to try to make you get a perm for a podcast... We're all adult men. We are all sniffing 50. Half a century. Make. I'm making it. We're all adult men. We are sniffing 50 half a century make I'm in the market Lemons, I'm making you

He's got a pay You don't want to see old Stevie Berg with a perm. It'd be amazing I think I'm gonna be a great move. Does Eric not look like Michael Landon's buddy and Show about an angel. Oh my God. He's dressed. I would accuse you of subject changing if it weren't so good. I've never been more honored. I'm the biggest Victor French fan. Are you kidding? He's killing it. He also said I look like Mike Rose sidekick on dirty job. You don't have any lines Very quickly onto him getting a perm because I think he got a little too close to the bone there Jacobus

No Victor French is amazing he played bad guys for years Will you put that closer Gareth? I don't know who he is Yeah, it's look. Oh, yeah, you do who he is. Yeah. It's look. Oh yeah. You do. I mean, yeah. Shocking. He also used to wear like a sports hat. Like the, the call is incredible. The fuck. I love him. He comes back from the dead to try to any more. Why should a lot? I remember my grandma would have that show on and it made me uncomfortable. I was like, my hair was weird. It was weird. Oh, the heresy. Are you, you don't love highway to heaven? No, I don't. I feel weird about it. I think I thought it was like a, like a, oh, I remember him for sure. Yeah. Doesn't that not? Yes. Eric generation. That's who

you're competing with. Eric, the range he had little house on the prairie. Plus I watch a ton of me TV. He shows up all the time playing great bad guys. Me TV. You don't watch TV. Is that a made up network? That sounds like what Steve's grandma had Victor French on TV. Me TV is my everyday. It's gun smoke, Hawaii five. Oh, the original Colombo late at night. We got Manix. Okay. I know. I know. I want to throw it all of it. It's the best people say this all the time. I'm sorry to interrupt Eric, but why do you have a pen? I'm taking notes. Garrett is taking notes. Well, if you could see what the pen has written so far would be, look, the thing about Eric, a lot of people say, you know, I was born the wrong generation, man.

He really was though. Yeah. Go on Steve. That's all I had to say about that. I thought you guys were going to yes and to that. No, I have to yes and jump on that grenade myself Cause it's true. Yeah. I'm still bothered by the pen. I'm bothered by the pen. The pen is strange. I don't know what, like it's like when I watch ESPN sometimes and it's like some like sports broadcast has like a Sharpie in his hand.

I'm like, buddy, just shut up. You know, just read when I use Dave, when I do voiceover auditions, even in the studio, I always held the pen and I think it's like I was an early Bob I was thinking of the Bob Dolphine as a kid because memory always held the pen. I'm not as a show on me TV Probably. Oh Yeah, Eric should have a pen Eric should have a pen that you see I agree. I'll put the pen down We're jumping and so fast and so now Steve you used to have a pen at voiceover auditions because Bob Dole.

Why do you carry it? No, I like to hold something. I feel like maybe that's where I put my nerves, if I'm nervous. I'll squeeze that. Oh, I gotcha, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? I like to hold something.

Sure. The idea of dealing with, what do you do for nerves if you're doing, do you get nervous with standup anymore, Gareth? No. I did a show at the Comedy of dealing with, what do you do for nerves if you're doing, do you get nervous with stand-up anymore, Gert? No. I did a show at the Comedy Store last night and that, I wasn't nervous, but I was like, this is a little different. But on the road, no, nothing.

None? Really? Like going to the stage from your hotel, zero anxiety? I used to go on the road with this guy and I used to watch him before shows, sometimes nap and then someone would wake him up and he'd be road with this guy, and I used to watch him before his show, sometimes nap, and then someone would wake him up and he'd be like, all right, he put his suit coat on and go on stage, and I'd be like, how does he do that?

And I'm like, I can do that. Really? Yeah. I get nervous for everything. I get nervous for everything too. Yeah, everything. Even like self-tape auditions in my basement, I did one earlier in the week that I was nervous for.

I'm like, why are you nervous, dork? You were? Yes! I did a self tape for, during the pandemic for Dungeons and Dragons, that movie. And they were shooting in some Eastern European country. And I was so bored. And I thought like, man, just get me there. It was probably the worst thing I have ever done in my life.

And I've ever, when I sent it in, I knew I was, it was like, I felt like I was sending a piece of dog shit across the mail. I'm like, I know when you get it, you can't be happy with it. I didn't have anybody reading with me. So I would go like, we're going over to the ocean. And I'd like, take a moment and be like, whatever the fuck they're supposed to be saying, but they're not here. And I'm in my closet. This isn't acting. I'm just standing in a cloud and then it'd be like, Whoa. And then like we're asked to a fight. I was like, this is a dumb thing. Did you have to do moves? I had to do moves. I was like, and I was literally

in this room before it was a pod. I had like clothes behind me and I was just, I finished it and I literally was like, I was like, I'll never do that again. That was, I had like clothes behind me. And I was just, I finished it and I literally was like, I'll never do that again. That was, I hated it. Doing moves. So I think going to a place makes sense. It makes a lot of sense. Cause then you're, at least it feels like

the old 200 South La Brea days. Yeah. Well, when we say 200 South La Brea, we should point out to everybody that that was basically the auditioning commercial hub for when you moved to LA. And we would go there and we would all of us would audition for commercials. We'd all see each other. Ten studios. They would be doing 10 diff. I mean, it was really how you cut your, how you made a living when you moved to LA.

I once I pulled up there, I'm not I'm not joking. It's amazing and I Pulled up to the south of brain you were there almost every day back in the day and as I'm getting out I see Jake's little Hyundai. I'm like, oh my man. This is gonna be great We're walking together. So I kind of pause and wait and Jake doesn't see me. He pops out and prop glasses fake glasses First off it was gold for me, but I'm I want I go Crop glasses. Fake glasses. Oh, man. Yes. You have a character at the commercial that was wearing glasses. First off, it was gold for me.

But I go, you don't wear glasses? And he's like, yeah, I don't. I'm like, ah, ah, ah. But then, like, but you know what? Immediately I respected the hustle. I'm like, you know what? That's the game, though. That was like a virtual game back then.

As if the game ever changes. Oh! Oh! Look at him! Parker! Look at Warby's! That's that's the game though. That was a game ever changes Do you like these Because they're all fake glasses guys why oh For what? For auditions? You know what? Those look nice. But what about, do you have a pair of like, that could pass for like 50s glasses? Yeah, I wore them in the Swanberg movie. I can see you're a little more vintage. Can we get a taste?

You got to use Victor French's? I like, put them in the- I would buy Victor French's personal property if it's up in auction. What is going on with you? I hate these auctions, Eric. You gotta embrace them. I'm now, but for French's personal property, if it's up in auction, I will say that. What is going on with you? I hate these auctions, Eric. I really do. You gotta embrace them. I'm now saving shit. Why? Because it made Bill Walton's widow a fortune.

David Lynch, that auctioneer. They weren't struggling, I bet. A few years ago, he had health stuff. Whenever it's health stuff, and they were worried at one point their houses were sale. But Eric, you're not doing it to support them as much as you are you want the stuff right I want Bill Walton's watch I want to be at a Neil Young show and Bill Walton's tied I I'm sharing it with my buddy James Kirkland wait it's

called the Bill Walton mystery great by the way great books great didn't you also get Neil Young's couch or something I got that but it is now my buddy Reggie's gay Raj because my wife did not want it It wasn't even allowed in the barn Yeah, I had two giant glorious seat chairs of Neil Young I had his Nakamichi tape deck which was like top of the line I feel like I had to end up selling this thing. It would sound just amazing for about two songs, then the tape would eat it. It was so frustrating. So we had to just sell that.

Are you still in your tape cassette phase? Remember when we went to the tape cassette phase? They sound incredible. I'm convinced cheap tinny MP3s are a conspiracy. Gareth, your thoughts. Okay. First of all, I feel like I'm just reading off camera lines for Eric. Hey, you know what? I rehearsed. I've never heard that argument. I've heard records, which I've never bought into the like, oh vinyl, I never bought into that. I think we have the way to listen to music right now

that I'm most happy with. But even within that, I've never heard tapes be, what do you suggest is the advantage? Well, my argument against what you're saying, MP3s are that they are cheap, tinny. There's just a tiny amount of information in there. And you're missing so much good stuff. There's high resolution audio.

You can definitely hear a difference. CD or cassette, so many of these great albums were recorded on tape originally. You listen to it, yeah yeah there might be a hissing but there's a warm beautiful sound. It's the hissing. And you hear every bit of it. The hissing is the issue for me. The hissing is an issue but you get beyond that because you're finally getting your medicine the way it's supposed to be. Unadulterated pure sound. But the hissing is an issue. I mean it it doesn't sound good. Oh, dude, when I'm driving around Topanga Canyon

with that cassette blasting, I'm not worried about that hissing. What are you playing? I'm getting the music. What are you playing the cassette on? But some of the instruments you don't hear because of the hiss. Yeah. I mean, you're going to miss the bass. Well, and also full disclosure, the other real thing they got to figure out is that

someone needs to make a modern cassette deck for the car. Yeah, I was going to say, how are you? Well, it always breaks. So then I have to get it pulled out. I take it to Mark Nazry at FET electronics over there in Burbank. I get another one put in. Eric's keeping the doors open there. Yeah. He tells his wife, he's like, I would have closed years ago. This guy drives with rubber music to tape. Thank God for Victor French. Yeah, I'm Mark's Highway to Heaven. I'm keeping that thing going, man. But you have a tape deck.

He's the Dat King. You have a tape deck in your car? Oh, yeah, yeah. And then I also have an aux cord. So when the tape deck breaks, I do aux cord. And then I do that through title, which is high definition. I'm getting a lot more of the medicine that you're depriving yourself of.

That you think are sustaining. The medicine is shocking. The medicine. Calling music the medicine. The record, listen to that thing. Put the record on and feel it. For lead pipes. We used to listen to records together as a country,

we miss it. Eric, what are you talking about? We used to listen to records together as a country? We miss it Sit in someone's living room and you throw on records and that's true. We still do that at Derek waters house House and everyone just listen to a record they were I think hang out Yeah, you talk you feel it You start moving to the music. All of a sudden, whenever you're pissed off about it's going away. You're into the groove.

And what else happens, Bob? You know, puff or two of something, some Chinese takeout, you know, leaving incense on, forgetting about it, going to bed. If I get a little gropey, don't blame me, man Man when I hear the Eagles come in these fingers do it Heidi have moved away from the zero king listening to records to Bob Crane's Projection city population. You know, wholesome thing and listening to records suddenly cranes mid century living room and carps coming through with cocktails. Nice time. Yeah. I've been in that barn. Now that's right there. Eric's literally the burn. Wow. That is,

and there are the, there's the medicine on the wall. That is nuts. That is, that is nuts. I can't believe you have a tape deck in your car. Oh yeah. We'll just drive around and you'll see what you think. We'll put the top down, go through Topanga Canyon. Put the top down? Of course. Yeah, I think he's asking me to go shirtless, which I'm okay with, Eric. What convertible are you rocking? No, in the goddamn car, Jake. In the goddamn car.

You're not rocking a convertible these days. You liked it so much at one point you got a convertible. No, hold on. I thought you don't have a convertible. You don't currently have a convertible. Sure I do. Which one? The 1995 E320 Cabriolet. I don't know.

You have a Cabriolet? I thought you had just the Cherokee and then Jess's car. That's what I thought. No, I've had the, my baby is the white Mercedes E320. Oh, yeah. I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I thought you got rid of that. I've had that my baby is the white Mercedes The Jeep was sold on bring And I've not missed it for once I was telling me about this it in another world Let's just be honest gentlemen the four of us would be holding down the lobby of a used car dealership for sure I'm in the selling Tennis machines right now Tenant wait, what do you mean? What do you mean?

Yeah, get the pen. No, yeah, you have a ball machine. I got a link to a ball machine guy You're trying to sell more than yard right now Steven. Shut up. Yeah Really? Eric you see how easy it is to sell some You're trying to sell... Hey, Eric, you see how easy it is to sell something these days? Oh yeah, the problem is now I'm a little interested too. I am what you call a merc. Yeah, you dangle the one thing and Steve all of a sudden, I come in that looks to be like,

Eric, I told you I was going to dangle this. He's easy, all of a sudden I get a text, hey, forget this stupid podcast. Can we talk to him? How many are you looking to move, big guy? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, what is going on, Jay? You're moving tennis machines from We would be happy hat on a hat Seriously, but why do you have multiple tennis ball machines? Yeah, how many you selling never talk about the source?

But I got an angle to tennis machines Talk about this a little more. I talk about this a little more I got an angle at old tennis machines that were in a building that were going to get destroyed and I said store the tennis machines at my house we'll figure out the next thing later how many? are you serious? yes as of now I have one with another on the way, but there could be four or five tennis machines

And you've never felt more alive in your life Today there was a tennis machine in my front yard from my buddy dropped off and what I can't wait to do after this is Plug it in and see how fast those things shoot. I got a net. I'm going right into the net with it Is that a prince? What kind of thing? I think they're a little bit more old school. I don't know. It's literally like tennis match. Wow. That's awesome. It's not awesome.

There's gonna be some groover going like this. Now this is the place to buy me shit. No, that's what I'm saying. The reason it scares me is I don't wanna punch you guys behind my shit. It's my shit. Well, just put the stuff away. Put the stuff away that you don't want like wrap gifts.

I don't wear those anyway. Most people aren't my size, but seeing how much those go for on the auctions, I'm like, yeah. If you just started saving your wrap gifts. Meaning your gifts after a project. Yeah, for the love of God, I'll take no judgment from a man with tennis machines in his backyard.

Closest garage. So, some of that space to save your rap gifts, your scripts, even write old Nicki Miller on a new girl thing. You know, save that shit, and then all of a sudden, when you leave this mortal coil, and it will be the darkest day ever, but you leave behind a pile of money for

your loved ones. Oh my god, you! I'm gonna run the auction, I've done some preliminary paperwork, I need a signature from you and from Aaron, it's not a big thing, it's not morbid, it's an act of love. Steve, are you an auction guy Steve? No, I don't have the patience for that. You don't? I'm not, I'm not, no. I'm really not.

No. Steve likes when the person leaves this mortal coil. That's when he gets involved. That's when he's trying to find them. He's going looking for... That's it, yeah. Just know this, if one of you guys dies before me, I'll find you on the other side. Yeah, so you and Eric.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, Steve, because we know you're 50-50. Do you really believe that? I, that I could find you? No, I don't, but I believe that there's a chance I could through divination and some talented mediums I know. Okay, so let's say, we'll make a little pact right now. One of us passes.

Yeah. Steve, your driving point. What do you do? The first thing I do is there's a woman name a gosh the name is escaping me But she lives in Denver, Colorado a great start a bad start without question not a good start No, he doesn't know who is the first step is well. I'll find you as soon as I can find the name of this I'll find you as soon as I can find the name of this. I just got to, I wrote it somewhere around here, but I have my pen. I'm gonna find a ghost if you can't find a woman in Denver. He was building to that.

I was riveted. Thank you. I was riveted. Thank you. Thank you. Eric, riveted. You can't hear about the hissing of your cassette. I believe her name is, it's Rebecca something, right?

Okay, oh, that'll help. See, it's Rebecca something, you two. Shut up, Eric. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something is finished. I would contact her, and she has had a lot of success with people I know. My friend Joey and Leo both have used this woman

to contact their parents, and some undeniable stuff has happened. Okay, walk us through it, please. Well, these are kind of personal stories, but I'll give you- Well, nobody knows their last name, Joey and Leo. Okay, okay, okay, I'll give you one. One is that they were told that I will show up,

they're like, look for dimes. It was his dad saying this to him. And he woke up the next morning, no one else in the family heard this, and there was a stack of dimes next to his alarm clock. Yeah, Rebecca, put him there. Rebecca broke into his house and put it there. That's insane logic Dad was like here's a stack of dimes boy

If a woman endeavor broke into the house to leave dimes I believe that more than the dad went to Ghost Bank, but there is a bit There is a long historical precedence of a thing called the apport, and that is things materializing and have nothing to fall from the sky. And oftentimes it manifests in the shape of coins. Please explain that. I've never heard that before.

So people will be sitting in their house and all of a sudden weird coins from 300 years ago will just fall out of the air and land on their coffee table. What? It's called an airport. So it comes from nothing. It's just created but it's from also another time and another country. Yes Why? I don't know that you buddy. We live in a weird world. I don't think we understand the nature of reality But then why isn't it just a new random nothing coin?

I don't pretend to understand what the supernatural represents, Jake. I don't know if you're gonna be the best to hunt Jake after, or whoever it is after the cast. I'm way more qualified than you, Gareth. Oh. You're talking about- Jake the Ghost will be taking dimes. Yeah.

Fuck. Hey, where's my watch? If you go to What's Her Name, Rebecca, she'll go, watch out for dimes. Literally, watch out for your dimes. Everyone watch your dimes. Watch everything that's valuable. He's found a way to sell it on Ghost eBay. He's taking tennis machines.

I see a Hungarian man. He's not coming into focus. But he's... You can hear from a Hungarian man. He's not coming into focus, but he's... And you just hear from a tennis machine. Foo-boo. Foo-boo. Foo-boo. Foo-boo. Is that a tennis machine? And then you hear, it's for sale! There's a portal on the wall. I'm trying to move to tennis machines. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Squarespace.

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Yeah back to the test machines so how did this come about like how'd you agree to be like the Like something I don't know do these test machines and naturally we all know that Jake loves the art of a sale I mean mean, you know what? And God bless you are talented. So by the way, so Eric is a fucking king. This is started with the king over there. You both are very, very good at this. I mean, probably not so much. Are you not a good salesman, Gareth? I don't think I would keep, I think if someone was like, Hey, I found tennis machines, I would be like okay, but

In another world we don't have showbiz Right and we are all standing on a Lincoln lot, and we are selling Lincoln's oh We've got a you I'd be good area and one of us is the owner and we all go here's what we do Jake Thank you, whoever sells the most units gets a huge bonus oh yeah I'm in on that yeah of course it's and I'm and I'm and I'm handing out my phone number and to clients when I shouldn't be yeah we've had some complaints Garrett what about someone had sex in the back of another one of these cars? I don't know.

We're going to figure out who did it, but I don't know who it was with me. At this moment, I'm unsure. At this moment, my investigation has led me nowhere. Gareth, what would be your style of dress and your style of sales on the lot? Oh, there'd definitely be sunglasses inside and outside. There'd be a pinky ring. I'd go with a bright really would be a pinky ring. There'd be a pinky ring it's a sign of a professional there definitely would be a Shirt, I would I kind of picture us in the 70s or 80s for some reason. So I'm gonna live in that the shirt will be open there'll be a kerchief and

Dare I say it white dust around your nose? Definitely. So much coke. Coke, Garrett, as a curse, I would have such a bad cocaine problem. I just snorted my prophets. You would have every disease imaginable. Your dick would be on fire 24-7. He's going, your guy's dick's on fire and it itch.

And we go, no go you have a disease Hey is anyone else's dick fall off when they took Diet coke. Unrelated. Unrelated, man. All right, so what are we calling you in that deal, Jake? Toothpick. Oh, you would. You would go full on. You would just lean into. Yeah, I know what I'm doing. I'm here.

I'm not pretending. I'm a real guy. You'd have a perpetual black eye, too. Or some kind of like. I'm doing well. That's why I got the glasses on. Mark your face. Plus a toothpick.

And my name is V Raj. You'd be getting hit by a lot of husbands. Exactly. A lot of husbands would be punching you. I was never here, and then I jump in the back of a caddy. But in terms of sales, how you doing with sales? Pretty good, pretty good. I've had better years, but I'm pretty good.

I'm doing good. I mean, I've had better years. In fantasy world, you're starting on a down year. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm not. Yeah. I like your nose, V Raj. In our fantasy, my you're starting on a down year. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm not, yeah. I'm watching Elfie Garage. In our fantasy, my better years are behind me. Okay, interesting. But I don't know that.

I got you, but you're still selling hard. Oh yeah, I'm still making moves. What's your technique? I definitely like- Because you have a different technique with men and women, we know that. Yes, I definitely like, okay, to the man, I definitely like, you know,

this is my favorite car in the lot. Pretty good. That's what I start with with the guy and with the woman. Again, we're in the 70s, it's a different era, okay? Nobody's gonna get mad at you, Carly. So this is me that, you know, not only would you look beautiful in that car, you always look beautiful outside of it.

Hi, my name's Raj. I work here at Lincoln Lands. in that car. You always look beautiful outside of it. Hi, my name's Raj. I work here at Lincoln Lands. I would love to talk to you about some of these vehicles. Take a roam around the lot. I'll be over there if you need me. Let me know. I really want to take care of you.

Not bad. Stevie, you on the lot. What are you thinking? Ooh, ooh, ooh. This is crystal clear to me, Jake. I have a gray suit with a salmon shirt. I'm more of like a 1998 guy. The suit is too tight in the hopes

that I'm always trying to lose weight. I'm like, I bought the suit, besides two smokes, I'm gonna fit into it. And I am gunning hard because I have a kid on the way and I'm really excited about that. I go to church, I'm very involved in the community. You go to church? In this scenario, yeah.

I'm going with Kill'em with Kindness, real sweetheart thing. And I bring brownies in like a Tupperware. And every client's like, hey, here you go, here's a little brownie. Just for you? I end up eating a lot of them, that's why I'm having a hard time getting in that suit.

And I am wearing that suit, it's really tight in the butt and a little short, short in the suit. And I am wearing that suit. It's really tight in the butt. And a little short, short in the ankles. It's tight in my butt. But I'm doing, but I'm doing better than I ever have though, cause I'm so motivated with the kid on the way. And so I'm really killing it. And it's like, Hey, how you doing? Welcome, huh?

Ooh, what are you guys doing for the 4th of July? Oh, you got a family. Well, this is a great family car, and let me tell you why. You know, so I would go kill him with kindness. They're like, hey, this guy, we should invite him over Thanksgiving. And what do you think of Raj? Who's Raj? Who the fuck do you think Raj is?

Who's Ro? Gareth? Gareth's character? I do not like the Gareth character at all. Like I feel like uh... I don't like your character either. Well I also brought my wife to a mixer and he was handsy. Mmm. It was my way of expressing myself. And he's been handsy with me a couple times at Christmas parties.

Yeah also Steve, what'd he do? He touched that juicy butt of yours. He kept on pinching my butt and calling me slow. As a goof, it's locker room. And talking about playing a meatloaf. It's the locker room. All right, King, who are you on this lot? I think pre-internet, so I probably lied about being a former professional athlete.

I think I wear a suit that I can either dress up or dress down. If it's someone like conservative coming in, I think I tighten up that tie, take off any jewelry. If it goes the other way, let down, let the chest hair out. Really it's not about cars, it's about friendship. It's about meeting people along the way. If you can get them in transportation from point A to point B, that's awesome. All the money stuff kind of works itself out. That's not why I'm here. people along the way, if you can get them in transportation from point A to point B, that's awesome.

All the money stuff kind of works itself out. That's not why I'm here. Like, you know, I was once someone that had had trouble with cars and now I can help people. In reality though, is that the true motivation? What's the guy like behind that mask if it is a mask? So so blurry, Raj. He doesn't even know anymore. Yeah. A long time ago. It's just a bunch of gray area. I streaks of black streaks of white, but just the gray. I'll tell you what. Jake's is so easy because I'll just, I'll just say as you tell me Steve as is no, no, who doesn't agree with me. Come on. You don't have to put them in another era, another city. Another time. It's just like, no notes. No notes. Yeah. That's a drop, drop Jake in 1957 and drop them in 2049. It is the same. Remember, this whole conversation started because Jake is selling tennis machines.

Exactly. That's not a bit. No, Jake is actively selling tennis machines. Yeah, and we're all going to get emails later. I will be involved somehow. There'll be someone come over to look at a tennis machine. I come over for 10 minutes, fake looking tough, then I I'm gonna have the lunch of a lifetime yeah or you should Eric will come over as a potential buyer start bidding the guyW's on.

The VW. I gotta say, I love us in a car dealership. I do too. It works. This team in a car dealership and a car dealership. We got it all. We got it all. We'd move units.

We'd move units. We'd move units. It was diverse too. Diverse. Diverse approaches. Yeah. Yeah. Eric, I told you I was driving today. I went to the dentist. Steve, Dr. K. And is Tony still there?

Tony's still there. Oh, she's great. Steve and I shared the same dentist. Steve, will you do the doctor, the Tony call? Hey, this is Tony. Steve, I just want to remind you, you have a cleanup on next Wednesday on the 14th. We'll see you there. Bye She is lovely I really I really like yeah, and I drove by the great rice walk Oh

Big up to Nancy and Paul. Oh Canyon and Moorpark friends, that's great More meals there than anywhere else in my life. They were like family to a young Jake and I. No to you. They never knew you were family. Well, I had a bachelor apartment. I didn't have a kitchen. So they had this lunch special of like $5.95, $6.95.

And boy, it kept me fed and happy. Didn't you think John Goodman there? Yeah, that's how it all started. It was my buddy from improv class said he had a Chinese restaurant by his house and he saw John Goodman in there. And I'm like, which one? Rice walk, corner of Laurel Canyon, Moor Park. Far from you, you probably won't ever go.

I mean, I just started going there. That's how it started? Yeah, because John Goodman ain't there because not you knew it was going to be a good meal. I'm like, there's no way this isn't awesome. If John Goodman is eating at a strip mall Chinese place, Moor Park in Laurel Canyon, I'm there. It's a good review. It's a good review.

And I've been there for over 20 years. I've never been in a place where the people love a customer more than they loved Eric. And I'm not kidding. There's a lot of people we all know who are like friendly to staff and wanna be liked. We all know that type. It's different. Eric is like a family member. And when you said, he said, you and me were, it wasn't that way. When Eric's in the bathroom, I'm a customer. We're in some

ladies house. There just happens to be strangers there too. But it does feel when we go in, he's like hey Nancy We get a table then for some reason like there's three other people sitting here I don't know why they're in Nancy's house, but I'm here with Eric and They adore you dude Their family. They're special special. How does that start Eric? How does it go from just being a customer to getting to that point? You're obviously breaking the ice But what how does that start, Eric? How does it go from just being a customer to getting to that point? You're obviously breaking the ice, but how does that start? Just going in there all the time and being so happy about how good the food was.

To me, it felt like a win that my life was eating strip mall Chinese four or five times a week. I'm like, I got veggies, I got everything I need in this meal and Then we just all got very friendly and then I'd start meeting people there Like yeah hilariously one time everybody Gareth. Oh, yeah A thousand times with them Every time it was Wanted to be with Eric at a certain time you went to rice walk. Yeah, it was, if you wanted to be with Eric at a certain time, you went

to Rice Walk. It was not close to anybody. No, no. It's a legitimate, I'm not trying to exaggerate here, 20 minute drive from anywhere we all lived. Yeah. Easy. You got to go 20 minutes at least. Yeah. And parking's a nightmare. It's a nightmare, it's tiny. It's a tiny life. And I will say this, and this is gonna be controversial. I think the food's good. Uh oh. Judas. Uh oh. Judas.

Judas. Just saying that about Rice Walk for a fucking podcast. For one person in Greenblender. He's turning red. It's incredible food, it is made with love. I'm not selling you out here. This is true. I think that certain, I would defer to Steve as a chef, but I think certain cooking that soul absolutely comes through. Explain what that means. Like if Steve is a chef, he's a chef. He's a chef.

He's a chef. He's a chef. He's a chef. He's a chef. He's a chef. He's a chef. He's a think that certain I would defer to Steve as a chef, but I think certain cooking that soul absolutely comes through. Like Steve is a chef. Yeah.

Steve, you're a chef. Steve actually burned a chicken on a podcast we did with him once on this show. That was not my fault. Are we Eric? Are we now claiming that Steve Berg's a chef? Hell yes. He is Incredible red sauce I did and my red sauce is serious Berg Eric looks some of the most incredible meals I've he puts his soul into a god damn it. I do I do I do Gareth and a little bit of weed

Look, this this is all it's all just minorly It's minorly tainted by the fact that you think the best way to listen to music is on a cassette tape. No, no, records are still better, but I'll take cassette over a Tinney MP3, a good quality cassette anytime. It makes me think if I were to be eating Steve's pasta and be like, oh, there's a hair in this, Eric could go, he's working hard for you, brother. Yeah, it's not permed yet, we're working through it.

Or if the chicken was just like pretty good. Yeah. It would be like, Wow. It's passion to chicken. He cooked it, he overcooked it cause he wanted to make sure it was perfect. What makes the, look at how mad Eric's getting.

Salmonella kills 114,000 people a year. This, this, this, this, thismonella kills 114,000 people a year. Well, that does remind me, I went to this place, it was like a Thai pop-up, real hip, and it was early on, we days were like, they were stoners making stoner food. It was supposed to be incredible flavor. I went there and we cut into the chicken and it is pink all throughout. Not disgusting. You're killing this for stoners everywhere.

You're giving us just a fucking death sentence on two plates here, friends. Oh wait, what's your Mike Tyson story speaking of stoners? Oh, this is a good one. Didn't you just tell me a great Mike Tyson story? Yeah, well it was one of those, I love to go to this place called Mr. Charlie's and it is a McDonald's, but

vegan. Okay. I mean, it is incredible food. Is that the place in Korea town? No, it's on, um, the, the bridge is South and Melrose. They know me. Okay. And you go in there, you can, it's that visceral feeling of eating

McDonald's I haven't had in like, you know, 15 years or whateverceral feeling of eating McDonald's I haven't had in like, you know, 15 years or whatever. And I get emotional and I love it. Well, one day they announced in their Instagram that their new co-owner was coming in and serving their new ice cream. And it was Mike Tyson. What? So I got in the car, went down there. I was kind of thinking about maybe going down there anyway. And then went down there and there's a little line and then soon This van pulls up The van door opens this smell of weed goes up and down the brea Probably made it to 200 south and then fucking Mike Tyson gets out of this van and he's sitting there

and he's so wonderfully stoned and then he gets in there and he's just kind of standing behind the counter and so wonderfully stoned and then he gets in there and he's just kind of standing behind the counter and I see him like hey, hey Mike honored to meet you honor and then the other guys in there that know me like hey He's a regular and it's like I come in all the time Mike It's awesome you bought in and then he was just barely interacting with anybody But then I decided to push my luck. I'm like Mike We take a picture with me and put your fist and he kind of looks at me Nods. Yeah, this is just recently too. Yeah, I have the picture will post on the socials This is like last month and then I'm smiling toward the camera and then I had that brief moment where he came in and he

Came in just a tiny bit hard not in any way that would hurt me, but I had that feeling Where I'm like Mike Tyson's fucking fist is pressing in on my beard right now. And then he smiled, he was cool, and I went on my way with my vegan Big Mac, and it was a pretty cool, weird day. That's what I love about this, Terran. You'll log online and see something crazy

happen that day, and then you go get to do it. You will. It's funny. I won't. I'll say that. I'll be like, that'll be fun for Eric. Well you're getting these bad mp3s man. We're boosting your passion with the sets now It's all starting here. You're coming over to this bar in jail You need medicine Garrett We're gonna have a time we're gonna go to the coral reef Yeah

Glendale Boulevard right by TG that okay It's awesome. It's very very good. That's why you It's not really really good I promise you Jake I've been there Eric It's awesome. It's very very good. That's why you not really really good When was the last time you were there Years ago, I will admit get their vegetables. I guarantee they didn't get new chef under ten bucks They're refined. Hey, we because I have proof on this place. It's like punching water.

I've tried this restaurant where one of the tables has like weird old newspapers on it that you're like well you just got stacks of papers here and they kind of just also live in the rest of the truck. Dude, that means it's going to be great. Are you... The same as if you go and there's an A on there I'm like, ah, it's going to be some sterile AI cooking. AI cooking? What are we talking about?

There's a restaurant where it's Chinese classics cooked by robots. But that's like one place. Yeah, but I'm worried. I'm worried. But if you see a letter, if I see an A grade in the window, I'm like, ah, good, they got a clean kitchen. That's what he said.

He said an A, I didn't understand You are less excited B means we're about to really I don't care about that bureaucrat. Jeez, they're not playing by the rules. I don't care about what happens. If they got an F, they got rats, brother. Rats only like. I'll tell you what, Eric, this is not a joke.

Eric used to take me to this place that had this really special Thai dish called the Khao Soi. And the first time we went, it had C in the door, in the window, I was like, ah. A C pass? Yes, and Eric was like, it's fine, it's good. They got a bad deal, they got a raw deal. What's the raw deal? They got a filthy kitchen? like, it's fine. It's good. They got a bad deal. They got a raw deal. What's the raw deal? They got a filthy kitchen? Cockroach ain't a rad deal, man. Those are

kind of a bad deal. No, no, no. Yeah, brother. Eric, when you said that they got a raw deal, did you have any insight into the reality of why they got a raw deal? I just, I've worked for a place and gotten a place shut down by the health department before. I know how that goes. One bad employee can do it. Like, you know, at the end of the I've worked for a place and gotten a place shut down by the health department before You didn't know that they specifically got a raw deal you were just like I want to ask him I trust him I'm sure it was a raw deal there. You can't in the bureaucracy this city. Okay. Oh, man

You know What restaurant did you get shut down, Eric? I got Pizza Bella shut down on the corner of Whitley and Franklin. These aren't jokes. Right in the velvet crotch of Hollywood? Oh yeah, well I was working at Starbucks. This is right around when I first met Jake.

And then, you know, Starbucks and I were not a long fit. After maybe 10 months, It was like by mutual agreement That I would be phased out He was fired Somebody to say I got fired and it was by me well I was working with Mike Tirolo and Tom Mesmer and once I figured out that like It's like a mid-afternoon shift. No one was there that like inside a iced coffee cup Guinness looked just like iced coffee

Oh We were all drinking it was Mutual yeah Mutual okay Okay, I was buzzed. I wouldn't say I was drunk somebody stole our tips and I Okay, I was buzzed. I wouldn't say I was drunk. Okay, somebody stole our tips and I Grabbed the guy and I got written up for that. I'm like, but they keep stealing our tips. You're not Recompensating us. I Did get the guy I did not hurt him. I got him from behind. He dropped the tips

Through that story Jack That is exactly what happened I was written up for not using my star skills because the guy grabbed our tips and then I was right there We would been trained to just let him go but they weren't reimbursing our tips Which was like an extra two to three bucks an hour. So he was right there I was like fuck this and one kind of bear paw. I got him. He dropped the tips went on the ground Then he freaked ran away. And then I was, you know, for a conquering hero

for about four or five minutes. And then I got taken in back, told you can't touch customers. There are chances of a little bit of a misunderstanding. Could have been, sure. Could have been, sure. You felt slighted. No, Genesis might have got on top of you. Well, I will say this, if you're a problematic customer in those days and you didn't treat me like a human

being, the irony of all that is you are going to get decaf. And that's what I'll say now to all those people. If you're Rudy or Barista, you're getting decaf or vice versa. Truly, as it should be, as it absolutely should be. Watching Eric figure out the phone on his computer's been enjoyable too. Oh my god. It's been an update. Grandpa finally had to get a new phone. It's so annoying.

While saying, you're getting decaf truly because you didn't treat me like a human. And then what? And then how did it become a mutual parting? Yeah. So you're drunk. Then it was just kind of the manager, Mike Butler, he was a really cool, great guy. You know, went to a Christofferson show together later. But there was some sniffing around

from the pizza Bella next door. What was, I was more their vibe perhaps. I was, you know, like Tom Cruise in cocktail. I was my own rules. I wasn't made to wear that green apron. I was made to go to pizza Bella to make pizza for drunk people after the Hollywood bowl. So what happened when Tommy Cruise went to the pizza place?

Tommy Cruise was doing the pizza place? Tommy Cruise was doing great for a while. Because Tom Cruise in cocktail was great at it. You just had yourself to the... Mark Gatley already got me the job. He didn't shut down the pizza place. Yeah, then he got cast in a play. I learned to throw pies, I was pretty good.

And then Mark got cast in a play, he got fired because he said there was an oven malfunction. So I'm now closing at night and opening. I'm closing at night and opening, at which point I had the epiphany for my eight, nine bucks an hour, I was eating a lot of free goat cheese and premium toppings. I'm like, who am I cleaning for? Give him the C letter grid. Oh yeah. If I'm closing at night and I'm opening the next morning, that dough is still just gonna be on the fucking floor and guess what, there's gonna be more dough coming.

So then I just kinda quit cleaning at night. There's gonna be more dough coming. Yeah. So I showed up one day and there is the health department tape everywhere. What? Oh God. And the manager's like, you know, and they only have he's negotiated only have the pizza place taped off, not the whole thing. And he's

like, who is the fucking idiot who closed last night? Like, well, what do you mean? Let's parse this out. And he's like, you got 67 fucking digital pictures of fucking rat shit There are all these there are all these violations So if there's hold on Eric if there's all this rat shit That's just not one night if the doughs on the ground is more dough a coming. How filthy was this place? That was technically also supposed to be cleaned. I viewed it more like an alley, and then the rest, then viewed it more as a home. So inside the place proper, it was decent,

and I would clean it a couple times a week at the end, but like no reason to bleach up this floor. One of the absolute, one of the, oh yeah. And that was the end of my time there. But I had a hilarious moment because I really did learn to throw this pizza. It was all undocumented workers. Two Canadians named Scumbag and Junior. Okay. An undocumented South African, then two undocumented Guatemalans.

But the undocumented Canadian, his name's Scumbag. Dave DeRosch, brilliant guy. He worked with me for a while. Brilliant guy. I would do stuff and I'd come back. The best Chinese food in the nation. C letter grade is good. Good to get Bill Walton's socks.

Tapes are where it's at. You want the hissing on the tape. Yeah. Dave would give me a note on something to do and I'd go back into it and come back enthusiastic. I thought I did a good job. And he'd look at me kind of funny and then he'd say, I'm going to go back to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym.

I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. Yeah. And Dave would give me a note on something to do and I'd go back into it and come back enthusiastic. I thought I did a good job.

And he'd look at me kind of funny. And then one day he went to our second city show, Jake. This is my friend. Okay. And I could tell there's something afterward he really needed to get out to me. And I were kind of shift. This is scumbag. Scumbag.

I'm like, we're in the muck together working, pulling these shifts. He's like, he's, he came up, he's like, big man, I'm sorry, just have to talk to you. I'm like, we're in the muck together working pulling these shifts. He's like he's he came up. He's like big man I'm sorry. Just have to talk to you. I'm just so happy And I'm like, what's going on scumbag? He's like, um, you are actually good at this He's like I think you're gonna have a career at this Because I've been so worried about what was gonna happen you after working shifts with you at Pizzabella I think there's something up there that's and I'm just so happy you can act I leave here happy He's a firefighter in Canada, but he had to have that moment where after working with me you legit thought something was very wrong with me

Yeah, well considering Considering that you were leaving that it's just the pizza Bella ending It's very interesting to hear your take on how to be the employee like you the duties that they told you to do Which is the job essentially you started to view what did you think mattered and that? Seems to be what got pizza Bella shut down outside like it was garbage You just threw pizza on the ground and rats. I hate it. You can't on the ground and rouncing it you can't yeah it was an alley he thought it was an alley he viewed it as an area that needed to be cleaned you saw it differently you just threw garbage there dude well you know there's there's eric now and eric pre-jess okay and what's the difference

a massive difference there's a big difference a A massive difference. Thank God for that woman. You know what? You could take a guy out of the pizzeria, but you can't take the pizzeria out. He puts on a nice face for that wife of his, and things are going good. He's the same rat inside. I'm still selling tennis machines. Karroth is still running around the lot as Raj.

And your juicy ass is trying to sell cars, Steve. We are who we are. We could change as much as we could change, but there's not that much farther from Eric throwing pizza dough up going like this. It's the rats dough now, brother. I view it as an alley. I view it as an alley Is incredible It's not an alley and this is what you wouldn't have

Thank you That's right. You're gonna have World War two I believe he was in the shit purple hearts and that's the thing if we're competing against like Charles journeying and those we're not all right I leave heart and I'm glad I trust Garrett yeah I think it's great it's great to have it's great that you you view our ancestors You're okay. We're okay. We're doing good. We're all right Eric's biggest AI concerns that I heard today were that they're gonna take our acting jobs not like a computer But it's gonna be old actors in two that is Chinese food is gonna be cooked by robots. Yeah Stevie what's your biggest fears coming up? actors and two, that is Chinese food is gonna be cooked by robots. Yeah. Ernie Borgner. Yeah.

Stevie, what's your biggest fears coming up? If Eric is afraid that dead actors are gonna take it to work and robots are gonna cook our Chinese food. In terms of AI? No, just in terms of goofiness, I know that that's real, Eric, and I hear it. I hate seeing that there's a robot diner in Pasadena and people are lining up being like, it flips my burgers. What the fuck? Who cares? Is he going to fake punch your face? No, I am not into this. I'm like, no, no, no.

But Stevie, what are the ones that jump out to you? Where, where's your head at? What do you want to get too dark? So I'll try to think we're not getting Expert on this shit. You're an absolute expert an expert. What else is he? I'm a 510 professional athlete with a broken body professional athlete with a broken body. Could have been. Could have been. Well, my fat ass can barely get up. I'm obese, Eric.

Now you just... The scan says I'm obese, god damn it. No way. We got to finish that story before we go today. Okay, but I want to hear Stevie's and then I want to hear yours too. My biggest immediate fear of the day is that there is a potential very severe storm moving in with you know Tornadoes heavy winds hail and that is going to destroy The hours I put into my vegetable garden. What's going on with that garden? What are you? What are you growing?

I got six tomato plants a bunch too many tomatoes Maybe too many a bunch of little tomato plants, a couple of eggplant plants, hot peppers, I got habaneros, serranos, I got lettuces, I got zucchini, blueberries. I can see you having a nice fuckin' touch with that soil. I'm pretty good, I know, honestly I'm pretty good. I spend a lot of time, I go in the evenings, I listen to a little jazz music, take a little toky toke,

and I'm out there pruning my things, I love it. I have like a mentor too, a neighbor mentor who's this artist, old hippie guy named Colin who's great and he eats good food. He's like Eric, Eric is dying. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric.

Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric.

Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric happen in one year. Well, you want to hear mine? You know, I do. You know, mine are bad. Mine are bad. Mine are dark. Mine are darker than anyone's.

Well, keep it on a level that's not dark. I can't. Well, let's hear. Well, I mean, we'll see if we can crawl our way out of it. No, it's gonna be... I mean, there's a lot going on as far as like natural disasters in America. The heating all over the world. I'm like, this is not good. I mean, there's a lot going on as far as like natural disasters in America, the heating all over the world. I'm like, this is not good.

Are you still not flying because of COVID? I don't. It's not. I don't know. I fly and it's not because of COVID that I don't fly. I don't fly because I hate flying and it's easier for me to tour the way I want to tour in a van, which is not great either. But flying is getting worse and worse

It's not like fun. The experience of flying is not getting any better won't get any better No, it's so I like I really don't miss it. I've seen His tour bands amazing by the way, yeah Eric will like this it has a hot plate you can know doesn't Van is interesting. Well, by the way, we're talking about maybe doing like mobile home. We're thinking there you go. I love an RV, man. I love an RV. RV is a Jake. I can see you in an RV.

I'm pretty sure it's going to happen. It's the way to do it. It is, but it depends on Gareth if you have a place to park it at home. Yeah, well, we do have some of this. Yeah, yeah, no, we have somewhere where we could definitely park it. Do you have to pay for that all the time?

No. Okay, then you're golden. Dave could park it. Dave would take it. Oh, really? Dude, you gotta get, an RV with a fridge, you can keep a cold pizza in there?

What would be the downside of getting, I took an RV up to Vancouver during the pandemic. I had a job up there and I got an RV. We went up there and drove from here to Vancouver. It was the best. How was driving it? I mean, it's big. But once you get in the groove, what's really fun about it is you'd be in bumper. We got stuck in a storm. We were in bumper to bumper traffic and I literally just turned the car off went back took a piss came back Turn the car on kept driving It was a crazy feeling Like what are you doing? I'm like going to the bathroom my wife's like idiot. I'm like

A couple of honks, babe. We're not pulling a hook. Live through a couple of honks. Fine. Watch me. The boat keeps going. We're golden. What's stopping you on this RV? Because you got some shooters here who could help look for one. Would you get used? No, we're used and not much is stopping us.

We're starting to really think about the differences. Like when I go to stand up, the club pays for the hotel. Okay. So they would pay you for that. Well, not necessarily. I mean, I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going about the differences. Like when I go to stand up, the club pays for the hotel. Okay. So like for my stuff for that, well, not necessarily. But the dollop ones, we pretty much book our hotels on our own.

So that's where we go. Okay. Well, there we're just saving money. Yeah. How big is it going to be? Because a lot of them have one bed. It would be the ones we've been looking at are definitely at least two bed. So pretty big. Yeah big Oh, it would have a fridge in there. Of course. That's that my van is a fridge in it. You're

Technology you could have a fridge in your car Steve man Steve the you need a personal chef on the tour Look no further than old Steve-O here. I mean, do you have anyone who would endorse you? I don't know. I, I, I need a recommendation. Right. Thank you. There's my boy right here. Is way around sesame oil. That's true. I do. We've been gone for over an hour. Let's get out of here. Well, wait, Jake,

finish the story about the art about the scan in the van. You didn't finish that from the last session. You were going to get a scan in a van. Oh, yeah. So I'm gonna do it more often, too. It was, I highly don't recommend it and recommend it. Okay. Because you can't hide from numbers. Oh, boy. And. He's been saying this since he was two. Those are the you can't hide from numbers. Oh boy.

He's been saying this since he was two. Those are the first words out of his mouth. After I did my first breastfeeding, the first words were, you can't hide from numbers. That's Jake on the car a lot with us. You can't hide from numbers. But you just can't. So I've been lifted, you know, I'm getting stronger.

I feel pretty good. We both know Eric and I are going with Rudy Garcia. We're moving it. So all of a sudden he would say things like, you can't outwork a bad diet. And I would say things like, try me. Steve and I were talking on the phone about this. Maybe we can, maybe I can eat a pound of spaghetti if I want to,

but I'll just take a big old hike and move some weights around and it's all gonna come out in the wash. Well, that's not the case. That's not the way the human body works. And so I always thought one in the same. It's not. It's diet and it's not.

It's diet and it's exercise. And so I finally go to this scan, there's a line of people going in. I will say most people were in exercise clothes. I was wearing slacks and a t-shirt and I did feel weird about that. But a lady gets in there with stretch pants on, little yoga pants and t-shirts, she gets in the van,

10 minutes later she pops out. A guy goes in there with little shorts and a tank top, pops out. I go in there with slacks and a t-shirt, and I don't know what to expect. I don't feel unsafe, cause of Jiu Jitsu probably, Gareth. No, no, no.

Oh, here we go. Hang in the pocket, keep going. Safe for him. You're in a little cage with me? You're in a cage with me? No, he's in a cage. He's in a stand van. Because you're eating too much spaghetti. You made the mistake to get in a cage with me, Jack.

No, he's a guy with a van stand. Two men enter, one man leaves. No, you'll be the guy leaving. Two guys enter, two guys leave. Two guys enter, one guy leaves humbled because he's got a possible piece. You, because you got bad numbers. The worst numbers. Leave guys enter one guy leaves humbled The worst numbers so I go to the scan the scans easy what it's just what like there's

Over your entire body up and down The guys like a camera kind of thing. Yeah. Well, yeah like it. Yeah, the guy then touches you a little bit. The guy touches you? Oh, wait, hold on. Oh. Hold on. You didn't tell me this on the phone. He said he loved you. He said he loved you, a new girl. No, he said, if you tell anybody about this, I'll kill you. I really like to do everybody's, too. Let's Be Cops was so funny.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Where'd you find out about this? Craigslist. Dude, who's free, man? He was a fan. He touched me a little bit. It's got to get you to figure my life.

It's got a C letter grade in the window. Wait, wait, wait. Extrapolate in the window. Wait, wait, wait. Extrapolate on the whole, the touching part. What does this entail? Yeah, please Jake. Pushing in between my butt cheeks a little bit, squeezing my titties, pulling my arms down, stretching my legs. Wait, why is he pinching your butt cheek? I think that's part of the thing. You idiot. No, I don't think this is, I think you've got taken for a ride. My friend. This is how you do a body scan. Hold on. I gotta

grab your butt cheeks before you scan. Make sure you know, all the fact that one of these I've I want to have one. I've never had one Well, you've not been insane touched by a stranger. This is not a stand, sir. You haven't done a guy in the van touching you. Like your work. But it wasn't for medical purposes. Yeah. No judging. Yeah. No, he didn't touch my butt, Stephen. There's no touching. Okay, well, Blink, if you're serious, if you want to talk off the air, I'm always here for you, brother. Guys, I wouldn't have a guy squeeze my butt cheeks and grab my titties. I mean, we all believed it. We've known you for a long time.

No, Gareth Shades. All your best buddies believed it. Why do you think I believed it? Why do you think I said to Gareth, have you ever had one? Because I knew he didn't believe it. Well, maybe we should bring it in for a landing, Jake. This has been a pretty good one. I agree.

I think I have, once again, brilliant performances. Everyone's really sticking to their character. I'm going to go, I'm going to order a big old sleeve of maxel 90 minute tapes I really thought you were ordering about how much macaroni Why would you not care about that that's like the most be the most interesting thing said today that is the most 50 pounds of mac and cheese he deserves it. I love you Eric. There's medicine in that back I even like Jake more when he does you Much I love you, Eric. There's medicine in that back. I even like Jake more when he does you We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at HelpfulPod at gmail.com.

And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash Here to Help Pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix and master by Chris Fowler. Themed song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strilecki, and if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.