We're Here to Help - 199: We're Here to Chat Vol. 3: Good Goofy Fun (with Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein)

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein stop by the show for an action-packed installment of We're Here to Chat featuring a glamor shot competition, a Steve Berg catfish attempt and a turtle owned by Burt Reynolds.The We’re Here to Help Van and Jake’s brother, Dan, will be at the Maren Morris concert at Ravinia on August 22nd. Meet fellow listeners, make some real-world connections, and be part of our first-ever fan meetup. Use code GILSENTME for 20% off reserved Pavilion seats at ravinia.org. Terms apply.See caller images here: http://www.heretohelppod.com/post/episode-199Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Volume 3. Wow. We're here to enable on that, guys. Come on. What is that mean? I don't think so, King. That's his issue?

See, look at the news. Eric, do you know what the premise of this show is? I know, but you've done some real help. I've heard other ones, and it's massive help. I think his family, there's a larger issue there. What's the larger, Dr. Fuggenberg over here. Now, we're talking about. the call that happened on our last episode

we just finished it about the guy who had the emotional support water bottle and Eric Eric takes issue with the level of how large of a problem this is. A guy who carries vegan cheese in his pocket. And sauce.

I'm like how that's your retort. I know. I don't have a leg to stand on you yet I'll still try. That's the magic of me. But what I will say for real, which is insane. And we sent this photo to Steve the day it was happening and we'll post it but Eric and I went to a Mexican

restaurant in Burbank and while we were there right before Eric pulled out pocket cheese and goes like brother we're eating good in there damn I died laughing I had never heard of somebody

carrying our own pocket cheese this is so good he's been doing it for a I mean I would really say about a decade is before he was a vegan. I remember, what was that breakfast place we went to in Burbank, Eric? Oh, Magnolia Grill. Magnolia Grill. I remember him like a decade ago

pulling up, and he even saying anything about it, he's like, do-to-do, do his omelet came, and all of a sudden he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? No. I don't know, I don't know pocket cheese is okay. No, because the pocket starts to melt at a tiny bit. That's where, that's kind of, no,

honestly, every person. part of it is, I'm okay with most of it, but it's it's that the squishy, melty factor of it. The bringing it out and having people see you is problematic, but if you can get over that, then that, there you go.

He doesn't care. He was doing it in front of, like, the server. Yeah, that, that's strange to me. And, but it's what the pocket does to the cheese that I find odd, that I agree with. I think that's the extra sauce. Yeah. It's hard to melt vegan cheese. That's why if you're melting at home,

you need to do a wet melt with steam and you cover it. Or just put it in your pants. Oh, yeah. If I'm going to Magnolia Griller Delia's, that little bit of pocket warmth only helps the situation because it's a chemical product. Oh, that's a bad egg. But now I'll do a soft cheese sometimes

and bring it in like a little Ziplot. Sometimes I can make eye contact with somebody I'm eating with that I know will really tease me for it. And they won't even notice I'm dropping all this cheese in. And my meal improves. I always notice. You always notice everything. Everyone notices.

It's pretty hard. I mean, you're taking out. You're not a subtle guy. It's a crap single, mind you. But I can walk in on someone. Yeah. But I can lock in on someone's eyes and tell a story and have them maybe not look down with the cheese.

No, because they're afraid. I did it at the smokehouse. Results. King. King. I'll be honest. I went with my two Fusco brothers from Twin Peaks and I did not want David Keckner to see me doing the vegan cheese or make fun of me,

even though he's a glorious man. And I actually told a. story and pulled vegan cheese out of a Ziploc and dropped it in without either of them noticing. Hold on. So you're doing slight a hand. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like a man like a magician. True. Stop this. You're the David Copperfield of your generation. Well, there's some problematic things. Well, maybe, yeah, you're right. Maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe not. I am Preskin, baby. Yeah. Okay. Eric, just because a man doesn't comment while you're steamrolling through a direct eye contact story doesn't mean they don't see your.

hand come out and you pour cheese on your food. I know you're an intense guy and you got great eyes and you tell a great story. Thank you. You can see other things around. It's not such intense tunnel vision that, man, Eric was telling me a story about some concert he went to from some 98-year-old guy playing the synthesizer and I didn't notice his hands cheesing his food. I just went, I don't know, I'm listening to this story. I'm keeping up. It's going a lot of places. And while he's telling the story, he pulled cheese out of his pocket, but he didn't stop talking for eight minutes, so I can't go back. Well,

the weirdest thing I've ever seen. I also think there's a chance, Jake, there's a chance that if you see someone do that, you think, whoa, I don't even want to go there. Exactly. I mean, that's exactly right.

I'm so worried. There was a slight look of fear in some people's eyes now that I look back, Eric. I was not on everything else are like, the story was that good or telling about going on Brian Wilson's bus and scaring was that interesting, maybe. What's the Brian Wilson story, Eric?

In my drinking era. I was at a Beach Boys show, got backstage, and I had a poster, and I was getting everyone to sign it. And then I was like, where's Brian? Like, oh, you missed me. He was on the bus. And I was feeling no pain and walked on that bus and totally scared Brian, but he signed the poster.

I mean, that's a poor man who has, who is a fragile to begin with. Imagine if you didn't know Eric, and, like, you came on your tour bus being a very fragile individual, and all of a sudden, the dragons in there. I mean, could I, will you sign my poster? Look, sir, I've been reading Catcher in the Rye. I'm not proud of it. These are reasons I don't drink now, y'all.

Got a cheese leak in his pocket. You know what Eric said after that story, results. You know, while Eric told us that story, he was putting cheese on something. Yeah, I guarantee you. You didn't even see it. It's very good. Eric and I used to go to this dim sum place in Chinatown, and they did not speak a lot of English at this place. And we would go in there and eat, and Eric would look at every server busboy that would come by here.

He'd go, Eric, go, hot oil, please. And no one had any idea what the hell they're talking about, because that's, like, not a thing they serve. I mean, he'd just go, hot oil, please. And they were just, they were truly baffled With the look of confusion on their face was terrific Well, what are you asking? You're asking for like a spicy oil? Chili oil.

Now you say chili oil, you get it. But the years of hot oil, it took me a while to make that adjustment. Hot oil. Yeah, but, Berg, does it make the dim sum? Does it make the dim sum? Look, it was, it was delicious, but like, you were incessant about asking for it. Anyway, I mean, people who didn't even work there, I think you were asking, like, do you know where the hot oil is? See, this is the revelation, because for years, I thought you were into the hot oil, too, because I'll tell you what, your ass ate the hot oil.

And I'm at Jesus, Edelstein, the only thing we're missing is hot oil. You're probably right. Seriously, dude, if you're willing to ask for more hot oil, I am willing to eat it. Big Daddy. Now, all of a sudden, the hot oil is an embarrassment. No, it's not. I'm just, the web we weave, Steve. Even.

Why do you think we call him 50-50? He'll go, I love the hot oil, but Jesus, he asked everybody. It was hilarious. But how good is the hot oil? It is great. I have some of my fridge. Both things can be true. It's the worst thing I've ever been a part of.

Steve came into my house years ago when my kids were first born, and my wife was making this bone broth thing for the kids. It was like a really healthy formula. It smelled so bad. And Aaron and I were in a big fight about it, because I'm like, our house smells so gross. And Steve walked in the house, and it was just me and him, and he goes like, Jesus, John, though.

Your house smells like a dirty locker. And I was like, I know, I hate it. He was like, yuck, I can't even be in here. And then Aaron walks in. And without missing a beat, he goes, hello, sweet, Aaron. And I just love coming into the house. I feel like it's Thanksgiving. It smells so lovely.

I was like, what the fucks? And he goes, I meant it when I was talking to her and I meant it when I was talking to you. I did. It's true. It's true. If it came from, if Aaron came to the door and it smelled like that, but oh, what's you making a little chicken needle soup? Yeah, that's what you did.

Yeah. That's the story. It was dirty. When it's generating from Jake, it's different. But he might have literally gone, what you make in chicken noodles? And Aaron was so tickled and I'm like, I just got a whole five minutes. about how my house smells like dirty sauce. He will turn on you so fast.

He's like all on your side until the other person. He also, an argument he'll make will cave so quickly. He'll be like, you've got to go in there and tell him exactly what you feel. And then you're like, yeah, but I'm worried about this. He's like, yeah, that could be career suicide. And you're like, wait, but I, what? Well, I'm willing to change my mind when I'm given new information. That's true.

I think that is a good trait. That's a great trait. I'm not going to dig my heels in the sand Jesus, guys I mean, I know nothing I'm just a big old dumb idiot with a list Oh, no, now you're playing Dicker we go

No, no The rest of you're not with us This audience doesn't buy Are you kidding? You're just looking to get comments, people being like, No, we love you, you're so sweet Please, Steve I'm just a dumb idiot with a list

And then a second later, I'm the star of these volume chats The other three guys talk a lot, but literally, I'm carrying the show. Hey, guys, I'm number one on the call sheet next time. Yeah, exactly. Is there any way I could get on before Eric and have him leave to have some space to breathe? What do you say we do 10 minutes, the three of us, then we bring Eric in? And what do you think we get in third of the three of us? Get rid of the two MTV Boys.

I'll open, then I'll bring out Jake. Then Eric and Gareth could close it out with us. Yeah. How do you just do it? Wait, we have a guest? Yeah. Yeah, I have a guest that's here waiting to tell you guys a story. Yes.

Oh, my God, I do know about this. I'm so sorry. You asked me. I activated this. You have like five things that you asked me to bring up during this. I know. I get, you know, the way my brain works, I get excited. But then the problem is, I'm just a dumb idiot with a Lisbon.

I forget everything. That's sadly true. Jake, we can talk about that later. We can talk about that later. Yeah, but I'm just a really sweet guy. I'm like a 20-year-old guy. I just forget everything. I have no confidence.

I'm so insecure. I just really want other people to shine. I just, I don't know. I'm just a little geeky dork, I guess. I love this, Jake. Yeah, this is fun. God. Yeah.

But Steve, you're going to think this is another prank, and I'm okay that you think that you think that. And the reason I'm bringing her on is because. Look at his face. We got, I don't know anything about this besides the email. I don't know if this is going to be funny. I know this starts going to be very funny to me, but I asked her to do a move to double check, and it didn't work out so far,

but so Natalie, will you bring her in? This was just an email the show got. Okay, okay. And she's got her video too, correct? Yeah. Hi, Liz. Hello. So, Liz, will you tell us why you emailed in

and walk us through what happened? Sure, sure, sure. So I was, you know, perusing the dating apps in Chicago and came across a profile, a man named Tim. But the photos looked a little bit familiar, and I realized he was catfishing using Steve Berg's photos. Natalie, will you send us the photos? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And then keep going to the other pages, 5'10.

sometimes drinks no smoke he's a man open to kids don't have kids you're in yoga concert vegetarian gas I think this is actually Steve yeah we're busted Steve burner

on phone what do we do Steve's way bigger than 510 I'm 6 4 he's 6 4 he picked a great picture there wow with Jack Black in Chicago

crop out Jack Black went on by the way oh wow with the beaver hair that's why I believe this is really Steve because he's putting the beaver hair out there Yeah, my hair was really...

The Bieber era was insane. But he left enough of Jack's face to let the person know this guy. Yeah, exactly. Smart, by the way. Smart for being honest. This is amazing. So, Liz, you emailed in, and then I emailed you back, correct?

You did, yes. And I said, will you please come on the show? Or I don't remember what I said. I knew I was dying. I wanted to just text all you guys this. Jake, way to go. I was like, I'm not... I would text Steve this right now,

but I'm like, let's just do this on the show. This is so good. This is one of the most flattering things. It's insanely flattering. It is. Yeah, so you're hung. So what happened, Liz?

Well, yeah. So I was hoping we could maybe do like a prank or something. But the problem is that, you know, you have to each swipe right on Bumble in order to match. And this man who won't even show his face will not match with me. Well, Liz, this guy's hanging out with Jack Blam. I know. Yeah, that's not true. But here's what you can do.

Maybe we could create a cat, we could bumble him back with a catfish. It's going to be hard. It's going to be hard. Okay, it is. How come? Why? Well, you have to randomly come across his profile again. Well, Liz, you can't put it.

You can't find him directly. Liz, you would have to start it or have like one of your married friends started like in the area because it's going to be location based. Right. Yeah, it would have to be in Chicago and, yeah, I mean, we could potentially try it, but also, you know, I don't know if maybe he's not even active on this profile. I don't know what he's going to get from, you know, it's not like he's meeting up with people. I don't think of his face isn't on the profile. So I don't really know what his game is or why he has the profile. Yeah, I wonder what the motive is.

I don't know. Just to mess with people? I don't know what it would be because Dave, right? But then wouldn't he match with everybody? Like, wouldn't he match with me just to mess with me? Yes. I don't know. I don't know.

I would think that he, look, first of all, Steve, you are exactly right. This is high praise. To have your picture used, this is big. This is big. You should feel like big shit right now. You are catfish. I'm on top of the world right now, guys. You're a model.

Look at you. Well, I did do some modeling work for H&M back in 2000, too. Let's come back to Earth. And so this is a big thing. This is what I would say, Liz. Just let's throw out a Hail Mary prayer. If you could have someone, we could just, you know, figure out a picture. We could figure out who we want.

But if you start one with what we think Tim's type is, and maybe we get him on the line and maybe we can boat him. Maybe we can get him on board. If we could get him to some time. I mean, if you could help us, Liz, any way you think. I'm willing to put the effort in. That would be great. I can just, I think just use a separate email.

Would it be stupid to like, like either through AI or Photoshop, like take some other pictures of me and make them put like long hair and a flowy dress and then catfish him like that's like a female. Well, Steve, we have different goals. I mean, I think what we're dealing with right now is opposing wants. Yours is to see what a lady you would look like, which is a fun thought experiment for sure. that's assuming he picked you because he's attracted to him and is looking to the female

logic's weird brother hell of the leap I'm sorry buddy I'm here to help pocket cheese jump ship I think we just found Steve's burner and he's terrified and he's doing the job of his lifetime right now I think we could start one

and let's just throw it out there Liz, I mean, do you or maybe, I don't know if you don't want to be associated with her or whatever, but we should just try to catfish back. And what I would do is through all the things that we see here, all the likes and all the, those things, tag those so we have the common thread. Obviously, the stuff you put on there matched with this person. So maybe just kind of copy your profile and let's see if we can get a match. It's unlikely, but holy hell, if we can do it.

If it happens, Liz, that's massive. It would be amazing. I'm thinking maybe I can, you know, enlist a group of friends and we all create a profile. This is awesome. This is awesome. That's a group of people. People will do it.

And, you know, I just say, look for this profile, try to match with it. And even like, you know, I just swiped right. And if you hit that star button, it's like a super like. So maybe if I super liked the profile,

they would actually be. Perfect. That's the move. So, because I also say as a guy who's watched 140 episodes of catfish. I love the show, by the way. What did you think of Cammy, the host?

I liked her. I thought she was great. Yeah, I thought she was great too. I liked all their most thing at it, like Max too. Max was great, Max was great,

but I think Cammy took it to another level, but that's not about this. I think there's something about catfishing that you got to get exposed. I agree. Yes. And if this turns into a catfish runner, Liz,

if your friends get in it, we could have you guys all back on. We would love to talk to the other ladies. We'd love to find the photos as a group. Maybe we'll have you on for a few of these chats with us. Okay. Sounds great. We'll turn this into a little PI investigation.

Let's bust this guy because I would like him to have to meet Steve. I would love it. That would be the best. You know, you have great taste. This is what would be fucking incredible. What would be incredible is we match him, we get him, we lure him, we set up this date in whatever capacity we can, and we fly Berg out to this area. And Berg goes to meet him. Hey, hey, sailor.

By the way, we could film that. be a blast. That would be amazing. I would do it in a second. King, how hot are you right now that it's not your photos? Go ahead. I'm a little hurt. I'm a little hurt, but I don't have hair like that. I don't have what Berg's got on a dating pool. I'm more of like you meet and then I kind of like, oh, interesting. Okay, maybe. No. Mediacy, you pick Steve. That's not true. Look at it. I don't, I think your hair is fucking rocking these days, bro. I love it. I do love it. I love it. Just don't do the high and tight shave again, the Eric, high and tight. Oh, I'm tempted. It's getting hot.

I know it is. Don't do it. Like a dog. Oh, my God. And you with a full beard is amazing. But Eric is like a golden retriever who's got this like beautiful long hair. And then when he gets hot, he shaves it down. You're like, golden retriever shouldn't be shaved down. No. He's like, brother, it feels good. And that's what my wife, the dog rumor says, too. She doesn't like it either. I know. I've talked to her about it. She wants the Victor French look and who can blame her.

It looks great. Well, Eric, well, uh, uh, uh, uh, I doubt that's a quote. I doubt if she said, give me the Victor French. No, she says it in bed. Give me the Victor Rats. Yeah.

I'll just turn up the highway to heaven team. And he puts on an A's hat. Oh, I have that hat. I should have won it today. I'll wear it next episode, I promise. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace. Look, you know what it is.

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Go to quince.com here to help for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash here-to-help to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash here to help. Liz, so we're calling it a page now. We had a call her page who came in and she just crushed it. She took the lead and she made choices. So I'm asking you to please page this. Enlist your friends, get going, make some moves and come back on,

and then let us know where you're at. Yep, we'll do. Don't worry about making choices. See what happens. You're right with the super likes. I'll go to Chicago and meet this guy. Incredible. It would be, I mean, I cannot imagine the look on this dude's face.

That would be the best end goal. It really would. Liz, thank you so much for bringing up. Liz, this was awesome. Yeah, of course. Thank you for having me on. And it really made my day, Liz. Thank you.

You're very welcome. Thanks for having me. Thanks, Liz. Bye. Bye. Stephen Berg, the heartthrob. Well, well, well, well. New era.

I might go, well, it makes me, you know, I've been toying with the idea of hiring a photographer for me to lay on a Corvette. And now I think we're going to do that. Wait, that poor hood. Actually, you owe Gareth and I a photo shoot from some stupid bet years ago. I know exactly what bet it was. What was it? It was the bet where we bet on a playoff game that it had already happened. already happened.

And the he bet the Texans to beat the Bengals on a game that had already had happened. Oh, no. And I came, Jake texts me and I come in and I go,

everyone's going Houston, babe. It's Bengals. And Burr goes, that's what I'm thinking. And he's like, Jeff and Iran. And then the game,

the game was over. But Eric, you were with us. We went to Derek's house and we were watching the games and they would show highlights of the game that just happened. I have photos of it.

He would just staring at the sky. I'll text Gareth, and I'd be like, it's going to be blown right now. And Gareth would be like, patience, me. But the amount of time you guys have absolutely nailed into the wall. But the loser of that bet, well, and we just never made you do them, because there was another one where you were going to have to take a Zumba class. Zumba.

Yeah. And we didn't make you do that one. Well, you know, maybe it's time to make running these bits. I think glamour shots. The photo shoot, which was really fun, was you have to take glamour shots and you can't try to be funny, you're trying to look as hot as possible. By the way, they still do...

That's what I'm looking at up right now. Natalie, will you show the photo of Gareth? Yeah, there's a place in Korea town. That does them. It's animal. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Garrett, I don't have it on my computer.

Garrett literally just did this, but not in a joke. There are glamour shots. Stop changing the subject, Young King. I'm going to send a bunch of links you to click on. Stop. We're going to get to that, Young King. Oh, my God. Where is. is this picture. Now I can't find it.

Well, that's the end of the app. So thanks everybody. Oh, no, I got it. I got it. If there's glamour shots at Omaha, I'll go do it. Gareth paid for a photo shoot. I did not pay. I did not pay. Who paid? The photographer asked me to come in and do it for it. It looks like you have really bad scoliosis. I do. It was for a, uh, it was for a, uh, it was for a, uh, there was a flood coming

out of guessing. You were Mississippi, Oxford area? Why are you all crooked? Why are he such a cutie? It was for a spine institute promo. Okay, assholes? Steve, yeah, I think it might be time for the photo shoot. It is, it is. Now there's a J.C. Penny in Omaha.

No, the J.C. Penny ones do them too silly. I don't want it to be ironic. I can direct it, though. Like, I can direct it. I can literally have, you know what, if you want, I can say it's for, like, something else, Jake or Gareth or both you can literally be on speakerphone saying like, yeah, this is for something else and you

can tell the photographer what to do it. Why don't we do this? Why don't we see if anybody in Omaha is a photographer? Yes. I mean, we have a photographer. Yeah, but see if somebody can reach out like somebody connected to the show. Because what I don't want is the JCPenny is the thing that

hipsters all do where they're like, it was amazing. We took family photo. You're like, you've all done the same bit. It's not funny. We need a place where he can dump water on himself. Yeah, because you need a fan. Like, I want you at your fucking sexiest. Yeah, like Fabio style. Yes.

Yeah, but not trying to be funny 80s, 90s, like, no, 20, like the way Gareth was in that, Gareth wasn't trying to be funny. He was wearing parachute pants and fake glasses, and he was being cute. It's a fun shoot. I had fun or to shoot. Excuse me. Sue me.

I want to see. I had fun of the shoot. I want to see the bird picks. I agree. Okay. Well, I mean, it's just we have to find the right photographer because you don't want them to be like too pretentious. And all of a sudden they're like, no, that's like too goofy. They'll be like, you know, I agree.

We want to who gives no direction. And I think the best way to do it would be to hire a photographer and say like, hey, this isn't for me. This is actually for a job. And the producer is going to be on the phone. And that way you can explain it to them. I think that's fair. We'll do it as a Zoom. Yeah.

I think. The way the agency will be on a Zoom. One of us should direct it. It could also be Eric and then reveal the picks. Eric will be doing just a nice thing. Eric's going to make me look great. I love you, brother. Just whatever you want.

You're perfect. All right. And then, later to me, you'll text me. We should have roasted it, man. You know, this is what we should do. That's so fucking good. My God, we could have killed him.

And then I'm going to hit. Here's what we do. Stop texting me. You kill it. We just did it the other day about something. Jake, you and I each get like 20 minutes. or whatever to direct our own shoot and then we reveal them

and present them to Eric who picks who directed a better glamour shots with Steve. That is the perfect idea. Yeah, that works. I won't be on when you're on, you're not on what I'm on. We don't see each other's picks

till after. The goal is, and you know what we'll do? We'll do my brother's website we need to pick. The audience will vote on not what's funnier. Yes. What's sexier? Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. And I think we're allowed to work with the talent because I think we're allowed to individually talk to Steve and go like, Where's our zone here, babe?

Like, how are we winning? I take direction very well. My first instinct is you as like a fucking tiger crawling towards the camera. I love it. I have a completely different take, but go ahead. Are you fucking sweaty? I want jungle vibes.

I mean, I'm going to be sweating. I'm sweating right now. Don't say anything else. Don't say anything else. Because I have an idea, too. Mine's also dead sexy. Give me just your pitch because we both know it's going to change.

I want him a little dusty and dirty and he's a cowboy. I was thinking out in rural Nebraska Not in Omaha like on a dusty road Like next to corn I want him on a dusty road Like a sexy farmer Or a ranch hand

I actually might want him In the very similar vibe that you had Gareth I want him in like cute glasses And like making the band outfit You don't want like a country shoot Like I want you in like you're in a pop a boy band And you're like the sensitive one I mean to sing it's gorgeous

How about how about he's the one with the list in the boy band? Okay, Garrett. What? That's, but I will say, Jake,

that's too close to the real me. I don't disagree. I think, I think, like a, kind of like a ranch hand farm boy vibe. Why don't the three of us?

Wait, Eric, are you going to play along? Are you just going to be nice to Steve? I'll get him. I'll put his ass in the friar. Okay. So that's the three of us.

If it's just you guys being, kissing each other's butts and saying how great the other guy is just it's what's the point no point okay so if you're but the goal is one of us is going to win sex is not to make steve look bad it's the audience is going to vote where they go like i got to say that's the sexiest i've ever seen steve work i agree i agree the three of us the the three of us get a shoot we get a window of time and we get to direct and wardrobe and One caveat I will say like No

I don't need to be in anything too skippy It's not about that No well I will say you are allowed to say no So I can't say you're in a thong We're not going to humiliate you I don't want to you have not a thong You have every right to say no to stuff You have to work with talent

Yes thank you Gareth just said pasties See already I'm at the win I mean I might actually fucking put you kitchen cooking like fucking spaghetti. No shirt pasties.

Yeah. I would have a shirt. I mean, this could lead to a lucrative only fans career for me. By the way, if anybody's interested in only fans for Steve, email the show. Yeah.

We'll make it happen. I can't wait for your only fans. Oh, Steve Berg feet picks. Yuck. Hey, there's someone out there that will pay. That's the thing. There's a margin for every business. I agree, man.

Come on. Eric, look, you texted me, Eric, the other day. I know I'm jumping around fast. You're going back to Dickie Van Dyke? Well, I've had it back and forth. I made the decision to try to get my money back for the show. So, guys, this is not a joke. No.

You're done with Vandekep? You're done with Vandycamp? I just stuck in my craw because I'm like, when did they know? We drove all the way to Malibu. My buddy, I went, will not let it go. And I was like, I should get my money back, or I would take tickets and drive out there again for a Dick Van Dyke's show if he can make it. And the guy said no at first.

He's like, no, we very clearly have. Quick pause. I've sent the emails. Oh, I was a little, I wasn't my best self here. Natalie, will you go to the top of this, please? I wasn't my best self. So Eric, will you read Eric, Gareth, will you read this poor man? I wasn't.

The bottom is like the earliest, so then we're a scroll up to the latest. So it starts with Eric. All right. You want me to read Eric? Yes. Hi, Eric. No, Eric is Eric.

Okay. You are Chris. Okay. Oh, man. And Eric, do the tone that you thought about while you were writing it. Okay. I was a little ang, so I'll have that, but trying to couch it. Hi, friends.

Just checking in on the refund for Vandy Camp. Thank you, Eric. Hi, Eric. Chris here. Thanks for reaching out with regard to the Vandy Camp event. As a reminder, these Vandycamp presentations are charity events for the benefit of the forthcoming Dick Van Dyke Museum, currently in development, and the Dick Van Dyke Endowment of the Arts. When customers purchased tickets, it was stated that there are no refunds. Underlined. And that all sales are final. Underlined. We are all disappointed that Mr. Van Dyke was not able to perform due to an unforeseen health issue.

but the rest of the variety show performers did perform, including Arlene Van Dyke and the Fantastics. I would like to think that despite Mr. Van Dyke's absence that you enjoyed the Vandy Camp Festival experience and the show that many worked hard to perform and produced for you. Also, we are currently planning the next VandyCamp event, which will keep you informed about. Thank you again for your patience and understanding.

Please feel free to reach out to me here if you have any questions or comments, sending you my very best, Eric, quick pause. Your thoughts when you got this? I was pissed. Also, I should say I paid for like the VIP closed seat. So I'm into this thing for $300 and I can't. What?

Jesus Christ. I can't even charge my friend. Well, we were supposed to be up close for the magic of a 99-year-old band singing and dancing. Jesus, you drove to a Malibu High School to see a 9-year-old high school to see a 99 year old. I did. Yeah, I did. And I kept thinking about it. And I thought there'd automatically be a link for me to get my refund back. I don't disagree with that. I started to get more frustrated because my gut says they knew Dick wasn't going to be able to perform that day. And then they still tried to throw up a show and keep the money. Throw up. But it is a charity

thing and they do say no refund. It is. And you would think a normal person would get that, read the charity, other people working hard, kind of get those buzzwords and calm down. but sometimes I'm not my best self sometimes I don't do my 99% of the time you are That's why I think this is okay King responds to this But you're we're getting a look at the 1% that's petty

And I'm glad I guess I'm glad we have it out here Because this is the guy these guys see I'll tell you what I do like seeing Some of the stuff in the email already I'm not happy about myself here This wasn't great This is this is Can we all stop stop?

Can we all stop doing this I'm just an instinct here victim. I'm a good guy. I didn't know we were doing this. I know it. Just pretend we're in a restaurant. There's not an audience. Can we stop? This isn't my best self. I'm so insecure. Sorry, Jake. Let's not pretend it's

a restaurant because cheese will be coming out. No. You would not be saying that in a restaurant. You would say what you said to me via text. And that was, he fucked me. You did fuck me. You did. That's what we're talking about. You did. This guy screwed you.

Eric got fucked me. Eric got fucked by a 99-year-old legend. All right, it's okay. Go ahead. Oh, God. Chris, thanks for getting back to me, but we paid for a ticket for Dick Van Dyke. Cheers.

With all due respect, I did not enjoy Vandy Camp, and then it's surprised you won't offer a refund. We left halfway through when it turned into Stu interviewing audience members. There was a huge line of upset people, and they told us we would be refunded. This cost us a ton.

I flew in a friend to see. and that's a lie. That's a lie. I picked up Mark Gagliardi in North Hollywood. Why did you say flu, King? Heighten. I went up by the best of self here. I actually would have done the same thing. Yeah, you've got to add a little bit.

Because you're not asking for a flight refund. A guy flew in from Belgium. Another guy flew in from London to meet Dick Van Dyke. And the guy from London was not happy. He's all over the Instagram comments. I'm letting you know. I'm not alone on this rock. Wait, while we're paused,

could I just point out my favorite part so far? We left halfway through when it turned into Stu interviewing audience members. Well, that was the other thing is there was an emcee that was, there were a couple great bands that played

and he stopped him after two songs. He's like, I wish we could do it. He did a raffle that would not end and he brought a pitch from the crowd and he teased him and made fun of him. Like if a girl, if a seven-year-old was slow-doin-answered like, that's today's education system for you.

And I'm like, I can't believe I'm watching this guy and that they knew Dick wasn't coming out. And then he just turned it into like, Dick's not here. We're going to go to audience members and send that message to Dick. And my best self, we left. And I lied about flying my friend in. That's okay. The fact that they're not having you emcee these events is such a great opportunity. I'd love to do it. And I never make fun of an emcee. But the way this guy was with kids, it was really, I just didn't enjoy it. And I was like, I can't believe I'm here.

You are one of the best emcees in the game, Eric. But keep going. This costs us a ton. I flew in to see him. And they keep going. I mean, seeing Arlene sing, in quotes, chitty, chitty bang, bang, and stew make volunteers from the audience uncomfortable was not what we paid for. All sales may be final for a Dick Van Dyke show, but that goes out the window when Dick Van Dyke doesn't show up. I would be very open to a show without Dick to honor him, but would not be Stu kicking musical acts off after two songs to do a never-ending raffle. Sorry, man, please refund me. I'd prefer not to escalate this. It sucks.

Not your fault, but please refund me today. Cordially, Eric. So I won't say this, Eric. I have not read this until now. But I just, I knew it was going to be gold. All I wrote back to you was like, he fucked you or something. Or probably, like, wow, this is even better than expected. It couldn't be better.

And the fact that at the end, after that email, he goes, cordially. me. I am dying to hear what Chris responded to that. Has Chris responded? Yes. Oh, please read this. Hi, Eric. We are working on a reschedule with Mr. Van Dyke. Stand by. I'll have more info within the next 48 hours. Best, Christopher. Okay. That was July 24th. Okay. All the same day. Then Eric goes. Thanks, Chris. I appreciate that. I am a crazy person and go out there again for a chance to see him. Is that how it ended? And then he wrote back after that. Eric, that's not crazy at all. Dick has never missed a show before.

Great. He was nicer to me than I had any business getting. By the way. The shittiness in the tone of those emails, I look at him now. They're not that bad. No, they're not. I don't think it's that bad. Yeah, the guy's 99.

Yeah, but you pay 300 bucks or 300 bucks, that's a big. I mean, like, if you're letting someone pay $300 for a Dick Van Tike show, you better have a backup player. That's thievery. Yeah, it is thievery. Yeah. Oh, bless you guys. To be fair, most... Or some would say you're enabling a crazy person.

Either way, thank you. But what happened? So where are we at now? I have not heard back. There's not been a show announced. I will go back out there again and report back to we're here to chat to try it again and go out to Malibu again. And I would take two more tickets. And if no shows again, I will just take the loss.

I'll tell you, you've got to document it. Oh, yes. You've got to record stuff. We'll document this. Sorry, would you say Jacobus? Next one, I'll come with you. No. Yeah.

Oh, that'd be huge. Also, Jake, I think we should see Frankie Valley in the fourth season. I do, too. Okay. Jay! I don't believe it, but all the shows have a friend that you, I know. This close to Johnny Prime, we're going to see Frankie Valley and a night of elder abuse. But I'm really excited.

Jake, Jake is in for this. Oh, wow. Because those emails made me so happy, and I don't think you were a crazy person. No. I think, I love you guys so much. $300. because he Christopher came really aggressive with it's not going to happen and the reality is if you do present a product and it's not right he knows it wasn't right now what he could say is like the money spent my king like let's figure something out but he came very clear like as if he is some institution that's unmovable he's throwing on a weird camp with a 99 year old guy man and then you go like if it's for charity what percentage goes to the charity, how much is in your pocket, Chris?

So how about the money? Chris is in profit. Hey, Chris, the money that goes in your pocket, can I get that back? Let's just, I'll give it all the charity. Or give it back to me and I'll donate it. Oh, I love it. And I think you can feel good about the fact that at some point soon, a 99-year-old Dick Van Dyke is probably in bed, enjoying rest,

and Chris has to go in there with a stick and prod him and tell him to get up and fight through whatever he's feeling, all the pain. Because he's afraid of some guy named Eric. of pills because a guy named Eric Edelstein is not accepting that his money's going to charity. He wants a goddamn show. He had

a friend take an imaginary flight to Malibu to go see him at a high school. Dick is literally looking at the white light thing finally and then he's getting dragged out by Chris. No, no, no. One more day. One more show Dick that you can do. He's dancing

to the light. Just dance for me. Pulling him back down. And we were brought to you by Kachava. Oh, boy. I love Kachava. This is the best protein powder I've ever had without question. It has the best taste.

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that I've been making mistakes not experiencing this stuff with you. Oh, bloody. To my very soul. I think I've been making mistakes. Well, because here's what you would love the most is that moment getting in the car when Dick doesn't show.

And I'm not watching the show, Eric. I'm literally going to go to the Dick Van Dyke and watch you. The show is watching you watch the show. Will you please take a lot of, like, just let Audie. run the whole time. Oh, audio files.

You may as well just wear a wire. Well, you got a Donny Brasco? Yes, Donny Brasco is the whole thing. Video's fine, but honestly, having just the audio will be the best. The only problem is, and this is why I might not go. Oh, here we go. But here's why.

Here's why. I'm such a bitch about it that I'm going, it's going to be more about me and Herrick's vibe, because he's going to be going like, it's wonderful. And I'm going to go like, hour and 15 minute drive for this. Eric's got to use all his energy

just to get me out of pulling him down to mine and it might not be the dick he won't be mad at dick he'll be mad at me but it's worth it for us in terms of creating some great art like for us and your yeah fair enough

sometimes you have to sacrifice me I'm interested for sure in going to that one who's the old guy who is a mannequin out on stage with their pumping stuff Frankie Valde you keep some of those clips there's a few of them there's a few Now, while we're talking about getting out of our comfort zone, you know what I'd love to do. Glamour shots?

With you three. Of course, that's not saying. I would love to, when I'm out in California next time, go do a paranormal investigation and overnight with you guys. So Dick Van Dyke does what? He does it at a high school, Eric? Hey, come on. Did you say overnight? Yeah, you lost me in overnight.

Daddy needs a high red pound. I'm not going to go sleep in a cave to try and find a Yeti. No, no, I investigated a hotel over the weekend, and it was fantastic. Steve, you went to a hotel. A haunted hotel, and we did some investigation. I stayed in room 506 all by myself. All right. Steve, you're in your 40s.

I'm with you. I'm with you. I will stay in the room. Graham Parsons died in with you. We've done that. We've got to go on Newcomb. That is an option on the table. I've always, I'll be honest, I'm very scared of that stuff.

Derek and I once stayed in the room next to it, and we legit heard a bang at midnight, which could have been people fucking with us. But I've always been very scared of that room and I'm about getting over fears in this life. I will stay in the room Grand Parsons died in with you. Okay, I'll bring my... As long as we have our own beds and it's comfortable,

I'll bring my gear bags. Okay, I will do this with you, Steve, because it's something I'm not thrilled at myself that I'm actually scared of it and have never done it, and I think I might need to get through this. Let's get over it. As usual, it starts as a bit making funny,

but I end up being in. You'll love it. Jake and Gareth will clam me the whole night and pretend they're ghost. And then Jake will get scared. Jake will eventually get really scared. I'm going. I'm leaving.

It's funny because... It's because of the fucking blankets. And then Eric will leave with me and I'll appreciate it. Oh, yeah. I already know I'm scared. I'm already scared of it. But then I'll get so paranoid about walking to the car

where it's like, I'm not a fucking afraid of the ghost. I'm afraid someone's going to kill me. I'm going to get robbed. With Gareth, I'll just ply Gareth with wine and he'll be too drunk to drive, so he'll have to stay with me. You're never too drunk to drive, first of all. Hi-oh! Hey-oh!

I like the idea that Eric is afraid he'll see a ghost that he's paying $300 to go see a 99-year-old. I like this side of the mortal coil. By the way, you just almost saw a ghost a couple weeks ago. He's a ghost twice a week. Yeah. He's a ghost sing songs from the 50s. He's going to go see the ghost. Frankie Valley

I mean he probably is a ghost I mean have you seen him on stage it's so sad it is such abuse it's such abuse how are people okay with that because there's there's guys like Eric paying guys like Christopher

God Eric is going to take over Christopher's job Eric is Christopher Eric is Christopher wait Eric who was the who was the I was telling Gareth on a call. What was the trench coat

you were wearing for a while again? Oh, God. That was amazing. My wife and I, Jess, is into estate sales. And we went... You're into a state. You asshole.

Shocker. I'm usually not because ain't nothing fits the big man. That's fair. But it was like Sunday deep, deep in the nice area of Encino and it was Manix. Mike Connors,

actual name, Ohanian, Armenian legend, Mike Connors. Garrett, do you have any idea who this is? I've heard the name. I'm going to give a quick look right now. Watch Manix.

I'm not going to watch it out of Google. No, I promise you, you'll love Manix. Season 1, the musical guest, Buffalo Springfield, Neil Diamond, cancel Christmas. It's so good. Like a year and a half ago, I was out in L.A. And I was staying with Eric, and he had that thing on the entire time. And I will say, in the all jokes side, he looked awesome in it. He did.

It's Japanese rainwear. It is a really nice trip. So we walked in the state sale, and there was the area where his clothes were, and then three or four people, it goes, oh, it's fat hands. And they weren't upset. And then he was a giant big guy. And so I found this Japanese rainwear. It had his used tissues in a bed bath and beyond receipt for an orthopedic pillow. And it was, I got his trench coat Japanese rainwear.

I got some loafers. It was probably a burgl bag. When I travel with Manix's duffel bag, do you know how good I feel? I have the Manix theme in my head going through an airport. What is the theme? Dun-D-D-D-D-Dun-D-D-Dun-D-D-D-D-D. He could be making it up.

I've always thought somebody should do Manix now and have Jake Johnson play it. It's so good. Oh, this just got real. All right now. No, no. Manix is classic. It's so good.

Way out of its time. His boss, the first season, is basically, a computer. Eric, this is 2020. I'd love to play the computer voice. No. You just booked. You should be so lucky. I'm sorry.

I'm doing a system update. Right? An adorable computer voice. I found some nude pictures of my computer from a podcast. It's going to be great when finally, Eric, we all kick the bucket. You will have the best estate sale because people will go in through your old jack. and finding cheese. You're psyched up about Mannix's tissues.

Well, my estate sale will also be a bunch of other people's shit. It'll be managed to get it. Bill Walton's tie-dye shirt. I got Neil Young's train. I got Bert Reynolds, Native American sand art. I mean, I'm basically a cosmic middleman in the estate sale. I'm not kidding. I got it right here.

You're a big point. Let's see it. Also, what's the sand art? I'll show you. I can't believe he's a few feet away from Burt Reynolds sand art. And also, it was just in Burt Reynolds' estate. We don't know if it was Burt Reynolds. Yeah, yeah.

It was somebody who stayed at his house and put it there. Hope you're in front of me. No. That's the sand art. But what does that mean from Burt Reynolds? His estate sale through Julian's. But then I got, I'm still worried about this and maybe a caller, though. because after I got it I started Googling sand art and there's this idea in indigenous culture

sometimes sand art is used for a ceremony and it should be destroyed and it's bad luck so I call my buddy the great Bobby Wilson and I'm like is this sand art okay for me to have he's like man sand art's a tough one I'm not sure so I don't know if I'm even can have this and I'm worried it'll bring like bad luck or something because I don't want to appropriate and I don't want to if it was meant for bert's ceremony but the idea this is This is in my barn and owned by Bert Reynolds, like, God, is that nice to have? I mean, think about it. And, like, the Tibetan people, they'll spend, like, a year making this sand arch,

and then they do destroy it when it's done. Shit. That's bad mojo you might have. We got to find out, Steve. This is your line. How long have you had it, Eric? I've had it, like, two years. And I feel like I've had a good two years.

I'd like to think it's brought me some good luck. It did fall at one point and lost the corner, chipped off. But I'm hoping I'm not. flagrantly in violation because I would destroy it if I had how would you destroy it however they would tell me to or if I send it to them or burn it or I don't know whatever they want I'd like to put my EMF reader

all over that thing right I also have a certificate of adoption from a turtle named Bert Reynolds Bert Reynolds knew the end of his life a turtle and it's slammer on Florida this can't be real life oh no for real I have a certificate of Bert Reynolds adopting a turtle Eric

I'm still recovering from Berg saying he wants to get his EMF reader all over the Burt Reynolds sand art. And now I'm finding out about Burt Reynolds is a turtle. He adopted a turtle. I didn't know this. This is just like being on the ropes and just getting wailed with game makers. My poor wife. So will you walk us through this turtle? Yeah.

Well, see, I learned the first meal young option, I'll be honest. The first meal young option, I went a little hog wild. I bought way too much stuff. So I actually learned a technique on these auctions. You don't fall in love with anything. You put low bids and you try to find the stuff that creeps through. So I put low bids on the sand art and I put low bids on a turtle adoption. And I was lucky enough to win it.

I think it was $400. And it's two certificates. Oh, I could flip that. I could flip all the Burt Reynolds estate stuff. Like all the Neil Young stuff, I flipped and did okay because I'm like, I don't need his tape deck. I don't need his record player. God, we had three giant. We had three giant chairs that Jess was like, no.

So they're now in my buddy Reg's garage. That's not flipping. That's given to a guy in his garage. It is, yeah. But I turned about saying, yeah. You're using the term flipping the wrong way. I flipped his tape deck and record player. I flipped a bunch of stuff that I bought into a garbage can.

I'm in the whole $2,500 from flipping. He was talking about physically. You've physically getting rid of it. Physically getting rid of it to save my marriage. Yeah, that's flipping, I think. I mean, I mean, like, you're a lot. The wonderful thing about Eric is that, like, look, I am a weirdo. I'll go into cornfields and investigate a place where a Bigfoot might have been seen 75 years ago.

But when I'm with Eric, I am a normie. I might as well be like your algebra teacher. Nobody thinks that's true, Steve. Yeah, I don't know, buddy. You just, that cornfield thing, don't think that that just went under the radar. Yeah, we're all still hearing everything, man. Yeah, yeah. I'd love to get my EMF reader all over you.

It's a different flavor of weird. It's a different flavor. What I love about hanging out with Eric is it's not weird for me to say I want to get my EMF reader all over Bert Reynolds Fandard Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Right? I'm normal. Look, if I, when I bring my gear over to Eric's, Eric's going to be loving it. I'm going to be EMFing, taking the reading, all my ghostbox going. It's like a Goonies reboot. Like Goonies at our age. What a fun way to live your life.

Adventure is the best. It is. But what does that mean? Natalie just wrote, do you guys want the Larry King? Auction video. Auction video. Well, Larry King is now the newest one doing an auction. And so, and then you wrote back, Eric, not a fan like that?

What does that mean? I'm not a Larry King fan. I won't be bidding on it like that. Oh, okay. Not a King fan. Oh, yeah. You'll throw in a couple soft bids, maybe for some glasses. Soft bids for something.

Or an ashtray, yeah. I mean, I did listen to a lot of Larry growing up, but I don't think I need any of his stuff. That's also part of this lesson is you don't, you don't really need this stuff that much. Jake, that's a lesson? Jake,

you were on Larry King. I was on Larry King. I remember, that was great. What? No, it was a great interview too. I love to have to find this.

Are you kidding? You're from Chicago. Yeah, I don't, all I remember about it was the night drunk history started. Derek Waters and I played heads up quarters. So it just, it's how it happens. We were in my rowing a place just hanging out the two of us.

We played one-on-one quarters. We got very drunk, very fat. And we were drinking like Miller lights back then. And then whatever, I told a long-winded Otis Redding story that pre-internet, Billy Bungeroth told me the story when I was growing up. I thought it was true. I took about 45 minutes. I was doing all the voices.

The next day, he said, you know, he wants to do this thing. And on Larry King, he asked how it started. and I told that story. And then fucking Derek Waters claimed I lied about the quarters when he did Larry King. What? Yeah.

He went like this. And then Larry King said to him or somebody else, I can't remember, but I remember because Derek and I texted bits about it. But then he was asked about it. I think it was on Larry King. And Larry King said like,

Jake Johnson said it. And Derek was like, I've never played courties in my life. I don't even know the rules. And I was like, you fucking look. son of a bitch should we

I think I mean we're I think maybe we can wrap this one up a little bit but I do think we should we should just before we do let's bottom line the takeaways from this episode okay

Steve Berg will be taking glamour shots the three of us will have our chance to direct our own show yep Jake has in principle signed on to a deal with Eric Edelstein Productions to go to a Malibu High School

when Chris responds to Eric and go see Dick Van Dyke perform. And he will be wired up on, and he will Donny Brasco this one. I don't know if that's possible because I don't know who's going to listen and edit all of it.

But what I will do is film moments on my phone. I'll report her update. Please, please. Man on the scene, please. Yeah, I will do a little, but honestly knowing me when I get there, we'll just get into it. But no matter what,

we will have a full chat after. Okay, good, good. And then I think we have Liz in the field setting up an exciting, reverse catfish to try to grab our fake Steve Berg if again long shot if by chance we get him Steve Burke will fly to Chicago to try to meet himself for lunch and bring his EMF reader oh EMF this motherfucker dude and we found out that Eric Gettlstein spent $400 for adoption papers for a turtle named Bert Reynolds.

I will say. That is the crazy. This whole thing works for a number of reasons. But Eric, I just have to say, it seems to be endless with the things that the adventures you'll take yourself on and the things that you'll spend. It's Eric and shocking that you're a turtle. It's out of live, Eric.

You're living how you're supposed to live. Thank you. I appreciate that. You've got one hand in your pocket. I'm going to say, I'm going to say this now as somebody who's not kissing your button who loves you. You're not living right. You should not spend $400 on a certificate that says, you're not a billionaire.

By the way, that guy sold that turtle the 40 different people for $400. He just printed out a sheet and people were like, whoa, I'm technically the owner of a. The turtle is a bold statement to make to a man who carries pocket sheath, folks. Very true. Just remember who you're to deal with here, all right? I want you to write the email to the guy who sold you that piece of paper about the turtle and demand your money back or demand the turtle.

Or we get that guy on the show. Are you giving my money back or you produced the turtle? You adopted a dead turtle? No, Bert Reynolds adopted the turtle. The certificate was his. And I traced a turtle and it vanished somewhere in the North Atlantic, which is a hell of a swim from Florida. But that was a sad day.

I really wanted that turtle to be going because I thought they could live 100 years. I legit was sad and I had to get like a big lunch. I can't believe you could actually, there's even a process of adopting a turtle. Don't you just grab it on the side of the road? Hey, Steve, Bert cared. Okay, they went to Bert and said, we've named this turtle, Bert Reynolds. Would you like to adopt it? Here's the certificate.

And Bert had it. It was in Bert's effects. Okay. We'll see you guys soon. Should we all find off laughing like Bert Reynolds? What's that? We should all find out laughing like our caller is here. Yeah.

No, our caller is here. You guys are off. Oh, shit. Boy, Hollywood. Talk down. Ouch, we got fired. We did the table read. They recast.

Whoa, man. Oh, God. The friends are a thief. Oh, man. All right, bye, boys. Bye, bye, bye, guys. A pleasure. Hi, this is Elizabeth from Evanston, Illinois, and I have a listener hot take.

Okay, so that, that is my hot take. Okay, so 99% of callers start describing their question or problem with, okay, so, I think that reheardos are smart or at least interesting and can do a lot better. There's no need for this because it's very clear that it's the caller's turn to speak because Jake and Gareth do a great job of saying things like the floor is yours or go ahead and tell us about your problem and how we can help. So there's no need to establish that it's their turn to talk.

Further, this is just sloppy style. No TED Talk starts with, okay, so it starts with a strong opening sentence. And even the great Mr. H, I bet his middle school students do a better job starting their hot takes because as a middle school teacher, he probably teaches them about topic sentences, which we all learned in middle school. So We Here Does, I think you can do better. Start your story with a bang, make the podcast better, stop okay-sewing it.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The theme song by Oliver Raleigh.

The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to Gareth Reynolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon,

and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to Patreon.com forward slash here to help pod. Hi, I'm Alana Hope Levinson. And I'm Dan O'Sullivan. And this is The Outfit, the new podcast from Higher Ground and Headgum. We're two journalists who are slightly obsessed with the mob and organized crime and other nefarious stuff like that. Every week, we're going to bring you a story about a mobster.

Some you've heard of. Some you definitely haven't. But all of them are going to help explain why America is like this. See, the mob explains all sorts of things, from milk expiration dates to why we got into Cuba, to Las Vegas. Gay bars. Who knew? Who knew? The mobs involved.

All that and more. Subscribe to the outfit wherever you get your podcasts. And watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Thursday. Thank you.