We're Here to Help - 202: The Friendship Game Casting Special: I Have a Connection

Episode Date: August 29, 2025

Six contestants vie for a chance to be the next star of the We're Here to Help Friendship Game. Could it be Sara the Skateboarder? Mataya the Butcher? Small Town Sydney? YOU decide.Cast your vote and pick who Jake and Gareth will help to find a friend: https://weneedtopick.com/friendshipcasting1Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. friendship game. And we're meeting for the first time to do this. So, hi, Steve. What's up? What's up, Wobby Wob? Not much. I'm going to call you, Rob.

That's really hard for me to do with my list, but, you know, it's already heard enough to talk. Yeah, I think a grown man calling me that is weird enough. It's challenging for me to come. Yeah, I can't, you know, I'd have to really focus. All right, so how much do you know about what we're doing here? I know the kind of basics, you know, the broad strokes, and that is we're going to be interviewing six potentials and just kind of like going to lay the land like where they sit on like

what they want in a friend, what they're liking a friend, what they're looking for, what are their loves, their fears, their interests, stuff like that. Yeah, and then I think listeners are going to vote on who we should play the game with. Oh, I love it. Who they like most. I think that you guys should test your questions on each other and get to know each other a little bit as friends. I like that.

Okay, well, I'll just ask you this. Let's do it. Rob, are you a patron of the arts? If so, what brand? Concerts, theater, comedy, rodeo exhibitions? Those are just examples if you have something specific. I mean, I'm a big concert goer. I got a maybe a concert a week.

That's a lot. I love that. Yeah, sometimes more. Okay, what's the last concert you saw? Last concert I saw was Say Anything in New Jersey. Okay. Are we left to do like a little follow-up? Yeah, I think so.

Okay. Yeah, absolutely. And then before that was Deep Sea Diver in Nashville and Dr. Dogg in Denver. Great. I just got into Deep Sea Diver. It was my first time seeing them and I loved them. They're very, very good. I just listened to I think their newest album the other day.

I'm like, damn, this is great. Billboard Heart. Yeah. Yeah, I really enjoy it. It's a good album. Yeah. All right. So then for you, open up your Spotify.

Tell me your last five artists that you listen to. Okay. We'll do. Okay. Let's see here. Ghosted. Okay. Is that a band?

The band. It's like a weird kind of like psychedelic jazz trio. And I listen to L.A. which, I'm very into them right now, the cock two twins, the clean, and pavement. Pavement, okay. Yep. All right. Yeah, that's fun.

That's fun. Okay, while heavy for a midday meal, where do you stand on pizza lunches? I don't. I love pizza. Pizza is probably my favorite food. Me too. But I try to limit to one pizza per week. Yeah, yeah.

So lunch is normally not where I'm going to splurge and do my pizzaing. That was the right answer, by the way. Great, great. What are your weirdest hobbies? Probably, you know, investigating the paranormal, I would say. Last weekend, I was at a paranormal convention. I was up until 6 in the morning on Sunday night. Ghost hunting in an old hoax.

hotel. Pretty weird. Pretty weird. We got a little action, too. It's pretty exciting. How are you getting action? Well, I was with five other people, and there was one guy there who, like, swears he saw a shadow person, like, pop it's head out over, like, this, like, this dresser in the room. And he screamed. And then he came, and then he actually booked himself another hotel room because he would. stay in that one. All right.

So I believe that he believes that something happened now, whether it did or not. But I think he definitely was truly, like, genuinely scared. Okay, here's one for you. How do you like to break a sweat, you know, meaning physical activities? So I like to Peloton. Me too. I try to do that as often as I can. That's stored in our garage right now, so I've not been doing it that much.

and I also play recreational softball two to three times a week. Hell, yeah, that's rad. Oh, Rob, I think we're finding out that we'd be pretty easy friends here. It seems like it. This is great. Who's your favorite Pelton teacher?

I like Leanne Hainesby. Okay. She's my writer. I don't know her work. I mostly am not listening to them at all. I'm just kind of following and watching TV or listening to a podcast while doing it. Me too.

The first, like, few months I used it, I had to listen, but then, now I have subtitles, and I don't even need those. I'm just looking at the resistance and whatnot. Yeah, yeah. I don't particularly love their music taste most of the time. It's a little rough. So, yeah, yeah, skipping that part. It's a little rough.

All right. What's the most you've gone out of your way to help a friend? I've bailed multiple friends out of jail. I think that's pretty good. I one time flew across the country and helped someone get into reality. rehab, and then they escaped the rehab three days later, so that kind of sucked. But I did, like, you know, I got the family to pay for it and some friends to chip in, so I felt like that was pretty good, even though the rehab didn't work, you know.

It did eventually on the third try for my friend, but, like, you know, I felt like that was a pretty good one. Because I, like, I flew with a very inconvenient time, and I, like, lost a job, but I, like, you know, was one of my best friends, so got to do it. Yeah, that's impressive. It's a good friend. Thanks. Okay, the last one I have is, do you prefer to have a set agenda or are you more a go with the flow? Hey, let's see what happens kind of guy.

I am definitely a set agenda type person. I was just out of town for a couple weeks, and even when I was by myself, I was in Nashville for a week. I love Nashville. I made reservations every single night for dinner and was just like, I'll find a friend that'll come with me. Right. And, yeah, my Google Calendar is pretty full, and I stick pretty strictly to it. That's good, though. That's good. You know what you want.

You know what you want to do. That's good. See, I'm oftentimes not, but then I waste a lot of time trying to figure out what the hell I want to do. All right. So what level of crime are you willing to cover up for a friend? Examples, drugs, drugs, theft, murder. I mean, definitely, I'll cover up drugs. uh you know i don't feel like that's like the worst crime in the world unless they're like selling

hard drugs to like kids i mean like then i'm turning them in i mean i'm a pretty by the book i believe in rules and laws for the most part like there's some i don't agree with but for the most part i feel like we have to operate you know with some rules otherwise i don't like anarchy so i feel like i would cover up for drugs like if you know i had a friend who's like blowing coke or something like i'm like i'm like a turn them in or anything like that but let's go with drugs i would never cover up for someone who did anything of violence. Like I'd be like, dude, you need help. I'm turning you in. It's good line. You're dangerous.

Theft, though? Someone steals from like a No, I don't think I am. I really don't like theft. I think it's I've never stolen anything in my entire life. And I've been around, you know, when I was a kid other people stealing things, but like, I don't like it. It's so dishonest that like

it bothers me. Now, petty theft from like a big corporate entity, like, you know, Hopping on your parents, HBO or something like that. Like, no, that's not theft to me, even though technically it is. But, like, I cover up for that. But, like, you know, any kind of, like, stealing of, like, material goods from a store or another person, I'm out on that.

No, thanks. But will you turn a friend in if you're, you guys are at Coles and he sticks some socks in his pocket? No, I'm not going to turn him in, but I'm not going to want to hang with the person a whole lot. So it's going to destroy the friendship. Fair. Well, Rob, I don't know.

I think we're pretty compatible, man. I think we're ready to jump on. on into some IRL, real that didn't really make sense. Jump into some real people, some real collars. What do you think about that?

Let's do it without further ado. No, nailed it. It's so good to see you. Tell me what it's like to be you. Hey, how are you doing?

Friend, what's your name? Hi, this is Sarah. I live outside of Philadelphia. Oh, Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love. You know, I've never. been there. It's one of the, I think it's the only major American city I've never been to.

Well, that's a big shame. You should come out. I should. My wife loves Philadelphia as she went to college there, and I still have not been. Sarah, how are you doing, my friend? Have you met Rob? Hello, Sarah. Hi, Rob. I'm Sarah. I don't think

we have met, but it's nice to meet you now. Yeah, Steve and I are going to kind of conduct these questionnaires. with people to come play the friendship game. So we're going to alternate asking you some questions. Okay. I'm going to do my best.

Oh, you're going to do fantastic. Just, you know, answer from your heart. This is not an interrogation. You're not, you know, an NCIS episode where we're interrogating you necessarily. These are just friendly questions so we can get to know you a little bit better and just see if you're compatible with some other folks out there. Sound good? Sounds great. Lovely. Rob, would you like to go first, friend?

Yeah, let's do it. All right, Sarah, can you open up your Spotify or Apple Music and tell us the last five artists you listen to? I have the descendants. Oh, yeah. The offspring, alkaline trio. Okay. Goldfinger. And real big fish.

Is that five? That's fine. Somebody's into melodic punk rock, aren't they? Yeah, I think that tells us quite a bit. I was at the skate park the other day. And, I mean, if you're going to skateboard, that's a pretty good track list right there of artists. Do you skateboard?

Yeah, that's why I actually put in for the show is that I was looking for a friend to skateboard with. I don't know anybody else personally that skateboard. That is so sick. I love it. Can you do a kickflip? No, I can't. That's why I need friends because I don't know how to get better by myself.

You'll get there. I have a good feeling about it. Yeah, good for you. That's wonderful. Thanks. Yeah, I learned how to drop in in June off of coping. Like, I don't know how familiar you are.

Oh, I'm familiar. I admire it from afar. I'm just, I'm an appreciator of the skateboard. I appreciate you appreciating me. I need people like you in my life. Okay, Sarah. I love this.

All right, what are your weirdest hobbies? Oh, okay. Yeah, that's right up my alley. So how much time do we have? No. I curl. So that Olympic sport where you run on ice, drinking, yelling, and like swiffering. Yeah, I love curling. I've been doing it for 11 or 12 years. So it's summer. So it's hot. So I'm not currently currently doing it. But I typically curl about two nights a week and a league. And I just told you that I'm, I'm an adult woman who is learning how the skateboard. So that's something. I don't think that's awkward and weird. And I don't think it's weird because I don't want that to be the impression for anyone. But I also this year decided to really learn American fine language.

I learned the alphabet when I was a kid, but I wanted to really dig into that. So I've been taking like online lessons through the public library system to look. to learn, to learn a fun languagefully. You are living life to the fullest. That's very good. I try. Yeah. That's very good. I'm all up for it.

I'm very curious about this one because you sound adventurous. As an adult, what is your idea of adventure? My idea of adventure is trying something, open-minded and open-hearted, being ready to kind of fall on your ass and laugh about it. And it's okay if it's not something you want to try again, but you've got that one memory. And if it is something you want to try again, to be brave enough to invite somebody else along for it the next time.

And that could be small. I could be literally taking one of those paints and drink a glass of wine classes or it could be something as big as, you know, try and skateboarding or curling. Right. Or going on a big road trip. I love it.

but I need you to keep on going that skateboarding and learn to cake flip. I know you, if you can drop in on a ramp, you can kick flip, I believe that. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I'm working on it. Keep going, sister.

Keep going. Thanks. All right. We will be in touch. Okay. I hope so. We do too. Thanks, Sarah.

We appreciate it. Have a great afternoon. You too, friend. Okay. That was fun. Sarah was great. We're going to have to work on our exit strategy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we'll just, we'll just let Natalie come in and yell at us and say we were going too long. All right, cut, moving on. I was going to. So coming in next is Andy. She's 39, and she is from Holyoke, Massachusetts. Okay. Hi, Andy. Hi.

What's up, Andy from Holyoke? Everything is wonderful. How are you today? We're doing footloose and fancy free over here. We're having a great day. That sounds so great. You sound like you're having a blast. Thank you.

Thank you. We try over here. We're here to help HQ. You know, just kind of a basic question for the listeners. We can kind of lay the land here. And I do not mean this, you know, as like a point. pointed, rude question, but like, why are you looking for the We're Here to Help Podcast, help you find a friendship buddy?

Well, you know what? I've listened to a lot of episodes, and they've given some good advice and some great advice and some okay advice. And it seems like a fun way as any other to find a friend. Good answer. And just before we start, you've got Steve Berg and Rob here. Yeah, sorry. And we're... I recognize your voice. Nice.

We're gonna take turns asking some questions, just kind of rapid fire at you so that the audience can get to know you a little bit. Awesome. All right. So first question, if you can open up your Spotify and tell us the last five artists you listen to. Okay.

Let me figure this out real quick. Do do do do. Okay. So I've been listening to a playlist that I made for a character in a book that I wrote, I'm writing. And the last five that played were the Velvet Underground, the cardigans, garbage, savage garden, and bush. Interesting. Interesting. You're all over the place. Yeah, it's set in the 90s, so you know. We're just going for it. And the Velvet Underground, we're really having that kind of a resurgence in the That makes perfect sense.

Perfect sense. Yeah, it seems like a little bit to press, so. Yeah, well, who isn't? Just kidding. All right. Can you tell us your weirdest hobbies? Yeah, I can tell you some things that I like. I really like walking in the woods and looking for very small, small things.

Today I went. I saw so many mushrooms. I saw at least five frogs, a couple of turtles, you know, whatever. I like reading a lot, and I read a lot of, like, really weird girl literary fiction, you know? Hmm. So that's kind of funky. I'm also one of those people who, like, seems kind of boring, but then I'll say something really weird and insane, and everyone's like, wow, where did that come from? Okay.

And I guess that's a hobby. Can you give us an example of that? Um, well. Or just feel free to throw it in at some point. I'm a little stressed here. Yeah, okay. I'll keep it on the tip of my brain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll think it'll come to you. It'll come to you or not. All right. Can you describe your ideal friend date? Yeah. I think it would be very fun to like get a coffee or a tea or some sort. Go for a walk. Pet some neighborhood dogs and cats.

I'd like to hear about like somebody's workplace gossip. That'd be fun. And then like I really want a friend who's smart about stuff that I don't know about. and they can tell me about it. So I'd like to learn about things, and they could learn about things. Okay, okay, okay. As an adult,

what is your idea of adventure? Oh, anything can be an adventure. One time I went to a museum that was just this family's stuff. It was incredible. I loved it. Amazing. But also, I've gone ziplining,

and that was fun. I would love to ride a horse. It would be cool to go, Under the sea. I don't know. I could do anything. It's so much fun. You're a spirited individual. I like that. Good job. All right. What level of crime are you willing to cover up for your friends? Probably most of it. I kind of have a rule that I don't call the pop for anything. Not a snitch.

Yeah, I mean, why would I want to do that? You didn't even have to think about it. That's great. I'm discovering that you know what's up. You know what's up. know yourself very well. This is, this is great. I've got a lot of searching inside, you know. I have no friends. That's what it does to you. Oh, I hear you. You've been looking inward. Now it's time to look outward with someone else. Okay, so here's another question for you. What is the signature dish? Now, I'm thinking more of the dinner hour that you would make for a new

friend. Ooh, I really like cooking and I really like trying new things. And I used to work at these bakeries that were nominated for James Beard Awards. Oh, hello. Yeah, so don't even ask me about my brown butter cookies. Girl, oh, dish it. Well, I'd probably just make whatever they want because I like to make new things. Well, no, but let's say they didn't, but let's say they were coming over and they didn't like say what they wanted.

And you're like, I'm going to make them dinner. You want to impress them. You want to impress them. Yeah, you want to be delicious. Off the top of your head. Okay. On the top of my head, I would make them. a stew.

Okay. I don't know. What kind of stew? Very often, but might as well. Is this a beef stew with like a... Venison stew? Like a classic stew, yeah. Okay.

A beef stew, some carrots, some potatoes. I'm dead with the stew. I don't know. I don't know. I've ever made one, but I kind of miss the fall, so I'm making... Okay. Okay. Okay. interesting. Well, that, I mean, let me tell you, you were, you know yourself very well, and you made it very easy for us.

Thank you so much. yeah thank you very much i um had a bunch of notes and i didn't have to use them because i didn't know any of those questions were going to come so i appreciate that good well you did a fantastic job and do me a favor enjoy your dinner tonight would you thank you i hope you have a wonderful afternoon guys all right bye sister too bye it's so good to see you tell me what it's like to be you This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by the great Hulu, specifically, New Girl. Make it a New Girl summer on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus. Guys, if you're listening to this show, you know, New Girl.

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they built a replica on our set. It is just a magical place, and it'll make you feel like you are in the bar where Nick worked. It looks exactly like that. And then while you're in that area, go to downtown and check out the outside of the loft. I don't remember the exact streets of this, but it's right in downtown L.A. and there's great food around there, too. So make it a New Girl summer, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus,

but also come to Los Angeles and experience the real New Girl, live New Girl, on Hulu. This episode of We're Here to Help is sponsored by Angry Orchard, Hard Cider. Don't Get Angry, Get Orchard. Listen, guys, there's a litany of things that we shouldn't get angry about, but let's be honest, sometimes it's hard not to be.

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Okay. So this next caller is Miriam from Wheaton, Illinois, which is a Chicago suburb if you're not familiar. Okay. Do you want to pretend to be Jake and I'll be Gareth for this one? Yeah. I'm Jackie Johnson. Sorry. What was it?

I'm sorry. What was her name again? Miriam? Oh, that's a wonderful name. Miriam, are you there? Hi. Hi, Miriam. How are you doing?

You're from Wheaton, Illinois, we here. I am, yeah. Pretty close to the city. Well, I'm very familiar with Chicago land area, and I have heard of Wheaton. I actually did not know that was a suburb of Chicago. I am very familiar with Wheaton as well.

It's like right by Naperville. I don't know if you know Naperville. Oh, I know Naperville. I know Naperville. Okay. Love it. Love it, love it. Well, I mean, so my name is Steve Berg, and with me is...

This is Rob. I produced the show. You might know him as Wobby-Wab. She doesn't... I don't, but I do. Well, we are here to ask some just lighthearted questions so we can get to know you better so we can potentially see if you're a match for someone out there looking for a buddy. I love that.

Let's do it. Are you, Miriam? A patron of the arts. And if so, what brand? Concerts, theater, comedy, rodeo exhibitions? It can be anything. Just needs to be the arts. Yeah, so I love going to improv shows downtown Wheaton.

They're so good. I'll also do some concerts, but I would say mostly comedy shows. I actually have tickets to go see Gareth in October. Hell yeah. That's great. Yeah. Can you tell us some of your weirdest hobbies? Okay.

my weirdest hobbies I was thinking about this today because that would be like a question I would ask and unfortunately mine is kind of embarrassing so I I like so when I had my daughter I was like used to like being like talking to people all day

I was staying at home and I was like so bored just like she's not talking at all right and I'm like what I do with myself and I didn't want to ever watch TV So I, like, put the radio on, like, all day long. And I got to know, like, all these different radio shows. And I started, like, calling in to win prizes. And, like, I figured out how to win prizes really easily.

You game the system? Yeah. That's what I did with my time after having my baby. So, yeah, I don't know how many prizes I've won. But I've went to concerts. I've gotten, like, grocery stores. gift cards, but I've probably won thousands of dollars of prizes.

This would make a great documentary. I'm not even joking. That is a fan. What a great answer. I did not see that coming. This is the biggest honor of all. Talk to you guys. Oh, well, the feeling of mutual,

the feeling of mutual, sister. I'm going to hit you with another one. While heavy for a midday meal, where do you stand on pizza lunches? oh wow you know pizza's heavy but it's always good I'd have it for breakfast lunch dinner a snack

yeah yeah I'd be fine with that okay okay oh I feel like I answered wrong you there is no wrong answer I mean like I'm with you there's always it's pizza's great for all occasions right yeah all right

what's your most annoying quality that prevents you from making more friends Oh, that's a good one. We just want to get red flags out of the way for anyone that is auditioning for this. Okay, so something I'm learning and working on is I can be like too eager to like want to help and like, you know, I will try to give like unfulicited advice. So now like I'm hearing myself like I'm gearing up. I'm like, don't say it. That would be, that would be, that would probably be my worst class.

that I know. It's, if that is not a bad quality to have, in my opinion, like, you know, being eager to help is good, um,

I think. You know, you guys are here to help you. I mean, you know, hey, right? You know,

come on. Okay. Um, let me see here. What do I look better? Okay. What, how do you break a sweat?

Like, what physical activities are you into? Oh, awesome. I, um, I love to go for walks and listen to podcasts, so I'm sure somebody else out there that listens to your podcast probably also does that. But that's my favorite thing to do is just to like, you know, be thinking about other things and just moving my body and being outside.

Yeah, it's a great way to hang out with somebody. You know, endorphins get the conversation going. You can go to some deeper places. I get it. Totally. All right. What level of crime are you willing to cover up for your friends? drug use theft murder where do you where do you draw the line oh my god my husband like he's asked me

this several times because he would do anything for me like he'd be like no you know I'd help you bury the body like and I'm like no it's just not like I'd have to do the right thing so I don't know how far would I'd probably be you know if it was like oh you know I don't think I would go very far. I'm not, I'm right or right or die, but like not as far as that goes. Mm-hmm. That makes sense. It does.

It's a fair. It does. Thank you so much for playing. We will be in touch. Thank you, Miriam. You have a wonderful day. It's so good to see you. Tell me what it's like to be you. Next, we have Christina from Boston,

and she's 27. Hello, Christina from Boston. Hi. Hey, you're talking with Steve Berg and my home boy, Rob. How's it going? Oh, my God. How exciting? How are you guys? We are, we couldn't be better. I shouldn't speak for you, Rob. How are you doing?

I'm doing great. This is a lot of fun. We're going to get right down to brass text. I want to ask you, why do you feel that you need this show to help you find a friend? And I don't mean that like in a mean way. I'm just, you know, just so the listeners know. No, I get to. Well, I moved to Boston a few months ago now. So, like, I technically have had a little bit of time to make friends,

but I just feel like it's a hard city to make new friends in. Everybody's got their own thing going on. They like people got places to go and people are not chatty here. Like, I'm from Arizona and people in the West Coast are like, they just want to chat all the time and it's just not like that here. I moved in February, so it's been like a little less than six months. Oh, you're a fresh-faced baby of Boston. Yes.

Okay, wonderful. This all makes sense. Well, if you don't mind, we're going to get right down to brass tacks and start with the questions. Rob, would you like to lead us off, buddy? Yes. Will you open up your Spotify and tell us the last five artists that you listen to? Oh, my God. This is so personal.

Oh, my gosh. Okay. Let me see. I don't even know how I would know that. Um, okay, I have a Kate Trinada, um, Callie Uch's, um, Bad Bunny, The Marias, and Floor. Okay. Great. Great, good, great.

I like it. Uh, let me ask you a question. I'm going to make an adjustment on this question specifically for you. Do you believe in ghosts? Oh, I, you know, I, you know, I. don't have, I, how do I say this? I feel like they definitely possibly do exist. Like I don't want to have a hard answer on anything.

I'm the type of person that's like anything is possible until I know for sure it's not kind of thing. I haven't had any personal, paranormal activity happened to me, but I also feel like I've heard enough stories from people that I like trust and believe that I'm like, yeah, that's like abnormal. Is it safe to say that you're open to it? Oh yeah I'll listen to it Okay I love it

All right What's your most annoying quality That prevents you from making more friends Oh My most annoying quality Okay I don't know if this prevents me From making friends

But I feel like I make a lot of pun jokes And they kind of just like a lot of dad jokes And I feel like they kind of pick over me in the moment, sometimes when I'm like, yeah, like barely met someone or something. I know the feeling. I'm glad you can relate to this because I tried explaining to someone once. I feel like, I feel like something takes over me.

Like, I have no control. Like, I hear a pun and I have to say it. Yeah. So, yeah, I see how that could be annoying if it's not the right time for a pun. I mean, I come, my policy is always the right time for a pun. I love that. Okay, here's another one for you. As an adult, what's your idea of adventure?

Oh, as an adult, an idea of adventure. I think just stepping outside of your comfort zone as an adult is already an adventure. I feel like as adults, we put ourselves into like boxes of what we're like supposed to do or not do or how we're supposed to behave. Can you give an example? kind of, like, meeting people in real life instead of a podcast. I hear you. Yeah, this is definitely very unconventional for me. And I don't like putting myself out there in any way.

But I was feeling adventurous. And then I don't know, I just feel like, in terms of, like, traveling as well, like, I feel like a lot of people are scared to, like, go to somewhere new or just, like, a country we like very different cultures because they don't know like what that's going to be like but it's just like you don't know until you try kind of thing and I think it's really fun to be immersed into like new places and new cultures so yeah I think that's that's what I would say like in general whether it's like traveling and planning like a whole actual adventure or just like going to like a cooking class and that's feeling adventurous for you like I don't

I think the scale doesn't matter unless as long as you're, like, challenging yourself. Good answer. What is your signature dish that you would make for a friend? Oh, lasagna. Oh, God. Great answer. Yeah. I, like, I would host Lausannean nights, like, back in Arizona, and now I need people to have

lasagna nights with in Boston. Oh, man. Like Steve's heading to Boston I'm Florida I guess I'm Yeah look I just bought a first class ticket to Boston I will look I have a heavy appetite You're going to want to double up that that batch Great answer

No problem no problem Great answer friend I think I'm going to be altering my cooking schedule And making lasagna this weekend So thank you for that But it's been this is great This is great that's all we got for you All right well thank you guys

Have a good rest of your night All right have a good one Bye, thank you. Bye. It's so good to see you. Tell me what it's like to be you. Okay, so next we have Matea. She's 25, and she is from Tucson.

Okay. Hello, Mattaya. How are you doing? You are talking to Steve Berg and... You got Rob here too. Hi, guys. What's up, buddy? How you doing?

I'm doing pretty good I'm glad you're here Steve Oh I'm so glad to be here I'm really I'm just thrilled Let me let me just say this And I do not we do not mean this in like a rude way But like because we're you know Doing a little interview process

Why are you looking for the We're Here to Help Podcast help help you find a friendship buddy I currently have one friend Her name is Rachel she's a sweetheart But she is my only friend I work in a pretty male heavy environment So I don't get to meet a lot of women Which is my preferred friend

Yeah So I'm kind of looking for women in my area To make a little friendship buddy with Yeah Are you trying to make Rachel jealous too? I'm trying to make Rachel jealous Because Rachel has like 100 friends And I only have one

So I want to have something on the side To make her nervous Well let's figure if we can make Rachel jealous Listen, we're going to pepper you with some questions, and we're going to go every other here. But Rob's going to start us off. Yes. If you can open up your Spotify, can you tell us the last five artists you listen to? Yes.

It's going to be embarrassing. Hold on. Good, good, good. Let's look at this. I listened to Morgan Wallen. I listened to Loth Lonely Boys. Oh, yeah. It's like, how far is heaven, you know, you know the one.

Oh, nice timber. Yeah, thank you. I worked really hard on it. Daniel Caesar, Arctic Monkeys, and Miley Cyrus. Okay. It's a wide range, yeah. Yeah, you're all over the place. I love that.

I love that. Okay, here's my question for you. Let's say this new friend or a potential friend came over to your house for a hang and they brought a Ouija board. would you let them use it to try to contact the undead at your house? I would love that. I think that that would be a lot of fun. I'm not afraid of things like that.

So bring on the weekie board. Hell yeah. Great answer. All right. Will you tell us your weirdest hobbies? My weirdest hobby. Your most unique hobbies and interests. Most unique hobby.

I'm really into butchery. So I like breaking down animals. and sometimes you get to like when you're breaking something down you have to bleed it out and I like squeezing the blood out of the intestine so that's pretty fun didn't see that coming robbed you nope nope nope I'm going to quote you I like to squeeze the blood out of animals is this while they're alive or already dead someone's got to do it someone's got to do it no I'm with you I'm with you eat what you kill do you hunt I don't hunt.

I would love to, but I haven't hunted. But you just like, so do hunters just come to you with their dead animals? They're like, squeeze the blood out of it for me. You're like, I'm happy to do it. I have, I have a connection. I have a connection. You buy, so you buy, you buy, you buy dead animals, like from a underground, like, weird cult or something like that.

Like, what's the connection to, like? I have a connection. I have a connection. Okay, you can't see anyone anymore. Okay. Hey, well, this leads me to my next question perfectly. Let's say you're having a buddy over and you want to impress them. What dish are you going to make for them for dinner?

Okay. Well, I think that making ravioli from scratch is a big from the heart. I feel like people know that it's coming from your heart. Absolutely. What kind of feeling? I think we're talking short rib ravioli, a little mushroom. cream sauce. Oh, God.

I have a bit of an advantage. I'm a chef professionally, so I have a bit of an advantage, but I do like that specifically. All right. What's the best meal you've ever had? The best meal I ever had. I had this amazing tartar with quail egg yolks on it. It was actually quite recently, and it was just the first. The freshest, rawest beef you could imagine.

I'm sure that you guys are seeing a theme here, but I'm big into that kind of thing. So raw egg yolks, raw meat, it was very good, very lemony. Wow. I would be your buddy in a second. I mean, like, good Lord. I mean, like, you can make ravioli from scratch and this is working. Great answers.

Okay, I just got, is this my last one? No, I have maybe two more. Okay, anyways, do you prefer to have a set agenda, or are you kind of more of a go with the flow to see what happens kind of gal? I am the least go-with-the-flow person that has ever existed. I love a set schedule.

I love everything planned out. I do not go with the flow. I am allergic to it. I can't do it. Yeah, you hate the flow. Anti-flow. I'm not sure of the flow. Okay, fair enough.

Write that down, anti-flow. Anti-flow, okay. All right. Can you tell us what level of crime you're willing to cover up for a friend? Is it drug use, theft, cannibalism? Murder? I would go all the way.

For my one buddy I got, I would go all the way for her. Murder, cannibalism, the whole thing. So Rachel has murdered and eaten someone, it sounds like. I mean, she's green blooded out of an animal for fun. Okay, well, here's, how about this? As an adult, what is your idea of, like, real adventure? Real adventure? Yeah.

Um, I think that getting, as I said, not a go with the flow type of person. So just going out, if there is an event, if there's something happening and it's last minute, like we just hear about it, getting out and just going to something on a whim. That's a big adventure for me. I would like to just get on a plane and go somewhere. I'm not saying a friend has to want to do that with me, but I would like to do that. Um, just anything without a plan is adventure. since I'm a planner girl, so.

Copy that, copy that. Let me tell you, you did an excellent job. You're a very interesting person, and thank you so much for participating. Thank you guys so much for letting me be part of it. Absolutely, and do me a favor. You have yourself a great dinner tonight. Yeah, I will. Have a good dinner, chef.

Okay, you have a good one. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Tell me what it's like to be And we are brought to you by Quince. I just, I'm grunting because of how much I love Quince. I love Quince, the best.

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Without knowing, Sidney, who's your pick for who you would like? to have a friendship game. I mean, Mateo is a lot of fun. Mm-hmm. Although she's 25. She's kind of like, I don't know,

like she's going to figure it out. Yeah. Feels like the stakes are a little lower in a way. I feel like Andy kind of grew on me. Yeah. As the call went on, I was like, oh, you're kind of a freak. Mm-hmm.

And like you seem to, I don't know. you seem to really want a buddy. You think she came off more as a freak than Matea? Well, no, obviously. Drain the blood of animals. I like to squeeze the blood of animals. I mean, that's fucking great.

But, I mean, she's also like a chef. So she kind of, she at least had a. She has a butcher shop. It's like a restaurant slash butcher shop. It makes way more sense with that. It does. It does. But to the listeners, it's not.

And that's a fantastic answer. Yeah. Okay. So that's Jesse's. Jesse has to leave in a couple of minutes. But then at the end of Sydney's Steve, Rob and I will do it as an outro, our vote on who we want. But we got yours, Jesse. So yours is Andy?

That's my vote right now without having heard, Sydney. Okay. All right. So this is Sydney from Model, Colorado, which is a little town between Santa Fe and Denver, and she is 37. Those are very distant cities. Yeah. They're not close. So this is like in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah. Oh, I love it. Hello. Hello, Sydney. Is this you? Yes. Yes. Cindy, you are speaking with Steve Berg and my man.

You got Rob here too. Well, how are you doing today, friend? Well, good. I'm sorry. I'm a little starstruck. Well, this is so exciting. Oh, it's exciting to have you on Trust me, why do you feel like you want or need the way we're here to help podcast, help you find a friendship, buddy?

Well, first of all, I think that you guys have done a good job because you've had a couple tries at this and finding some friends. And I think you offer great advice, the podcast in general. Anyways, and then I just, you know, I moved back home not too long ago, a couple years ago, and that sounds kind of funny. but I was working remotely, so I was really lame and really not really finding many friends, even though I grew up where I'm at. And so now I'm working in town, which, I mean, maybe we can get into that later, what that means to me. But anyway, so I just need some more friends, some adult friends.

I have a lot of college friends that I kind of talk to occasionally, but as an adult now, I just haven't been the best at making friends. Well, let's see if we can help out with that. You said you live in a small town. What's the weirdest thing you've witnessed in your small town? Ooh. Okay, when I say I live in a small town, I literally live 35 minutes from a small town. So I live, yeah.

So let's see, I live on a ranch. So the weirdest thing I've witnessed, that's really hard to actually. describe but my town that I live closest to is about 10,000 people and we have some some interesting people so probably the weirdest thing I've witnessed oh I can't tell you how many times I've seen many many like shirtless men roaming around town playing boomboxes off of their bikes yeah that that's always fun but like I said I live in the middle of nowhere, so that's kind of a hard thing to describe. Let's say you're going on an epic cross-country road trip.

Would you rather take this road trip with, A, John Travolta, or B, Madonna? John Travolta. Okay. That wasn't any good question. You could sing the Greece soundtrack. I mean, I would have minded it a little explanation. Oh, sure. Greece was my ride or die when I was young

and also he was super weird and hairspray but I still love him and I just think he's so cool and I'll be honest you know when we talk about I just get along with guys a lot more I feel like I have a lot more in common and I feel like Madonna would almost like intimidate me with her coolness

yeah I can see that girl coolness yeah yeah understood let me ask you this question the paranormal ghosts, bigfoot, UFOs, all that stuff. Is it utter garbage or is there something to it? Oh, so this is definitely a Steve question. Yeah, I could have known.

I could have guessed that you would ask you. Anyway, so I am a faith-driven person, so I'm a religious person, and I also, though, firmly believe in all of that. So I don't know if I'm going to get in trouble by anything. But I grew up in a, like I said, a small town, I went to a school that had a lot of the buildings that were built, you know, in the early 1900s. And I can tell you of experience of I had that I, like, no doubt, believe in ghosts. And also, Bigfoot, my dad and I, whenever I'm home and I can go down and watch with him, we are religious and watching shows about Bigfoot because I am just waiting, waiting to see him because it's going to happen one of these days. Yeah.

I want that for you so bad. And if it does happen, please get in touch me right away. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever see him out here on the plains of South Eastern Colorado. Not with that answer, you won't. True. I got to be hopeful.

Yeah. All right. This is weirdly my next question. Who would you rather meet Bigfoot or Jesus? Oh, well, that is not nice. That's not a nice question. Well, I couldn't meet Jesus because he's already died and been resurrected. and, you know, for our sin.

So then I have to answer Bigfoot because that's just by me using my faith as a backup here. So I don't get in trouble because I really want to meet Bigfoot. Okay. I love it. Now, I'm going to ask you a question that you've probably been asked a million times before. Let's say I'm driving a big U-Haul truck and I'm about ready to drop off this vending machine. but I have two vending machines in the truck. One is a vending machine that gives you a lifetime supply of free

mozzarella cheese sticks with various dipping sauces. The other one is a soft-served ice cream machine with three different flavors. Which one do you choose? The mottrilla sticks. Okay. I'm a fan of the savory. I concur. No, what were the three dipping sauces you would choose?

You can choose. Um, I like to be, I like a little different. Like I know everyone would say ranch and that might be one, might be one, but I like like a garlic aoli or something. And then maybe like a buffalo ranch. Okay. No mariner.

And then, oh no, I never choose a manorana. I don't know why I'm a weird. Interesting. Well, no, yeah, that's, I like this. Okay, go ahead. I mean, I like marinera, but. Sure. Who doesn't?

Maybe like something. maybe like a go ahead no please i'm sorry i thought you're breaking up no you're good you're good no okay yeah maybe something like tomatoy like a i don't know like a compote or something i don't know something like that yeah like a marinera he's like a no okay fine a marinera then i mean we really want you to have a marinerer we just feel that you you'll be, like, upset if you don't have a marinerer down the road, you know, so we're trying to help you. I need something a little tomato-y, so you're probably right. Marinerer is fine, but with mozzarella sticks, like, if I'm going to have, and I'm also gluten-free, so it's super stupid.

So, I mean, I'd be suffering, but I'd probably not care. Well, these are gluten-free sticks. They will, you know, they'll work around your diet diet needs. Yeah, I think you said that when you were setting this up. Well, you have been a real delight, my friend. Thank you so much. Yes. Well, thank you so much. I honestly was an honor to be chosen. And I said, well, there must have just been six applicants. So I'm the top six. More like six thousand.

Oh, my goodness. Okay. Well, I'm so thankful. So, yeah, I live here in the middle of nowhere on my ranch and mainly talk to my dog and cows. So this is really nice. Oh, that's so nice. Well, let me just say, best of luck in finding Bigfoot. And if you do, you know where to reach me. And I'd be happy to be. be the lead investigator on this discovery. Yes, and I'm so honored to talk to both of you. So thank you so much for letting me have this chance. I appreciate it. We appreciate you, my friend. You have a beautiful evening.

Thanks, Sydney. Yes, you too. Okay, bye-bye. Ciao. Am I supposed to pick my very favorite or rank them? I think just your favorite. Maybe if you have like a favorite and a backup. Okay.

I think I think. I know mine. Rob, do you know yours? Sorry. Yeah, mine's easy. Rob, you go first. Rob, you go first. I mean, Mattaya from Tucson, Arizona, the chef who likes to drain blood.

She seems like a wild card and would be fun to play this game. I don't think she needs this game, though. I think Jesse's point was correct. That's my only drawback to is that she is. Well, yeah, yeah. She's an easy sell as a friend. but I'm in the spirit of making this show the most interesting. Yeah, yeah.

I would like to see that interaction with her interviewing four or five people. I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with Cindy. You know what? I really liked her. I feel like she knows who she is. Also, like her situation, I feel like maybe call for a little, It's a little more emergency driven where she is in the middle. She's like, you know, what she's like, like an hour away from a town.

30 minutes from a small town. Yeah. So I kind of like, my heart really is going to go with Sydney. So I hear you on Matea. Matea is like a pretty easy home run, I think. But she's so young. And I just feel that like she's going to figure it out. So I'm going to go with Sydney.

And then my runner up would be Matea. And then I really liked Andy too. I thought Andy was great. Yeah, yeah. I liked Andy too. Yeah, I think my only, I liked Sydney, but I feel like finding people for her to hang out with in a small town.

It's going to be nearly impossible. From a producing standpoint is why I eliminated her from my top pick. That's, fuck. That's so true. We're going to let people vote. Okay. It's going to be up to the people. I'll stick with my thoughts then.

But boy, everyone was pretty great. I really liked Andy. also Sarah was like the cool skateboarder needed a skateboarding buddy I feel like all of these people would be great for it but I want to hear more about the animals getting butcher

maybe the question for us as just behind the scenes thing isn't who would we pick to play the friendship game it's who would we apply to be friends with which I think for Rob is a same Like, he would be friends with potato, the chef. But does that change your answer, Steve? I would stick with Sidney because I like the of a small town person who is like just isolated talking to cows and dogs and who wants to find Bigfoot.

Like that, that rings a lot of bells for me. By the way, you're on your third different drink. How many drinks do you have? Natalie brought me this. I've got a Topo Chico. And then you have like a green juice. A matcha also. What are you going to do when you run out of all three?

Can you just go home? Yeah, then I'm done. Well, you know, let me just say, everyone needs a cohort to walk through this life. Life is scary, life is terrifying, maybe now more so than it has been for a long time. And to go through life alone is a sad thing. You need a friend, not just to have fun with, to go an adventure with, to be concerned about things, you know, to say, like, hey, I'm scared. To look for a big foot. So I think friendship is important.

And while, you know, it's like, you know, I actually got the sense that every one of the candidates today was being very genuine and not just wanting to be on a, like, a successful podcast. I think they're like, no, I would kind of like a friend. Like, they seemed very genuine in their search. So I think that's a beautiful thing. Yeah, and hopefully we can help them find some friends. I think we can.

So everyone votes in the link, which will be in the episode description, that I don't have ready for you. But it will be by the time this episode is released. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers, Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis,

Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, who stand up on the road, go to Gareth Reynolds.com.

Remember all of the advice, given on we're here to help, is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon. and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod.

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