We're Here to Help - 216: Weird Here to Help: Full Shamans Only & The Language of Dance

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

Guest hosts Eric Edelstein and Steve Berg advise callers on the ancient rituals of animal sacrifice and dance therapy.Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Visit gemini.google/students to learn more and sign up. Terms apply.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. to help, the spinoff that America has fallen in love with, hosted by Steve Berg and Eric Elstein. You know, we just thought we would maybe weigh in real quick just to remind people what this show is. This show is hosted by two sweethearts, very sweet, gentlemen who often find the odd, interesting. And here's how we know this is a good spinoff. Jake and I would not be suited to handle any of the calls on this show.

They are certainly different, but also I really think we're finding the connection between this, what Jake and I do, and what Steve and Eric do. If you have any problems that you think are too strange for Jake and I to handle, email the show, um, as always. And, um, and enjoy. Without further ado, although there is a little ado because they're about to jump in. Ladies and gentlemen, by popular demand, weird here to help. Do you have something a bit obtuse, paranormal or crazy? Something other people laugh at. Well, friend, you're home.

Welcome to Weird Here to Help with Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein. Steve! Eric, we're back. We're back. God, you know, that's- By the way, you do such a great intro for my other podcast highest friend as Eric does the intro. And like, wow.

First, I don't know how much if I've ever told you this. I get so many compliments on that intro. And there's been quite a few people who go, like, is that Eric Edelstein from Twin Peaks? I'm like, because I get a lot of Twin Peaks fans on my listening to my show. And I'm like, yeah. They're like, how did you get him? I'm like, he's my home boy.

Membership has its privileges. You married me. I married. There's two people in the world that can say that. My wife and you, when it came down to officiating my wedding at the Burbank Moose Lodge, character actor budget, it was $900 and I just had to join the moose, which was amazing. But you officiated my wedding, Steve, less people ever think that were faking this for some Hollywood stuff. Look, and, you know, I had to improvise.

You know, it was not, like you said, the most perfect condition. The microphone didn't work, so I had to go, I had to raw dog it. But I think it went well. But boy, you nailed it. It was a highlight. You just brought us in. And Jake Johnson gave an incredible heartfelt speech. It was a beautiful time, Steve.

And it felt incredible having you up there to shepherd me into the marriage flock. Well, I will tell you, I have been to a lot of weddings. And that was by far the greatest location of all time. It could not have been more you either. Well, and that's a tribute to Jess, because when my buddy, buddy Tom called me. He's like, hey, I'm going to go see Jimmy Angel. He's this rock star that was signed on mafia record labels in the 60s of the Burbank Moose Lodge. And my mind immediately went, boy, that sounds like a good wedding venue at a very affordable price. And sure enough,

all I had to do was join the Burbank order of mooses. And it was $900. And then just transformed it. And then hilariously, our secret theme was if David Lynch directed a mafia movie. And then about two months later, ended up sneaking my way into Twin Peaks and was all kind of that lynchian magic, even just for the wedding. Yep, yep. You put that Lynch magic into the world. It's going to come back. It's going to pay dividends, Eric.

Well, and how lucky am I that I got to be there when the great Steve Berg, who I feel has an understanding of David Lynch parallel beyond anyone else, got to meet David Lynch. That was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. Yeah, it was amazing. You know, well, why not share the, we'll make the abridged version. And Eric and I got invited, I think it was Lynn, right? I had just done the TM education or the program, whatever. And we got invited to this, like, fancy Beverly Hills, like, get together at this, like, mansion.

Eric and I, and the lady, she's like, you know, well, you can meet David Lynch. I'm like, oh, my God. And so Eric and I, we look great. We have, like, sport coats on. Like, you know, we're looking good. I remember we were outside of the venue, like banging cigarettes of Ben Foster. Like, I was so nervous. Eric was calm as it could not have been more calm.

I was like, honestly, pretty much having a panic attack. Then Lynn waves us over and I freak out. And you, as such a good friend, kind of put your hand on me and usured me over, ushered both of us over to David Lynch. And we met him. I feel like I blacked out. I'm not even sure if I said anything. But he put his hand on my shoulder as one of the, I've never been so starstruck in my life.

Like, you know, he's, he's, he lit up when he saw you. He had an innate way of, of reading. people in knowing he knew exactly the greatness of your soul. Oh, stop it. I remember him patting you on the back and lighting up and getting a big kick out of you. And it had been my mission to get you two to meet. And I'm so happy that it happened. It was a treasured.

You and I have had some, we've had a lot of highlight moments. A lot of highlight, you have been there for. Eric, I want to mention something to you that I'm excited about right now. It's Barry Manilow. What? There is a song. was written for the movie Fowl Play with Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn. It's a great movie, but it's called I'm ready to take a chance again. And I want you at some point later today

to play that song at an unreasonable decibel. And tell me if that song doesn't move you. Oh, Steve, I'm in because there's so many people in my life you've gotten me hip to. And I have waves of, like Brian Jonestown Masker, Kenny Rogers. Oh, yeah. The Kenny Rogers, I had no clue and you took it to another level. Also, I will say this. this. Barry Manilow is playing the Westgate casino in Las Vegas regularly. Who played there, Steve? Oh, a little guy named Elvis Aaron Presley. Oh. Can you imagine you and I will say, for the pod, going to see Barry Manelow live in Vegas where Elvis had his residency? God. Should you do this? I would do. I mean, look, you and I thought Bill Shatner, William Shatner, play Prague Rock, Ponder the Mystery.

Yeah. I remember that? at the Canyon Club. Eric, I do. And I can also remember that that was the most red wine, cheap red wine I've ever drink in my life.

Remember we got so, we went to Burger King twice. Remember that? We went before the concert store. We went to two different drive-thrues. Yeah, both Burger King. It was so great.

And to see him at the Canyon Club, which is a lot of times where you see Legacy bands, cover bands, Tom Sandoval. No, and this night we got to see William Shatner do a Prague rock

experiment, ponder, the mystery. It was... What do we do? The Great Dionne. It was bananae. Banana of. And we were drinking warm red wine all night. Oh, my God, I miss it.

Have you seen Shatner pop up on Instagram lately? He's anti-polyester. Why? When I started wearing it, I realized you can't breathe. It can't breathe, Steve. It comes from oil. So I began wearing all cotton, linen, bamboo. I won't do polyester anymore.

And so he's anti-polyester, and I think I'm joining him on that path. I mean, I don't think I've ever worn polyester. That's not like a, that's a tough fabric to find for men, isn't it? Or is that common? Am I not aware? Well, the manix jacket was polyester. There you go.

But you know what? Sometimes beauty is pain, and I think it paid off, Eric. You know, sometimes you have to do things to look beautiful. And you did. And it paid off. And it's on record forever for everyone to join. Folks, if you're listening to us right now, Put it on pause, go look up Eric on the lowdown premiere and drink in this perfect 10.

I'm telling you, it is, you know, like, man, I'm, you know, like, I, you know, like, it's, I'm like, man, my, my buddy is handsome as complete. Bless you, but I can't hold the, wearing that hat. Your calendar, are you kidding me? Like, you're smoldering, Steve. Well, we're not here to butter each other's biscuits. You are. You're going to sign a lot of units. Well, you know, look, I need a Montana cabin.

So, let's see what happens. Eric, how about I... Is that your big goal? No, it's not. I always thought it was a second home. My big goal is to really just to maintain a lifestyle where I can eat good food and, like, you know, have a garden. That's it.

I'm a simple man. Less is more. I'm shedding my material goods. I'm trying to, I want to live a very simple life, Eric. Very simple. I love that. Right? Simplicity is beautiful.

What are you getting rid of? I get rid of half my books. Like a lot of UFO, Bigfoot books, I just didn't need anymore. And I'm not going to reference them. anymore, because I'm not doing that kind of research, per se. But, yeah, I got rid of a lot of, like, high-stranged occult books and stuff. Like, I just didn't need him anymore. I already had the information absorbed to my bones.

Well, and Steve, I think for going forward, it's exciting for people to see because people that maybe don't know you or your ethos that were like, oh, Steve believes an alien, Steve believes and goes, you are actually kind of a skeptic on a lot of it. You are so studied at an expert level, but there's not a lot of this stuff you actually believe in. Your expert study of this has allowed you to see a lot of the flaws in some of these theories and conjectures.

Yeah, and sometimes I feel like I'm a little bit of a downer to people who have like a mild interest in this stuff because I'm like, look, I will say, I think there's something to it. I just don't think like I'm wildly skeptical of people who say they know what this stuff is. Like, no one knows

if it's even real. But the stories are amazing. That's all I really care about. Eric, I have a question for you. Please. Are you ready to take some callers from people who have some problems that may be a little esoteric and angular? I'm so excited, Steve. I'm so excited. Let's meet some new friends.

What do you say, pal? Oh, I'm in. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace has sponsored us for a long time, and we appreciate them. We use them a lot. Go to garethrethrenalds.com to check out Squarespace. or if anybody out there is listening and wants to make a square space website for us for the weird here to help.

We'd appreciate it. Love Squarespace. I've been using Squarespace. I think as long as Squarespace has been around. Every website I'm associated with is Squarespace. Easy place to put your videos. They help you find the right domain. You can do donations.

They really just help you build up your brand. The SEO tools. That is search engine optimization, baby. Guess who's speaking the language? Squarespace just makes it so easy. You can monetize your content. You can add paywalls. You can do whatever you want to.

So you have no choice. But to go check out Squarespace.com slash gill sent me for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. You know, life's full of those little moments when you're sending money and it can make. a big difference. So why not do that with Zell? Gareth and I send money to each other via Zell. When we are in the hole to the other guy, the easiest way to do it is Zell. We both use it. They both know that it works. Pay and or request. Request money. Send me some money via Zell. Why? Because you owe to me

a little rat. Time to send me the money you owe me. My brother, the great Danny Jay, and I do something for each other that, to us, it's sincere and it's sweet. We always send each other money as gifts, and we do it randomly, and we use Zell. We'll just, every once in a while, he'll get $7.50 from me with a big subject that says, you deserve it. And even though he sends me money back, I know in his heart of hearts for a moment when he saw that $7.50 on a Tuesday morning, it's seven before. work, he thought, my brother loves me. And sure, when he sends me less back, do I think my brother loves me less? Sure, maybe a little.

Whether it's a big moment or a small moment, Zell is here for you, so you can be there for them. When it counts, send money with Zell. Introducing your new Dell PC with the Intel Core Ultra processor. It helps you handle a lot, even when your holiday to-do list gets to be a lot. Like organizing your holiday shopping and searching for great holiday deals and customer questions, and customers requesting custom things, plus planning the perfect holiday dinner for vegans, vegetarians,

pescatarians, and Uncle Mike's carnivore diet. Luckily, you can get a PC with all day battery life to help you get it all done. That's the power of a Dell PC with Intel inside. Backed by Dell's price match guarantee. Get yours today at Dell.com slash deals. Terms and conditions apply.

See Dell.com for details. Caller, hello. Can you hear us? Hi, I can hear you. Can you hear me? I can hear you fantastically. What is your name and where are you from? friend. Hello. My name is Isabel and I'm from Boston. Oh, Isabel from Boston. We love Boston. So Isabel, we're so honored that you entrusted us to help you today. What is going on? Okay. So I am calling because the situation is my father has been training for many years to be a shaman. And this is like,

the spiritual journey that he has been doing for like my entire life and he is approaching his the end of his training so he's getting ready for his shaman initiation which is very exciting very proud of him he's worked very hard on this and um so the so the common initiation doesn't have a set date yet but we do know that it will involve like a multiple day festival that will feature a bull sacrifice, which is not something that I am like personally, like emotionally capable of participating in, just due to the whole like bowl sacrifice of it all.

Yeah. But he's so excited about this. Yeah. And this is like his moment, like his biggest achievement that he's been working towards. and I want to support him and I want to be there for him in this big moment but I just can't do it

so every time he asks I kind of like skirt around the issue and I'm like oh well I'll think about it so that's the background so my question for you guys is I have been racking my brain trying to come up with a like some sort of like creative meaningful thing that I can do to like celebrate his accomplishment

that doesn't involve full sacrifice. Right. So, just so for clarification on my end, you are, you need to be there, right? Like, he really wants you there. He, like, really wants to be there. Yeah. Right.

And that's beautiful. I mean, you should be honored to be invited. I'm so honored. Yeah. What a beautiful thing. You know, I'm not an expert on shamanism, but I definitely am aware, probably, you know, more than the other person. So is Eric.

I can tell you that right now. but like is okay so like I'm breaking it down here you do not want to be there during the actual sacrifice I do not want to be there during the actual sacrifice I think that I would sustain psychic damage the likes of which I would not

recover from are you a vegetarian I am I'm a lifetime vegetarian lifelong vegetarian there we go there we go I am a medical student. I'm going to be a physician. So I'm really like more in the practice of like saving human lives, less like taking cow lives. Right. I'm with you on all that, sister.

I'm an unlikely, unlikely vegetarian. I look like I'd kill the cow myself. But I'm with you on it. The first question to me, the most important one, is your father indigenous? he's very like involved in that like it is it is part of that like community like indigenous yeah but is he indigenous like it to me it makes such a difference if it's part of someone's culture yeah anytime you delve into a white guy that's real into native americans that's becoming a shaman that's very very different from indigenous culture and traditions to me

So kind of what I'm hearing through the lines is your dad is not indigenous, but very into the culture and perhaps accepted by people within it. Yeah, I would say that that's a fair assessment. Right. So it's basically, you know, down to brass tax just kind of distilling it down. Like you, are you thinking like, I want to go to this ceremony, but I want to duck out for the sacrifice part. Is that kind of like your game plan? I don't want to go. Like here's the situation is it's in another country.

So it would be, like, a big commitment. And he keeps emphasizing that, like, the sacrifice is only part of it. And there's all of this other amazing, like, really impactful stuff that's going to happen. And, but he won't elaborate, which I think is a little suspicious. I feel bad because I want to, I want to celebrate him in his, you know, his accomplishments and, like, everything he's worked for. So I want, I'm looking for, like, another way that I can celebrate. Okay. What is the other country?

What country is the ceremony in? I don't know if I'm at liberty to share. Okay. Can you give me a continent? South American? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So it's a Huff from Boston. I feel like I have an idea of what's happening, potentially happening here. See, I said that, Steve Huff, and it's a bull. So what I, out the gates, I just view these very differently if someone is indigenous or from native culture or somebody embracing it as your father is. I have a friend that posted pictures of seal clubbing, and I am, boy, do I love seals. They're like puppies. They look like my dog chupy.

And yet, I completely celebrate my buddy's tribe because they had to club seals for centuries to eat, to live, to work. And again, I embrace their culture and their tradition. When you're dealing it with, absolutely, when you're dealing with a white guy coming in and it's not his culture, then I view this differently, which I think you made that be an opportunity to view it differently as well. And I completely agree with you. I would be extremely traumatized watching a bull get sacrificed. Why the hell does the bull have to suffer for this white guy to be a shaman? Well, I will say, to play the devil's advocate there, like, it could be very part of their culture. And a lot of times when they do sacrifices, just from the basic reading I've done, it is a way to honor the animal and honor the spirit of the animal.

And they, you know, in a lot of times in rituals of all kinds, it doesn't matter what kind it's on. Sacrifice of a living creature is part of it. It may not, it may not be what we like. And we, you know, I'm sure there's a lot of things that we do in the U.S. that people see it's inhumane, such as it's. have, like, SUVs and ruin the environment or have large refrigerers, blah, blah, blah, and go on and on. However, I feel like in their cultural lens, this is not a negative thing. Like, just as you were saying, it's the seal clubbing and stuff like that.

So we can take that out of the mix. However, you are wanting to find an alternative way to celebrate your father, right? Yes. Okay, great. So now, Eric, let's start pitching some ideas of different ways to celebrate. I like this, but Steve, out the gates, couldn't. One more question, I don't mean to belabor this. The people that are doing the animal sacrifice, are they indigenous?

And he's coming into their culture? The person who's doing the sacrifice is my father. Okay, but the people overseeing it. Are they native? Okay, they are. That makes a big difference to me, Steve, than a bunch of white guys of ponytails. Yeah, they're going to South America. So he's being brought into their culture to honor it, which does make a giant difference to me, Stephen.

Yeah, so to not do it is disrespectful. So then he's got. to do it. And I'm, I'm actually like, look, I eat meat. So what's worse, buying a grocery store and killing myself, I think killing myself is a better move. However, I don't. I should, though. Yeah. I should hunt. Anyway, I really, like, morally, I don't have an issue with the idea of, like, killing a cow. Yeah. You know, and they're going to, I'm sure they're going to do it, like, quickly and effectively, and then they're going to have a great lunch the next day. And that's, you know, that's fine. I just so long.

to be there for it. No, nor should you. You're an empath. I can already tell. And I recently was with somebody bitching about bullfighting while they ate a burger where I'm like, well,

you're going to, your mind's going to be blown when you hear where that burger came from. Let me, a couple of quick questions about your dad. Like, is he like an outdoorsy person? Like, I'm trying to think of like, if there's like a separate, like,

you know, like long weekend, like a little getaway, the two of you could do as a way to connect with nature and each other, right? Like, so for example, he does say, like, I love fly fishing, right? So if, like, you know, I had a daughter or, you know, and they were like, hey, I can't be here for this. But what we're going to do is we're going to go to Western Montana and we're going to go by the Madison River and rent a cab and fly fish a weekend.

Connect with nature. We're going to make some great meals. Like, I just think it's almost like, you know, like when you graduate from college, like there's sometimes like a celebration and people have a party. Maybe it's a keg party. Maybe your parents take it to a cool place. This is like you doing that for your father. He's almost like your child. So like I would find something in the natural world to go do with him.

Maybe it's like a little guided like hiking trip that is a little out of your comfort zone. So you're both like experiencing something adventurous together. That's my first pitch. I think that's a great idea because because I have been thinking like maybe have like a party more in the lines of like a graduation party. but I think that that's a little bit less meaningful than just, like, having some, like, quality father-daughter time out of nature. I feel like most, I mean, especially in sense it's like, you know, it's like you can have like a graduation party,

but it is for like, you know, shaman school. So it's like, I don't know if that like is the, you know, like a cat party is the first thing I think of when you graduated from Shad's school. But like, that's you, buddy. I'm looking to catch a bus and the Lord. Honestly, if I was graduating from Shama school, I would want to rock his cake party, but I'm definitely unique on that, right?

I would go to that. Are you kidding? When I graduated from Shama school, I want a keg of IPA and a keg of medello, okay? Oh, and then I want to hear what the great spirit has to say. Let it work through me. Right, so you're in the Boston area. Luckily, I mean, like, you are, you know,

if you even make it convenient, you could go do a guided hiding trip in Vermont, Maine. You're all over New England is so, unthinkably beautiful. And I would say an added thing would be you both trying something for the first time. Maybe it's like they have these workshops where you can like build your own bow and arrow and then learn how to shoot it. And it's like almost like this art getaway slash learning how to do something new.

And then you both develop a new skill together that you share. That's like a bond that's hard to break. You know what I'm saying? Right. And then maybe we could like go before and I could like talk to him a little bit. about his like shaman experience, how he's feeling about it. Yes. I have a wee bit of an idea here of something very cool we could do with your dad.

What if you told your dad, hey, you're a shaman now. You're going to need clients. What if I bring you onto a very buzzed about growing podcast for you to talk about your journey into shamanism? and we talked to you and your dad for 10, 15 minutes here because I would love to pick your dad's brain. I have many healers in my life. I can already tell from you, whoever raised you is a badass that I would like to spend some time with here in this machine. And if your dad is comfortable with it, and you say like these guys have very good intentions, and we would love to hear about his journey and kind of allow you to be the proud daughter

and allow your dad's message to get out with the world. and maybe it gives him a platform to start to really do some of the great work that has allowed him to embark on this journey. I'd love to meet him. Oh, Eric, I think that you guys would hit it off. Oh, I know he would. Like, trust me. There's a whole other thing.

I'd love to give up playing bad guys and killers to just go down there, not kill a bull, but fully embrace this lifestyle because the more time I've spent around it, it just makes a hell of a lot more sense than this crazy world we live in now. It's so cool your dad's doing it. And maybe we can give them a little bit of a platform, get some clients, and start helping people. Honestly, I might go kill a boar or an animal this weekend just for the, because I want to try it. I'm going to have a bunch of cashew cheese, sister, okay?

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm going to come to Boston. We're going to find a great vegetarian restaurant. You and I, we're going to love it together. But seriously, what do you think about telling your dad, like, I know these two very earnest giants that would love to hear about your journey to shamanism? we'd even love to hear about the Bull and everything else about that weekend and it can be like you were there with him

through this podcast and thousands of people are going to get to meet your dad. Absolutely. I think that he could be interested in that. Are you guys envisioning that happening like right now? Not right now. After he does his ceremony. We don't want to talk to an almost shaman.

We want to talk to a real shaman and get him, get his platform out there because I know your dad has wisdom to give all of us. Now, I am going to have to check his shaman papers that make sure they're notarized and everything. Look, I'm a stickler for the rules. Like, you know, anyone could just say they're a shaman. How many white guys in Venice, Eric, have you, or walking around saying they're shaman? Too many.

I've given money to too many in this life. Are you kidding? White dudes with dreadlocks. I mean, hey, man, I'm a shaman. What to buy an eighth? No, dude, I don't. Well, yes, I do, but I don't believe you're a shaman. But I think his dad, her dad has been accepted by a tribe and is going about this all

the right way. I think she and I would probably maybe have a quibble with a bull, and that's not for us. But that is their tradition. So I embrace and support it, just like I embrace my friend with the seals. Absolutely. Because it's a culture that's not mine, and there's no better way to honor it. And how dare people judge? So I think after your dad is a shaman, we would love to have him on and talk with him, talk with you. And I know our listeners would be fired up to me. Right. And so, and so, Isabel, to go back to the solve, are you pretty much, Do you feel like the kind of like getaway adventure, you both learn how to do something new out in the natural world together

is what you'll go with in terms of like alternatives? Yeah, I think that that was just a great, no, I mean, maybe we could pitch some ideas on, like, other things to include in the getaway. Like, I don't know if there are, like, other aspects you could think of, but I think that was a great, like, right out of the date. Well, the bow and arrow idea, I think it's good. Yeah, we can make the bow and arrows. It's something I'm looking into for my dad and I have.

actually. I'm not even joking. That's why it came up. That's a great that activity. But like I don't know like I don't know your dad's like you know you sound like a pretty young person. So your dad's probably a fairly youngish and if he's going to be able to go to South America and do these things, I'm guessing he's

a fairly in shape, you know, physically capable person. Yeah, he could do like a hike camp situation. Okay, yeah. I mean, I just, you know, it's hard for me to pitch ideas without knowing you too well. Like I don't know if you guys like fly fishing. That would cool. Like I love nature so much. I love camping. That is restorative. Those are the moments in my rocking chair on my porch that I'll be thinking about when I'm an old old man, if I'm lucky enough to get

there. I'll be thinking about the moments I've spent in the natural world, probably more than anything. This is starting to feel like a really great solution. And I already kind of intuitively know your dad will have empathy for it. And it's a great way for him to have a celebration again with his daughter that he's raised with all this love and empathy that doesn't want to be around a Bull getting killed and other stuff. I think it's a great idea. I might try to get my other sisters in on it, have a little like sisters' father trip.

I think that he's going to love this. I think it would be great too. I mean, like, or you could just go the total opposite way and like rent like a, you know, get some kind of Boston Star Tours and take them on like a trip

by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon's house. I'm kidding. I'm sorry. Yeah, we can also do that. That's sacred in its own way. It's very very, very, very, very sacred in its own way. How about them apples?

Not you, Sean. Robbie Williams, improvised this. I think you and your dad can find answers. And then we also truly would love to have you and your dad on this show after he's officially a shaman. We would. We really wouldn't. Ain't no half shaman stepping around here. But we would love to have him on and have you share your cool dad with the world.

Yeah, we'd love to have you. Eric, we're going to be. Yeah, I think that he would definitely be excited to. share his psalonic wisdom I love it tell him to bring the blade he slices the

the uh the the tattos throat with please don't no Tom's and leave the blood on it all right I do kind of I want to see the blade I admit it

I'm sorry I'm putting up a front yeah I mean I kind of want you also now see well also I mean Isabelle you know the you know like

if you know like the thing is I will say before you take this other our alternative route I would do some honest soul-searching about trying something out of your comfort zone, going to witness this, even though you don't like your morals and ethics are not about killing an animal like that. However, seeing it from the side of this culture and honoring in that, just say always keep that on the table because if you can find it in yourself to go and support, that's probably the ultimate. However, I do think some kind of natural world getaway is going to be a great alternative.

I feel like you have some good options here. Do you feel pretty good, Isabel? Yeah, I'm feeling good. I think that I will do some soul searching. I have a little bit of time, so I'll definitely take it under consideration. And I think that if I really feel like I can't do it, then I think that a little natural world getaway will be perfect. I do think it is such a different thing to hear that he's doing this with the tribe down there. and if you can find yourself open to it,

and yeah, there might be other stuff you're uncomfortable with, but I know you could just leave for the bore sacrifice and you don't have to eat it. So you have time, meditate on it. We've got a couple paths. Either way, no matter what you do, we want to have you and your dad on here because I think your dad's very cool.

You're clearly very cool, and we'd love to give him a platform as he begins his path as a healer. Love it. Yeah, yeah. I think that'd be awesome. Done. Perfect.

It is written. All right, Isabelle, will please keep, you know, stay in touch with us. You know how to get in touch with us, and we'd love to have it back on. And best of luck and do that soul searching, sister. Thank you so much. Thank you for all of your help and your wisdom. You guys rock. Oh, you do too.

Good luck. And thanks for being a doctor. Taking care of us. I hope I don't actually, never mind. You know what I mean. Good job. She doesn't know what you mean. No.

I don't know what I mean. No one does. Oh, I hope you're a psychiatrist. because that's what we really need right now with this wonderful large man. Isabel, it was an honor. We're stuck with us to be continued, and we look forward to meeting you and your dad in the machine here on Weird Here to Help. Yes, thank you so much.

Talk to you guys soon. Bye, sister. This episode is brought to you by Hero Bread. Hero Bread is wonderful. I truly love it. You know, part of the thing with bread is it's, you're shamed. all been bread shamed. You're not allowed to have bread. It doesn't fit in with your health and life goals. Well, guess what, Jack? Bread is back. Not only bread, now noodles. And when I say bread,

I'm talking bagels. I'm talking hot dog buns. I'm talking tortillas. You hear me talking. They have 17 to 19 grams of protein per 60% fewer calories, five grams of net carbs, zero grams of sugar, 32 grams of fiber. You just can't. not beat it. I eat the tortillas every single day. I'm going through a big hero bread phase. And what I do on a daily basis is I take the hero tortilla and I put sun butter on it and I put a little actual butter on it and I roll it up and I eat it for breakfast. And as Steve Berg would say, holy guacamole, it is fantastic. Hero bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to hero.com. CO and use code here to help at checkout. I truly recommend this bread. It tastes delicious.

That's here to help at hero, h-e-r-o. C-O. This episode is sponsored by Kachava. I love Kachava so much. I take Kachava on the road with me all the time. I put it in smoothies. Sometimes I just drink it on its own. It really is the greatest protein powder. I have ever had. It's got 85 plus superfoods, so that's 86 or above. Nutrients, plant-based ingredients, 25 grams of plant-based protein, each serving antioxidants, adoptogens. I think that's where the protein adopts you, takes you in. Cachava does that. Right now, we're going through the new strawberry flavor phase in our house and it's really working. I'm a protein shake guy, as Steve Berg says, got to get your powder then.

It's a real quote, he has said. You've never tasted strawberry like this. Go to kachava.com and use code here to help for 15% off your next order. That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com. Code here to help for 15% off. Hello. Hi. Hi.

I'm going to ask you a couple questions. What is your name, my friend, and what is your location? My name is Kelsey, and my location is Chicago. Oh, we love Chicago, the city of Broad Shoulders. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now, Kelsey, do you have a 503 area code? I do.

I'm from Portland originally. Ah, me too. What high school did you go to? Oh, well, I'm actually from a suburb of Portland. Which suburb? Oh, Lake Oswego. Oh, of course. So you go to Lake Ridge?

You go to Lake Oswego there? Yeah, Lake Ridge. Okay, I know Lake Ridge. I believe Kevin Love went to Lake Ridge. I went to Central Catholic commuting from Vancouver, Washington, so already were Northwest people. I'd like to ask you, Kelsey, just so we can get a little sense of you, could I have, you're on a desert island,

you can only take one movie, one album, one book, Kelsey from Lake Ridge High School. What would they be? Oh. Without thinking, without thinking. Okay, movie, bottoms, book, Little Women. Ooh. Album, I'll go with Dance Fever by Florence and the Machine. Okay.

I get a sense of who you are. We love it. We love it. Okay. And so sorry, I don't mean to think of too much time, but I have to know this. Otherwise, I won't be going on with this. Deep dish pizza or Chicago thin crust tavern style? Okay.

I love both deep dish. I think you definitely have to be in the mood for those. So if I'm just having pizza. I'd go tavern style. That was the right answer, by the way. That was the right answer. You're killing it so far, Kelsey. Well, we're done.

We feel like we know you. I love it. Yeah, last time I had deep dish, there was a battle in my stomach afterward, and I lost. It was Antietam and my small intestine, and, oh, boy. Oh, DefCon, 4. You have to block off the calendar.

You get it. You get it, Kel. Oh, we're already, this is great. We found common ground. We're pitching a tent, Steve. Yeah, it's basically, yeah, this is great. Kelsey, now, I am to understand. And Eric, as well, that you have an issue that you think, oh, my buddy and I could help you out with.

Would you like to lay it upon us? Yeah, hopefully. So I'll just make a long story short. The issue is I need help breaking up with my dance therapist. Dance therapist. Wow. Yeah. Can you, first off, because I'm not aware of the dance therapy.

I'm aware of music therapy and other kinds of therapy, but break down dance. dance therapy for Eric and I, would you? Basically, it's like normal talk therapy. I, like, tell her about my issues for the first half, and then she puts on music and makes me dance around the room for the second half. Okay. I love this. I love this, too.

I think, first of all, we're going to give some good advice now, but I think you and I do need to do at least one dance therapy session, because this sounds amazing. Yeah. Kel, I don't know if you figured out. Steve and are both huge live music people. And for me, music's my medicine. When I go to a concert, I feel filled up and healed and so much that is moving my body.

So I guess the first natural question is, why do you want to break up with your dance therapist? Well, so I actually have enjoyed it a lot. I accidentally started going. Like, I did go to a normal therapist, and then she quit therapy. So she was like, oh, there's other therapists here. And then I didn't hear anything for, like, three months. and then all of a sudden I got a call that was like, hey, I have you on the schedule for dance therapy tomorrow at 9 a.m.

So I was like, oh, okay. So I just started going. And she's really sweet. She's really great. I just feel like me and her aren't like, if we don't have a normal therapist-patient relationship, I feel like we're more like friends. Like I go in and we kind of like gossip.

And she tells me about her problems. There we go. Yeah. Kelsey, I have been here. been there with a number of times I had a reflexologist and God bless her she was great but after a while she got a little too comfy for me and then I started like talking to her about like her dating life and I'm like I'm literally paying you like 80 dollars a session and now I'm doing your dating advice so I totally know what you mean there is a certain point

where you just kind of like want it to be professional and not cross over into the friend zone is that is that kind of what the struggle is yeah totally like yesterday she told me all about her sister's divorce and then how her like childhood friend Melissa was super messy. Inappropriate. Eric, what are your thoughts on? Yeah. Well, dare I say that all three of us perhaps often in this society have to pay the empath tax. Yeah. And it is so funny to me because I swear I will walk into a store and say, I'm just going to keep this low key by the book. And then next thing, a checker will be telling me about their uncle dying that week. And, like, yeah. Well, Kelsey, I think, one, I think you're an empath. And I think you're somebody that people enjoy and feel comfortable telling their problems to. And I bet you have good solutions, which is great and awesome. And not enough people are like that. But the issue here is you're paying this person to help you, not the other way around.

There becomes a certain point where you start to feel like, hey, I'm being cheated and I'm paying money and I'm not getting anything out of the service. In fact, the teacher who I, or the therapist who I'm paying is getting more of it. and I am. And so I do believe, like, when you are paying for a service, you should get what is advertised. And that is therapy and help as not the other way around. Yeah. So I think you're leaving at a deficit. This person is draining your energy. And it's a loaded term, but energy vampires are very real. There are certain people I know, I'm going to have to take an Epson bath and really blast some obscure Neil Young stuff to feel better. And right now, we're in a deficit sit with this person. So I think the other natural question is how important is the friendship. Like, do you really want to save this friendship and how delicately do we have to be in this

breakup? Or is this someone's like, this is a drain. I am just fine, not seeing this person again. Chicago is one of our friendliest greatest cities in the world. There's a lot of people I'd rather be hanging out with. Yeah, yeah, I guess I don't need to have her as a friend. she's just so nice that I feel like so bad telling her I don't want to see her anymore. Yeah, I hear you. I think you're probably talking about two dudes who like understand the fear of like having confrontation that might disappoint someone. Not that it's confrontation, but just having that moment where you're disappointing people.

I hate it. I personally struggle with that as well. I think we bonded over that, Steve. We both want to make people happy. We do. That's why we're here today. how much is she charging you for this dance therapy yeah well i get through insurance but i have like a 30 dollar copay and i used to go biweekly but he was like you're so much fun you should come

every week so she convinced me to start going more okay oh oh grifty this is hard yeah i've had to break up with acupuncturists yeah um took a weird crazy turn during covid yeah it's a it's a very real thing when people just start clinging too much and wanting your energy. So of course you want you in there once a week. She's giving, you're giving her free therapy. Right. And I may just say, Eric, I don't know how you feel. I think I think I do. But

Kelsey, I think you're doing the right thing. I think you're doing the right thing. I think your instinct to break up and have a nice clean break is good. And I honestly don't think for this one is something that you really need to overthink. Okay. Eric, let's start maybe pitching some ideas on how

we can do this gently because Kelsey sounds like a sweet soul who doesn't like oh i can already tell not want to hurt people because i mean like i have plenty of friends who would be like yeah uh they have no problem of firing people they have no problem of letting people go for me it like takes months off my life so kelsey let's figure in a way to do this gently so where you feel good about it and hopefully uh the therapist does as well so so option one is like a delicate and this isn't tied in with our journey through people please but a delicate i don't don't want to say lie, but not presenting all the truth of, hey, we got so much out of this

dance therapy. We are now able to graduate from it. Wow, I will never forget how in tune with my body and soul and spirit I am. I thank you so much for that. But I do think I just need a regular therapist now. Now, this person, I will guess, will then counter you can come for free. Of course, she will say that because she's getting free therapy. Right. Right. Right. That's it. with a delicate lie of, but I think if we start viewing this as it's not a breakup, this is a graduation. Yes. We are able to move on.

We are so inclined with our body and everything else now. Also, I believe, Kelsey, if I'm hearing your subtext, you have a new project coming up that's going to take up a whole bunch of your time. I was just going to say, you're writing a novel, you're doing your first EP. You're going to do a vipasana meditation where you're not allowed to talk to anyone for eight months. Already we're veering off perhaps the proper way to solve this. but this is a way to do it from two recovering people pleasers of like there's a way to nudge this without hurting feelings and being like you're an emotional goddamn vampire i'm here to get weird wear a two to and dance around and work through my stuff and instead i'm working through your stuff and it's not working now we kind of get now let's get down to the nitty gritty it's like obviously there's you can do it in an email i'm wondering if the best way to do it it's kind of the scariest way but is to go to the therapy session dance your stuff you're

sweet little heart out and then at the end when you're sweating you're catching your breath you're taking a little sip of water out of your hydroflask you say wow this is so great uh Melissa just you know kind of using that as a phone name right now but I and then kind of go into your spiel about like I have I can't even tell begin to tell you how much I've gotten out of this do that kind of spiel and then I think also just talking about like I'm really trying to focus on budgeting my time for myself because time, like, not having enough time is really starting to weigh on me. So, I mean, like, and what can somebody say to that? What if after that, you just dance out the door?

I mean, if you do a soft shoe as you're leaving the dance studio, then you've reached epic godlike, God tier performance. That's, it doesn't get better than that. I'm always, I think a little soft shoe in any situation is great. Always. And well, let's say that the Buddhists are right and we're here in this incarnation to learn certain lessons. This becomes an opportunity for you to start to work on that people pleasing and boundaries. And I think for Steve and I for years, it was the magic of yes, saying yes. And now for me, I've really found the magic of no and not feeling resentful. And my therapist has an amazing expression of, is it for fun and for free? So I tend to sometimes overhelp people and my wife will come and is, is this for fun and for free?

And I'm like, it truly is. Other times I'm like, no, it's not. I have a horrible psychic toll that's coming in and this isn't good. So perhaps this is an invitation for you to take this giant step toward standing up for yourself and how you want to be treated and how you want to have a therapy session go. and I think Steve's really on to something here of like very delicately in person saying it having to look that person in the eyes is powerful

having to say no in person is powerful and it might be just where yes yes if you go back on emails or with a phone call then I feel like the the therapist is going to be like I could still probably get her back you know and they'll try be ready because someone like this a clinger oh oh it's not easy

I do think there is a potential resistance where she may try to repitch you, like Eric said, like, well, you can come to class for free or take a break, but come back. And to that, I would say, like, you can say, sure, maybe down the road I'll change my mind. And maybe you will. Maybe you'll end up missing it. However, I would say you just got to be firm. You have to be decisive when you walk into the dance studio that, like, this is the last time I'm coming today. And I'm going to, as I'm going to quote my friend Eric here, I am going to detach with

love. Oh, I like that. Yeah, if you keep that mantra in your head of I'm detaching with love, I don't think you can go wrong. Whatever you say will work. What are you thinking, Kelsey? I love that. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. I do like the idea of going and doing it in person and then having like a pretty normal session and then kind of dropping it on her at the end. Right. yes so then we don't have time to like dance about that's exactly right wanting to go anymore it does help because she could have another another client right afterwards or you know obviously like people you know you your parking meter is about ready to run out so that way it's not one of these things we're like there for 45 minutes and like tears are being shed you know like

when I broke up with my reflexologist it did not go well um so I'm trying to save you from that heartbreak because she was like crying yeah can I I fired an old agent one time and she cried on the phone. So I'm obviously, you know, like, sorry, Kelsey. So sorry, Kelsey, this is Jesse here, the producer. You said something about you're afraid that she would make you dance about the breakup. Is that right? Yeah. So, like, how, what, I wonder if there's something that we could pitch around preparing yourself for that possibility. Maybe, like, there's some extra props that you would bring for the dance portion, just in case there is some extra time and she makes you do that. I would.

scarves or something. Or what if you had a, if you just had a glow stick and a pacifier and you like, when all of a sudden you're like, it's like you're tripping your balls off, you're on an EDM concert, you know, like, that might just like confuse the therapist so much. It's like, yeah, you know, well, maybe I don't need you as a client either. Or do the breakup after the big dance, too. Then we don't need the cathartic final dance,

which I imagine like the dude's landlord and Big Lobowski. Well, dance is a language. You know, it's a language. So maybe like the three. The other issue is I don't always get to choose the music. Like she chooses it a lot of the time. What if you took the reins on this particular recession? You go, you know, look, Melissa, Dr. Melissa, I'm kind of feeling like, you know,

maybe we want to hear some smash mouth today or something. I don't know. Yeah, you drive her away that way. Put on the worst music known demand. Limp biscuit. That'll do the trick. Oh, yes. Then limp biscuit B-sides?

Now, because I could tell, because when we asked early, your Desert Island stuff, you got a really great taste and stuff. And first of all, she should be letting you run the music. And it's an insight into her ego and perhaps why you want to leave.

What is she making you listen to? Steve and I, sweet as we are, we're both big snobs. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what is she putting on? Is it like new-wagey kind of spa music? It really is. is so different every time.

Like sometimes it's like nature, wind times and it's more of a sway. One time, it was the Pirates of the Caribbean theme, and it was like I was marching around the room. Or I was Beyonce one time. I'm gonna fucking buy a plane ticket to Chicago and break

up with this lady for you, because this is a ballroom. And this might change everything. I think maybe you need to go out there and just yell at her and say, you have subjected me to some awful ambient nature sounds. Pirates of the Caribbean sounds like, here's my problem, Steve. When she saw that, I'm like, hold on, that's kind of visionary.

We might have tapped into a real true healer in the windy city. I don't know. I may be selling out there to start. This is where it all goes awry. This is where Eric and I drift off. Look, we're aligned, but look, we will have different opinions. To me, like, if I'm going somewhere and I'm shelling out some cash a couple bucks, money's hard to come by people and someone puts on some wind chimes, I'm like, get me the fuck out of this place, dude.

Also, Beyonce is a little down the middle. It's a little easy. Which is fine. And you should be able to pick it because music is essential to you. If I'm paying someone for therapy and God bless, they're putting on the foo fighters, I'm not into it. I'm not going to get what I need. No, no, no, no, no, no. Look, Kelsey, the more I hear about this, this therapist, the more I feel like take any guilt,

ball it up into a little wad and throw it to planet Saturn, okay? Because you have the way, I feel like she's conducting this in a pretty sketchy way, if you ask me. First off, like, look, I mean, like, I'm fine with some new ideas and dance therapy. I believe in, I know music therapy works. My wife used to be a music therapist. And I'm sure there is a place for dance therapy. But first off, you're not getting anything out of it anymore. And now you're becoming the therapist to her.

And you're paying a copay of $30. And that ain't nothing. $30 is $30. That's a large pizza. a two-liter and maybe a side salad. So what would your ideal breakup, a breakup song be? Great question, great question. Oh.

What's your all-time favorite breakup song? What's gotten you through a breakup before? If you have nothing, I'd recommend maybe a father figure by George Michael, which is a great song. I'm being genuine. I love that song. It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

I can't think of a good breakup song right off the top of my head. The only thing that's coming to mind is that Lala Land song by Demi Lovato that was like a Disney song. I don't know it. Oh, yeah, I'm a Lala Lange guy. I'd also, I think the foremost one is Carol King. Because it's too late, baby, now it's too late. But we really did try to make it.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's a good too. Throw on some Carol King, because that one, it's like, God, we had a great time. We had a great relationship. It just isn't here anymore. Energy's changed. Now, there is a song actually on the same album by George Michael, George Michael's faith,

which happens to be a probably Jake might kill me, but Jake and I secretly have loved that album for a long time. And there's a song on Side 2 called Teacher. And it's a song, and Teacher, there are things that I don't want to learn. I mean, that song is like, on the nose. You could do a like soft shoe out of there, kind of a slow motion thing. Oh, my gosh. You know, back, bow, let your body do the talking.

Let the language of dance. Okay. I like it. I mean, I feel like it's okay to go big, have some fun with it. Kelsey, what do you think? Do you think any of these ideas you might consider implementing? Yeah, I think a mix of all of them. Definitely.

I want to go in person I want to say it at the end I love that maybe like not at the very well I can't decide if I want to say it at the very very end so then I can like just get out of there or if I should give a little bit of time to like let us play a breakup song and dance to it

I could be so cathartic it could be yeah it could take a turn but I promise we desperately would like to know how it goes down how it happens. Steve and I are much less busy than Jake and Gareth, and we're here to hear it.

I will say that, and I will say this. I love your idea of maybe you both therapies yourself with that George Michael song. I feel like, I know this is a very,

like maybe, you know, not typical angular way of doing it, Dr. Melissa, but I'd like to dance with you this song. One last dance for us.

Okay. One more cup of coffee for the road, as they say. say. Wow. One last dance. Do you know, so I would, I, we would love to hear how this goes.

Would you be willing to come back on and regale us with the story of this? Because I, I can, I can sense in your voice, you want this to happen. And I don't think you should wait on this. I think if you have, if you have a session plan for tomorrow, I think tomorrow is the day. Okay. We're here with you. Our energy is with you. It's next week.

Okay. When is it next week? Kelsey, you got this. You got this girl. I mean, like, no problem. I hear confidence in your voice. I hear conviction and I hear somebody who wants to get out of a situation that they're not comfortable anymore.

You deserve better. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready. You're already, Kelsey. This is great therapy. Better therapy than my dancing. Hey, we're here to help. Weird here to help.

Look, yeah, we're here for you, sister. You're from Portland. You live in Chicago. You like, think, crest. You know, you know, you're on our team. You know what? So, you know, look for a windbreaker in the mail because you just join a gang. A gang, a gang, rub and light here.

You got two giant guys that have your back anytime, anywhere. Know that, this is real. Yay. Thank you so much, Kelsey. Kelsey, keep us update. It was an honor to meet you, and I'll see a dues grill right off Sandy, Portland, Oregon. Next time I'm home for Christmas. You got this, sister.

Awesome. Please let us know how it went. Thank you, guys. Thank you. We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, Please email us your question at HelpfulPod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here Here To Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog.

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike. Animations by Andrew Sturster. Lecky. And if you'd like to see Gareth who stand up on the road, go to garethrenolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod.