We're Here to Help - 218: We're Here to Chat Vol 5: The Last Boomer

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

On the latest edition of We're Here to Chat, Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein join the guys to talk The Pipperoos, Jake's last wishes and the breathability of red carpet fashion. Plus, the latest from Vandy Camp.Vote on which pictures will be featured in Steve's sexy calendar: Weneedtopick.com/stevecalendarWant to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Visit gemini.google/students to learn more and sign up. Terms apply.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. of Weird Here to Chat. We're here with the gentlemen. We're doing another chat. Ladies and gentlemen, we premiered, We're here to chat and the numbers speak. We're here to help.

And the numbers speak for themselves. You people loved it. Ah, man, what a great thing to hear. We sure liked doing it. It was great. I still want to let you down. If there's a reason we didn't talk to you or Gareth after we did it,

and we're a little scared. We just don't want to let you down. Oh, you listen to us discussing it. Oh, yeah. Come on now. When I'm talked about, I want to hear. Look at Berg's face. How did you hear them discuss it, Eric?

It's on the Patreon and then also on the intro to the weird here to help we did. On the show. On the actual show. I did listen to our actual show. Stephen, you've just been busted that you didn't. I couldn't love you more for it. I couldn't love you more for it, buddy. I wish I had that level of lack of ego.

Okay. Or just confident. Steve's like, why don't I have to listen to X-O-Ewen. It's funny because I listen to everything. Steve's the kind of guy who doesn't even taste the sauce as he's cooking it. It tastes good. It's good. Well, it does taste good.

That man has taught me to make a red sauce, and it has changed the lives. Steve had the look on his face of that somehow missed my files. Take a look around here. Very clean. I'm not sure what happened. I'm organized and colonizing. Just to get us. started. We all sat down.

Gareth and I have been recording. We've had some bangers today, have we not? Yes. There's some great stuff. Some great stuff. We're all doing our setup with Natalie. Natalie's the boss. She's running through things. And Steve said, as he sat down, boy, have I had a morning

this morning? Yeah. I mean, and maybe my inflection had a negative connotation, but it's been all positive. I've been able to squeeze in a lot, Jake, which you know I like. Woke up. No breakfast, two cups of coffee, do a 45-minute peloton, do a 30-minute weight training peloton class. Wow.

Wow. Look, like I'm training for the Olympics because I know weekends coming up and I'm going to go big, food-wise. So, you know, then I had to hurry up and meet my parents in South O, and they got lost on the way to this restaurant. And my dad pulled, like, flagged some guy to ask for directions because they refused to learn how to use their map thing. And then the guy is like, follow me. I'll take you to the restaurant. And I can hear this happening. I'm going, no, don't follow a stranger to it.

Anyways, that all happens. It goes, it goes, well, I barely make it to the Mexican grocery store because I'm having people over for the Nebraska and tomorrow. And I'm making chicken tinkas. And I mean, like, what are you making, Steve? What are you making? Chicken tinga tacos, some traditional yellow rice with peas and carrots in it. Obviously, a black bean, a pinto bean.

and I'm going to do some just toastata fixings. It's kind of about, you know, make your own taco buffet, you know. Oh, buddy, I wish I was there. I'm whipping up margaritas, cold beers in a cooler, you know.

This is just, if only everyone could see his fingers. Yeah. He's doing real, like, kind of. Let me get my pen. Oh, God. Ballinger's back. So, but yeah,

and then, you know, skit, you know, just kind of like skid it in here, like the Dukes of Hazard, fed my cats, got here, a little sweat, on the brow right in time for to chat with my buddies.

Steve, you bring up a point. I think we need to start doing iPhone classes for boomers. Yeah. Because they were raised with, yeah, his parents had to get a guide like the Oregon Trail to lunch. It was not me with us. No, well, you are. We are the last boomers, guys. Here we sit.

That's why the numbers are good, I think. Seriously, like my parents bless their hearts. My dad was in a huge bridge tournament yesterday against a Jeopardy champion. Whoa. And he answered the phone. He's like, Eric, I can't talk right now. And I've told, Mom and Dad, you don't have to answer the phone. And my mom will, Eric, I'm sorry we weren't there.

I was with Terry and Deborah. And I'm like, Mom, you don't have to tell me why he didn't answer the phone. It's all great. There's a midwifing, I think, with our baby boomer hero friends and parents and loved ones that we kind of got to help with these phones. They don't want to learn those, what I'm convinced of. Yeah, it's a great call. That's it. Here we sit.

We went from Vietnam to Wall Street. Oh, shit. Jake. Vietnam to Wall Street. Jake. I'm excited to hear how Jake's going to respond to this. No, Garrett, go ahead. Well, I can, I, I, we all are.

But it's, I'll say a couple things very quickly. You guys, there's a renewed energy to you too. I think since we validated the, uh, and confidence. Confidence and validation of, of you two. Steve Steve has always had it Maybe it's blind, who knows But Eric, this is

But this is You've been validated And we now feel It feels like your boys are driving A little bit more Nobody's mad at it But I will say The takeaway from what Berg

Has gone through To be that older people need iPhone training Which is a lovely sentiment Is not anywhere near the neighborhood Of what I was reacting to What was your reaction, GR? I'll start my first one

So many episodes That's isn't what he said that I was in S heaven. I just went to Lisp Town, and boy was I loving my stay. But also, the level of things that he's doing, the specificity, he's saying Tiga tacos and whatever it is, and we're letting that fly. The way he also moves now that he's an Omaha chef is so different with food. He's got salt-based fingers all the time. You're surrounded by too many people complimenting you. well i'm bringing my big city knowledge to the midwest

see jake just a bunch of people going like wow these are great nachos he's got you are missing a gareth and a jake in your circle i mean like the reality is i i have been all friend groups i mean not like there's plenty of critics in my life i believe this is your first calendar and i believe that that you do not that is not fair to what Jake and I do. Question in terms of the calendar. So we just found out that Steve Berg worked out twice. And I will say this about you.

You are a very athletic guy and you do have very good cardio. Thank you. So you are a guy who always works out. I like to eat. Yeah, we all do. Yeah. I mean, that's a great response to that real quick.

Yeah, it's true. It's a perfect response. I totally get it. a Peloton and a weight class, that's different for you. You're not a two-and-one-day guy. No. Did something about the calendar inspire a change? No, I, well, I don't know.

It definitely didn't. This is a, I've been on this regime for a little while, and on Fridays, I like to go as hard as I possibly can because I usually do a pizza Saturday. And I'm not a casual pizza eater. Like, I can't have, like, oh, I'll have, like, a piece or two. We know, we know. By the way, it's like how I drink beer. Merch, he's a merch title machine right now.

Also, one month in the calendar, you know, we were talking about Steve Berg quotes. One of them has to be, I'm not a casual pizza eater. Well, unfortunately, like, I have some binging qualities, which probably aren't great. But, like, you know, I'm not a guy who's like, I'll have a beer with dinner. No, I need, like, you know, eight to nine, anywhere to 25 beers. I think we're all similar on this. Yeah, right? So like with pizza, I like to eat a large abundance of it.

So that means I got to go, I got to pull a two a day on Friday. Also, the two a day is in preparation for your Saturday pizza eating. That's exactly right. There's nothing to do with the calendar. I hear that. I believe that 100%. Yeah, but you and I have always been similar on the motivation to exercise. You love eating just as much as I do.

I do. I adore it. It's my favorite. I went out with Beck Bennett, the great Beck Bennett and Jesse Hodges in New York. Sorry. You do? Yeah, I think they're trying to kick me. Wow.

Hold on. Jake, I want to hear about this New York situation, though. I just told it in the intro. It was as insane of a story as it gets. And it was, what Natalie says is I was making a lot of bad decisions. Oh, I got to hear this now. I don't think I was making bad decisions. I left my phone at work when I was being dropped off.

Yeah. And I went to a hotel and I wasn't paying attention where Transpo was taking me. So it was about 7.38 at night. I got dropped off. Production had half a scene left. I get to my hotel. I have no phone. I have a plane ride in the morning right after.

Oh, shit. And I tried to log on to my computer, but I couldn't get on because it sent a code to my phone. Oh, no. So that panic led to a crazy series of events that Natalie disagreed with the premise. She said, don't leave the hotel. And I think leave the hotel, get out of the streets. Go out into the wild where you don't know where you are. When you're hungry as hell, you're tired.

Don't get in the fucking tent. Get out amongst the animals, see if you can catch them with your hands. You had no idea where to go. He also picked a random studio that he thought maybe was the right one. It was not the right studio. An epic. Then what happened in your point of view, Natalie? Then you wandered around for a while.

Wondered. Just like hoping for the best. I don't even know. Ran into some random guys. He just ran. Tried to get them to talk on their walkies. They said no. So I just want to recap.

Seven minutes ago, I was mocked for saying we need iPhone classes for bullets. by Jake Johnson The last boomer Eric Good Lord Thank you Whatever this is Because you're giving me mana

I will take Are you kidding I will take as a title And I want on my gravestone And this is now real And you three guys are responsible for it And I mean this When my dad died

He said put me in Wrigley And it was my job I'm telling you You three guys You know how much I love you And I'm holding to this for real I want all my stuff to say the last boomer

I mean my God I'll shizzle that shit myself The last Where somebody sees it Obviously at 80 years and goes like Boomer and they go oh it's a generation When did I think that generation ended about 18 years

Before he was born I guess he was the last How old was this guy? I don't know but he was the That's crazy He was the last boomer Yeah, you're like one of the guys that was like still fighting for Japan in the early 60s

You'd have to like pull out of these roads My phone Where's my iPhone? I got to go to a studio I'm gonna walk around Bushwick Until I find somebody that knows where I am He just ran Oh my God

Did you end up getting the phone? I got it man by How did you get it? So I just started chasing down things That looked like production vans Most of this thing The most dated vehicle to chase down is an American van, by the way. This is like if a wizard turned a dog into a man.

He just ran and chased cars till he found his phone. And then, literally, I got there, my whole production was gone, but somehow the studio was left unlocked. So I got into the stages. My dressing room was on, like, the third floor. Every floor had a locked door. They were all unlocked. Then I get to my dressing room, which should have been closed and locked, wide open.

Oh, wow. And my phone is sitting right on the table. Wow. And then I wanted to get, you know, a woman helped me at a hotel earlier. This will be after that intro, so the audience will have known it. But I wanted to get her a bottle of alcohol as a thank you because she was very helpful. And I ended up going into a bodega. They didn't have what I needed.

The guy recognized me and gave me his delivery. scooter, the electric scooters. Wait, no. Yes. No. Yes. And, hey, Natalie, will you send the photos? Will you put him on the Zoom?

And so then I get on this, guys. He teaches me how to use it. I started zipping around Brooklyn on one of these delivery scooters going 15, 20. And then I get back. He wants a pick. I want to pick. So I jump behind the counter where he's making the sandwiches. And we asked some random people in line to take photos of us.

Oh, my. My God, you're like Crocodile Dundee when he went to New York and he was such, you're a fish out of water everywhere. It doesn't matter where he is. You're in the ultimate, I mean, you could put him in a small town in the U.S., you can put him. Oh, my God, look at that. Look at this. We're in the pod hat, seeing the deli meats. By the way, Natalie said, Natalie said he didn't look that sweaty.

He does look sweaty. I'm dripping, Garrett. That's also kind of his baseline. That's a nice scooter. Look at the duct tape. Yeah. That's a nice scuder. I was zipping around.

This guy could be your cousin too, Jake. What's that? Yeah. This guy could be your cousin too. Yeah. His last line as I was walking out of the deli was, hey man, let's go to the club. And I said, you got it, man.

And then he said, I'll see you soon. You bring the ladies. And I said, no problem, man. I'll see you really soon. And I walked out and started cracking up and thought, that was about as weird as a three hours as I've had in a decade. Wow. Bless your heart.

Long may you run, King. Long may you run. The last mover. Oh, you kidding. Because I've gotten reports of Jake Johnson's sightings around Bushwick. I'm like, I saw your buddy Jake. And then there's a pause

because they're waiting for me to do, oh, go up and say hi, which will not come from me with anyone. Where I'm like, just acknowledge him in the wild, give a nod, and move on. Let him exist as he is. Let a professional. This is awesome for the king.

Stehberg's tracking him. There's the last true boomer walking around. There's the last boomer. He's a lot of us. Mommy, one Wall Street, here we sit. Speaking of, Eric and I had a New York adventure together. We sure did. We went to the White Horse Tavern.

And who did we see again at? Oh, man, I got so excited. We walked in and a true hero was there. As the guy sitting people was the great and incredible, brilliant actor, Jeffrey Owens. Don't know. You, he's in everything. but Steve, let me just drop one word on you from the Cosby Show, Eldon. Oh, Eldon from the Cosby Show.

And this guy really grabbed my heart, because I've always been a fan, but during COVID or something, somebody posted a picture of working at Trader Joe. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, he was like, yeah, he is the quintessential New York actor, where he could probably come out here, have coasted buying commercials, but he wants to do stage work. And he was like, yeah, I have to work at Trader Joe sometimes and work other day jobs. I also will get on my high horse about how our residuals have fallen off

but he happened to be there working at the White Horse Tavern and I was, had never been there Jake knew it, walked me through the history of Dylan Thomas and Bob Dylan. And what did you say to him about the conspiracies that changed the vibe? Do you remember?

Here we go. We walk everybody through what happened. He was really friendly. I'd really rather not. He gave us a book about the history of the tavern we had all, he and I worked together on minks. So we were talking. Eric was So we were having like really nice moments. I said, like, I just wanted Eric to see this place.

You know, Dylan Thomas, that's where he sat. He goes, there's a great history here. And then Eric, do you mind jumping in here, baby? Well, we were moving. We were moving. And moving so much so I thought he'd like to know about the turn that old Bob Dylan has done lately. On his latest album, he says, I'll be at the Dark Horse Tavern on Armageddon Street,

basically saying that there's this surge of evil. And as the good comes, there must be a parallel. and I was sitting there explaining this to Eldon from the Cosby show and kind of watching his eyes glaze over and become slightly worried about me. And he kind of gave a tap and gave Jake a look like, it's so sweet you're helping your friend. He's clearly got some issues.

Steve, out of nowhere. The guy's like, this is a history of the New York goes, man, that's an incredible book. Do you know about the dark history that Bob Dylan has unrevealed in his place, man? Do you know all the conspiracy? I'm looking at him like, how do you go from zero to 100 miles an hour? Oh, boy. Well, Bob Dylan's rough and rowdy ways is a vision into the future.

It may not be pretty. We may not like it, but I believe it's prophecy. Well, but some people didn't articulate it well in that moment. But then at that moment, Eric's really cooking with gas, so he leaves weird to laugh. The wagers comes, gives us our salad. And just doing like, here you guys go. And Eric does a thing that Eric does at restaurants that he knows I love, but I'll never get. and you know how he does this.

But even if you're at like a short order, nothing place, he always wants to compliment the food and tell the waiters is what he likes about it and what he does specifically. So the woman comes and then starts to leave and Eric goes like, wait, she turns around, he goes, I'm putting the hot peppers on the salad. And she goes, okay.

I just thought, why came? it's also a New York thing I'm realizing New Yorkers don't need to hear this stuff from me they really don't care they're slightly confused by it L.A things move so slowly like all right I can deal with this wacko in his anecdotal I think you're right it's different in New York things are moving so quickly it's more like why am I real too friend but they're slightly afraid of me because of the size and crazy eyes so they'll kind of give a look out of just self-preservation You're also glossier because there's a lot of walking. So there's an energy.

Yeah, I'm sweating. I'm Schifzen. It's humid there. It is so humid out there. Eric in New York is a little scarier. You look like Friday preparation for his weekend binge. But Eric in L.A., it does sound a little bit like, man, do you know the theory of this? And they'll go like, I didn't know that about the doors.

And he's right. The way it would be like, that was great. Eric and New York, the same thing. They're looking around like, how bad is this? going to get. How medicated is this guy to be escaped from somewhere? Was he the place they had Woody Guthrie cooped up in? Like, what's really going on here?

But L.A., they're open to hearing that Jim Morrison's dad was on the Gulf of Tonkin and helped start the Vietnam War. I mean, LA's probably, Southern California, is like ground zero for weird ideas, though. You know, like, you know, like, it makes sense. Define, open to. Scared of. Scared of. Willing to listen at a self-preservation.

Amen. Thank you, friends. What's going out with you, G.R.? Well, they just told me that I'm the maid's last room. So she's, like, waiting for me to leave the room. So I'm going to sneak out of here while we're doing this and go downstairs and finish just outside that. Well, no. So are you checking out, or do you want the maid to clean?

No. What happened is I basically needed a hotel and a fan. of the show was like, I work at a hotel, a Hampton Inn, and she was like, I'll give you a late checkout. Yeah, things are good. And she's like, I'll give you a late checkout. And I was like, okay. And then now it feels like they're, they're definitely like this mate, the last maid, the maid is sticking around at work because of me. But are you sleeping there tonight? No, I'm switching hotels. Okay. I got to say, you've never said you're welcome at this point. Yeah. So I'm, I'm on the move. But I'm still, I will be, don't get distracted by me. I'm here. I got you.

Never. No, this only helps us. That's not true. Those are just words. No, no, he's right. This is good for the radio. I embrace spontaneity on set. This is like Jim Morrison's dad with the Gulf of Tottenkin. Thank you, Admiral Steve Morrison. We just lost him. You know, life's full of those little moments when you're sending money and it can make a big difference.

So why not do that with Zell? Gareth and I send money to each other via Zelle. When we are in the hole to the other guy, the easiest way to do it is Zell. We both use it. You both know that it works. Pay and or request. Request money.

Send me some money via Zelle. Why? Because yo, tell me, a little rat. Time to send me the money you owe me. My brother, the great Danny J. And I do something for each other that, to us, it's sincere and it's sweet. We always send each other money as gifts, and we do it randomly, and we use Zell.

We'll just, every once in a while, he'll get $7.50 from me with a big subject that says, you deserve it. And even though he sends me money back, I know in his heart of hearts for a moment when he saw that $7.50 on a Tuesday morning, it's seven before work, he thought, my brother loves me. And sure, when he sends me less back, do I think my brother? brother loves me less, sure, maybe a little. Whether it's a big moment or a small moment, Zell is here for you, so you can be there for them. When it counts, send money with Zell.

This episode is sponsored by Kachava. I love Kachava so much. I take Kachava on the road with me all the time. I put it in smoothies. Sometimes I just drink it on its own. It really is the greatest protein powder I have ever had. It's got 85 plus. superfoods. So that's 86 or above. Nutrients, plant-based ingredients, 25 grams of plant-based

protein, each serving antioxidants, adoptogens. I think that's where the protein adopts you, takes you in. So Kachava does that. Right now, we're going through the new strawberry flavor phase in our house and it's really working. I'm a protein shake guy, as Steve Berg says, got to get your powder then. It's a real quote, he has said. You've never tasted strawberry like this, go to kachava.com and use code here to help for 15% off your next order. That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A-D-com. Code here to help for 15% off. One last thing I want to say to Eric about just words, and then we're going to move on.

I just have to. Now that you, the new thing I've been saying to him, Steve, is those are just words. Those are just words. Those are words you don't even mean they're just words here saying. And he'll go like, there might be truth to that. I'm like, they're just words. So me, Eric and Derek were in Waters, were in San Francisco doing the San Franciech Fest. Simon Helberg was with us.

Bob Odenkirk was with us. It was a lot of fun. I've had a couple days with Eric and San Francisco. I know what it's like. Yes. Oh, good Lord. The day Bowie died, a little piece of your spirit died as well. Jesus Christ.

You guys ready to get him when Bowie died? Yeah. In San Fran, we've been dayduring for 10 hours. visiting habitaries Eric's like we got to get hats sorry

I don't want to those are just words Steve so Derek's a big Ravens fan so we decided you know what we're going to do

is we're going to go to a little Japanese market get some Japanese snacks and beers and rather than go to a bar we're just going to go to Derek's hotel room and just watch the game

with the screen on lovely we all agree this was great. No, we were going to watch an Eric's room. Yeah, because I got an upgrade on the room. Eric got the big room.

I was asked for a bath. Yeah. Hold on. Works. Hold on. What? Why? First of all, I'm not opposed to...

Yeah, you need as much hotel room help as you can get right now, Big Daddy. Ask for a bath. It's usually a nicer room. Then I get Eps and salt at a bodega, wherever I'm at, and you can just cancel Christmas.

I'm having a good old time. And then now I figured out ways through DoorDash to get them to drop them off at my actual hotel room. So I'd have to go down the lobby like an animal. Requesting a bath at Checkin is 100% something I'm going to start. Oh, it works. Said a room got a bath? You get a bath?

I would say every listener, next time you go to a hotel, let's start a thing, everybody requests a bath. Can I get a room with a bath? And I know that's a big ass. But if you have Epsom salt, I sure would love the box. What can I buy some Epsom salt? If you're in a hotel for one night, they'll deliver them. You're taking a bath?

Yeah. Oh, good Lord. Are you kidding? Especially when I'm working and I've had to chase some kid half my age. Daddy needs Epsons salts. I have massive amounts of them. I was just in New York, had an incredible stay at the Ace Hotel. They had a bath.

I got Epson salts at a bodega. Didn't love the price. Loved how I felt after the bath. Let those toxins leave my body. The king right now is killing it on the lowdown. Yeah. We're trying. We're trying.

Killing it on the lowdown. Well, that brings up a fun story of why I was in New York. And this all relates to Jake is, so I was going to this premiere, never gone to a New York premiere before. And I was fired up and I went over my outfit with my wife, my poor wife, which could be another name for this podcast. So we've got the outfit down and I show up. And then the day in New York, it's raining. And I did happen to pack the Manix jacket. that we've talked about on here before

the long Japanese rainwear overcoat that I got at an estate sale from Manix and Jess had my outfit down she was fired up she left me good she couldn't come she's having my friend Taylor go with me to kind of oversee and make sure I couldn't screw anything up a handler a handler yeah a handler the great Taylor Shilling was my handler to make sure I was okay

then about 20 minutes before I leave for the premiere I'm like staring at that manix jacket and then who pops up on my phone but old jake johnson and i said it's raining here should i just wear the manix jacket for the premiere and he goes oh you have to you have to agreed so i get the manix jacket put it in the premiere jess calls him and they all right just making sure everything's okay yeah babe guess what i'm going to do i had the manix jacket and jake just told me i should wear it this is 10 years of marriage and she has heard plans come together and then an idea from Jake and everything changes.

She's like, but what about the suit and the outfit? No, no, I'm wearing the Manix jacket over the suit. And then she's like, oh, and Jake said this. And she just knows exactly what's going on. What's wrong with the Manix jacket? With the Manix jacket. She took me the estate sale. It's her fault.

Yeah. So I get there. Taylor's kind of surprised by the Manix jacket. She's like, yeah, I think so. No, no, Jake told me. It's for the pod. And she's like, for the pod. I'm like, it's for the pod.

And then I look at Johnny Pemberton, who plays my partner in this thing he's incredible and he just kind of looks like if anyone can pull it off it's you but you want that for a red carpet like jake told me it's for the pod so if anyone googles eric edelstein low down premiere you can see me in the manic jacket send the photo you sent to me to natalie oh she can natalie just google eric edelstein low down premiere i've seen it you look awesome yeah i think it was a great call i think once again your hat was great too oh i found that chopping around and because i I'll tell you what, though, here's the shadow side. The Manix jacket did not breathe.

Oh, boy, did that thing get hot under those lights. And I had to ditch the Manix jacket soon afterward. There's some other red carpet stuff like interviews where I did not have the Manix jacket because the sweat was pouring off. Because that's the greatness of Mike Conner's Japanese rainwear is it didn't breathe. That's what keeps the water out.

They're not porous. Oh, look at that. Oh, look great, though. This is all from a call with Jake Johnson, 20 minutes before I left. And my wife said, hold on, what? You're wearing the manix jacket? But the whole spin of this call was everybody was hating it.

You said Jake Johnson. This looks good. It looks great. I think so. Well, and truthfully, if Taylor had freaked out, she was my, my, everyone else had like a glam squad. Who's Taylor? And I had, Taylor Schilling. She played my sister in this movie family.

It's the best comedy I've done. And she's like my sister in real life. And then she also's like, you know, yeah, I think you have to. Why don't you get Taylor? You're shilling as a guest on Weird Here to Help. Yeah. She would love it. She's born for this.

Bring her onto the madness. Yeah. All right. Yeah. And she can talk about the Manix jacket, but she and Johnny both signed off on it. But it took something to be like, everyone looks so good. A lot of them are in makeup. They looked awesome.

And then I'm sitting there in a Manix jacket that I got for 30 bucks in a state sale. But I think we can all agree that that estate sale paid huge benefits here. It did, Eric. You look great. You look great. The hat. is, you wear that, like, if I wore that hat, I look like a dork. I really would.

I would not, I would get endless shit for my friends. You wear that and like, it looks great. Steve, are you pitching that we should do a photo shoot with you in this exact outfit soon? No, no. I think that's what I heard, actually. Maybe let's get you in this ensemble. No, I'm a little more country, you know, like I could not pull off. I could not pull off like a debonair, you know, beautiful like uptown outfit like that.

Eric, you look great. Speaking of, we got to bring something up. We have, on the Patreon, we went through all the photos together, the four of us. We have narrowed down the Steve Berg calendar. I'm not positive how much has been on main show yet, but we are making a Steve Berg-hunk calendar based off an old bet. If you need to get more info, this is the first time you're hearing, it's all over the show. But what I'm bringing up to people right now is it is time to. vote. We have narrowed down to two picks each for month. So go to we need to pick.com slash

Steve calendar. That is, we need to pick.com slash Steve calendar. It's easy to sign up. The website is easy to use. If you want to use it and do other votes, it's all set up how you could do it. If you just want to go on and vote for this, go on for vote. But let's start getting everybody voting and as soon as we have a clear answer for each month we will shut that month down but we are going to make this calendar and it's going to be done

by this Christmas Oh just in time for the holidays It'll be a 2026 calendar. Oh the Christmas of 2026? What do you mean? And for those that have not heard let me just say this was a little

surprised to me. Steve is smoldering. Smoldering. It's shocking. Just to be clear, it's going to be done for this Christmas for next year. We're not holding,

we're not promoting this calendar for a year and a half of them. That's some weird time loop stuff, man. I can't remember my head around that. I don't think so. It's actually super straightforward. Is it?

Yeah. Garrett, by the way, I want to say something odd in a compliment. And I know you can use it because you have a bit, Garrett's taping a special. On Saturday, folks.

Two shows. It's going to be here. huge, the culmination of a lot of wonderful bits. I'm so excited to see it. But you're having a very good teeth day, I noticed today. That's a first. Show them. That's a good teeth day, right?

Well, I'm English. It's a low bar. But thank you. I remember the era of this show where Garrett didn't have a tooth up there. Was there a few episodes? That's what I remember. I threw Jake the tooth. and I thought he would freak out

and he was like, okay. I was like, I thought you were going to lose your mind. Yeah, because I got a vis-al-line. Just another day for Jake. Yeah, the person can't even go up. Yeah. You think the last boomer shocked by a tooth getting thrown out? That's true.

No. Are you kidding? He ate it. He ate it. I was like, whoa. He held teeth in Saigon. Oh, my God. But no, yeah.

Thank you very much, Steve. That's a very nice. compliment you also are having a good tooth day i will say i don't believe it i just walked through the lobby uh because i'm mobile now i look like a storm chaser and i walk by the woman who gave me the room and i go i'm still recording i felt bad for the maid and she goes yeah they were wondering what was going on and i said i said i thought i could do it for another half hour and she goes i'm really sorry and then she looks and she goes oh my god you're recording this right now i was like yeah she was Like, the chat.

I was like, the chat. The chat. Yeah. Pretty good. We love it. We love it. Speaking of, because I don't want to just turn this into a compliment session where we're all just saying nice things. I'm fine with that.

It's not good. But I find it boring. Let's get real for a second. I got grievances to air. Steve. What are your grievances? I'm kidding. Yeah.

No, Steve, you need to come up with a grievance. Oh. Right. A new section called grievances. Grimpa's Grievance Corner. Grandpa's Grievous Corner. And it can't be charming or make you seem likable. Let's do grievances.

And guys, don't fall for the comments of it's so sweet. It's so nice. We're not teddy bears. We're apex predators. Well, off the top of the head, let's keep on talking. Finish we're going to say, I'll come up with that. Pens out. The pens out.

Yeah, I got the pen's out. No, I want a grievance with somebody on this zoo. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. God, that's... Eric, if you got one, Garrick... With anyone... Anyone on the Zoom?

A grievance on the... With the chat grievance. Look at Gerith. He's shaking his head. He's like, holy cow, this is heavy. I'm overwhelmed. No, I don't think I have zero grievances right now with the crew. I feel like I air them.

I know you live in them, brother. Those grievances are what he takes a bath. every night in a hotel. He doesn't put water in that salt. He just lays in grievances. Give it up, give it up. The chip on my shoulder is a chocolate chip. No water.

I use it for fuel. Oh, really quickly, as we're thinking grievances, Eric and I went to Biff Whiff's Memorial. Oh. And it was special. Eric, your thoughts? Oh, it was as good as it gets. It was, I've been to too many Hollywood memorials, and the first one I was at.

It's not all pretty grieving. Some of it's shopping. This was Biff Wiff's Theater Company in the Valley, the eclectic theater on Lancashire by the old Dairy Queen. And this was about the biggest group of heroes you will see in this life. When we walked in, it was a group of older people. There was a group called the Piperoo's, and the Piperoos were his old sketch group. where they did like gross out songs in a bar called Uncle Bill's in San Diego and the actors all slept at the bar when they didn't have a place to live.

And when Eric and I first walked in, Eric goes, I feel like we're walking into my brain. Wow. And I've never seen a world that I'm like, this is Eric's thoughts. Yeah. A lot of long hair with bald spots. The smell of weed wafting in before the funeral started. Yes, a lot of weed.

a lot. Some of these old-timers, their speeches were roast sections. And I was like, these guys came out. There was a guy named Weasel who made a speech. The Wees. The Wees brought the house down. He was so good. He was crushed.

No, he did a whole Wikipedia bit. It was just so fun. This is awesome. And you felt, it was really one of those moments where you go, if you're going to do a memorial, do it like this. Yeah. You're like, oh, Biff was alive. One last party.

We were dying laughing. It was chaotic. It was crazy. The whee's went up there. Two guys got up there. The old piparoos, the last surviving piperoos, did a couple of songs. They were really going hard for the laughs. And you just thought, like, good stuff.

Yeah. Good stuff, everybody. And I thought it was beautiful. Steve, the keynote of it all was the great Dana Ashbrook. No way. Bobby Briggs. And when he said it was so beautiful, Biff married into his family. And he said, so beautiful, my family is kind of boring and not a lot of fun until Biff

with married in. And he has brought the fun to our family for the last 40 years. And it was a really beautiful thing to see how one guy can kind of change everything. And I imagine most people have seen self-reliance and seen Biff in those great Tim Robinson sketches. But he was just incredible. And, you know, I really thought that the relationship with Jake and Biff was kind of really, the love story and self-reliance. I agree.

And he was so wonderful, such a sweet guy. It was so great getting to know him. And he will be missed greatly, but it really was awesome to be able to share his family and friends with us on that day. And boy, were they cool. And Stevie now, your grievance. Oh, I was so entranced in the story. Let me see. He's too pure, Jake.

Garris, do you have a grievance? Not with anyone on the show, no. Oh, it's with someone on the show. God, I know I have a soul. You have a past grievance to me, Steve. You're free to throw it out there. No, I would. I would.

Eric, do you have a grievance? No, now with anyone on the show. I really don't. I have a grievance. Go ahead. Shock, the last boomer has a grievance. Yeah. This whole thing was probably just leading up to that.

I was hoping somebody was going to get through a grievance. Jake pulled out an old-timey scroll. Yeah. Hold on. I didn't want to be the one doing the grievance. Do you have one? Not with these angels, not with these guys. Everything, it's perfect.

A bunch of chatty, cat, the old gossils. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. I got a grievance with this grievance so far. Here's my grievance. Yeah. We were on a group text chain. Steve Berg was talking about what he was doing on a Saturday. He took a selfie and said, I'm at an Apple Jack Festival.

Yeah, it was great. an apple jack festival yeah you went here rick goes sounds amazing i believe the wording was is this correct yeah steve goes it's really nice it's fun eric goes like wow wish i was there eric would love it eric and i were sitting at biff whiff's memorial and i said so you love the apple jack Yeah, I Google. I Google the food trucks. Omaha tight standouts. He said, I like food trucks. And I go, he didn't say I'm at a food truck festival.

And he goes, my wife and I sometimes go apple picking. And I go, Eric, is going to an Apple Jack festival? Does that sound awesome? And Eric goes, not fully. No. And I said, those are just words. Not fully. Just two words.

And he goes, he was loving it. Who cares? That's my grievance. God damn it. Just words. Damn it. Well,

Hard earned. I will say this. I feel like Jake, it would be the Dante's fifth level of hell for you at the average best full. What would you? You would know.

Gareth would like, somehow you would just like jump out of the car before we even got there. I went on a go. However, I know. I know Eric would love to go to a little quaint town like Nebraska City. I'm putting peppers on the salad.

It's apple. Yes. And they would care. There was juice. I'm big on unfiltered apple juice, by the way. Oh, yeah. No, I got cider in my fridge right now. Listen to these two.

So what was great about it, Stephen? And it would drive the last boomer crazy. Oh, yeah. And then, hold on. Then, Eric, then what would you say to me at our next ludge about the Applejack Festival? it was okay the cider was okay I didn't like all the walking

the tree houses there's tree houses connected by by draw bridges and they weren't really made for a tall man oh I really googled it I googled it I love seeing Steve

I love seeing Steve what I can remember we had a good time I could do it up the festival yeah the Thai food was not great brother Oman does not have as many immigrants LA is where I think you want out

you can go somewhere else. I'm from Washington. That's Apple Central. It was just organic. Apples, buddy. No, this was in Nebraska City, which is an hour outside of Omaha. Home of Arbor Day.

We're very proud of that. Are you reading this? No. Yes, you were, Stephen. I saw your eyes. I was looking at my hands because I was doing this. He's got the notes on his hands. No, he think I'm reading a monologue?

You're always being a book, man. Always be auditioning. Yeah. Jake, yeah, it's true. I am always auditioning. Jake Johnson's going to be on the Zoom. You never know.

Is it your best friend? Because still he makes me, I'm always going to prepare material for him. I like to go in there with something. Yeah, before the thing, it's like, Berg, make up some thing about a foxy Applejack festival.

I'd love to see that. No, but it was really fun. I went there as a kid growing up. Susie had some family in town. So we decided to take him out there. I bought a metric ton of it. I spent almost 300.

dollars on jarred pickles and pickled everything. I bought, what did I buy? Oh, pickled quail eggs. And they're amazing. I didn't know I liked pickled eggs until this month. Eric got an arrow into the heart. Eric just got erotically a move. And I'd ask you not to judge it.

Different strokes, different folks. It's all just skin, big daddy. $300 at the fest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was great. We had a time. We had a time. And a lot of stuff that's already going bad.

I could not finish it all. I was giving it away, too, yeah. Wow. I'm supposed to see some apples. I've been eating three a day. I'm like, they just won't go away. Like, uh, it's a nightmare now. What's so?

I've built my own hell and I'm living in it now. Wow. This turned fast. But you can preserve them, Steve, right? Yeah, we're going to cook them down into some cinnamon apples. You know, that'll be nice. Everything Steve has said today has been so fulksy. just I'm a foxy guy

you really are but today particularly the devil's in the details well it's not I'm here you know it's hard we need a new Will Rogers it's my friend Steve thank you yeah yeah me tomorrow Rogers though I question because he went said I never met a man I didn't like and I'm like man you must have been drunk

well those are just words yeah he was the original those are just words they're just words I do think we do need to address some disappointment I was flying back on last Sunday, and then the day before I saw a last-minute vandy camp that was scheduled. They did not have Dick Van Dyke on the flyer, but I instantly knew shit. They're not putting him on the flyer, but I will bet money he shows up.

Well, they can't put him on the flyer. Right, because of me. Because of me. I know it. Do you think that's really true? I think it's partially true. And I think there were a lot of people wanting refunds last time. Oh, they were.

Okay. Yeah, there was a line as we walked out. I'm like, I'll just send an email. I'm sure I'll get a refund. and here we all sit. But sure enough, soon afterward, my Instagram started getting flooded. I also love people in public now

have yelled Vandy Camp at me. Yes. At the baggage claim, people said Vandy Camp and showed their phones. They were listening to that episode at that second. It's awesome to me.

I'm now connected to Dick. But Dick did show up for Vandy Camp last Sunday. Your thoughts on him saying I'm now connected to Dick? Comedically, a river just ran through my mouth and I had to put a damn up. But I want you to speak freely. Well, my initial joke was going to be like all guys are. New choice.

Well, you don't want to keep new choice to me. It's going to get worse. Okay, so you're, all right, so what's going through you when you find out about this? It's great when the fans are giving you the tags on that stuff too. Oh, yeah, and people are going to address it. Well, because I took a leisure. I love taking a late afternoon flight. out. And I was seeing my new friends show that night on Sunday. So I'm like, I'll fly back

around three, be in time for my friends show that Sunday night. And then when Vandy Camp got announced, part of me even said, God, should I just take a 6 a.m. flight and try to make it. But if I do that, he won't show up. But once I knew that I was not going to be there, I'm like, fuck, Dick's going to show up. And sure enough, God, he danced, he sang. It was Arlene Van Dyke's birthday. Everybody had a birthday cake for her. It was in Malibu. And I was just, incredibly sad, not a bit, that I missed Dick Van Dyke again. And also a little bit, I felt a little guilty. I think they probably didn't put him on the flyer because of me blowing it up on the pod.

And I just know next time they announce a Dick Van Dyke show, I'm going to be ready and I'm going to splurge and I'm going to go for those meet and greet tickets. But if he doesn't show up, what are you going to do? Fucking ask for a refund and take it large with this podcast. We're getting numbers. You don't. You don't. No. Look, if I get food poisoning twice in the same restaurant, which has happened, you're going to hear about it. Okay? I don't want a lawsuit. There's still an operation. How many times have you gone back after getting food pee? Well, I went to their other restaurant. I'm guessing maybe the chef changed because we've had an incident twice of this restaurant. Now, I really don't think I'm going to back unless it's an emergency. Why would it be an emergency? Because I'm hungry and it's late at night. Please, let me, let me, if you don't mind, I'd like to guess and on the stand, this Dick Van Dyke thread.

So, recently, within like the last week, Dick Van Dyke went viral because he was, there was a picture of Rick Springfield is. And like, look, no offense to Rick Springfield. People don't really care a whole lot about Rick Springfield, right? I mean, I'm just being honest. They don't care about me either. No, I turned down free tickets to scenes. But I have a feeling, Eric. The NGIS I've ever seen these guys.

Wow. I know. This is a bad boy. This is their grievances. This is the... I've turned out three tickets to see him is the largest insult Eric can hurl your way. Look, I'm not letting insults anybody, but...

I don't think a lot of people care about... ...created a Dick Van Dyke buzz. You do? I don't think that would have gone viral without Eric's story. I really don't. Like, why would a picture of Rick Springfield and Dick Van Dyke in a gym go viral?

Okay, so let's test it. Okay. We are calling out to Dick Van Dyke and his crew. We would love, love to come honor you. We have nothing but respect, admiration for you and what you've done in the entertainment world. We can interview you for the show. Eric and I will come to you in person.

You can come to the studio at Rabbit Grin. Eric's wanted to do a show called Legends where we interview people. about who they are and we honor them. If anybody in the camp would like, we would love to honor Dick Van Dyke. We will do it any way he is comfortable with. We can make it short, long, or however he wants it. We will come to him with the technology. We will do anything he wants. We could do it over Zoom if that's how he's comfortable. There will be no jokes or bits at his expense. The jokes will be at our expense, if anything, or at the expense of Eric trying to get

free tickets to an event. I will make sure that Dick Van Dyke is not part of any of that madness. But if we have what you're saying, that kind of reach where you think part of that, I do. Then let's have this end with you and me asking that man questions about his glorious career and thanking him for a hundred years on planet Earth making the world better. Jake, that was poetry. Eric's face while you were doing that, Jake, was truly.

he was like, this is it. Well, you want to know what I would be if I was a candy, Gareth? Huh. A sweet and sour patch. Yeah. Very true. Fight through that tough outside. Because I didn't go to Malibu to try to see Dick as a bit.

He's a hero. No, no, Eric. Not only comedically, not only Mary Poppins, but he's one of my. Well, nobody would accuse you of doing, if this were a bit, it would. You're not an irony guy. But it's also a. A lot of times the bit is for you. The bits don't work that well if it's just a one-man bit.

Yeah, you're doing a lot of stuff where you're actually, you're the real deal. By the way, I think I just saw my feature self in the background. I did. Did you see that? That was me at 73. That was you if you never got into the entertainment game. Wow.

That was crazy. I also want to encourage everyone. I'm a huge fan of Colombo. watch Dick Van Dyke play the killer on Colombo. It is a stunning dramatic performance. If the numbers of that download go up at all. He's so cool. Can we do something really fast?

Eric, can I put you on the spot for the fun of it? Yeah. Can I give you 60 seconds to make a plea to Dick Van Dyke to be on the pilot episode of Legends? Yes. Three, two, one. Mr. Van Dyke, we stand here in awe of you and your incredible career. You are a beacon of light for us.

The 99 years you have lived, you've made the world so much better, constantly changing, constantly evolving, comedy, drama. And for me personally, your path to sobriety has been incredibly inspiring. And seeing you in that gym at age 99 is a dream peak vision of how we all should be. I'd like to talk to Chris and Arlene Van Dyke, your incredible wife, and we want to talk to the fantastics. We want to bring everybody into the fold to celebrate and honor you, sir. And I will be bringing television's Jake Johnson out there with me, and we just want to sit

at the feet of a master and listen to you talk and give us some kind of wisdom for a world that is in great need of it. Thank you so much, Mr. Van Dyke, for even considering it. And here's to a hundred more great years. Thank you, Dick. Now, should I do a... Wow. Here's what I feel like Dick Van Dyke when he hears this.

Okay, go ahead. Turn it up. Dick, we have a message for you. Wow, this character director left this thing. He wants to do a podcast with you, which is like a radio program? Is it some kind of pervert? That's my... That's my thing.

It didn't land. It landed here. Thank you. By not land. it really landed. Thank you. I'll do my impression. Okay.

Is that the guy who now we can't charge people for what I don't show off? Good punch up, good punch up. But if we had, Steve, I'm glad you brought that part up, but if we have that reach, please, we would love to do it. But what were you saying? You didn't want to, we interrupted, and by we, I mean me, when you were saying about the photo that while nobody cared about it. Did you have an ending to that?

The ending was that, like, I feel like you guys, this show put the Dick Van Dyke into the universe. And somehow you guys created a zeitgeist of Dick Van Dyke. Because I cannot see a world where Rick Springfield, who

even people in our generation, largely probably have no idea who he is. But he's catching a lot of strays. Well, I mean, he's so sad. I mean, he's so sad if he's a list of. Jesse's girl. He's like, he's a girl. Eric's turned it down free to. He's got a gun in his mouth.

By the way, I wouldn't turn down. Jesse, I mean, that guy's got some fucking bangers. Hold on. Hold on. Jake, you're offered two free tickets to the Rick Springfield concert. You're going? Where? 20 minutes away from you.

Yes. 30. These are just words. These are just words. You just lied to us. 30. You turned down like fourth row John Pryne at the Ford Amphitheater. You ain't going to Rick Spring.

These are just words. Just words. When you point your finger, you got three back at you, Jack. You just lied to everybody. Cut the grass and the snakes and shit. And you live in a glass house, you can't throw rocks. No, you just threw a big one. And then we all tied in because there were some we're here to help listeners that were fired up about the Manix jacket.

We talked about before. And then my friend Shanna found a picture of Dick Van Dyke and Manix. Manix guest starred on the Dick Van Dyke show. Yes, thank you, Shanna-Patic. They're both in very similar trench coats, Japanese rainwear. It's all one song, friend. Japanese rainwear. You know, by the way, hold on.

Those aren't just words. That's the real Eric. It's all one sign. I think the just words, I love the real Eric. They're all just one. That was the first thing you said to me because, Eric, do you remember it was last Christmas or the Christmas before I can't remember. I was in L.A. I was staying with you.

And you put, I think you had that jacket. when you picked me up in Burbank. And I'm like, whoa, that jacket. You're like, it's Japanese rainwear. And there's a story behind it. They told me a story. But you led with that. It's Japanese, like, I'm supposed to know that.

Incredible. Oh, is that Japanese rainwear that doesn't breathe? Japanese rainwear. Oh, so it doesn't get wet. But why doesn't it breathe? Probably it's... It keeps the rain out. That's not an answer.

Oh, my God. The sweat that was pouring out of me at that red carpet. Like, I had to steal a towel from the hotel. Sorry, Ace Hotel. But, man, Nothing did not breathe. And I ditched it and then to carry it around with me the rest of the night, like a ball and chain.

So the downside to the Japanese rainware is that inside it's raining. It's very uncomfortable. No, a large, yeah. The rain doesn't hit you. No, it just, you sweat gets you. You self monsoon. Oh, good Lord.

It was a cauldron. I would rather be rain. I'd rather than rain. It doesn't go in your body. But I also envision the red carpet like in the rain, But it was, and it was inside. And then I was a little self-conscious. I'm sitting there, and there's some actual heroes there coming up and talking to me,

and I'm like, I'm in a Manix jacket. I got in the state sale. But I felt good. I felt his spear with me. And then this is not a bit. Later on in the night, I was trying to shove my hat in this big, deep pocket. And I swear, I found a used tissue for Manix in the pocket. All right.

But you had found tissues before, so there was more tissues you didn't know about it? Yeah, this was a new pocket. He was, I think, really. I found a bedbath and be on her seat near the end for his run on life and then I think he was having a lot of cold and flu stuff near the end 100s run on life like he got canceled like a TV show Well that feels like it's

A lot of cold and flu stuff But yeah We're finding more and more tissues and manic's pockets Hey guys he was dying Jake's You don't go out of that one Don't go out of this world pretty. You got a lot of things.

Jake solved that mystery. Hey, Mannix was dying. No. Before we go. No. Gareth. We love you. Crush tomorrow.

He's going to do amazing. You got a big show tomorrow, baby. How you feel it? Yeah. I feel good. I feel I've put in a tremendous amount of work. I've been working on it all the time. And I don't know.

I've completely lost perspective. Yeah. We'll ask me all of our listeners to go to YouTube, watch the special, comment on it, give the guys some love. It matters. I don't know when it'll be out, but you will hear about it what it is. We'll announce it here. Yes. But let's do this next time we record, this is the before we'll hear after how it went from you.

Deal. Done. I love it. And if you go to the show, consider bringing a big good for him. don't because well because you know look he's dieting he's exercising you know like Sunday I want this guy to go not everybody connects working out with needing to put those calories back on the following day I don't understand why you would work out then that makes no sense you're not wrong okay by the way nobody heckle him with terms from the

show that's yeah yeah not to the move don't yell out while we yeah you bring the parmesan yeah bring the parmesan and then to the you can do it me every time someone yells vandy camp at me I smile those aren't just words but they will be and it will be a grievance and it will be you and me alone and somebody will go vandycap and you'll

go what and I'll go Eric wrong tone you're fucking vandy cap Jack I'm just trying to eat the hot fresh I'm sitting out here's fucking eugeness you're yelling vandy camp I'm like Eric you sat on the show delicious wet burrito I'm so sorry brother

I'm putting the peppers on the outside ma'am f why i am putting the peppers on ma'am first of all i want to apologize for screaming i did say i loved when you yelled vandicap at me in the moment i did think you were teasing me and j man didn't remind me i asked for this this is the cross i have to bear it's all one song sister oh god

as soy sauce drops out of the manix pocket and vegan cheese. Is that vegan cheese? Maddox was having a pretty tough run at the end there. What? Sweet Jesse here, we were all set to release this episode, and then we got an update from Eric about VandyCamp. So we got a little extra for you.

Okay, so most importantly, what we have to get into is we recorded our last episode last Friday. Not Friday, two days ago or whatever, but the week before. While we were recording the episode on Friday, in which we determined that Jake Johnson was going to go to Vandy Camp, if it ever happened again, which he was betting wouldn't because, let's be honest, Dick Van Dyke is 99. we get done recording that episode. I open my email and there is a... Steve, what did you just put in your mouth, babe? Agreed. What did you just put in your mouth?

A pecan. A pecan. A pecan? A pecan. A pecan. A fucking teaccon. Steve. Steve. Steve. Stephen. Stephen. I'm ready to sneak in a pecan.

Stephen, ten minutes. Ten minutes. Ten minutes. You had to start sneaking peeking. Oh, my God. Eric's entertain me. It's like, I'm here. No, I'm all over you. I just wanted to know.

I'm living through you. I haven't eaten yet today. I was, I've spent all day to day to day gearing up for Vandy can't, so I didn't even eat yet. Don't worry about what I'm doing. No, no, no. I'm very worried that you brought emergency nuts to the session. Please, no, I'm honored.

I'm honored. His new nickname is Peacon. If my bid is worth the Peaccon, pecan. Peacon. Peacon. So I get off Friday, doing our podcast. and I see I've got an email, a group email from Chris Isaacson presents. Okay.

To the people that came to the show that Dick Van Dyke didn't show up for, you are invited to get a discount. Housing Pekins. Keep going. He can't. No, no, no. I can multitask. 10 minutes.

I got you. I got you. That was my fault. So I see that there is an invitation. Dick Van Dyke is going to be doing a show in his. backyard in two days on Sunday and that there's a special discount code $200 off. I'm like, wow, what is that? I log in.

I get so excited, but first, we had just wrapped five minutes earlier. I check in with Jake, who had just said he is in for Vandy Camp. And it's in two days, and I know he ain't doing shit on that Sunday. Nothing. Well, I will say this before I asked. I get extremely excited about Dick Van Dyke's house, seeing Dick Van Dyke. The only thing that might temper that excitement is going with Jake Johnson and trying to avoid the eye contact of my best friend while we're in Dick Van Dyke's yard.

Torturing this man. If Dick doesn't come out, have another pecan, Steve. I mean, Steve, you're five minutes away from being able to officially eat him. My God, dude. My God, I'm so glad your protein loading. Are you lick at your fingers? It's like cake. We broke it, we bought it, boys.

We broke it, we bought it. We love him. This is all great. The pecan is making the story better. So I do then hear it and I pitch it to Jake, but I'm also a little worried he might say yes. But I know if he comes, it's going to be okay. And then I'm like, you're off the hook if you don't want to. So you quickly take that off the hook.

But then I also say, I look to buy the tickets and I see there's two tiers. I put in the code. And the ticket I'm eligible for is not up front. And it is a $572 ticket. With the code off, it's $372. The most expensive tickets are like $6 or $700, and that's to be even closer to Dick. So I do say this.

And I'm not proud of it. And I don't like the world knowing that I can be bought off. I say, you know, if the pod pays for my ticket, I won't mention that Jake didn't go. not a great move and jake and gareth immediately jump on me we're not paying no way and they also probably know i'm going to go anyway but i do want people to know because this podcast is about revealing the good parts of ourselves and bad parts if you're wondering the price of my dignity and my integrity it is three hundred seventy two dollars america because i'd be telling a different

story right now i'd be like i wouldn't mention that jake just said he was going to go as jake johnson was saying you'd go to VandyCamp, an email came in my inbox saying VandyCamp is in two days. So I snap on, I buy the ticket, and it's like Willie Wonk, it says details are going to come very soon as to what VandyCamp is. And I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm going to VandyCamp by myself. Nobody and my wife wants to join, and there's nobody I want to pay $3752 for to get them to join. I think you said nobody in my wife. Nobody in my life My wife has been dragged

So much stuff That poor woman This podcast can be called that poor woman So she would go Because she's so nice And I don't always reciprocate She came today A bunch of improv people

Are doing a corn maze Next week And I don't want to go And she's like I'd really like it if you go And I'm like I really don't want To say in the corn maze Not a chance

I know I'm not good with maize I'm like It's a corn maze and a half hayride with an improv and I'm like, God, please, please. I'm so sorry, Dick Van Dyck's grandkids are shooting him with paintballs.

That'd be amazing. Even you'd go to that, Jake. I'd go to that one. Hold on. I get to see that old God, you get shot with paintballs. Now I'm in. Now, can I shoot him? The fucker was in World War II.

He knows that to take fire. So the next day, I get an email from Chris Isaacson Productions saying you are going to go to this yoga studio in Malibu. And then you're going to be shuttled to Dick Van Dyke's house. I start getting very excited, very nervous, a little bit of difficulty sleeping, because I'm like, are you kidding? Seriously?

Agreed. Yes, he's serious. Half for the pod, though, because I'm like, I didn't think we were going to hear it in ending. Stop saying for the pod. It's a lie. It is for the pod. Deal with it. You also, you wore the, you wore the Mannix jacket because you wanted to.

You said, because Jake Johnson's for the pot a hundred times. I was not going to put it on unless you told me. I brought it because it rained. And I saw rain in the forecast. I wore it today, dummy. Japanese rain gear. Yeah, it's Japanese rainwear, okay? Did you wear it today for the pot?

He should have. Cornered, you're right. Can't get out of that corn maze. So the next day. I will say Jake didn't come for 380. Pass. No, that's it. Okay, I'm still going for the pot.

For the pot. Guess what? We're not going to talk about. I mean, I'm still going. I pay the money. I just found out this week. All my concert tickets are not tax deductible because of a law change in 2017.

That's frustrating. So I, yeah, we had a whole thing there, guys. Oh, Gareth, closer than anything, Big Daddy. Keep going. So the next day I drive out to Malibu, I'm running late. I'm like, I will get destroyed by these guys if I miss the Vandy Camp shuttle. So I get out there.

I can't find, there, there's no part. because there's a Sunday Farmer's Market in Malibu. There's a nature preserve, and I'm like, oh, my God. So I park kind of illegally way off, hurry in. I can't find the yoga studio. Then I see a lady with a Dick Van Dyke pin. And I run up here, I'm like, is this a shuttle? And she's like, are you with Chris?

I'm like, kind of sort of. Is this a shuttle? And she's like, they're all upstairs at the yoga studio checking in. And I'm late. So I start to go to the yoga studio, and then I see a flock. of people, and I'm saying the tip of the spear, highest-level Disney adults you've ever seen in your life, all dressed like they're rejected extras from Mary Poppins

coming down this staircase. Terrifying. And so I kind of jump back in line for the show. What were you expecting, Eric? A bunch of guys in tuxedos and gowns? I like Dick Van Dyke from the Dick Van Dyke show, from his appearance on Colombo, who he is as a person, his book.

I'm not as into Mary Poppins or chitty, chitty, bang, bang. I want to be very careful with my words here. I think the top, tip of the spear of any fan group is a lot. I thought I would jump in with the Rusties who are the Neil Young super fans. I found them to be elitist,

kind of mean, not really that cool. And my two friends from Leeds, they weren't being that cool to them, and these are the two coolest Neil Young fans in the world. Bob Dylan fans, I go to like two shows a tour. The ones go to every show, are terrifying. You're praying that they don't have a copy of Catcher in the Rye in their pocket. I enjoy Disney. I love Pirates of the Caribbean. I have a reservation of the Blue

Bayou next month. I have friends that are Disney adults. They're awesome. This was the tip of the spear of Disney adults that could pay up to $6 or $700 to go to Dick Van Dyke's place. And they were pretty scary. and they would go on to be the biggest problem of this day that we will get into later. But because I see them coming down, I jump in line for the shuttle, thinking there's going to be, you know, at least four or five shuttle vans taking us to Dick Van Dyke's place. The shuttle shows up. I see a guy get out. He's kind of harried.

And I quickly realize this is Chris. This is the guy that I've gone back and forth with, repeated on the pod. He is driving the shuttle himself. and I'm trying to figure out who the other shuttle drivers are with this amount of people. Can you give us a change of a cost? Don't put your hands together

with the prayer, please, Eric. Can you? I didn't know what I was doing that. It doesn't warrant this. This moment does not warrant that. To me it does. Life is a prayer, Jay. Offer it up.

Please, yes. I have a picture of what Chris looks like in my head. I want to see if this matches what he looks like in real life, though. Jimmy. No, I mean, like, no, let me, okay. I was going to have you describe him.

Oh, okay, okay, I will. He was different. We looked at the picture of him online. He has, like, long kind of a grown-out Prince Valiant cut. Yep. He's wearing regular glasses, and I instantly liked the guy. I felt kind of bad for all the shit. You're trying to get free tickets.

Well, if he wants to throw me tickets for Sybil Shepard, he should. That's exactly why you just said that. No, no, no, I felt a little bad from my tone with him. I was harsh. You're not getting civil. You're not getting civil. I didn't get refunded for Dick Van Dyke when he didn't show. He's not going to give me free Civil Shepard tickets,

especially because he's not going to love everything I have to say about this, and I'm going to get into the weeds on it, and God bless. So I'm going to, spoiler, I'm not going to get free tickets from Chris. But I instantly really liked him. I was instantly absolutely shocked. There weren't more shuttles. And that he was driving the only shuttle was hysterical. And then I did the math.

I'm like, there's like 50 people here. Dick Van Dyke's house better be really damn closer. or this is going to be an issue. So the first shuttle goes, and they're like, Dick's like 10 minutes away. And it was very hot. And there's these Disney adults. A lot of them were wearing fucking boater hats

and dressed in Mary Poppins' striped suits and not doing well in the heat. And some of them are not in incredible shape and or they're old and or both. So we wait in the heat. A lot of them have fucking parasols. So we wait in the heat, maybe 10 minutes, 15 minutes.

Chris shows back up I jump in the second shuttle and I get there and I'm like I don't quite believe this is going to happen we drive up to this guard at a gate and it is a gated community in Malibu Chris kind of has to

talk his way back in again which was odd and then we go in there what does that mean like it's me again I'm with the show and the guy's like you're not on the list he's like I'm with the show we got to get through through these people are going to Mr. Van Dykes out

but it's a gated community in Malibu and like probably not the place that's too amenable to a shuttle full of tourists coming in. And this should have been a caravan of four or five shuttles to bring us in. The problem is that they have to treat

this hundred-year-old man like a wild animal that they don't know when he's going to be stable enough to have people over to his house. So it's all thrown together. It has to be. I mean we're talking about a show with literally less than 48 hours notice. it's what kind of lunatic and go and pay a fortune to see Dick Van Dyke

who don't notice myself included I paint myself with a wide brush okay you're tip of the spear babe tip of the spear bag and so it's me packed in a shuttle with Disney adults singing chitty chitty bang bang

and I'm like well I mean I watch Dick Van Dyke show with my friend and row money roll sing yeah did I sing yes I looked at them I grew up I can look at what people mouth the words and mix in. Pardon?

You are a Disney adult. You were singing chitty-chitty in the bang while judging them for singing chitty-chitty-bang in the bus? Yeah. You're not wrong. Imagine a car driving by seeing how loud were you singing, be honest. Yeah, and I was in a seersucker suit. You look great in that. The suit worked. Thank you, Steve. Thank you. There are official vandy camp photos of me in it now, not to give a spoiler. So we pull up. Natalie right now is opening Johnny Walker, by the way. Oh, who can blame her. Who can blame her? Who can blame? I'll just sum up here. We pull up, and I'm like, are we actually going to be in here?

The gate opens. And then suddenly, I am in Dick Van Dyke's backyard. There is a very special drink being made, the Fitzwillie Fizz, based on another Disney movie he did apparently called Fitzwillie. That is honey, lime juice, and seven up. And then I hear something amazing. Somebody comes rushing up and says, I need a regular Coke. And then they pause, lower the voice, and say, it's for DVD.

And I'm like, holy shit, Dick Van Dyke is here, and he drinks regular Coke. That's probably what his secrets to his success. He ain't doing Diet Coke. They start passing around some really nice finger sandwiches. I'm eating there. I'm grabbing multiple sandwiches. I hadn't eaten that day. I got a fistful of egg salad sandwiches.

I got a Fitzwillie Fizz. And then it's just waiting for all the other people to get shuttled in because there was a massive line behind me. And I'm going to leave it at that front. Oh. I think we could keep... I mean, are you sure? Natalie has it all set up. Natalie has it all set up.

I think, I think this is originally what I was going to do for Patreon. How much, how much stories left? Yeah, I mean. A good amount, Natalie, a good amount. At least probably 20. 20 minutes? I like the cliffhanger. There's also footage to be supporting.

Okay. I want all the DJ. I want Eric to have the short. Hold on. Hold on. Stop. I know exactly what Steve's going to say more, more, more, more, more. Yeah, more, more.

And I know what Natalie's saying. So now. we are going to go to the audience and the comment section. Do you want the full version of this as its own Friday? Or should we just figure out a way to put it at the next chat? When the next chat will be in a little bit of time, who knows when that'll be. So if you're looking to get the end of this, the gang will get back together, it'll be, it'll be called, we're here to chat.

vandy camp finale but we need in the comments yes for a vandy cap finale on its own Friday rushed or a I can wait if it's an I can wait we're going to see what happens we're going to get to it and there's going to

it might not be a full 20 minutes Eric but the audience the whole thing will go on Patreon no matter what we're going to have the audience decide there's a lot of meat on this bone there's also an entire episode we could do Hell, yes.

That's where I lean. But I also think we should also have people comment on whether or not it's unprofessional for Steve to be housing pecans. What you said a pecan. Eric was regaling us with a beautiful story. I feel like a snack is ordered. We started eating them before he regained. I support him eating. I did not.

That's a lie. We had them next to you. Why did you have them next to you? Because I always have them next to me. That's a wild answer. That's a problem. I want to say, I've heard from so many we're here to help fans. because something happened there

that was in the clickbait zeitgeist this week. Dick made one joke, which I loved, horrify the Disney adults. Okay, stop, stop, stop. Okay, I won't say anything else. I won't say anything else, but like, I want those fans to know, I heard you, I saw you linking me, but I, it has been so hard for me not to tell these guys.

Stop, stop, because we know nothing. Okay, can we put this in on the Wednesday episode, and then if need be, guys, Maybe we record Thursday night, us, and we try to release it this Friday. Yeah, I'm going to open up a nice bottle of wine for this. Maybe we'll all get on. We'll do a cocktail, and we'll do it at night. Great.

Yeah. Does that sound fun? Yes. I'll do a cocktail. Okay, so can you try to include this whole section, including all this? And also, I also think it's very important that, that of all the crazy things we've heard today, the fact that Steve said he always has pecanes by him. Well, I mean, look, look, in truth, it's. a mixed nut, I just happened to be needing a heat time at the time.

Thank you very much. Guys, thank you. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash Here to Help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis,

Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to Garethreth Reynolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only,

and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod.