We're Here to Help - 223: The Voice & A Forrest Gump Shrimp Boat

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

Gareth and Jake help an Icelandic caller pick an accent. Then, they help an eccentric millionaire get his houseboat out of limbo. Plus, additional postgame commentary from the Pickle and Chip Classic.Vote for Margret's accent: https://www.weneedtopick.com/thevoiceWant to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Visit gemini.google/students to learn more and sign up. Terms apply.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. No, no, it's funny, though. It's like, we're chatting and then it's like, all right, here we go. And we're doing the podcast. Well, Garrett, we do so many of these. I know. Well, we just got a long one today.

Outside of my family, I think I see your face the most these days. It did dawn on me today. I was like, when I was watching, I was watching the episode, this episode that we're doing the intro for. We'd recorded today and we're recording an intro at night. And I was like, yeah, we really, we're in it some days. Well, let me get a little sweet in this evening. it's been nice spending all this time with you in the last couple of years

I couldn't agree more I love it I mean we've always been friends but you and I are friends it's a different level it's we were always friends where we would go to a bar and be like man I sure like that guy yeah and then we would do mean sports texts yes where we'd go we'd get too far but we'd both go shoot you you would murder I mean what was the one you still are murdering me and I'm not bringing up The point is to go far is like, God, that murdered me. But this is true. So fun, man.

I know, man. And now bringing Bergey and Eric in, but it is true. It's like we've found a, again, it's weird because it's like as you get older, you find ways to see your friends through work sometimes, especially in this shit. But that's what this is, and it is the best. It really is enjoyable. It's fun. And speaking of, I want to.

to bring something up that you know you've been on one side and I was on the other but what I've really found is especially with Eric and Steve being part of the community and now doing their own show on Friday and I will say pulling good numbers yeah like they just have like now a real show our audience stuck with us our audience sticks with us during our core group first of all a good thank you to them yeah but we experiment on one day and Wednesdays we try new things and they stick with us. And I decided at the end of season one that I was like, I think we should be done with YouTube.

And you were like, I don't think so. Two keys got to get turned. Yeah, you're like, why not put it out there? And my reason for not putting out there is I was like, the numbers are low. I don't know how many people are watching there. And I'm like, you know, we do good audio. And I was like, the idea of having a video out there that's like, you and me yucking it up.

And you're like 900 views out in Winnipeg. It feels like we're the real life Gil Buchanan and his brother, Jerry Buchanan. Well, the thing about YouTube is that it, you know, he entertain, competing in the against everybody. Yes. Is different. Yeah, but it's also. And it can feel different. But also the difference is the YouTube podcast, the in-person, it's a whole different animal that I don't want to do.

Yes. I love our Zoom podcast. I love that it is like a radio show. Yes. But I threw out on Patreon and just said, because the Patreon community is also, and this seems like I'm just shucking and jiving for more people to join. but the truth is it's not it's becoming its own galaxy i was also against patron at the beginning yes i was like we're not trying to go like give us more of your coins yeah and you're like actually it's a pretty cool thing and i was like we're not doing it well like now i mean it it is it's the clubhouse

it's where you're just like yeah i look all the time i comment i also can just post certain things I've put, like, old stuff of you and me up there, old, you know, old pilots. And you're just like, just throw anything there. And the people give direct feedback. And so I said to that community, if we started releasing YouTube videos again, would you guys leave the Patreon? And I know you don't know this because you don't look at our Patreon. I mean, I'm posting in there. You're posting on there.

But their response was overwhelmingly. We're not here just for the videos. Yeah. So I guess when I'm asking the base of listeners, if you guys care or not, and if it is something that, if it's true, that I'm wrong and this is not a radio show and I'm a boomer, then I'll make a little apology. We put at the beginning of every video where I go, hey, this is Jake Johnson. I am a boomer and I was wrong about this. We're back on YouTube. But if it's more like, who cares?

It's a radio show. I listen to it in my ear and I like it this way. but if you want it then go to our YouTube and subscribe and we will see if people are there Karen and then if we do it watch those videos and comment let's see if we can get thrown into the fucking algorithm which we won't there's some people who only watch podcasts

which I'm crazy yeah which I don't I don't really understand but I don't yeah I mean like you said I mean we're different but this is not remember when I had that talk with Neil Brennan and he said, this is TV. I gave it a lot of thought, and I'm like, I don't think so. Yeah. I'm like, this is not meant for TV.

This is in your ear while you're driving or like if you're doing chores or you're just doing your day. TV, there should be production. It shouldn't be you and me staring at a screen with black mics in our face and headphones in. I think about that all the time with like, with anything that, anything you put out where you're like, I'm putting a lot of care into this. And I really have some thought. Like, I just recorded my special. And it's like, I don't know where it'll end up, how it'll do.

I do know there are people who literally lay in bed and like watch people cook and are going to do way better than me without question. And they're just literally like, it's a gross cake. And that is going to be far better. And I also know as someone who watches and consumes it. There are times where I'm like scrolling through my phone and I'm like, this is just this guy is awesome. Hey, as you know, Gareth, I sent to the group chat, you, me, Eric, and Steve, they were sending stuff about something I can't remember. And you and I were obviously doing what we do and talking about how terrible it was.

And I said, these are insulting videos. And then I said the video of these women farting in cups. Well, what that did to my algorithm? Oh, you've got to be careful, too. Yeah. Oh, boy. What does it even mean? What are you getting now?

All I get are surprise farts and videos. and yes, it's funny but I'm telling you that I'm like I'll just be sitting there scrolling I'll be on a plane I'll be like I don't even know why I'm on Instagram then I'll see somebody and they'll be like I gotta tell you I'm an Italian

I love cooking I love I'm like what Daniel Day Lewis is sitting down next to you you're like I gotta get out of here he's studying the great works and you see why the work is different I try to get farts off my algorithm

them. I'm a huge fan. Yeah, I like watching you play. I like watching you play. Oh, shit. He's reading Shakespeare. I'm cry laughing at somebody farting in a bed. By the way, sir, I like watching you play. I love to watch you play.

You're not on Bluetooth. Oh, I'm not. Oh, that's interesting. Oh, my God. Everybody's hearing this. Oh, I thought it was on Bluetooth. That's interesting. That's very interesting.

No, I think it'll be good. I think it'll be good. I really do. I think, you know, I, and people like it. People, some people like to do both. Some people like to listen to it and then watch it as well. So, yeah, so we'll leave it a little bit up to the crowd a little bit. If we'll do it, we'll kind of figure it out. It'll probably be season three, I think is for us. We'll probably start early January-ish. Yeah. We've got the helpies. Yeah, we'll end this year strong. And then if we start again, we'll start in early January

and we'll just kind of post everything at once, probably in the past. Who knows? Yeah. But also, if people don't care, that's a fine response, too. Because as somebody who likes studying the numbers and I like paying attention to the audience, it's the same group. So I'm like, if you guys are kind of like, I'm not going to, I don't care. I think there's people who probably will re-engage if we go on YouTube as well. I think there's, you know, I really do. A different group.

Yeah, I do. I think there's just a group of people who just consume shit like that. but yeah um but anyway we this episode is uh last we we had to re-record this intro because there's so much going on in the other one that was just alluding to this one but this is a really we really enjoyed the hell out of this one we've got a woman margaret comes on who's a true star yeah she stargaret she's such a winner and she's but i gotta say man we've had so many winners recently. And so, in this Friday evening at 7 o'clock, Gareth, it's been a joy. You're on East Coast time? Yeah. Indianapolis will throw you.

I for sure thought Indianapolis was central. There are some cities and states out there where you're like, what are you doing? Yeah, Indianapolis, East Coast. By the way, nice looking hotel room, Big Daddy. This is a good one. Yeah. I've been doing holiday ends. So you'll love this. Then we'll let it go. There was a guy who came to my show, and he basically hooked me. I won't get into too much,

but he hooked me up with a loophole where I get hotels quite cheap now by being considered like I get an employee rate. So I mainly stay at this one type of hotel. I'm sure I've already said what it is. It's middle of the road, for sure. And then this one, I had two days off, so I did a nice one.

I like it. The only thing I don't like about nice hotels is you can't there's just they want to they bring you everything like you there's not like an ironing board you got a call for it there's yeah I know what you're saying there's just stuff where I'm like there's no I can't do my own laundry that you've they'd have to come pick it up so I'm waiting like there's just laundry you know places to have lawn oh because you're on the road so much oh yeah you're doing laundry in hotels oh buddy really not only am I doing it hotel it's like my favorite day I'm like oh yes my eyes my eyes

items. Oh, yeah. It's dark and sad and depressing. So you, out of 12 months, how many months you're on the road here, Road Dog? It's a lot. I mean, yeah, it's a lot. It's got to be close to half. Wow. Yeah, it, I don't want to do it. No, I guess. This is my, this New York job has been kicking my app. I'm like, I didn't get it because I had to be traveling. But you're doing the flight back and forth, too. And that is East, West Coast, West Coast flying is also quite taxed. It's mental. Yes. You,

that is, you, I don't think people understand, like you, I come back after a flight or a long drive. And I mean, I would eat dog food.

Same. I am so, I'm ravenous. You know what I also feel? You know what I also feel? I'll just eat trash. I feel like I'm slightly in a lucid dream attempt.

Okay, I've got to go. I'm taking my daughters out and I just got the this. It's so funny that you're getting, you're getting pulled from your podcast by daughters. I all of a sudden felt the presence of something staring at me

and in the darkness I saw finger to watch let's go buddy boy You're done, quit chatting You're done having fun with your friend in your weird closet You're getting pulled All right well everyone would enjoy and let us know about YouTube But without further A do

A do And we are brought to you by angry ors And we are brought to you by Angry Orchard. Angry Orchard Hard Cider. Welcome to Freaky Season, officially. Angry Orchard has partnered with the Jason Universe this fall to bring some new sweet treats. You're getting a new limited edition, glow-in-the-dark thriller pack that includes four unique flavors, including Blood Orange, inspired by V. Jason.

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So I didn't know anything about money as a child. As I got older, I started to learn, you know, had the lemonade stands, all that stuff. But if you want to teach your kids a better way to be with money than a kid who thinks the two ones next to each other is $11, you can teach them that hard work. pays off with Acorns Early. It's going to make it easy. Your kids don't have to learn the money lessons the hard way like I did that day at Winkies in Wisconsin. Acorns Early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids money skills as they grow up. Start with the in-app chores tracker and teach your kids the value of a dollar, then let your kids set their own savings goals and

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difference. So why not do that with Zell? Gareth and I send money to each other via Zell. When we are in the hole to the other guy, the easiest way to do it is Zell. We both use it. You both know that it works. Pay and or request. Request money. Send me some money via Zelle. Why? Because yo to me a little rat, time to send me the money you owe me. My brother, the great Danny J. And I do something for each other that to us it's sincere and it's sweet. We always send each other money as gifts, and we do it randomly, and we use Zell.

We'll just, every once in a while, he'll get $7.50 from me with a big subject that says, you deserve it. And even though he sends me money back, I know in his heart of hearts for a moment when he saw that $7.50 on a Tuesday morning at seven before work, he thought, my brother loves me. And sure, when he sends me less back, do I think my brother loves me less?

Sure, maybe a little. Whether it's a big moment or a small moment, Zell is here for you, so you can be there for them. When it counts, send money with Zell. Hello. Hello? Hey, can you hear me? Yeah, how are you? I'm good.

How are you? Good. What's your name? please? Marguerite. Margritz. Where are you calling from, please? Margaret also works. I'm calling from Denmark. Denmark. Cool.

Might be our first Dane. I'm not Danish. Okay. What's your rough age here, Magritte? I'm 27. 27. Now, are you, where are you from? I'm from Iceland. Oh, what a great place.

have you ever been to Greenland no I can try to get in contact with the one listener though please if anybody can find that son of the bitch I just want to say thank you we just want to make sure they're okay at this point

by the way Margaret I spent a little bit of time in your beautiful country the best with the great Jason Schwartzman we were dressed as astronauts and hanging out for three or four days and boy what an island you guys got

That is a gorgeous place to be. It is. Agreed. Did you stay in the Capitol or travel around? We did stay in the Capitol and we drove around. You kind of have to be in the Capitol. It was just the architecture I loved. Everything I loved.

I'll tell you what, I didn't love the food. A lot of puffin. Yeah. A lot of food that I got to say, I looked at it. Garrett, you're giving us a bad rep. A lot of puffin. You said this about the puffin thing before, and I don't know anyone that he puffing. I don't know anybody who leaves puffin either. It is a tourist thing. They are certainly

paunting puffing puffing off on the tourists then. They must have a good, they must have a guy who knows one of fucking roobes walking by to put out that puffin deal sign. You think there's a lot of puffing dealing? Buddy, I'm telling you, 80% of the places we went to, there was puffin. Gross. Puffin stews. Puffing this. You were not in the right basis, man. No. Actually, no more I think about it. I think I don't know where you were going. That is in Detroit. And by pumpkin, it was pumpkin. No, I'm getting it.

Now I get it. Pumpkin soup. That's it. Margaret, what can we do for you? Okay, I have a fairly embarrassing problem. Great. So. Called the right place.

Yep. I hope so. So, as you guys know, I'm from Iceland. I live in Denmark. I lived in the UK for a while. And I go to a very international school. I can tell. Stop.

And I could. You didn't know where she was from. I did know where she was from. Stop it. Go ahead. Keep going. So I've never really had an Icelandic accent because I learned English very young. And it feels very performative if I speak with my acquired English accent.

Give us your English accent. And, oh, I would have to. So the thing is I kind of veer towards whichever person I'm speaking with. Okay. But give us an example. So when you speak with an Icelandic accent, it sounds performative. Is that what you were saying? It just sounds funny.

So give us a taste of it. Let's just say, I love listening to the podcast. We're here to help. Oh, I do. I definitely love listening to the podcast. It's so good, and it's really funny. Was that the accent? Yes, it is.

That was good. That was pretty good. Okay. I feel like I'm back in seventh grade. It would make no sense. You're from Chicago. And the other option would be your Danish accent and your English. Oh, the English accent, probably, yes.

Let's have a listen. I mean, it definitely feels awkward if I try. You'll get there. It takes a couple swings sometimes. Yeah, and I lived in the north as well, so it's quite different. There you go. That was different? Yeah, it was.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it slips, and it's quite, like, to be fair, it's not very prevalent. It's definitely not the most accent you've heard of a person coming from the north of England. Let's do a quick two minutes and talk about school together, you and me. Where am I from now? I don't know. I don't know. The ocean.

The school. I'm like one of the coolest guys in the school. My name is Raj. All right, Margaret, I'm going to jump in two minutes of this. We want listeners. We're not trying to get rid of them. Okay, so I'm going to go smoke a cigarette and watch the local game play. Hey, go to them, doctor, about your throat and your mouth because there's some major issues.

happening there and you don't understand the culture i do as a matter of fact what you just did was what no i did what oh you're just crazy i mean if people could only see the contortions going on in the upper half of you it was a nearly perfect accent disturbing and way off from somebody who's born in cape town raised in amsterdam went to highland went to scotland and he goes international school and his family's and his epileptic and someone put a strobe light on Yeah, everybody. Everybody needs to relax a little bit. We've got international school.

I'm the DJ of a prom. I'm going to jump in and save a friend of mine who's drowning right now. So, Margaret, what exactly is the problem or give us any more details? Lead us alone. So it isn't necessarily a problem if I'm speaking to someone that's a native English speaker. So if I'm veered towards someone coming from the U.S. or from the U.K., that's fine. But as soon as I hear someone talking with a German accent or an Indian accent or anything, it's going to be a problem that I slide in, right? So you just copy accents.

Yeah, you're a comedian. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's not good. So you're an accent chameleon. My brother does this and that's not a joke. I kind of do too.

Like if I talk to my mother, I start going like, yeah, no, it's different. Not a word, Jake. So what exactly are you looking for help with right now? So I think if you guys could just help me choose one to stick with, at least if I'm talking to someone that isn't a native English speaker. Well, what about this one? So just a baseline. What's this one?

No. This is the international one. Margaret, I want you to repeat after me. Gareth, please don't interrupt for a moment. Well, no, I'm going to interrupt because I know exactly where this is headed. Just make it a clean, whatever you do, you don't. need to involve my mother, which I know these eyes. I'm not going to invite your mom. Not invite involve. Oh. What do you mean? Oh. I thought we were talking to invite. No. Margaret, repeat

after me. My name is Margaret, yeah? Copy the accent. And just like me, I want you to, we're going to get the same accent. Should you be leading the accent portion of this, Jake? Just Margaret, please. My name is Margaret, yeah? My name is Margaret, yeah. I'm the host of this prom dance, yeah. Oh, my God. I'm the host of what? The prom dance, yeah?

Oh, yeah, I'm the host of this prom dance, yeah? I'm really cool. I love smoking cigarettes. Oh, I'm really cool. I love smoking cigarettes. If there's a crime around. Margaret, you're doing good. Hold on, you're right there.

It's Jake's the problem. You're doing great. If there's a crime in town, I'll be the one to solve it. What? Oh, if there's a crime in town, I'll be the one to solve it. I've got legs from my ankles to my ears, see? What do I have from my ankles to my ears? I got legs from my ankles to my ears, see?

Just hurry. I got legs from my ankles to my ears, yes? Okay, let me, Margaret, lean into this accent with everybody you talk to. What are you trying to do? You know this voice now. She didn't call to say, I need to lose 10 friends in four days. Lean into this, Gareth, pretend you just met her. Margaret B. Margaret.

You guys are on a date you met on Bumble. Oh, hey, how's it going? Hi, I'm Margaret. Hi, I'm Gareth from Bumble. Hi, how far do your legs go? What's the question? My legs go from my ankles to my ears, yeah. No, they don't.

I don't think this baby's going very well. It is not. Fire. Keep it going a little bit longer. Do you like crime? Do I like crime? No, not particularly. I'm pretty much opposed to it unless it's, you know, we're trying to redistribute the. And our messages, you seem kind of, where are you from exactly?

Planet Earth, yeah. That's for me to know and you either find out. Oh, Margaret, you're on fire. With what, in what way? This is perfect. If I was going to tell you, my head would explode from the exiled. She's going to sprain her job. I'll get on a knee and give you a wedding ring.

What are you talking about? First of all, you're married. Just because you went to international school, you don't get to have maritime law wives. It's different things. So, Margaret, what do you think about just creating a new accent? Is that a bad pitch? Yes. I mean, it's not the worst one.

Margaret, be honest now. Sorry. otherwise you're going to keep going and you're going to be doing this and your tongue's going to hurt. Garrett, will you admit, she was so much better than you expected her to be there? She's great. Would you admit even starting the date and going, how long are your legs? Yeah, she's great. She's got her lives down.

The voice is a 10 out of 10, no doubt. But I think we're trying to think of a long-term solution here, which is not fake a third choice. I mean, you're really looking, you're trying to pick which one is your main. gear. Yes. I mean... Well, we know you're good at accents. Yeah, I kind of don't mind your

chameleon ways, but if you're looking for a leader, let's hear... I'm going to say no to Icelandic, but I mean, we're biased, we're Americans. But I think the soft English one sounds very neutral. It feels very clear. And then if you're going to be speaking in other

languages you can just lean into those but margaret are we is this are we trying to is are we trying to lock in on which one is best is that what we're doing because if you can do them all i'm trying to figure out how we could help if you can do them all you want to just pick one today i got a pitch yeah i kind of just want to pick one because if i'm in a conversation like at school for instance there is a person there that lived in england for a long period She has a very pronounced English accent. So let's do this. Speaking to someone else.

First, let's hear Gareth pitch. I think we're going to need to hear the accents. Me too. That's where I was going. Why not have the audience vote? You want to have them vote or you want us to pick right now? I think we have them vote. Let the people, let the masses decide.

I mean, that is an international. That's crazy. So let's do this. Let's narrow it down to the top three. Yeah. So now, Margaret, what we can't have you do right now is get a little nervous and go, I don't know. I don't know what should I say. You do know what to say. She's did the spotlight is not too big for Margaret. No, Margaret's a killer. So now we're not worried

about what the lines are. Legs from her ankles to her ears. Yeah. So feel free to just, you do. That's cool. I got short ones. My mom used to call him potato picking legs. Focus. And she said, I have the kind of body I could always pick up a potato from any position I was at. And I went like, that hurts my feelings. And she goes, they're just stubby little potato pickers. My legs are just, there's nothing to look at. The idea. Me in shorts, you go like this. How old are you when she says that?

My life. The idea that... She goes like this. It makes a lot of sense. She goes like this. Ah, you got the Polish legs. And I go, what are Polish legs? And she goes, eh, potato pickers.

And I go, what? She goes, you were meant to be in a field picking potatoes. You barely have to bend your knees to get them. And I went, huh? These are what they refer to as potato pickers, huh? I've never heard a woman go like, God, I can't wait to marry a man with potato picking legs. No, no.

It's not a thing. Your wife's not in it for the legs. Not one person's been turned on by the term potato picking legs. Well, I mean, not to come down on you even harder, but I would say your wife's favorite interaction you and I had was where I shot you down pretty hard about looking like a make-a-wish kid who was going to go hang out with real basketball players. Gareth came over.

I was wearing shorts and a basketball top and he said, without even, without just, he walked and said, hey, everybody, he goes, Jesus Christ, you look like a make-a-wish kid playing basketball. A grown-up was your wish. And my wife fell on the floor laughing. So back to you, Margaret.

Let's think of a line, okay? It can be whatever line you want it to be. And I want you then to say with the accents, use the most that you identify as real accents, we're going to number them, and we're going to get your top three, and then the community is going to vote on which one you lock in, and then we want you to lock in on that for six months, no changing, three months, no changing.

Unless you're speaking in another dial, unless you're doing an actual different language. But that is what you use. If you slip out of it, you're a phony. go back to your real one. But we're going to say this is your actual voice and the other ones you're putting them on. Yep. Is that what you want? Yes.

Okay. Okay. One of them could possibly be the osmunk cigarettes at the club. You unemployed billions. Why? It doesn't have to be. It won't be. Secret of urgency.

That's our secret. You know, you go to in and out and they have like, stuff on the menu? Yeah. That's going to be on the secret menu. For what? When will it be utilized and helpful? Maybe Patreon? If I accidentally slip. Maybe Patreon. All right, my goodness. Let's start. What should we call this one? The first one? The first one would be international. Okay. So let's hear the international and we need a line of dialogue, why don't we say something along the lines of, this is me, Margaret, this is my natural voice.

My legs go from my, this is me, Margaret, this is my natural voice, my legs go from my ankles to my ears. Okay, there you go. That is the line. And then after that, but you, sir, have potato picking legs. Okay. It is sad. Okay.

Let Jake on earth some of his potato trauma here, too. Why not? Let's have some fun. Okay, so the line, go ahead, whenever you're ready, international. This is me, Margrette. This is my natural voice. I have legs from my ankles to my ears. I don't have potato picking legs. I will say.

Very good. A little robotic, it felt like, and you kind of sounded like AI to me. Let's just be honest now. Okay. Well, look. It sounded like an AI person who I'm calling in, and they go like, like, hi, the person you're calling is not here. Can I answer any of your questions?

I do not have potato picking lines. When you say operator, they're just like, I, fortunately, I need some more information before I can send you to an actual person. So that's one. I was just scared of forgetting my line. You're great. Okay. You want to do that one again? Yes.

Okay. I'm not being mean. I have to give an honest opinion. This shows very much like the voice. No, I know. We're judges. This is the voice right now. This is the actual.

We're more the voice than the voice right now. That's the singing competition. Yeah, we're picking accents. We're doing a voice. We're picking your voice. All right, do it again, Margaret. This is me, Marqurette. This is my natural voice.

I have legs from my ankles to my ears. Oh, and I don't have potato picking legs. Really good. Way less AI. You're adding a lot of heat on Margaret. That's, I mean, it's... Yeah, I think it's because I'm always... I'm also choosing to do that, like, because I often say it without the Icelandic accent, so it's easier for people to understand.

That makes sense. And I make a conscious decision not to say Margaret, because that sounds very English. What would we call accent to? Accent two would be Icelandic. Let's hear it. Mm-hmm. This is me, Marqurette. This is my natural voice.

I have legs from my ankles to my ears. I don't have potato picking legs. You are great with accents. Very good. I mean, that's here. Okay, that's great. I like this a lot, Margaret. Let's hear the third one, and what would you call it?

Two words English. What is that mean? Oh, towards. I thought you said two words, English. I was like, lady, that's one word. Almost the word. Two words. English.

English. Peace. I'm not from here. Three words. Peace. Towards English. Go ahead. This is me, Margaret. This is my natural voice. I have legs from my ankles to my ears, and I don't have potato-picking legs.

English is really standard and clean. To you, she's in Denmark. But I will say three great options. You got a fourth? I mean, I could do a Danish one, but that's mainly to make fun of Danish people. You don't want that, but let's hear it. This is me, Margaret. This is my natural voice.

I have legs from my ankles to my ears. I don't have potato-picking legs. Could sound more like a J-compression. And then they will say, you can just speak English. Our English is actually perfect. The attitude. Margaret, will you then give me really quick

international school that we've been working on together with these lines just to hear it? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. This is me, Margaret. This is my natural voice. I have legs from my ankles to my ears. I don't have potato-picking legs.

Excellent. So I think we have three great options. The first one. And a nightmare, fourth. International. Yep. Give us really quick, international. Just say, I don't have potato-picking legs.

International. I don't have potato-picking legs. Two, Icelandic. Same line. I don't have potato picking legs three English same line I don't have potato picking legs we are going to put something up

Jesse when the episode airs will you jump in with the producer Jesse it'll be we need to pick slash Margaret's accent or however you want to do it slash the voice and then we'll have you on we'll talk about the one that's been decided on Yes.

And we'll hear it. Perfect. And we'll hear it. And then we need you to live in this for a while. Do you have, do we want to weigh in at all? Do you have an opinion? Me? Yeah. Do you have an opinion?

I do. What's yours? I like international. Can I hear international one more time? Can you say, I'm the host of this prom. I love smoking cigarettes and doing cool things. Yeah. I'm the host of this prom night.

Is it that one? Yeah. Yeah. I'm the host of this prom night. I really like doing cool things and smoking cigarettes. Okay. And that was international. That's the one you like, Gareth?

I do, yeah. Can I hear Icelandic as that? Yeah. I'm the host of this prom night. I really like cool things and smoking cigarettes. Okay. Can I hear that in the towards English? Yeah.

I'm the host of this prom night. I really like cool things and smoking cigarettes. First of all, Margaret. What a great feature to have. Yeah. And I will tell you, as a... It is like selecting a font. Margaret, it's exactly what it's like.

I have spent the last 20 years of my life on set a lot. You're a killer. Yeah. If you're doing voice over, this is... It is like selecting a font with you. It's they're always consistent and they're fucking good. Yep. I like all of these.

I'm leaning in towards English. Icelandic is great, but you're so Icelandic then that if you ever come off, I'm going to think you're a phony. Well, what I like about international is that it's kind of a blend that can fit most regions. You know what? If I ever, if anybody out there and don't use AI, if anybody gets excited and wants to write a fake one-page memoir called MyDade. days in international school. Margaret, can we send it to you and will you record it as a voice note and we'll have our first audiobook? 100%. You do have a great. It is very malleable and great. And anybody who gets excited and wants to write it, just make sure there's a bunch of

different characters from different regions talking so that Margaret has to do the voices. Yeah, like it could be a cafeteria conversation at international school. I think that's right. Oh, I love it. The protagonist is a woman named Margaret. She's at international school. The coolest guy in school is a guy named Jake. Whoa, what a slip. Almost got me there, huh?

The bad boy is Gareth. Oh, excuse me. But the cool football player, middle linebacker, Jake. Yeah, he's got those potato pickers. With potato picking legs. It's hard to tackle. Hey, Margaret, this is great. We're going to bring you back down.

And you're awesome. You're awesome. Way to go. We'll have a vote. You guys are to. Thanks, Margaret. Maybe this is unnecessary. While we've got you, Margaret,

Margaret actually emailed in about something else, which is related to the man in the iron hair. This was months ago, but do you guys want to see a picture that she sent in since we have a minute? Of course we do. Okay, let me just pull it up. Oh, I hope you're going to love this. Walk us through.

This is a true, phozer and Icelandic legend. So it was about the episode with a with a guy with the comb over from the back to the front. Right. And there was a man fairly well known in the northern part of Iceland that was a runner. And he rocked his hairstyle, but with the additive of a hair clip of bobby pin in the front. First of all, how great is ice school? The fuck. God, is he great?

Gareth, what are we looking at here? Jake, I'm not sure if I could tell us what we're looking at here. I mean, first of all, how great is Iceland where we have famous runners? Those were the days. All right, well, what we're looking at is obviously a man living in a complete universe of full denial. He's holding a trophy like it's a sipping cup, first of all, an intense Icelandic stare down the barrel. He does look like with crazy hair. If he kept going down on people forever.

His hair, clearly the sides are fine, but then we have a full-on coma head. But instead of trying to just kind of caesar it up, he's decided to allow a little bit more length in the center denial zone. That's crazy. And he's brought it down into a little bit of a tailed wave. the gel factor is high. It's wild. And so he has like the Superman curl up front, but it's really pronounced.

Hey, Margaret, do you remember your lines from earlier? I think so. Can you, what's this guy's name? You own sleep buddy. You own the runner. Can you do the same thing but change Margaret to his name and say it as we look at this picture in the first. Or as me.

As him. With a voice? With the voice, same lines. Can we hear that as international? But his name instead of yours. This is me. This is my natural speaking voice. I have legs from my ankles to my ears.

I don't have potato pickers. Can we hear it? Icelandic, please. This is me. Yon Fliperi. This is my natural. speaking voice. I have legs from my ankle to my ears. I don't have potato pickers. Can we hear it in English? This is me. Your Honor, buddy. This is my natural speaking voice. I have legs from my

uncles to my ears and I don't have potato pickers. If it's him, I want Icelandic 100%. If it's you, I want English. Of course you do. Yeah. And that's the different, but that's the difference. This man is a god. He's wonderful. Everybody great we lose. Jake, he was rumored to run in front of cars to let them hit him for insurance. Of course he was. Of course he was, Jake. Yes, of course.

You know who he was? Oh, who. My first professor. No, what the hell? Wait, Margaret, what's his name again? Yon Slopari. My professor had mento, young sloperly. who didn't have potato pickers.

He used to run in front of automobiles and get hit for money. And if they missed him, he would take his hair and they would grab the bumper and they'd drag him so he could get insurance information. He was the first man who taught me how to comb my hair so that I was the cool guy hosting the prom, smoking the cigarettes. A watercolor of a big wave. This is at his memorial. I will always love him the most. of all the man who was my teachers. Margaret, thank you for the call.

Thank you, Margaret. Everybody, go vote. We'll be in touch. And we were brought to you by Zell. Life is full of little moments when sending money makes a big difference. So whether you're pitching in for the last minute group gift or you're trying to send some money to a friend's kid or for college or whatever it is, it doesn't matter, Zell has got you.

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That's K-A-C-H-A-V-A-D-C-A-V-A-com. Cachava.com code here to help for 15% off. Hello. Hi. Hi. Welcome to the show. Can we get your name, please? Hi, I'm Zoe.

Hi, Zoe. Zoe, where are you calling from today? I'm in Portland, Oregon Oh, beautiful Portland, you got Jake, you got Gary Zoe You're going as Gary? No

You're right, Gerith Zoe, when you're a kid Is there a show that you felt was a show That really made a huge impact on you? What was your favorite TV show growing up? Probably the L word. Oh, interesting. Interesting, wow.

Good Lord, Zoe. Really coming out on TV. I'll tell you what, we really, I think that that is a clear picture. And how old were you when you first saw it? About 11. And what did it mean for you at 11? Look at me asking the hard-hidden questions.

Daitland. I think it's in the name. You said like, you were like, this is. That's great. So that, I mean, there you go. You know what, similar. Mine was small wonder. and I think for the same reasons, it's right there in the name.

I'm a small wonder. Mine was taxi. Same thing. I was like, I want to get a cabby license. I thought, I want to live in a little closet, wear a cute dress, and people think of me as a robot who's a small wonder. All right. Well, Zoe, we've really...

We've really... Going off the rails early on the car one. So, Portland, Zoe, what is going on? what can we help you with? So basically my mom has been on this like houseboat rental journey for the last few years and her boyfriend very sweetly

purchased her a boat to make like the boat of her dreams her forever home sort of which is very nice. Jumping in. I know. I agree. You're like this is normalized for you

for us. We're like, okay. There's a lot. It's hard. not to interrupt this one. Okay, but keep going. A lot of good stuff. Yeah. Okay. So, uh, this was back in May. Uh, and so at April, she moved out, stay with her sister for a couple weeks. That was like the line. In a couple weeks, he'll have renovated this boat and it'll be ready to move in. Obviously, it's now October.

Well, yeah. Yeah. Very sweet. Um, and by himself as well. He refuses to hire any help with it. Uh-oh. He is 66. Uh-oh. my mom is 69 which is of course young and she's going to live forever but things are sewing down a bit and yeah so that was back in in May and it's October now and she's still bouncing between sisters who are all in their 70s and they are getting pretty sick of each other and the boat's not ready so what is this well before that Garf or Gary What is the specific question? Because this is an interesting setup.

Yeah, and I feel kind of bad because I'm worried you won't be able to help. I kind of would like Dragha to hire some help or maybe convince my mom to rent and apart. Zoe. His name is. It's Draggo. Zoe, the details. Wait, Zoe, are you actually going to let us release this with this name? Because you said you were going to give him a fake name and I can't do this people.

thing that we did before. Just do it, whatever. He's off the grid. You can't find him. Thank you. Drag is an eccentric, millionaire. Her mother's boyfriend.

He has a lot of money. Does he want to produce a podcast? Does you want to buy us a helicopter so we can go to Cape Town and watch people crap? I got a lot of ideas. I'd like to talk to Dr. He's not a helicopter, but he's, you know, he's doing well. Does you want to build us a boat? We'll go to Africa.

No problem. We'll float, Tilla. The boat is not a luxurious. I don't know if I have to tell you this about houseboats. They're not idea. But it's not,

yeah, it's more boat than how we're seeing it. Oh, my God, it's a forest gum shrimp boat. This is not what I pictured at all. It was set to be scrapped before he purchased it.

I love this. It says wild. And what's that photo beneath of a heart over someone's face? Oh, what am I looking? Oh, it's a baby. It's a baby.

Yeah, I felt that was crazy. I didn't know what to make of that stomach. I think there's a baby. Babies weren't a crop top, which makes sense as a baby. It doesn't if it's an adult. Yeah. So I think the point of this text is not the baby. It looks like it's being held with oven mitts.

If that's an adult, if that's something your mom sent to Drago, I'm like, aboard. Just get out of this situation. That's gross. If it's a baby, it's cute. The text says, this is between you and your mother, I believe. How is the boat coming? And your mother replies two more weeks.

I think I have to go to a sister's name, need a break from San Jose. And you say two weeks, huh, with a crying, laughing emoji. And she says, L.O.L. So the inside joke here is that. But then she sends you a photo of a baby with her gut out? What is that? That baby does look like. It was a different day.

It's like it's a new cousin's baby. It's very exciting. Okay. So there's a baby. If everyone's excited about that baby. Yeah. I didn't know how much to sort of crop a screenshot of the text for you guys. But I thought it might be.

I'll drop it. I'll drop it. So now we're back with mom. How long until the bathroom is done, you ask? I am worried, exclamation point. Maybe three weeks. Here's a crazy idea you say. What if he hired help, question mark?

Thoughtful emoji. Yeah. And wouldn't you know what? bitch did not respond. Ooh, I love that, I love referring to mom as the bitch. I mean, I do. It adds heat. Okay.

Gareth, I'm going to start referring to you as the bitch. I thank you and I welcome it. And you can call me the bitch. You are the bitch. Call me the bitch. You are the bitch. I'm being meeting a bitch. The bitch is getting hot.

Done. My nickname on the show is the bitch. The bitch is mad at Drago. Um, so essentially what we're dealing with here, Zoe, is... Curly and the bitch. Uh, oh, my God. That sounds like an L-word episode title. I, uh, what we're dealing with is a houseboat that seems like it'll never be finished

because Drago is a drag ass. He's putting the drag and drago. Your mom is, your mom is allowing... 25% liked that one. It was terrible. I'm out. I want to do. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Your mother is allowing it because it's a gift. You recognize the reality is that this guy needs some help to turn this shrimp boat into a houseboat. Right. But it is an endless project, and so your mother is sort of couch surfing while this all goes on and seemingly can't confront him to fucking get this thing done. Crazy.

You got it. Yeah. I mean, how do we get Drago to want to finish this houseboat? And your mother has no interest in the confrontation, obviously. She seems to be avoiding it pretty hard. I would say that seems right. It's difficult to get sort of an answer out of her of how much she's asked. Zoe, this is a great setup.

But you are right to say this is a tricky one, and I'll tell you why. because you're not your mom and we so if this was mom call it in but we are we are trying to fix a third party problem and we will pitch on it but this is a tricky one i have a pitch go ahead garf i think what we should do is either let's pick an event where we want to host a little party on the house boat this is a great idea so mom's birth birthday? No, it's got to be your birthday anniversary. Hold on. Zoe, what is something you have

coming up in about six weeks? How about this? Do you guys do Thanksgiving as a family together? We're doing Thanksgiving in Portland, my partner, but we'll do Christmas. Christmas is far. What's... Do you want to say we want to do Christmas

on the houseboat and send invitations? I fear she would just say no understood yeah is there anything coming up for you that is like your partner anniversary is that coming up at all does she know what your anniversary would be

I've got one too let me let me pitch on this because we're right in a zone so where what state is the house boat in California where in California Bay Area Okay. What if we did something like this? Say, mom, I'm working on this project with these guys in L.A. They were looking to do a photo shoot. They've got this model. Is there any way we could use? They're looking for a houseboat. This guy, Steve Berg, he's a calendar model. He's a hunk. And they're looking for boat-themed photos. Do you know,

when yours will be done. And if so, could you have Dragos send finished photos? And the reason is he finishes, he sends the photos, and then we go in another direction. So we're not getting Berg on the boat. We might, look, if we get it, we might put Berg on the boat. But just to move this ahead to get him excited and go, I know this is crazy.

And if you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it. But some old friends of mine, L-word producers, are putting together a photo shoot of this hunky guy that, shockingly, the ladies are loving and they're thinking about doing a second calendar because the first one was so successful. Noddy, nautical.

Oh, great. And they want to put them on a houseboat and I know you have one. Can you, as soon as it's finished, have Drago send a finished photos in? It's, you know, it would be really exciting. It would be really fun. they'll really feature the boat, they'll make it look really great.

And then, and then go, the calendar fell apart because sales for the first one were so low. I think, I like that. I think why don't you go directly to Drago? Yeah. Why don't you go to Drago? Okay. Zoe, Zoe, why is the hesitation? I don't think I have his phone number.

He just got a phone in the last few years. I love that for Drago. I don't have an email somewhere. Email, oh, he might not check emails. Why not? When, when, how often do you see your mother? Probably a few times a year. When is the next time you're going to see her?

And I'm assuming her and Drago live in the same area. Christmas? They don't. They've been long distance for about 20 years. Where does Drago? He lives in Laguna Beach. He lives in Laguna Beach? You said 20 years.

Yeah. Where does she live? The Bay area? Yeah Hang on a second I feel like This is actually about Drago's like

They're a little insecure They're like once the houseboat is done They have to live together Oh Jesse They don't know He would stay in the gunna Okay Okay never mind

Look I think you're right Jesse I really thought I was an honest I did too I thought you were earning the sweetness Of your nickname You're right to sniff around that area, but let's, I think the more that we pull this thread, the more that we're

not going to understand it. I think that's correct. Also, why did your mom move? But why did your mom move out of her place? Because she thought the boat would be ready in a couple weeks. That's insane. Another thing that's insane being in a 20-year long-distance relationship with the guy named Drago, who doesn't have a phone.

I mean, how do you communicate? You put letters on a pigeon? That's got... He doesn't have an email and he just got a phone year and along his relationship? He has an email, they email. They send really long emails to each other. Zoe, and I just, just, this is off.

This is no point. Is this a functioning relationship? That's not for us to judge. They seem really happy, honestly. How often are they seeing each other? It was your neighbor growing up? Oh, my God. Yeah.

Okay. How did drive will make the move? I can't care. Now I need to know. Well, my mom. actually did. How did she make the move on Drago? No.

Well, I was taking fruit from his tree outside. Holy Christ, this is it real life. This is like... She told me I had to ask his permission. And I was horrible as a child. I said no. And I refused. So then she used it as an excuse to talk to him.

Was Drago? Is Drago? Did he used to be hot as hell? Yeah. He's a great-looking guy. Yeah. Accent? Yes.

From where? Czech Republic. Serbia. Serbia. Give me a vibe of his look. You can't go out there, pick my guava. Sort of like a Pierce Brosman. Holy shit.

Give me a taste of your mom. Give her her a comp. She is like a super hippie. Oh, I love it. Like wearing flowing sort of chunky necklace. I love these two together. He didn't have that type in Serbia. No.

I never meet a woman like you. You cannot wear a chunky necklace where I come from. You smell like Garnola. I'm interrupting. You can't see, Natalie, thanks. Natalie, good work. Good job, good job. Permission to come aboard granted.

But my first character who Serbian did not go to international school, he's from Serbia. Okay, let's let Natalie do her thing, everybody. Agreed. So Zoe, when you. wrote in you said recently my mom suggested staying with me for quote unquote about two weeks up in Oregon please please help me convince drago to hire help so there's your clean question okay how are we going to stop her from living with you for two weeks and get on that boat great hey natalie uh we asked you for direction before to jump in when we were going off the water and you just did lady well

good word now i'm i'm going to ask you really quick you want to hear the serbian accents a little bit Maybe later Chonky, you smell like granola What? You smell like I've lost Wow Damn it

Oh my God is it It got Scottish Yeah, you bravehearted So really we're just trying to get Look I think we're trying to get him To hire people By suggesting that there is a pending event

Or a deadline I have an idea, Gareth Go Can we get his email Zoe? We'll email them from the show. Yeah, I could find it. And then why don't we do this? We know you.

We are hosting a photo shoot. Yes. And we are wondering, we know you have a house, but we're wondering when it will be complete. And if possible, would you ever be open to a Hollywood photo shoot, taking pics of Steve Berg? Very classy. Some on the boat eating. shrimp I think

I think this is right I think we get him I think let us initiate with him you put us in touch you know we can figure out the specifics

but something like that we want to have Steve Berg do a shoot we'll email and we don't mention the podcast no totally don't nope

we are a calendar making production and we've just sort of started to do calendars with this one model he's a little bigger but women seem to be

swooning and one of the things. He's not going to sink the boat. One of those things that we are now excited for is a, it's a sailor shoot. And we know Zoe, we're old friends, and we really would love to use the boat. When you think it'll be ready. And again, no pressure. No pressure. But only, Zoe was talking about, she sent his photos and told us, we think it looks so great. Yep. Yeah. I love it. I have one caveat, which is you might want to come up with how me a biologist from Portland knows these LA producers doing a photo shoot. Well, where'd you grow up? Bay Laguna.

Hey, babe. You see how the pieces of this beautiful mind come together? So did we. Guess what? We went to high school together. Steve Berg is from Laguna, the model. He's not. He is.

That body type's not from Laguna. He's a beach boy. you went to high school with these guys okay you vouch for them these are great guys okay real sweet guys and guess what you do here's how we started zoe you put an email with helpful pod at gmail dot com drago's and yours you initiate you go like hey drago these are friends of mine who i grew up with they're doing this thing not sure if you're interested if not no big deal not we don't do the helpful pod though why not because we don't want to know he's not going to link helpful pod to we're here to okay we're not putting our names in it it'll be sweet jessie or natalie absolutely okay all right

so but zoie so what do you think in this zone you tell us i like it i'm i don't know how optimistic i am but i think it's the best thing that i've heard from my name's mine on it hey you know what that's the whole premise of this goddamn thing that's why we keep stats and have a bell we ring. A lot of times it doesn't work, kid. I think we can get this there. Yeah, but also, Zoe, let me tell you this. We fail more than we win in life. Not true. We've been doing real good. But Garrett, listen, Zoe, let me tell you something. And this is advice from my generation to yours. You know, you want to be a baseball player. the best ever of all time had about 400 one year.

That means out of 10 at bats, they got out six times. If we're four out of 10, we're the best ever. I think what Jake's trying to say is that we will try our damnedest. If you're two out of 10, you'll be in the minor leagues. You still got a life. He's still talking. Go to Mexico and play. now nobody really knows what he's saying but

what we're trying in the DR. What we're trying to say is that let us initiate with him we'll try. I think if we open this threads. Yes. I think if we open this thread with him, I bet you we can get him. I think we can make him feel the heat. If he's ever going to finish him. Agreed. And then if he isn't, then it might be worth having a conversation with your mother where you're just like, you know, the next, the next call. Let's not get to the next yet. No, let's not get there. All right. We're at the meal.

Let's not talk dessert. You're right. Zoe, what are you thinking? What are you going to do? You take the charge. I love it. You guys are genius. I think it's going to be amazing. And so what are you going to write in that email? And do you want to do it right now? Yes. I, it might take me a minute to find his email. That's fair. Okay. Here's what I will say, though. Fuck, I couldn't even hear Serbian in my head.

I wanted to go out with a Serbian line and all I was hearing was Mill Gibson's freedom. Well, why don't you try it? Think of Daniel Day. We're at the email. Okay. Sorry, I really apologize. Let me. I'll text my mom.

to ask for his email. That's the idea. It's just so bad. It's so bad. It's gotten worse. Ugh. Stop. I definitely hate it.

I'm from Serbia. I'm not, though. Oh, shit. All right. So apologies for what, obviously, the war crime that just took place here. But text your mom, get the email. And let's go from there. Do it happens, yeah.

Okay. Just get them on the hook for us. Yeah, perfect. I'll just say, hey, these guys from high school have a question for you, and I'll kind of let you guys take it. I love that. That's a great idea. Perfect.

Zoe? Perfect. We're going to get your mom living on this goddamn houseboat or in an apartment. Okay? One of the two is going to happen. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. You guys are great.

Jake, do you want to say farewell? in Serbian? You do it first. Take care, Zoe. I think we're going to solve your problem. That's what I'm saying, and I'll see it the next time of a round. Oh, my God. Found it.

Found it. No. All I've got to say is definitely found it. Lost it again. All right, Zoe. Thank you. Hello. Hello?

What's up, brother? Beautiful, Barry White bassy voice. We missed last week on a follow-up. So, Brian, we know the match occurred. Everybody, this is Brian ever. You guys all know from Pickling Chips, the classic. Our Super Bowl, if you will. Yeah.

Brian, first of all, we watched you play. You did pretty good. You were pretty good. He beat you pretty bad, though, no? Let me say this real quick, Jake. I had a show the night that this episode came out, and there was a chatter. People were very, some people hadn't finished it, and we're like, how does it go? I hadn't listened to it, but people were excited.

Can I tell you another thing, Brian and Gareth and our audience? Yeah. I just did an interview for pickleball.com. Oh, right. They reached out to me because they want to do us. They want to cover the story for the dink. And they said, can we be first? The community's really excited.

And I said, we got to wait on that. But I got something pretty big. And I asked the writer to listen. He loved it. He's doing an entire story just on this match with quotes. He watched it. He thought both you guys did great. And he thought it was good for the sport.

And I said, tell me why. And he said, because it goes to show that even though the thing with pickle balls, they say anybody can do it, there's levels to this game. Which we saw. Well, first of all, Brian, that has to be, I mean, you're getting actual coverage now for the Pickle and Championship. So that's big. But I think to where Jake was leading us, you know, we watched it. How do you feel like it all went? I mean, we've already talked about it.

You know what, Brian guy? Take the wheel. Walk us through the whole thing, your whole experience. The day, the drinking. The drinking was a surprise. eyes. It's an interesting twist. When we used to play frizzball competitively, we would never drink before.

Now. We wouldn't drink after we were so gas. I mean, the day kind of, well, I mean, the night before was a little bit a little rough. You know, it's my Friday, uh, or my Saturday, basically, so

what does that be, Ryan? Usually the, you know, have a few adult beverages, stay up a little later with the wife than normal. And then And the chair of the dog was definitely mandatory before the match. Let me jump in here, Jake. Because when he started, it sounded like he was talking about, like, I had a work event. I had to go.

But he's just saying he can't take a night off and drink a Friday. I'll tell you this. That's not an excuse. It's not. If you want to drink before a match, God bless you. There was no excuses. Sometimes you just eat crow. I agree.

I respect that. So you showed up, you get there, how were you feeling before the match started? I was feeling, I was ready. I was hyped up. That's nice to know. Okay. So now let me ask you something, let me ask you something real because you are going back to the old NFL days when I really loved the game.

There's a guy named Pac-Man Jones. It's telling your history. Not just, I'm not going on a tangent. But you might want, I mean. But I've always loved the Pac-Man Jones type. How much did you love? How much did you love him? A lot.

To the point where? No. Yes. To the point where he used to refer to himself as Pac-Man in the Frisball league. He would call himself Pac-Man all the time. He would play. And I will, listen. It's intimidating.

Jake was better when the Frisbee would be in the air grabbing it away from you than anyone. But he still, he would refer to himself as Pac-Man in. in first person all the time. Well, Pac-Man is going to get that for a third person. But here's what I would say, Brian. So you had Pac-Man Jones vibes. Deep down, did you think you were going to win or did you think he's probably going to beat me?

I don't want any spin. I just want the truth now. It's really just for me. So we agreed. And to just rally a little bit before we played against each other. And we, you know, I was. I was like, okay, he can play a little bit. He could play.

Mind you. I didn't know he could. He has a really good serve is what he has. Okay. He has a serve with a lot of spin and a pretty decent block. Those are hard. Hard to deal with. Yes.

Jake. But let him go. Let him go, G. And penned you back to where you're, you know, pretty far behind the line. And he controls the court. And he can charge the net. And I wasn't expecting that. I didn't know.

that's the platform that you play with because it's a pickleball. Brian, Brian, allow me to just jump in here and say what some of the... Yes, sir. Just, it's kind of furthering the earlier point about the Friday night drink. You knew this was coming. Now, I'm not saying you need to hire a coach,

but it seems like you approached, like considering what's on the line, it seems like you approach this with very little practice to get ready for... Seems like the state was not taken very serious. Although the stakes are pretty high, Brian. Well, that's why I'm going to, at one point, accuse him up. He's got a whopper. That's how much, that's how he's got a whopper.

That's the problem here. He's got a whopper. He's got a whopper. You can't give the, listen. You might be totally, he wanted to lose. Well, he's like, he's like, he goes, what's the worst that happened? Everyone knows I got a whopper. Everybody goes like this.

Oh, look, hey. Oh, wow. Whoa. Brian, did Gareth just nail what this is really about? Listen to his voice. This guy's all the offer. He's kind of a thing, baby. I had nothing.

Well, that's my initials. So I was gone. I was BK. all my life. So I will give you that. He ain't BK. Jr. No. Are you a double meat?

He's the impossible waffer. No, he isn't. That's not real me. I'm the impossible. We both are. You are the impossible. offer with like vegan cheese and no cheese either no sauce either he gives us stomach aches yeah half a bun and then lately i'm the guy with no bun which is even worse i'm a lettuce wrap but brian so

yeah we're getting to the meat of this mm-hmm go ahead no i just uh you know there's well the one thing that i and i'm not there's no excuses i took the loss i took the l i respect that 1,000 He was the better guy that showed up that day. I should have taken a lot more serious than I did. Brian, let me ask you this, because the one thing people always ask after any kind of big, hyped match like this one, is, are you going to do it again?

Do you think there's any chance of a rematch? Are you going to start playing pickleball? I mean, but a year from now, he could train and maybe give Taylor a much bigger run for his money. I mean, who knows if we'll still be involved, but I'm curious if that's on your radar at all. I was kind of shocked that, you know, like, I'm a good sport. I'm not a sore loser.

So, you know, when you, everybody knows when it comes to athletics and things like that, you know, you're not going to win every match. You're, whether it's what sport, it doesn't matter what sport. You know who all said that, Pac-Man Jones? I don't believe he did. Keep going, Brian. But Taylor, right after the match, he said, we're definitely having a rematch. did this piss you off or is it all just a gag because if it's a gag

we got a caller waiting in the waiting room who's got dirty underpants on that we need to help figure out what to do with them yeah it won't wash them it hurts the eagle a little bit but enough to fire you up or is this the end no it definitely I enjoy pickleball

it's fun and it brought back some competitiveness that I probably, you know, just other than when I go and play golf or something like that, that I like in a little fire. I'm definitely, I won't pressure him and make it mandatory to have a rematch. No, but we could. He wants one. I definitely would like to rematch him.

Okay. And I will definitely, it'll be a different game. Get it together. Here's what we're going to do really fast. We're not going to put stakes on the new match. We're not going to discuss it yet. But here's what I'm going to propose to you, Brian. What about getting in the best shape of your life?

Yeah. What about bringing back Brian, the athlete? You're only 42 years young, my king. Yeah. What if we saw what a year does of discipline? a year of push-ups, a year of squats. Just even showing up and playing pickleball more. You'll drop LBs, you'll get better.

He's not going to see it coming. I think it's... This all started, it started a thing with, you know, my buddies and I. Now everybody wants to be, you know, a pickleball professional. Okay. So why don't you start playing if anybody who is in the Arizona area is a, coach and wants to work with Brian, reach out to us, we'll connect. And why don't you see what you can get involved in, Brian?

You know what I really hope happens just on a human level? I hope this motivates you. I hope you get in great shape, and I'd love to see what happens if you guys play again, February-ish, and you feel like you're at your peak again, maybe March. And I would love to see a match where you two guys actually battle. I want to see two animals. I want one piece of meat to get between a bear and a wolf and I want to see who eats it

You got it Keep my, Jake has a chimp at behind it All right, Brian, get at it And keep us posted And text Taylor after this And be like, all right, I just did my follow up When are we doing the dinner? You got it, I will

All right, buddy Hey Brian, thanks for being on the show, brother Yeah, for real way to you guys Appreciate you, man Thank you, buddy All right, guys See you at any time Okay

All right. Bye. Okay. You guys want to do five minutes with the fan? Yeah. Hello. Hello, hello. Hello. Hello. Can we get your name, please? My name is Brock. Brock. We know you were at the fame pickle and chip championships.

We don't know much else. But first of all, huge respect for showing up. Did you go to Target? and buy a Gareth vest? I did not. Oh, good. But I saw that the vest. The vest made it to the pickle and chip.

Because I saw you in a photo with the vest, I believe. That's so fucking, yes. Okay. So now, Brock, do us a favor and walk us through your experience of the match, all your thoughts. This will close us out on this saga for now, but let this audience know what it was like to be there and what you. saw with your eyes.

And to encourage more fan participation in random events. I agree, actually. So I saw on Instagram that it was about 30 minutes away in Pink Creek. I live in Chandler,

Arizona. And so with some encouragement from a buddy, who's also a listener, and my loving, supportive wife, who also listens to the podcast. Well, look at that family. I like three.

Yeah, I texted her and I said, hey, I knew she was at the gym. I said, if I come by and pick you guys up, like the kids from school, I'll come swing by and let's drive out to Queen Creek. So we did. And look, I'm almost afraid to tell you because I don't want it to be a huge letdown, but I miss most of the match. No. It's not a lockdown. I did. It's not.

No, it is. He drove 30 minutes with his family. Why were you late? Yeah. Because the kids at school. It was a bit of a drive. This is a weird super bowl.

I showed up with my sign. I'm a random guy walking up to, you know, football court. And I catch, like, the last couple hits. And then I go back, wrangle the family. my two young kids, four and six. And, you know, it wasn't a tough sell to the wife, but the kids are like, why are we at this? I get it.

It's a completely fair question. Yeah, agree. Who are these men? Why? Yeah. Why are they announcers? Why are you watching pickleball? Why this is an interest in a pickleball match?

So this is good stuff, Brock. You know, I walk up, the family's all gathered. They kind of clock me. Again, I have the sign unfurled. what is the sign say again just so we know team taylor and then i had a couple of quotes make it swift teach brian a lesson

finish him as well as we're here to help cheer it's also amazing to be like because Brian has stuff buddy Brian has people there too yeah so his people his people

he had some support which I deal was sorely needed And realistically, I'm all for an underdog story, right? I'm team, I hope everyone has fun. You know, as long as we're all enjoying ourselves, go for it. That being said, there was no chance. I mean, if I had to place money on it, it's team Taylor all the way. Taylor just killed him.

And unfortunately, what I was hoping for, It was a little more from Brian so that it lasted longer. And I could have caught. I think we all were a brother. Yeah, but he was super late. So that's why. He was like, oh, shit, I got to see like five minutes. I wanted to see a better match.

And we all did. But again, I mean, shut up. I don't know if you know this, Brock, but pickleball.com is covering this goddamn story. Well, I'm not really, you know, one for showing up to random pickleball matches and just watching. Hey, from your history, Brock, I would disagree with that statement. Yeah, as far as we know, you're the only guy on planet Earth who does this. Did you expect more fans to be there, Brock? I did.

Yeah. Truthfully, I did. It's interesting to be the only one. They had T-shirts, right? The Taylor's face on a T-shirt, and I, you know, couldn't wrestle one off of Grandma. But I thought I represented. Did you, uh, what did you feel weird? Yes.

Did you, uh, did you, who did you sit next to? but I had to own it So when I got there They had the vest laying out on a picnic table And I got Approached by a bunch of different people It all kind of came at me

A little fast I believe one of the moms said You know we've been dealing with this Level of competition between You know With I'm guessing it was Taylor Oh shit You know Taylor's mom

Could have been Brian's mom Yeah I understand She didn't introduce herself But they said you know, we've been dealing with this for 30, 40 years. And I said, I understand that. Got to talk to Taylor and Brian. Hold on your thoughts on the guys.

Brock, your thoughts on the guys. Okay. Taylor showed up. He's dressed. He had all the swag and the gear, right? And he just looked prepared. And honestly, not that winded, not that sweaty. Whereas my man, Brian, bright guy, the guy's guy, he was.

He was a little tuckered out. Well, we just talked to it. Yeah, he drank and never played before. Exactly. And it was hot. That's the thing. Phoenix, you know, adjacent area. It was about 95 degrees.

I was sweating, just walking up, you know. Nothing to do with nerves. Just straight up feet. This is a great. And as much as I wanted to give him a hug, I didn't. It's disgusting. He was disgusting. Also, Brock, the thing you got to know about Brian, he's got a huge dick.

Well, we're benign. We haven't gotten the full printout. We're dealing with hog. It sounds good, Brock. So you saw it. What we've really learned in the follow-ups now, this being our third, is Taylor destroyed him. There was no chance. He was in shape.

He looked right. Brian talked a big game and got eaten up. What I hope this motivates for Brian. because I do believe when I was watching Brian move around that court, he is naturally athletic. Yeah, there's an athlete in there. If he brings

back the animal and he practices with his buddies and he gets out there and he starts playing, in six months we can have a real rematch. But right now it's varsity versus JV. Brian and I need to train together.

Brock I don't think you're hearing exactly what Jake's saying, but we need you to show up to the event again. Actually, Brock, that's exactly what I'm saying. Now, Brock, one more question before we let you go, but again, we really do appreciate you not only showing up, but... Oh, yeah, Brock, you're a real winner. Giving us a little more context to all this. You said you're about a half hour, you were about a half hour from the match?

Yeah. You're about a half hour from Chandler? From Pink Creek. Okay, you live in Chandler? Yes. okay because i had a show there the other night and i'm curious if you made the drive to nowhere at a more appropriate time to see my show or if you drove 30 minutes rushing to go you know i wanted to be there but my wife was out of town for work i had both of the kids

and again i'm not going to bring them to your show to a random pickleball match for strangers by himself with a shirt on rock we appreciate the rock love you Thank you. You're the best, buddy. Next time. All right. Thank you, you guys. Bye, pal.

Bye, bud. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at Helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, Executive Pretty Producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The theme song by Oliver Raleigh.

The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to Gareth Reynolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of Season 1 are available now,

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