We're Here to Help - 241: Get His A** UP & Soup To Go (with Dakota Fanning)

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

Jake is joined by Dakota Fanning and his brother Danny J for this special episode. First, they help a caller get her optimistic husband out of bed. Then, they order French Onion Soup to go.All episodes of the newest suburban thriller series All Her Fault, starring Dakota Fanning, are streaming now on Peacock.Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, we're heredos. The Steve Berg-2020 calendar is here. Well, almost. It will be available for order on December 3rd at 12 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. We are doing a limited run of 500 calendars, so get yours while you can. All orders will ship December 9th, just in time for the holidays. Visit www.com.com to order. So we are here, we're here with a new friend of, Dakota. I would say a good friend is joining the pod. We are also here with one of the biggest indie finessex. financiers in the game. Somebody who Dakota fan has been a fan of years. Long time.

When Danny Jay came to Alaska, I've never seen her so girlish and nervous. Dakota, is this wrong? Am I making things up? Not at all. I was starstruck. It's exciting for you, and I'm delighted to meet

another fan, Dakota. It's great. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being so nice to me. Well, you know, I like to put people Yeah, you did. And if you remember, Dakota, you did a scene with the great Danny J.A.K. My brother. I did. Dakota and I did a movie together, a Joe Swamberg movie that, first of all, we both just watched your thoughts on the movie, Dakota. Oh, my God. I'm obsessed with it. I love it so much. Yeah, I love it.

Same. Joe's been working his ass off. I know. I can't wait. It's a really good movie. And Dan did make it in the cut. Did I? And yeah. Well, look.

I would, I didn't want to note. Danny, Danny Jay. Let's let Dakota speak for once. That's fine. I would just want to note for the record that my invitation to the screening got in

my spam folder or something. But the executive producer wasn't in that Zoom screening. So I just wanted to note. It was a bit of a Fail, Jake.

I have to say, because I watched it twice. Yes, Dakota. Thank you. I watched it twice. And the first time I had forgotten, Dan, about your moment, the first time I watched it. But I thought in my mind, whoa, what did that guy just say? Like in that scene? But it didn't clock.

And then the second time. It was Danny Jay. Yeah. And then the second time I watched it, I was like, oh, my God. It's Danny Jay. That's awesome. It was great working with you, Dakota. Hold on, Danny Jay before you steamroll.

This is one of our greatest actors. I'm excited to hear her thoughts. When you did realize the second time, because his character is slightly out of focus. Well, nobody pulled focus to him, Danny. You have not seen it yet. Your character is slightly out of focus. Well, that's because I wanted to play it that way,

because the great actors, as Dakota and I talked about, when we did our scene together on a movie set as to actor-to-actor. As we discussed, sometimes you are the foreground and sometimes you're the frame. And you're like... Yeah, when we did also actor-to-actor when you and I did Easy Together,

Dan said to Joe, should I look at the camera? And Joe had a great laugh and said, no, look at your brother in the scene. And then Dan goes, how do you do this and not just look at the camera that thing is like

I don't know bro I guess practice he's like it's crazy shouldn't we just be looking at it I will say the great Joe Swamberg did tell me after my almost award winning scene in Easy when I played your brother Jake

he said hey you played my brother Danny L I did yes Danny L was a Butcher, and I brought a lot of, you know, visceral feeling to that butcher role. But he did say with all sincerity, hey, the guy can act.

Well, also, this isn't about you. It's about our guest, Dakota. And you know what that made me feel? I think our audience will be more excited to hear about. Yeah, sure. I'm sure. I just want to finish, but I'm just going to tell you my point, is that when the great director, Joe Swanberg, said that, hey, you can act.

I said, you know what? I think it's time for me to be an independent philosophy. and the financier. Thanks, Joe Swanberg. Okay. Shut up. So, Dakota, obviously, we will do another one of these

when our little movie comes. And unfortunately for you, Danny Jay will be part of all the press and the festival. Everything. 100%. 100%. There's no way I get to.

Yes. As you know, because you're very close with your sister, we've discussed. Oh, yeah. There's no getting rid of them. Get out of this photo shoot, bitch. I'm right to get out of here.

We should tell, or maybe we save it, I don't know, but the writing the bull story. Please take over. Dan, you had like, you had to be on the airplane in like 18 minutes. That was pushing us. That was pushing. We had finished working. It never gets dark in Anchorage, Alaska as. We know.

Yeah. And so we went and we were, everyone was meeting at this bar after work. Like, you know, I think it was a Friday. And you were leaving. You had 18 minutes to get to on the flight. And the bull, there was a, like, you know, to ride the bull in the middle of this bar. But it was down. It was off.

Like the inflatable thing was not pumped up. Yeah. It was like 10 people in the whole bar. Yeah. It was a huge place, but no one was there. We were for the 10 people, like plus Joe. Yes. And Dan's like, I think I've got to, think I'm going to ride that bull.

And Jake was like, no, like, it's off. Like, no, you got to go. It's not the bye. You've already said your goodbyes. Yes. I did. I had. In the two minutes of lingering between the goodbyes and Dan getting in the car to go to the airport. It starts the inflate.

Crazy time. We didn't ask for that. to happen it happened on its own and so dan got his wish of riding the bull with uh 10 minutes did you ever did you ever ride that bull no oh no i know i didn't either i wanted to so bad uh because i wanted to so badly but um i didn't want to do it in a bar full of people yeah i understand because i felt like there would be, like, a lot of videos of me riding the bowl, and I just didn't think. I just, like, didn't think that's something that I needed to happen. I hate to deal with that.

Similar. Yeah, it went very, you know, there's a lot of videos. I'm like, oh, guys, enough. I know you're excited to see one of the biggest indie film financiers in the game in Anchorage, but put the phones away, guys, be cool. But it's fine. You know, I dealt with it. Dan, you literally did the opposite and yelled, anybody want to film this.

I don't remember that part. The real star is here. That's weird. I don't remember that at all. Weird. Back to the Great Dakota. Back to the Great Dakota. Why am I on?

Why am I here? To steamroll. Dakota, really quickly, what is this other show that you've cheated on, our Alaska movie with? In another place, starting with an A, filmed it in Australia, Melbourne, Australia. It's called All Her Faults with Sarah Snook and Jake Lacey and Michael Pena and Abby Elliott. It's a great cast. Oh, this is when you're telling me about, yes. Yes.

And I was so excited to work with Sarah. That was really a big draw for me and a little bit of a mystery element. And it was really, yeah, really fun to work with such a great cast. Yeah, yeah. Totally. It's awesome. So everybody check it out and let's take some calls. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

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Hi, yeah, this is Veronica. You can call me Ronnie. Ronnie. Call you Ronnie? Love it. That's cool as stuff. Home run. I love calling somebody by a nickname like that who's a Veronica.

Yeah. It's like the Ronnie. I'm glad you like it. It's like the 80s' sisters. Go on? I haven't seen it. I haven't seen that, unfortunately. Ronnie, nobody has.

I'm not making sure it's a real show. This is Danny J. Logic at its core. Sisters was a great show. It defined a lot of the late 80s. I'm sure, Ronnie, you're in your 30s. That's understandable. But you may want to check it out when you get some time on Peacock.

Delete all of this. Ronnie, can we get your age and where you're calling from? Yeah, I'm 34. I'm Canadian originally, but I live in London now. Stop where I'm calling from. London is cool.

Anywhere near Alaska in Canada? East or West? I was like, yes, actually. I was born and raised in the Yukon, which is right next door to Alaska. Oh, perfect. Wow. That's very random that you've asked that. Yeah, it is real.

Well, not random for us. Not for us. We're in Alaska group. You are here with my brother, Danny Jay, and you are here with the great Dakota Fanny. True story. Oh, nice. My roster today. Yeah, you got a nice roster here.

And all of us spend some time up in Alaska. And our big takeaways, we love it. But it's different up there. Your thoughts, Ronnie? It is different up there. I moved away when I was 13. That's how it was too different. It's different, right?

We moved to British Columbia. Yeah, it was. It was very isolated and weird. Weird. Wild living. Feels twin-pexy. Yeah, wild. Wild life.

Wild. Yeah. All right. All right, Ronnie. You get it. We get it. We had all just chat about Alaska for a while here if we wanted to. Okay.

What's going on today? No one's asking you, Dan. We want Dakota to talk more. You last. Absolutely. But because you refused to let her speak, I had to, like, open the door. I'm like, sure, okay, let's talk about Alaska. Dakota, what's up?

No, he said, let's stop talking about Alaska. Thank you, Dakota. I saw him say that. I felt bad for you because obviously you guys shot a movie. in Alaska. You've got a lot in common with Ronnie. But Ronnie doesn't give a shit. No, thank you, Dakota.

Wow. Wow. At two, Dakota. Sorry, Dan. So, Ronnie, back to you. Give us the setup. Give us the problem. What's happening and take your time.

And if we interrupt, just get back in it and steamroll. All right. Sounds good. Okay. All right. So my husband has been doing something for a while that has been really winding me up.

and I don't know how to fix it, so hopefully you guys can help. Basically, Brian, my husband, he's optimistically setting his alarm clock to go off at 5 a.m. every morning in the hopes he'll get to work early, beat traffic, be productive, that sort of thing. But he rarely gets up at that time and instead he's hitting the snooze button on the clock for an hour to every time it goes off. So this obviously fills me with rage because he will carry on sleeping through while hitting snooze. but the clock is going off like seven minutes from 5 a.m.

This is a nightmare. And that's keeping me awake. Nightmare. Sometimes the whole time until my own alarm goes off at seven. But you've been all fucked up since 5 a.m. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I'm getting two hours less sleep than I need.

Sleepy as hell at my own job for pretty much the whole day. So the question is, how do I curb his 5 a.m. alarm clock habit? And I have told him several times. He's very apologetic, but it hasn't been enough. to get into sort of, yeah. What does that even mean? I do this. I do this.

You do this. You do this. True confessions. Oh, no. Dakota, what are you talking about? Here we go. I do this. It's not 5 a.m.

but optimistic alarm setting. I do, I do do this. And every single morning, it doesn't work. Oh, no. And so I feel, I get it. I get it from his perspective. He wants it to work so badly. Yeah.

Okay. That's it. That's it. I've got to, we have Dakota, you are Brian. Stan, shut up. She's talking. She is Brian. She's in his head.

We have a gift. I know. I fear that it's pretty black and white that he just has to stop doing it, but it's really hard. Because I know what he's going through. How do we get him to? We're going to get him to for sure. This is insane. I've told it.

Exactly. Yeah. And what is his reasoning for continuing? to do it. Beat traffic. I mean, the last few years he's gone into a management position.

I think he's just very keen, wants to get to work early, get stuff done. And, you know, he's very optimistic, but rarely, I mean,

he does sometimes get up at that time, but usually it's a snooze situation for a good amount of time. How many snoozes? From five to seven? Oh, it could be, like,

it literally could be for like an hour or two. Like, he will sometimes not get up till seven. That's like 14. 16 snoozes. Yeah, exactly. Every, I swear it's like every seven, eight, nine minutes, something like that. Dakota, how many snoozes for you?

Oh, God. I mean, it could be, it's usually from like eight to nine, 30 for me. Wow. That's not too bad. That's like a decent time. Yeah. If I don't have anything, let me tell you, if I don't have anything real to do, if for work, for, if I know that I have, I have, you know, something in the morning.

I'm away. I'm never late. You know, I'm always early. I'm always on time. But this is just a day where, like, I got Pilates at 10. And that's it. So, you know, I could wake up at 9.30. I could wake up at 9.30 for Pilates at 10 down the street.

I could. Yeah. I'd like to wake up, make my coffee, not be rushed with, you know, feeding my dog, taking my dog out. I'd like to do that, but the reality is I don't have to do that, and I know it. So I snooze until 9.30. Now, I got a real question for you, Dakota, and this might help Ronnie with your husband. How many times a week, and I'm not including when you're working. Yeah.

How often are you doing this snooze routine for your 10 o'clock Pilates? Are you a once a week or is this every day? It's almost every day. This is fucking madness. Are you kidding? How about it? This is wild that you're on this call. Because I can't relate to this at all.

I know. I know. The other thing, I wonder if this is a factor for Brian because it's also a factor for me, that I like the feeling of waking up and the alarm going off and knowing that it's not quite time to get up yet. That it's okay if I go back to sleep.

Does that make sense? No, but you are Brian. And this is the only way we will crack. I'm Brian, I know. But I know how annoying it is. I really do. But I get what you're saying. It does make sense to me.

I remember when I'd wake up for school and then all of a sudden you find out it's a snow day. Or waking up at like 4 a.m. and being like, what time is it and being like, oh, I don't have to wake up to late. Oh, my God, it's the best. I'll tell you the nightmare of that. And this has been happening to me with this New York. York job where I'm going back and forth too much is my times are all weird. So I'll be like, all right, I have a 5.30 a.m. wake up. It's 11 p.m. now. If I fall asleep now, you can get

enough sleep. I fall asleep. I go like, I fell asleep perfectly. I wake up. I feel fully rested. It's 115 in the morning. Oh, no. Right. I'm like, might as well have coffee, goofy, because you're up. Right. And that's a nightmare. So I hear it. I can do this because I'm single. So I'm not bottom anybody. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Brian is not. That's cool. That's some rock and roll James Dean vibes. Right? I can second set my... I can snooze my alarm all fucking money if I want to.

There's nobody there to tell me anything. But Brian's not. So I think this is a... I think it's full stop. He just has to stop doing it. How? I don't know. Ronnie, how about this? How about this? I got a pitch. Yeah. Set your alarm for 1 a.m. and snooze from... Take one day where you're You're going to be really tired. You were, okay.

Oh, yeah. Right? Like, let's go to Crazy Town. I was going to start setting yours at 4. I was going to start setting yours at 4 a.m. And do like a week of, and he's like, what's four? And you're like, hello, this is what's been going on. I'm optimistic.

Yeah, exactly. I could suffer for a few days. Yeah, a few days. You're suffering right now too much. If you start sitting the alarm for literally 1 a.m. and you snooze from 1 until, seven, he's going to look at you like you're insane. Then you go, why don't you look in the mirror, babe, this is what I live with.

You want five to seven? No, that's a good one. I want one to five. Or we both just set the alarm for when we need to wake up like civilized people. I'm 100% on something here. Okay. I think we could round about this a lot. I think you're going to have to bite the bullet.

And I think you've got to spend a week of your life really tired. And I think tonight set your alarm for one. am and every 15 minutes snooze and when he gets mad at you go how could you get mad at this but i think you should do four i think you should do less extreme than one i think you should do four and just start an hour early i could work up to one if it's not if it's not happening you could work back you could work back an hour okay that makes but i say start at four how about start at three and here's why cheese but i'm just pitching. Here's why.

Because he falls right back asleep from five to seven and sleeps great. So four to seven, he'll be like this. What happened? And then Ronnie's going to be insane. True. We need to get him. I do worry. I do worry. It won't even wake you. Okay. I got a different pitch. Go.

So tomorrow, it's 5 a.m. right? Oh, now, I'm so sorry. You pivot. instead of just sort of like, oh, you're so annoying, Brian. You say, and you're awake, and you force him to get up.

I like this. You toss the covers up early. Right? Dan, I was just about to say it's some simple. Lights on. Yes. We're up. Or how about even this?

How about this? Rather than lights on, we're up, have a glass of water, 5 a.m. right in his face. Yes. Yeah. Then you go back to bed. Right.

Right. You need two hours of sleep. Throw water on him, kick his ass go. Get out of the room. I'm going back to bed. You're welcome. You're welcome. Make his dreams come true.

You can't make a suggestion off your glass of water and you just pivot to a spray bottle so it's not so messy in the bed. I mean, you know, that's good. Or how about this, running? And I'm not making a joke here, an air horn. Mm-hmm. So five-in, it goes, beep, beep, you turn it off. You get one of those little air horns that fit in your hand. Put it right by his face and just got.

he will pop out of bed. Yeah. And then you go like... If I'm not sleeping, he's not sleeping. Yes. And then once he jumps, he's like, Jesus fucking Christ, you go, you made it, it's five. Good night.

I'm going back to bed till seven because I'm not a maniac. With the blanket over yourself, let him live in hell. And then he'll go, I'm so tired. Why? Because you set an alarm two hours early. Yeah. I think that's the best idea. I got him up the time he wanted to get up.

He said he should be thanking me, really. What you got to do is he's writing a check and you got to cash it for him. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Now that's a good idea. Ronnie, tell us what you're going to do because this is it. But how are you going to do it tonight? I've got a few different options.

And I do have to do it tonight because he will do this on a Saturday morning as well. Oh, that's rude. That's a true. He doesn't know what we do it? It's because he sets it. Well, it's not intentional. It's always there. So it will carry on on a Saturday as well.

No. So I will test this out. And I could start with, I could sort of work my way up. If the 1 a.m. or the 3 a.m. snooze thing that I'm doing isn't helping, then I could escalate into the more sort of dramatic wake-up situation. So, Ron, just to be clear. Wow.

But you're starting with the 1 a.m. You're not starting with the crazy 5 a.m. get them up. I'd flick that. I suppose, yeah. Yeah, I think so. To be fair, I don't think the one, I think he'll probably, he's quite a good sleeper, he probably wouldn't even wake up with the sneezes that I do for one

or three or whatever time. I could try it. If that's not working, go to the next step. Ronnie, abort that. Yeah. Okay, okay. Go direct. Get his ass up at 5 a.

I think get his ass up the first time it goes off. Get his ass off. I'll do it in the morning. But it's Saturday, so she's going to be testing this on a Saturday. That's really going to make a point. Perfect. Yes. Perfect.

Get your fucking ass up. I'll just do a big, I'll do a pint of water then by the bedside table. Just chuck it on him. And record it on your phone. Will you do it's a favor for real? Can you just turn the 5 a.m. alarm off on the weekend? Of course he can. Of course he can.

He doesn't want to. What's wrong with you, Brian? He's a nightmare, isn't he? Oh, Brian. Do we call him, Ryan? This is for real now. Yes. This is what you need to do tonight.

And I think it's a little extreme, but it will work. Yeah. A big cup of water at 5 a.m. Turn your phone on, record you throwing the water in his face. When he jumps up startled, go, congratulations. You're up. Or you jump it on his face. You look right in the phone and say, we're here to help, Brian.

Or when you throw his face up to the camera and go, It's salmon season, bitch, I'm the grizzly. Did you say, it's salmon season? Yes, it's salmon season, bitch, and I'm the grizzly. Get out of the river. Okay. This is how we do it in the Yukon. This is how we do it in the Yukon.

You tied it right back around to the, yeah. You tied it right back around to the Alaska vibe. I like that. This is how we do it in the Yukon. It's salmon season. You're a salmon. I'm a grizzly. Get out of the river.

It's 5 a.m. Okay, right, I will do it. But more than anything, Ronnie, I really want, if you're willing to, film this interaction because I want to see how he reacts to being woken up at 5 a.m. because his alarm went off. And you know, I'm a light sleeper too, Ronnie, and it takes me forever to fall asleep. Okay. So let him know this is how it feels when that alarm goes off for you. you're not doing anything wrong.

I think that's an extreme. Yeah. You're going to do it tonight? Could it end in divorce? No. We'll see. No. Might be fine.

Maybe you with him. Right. If he keeps doing this. Yes, true. The path you're on. All right. I'm willing to risk it anyway. Love it.

Great. And so record it tonight and follow up. Will you follow up with us next week? And will you just send us the video of the wake up? And we'll just post that at the end of the episode. episode? I will. Really fast, Ronnie.

Will you practice what you're going to say? Let's do. Danny, will you be Brian? Yeah. The alarm's going to go off. Well, can Dakota play the part of the alarm,

please? Sure. I don't know if she wants. Thank you. You're willing to? Thank you. Yeah. Oh, I just remember

when you asked her to do something you got a hard pass, I asked the great Dakota fanning actor. The actor got a yes. Just noting that for the record. And three, two

one cut cut no bring it that was weird what

what what's just what's supposed to sound like it's not supposed to sound like a baby duck going maybe he has the duck squacking

okay so then we need to know that beforehand that's such a bold choice let's just do alarm doing this. What's a lot? Not quack.

That's what I did. That's what I did. All right. Maybe I heard it wrong. Let's try again. Okay. Good. And three, two, and action.

Eh, eh, eh. Sorry, baby. Sorry, babe. Oh, my God. My God, what is this? Is it? Dan, we obviously want Ronnie to talk here. We don't want a monologue from Brian about Bullocks, right?

It's fair. The whole idea was we were here what she is. Good note. Good note. First of all, you started snoring so that we almost didn't hear the alarm. Good note, good note. You were doing a lot of scene work with the Bullocks madness. Let's go one more time and remember, once the water comes, it's all the Ronnie show.

That's a good point. Candidly, I don't remember it. I was so in character. I wasn't aware of what was occurring. But I hear it. I hear it. Okay. Three, two, we're back.

Eh, eh, eh, eh. Huh. Blash. It's salmon season, bitch, and I'm the grizzly. I've never loved you more, Ronnie. I mean, I will say, Ronnie. It's weird. It's weird.

It's weird. It is weird. You suggested it. I know, but hearing it from his point of view, it's crazy. It is crazy work, yeah. Your wife throws water in your face. That's why the spray bottle idea might be better. Yeah.

I like that. Dakota, what got me as weird was that it's Sam's easy, bitch. Sure, but that was fully all you. That was a mistake. Yeah. Walk away. How about good morning, my love. Five a.m.

Let's get, maybe it's 5 a.m. Get up. Just all kind and loving optimism. You've done it again, you wonderfully keen 5 a.m. riser. Off to the races. But Dan, that's not how she talks, right? So am I, I'm throwing water in his face, and I'm saying it's time to get up, my love. Is that what we'd be?

I think so. I like that a lot more. Dakota? Your thoughts on that, what do you think? My thoughts are less on the water and more on the, like, lights are on, like, lights are on, lights are on, covers are off. This is how it feels every morning. Okay, like a very real, like, almost military.

Yes, this is what you're doing to me every single morning. Stop. Get up. Okay. Get up or don't. Okay. All right, Ronnie, are you interested in trying this? That's what I would do.

Wow, that's real. But this is over now. But this is it. This is today, it ends today. That's what I would do. If you're going to set your alarm, you're getting up every day at five. Yeah. And then if you don't, then I'm going to start setting.

Then you tell them what you're going to start doing. Oh, yeah. I would tell them systematically what I'm going to start doing. And then, Ronnie, you notice Dakota's tone on this? Yeah. Yeah. You notice how quickly Dan and I agreed and we dropped all the other stuff? And whatever you want, Dakota.

Yeah. Absolutely. Dan was all of a sudden awake. Yeah. He had stopped the accent. I'm still intimidated. I'm no longer pitching about grizzlies and salmon. I'm getting up at five.

Whatever she wants. Your tone is more a little bit quieter. I know. Maybe that's not you, Ronnie, but I think you have to inhabit that tone. You need that tone for a couple mornings at least. She's got to know you mean business here. You got it in your... You got it.

Come on, Ronnie. You got it. Channel what Dakota did. Let's try it once. and let's see if we can nail it and if we can we're hanging up the phone if we can't we got to fix it so what am I um there's so what's the thing

there's no water left now I'm just getting up to turn the light on and using a calm I wouldn't say calm I would say not calm I would at 5 a.m. It goes off you wake up he snoozes I would say lights on covers off stop setting your alarm for this

time unless you're going to get up you're fucking with me every morning and I'm over it enough and if you don't, then I'm going to start setting my alarm for four. I'm going to start setting my alarm for three. I'm going to start pouring water on you. Tell him, you know, that's what I would do. That's what I would do.

Okay. I'm done. All right, let's see what happens. If this is bothering you, if it's really, if it's an issue to get that serious about, which it sounds like it is, I think you have, you have to get a little aggressive. Do you have this in you? Yes, of course, I do. Oh, great.

Well, then good. She's got it. Ready in three? Brian, you're back to sleep. You're dreaming? Two. Well, good night, me love. I can't wait to be optimistic at 5 a.m.

Can't wait. There we are. Eh, eh, eh, click. Right, Brian, get up. We're out of bed. Lights on. You've got to get better at this. We can't be having the 5 a.m. alarm.

If you carry on with it, I'm throwing water in your face. What? And we're all getting up. 5 a.m. every morning, and I'm going to kick your ass if you don't stop. I got, I got an idea. I got an idea. I'm going to be honest here, Ronnie. I thought that was okay. Okay, fair enough. Can we try something? It's, could it be a mistake? Yes.

Okay. Can we have Dakota do it one more time, record it, and send you the voice note. And when you wake home, just play Dakota. Yeah, by the way. Listen, bitch. Dakota, will you say at the beginning? Hey, this is Dakota. And then let him know. Ronnie's over your shit.

Get up. Wait, hold on. That's great. What is his real name, Brian? It is, yeah. Okay, so let's do that. And then when he wakes up, then no matter what, it's going to be funny for him, too.

We don't want to break up. We don't want to fight. We want him. No, we want resolution. I wanted to realize you're under duress. But mention Dakota in there, anywhere in there. Every day at 5am, he's getting this message unless he stops. And that's the new alarm.

It's Dakota Fanning is your new alarm. That's good. That's good. And we will send you just this clip so you could do it. Is this something you would do tonight? Okay. Yeah. All right.

So let's try that in three. Good night, my life. Good night, my love. See in the morning. Beep, me, me, me. Click. Brian, this is Dakota Fanning. Wake the fuck up at five or stop setting your alarm for five.

Ronnie is over this shit and it's a problem. Wake up at five or set your alarm for seven. Thank you. Pretty good. Ronnie, your thoughts. That was good. That was it. That's clean.

I like the anger. I can feel the anger. I really appreciate it. I think you got to mean business. And you know what we could do? Exactly. Natalie, when we sent it,

could you put that on a loop so it just keeps going over and over? And I said thank you at the end. Like 20 minutes, just looped. Yeah. 20 minutes. Yeah. And do you want me to try and film this again as well?

Oh, yeah. Well, that's going to be harder because... See the reaction. Yeah, if you can. Could we also maybe, Natalie, at the end of this episode, just do a loop of Dakota saying that for like three minutes. So, Ronnie, will you try this tonight and let us know how it goes? Because I actually think it's going to work.

I think it's going to work, too. I think it's going to work. I don't think it's going to be a fight. I don't think it's a problem with the relationship. He's going to be so weirded out. He's going to go like, huh? He's a good sport.

How does Dakota Fanon, you know I do this weird thing? Promise me you'll never tell him about the podcast. So he just goes like, the fuck Dakota Fanning's mad at me for setting an alarm in live. Yeah, that will be. We'll get up.

That would be a wild one. We're here to help running. Yeah. Thank you for the call. That's a great one. Thanks, Ronnie. Yeah, thanks a much, guys. All right, chat soon.

Bye. Talio. Tallyo. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hey, how are you? Doing well.

How are you? Great. What's your name? My name's Bethany. Hey, Bethany. Where are you from? I'm from Chicago. Oh, yes, you are, Beth.

Bethany, greatest city of the world. Already, it's an old run. My girl, Bethany, loving it. Where in Chicago are you, Bethany? I'm in Bucktown. Yes. We're the two people live in Bucktown. We love Bucktown.

Yes, we do. Unfortunately, my brother in the last six months has started saying Q-E-W-L a lot. I don't know. He got an office in the city, and the whole call was. I'm calling from Fulton Market. It's such a Kewel neighborhood. I'm so glad. How's the 606 Trail?

It's so cute in back town. Bethany, Chicago, in a Kewel neighborhood. How old are you? What's your zone here? I'm 32. 32. And what's your sign? My sign.

I'm a leet. Leo. And what does that mean to you, Bethany? I think most people will say Leo's are self-centered and dramatic. Wow. So I'd like to say. That's not a great one. Maybe not me. I'm a Leo. Most people say we're psychopathing really assholes and thieves.

Never heard one so negative. Wow. We don't own it. That's great, Bethany. It's always positive stuff. We're compassionate. We're good partners. That was wild. I like that he said that. Me too.

But someone's gaslighting you. Whoever said, that's what a Leo is. That's what you're calling about. I think it was him. He's the problem. Yeah. So you got Danny Jay here, my brother. And then you've got new friend and co-star in a movie I'm very excited about Miss Dakota fanning. Hey, Bethany.

Wow. Hello. So, Bethany, you're in a very good spot here. just really solved a problem before. I think we did an A-plus job. So what do you got? What's the problem today? Yeah. So now that I'm thinking about it, this might lean into the dramatic title of being a Leo. So as I am thinking about it. So I am obsessed with a restaurant in Bucktown kind of close to me. I've been eating there for years, and they have one thing on their menu that you can't get delivered or take out. And it's their French onion soup.

And I've, you know, I've been over it. It's fine. But in like March of this year, I had COVID. And I was stuck at home and all I wanted was the soup. So I sent my lovely husband to go there to see if he could take it out. and they said to him, you can't take this away because it compromises the integrity of the soup.

I hate this so much. Bethany, I hate this. Yeah, me too. I hate when a restaurant does stupid shit like this. I love it. And it was so good. It's so good. Because you're so cute?

Because a cool restaurant has high standards. And I think I know the restaurant, Bethany, and I am on their side. but I want to hear your problem. She already told us her problem. Well, my problem now, so at first I got over it, I was able to say that's fine. I was also a strong believer that soup is to be eaten like on your couch, not at a restaurant. It could be eaten anywhere you want.

You could buy it and throw it in a dumpster. It's yours. It's your soup. Once you buy something, you could literally buy it, go to a bowling alley where all the disgusting shoes are and just pour it in your mouth if that's what you want to do it's not up to them they've sold it Jake it's not a chef

Dakota where do you all really fast hold on I'm with you right now I'm with you okay oh look I can't wait to see the new I'm with you it's like enough like if you want something the way that you want it where you want it it's like we got it you've had the soup at the restaurant how many times

you just want it at home like please Who cares? Who cares? Got it. I don't want to eat it. By the way, by the way, this is not some specialty that has never been done anywhere else in the world. It's a French onion soup. It's pretty standard.

In Bucktown. But it's in their French onion soup and it compromises. Hey, Bethany, do they do something different with the French onion soup? I mean, it's better than any French onion soup I've ever had. That's why this is so important to me. Right. So I don't think it's that unique, but it's so good. It's awesome.

Okay. But you can get. They're basically admitting their sandwiches are dog shit. They're not. They're not on the call, Jake. Take it easy on this restaurant. The rest of their food, dog shit, why? Eat it wherever you want.

Go eat it in there. There's a dog shelter down the street. Go eat it in there with those dogs. Why? It's dog shit. Our French onion soup, we have ruled for it. No, it's because. I'm definitely not getting a chicken salad sandwich from that dump.

All right. Let's see what Bethany's problem is. Okay, you continue, Bethany. Take it easy, Jake. I totally accepted it, moved on with my life. But now we're approaching suit season. I'm also now five months pregnant. Congrats.

And thank you. I'm expecting at the end of February. Nice. And I am very lucky and that things have gone smoothly and everything like that. But I'm still miserable. I work out of the house. I don't work from home. And literally all I want to do is come home and get the suit.

And so now I care a lot more and I really want to be able to take it home. And my husband has been ineffective in convincing them to let us take it home. How high up the chain have you gone. You've called the right place. You've called the right place. And baseball every once in a while

if you got a good curveball, you got a good fastball, but it's not the best curveball fastball. Yeah, a little bit of funk to it, right? You can on the brim of your hat have a little bit of something, a little bit of Vaseline, you throw on a corner. And it's going to really make that. ball curve. So I think, yeah, you're pregnant. Well, there's a lot of pregnant people.

There's pregnant people everywhere. There's not a lot of people who are having a very difficult pregnancy and they have bed rest and they can't get out of bed for medical reasons and we don't know how it's all going to turn out for the mother. Oh, geez, this is dark. Nope. Nope. Pull it back, bro. Pull it back. Dakota, your thoughts. Okay, I have another idea if that doesn't work. I say that you sit down. He sits down like he's going to eat it there. You bring your own to-go containers. I love this.

And then... This is great. Like kind of disassemble the French, you know, like lift the cheese. You know what I mean? And put it in a go box. Wrap it up. And then go. And go.

Hey, Bethany. That's incredible. What do you think about... What do you think about, I'll take one French onion soup, a table for one. Great, here you go. As soon as he gets it, you've got all, you've got a metal, I mean, like a glass bowl. It's all set up.

He does it, and he goes, thank you so much. Just the bill, please. That is technical. You're allowed to take your food to go. Yeah. It is a loophole. Feels weird. Big loophole.

Well, but hey, you got to, you know. Yeah, feels certainly. And then if they go, hey, could you not, you know what it feels like? What? You guys created a weird rule and I have to go by it. I'm bringing this home to my pregnant wife. Yes. Okay.

Will your husband do that, Bethany? The only thing I'm afraid of is he's really gotten into this whole like dad tax with food already, even though the baby's not even here yet. And he eats so much of my food, it drives me crazy. And I don't trust him not to eat too much of it before he puts it in the bowl. No, I'm saying he doesn't eat any of it. Nothing. It arrives.

No, it arrives. And then you put it in the to-go container. 100%. But she doesn't trust him to do it. He's going to eat it. Okay, I got a crazy pitch. Okay, order two. Who?

Order two. I got a pitch. I got a pitch here. That's close. Dan, Danny J. is a Chicago guy. Yeah. He can go. Oh, Dan will talk to the owner.

Dan, going up there, I know you are. But we might be able to take this to a real big level. It's not a call for everybody, but it happens to be Chicago. Danny Jay happens to be here. Dan is a talker. There is a world where we get to this situation and we get to an ending. I was going to pitch that, less that. I mean, I'm happy to go directly, and we can go tonight, if you'd like.

But my pitch was, if you're talking to the bartender, right, bartender's got to do what he's got to do. It sounds like you're regular that you've been here often. You have a relationship with the restaurant, right? Yeah. And so it sounds like, and for whatever reason, and I'm sure you've met the owner at some point. I don't know if I have. Well, we're going to change that. My husband would know.

Because somebody with more authority than the bartender can just say, of course, for you, Bethany, we're in the hospitality industry. We take care of people. But Dan, here's what we're looking for more of. Here it comes. Less Bethany getting involved and Moeller, Danny J. AKA Crocko's son, going in there. finessing it trying to record some of it

and getting him to say for Bethany and for you Danny any if you give me the name of the restaurant I'll be there and the next I can go right I don't think they're open in the afternoon but I will go in

find the owner after work today yeah hey Bethany I got to ask you a real question right now and I can vouch for this guy because he's my older brother he's a safe guy there's no stuff to be scared of

do you want french onion soup tonight okay I'm actually out of town until Sunday until Sunday all right but we could put you guys on a text thing or an email and Dan can go and the rubber

can meet the road Dan you can record it as you're doing it with your phone yes and see if we can get to the bottom of this with a pass for her while pregnant. Yes. That French onion soup is picked up by the husband. He can't touch it because his fucking little fingers

are going to get in that cheese. How close are you? How many steps do you live from the restaurant? Are you in the same block or really nearby? Yeah, we're really nearby. Probably like four blocks. Okay, so you could walk it on a nice day? Yeah.

Okay. And I bet you're in the 32nd ward. Are you near like, you know, Damon? Yes. Okay. So you're probably in the 32nd ward. I think this is, you are two steps from having a piping hot bowl of French onion soup in that pregnant body to get fueled up. Because you deserve it, Bethany.

We're going to take care of this for you. Can we do something really fast? This is going to work. Yeah. He's, Danny J. has a guy. Dakota, are you comfortable playing? the owner of the restaurant where you believe just for this soup, you don't do it. That the integrity of the soup is too important.

Yeah. It's just a fun thing that the restaurant does, but also the answer is no. Like, it's a policy. It's a stupid policy, but we don't serve ketchup here. Why? Because we're adorable. Yeah. Right.

It's one of those places. Dan, however you did it, you got a phone call with Dakota, the owner of this place. And is Dakota playing the owner or is Bethany playing the owner? Yes. I am. Awesome. Bring. Hi, is this Dakota fanning of La Franchion?

Super. It is. Pleasure to meet you, Dan Johnson. I've got a great opportunity for you, and I'm hoping we can solve a problem for a delightful, long-term client who, who is in fact expecting. She raves endlessly about your French onion soup, but here's the only issue,

and I'm hoping we can get there together today. She's not allowed to take it home. So I'm asking you, Ms. Fanning, would you be open to an exception to allow this wonderful woman three blocks away, maybe a block and a half, to get that French onion soup to go, and enjoy it at home while she's pregnant

instead of forcing her. I wish, but chef doesn't allow that. It changes the integrity of the suit. I believe it. I believe it. And I hear that. My only question is, I notice that you haven't had

your inspection recently. Oh. A little blackmail. Papa Pia, Papa Pia. And I love this restaurant. And I love keeping it open and serving customers, especially Bethany. And that's, I think, an easy ass, my friend. Miss Fannie, your thoughts.

Is that true? And I'm going back to me. I'm going back to real Miss Fanny. No, it's not true. We just made that up. Oh, I don't know. Maybe Dan walked by. He claims to know this restaurant.

A little bit of homework. I agree. A little bit of homework. With the district, all that, he did seem like he knew what he was talking about. No, it's total bullshit. 100% bullshit. Yeah, I've not identified the restaurant yet. You know what?

That's so not true. And I'm sorry, but I got to keep the integrity of the food at my restaurant. I got to go with what chef asks that. No takeout for the French onion soup. Okay. I agree with Dakota. on this one also after threatening me. Yeah, exactly.

Fuck you. Click. Okay. Click. Okay. By the way, Bethany, you're banned. Okay. Plan B, baby.

Because things just went from... I'm telling you, you've got to go in and put the soup in your own-to-go container while making eye contact with whoever told you that you can't do that. That's what I would do. So, right now, so Bethany, we're going to go back to you for a second here. So you got Dakota's pitch. have a container, direct eye contact, transfer it, fuck your rules.

There's a loophole, I could win it. You have my original pitch. Keep in mind, Dakota, he said it was so dark, and then he tried to blackmail the person. All right. He tried to, essentially. So mine was, you have your husband. You have your husband going.

You got, like, crazy. You got turned around a bit. That's true. That's true. I'm not proud of it. So my, my, my. That was, Dan, that was wild. It wasn't my greatest.

That's true. That's true. I thought it was going to get, yes, out of Dakota. She gave you such an easy habit. She was like, we don't do that. And you go, oh, I'll shut me down. I know. She's like, no, like, you said no to that?

That hurt my felix. You overreacted in such a way that was shot. Yeah, it was wrong. It was wrong. I got to walk that back. Okay, so you got Dakota's pitch, Bethany, which I think is a very good one, and that is do the transference. Up to you, up to your husband if he wants to make the weird eye contact she pitched it. I would say don't make the weird eye contact.

That just seems weird, but totally up to the player playing the game. Mine is, the pregnancy is kind of brutal, and you could really appreciate the help in this very specific situation. or we bring in Danny Jay he does some legwork as we saw it could go really well or it could go sideways but I will tell you

he's a man that delivers in the clutch and I don't think he would do that in real life I think he got thrown by doing his scene with Dakota and thought I'm going to steamroll at the beginning and she's going to say yes and when she didn't he panicked well it's intimidating right it was like a brick wall I had nothing

yeah I had nothing I will say I do believe that Dan will get that soup to go. I do too. No question. But I will say this also, Beth, you have three great pitches. What are you going to do? They are good. I like Dakota's idea of him getting the two soup.

I think that's the very important part is doing the two soup. I'm a little worried how he would handle if you were to get caught. doing that. There's no cut. You can't, they can't tell you. They cannot tell you that you cannot bring your own

glassware that you, they can't tell you that. Bethany, are you willing to do it? If there were to be one of us, it would definitely, I'm the one that would do something like that more often. That is the right question. Will you do it?

It defeats the purpose of having it delivered to you on the couch, which I understand. But if you're already out and making your way home and going, you could, you know, you could. That's right. But the only other piece of my pitch is that I'm delighted to do it, but I think you can do it too. So the pitch is not to ask the bartender, but to say, hey, can I find the owner? Can I speak with the owner? I wanted to pay my compliments. I've gone here for a year and a half.

I just wanted to meet the owner. And call and just say how wonderful the restaurant is, how great it is, how meaningful it is. Oh, and by the way, do you think I might be able to get some of the French onion soup to go? I'm pregnant, blah, blah, blah. So that's the... Because if not, I need to ask you, one with the last time you got an inspection.

So, Bethany. Like a healthy friendly... Go on, Jesse. Like a friendly bribe, like a friendly bribe, like a bottle of whiskey for the kitchen or like... There you go. Like, I love you. I love your food. We've been coming here.

I just wanted to thank you. And also, like, by the way, but that could be the husband. Like, whatever. Yes. Is there any way my wife is pregnant at home? She's going to be pregnant through February. Is there any way we could do this? And then all of a sudden you go in your backpack and there's a nice bottle of something.

And you go like, just for you guys. Just with a big smile. I'm playing a game here. But I need this. Is there a way you can help me? So Bethany, we got to go to you now. We got to find the. end of this, what the hell are you going to do?

I think the bribe is a nice addition to keeping it on my husband so that he does it. I don't have to do the work. And it feels like the long-term payoff where once he gets in, I can do this. It's in forever. More than once. Yes. At least until February. Yeah.

Agreed. And then by February, you're in a routine. They're not going to go, was the baby born? You're still pregnant in three years. who's keeping track I'm pregnant again who gives a shit but is this something

you're going to actually do or is he going to actually do yeah he's been pretty devoted to figuring out a solution so I think he will give it a try will you have him try will you get some French onion soup this weekend

he's out of town yes oh I'm sorry you're back on Sunday can you do it next week yes okay great And then follow up with us because I'm, I think this is going to work. And if it doesn't work, you know what we're going to do plan B?

Send in the big cat. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, yeah. We're going to send in the bro. Yeah, yeah. I got to try the soup. It's going to come in and close this game. Yeah.

I got to try the soup. This is going to be great. It seems like a really cool restaurant. Stop it. So follow up with us and Dakota. Thank you for doing the show for the first time. And we will be doing it again. Yes, I can't wait.

So fun. But I can't. The movie is so good. I'm so excited to do the whole press run with you. I think we're going to have a ton of fun. Me too. We're going to have a huge fun. I can't wait, guys.

It's going to be great. Goodbye, Bethany. Follow up. Bye, Bethany. Bye, Beth, Beth, thank you. Brian. This is Dakota Fanning. Wake the fuck up at 5 or stop setting your alarm for 5.

Ronnie is over this shit and it's a problem. Wake up at 5 or set your alarm for 7. Thank you. Brian, this is Dakota Fanning. Wake the fuck up at 5 or stop setting your alarm for 5. Ronnie is over this shit and it's a problem. Wake up at 5 or set your alarm for 7. Thank you.

Brian, this is Dakota Fanning. wake the fuck up at 5 or stop setting your alarm for 5. Ronnie is over this shit and it's a problem. Wake up at 5 or set your alarm for 7. Thank you. Brian, this is Dakota Fanning. Wake the fuck up at 5 or stop setting your alarm for 5. Ronnie is over this shit and it's a problem.

Wake up at 5 or set your alarm for 7. Thank you. We're here to help us. hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at Helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of we're here to help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod

to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. Themes song by Oliver Raleigh, Cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to garethrethrenolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only,

and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod. Hi, I'm Nicole Byer. Hi, I'm Sashir Zameda. And this is the podcast, Best Friends. And we're here at HeadGum.

So this is just a podcast where we just talk. Yeah. We're best friends. Yeah. We talk. And then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries. So audience members can ask questions about friendships and we can answer them to the best of our abilities. Yes.

We are professional friends. We are professional friends. Subscribe to Best Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, PocketCast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday. That's the middle of a work week. I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing. You were.

I'm really sorry. I felt the support. I was so, okay. I was trying to be supportive. Yeah. But I was like, I don't know, reading seems pretty hard right now. It's a lot. I think you did good.

Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you.