We're Here to Help - 250: Dog Danger on the Gator Walk & Irish Hello (with Ed Helms)

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

Jake and Gareth are joined by Guest Helper Ed Helms! Together, they teach a small community to embrace the local gators. Then, they help a caller's father gracefully exit his own parties.Listen to SNAFU with Ed Helms, a podcast about history’s greatest screw-ups — it’s part history lesson, part hangout pod, and part group therapy for humanity.See images from the episode here: https://www.heretohelppod.com/post/episode-250Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps plus fries and a medium soft drink for just $8. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Well, first of all, we got a great episode today. Yeah. Hilarious Ed Helms is going to join. But beforehand, we just want to.

wanted to jump on really quickly. To do an intro, into the intro. This is January 12th, which is a Monday. Obviously this weekend, it was a very big game. The Packers and the Bears play. Gareth, your thoughts. Jake, you know, as much as you and I, and maybe I'm trying to posture by saying that it doesn't matter to me

as much as it did, and it doesn't, it still matters to me. Yeah. It does. I woke up in the night. You did? Yeah, and I was like, what, how did, how? Yeah, you've also been saying off the record, you're ready for the head coach to be fired.

And I wasn't before that game. No, I was saying before, my fear is we're going to win, you're going to get fired, and then you're going to get horrible. Most of us, I think, thought keep the coach. Yeah. Before the game. Because we've had a lot of injury. Like, there's reasons why you'd say this has been a...

Parson's is out. So there's a reason why you would say, look, but that, it was so... No bad that you're like, you can't, you can't be rewarded. I got to tell you, and you and I have texted about this, but the way that Ben Johnson bullied him, the reason I've been so nice via text, it was almost hard to watch. He, I.

The handshake at the end to, I was like, you beat him. It's crazy. And it's very specific, obviously, to him and the background. But there's no backstory. No. That we know of. Well, but,

also they've both said, I thought that deep down McFleur when, you know, something happened, but McFleur does not seem like a bad guy. What is it? No, he doesn't. LaFloor. But he seems like, I've always said this to you. I don't think he's a great coach. And we've gone back and forth on this because obviously the Packers have been beating the bears.

I think he is the epitome of the go far mantra. Yes. He has been. But he's very, he's very, very better. If you look back, if you look back, again, they're like when we, we beat the, remember we had a bet when we did Rich Eisen's show. Yes. And it was the Packers demolished the Cowboys. Then the next week they were beating the 49ers.

Then they blew it. Right. Then this year, multiple times, up enough to win the game. Of course. What the Bears have been doing in the fourth quarter, the Packers have been doing the opposite. But I will say the Packers, uh, Cowboys. It's because the Cowboys are even bigger choke artists. But my big thing about the Packers forever is that they're kind of choke artists.

But they're always a well-built team. They remind me of almost like the Cardinals in baseball. The Packers are never going to be bad. The Lions might be terrible. The Vikings could be terrible. The Packers are a well-run organization, but there's something about them in big games that you're like, they're just not going to do it. The catches, they always have done it against the bears.

Yes. But I'm like, no, them against any team in the playoffs, they're going to fall apart. Them against the bears, I'm like, the first half, I'm like, of course, they're fucking world. They're not afraid of us. And this was the first game where the Packers were the Packers against the Bears, but the Bears weren't the Bears. I was in a group text with a couple of buddies from high school who, as soon as the third

quarter got going, I was saying, this is bad. We need to change everything very quickly or we're going to lose. And they said, whoa, buddy, getting dark for some reason. And I was, I go, I mean, I'd just flown back. So I was a little tired. So I was crabby. But I go, you know what? I don't need to be involved in this group text.

And I backed off and watched them devolve as the game went away. So in closing, a really good game. I will say this is just to the Bears community and the Chicago Bay. And Caleb Williams, who I DMed way too much. On the day of the game? Yep. And he does not write back a lot. He'll just do like a hard emoji or a thanks, bro.

And I am that guy who is two decades older going like, hey man, just great work. Keep it up. And he'll go, thank you. And really, I need to slow down. It is not reciprocated. And I got to chill. Doesn't matter.

No, you don't. And I would do the exact same thing. But Gareth, it's very clear. He's not interested in a friendship. Keep texting. You will be friends and I'd like to join. No, he's making it very clear. Hey, man, I'm trying to show respect because you're being nice.

You're a weird old guy and I'm going, cues received. I don't write for a couple weeks. We win a game and I go like, just to let you know, brother, you are clutch ice man. And then I'll send it and I'll go like, what a dork. Hey, can I tell you something? Let me tell you a little something right now. Stop it. You're in the fourth quarter and you're down in this friendship.

But guess what? You're the Caleb Williams of this relationship with Caleb Williams. You've got to come back in you. Unfortunately, LaFour. Everybody, enjoy the episode without further ado. First of all, how you doing, buddy? I'm pretty great. Good to see you.

Yeah. Great to see you. You know, somebody said it to me. My buddy Clay, we were talking about these podcasts and the numbers, and he said, could you imagine if you were doing a show at UCB and you had the kind of numbers at each episode how happy you'd be?

And I'm like, it's a great way of putting it. He's like, you're just back doing live shows. It's just in your closet. Yeah, but you're right. It's like doing a UCB show in a, in like Madison Square Garden. That's exactly. And you just go like, great. Yeah.

In your closet with a couple of friends, you go like, great. Now I get to see you. It's with Garret. but we would be doing this live for years at some theater. And then you go, it was great. 114 people were there. Yeah. Oh, I mean, I remember doing shows where I was like,

there are more people on stage than in the audience, like regularly. It was still fun. Yeah. I did stand-up comedy shows with that math. Which means there were zero people in the audience. I've been there. Oliver Raleigh and I did a two-man show in New York right at the beginning of the pit. To one guy.

literally nobody showed up. To Oliver. Oh, my God. The lighting guy said, do you guys want to keep going? We were really questioning ourselves, and we both said yes, and we gave it everything.

And afterwards, when we were covered in sweat, we were like, we learned a lot about ourselves. It's truly for nobody. I think we just like this a lot. Yeah. I remember some shows, like stand-up shows early on, where the crowd was so small that it was like, let's just get to know each other.

And you just wind up having a, just like a conversation with like some random person or two. This isn't crowdwork? I'm genuinely curious. Yeah. Where are you from? Yeah. Why are you here? What God, how did you end up here?

Yeah. How did I end up here? I don't have a joke after this, but where are you guys off from? What are you doing for the holidays? I did a show in New York once. I'm genuinely curious. Where are you from? Cincinnati.

Literally no comment. That's cool. I'm from Illinois. That's cool. I want to know more about Cincinnati. I'm not even looking for a punch. I am not trying to make fun. I don't want to roast you.

I just want to know more about Cincinnati. I can tell the woman you're with. You guys are physically weird together. And I don't even care. There's no joke. It's just a weird combo. I'm literally not making a joke. How'd you guys meet?

Your outfit is outrageous. And like there's so much material to be done about your outfit. I'm just curious where you got it. I want to know. why you're into it. Just drop the mic. Quite literally, why did you buy that? Not, it's a joke.

It looks bad. But why did you buy that? I think this show is, we're not doing a show. I'm just, I'm curious about you. There's not enough people here to call it a show. So we're just in a room together. Why are you two together?

That's a crazy match. And why are you wearing all turquoise? No joke. Nobody laughed. Sorry, my time means, feels comedic. I'm truly just curious. Yes. That's how bad certain shows get.

So here's what this one is, Ed. We're going to take some calls. Gareth and I don't know them either. And we're just going to see what happens. Oh, good. I'm glad that this, as Jake knows, when we worked together on a movie many years ago, I was very delighted by a phrase that Jake used very frequently,

which was, do you remember? Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Maybe you know it too, Gareth. If something comes up and just Jake's not into it or it's something that we're not, he's not going to like roll with or whether it's a creative suggestion or like dinner, I can't wait. Yeah.

Not for Jake. Not for Jake. N-F-J. And I adopted that in my own life. And I think I texted you a while back to tell you that sometimes someone will pitch something to me. And I'm like, you know what? I don't think I'm into that.

I don't want to do that. And my first thought is not, not for Ed. It's not for Jake. It's great to use it like that. And I will say to myself like, not for Jake. Not for Jake.

I don't think I'm going to do this. Not for Jake. I'm going to start using it. You felt a lot of not for Jake, but with Ed because on that movie, there were so many different creative energies and everybody was likable. There was not a person.

There was not a person there who I didn't like being around. I was like, I like this group. But there would just be certain vibes where I'm like, everybody have fun, that one's not for Jake. I'm happy to be in self-focused in the background. I can't attack that bit. That one's not for Jake, but there's another one. I'm happy to jump into.

Jake, we're still rolling. Stop saying not for Jake during the take. But I love the way Ed initiated this. Ed texted me a little bit ago and he goes, start doing a podcast. I don't know your thoughts on. podcast, it might not be for Jake. But if you want to do it, I'd love to add you, and I go, it's not only for Jake, but I got my

own and I would love you on it. He was like, let's do it. I was like, yeah, this era, podcasts are for Jake. Thank God, and thank God. We're all better for it. Are you at home doing yours, Ed? Is that your... No, I have an office.

You do. And then I have this little, like, studios kind of thing set up here. I love it. And what got you into the pod? We're going to do the calls really fast because they're here. I just want to know what podcasts are you excited? What are you doing? What did you get excited about?

How did you get into it? Well, like you guys, you cynical bastards, I just wanted a piece of the podcast. I wanted a piece of this podcast. Boy, Jake. I was like, it is for Jake. It's probably for Ed. And I, no, but I did. Like, I've always just been this kind of.

of like, you know, weird curiosity rabbit hole nerd. And I got into the, and history has always been a part of that. And so I was like, can I do it? Is there like a fun, cool podcast about history? And so for three seasons, we actually did this pretty hardcore podcast that's like highly produced history. And it's called Snafu. and it's about history's greatest screw-ups or biggest screw-ups.

And they're deep dives. Like seasons one through three are each season is about one thing. And it's kind of like, it's like documentary radio or like. Great. And it's, and I'm so insanely proud of it. It's a labor of love and it was a ton of work. Season four, I was like, how can I make this so easy. Make this a little bit easier.

Yeah. No accuracy. And so, yeah, no accuracy. And so I A-I'd myself. And that's no. Are we talking to AI Ed Helms? Yes, you're talking to AI and L. I'm so much more charming.

It's so good. For Jake. Right now, Ed Helms is on like 40 podcasts at the same time. Exactly. No, but I decided for season four that instead of like tons and tons of research, into one thing, I would do like a little bit less research into lots of things and then have guests on. And so I tell, I have a guest on it.

I tell the guest a sort of a story, basically, about an historical screw up. And then we riff and laugh and come up with hot takes about it. And it's been really fun. It's really cool. Not any less work, by the way. A much different work. It's still a ton of work. But, yeah, good times.

And I'm psych to have you on. It's going to be fun. I can't wait to do it. It's going to be really fun. So let's take a call. Let's see what happens. Ed. Thanks for joining.

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Code here to help to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Hello. Hello. Hi, can we get your name, please? Yes, sir. My name is Zach. Zach, and where are you calling from? I am calling from Wilmington, North Carolina.

Ooh, Wilmington, North Carolina. Zach, you are here with Gareth and I, and then an old friend of mine where I think we didn't, meet on tag, but we got to become friends on tag. Mr. Ed Helms is joining the pod, Zach. So you're in a good situation here, pal. Yeah. Yeah, no kidding. All right, so Zach from North Carolina, take it away. What do you got going on? All right. So set to stage just a little bit. We live in a neighborhood that connects to a pretty big river and has a lot of gaiters that migrate into the neighborhood ponds every year. So the ponds attract a lot of big gators. And then they have babies.

Yeah. Do you? I bet you do. Do you have one in your backyard? I can't remember if you said that or not. Not yet, my man, but I will soon. I hope I might have to get you one. My man.

Look, look at all slurter. Yeah, this is the weirdest. I don't even know what's happening, but I like it. This is a gator flirt? You're going to get me a baby gator, baby. What? Gator, babe. Excuse me.

Take us out of this weird. all you and I just put us ourselves in. So the big gators, they have babies every year in a lot of these ponds. And then they pawn hop. So you never know what gator you're going to run into where the baby's at. It's kind of like a bear and it's the cubs. You know, you see the babies. You know the mom's working somewhere.

Sorry, what? What was the term? So many questions. Gator hawk? No, no, no. I was talking and referring to a. bear, I think maybe. You think maybe.

Is it a great answer to my question. What are you going to say here, pal? What are you got, Helms? Well, is there, so is, sorry, just to back up for a second, hey, Zach, this is Ed. Are they, are the gators, like, are the gators fucking in your ponds or? Yeah, that's a good question. I don't, I don't know if they're doing it in the river. They don't go to a little motel, guys. They fucking, wild animals, don't have, like, sex huts. Okay.

The garage is just fucked in the jungle, man. They don't have like a special. The gait is right in the river. But you, but I'm, it sounds like you're, you get to know these gators or you have like, you're able to identify them because, like, to me, I would just be like, there's gators in my yard. I don't know who's who or which is which, but you sound like you're tracking where they're going and they're, they're pond hopping. Yeah.

So, yeah. The reason I can identify some of them. are because I take my boys fishing literally every day after school. And we go to a lot of the same ponds. So we can, we can identify certain ones. But there's so many of them and there's so many ponds. I believe it's like six miles of neighborhood. And there's probably 25 ponds within the neighborhood itself.

So, yeah, so they pawn hop. The dilemma is there's an old man that walks his dog every day. And so this happened. I'm going to say probably in about the April time frame, May time frame. So he walks his dog every day and he's telling everyone in the neighborhood that there's a 12-foot gator that is eating dogs. So his story keeps getting a little bit more elaborate every time you see him because there's trails all through it. We're fishing all the time. We're walking.

He's running into us daily. So the day that I first heard of the story, the event happened and he was showing. took him up because he couldn't find his dog. He thought it ran away. So he took his golf cart through the trails, found a gator that was eating something. He couldn't tell what it was. It looked like his dog. He got closer

to it, saw two black legs, white feet sticking out, which is very specific of its mouth and realized that it wasn't his dog. So obviously he was less concerned, but still concerned that there's a gator eating a dog. So after that,

he's going around, telling the story as a gator, eating a dog. So now people don't walk their dogs on the trails, that you're off seeing as many people out walking in general. We love to fish, but apparently... Hey, Zach, my man? Yeah.

Is this just a weird story or is this a quiz are going to end in a question? Because I got to tell you, I like the weird story. No, I can skip... As long as we're getting to an ending and I know, then don't slow down. I just want to make sure this ends in a question. Oh, you're going to do an ending.

And it's not just... Who's dog is it? Who's calling who here, guys? And we go, that had to be a question, brother. So the old guy walks around. There's a dog. He's eating an animal, but it's not the old man's dog. But these gators are making babies.

They pond hop. You take your sons fishing every day. Pretty cool. Do you ever feel threatened or like the gators might come after you guys while you're fishing or anything? A gate? Yeah, yeah, we do. Because my youngest son likes to put his head over a bridge to kind of see where the bats are at.

And there's been occasional a couple of times where the gators have literally almost been eye to eye with each other because it's hiding in under the trees and the moss. So yeah, we definitely have our scared moments. But I think they're okay. I just think you've just got to stay away with them. So my point is, and my question is, how can I determine if it's a lot of, this guy's telling the truth. I still,

we still don't know if he's telling the truth or not, because no one's really, other than all the stories from all the old people that like to check their checklist and tell you what not to do, they get to add this to the checklist of that there's dogs being eaten. Interesting.

And then how do we stop spreading fear to the neighbors that kind of like makes the peace in the neighborhood again? So I guess that those are my two questions in one. You guys want to see a picture of these gators? Yeah. Yeah, of course, Jake would like, can you send one frame to Jake? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.

Jesus Christ. Wow. And that's your porch, Zach? So that's a friend of ours backyard that is really close to our house that has a pond right in the backyard. Is that a gator? Yeah, those look like crocodiles. It's a big gator. We've been told about many people that there's not crocodiles, but I'm,

I mean, that looks like a rock. I think. Well, you know, I don't know. Is there, is there, do you know of anyone else in, in your vicinity, in your community that has, that has either had a scary encounter with an alligator or has lost a pet to an alligator? No, so that's the thing. That's why I'm skeptical. But again, there's no proof whether it's not, you know, there hasn't been an eight. HOA letter sent out, which I thought would have been maybe the first thing.

But again, they've had these things here for years. So like, does it change? Sorry. No, you go ahead. Like, would it, would it change your behavior towards the alligators to know that he, that the alligators had or hadn't eaten this old man's dog? Yeah. I think, one, I wouldn't bring my dog around anymore.

And then, two, I probably wouldn't fish as much in the bonds. So this is an interesting one, Zach, because you got a bunch of gators. Why are you, you have a little accent at the end on the gators part, and I just want to flag it and be careful. Don't knock me off this horse because you know I can't get back up. I'm just flagging Jake's accent a little bit. If you knock me into the gator talk, the call's going to get right. Okay, just. I'm tired.

I'm holding on here. All right, buddy. So, Zach, sorry about that, brother. So you got huge gaiters in your backyard. And you don't think these gaiters eat any. I think they eat stuff. Ed knows what I'm saying. Ed is concerned too.

Ed's here in gaitas. He wants to go gating crazy. No. We got a whole other call here getting deep into gaited dog. You're from Chicago. We're all curious. Yeah, it sounds like you're... I've lived in Alaska, California.

Not using it. Zach, you're fine. Yeah. So, Zach, here's my question here, buddy. Just so we can pinpoint what this question is. Those are huge gaiters. They look like crocs to me. Yeah.

And guess what? A gator's got to eat, right? True. The gator's going to eat something. If the gator sees a little dog, it's going to eat a little dog. Am I crazy? Yeah. So you're a...

Then an old man's going around saying he saw the gator eating a dog. And so the question is, is how do we know if the gator is, how do we know if the gator ate a dog. I'm that crazy. The gator eats dogs, guys. But if that's the question, then the answer is, yeah. What leads you to think that this

is fake, just that it hasn't happened before that you've found? You think these gators are vegetarians? Well, that's my question about, like, wouldn't even change your behavior towards the gators to know either way. Because I would think you would proceed with extreme caution around the gators,

regardless of whether or not. You had known that it's not, Ed, his kid is sticking. I know, but Ed, Zach saying his kid is like sticking his head in the water going eye to eye with a gator. First of all, that should stop. Yes. That should stop, Jack. Regardless of if it ate the old man's dog. That's a big gator, man.

That is. They're not all that big, but those are found in the ponds. Most of them are probably six to ten feet. Hey, Zach. That's a lot. That's big. A 10-foot gator. How old's your youngest son?

six. You know what I'm saying here, Zach? Okay, buddy. That's here. Zach. You know what I'm saying here, right, bud? I do know this. I grew up in Georgia and was in,

spent a lot of time in Florida, so I know how to run away from a gator. Do you guys know this? No. How do you run from a year? You must know this, right? It's not zigzag because they can, they can catch you.

I hope you don't say that. That's what I was going to say. That's a good thing. That's a good thing I know they got to change. How great would it be to watch someone. get attacked while zigzag. By the way, how are we to be watching Ed first be confident,

explain it, then get Jason going, this son of a bitch can zag. The rumors weren't true. Whoa, whoa. Yeah, I'm so smug. There's nothing to worry about it. Biggiezyg. You explain into the kids before there's nothing to be scared.

Watch how close I can get and then still run away. And I'm fine. Throw your dog at it to stop it. When I did at 21 Jump Street, we went on one of those boats where you go, like, see the gaitas and the bayou of Louisiana. And they throw, like, marshmallows in the ground. And the guy was doing the whole show about how safe it was when he didn't have any fingers. I remember just being, that wasn't very clear.

This isn't for Jake. He would be like, it doesn't mean. He's like, just throw the marshmallow in. Everybody can hit the gate on the head. And I was like, what happened to your hand? Was that like a birth thing? And it was like, no, I'll get it. I'm like, therefore, I will never hit a gator's face.

I don't want to throw a marshmallow near it. You've lost your fingers to them, sir. Throw a marshmallow, Adam. But, Zach, let's get to your question to figure out if we can pitch to help. Because what you want to figure out, because we're in, part of this premise, Ed, is no matter what, we're on the caller side. So the caller wants to know how he can see. He doesn't like that fear is spreading.

He doesn't feel unsafe. the gators, but he doesn't like this vibe that the gators are going around and eating old people's dogs. Right. Correct. So we're trying to figure out how we can pitch Zach to get a clear answer is, did the gay to eat this man's dog or not? How do I find proof, one, and there may not be an option for that?

And then if I can, how do I stop the fear of the neighbors? So the guy, the old man's dog is gone, though. Like, it didn't reemerge that. No, no, no, no, his dog is not gone. He thought it was his dog. Right. But his dog was apparently somewhere else. It was just another neighborhood dog.

Or it could have been like a river rat. Yeah, or like a skunk or something. That's what's... He just saw two... Who just saw two legs? But they were long... Yeah, it was longer legs the way that he described it. Yeah, but you're saying he might be lying.

True. That is true. Yeah. So how do I find out if he's lying other than approaching him and... I mean, I'm not good. I usually am a yes guy. and I hate that, but I usually just go along with what people say unless someone's with me.

Can you just, can you, well, first things first, have a, first have a community meeting where you train everyone to zigzag, including pets. Doesn't work. Because that is the right way. I don't, I think you're, I think you're wrong. You can't, you have to do. Look it up. Okay, all right. Google it.

But how can we set a trap for this old man? To catch him in a lie. So here's what I'm trying to get to, Zach, because it's somewhat of a confusing question. It's not bad, but it's a little confusing, and here's why. You're not saying he lied because his dog is still alive, but he's spreading fear that these gaiters eat dogs, and you're trying to convince the old people that they not only did this gaita

not eat that one dog, but these gators don't eat dogs. eat dogs? Well, we all know that they're capable of doing that, but I think the capability in them actually doing it is a different thing altogether. So how about we do something like this? And I don't know if I like this pitch. I don't know if I like it for the dogs run there. But with Photoshop, it's very easy to put photos of dogs sitting really close to gators right

by the swamp and be like, guys, these gators are friendly. I mean, this is a bad pitch. because this is a bad because the gators are going to eat the dogs. You don't want a false sense of security. You don't want to spread a false sense of security. Which is I kind of feel like that's what Zach is at. Like here's the reality, Zach, gaiters eat dogs.

I think that's kind of the problem here is that the gators will eat the do. There's ways to, I mean, the only real way you can figure out if this guy is full of shit or not is to actually talk to him and try to trip him into something. which is like a crazy thing to try to do,

especially when there is actual dog danger on the gator walk. Well, you could try to pin him down on what he saw and just be like, so you saw legs, dog legs sticking out of the gator mouth. For sure, dog legs. And then also be like, because no one around here is missing a pet. You could. Yeah, you know what this could be? Kind of like what happened with sharks with jaws.

it's like creating a fear that doesn't really exist. The amount of people who get bit by sharks is so small. Yeah. So you could put up a big, like a big sheet of paper that says, if anybody's missing any pets that have been eaten by gators, please mark yes or no. Put it up at the HOA, like, office or put it up at the time? There's a lot of fear spreading about these gators.

but you can lie and say, you go ahead, Ed. I have a better one. I think I have a good, I think I have a good solution. Pitch. Lay out, like,

can you make like a fake dog with, I love how confident you were in this before you started a dog. No, but a fake dog, but with like ground beef in it or something. So it's an icing.

Yeah, like a stuffed dog, but take the, the stuffing out and fill it with like meat that a gator would eat. Yeah. And then put it on the bank and see, and film it and see and then be like can or put a game camera out so you can actually like. And Ed, what do you think would happen?

What do you think would happen? No. You'll find out if you filled a meat sack full of gator food and put it right there or a bunch of pregnant gators and baby gaiters. What's your getting like this? You smell that and one would go, I think that's a domesticated dog. I don't think we're supposed to eat that non-moving meat sack.

Does it move? No. It doesn't bar. It smells delicious. I think we pass. I have the most evolved gator in the history of gaites. Here's what you'll know. Here's what you would know after this test.

If he eats the dog, the stuff, the fake dog. You learn nothing, Dad. If he eats the victim, you know, he'll eat food. Yeah, which is, that's useful. So keep your dogs away. Like, I feel like the moral of this story is keep whatever the old man said or not. Yes. Keep your dogs away from the theater.

I actually got one. I live around coyotes. And we, this is our ethos in my neighborhood. Like, we see coyotes all the time. And it's like, don't leave your cats outside. right now because they will eat them but what if we create something because i got to say i was very excited very similar to ed's uh zigzag thing i was hook line and sinker that ed had the pitch i don't think the pitches get a bunch of meat and put it in a furry dog teach the dogs how to run away

in zee's it's he's keep the dogs to zigzag no i think what you could do is you could create a dog a barrier on your own. Arbitrary number, 10 feet from shore. And you could just say, the gator is never going to go past 10 feet. So just keep your dog 10 feet from shore, and this is a non-issue. Wait, why do you think a gator would adhere to your line?

Well, he's got to sign the agreement, right, Jay? Oh, the gator. Because there's a notary. Or you spray paint it. You just, it's basically. You're doing blood. Well, here's my. theory on it. If you put it right by the bank, the gator's got to come out of the water,

it's got to eat. But I don't think these gators are threats. They're not like, you know, bears, if you leave peanut butter in your car, they'll break into your car to get it. And if you live near, like, you have a cabin in the woods, be careful. It might come in your house in the winter. We've never had that problem with gaitas. Gators are not entering a neighborhood and going into an apartment building because it smells dog meat. Gators want to be near the swamp. But they got to come out a little bit to eat. So if a dog or Zach, a little boy, a six-year-old boy

is sticking his head in the water, I could see the Gated getting confused. True. 10 feet from the shore? I think the Gated knows. We've been around since the... We're dinosaurs. We know how to survive with humans.

I don't know that Zach's conflict, and you please clarify, Zach. I don't know if Zach's conflict is with the gator population or with this old man. and the fear mongering, right? That's... Yeah, that's really what it's about,

but I love the... Yeah. You want to find out if the old man is full of shit because you believe people should be walking their dogs here, even though we all fundamentally disagree with that premise. What is it you want to have happened? Dogs without a leash near the ponds. I just want people to be able to walk on the trails,

and for the older population, which is quite... plentiful here, to not have that in their back pocket. You want the slowest people to be walking as close as they can to the gators. Yeah. Without fear. Can I ask, like, is, like, if you see a gator, do you run away? Or is it one of those things where it's sort of like, like, when I see a coyote in my neighborhood,

I don't run away because I know that they're not really going to come. But I, but I keep a sort of respectful distance. Is it that? Or do you like, if you see a gator, it's like, we got to get the fuck out of here. Like, what is the level of, what's the normal sort of etiquette or protocol in your community? Do you want to answer that, Zach? Or you want me to do, brother? I would love for you too, actually.

No, you go first, man. Okay. Okay. I think it's pretty much if you don't mess with them, they won't mess with you. But kids and dogs don't always understand the severity of, uh, what a gator can do and it's lurking and can jump out of the water and snatch. So, Zach, what is your thesis statement about dogs, gaiters, and old people? Dogs, gators, and old people.

They can all coexist if the climate's right. He fell apart at the end there, brother. That comma killed you, my guy. The start was excellence. The climate. Well, you know what you could do? There's a couple things you could do. You could make a couple meat dogs, put it 10 feet out, and see how long the meat dogs last.

We fish with hot dogs. Let's not get a – we can't open that camera right now. What do you fish for with hot dogs, man? Grupper. Grupper? Well, bass and blue fish and blue-bri-biz. That's a big-ass, man. You chopping that dog up and you're putting the whole thing on.

It's massive. Mustard? Mustard or relish on that thing? No, just little pieces of a dog. Oh, you chop it. Okay, I just imagine a whole dog floating in that pond. Just tempting those gators. That could be bringing the gators.

That could be omit. When's the last time there was a, there was a, so this older gentleman has been spreading a, what you think is a rumor that there was next. When was last time there was like an actual documented attack on a person or pet? Hmm, in this neighborhood, I haven't heard of one. That's your angle. That's your angle. That's the angle right there.

It's like, I think, I don't think you need to, like, you know, tear this guy down, but you can just make sure that the message in the community is like, we just, there's no data to support. There's no reason for fear. So how about a sign that says. You always go to a sign. Well, because he doesn't want to go one to one. So he wants this to change in the community, but he's not going to go up like a politician to each old person

and go like, hey, and he goes, had the Gator ever killed your dog? That's crazy. Maybe it's a pamphlet. Maybe it's a pamphlet. He's not going to get a pamphlet at all. A card? A QR code maybe?

Sure. Skywriting. QR code. Is a good idea. Yeah, especially if we're older people. I feel like if it's, if you're going against this older guy's message, he's going to tear those signs down. I don't think you're wrong.

But what do you think about, if you think about pamphlets, if you think about, like, if you're walking down Hollywood Boulevard and they're trying to get you to join something, you get past like a little zine, like a little magazine that has like the information. What if you made a little like two-page pamphlet about you did a little homework on gaitas, dogs, and the beginning of the top of it was,

let's stop the spreading of fear. We can co-old people, gaiters and dogs could coexist, comma, if the climate is right. What if you had a real expert, like a herpetologist? Is that a reptile person? Okay, but keep going. Like a reptile expert that can't, like an alligator expert, like spoke to the community, or you made a video that your QR code went to. And it was like, and you could just leave this QR code all around.

The older guy is not going to know what the QR code is. True. Can we do something a little crazy, Ed? Yeah. Can we go the QR code is you talking about the safety of gators? And dogs. A amateur expert in gators? An amateur herpetologist?

I mean, you can say, this is just my thing. I know one thing to be a fact about alligators, and that is that you can outrun them by zigzagging. And I will stand by that. All jokes aside, Zach, would you be willing to get a stuffed animal dog and would you be willing to fill it with meat and put it by the edge? You can't start that with all jokes aside. Well, because now I'm thinking this could be our first step before the QR code and then you could follow up with us. If it doesn't eat that, now we have proof. If it does eat it.

I also think if you do come back from the field with those results, it might be worth saying to this guy, hey, you know, I filled some dogs with meat. None of the alligators came out. What exactly happened that thing? Right, right. You could say to the guy, hey, I'm just a little bit, you know, I heard about your dog and that spooked me out too.

So I'm doing some research. Are you sure your dog? I'm a herpetologist. I just want to know what you know, but I have been calling into some podcasts. I'm trying to get to the bottom of this, because I don't like the fears, being spread, obviously, as neither do you.

So that dog, that's, see that fake dog near my, near the pond? I filled it with meat. That's full of real meat and nothing's been eating it. So could you do something for the show? I've got a rotting meat dog by the pond's edge. So I'm kind of trying to be the voice of reason in the town. Zach, this might be an example of run a mile to go a block. In a zigzag.

In a zigzag. But could you actually do that for? for us and get us stuffed to animal dog and fill it with meat and take photos of it and send it a few of them and then oh 100% yeah put it near probably ideally not near any houses because the other thing I don't want to do is I don't want to get these gaitas going oh those little dogs are food you know what right we don't want to train the gator there is a chance we train the gators might be training the gators we're not don't do this actually don't do me dog unless they do it at night time so no unseasoned

No, we don't want to turn the gateers. Yeah, go out there at night near the pond's edge and put down meat dogs. No, no, no, here's how you do it. You just put a ton of, so you put meat in there, but you also put, like, I don't know, what tastes bad to gallagate, like tons of garlic or something so that you can tell if they went for it and they bit it. But also they're going to learn, you're also training them that this is gross. I like the idea. It's also just so.

funny though that you're now seasoning your dog meat. Like you're chopping fine onions. Like I'm going to find out. So, Zach, we've given you some bad ideas. But maybe there's a winner in here. What are you thinking of doing here, bud? I do like the first step of putting a stuffed animal dog with meat inside of it. My question is, do you think that I should get a little raft and put it in a pond?

Or should I put it on the outer edge? First in the pond Okay, first in the pond. That's not a very realistic It's not, but I don't want to train these gators to come up on shore and eat meat dogs. Sure. Yeah.

I kind of don't want you to do meat dog anymore. I'm a little worried about meat dog. I am. I'll tell you why I'm second guessing it because I don't think that that I still, I also went on a gator tour

where we fed them marshmallows. And I had guilt about giving, I felt guilty about giving these wild animals marshmallows, which is the most toxic, you know, treat. And I'm just thinking like if you, if a tried, an alligator actually swallowed a stuffed animal, even just the skin. I've seen one where they got pulled out of the pond and they had like a tire inside them. Yeah, that would not, it just wouldn't be good for the gator. You pitching meat tires, Jake? You know what I actually think I'm pitching. I think I'm pitching

QR code. Sculpting a dog out of meat. Yeah. A meat stulture. Give that game of the best meal of its life.

I think what I'm pitching is what I'm really what I really think you ought to do is make some sort of a card where you do a little

zine and a pamphlet. You pass it around to people and you let people know that the dangers are unwarranted. There's no missing dogs in the neighborhood.

This is fear for fear. say, be smart. But, come on. Follow the data. Follow the data. And you should be the voice. And it's not about this old man, but that community needs a voice to protect the Gators and to realize, start being the one out there going.

There's nothing to be afraid of. There's been zero disappearing dogs in the last year. Chill out. I'm actually going to hold the line on meat dog. Okay. Get a meat dog by the shores. Zach, what are you going to do? How do we end this?

I think I'm going to go with the meat dog, honestly. I think it could be sketchy, but I think that's a good test. Okay. And then I will do the QR code. And I can take pictures. Walk us through how you're going to literally do meat dog. So I'm going to probably go on Amazon,

find a pretty, you know, average looking dog, probably medium size. and then I'll cut a hole in it. And then I'll put some, I have some hot dogs, so I'll probably just put some hot dogs inside of it. Probably won't cut them up. And then I'll sew it back. And I'll put it on one of the edge where we see the gators.

This is, come on. Now that we're hearing it, let's admit it's perfect. He's going to stuff the dog with hot dogs. What is your hope? Is your hope that it gets eaten by the gays or not eaten by the games? Or it gives you proof that... Not eating. Not eating.

So the proof would then be... Prove that it most likely didn't eat a dog. So therefore, if it doesn't after a week, are you then going to go to the old man or the people walking by and are you going to tell them what you did as a science experiment to prove that their dogs are safe? I'll answer. Right?

No, you're not going to go tell people you put a bunch of hot dogs and a stuffed dog. Okay, so then this is just for you. This is your own experience. feel a little safer about him pushing this as a safe place. Do me a favor. Could you pretend the Gator ate the hot dogs and the stuff to animal and then we're the old man? And can you explain? Ed, Gareth, and I are three old men walking down with our dogs.

And can you tell us what you did and what your theory is? That it did eat the dog? Yeah. So let's say the Gator ate the dog. The fake dog. The fake dog. So now we're all walking with our dogs, and I go like, hey, hey, guys, be careful with those dogs. Those gators could eat them.

Okay? Hey, guys, be careful with those dogs. Yeah, hey, we're those old dudes, Zach. And I just said to you, too, hey, around here there's a lot of gators. We're scared to walk our dogs near the pond because the gators could eat them. You have any theories on that? Yeah, I actually do. I just set up a case study on my own.

put some hot dog meat into a fake dog just to kind of see if it would prove if the gators are actually active and they actually want to eat real dogs or fake dogs because the story going around has actually been told that there's been a real dog eaten and so that one was eaten and also the other one was eating which was fake

so I will keep your dogs away from the pond and then how would it go if it didn't eat the hot dog dog Hey, so there's a story going around about a dog being eaten by a 12-foot gator. I did some little research and put a fake dog with hot dogs inside of it and sent out for a week and it's rotten, but gators hadn't got it yet. So I think we proved that that gator didn't eat that real dog. Are you happy with this solution, Zach? Are you glad you called in? I am.

I love this and I love the QR. Okay. So let's, if we need to, call back, we'll do another QR code, or we'll do a QR code of this episode. But I really hope it works and please follow up, especially if you're, I get to the point where you're going to talk to the old people about what happened. Okay. I will if I do any interviews for sure. Thank you, Zach. Thank you, Zach. All right. Thanks, sir. See you, bud. Right on. Good luck.

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Hi. How are you? Good. How are you? Good. Can we get your name, please? Rachel. Rachel, how you doing?

Good. Where are you calling from, Rachel? I'm calling from Denver. Cool. I like Denver a lot. You got a special one, Rachel. You got Gareth and I, but then you got the great Ed Helms joining us. Oh my God. Hi. Hi. Hey, this is Ed.

Wow. That's so exciting. Cool. I'm excited, too. So, Rachel, you want to just jump in and give us what your issue is? You want to say anything before? What do you want to do here? Well, I'm calling on behalf of my dad, so I guess I can start and kind of give a little background for him, if that's okay? That sounds fair.

Yeah. So he's like a 60-something Jewish man from the East Coast. He's very much a Larry David type. He does not do the things that he doesn't want to do. And as he's gotten older, his social battery, where's ever since? Whereas my mom is very active and social and she'll stay at a party till the lights come on. So I guess my problem is that my dad has this terrible habit of Irish good-buying.

I don't do it in our house. I'm left with people saying like, where's Phil? Like, he's asleep, but we got all on cover for him. And I guess, and then now also his issue is getting out of small talk. And he keeps saying, like, I wonder if I can get on YouTube and there's got to be a way to end a conversation, right? Like, someone will tell me. And I'm like, it's a lot. Okay.

Right. So what is the specific question that we could then help you with today? Yeah. So I guess the specific question is how can my dad leave a party without Irish goodbying and screwing us all? That's interesting. So we're pitching to give dad a line or two to get out of a social situation, go upstairs in his room and relax, but not leave, because I do the Irish goodbye. That's the best. I was about to say this is a tricky one for me because I am a. huge fans of the other. Me too. I love it.

It feels so good. And also, no one cares. Yes. No one cares. No one needs your goodbyes. Unless it sounds like Rachel's like. Yeah, if you're a host, it's a very different thing. So I think what we're learning is Phil hosts because of his wife.

Yeah. And then Irish goodbyes and everybody's in the living room going like, where's Phil? Right, right. And the family's left with, I think he might have gotten a bit of a headache. Yep. But we just read a line for Phil that goes essentially, I'm out of here, peace. Go ahead, Ed. I quit.

Rachel, this is quite a predicament. And we're talking, these are generational differences. I have to say, I love Phil. Like, how you described Phil is just seems, he's like, seems like someone I would really get along with. That said, I understand this pickle that you're in. and I'm wondering, I want to clarify something about your question. Are you hoping to find a way to convince Phil to maybe stick around longer? Or are you just giving him like a cleaner exit?

Literally handing him like a no-term. I want to get him a cleaner exit. Yeah. Got it. Got it, got it. What if, Rachel, what if we pitched on something written up that you could laminate and it is certain point of the evening, you handed to your dad right before he goes, and he just goes, says the few lines really fast and leaves.

Okay, like a cue card for him? Like essentially like a little, like, because we're looking for something he could say to people so that he, or are you looking for something that you guys could say in defense of him, Irish goodbye in? I think we would prefer if he would just not disappear and would give people something to say,

but if we could keep line, for him, I guess. It's just, it's a lot of the same lie over and over. It's the head, he's got a headache. Oh, I don't, I don't know where he went. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get this. Does is, it feels like, um, like, uh, you know, the rubber mask technology is advancing.

Have you seen, you know what I'm talking about this? Yeah. Like you, like a mission impossible mask. Yeah, like those mission impossible masks. Like you see these YouTube videos. A fay. I'm talking about it. I'm going.

A phone bill. By the way, a fake film. Weekend at Bernie's Phil. Sure. Well, that would be like the just sort of. No. Cardboard cutout version.

But there is a version that we could actually pitch you on, Rachel. Do you know one? What? Go ahead. Say it. Are there any friends of your family who look a lot like Phil? You get a stunt double? A fake fill.

Yeah. Like a stand-in. Yeah, we could find one, I think. You know what I'm honestly pitching about to pitch right now? And it's a weird way to get there, but I actually think it could work based off what Ed was saying. I think you should put at your parents' house in the basement or in one of the things, get similar to like my jihitsu dummy, where you could get a 140-pound thing filled with, like, beanbag material, and get it to look with a mask as close to your dad as possible,

put glasses on it, a fedora, and put it on like a corner couch, and everybody knows it's fake. But when people go, where's your dad? You go, like, we're not sure he disappears all the time, so we're just pretending that's dad sleeping. So just go say goodbye. So then people know at a certain point,

comedically, they can just go like, all right, and then your mom could just go, well, somebody go in the closet and get my husband. And then they just put him out and he's asleep with a fedora on his head, a newspaper on his chest. You should also, like, take pictures with him at the party and the next day show him how fun it is with fake Phil to maybe shame him. Yeah, get him a little upset at fake Phil. Okay. We can try to give him some promo.

I don't know if he's ever had a promo a day in his life. Hey, Rachel, going off of this stunt double, is there anybody in your head? circle who could be fake Phil, a brother, a cousin, somebody, a friend who would be willing to show up to your mom's party dressed as your dad and basically tag in for Phil. You could also get him there a little early so that Phil makes fake Phil and you're like, oh, because you Irish goodbye, we just got a guy to hang out. When you go, he's going to step in. He's going to tag in the garr thing where you take a lot of photos and he had a great time.

And he's awesome. We totally do that. brother would do that in a heartbeat. Although, is he too close to do it? No. No. You know what you could also do, which, and a lot of this, a lot of these suggestions are just enabling Phil. Yeah. To keep doing what he's doing, which I'm fine with. But, um, just to be clear, but you could also have a, you could have a fake Phil, a stand-in, but to, but to do it, I mean, these pitches are like kind of far-fetched, obviously, but, like, if you really wanted it to be plausible and to, like, fully work, for real, you could say that Phil had been, had, like, had a bad, like, opened a pot of soup and tried to smell it too quick,

and it when the steam burned his face. And now his face is covered in bandages. And so now he has, Now he has gauze wrapped around his entire head. And then it can be anybody. How do you do that every week? That is the problem. And how is the whole night not about the fact that he burned his face on going back to swam? The way he burned his face is my favorite way to sustain a burn. I've ever heard of.

I also love that the beginning, your setups and your ending test. are so different. The way we make this more plausible and realistic is that he was snorting up soup. Burmere his face so bad. He's covered in, and you're like, and then someone's just going to go like, oh, I guess he's fine.

Anyway, when I was telling you about my vacation to Tampa, what kind of animals are these people? That's the craziest fish. Well, I'm just trying to think of a way to cover his face, right? Because if you remember, um,

Ralph Machio and the karate kid didn't want to go to the Halloween party because he'd get bullied. So what do they do? They made his costume a shower. That's interesting. He was wrapped in a shower curtain. And I'm trying to think, what's our version of that?

Is there something that just conceals a lot of, here's another different type of pitch, Rachel? What if we do fake emergency? Hmm. He's an ER doc. We could come up with fake emergency. Phil goes upstairs once he does it.

You or your brother run up there and go like, Dad, we need you. Someone's having, what? Somebody's choice. He runs down. Nothing's happening. So that's, we're bringing him back down. You're bringing him back in.

Okay. And then what happens when he finds out nothing's wrong? There was no second half to my pitch. All I wrote is think emergency. Well, because the other thing you could do is, is like, he could get the phone call that's like, hey, there's a, you know, a guy got his head chopped off at the ER.

You have to come in. And then he gets to kind of leave gracefully. He sneaks back in the back door. He goes upstairs and goes to bed. But like, at least nobody's wondering, where's Phil? Yeah. Or, you know, you could also do. You could theme the party.

No Irish goodbye. And every party could have the same theme. And if he goes upstairs, is you bring the party to his room. We could ruin his Irish goodbye and say the solution to this is say goodbye to everybody. You could create a family rule. If you Irish goodbye, we bring the party to you. That's called the Irish hello.

The Irish hello. But if you say goodbye properly, you can leave whenever you want. But if you're Irish goodbye, we give you the Irish hello. And that is every member of the party willing to do it comes into your room unannounce and hangs out wherever you are. I like that angle, too. You could also, you could just start Irish goodbying him a lot. Hmm.

Like, you could just go, be like, I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick and just leave. And then when he texts you later, just sort of be like, oh, yeah, sorry, I just took off. And like sort of have the party Irish goodbye him. You could also do that. I like that, too. You would, okay. You can also get a raccoon detector for your yard, and you could put that in Phil's room. room.

Okay, keep going. So what would that do? The sprinklers? No, just it's like flashes and beeps really loud. So when he's sneaking off a raccoon. That's actually really fun. You put it on the stairs or something. You put it like right in front of his door, right in the room when he walks in or something

like that. So we all know when he left. So we know he's Irish goodbye. Another thing you could do, Rachel, based off of that, and this isn't a joke anymore, you could do a little air horn and keep an eye on your dad and when he starts to say to him, I don't want you to Irish goodbye tonight. If you're going to leave, say goodbye. And what he does, blow the horn.

Have someone stake out in the room. Because if I was Irish goodbyeing and I got more attention while leaving, I'd be humiliating. If you get caught Irish goodbye and it's humiliating, it's easier to say goodbye. Yeah. The reason the Irish goodbye is so good is what Ed said earlier. He's like, nobody's a, it's nobody's hurt. You're at a party. Things are going on.

You just walk out and leave. Nothing happened. But if you stop the party and now it's longer, and then you said, you went like, and turned off the music and go like, Dad, where are you going? Yeah. And then in front of everybody, he had to say, like, to my room. You're not going to say goodbye. We're hosting a party.

Shame. Shame. Shame. Wait, so, Rachel, when he's done this in the past, has anybody just tried to go and get him and bring him back? It's not worth it for us to try. We think it might be worse. So it's not worth it because... Right, right.

So you're like... Yeah, because a lot of these pitches are kind of in the vein of like trying to get him back, but then it's like, have you really won? No. But I think what the real pitch is is is if you can't Irish goodbye while hosting, that's insane.

You can Irish goodbye at somebody else's house, but when you Irish goodbye while hosting, you're putting us in a bad spot. So we're going to Irish hello you. Oh, go. What if he's, what if he's, okay, another question, Rachel, does he enjoy the party for a little bit and then just sort of like run out of battery and that's when he disappears?

Or is he just kind of a grump the whole time? He likes it. He just likes his people for like, he loves his family and his one best friend. But when a mom will invite other people and then he's got to talk to people he doesn't really care for. Right. Because I was going to say like, just don't invite him. Like he's not allowed to the party at all.

Like a full Irish hello meaning like he never even shows up. Right. That's not okay. Or he gets a later call time. Ooh. Oh, that's interesting. By the way, that's interesting. Later call time.

He gets the first 70 minutes of the party off. He can be upstairs. He makes a later appearance, but we expect another 60 on the back end. Yeah. You got to stay till the end. Yeah. You either come at the beginning and say goodbye or come in the middle and stay till the end.

Yeah. That could work. I think he would go for that because then it's the same time. That's exactly right. I can stay longer. Okay. And then will you, are you going to talk to him about this via text or a call?

Or in person? Either. We could also talk to him on the show, Jake. You want to bring your dad on? Yeah, he's in the hospital right now, so he can't talk on the phone now. Okay. There might be a version where we get a stuffed of dog. I don't hate to listen to a Bernie's idea.

Why don't we get a stuffed dad with hot dogs? Rachel, can we, and what if we got a dad suit and filled it with hot dogs? I mean, our dogs would love that. Hey, Rachel, follow up with us on this one because I think the next move is going to be talking to Dad. But I think we can come up. I think, and I think most likely I'm going to end up siding with Dad, which is going to put you in a tough spot. I'll stick to the planet. But let's get a dad on the phone and see if we can get to the bottom of this.

Okay. Ed, thank you for joining our show. I'm excited to do yours. You're the best. Oh, what a pleasure. Really fun. Serious delight. Yeah, it's fun.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here To Help help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash Here to Help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth,

who stand up on the road, go to garethrenolds.com. Remember all of the advice, given on we're here to help, is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one

are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday, starting January 20th. Go to Patreon.com for its, Here to Help Pod. Hi, I'm Drew Offiwalo. And I'm Jason Offoalo.

And we host the HeadGum podcast, Two Idiot Girls. Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things like weird dating horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once, or even a show you're loving, and anything in between. So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.