We're Here to Help - 261: Get In My Hole & Piano Time Is Piano Time

Episode Date: February 16, 2026

Jake and Gareth go spelunking in a suburban basement. Then, they set firm boundaries with a piano teacher.Vote for the theme song: https://weneedtopick.com/themesongSee images from the episode here: https://www.heretohelppod.com/post/episode-261 Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gum podcast. This is a head gum podcast. We're here, we're here, we're here, here, here, here, here, here, to, to help. With, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, res and j. We're here to help. We're here to help. And we are. Back.

What's your on G, man? Not much, buddy. Back on the road for a minute. You know, the usual grind. How are you? Good. So I got the official date of Wheel of Fortune. Oh, my God.

Lamorne Morris versus me versus Hannah Simone. This is awesome. Lamorne and I were talking yesterday, and I said, we were just chatting on the phone. And he said, Hannah is nervous that she's just going to be in between us, and we're going to derail the show and just insult each other the whole time.

And? And I said, what'd you say? He said, I said that's going to happen. Yeah. And he goes, I'm going to make it very clear. I'm going to use every opportunity to make fun of Jake. And he goes, I don't care about winning. When I'm going to try to sound it out, I'm just going to say, okay, Jake is a dickhole.

Oh, my God. There's no J's. And I started laughing, and I went, hey, look. That is, by the way, such a funny bit to insult solve the puzzle. Yes. And I go, I go, here's the problem, Lamoran. We got to talk this out a little bit. They will all hate us.

The show audience will not get the joke. And you and I will be die laughing. And I go, and then once we get in that mode of, I can't believe how unprofessional we're being at Wheel of Fortune, it's going to get worse. So I think after talking to him, I realize I'm going to potentially play it straighter because you know how crazy

and everyone listen to the show knows how crazy LeMorne can get. You can't fight LeMorne on LeMorne's turf. And once he gets going crazy, it gets so fun. Yeah. Then you're like, all right, now let's blow it up. But we've got to remember the premise of that show is to play Wheel of Fortune, not turn it into our little pot.

How funny is it that your relationship? Chip with Lamourne on air when you're naturally yourselves is you have to just try to get him to stick to the premise a little bit and now Wheel of Fortune is going to get bit by that snake. Well, it's hard because it'll start

and it'll be all normal. You know, we'll all just be like, yeah, we're here for this charity and we'll all be weirded out by Wheel of Fortune. And then what always happens is I will dig at him as a soft joke without even thinking. Right. He'll

be doing his answer and I'll go like, that's not true. And then he'll look at me and we'll smile. And what I'll be thinking is, I didn't mean to do that. Let's not. But he'll go like, oh, I want to open up the can of worms? Like you should have just gone limp. Yeah, and I'll be thinking,

I take it back. I just, I don't know, I made a mistake and that was immature and it's not the right environment. And Ryan, Cicrest isn't laughing. Van O' White's not laughing. No, Vanne White. especially not laughing.

No, Pat Zajak would have hated it. Oh, God. And then the next time where it gets to Lamorne doing a version of a guess, it's going to be two words, and he's going to go, I'd like to punch Jake Johnson in the face because he deserves it.

And then they'll go like, eh. Lamorne, are you solving the puzzle or just saying that? Both. Can I buy a vowel? There's a punk over there named Jake Johnson. That's not a vowel.

There are no, there is a punk over there. Only person who has lost their turn buying a vowel. This has never happened in the history of the show before. Yeah. No, there's not that letter. Nope. And then he and I, during the break, we'll both start laughing. And then my guess is there'll be

a director or somebody there going really funny stuff, guys. But a lot of that stuff, we will have to cut out. So we're going to stick to the fore. And Hannah will go, yeah, I agree. We should. And I'll go, agreed too. And then LeMorne will go, like Denzel,

mm-hmm, and I'll go like, fuck. And then you know me, then I'll go, what do I care? We're just, I got 30 more minutes with this guy, we're doing Wheel of Fortune, and then it'll come to me, they go, you got to guess, and I won't, and I'll go like, a punk goofball over there,

and I'll go, now we're a death trap. The only thing is that you have to solve a certain amount of puzzles for the taping to end. So at some point, you're talking about the crew going into overtime on maybe the easiest show to tape ever. It might never.

The episode might never end. There's a chance. Here's what I'm excited to announce. And this is the beginning of this. We have not done the hats yet, but I'm going to. I'm going to get $30,000 to show up for charity. I'm going to give it to some of it. I'm still in contact.

I'm trying to find bubbles because I want to give some of it to that. I wrote to, I found the place that is currently housing bubbles. I want to cut him a little. check through another sanctuary in Kentucky who reached out to it's always people reaching out first but there's this sanctuary in Kentucky that we are going to adopt use that money to adopt some chimpanzees and they are going to be the show chimps gareth we're going to make christmas cards our yearly christmas card is going to be the chimps we as a community are the parents so every caller is an uncle or an aunt you and me are the two dads we're

We are going to become chimpanzee parents together. How do you feel about it, dad? Papa, I've never felt better. This is, there's so, it's honestly hard to have an on-the-spot reaction. The first is, it's awesome because it really is so necessary. And I'm not trying to be like, okay. No, of course. But it is, we all know the deep, real good stuff.

It's all positive. And then on top of that, there's also, there are, you know, there are times where you go, like I'll think that sometimes I'll be on a show with like a comedian that I really admired or like, like, I said this the other day, I think to you, but I was, I went and had a coffee with one of the guys I worked on arrested development with

and he started on the Golden Girls. And so I started watching old golden girls episodes and his names in the credit. It just, there was something about that connecting to me. But when you actually think that a young Jake Johnson who was 100% familiar with who Bubbles was. You are now on the other end of that.

Yeah, it's great. Using your career to help bubbles. And I'll tell you another thing. I'll tell you another thing. You see this guy right here? Yeah. That's Rodney. He's going to be one of ours.

We're going to adopt Rodney. Can I tell you a little bit about Rodney? Yes. He was rescued in 1996. He was used at a laboratory for experiment. medicine in New York, places closed down. Rodney was pulled from his goddamn mother at birth in order to be raised by humans in a nursing setting.

They got a bunch of these to the primate rescue center along with six other young chimpanzees in 96. This group of younger chimps was introduced to four older chimps. Growing up, he always wanted to play and would sometimes try a little too obnoxiously to get the other chimps to join in. Oh. He's a Jake Chimp.

He daunted and hassled them. He's a Jake Chimp. Throwing things their way or slapping the ground until they would chase him. Chink. Never mind if they were annoyed. It was all a game to Rodney's wild ass. Wow. Well, thankfully Rodney was well taken care of by Zulu. One of the older chimps who treated him as her own child.

Bless Zulu. God bless Zulu. We every little chimp who's a little bit wild needs a Zulu or we're screwed. Let me tell you about today. Rodney's still a goofy chimp who wants to play with his other chimpanzee companions. But every once in a while we do see Zulu. We'll play with him too, but not as much. He's a happy chimp now.

He likes to goof around. But at mealtime, Rodney's high-pitched noises of excitement and happy food barks can be heard above everybody else. Wow. So that's just one. I'm not going to read all of them. There are two other guys. One of them is named Donald, which I found incredible. Wow.

And there's another guy I think. And we got a guy named Ike. So I'm also going to do a thing for fun and we'll see if people are interested in this. But we are going to make Leah at Raleigh Shop and I are going to make hats that says, I adopted a chimp with Jake Johnson. We're going to set a price for every penny of profit will go right to the sanctuary. The show's not going to make a dime on it. Leah is going to get paid her side.

because she's working hard. She's got to get a little bit of money. But that's going to be on the website. If you're interested, and I'm going to try to get one and give one to Ryan Seacrest on the show. So I'm going to be a salesman for people, and I'm going to talk to the audience of Wheel of Fortune

and ask people to buy hats, and all that money is going to go to these sanctuaries. So let's see how many hats we could sell, how many chimps could get something, but we as a community, you're going to hear more about Rodney, you're going to hear more about Ike, and hear more about Donald.

but February 20th We are recording it Is Kyle going with you? Yes, Kyle's going to come and film all the behind the scenes He's got a busy week Because on the 19th We're going for the prelim No, wait, March 19th for you

No, February 19th Oh no way! To the preliminary That's just to set it up. Okay, okay, okay, okay. No way. So we're filming that setup. I found my guy finally,

which is his own whole crazy story. All right. So, Gareth, your movie is coming to a film festival. Yes, so I made a movie called Give It Up. It will be at CineQuest, which is in San Jose. March 15th is the big screening. It's in a huge room. You can go to give it upfilm.com for tickets and information. There are a couple other screenings, but that's really the one we're trying to get people to go to. Will you be at the screening? We'll be at the screening. We'll be at all the screenings. And there's, I think there's a Q&A after that first one. So it's a big room, so we're trying to get people there.

So for all of our fans, if you're near the San Jose area, go support Gareth, be there, make some noise. And without further. Adieu. This episode is brought to you by Walden University. Think you're too busy to earn the degree you've always wanted? At Walden University, you get the W and win your time back. With tempo learning, you're in control. no weekly deadlines, no rigid schedules,

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Support our show and let them know that we sent you at checkout, Lisa.com promo code here to help. Hello? Hello. Hi. How are you? Good. How are you doing?

Thank you. We're going to solve this problem for you. What's your name, please? I don't think so. Oh, boy. What's your name, please? My name is Madison. Madison, hi.

Madison, where are you calling from? I'm in Denver. Awesome, beautiful. Madison, just because we, you're in the jungle. Yeah. I think this will make Jake feel comfortable. You're in a jungle. I'm there.

Jake's with you. You see an animal It's a predatory animal But Jake's with you What animal are you going to feel most comfortable It's a predatory animal Feeling like you're going to disarm With Jake Johnson by your side here

I can answer for you You're safe no matter what I got you Madison what's the problem What can be for you? Well I know what Jake wants me to answer Which is a silver back That's perfect But I'm going to go at

Anaconda Great A big old snake you're on your own Okay I'm kicking you in the knee and running as fast as I can. Get her. Eat the snake. All right, Matt.

So what's going on? What can we help you with? So I rent my house for my sister and brother-in-law. They just built a new house. So I'm in their old one. And I had some friends over after I moved in and was giving them the grand tour through the place, showing them the kitchen and living room, all that. And, you know, the grand finale of the tour is in the basement.

I wanted to show off the best feature of the house, which is basically in the maintenance room, there's just this incredibly deep hole in the floor. Cool. Yeah, it is cool, honestly. But as I was lifting the grate to show off the hole, some other stuff fell in. Like what?

So, well, that, I didn't know what it was at first, but it's like something, they're in little packages. One says, on it and the other says ABLE, which when I Googled it is like fly fishing gear. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. When did this fall in here?

Like, what do you mean when? At the end of your tour. Yeah, so I had friends in the maintenance room. I left the grate and they like slipped into the hole. And I sent pictures you can see this. Oh, yeah, we're seeing it.

And who's, that's down there? Who's Where did that stuff come from? Well, so their Their basements is full of their stuff still. Why is it been It's really scary stuff, man. Right?

Yeah. Well, yeah. This is a weird well in the water in the basement. Your brother and sister and Liza? What are they storing down there? Yeah. Silence of the Lamb's. That's really scary.

Yeah. That's in horror movies. No. Well, that's why it's the best way to end the tour. Yeah, but what is it? It's scary way to anything. Why is it there?

Your guess is as good as mine, obviously. But what are the people? I know it's a cistern. Like, I know it's a cistern. If you asked me what a cistern does, I would have no answer for you. Okay, so you lift it up,

and while you were lifting up, two boxes jumped in it? Yeah. Somebody knocked them, the great knocked. How did they fall in? I think, well, so the room is full of stuff.

So I have to, like, clear all of this junk off the grate. So I think I just missed a couple pieces in my eagerness to show off the hole. Okay, so two things fell in the big hole in your maintenance part of your brother's house. But this is your their house. And so I guess my question is, how do I get this stuff? My brother's Yeti stuff has fallen into my hole. Yeah, exactly.

Throw some hot dogs in it. Also, I mean, the first thing I do is cover up the hole and throw the shit back on top. Yeah, for sure. But, yeah, so my question is, like, what do I do I? Right. Because they're going to come clean out the basement soon. And, like, we all enjoy looking into the hole.

So I know they're going to look in there. And then they're going to go. Don't sleep on. We all enjoy looking into the hole. You let that. I agree. We all just like to go stay. Well, I got to say it's like a fire.

You know, you go camping and make a fire and run stairs at it. That's what that hole is. Yeah. Use the difference. Yeah. Use. No use. Well, you also just want to keep track.

of it, you know? What's use? Just a big hole in the basement. Okay. I mean, I do the amount of hours. I would spend staring in that hole. Jake. Yeah, I'd be right up.

Just looking at the hole. You said that an hour ago. I'll be right up. I'm not nagging you, but dinner's cold. I'm looking at the hole. Jesus Christ, why do we buy this house on the hole? So the question is, is how do I get that stuff out of the hole? Or, like, fishing gear.

You're fishing out. It's either, how do I, it is, it is, it is, Well, yeah, the fishing gear's in the hole, though. Yeah, but the rod is. I mean, it's amazing that the fishing gear's in the hole. But you got, if he's got fishing gear, he's got a rod. I got a pitch. Somewhere maybe.

How deep is this hole? If you look at the picture, I mean, it's got to be like 10 feet, 12 feet. I did a piece court at 18. I got stuck in a hole like that, and that's not a joke. Couldn't get out. Keep going. You were talking. Scariest moment of my life.

And the guys, the other guys just said, climb out. Didn't have the arm strength. So what did you? You do. Stayed in there for hours, tried to get out, and they were all laughing. And then dirt would fall in, and I was so sweaty. It would go in my eyes. Couldn't get out of the hole.

Took me hours. You got out? I had to. This is a hole. You just asked, you got out. No, I'm still in the hole. Great context for this call. Did someone throw a rope down, or did you, like, have to wedge yourself up the hole?

They wouldn't do a rope. They were out in the jungle. This makes so much sense. And I was helping build a latrine, and I had a metal pull, and it was just going down. that ripped the hell out of my hands. And these guys had leather hands. They were fine. So then the guy goes, come on out.

And I go, wow. And he showed with it, there was like a spider monkey going up the wall. And I thought there'd be a ladder or a hook. So much is making sense. And I went like that. And then I tried, and they laughed. And I kept, I'll go two rungs up, rungs meaning I create a little hole. Yeah.

My body's falling down, weak in the middle. And I go, he was in spanish, no um no puerto out of hole the response was okay hours

they left at a time just kept going you know what I did I got out of the hole thank you for the call hold on sorry Madison don't hang out

hero's journey yeah yeah that's great for you I got out of the hole good for you that makes me feel better that you're not going to tell me to go into the hole I haven't finished

that's why I ask how deep is it Yeah, it's Costa Rican's laughing at you deep. So that's deep. That's a deep hole. What a story, obviously. But here would be my first pitch. And again, I'm glad you got out of the hole, buddy.

Me too. Part of me will always be there, though, brother. That tracks so much. I'm still in that hole. That tracks so much. All right, keep going. How about this? You don't say, you don't.

It's crazy looking. Everybody knows it. Don't say a thing. Don't say a thing to them. All right. When the next time you guys go down there for a gape viewing, go down there, have a look into the hole that lives in the maintenance room and let your brother go. Whoa, what? And you go, hold on.

And you go, oh, yeah, I saw that down there. What is that? I thought you knew. Okay, I hear you. He goes, no. And you go, oh, I don't know. Then it's a communal problem. We're seeing how much they need it, how much you need to sweat.

if it's a big problem, then you guys solve it together. Can I get a photo, Jesse, of the basement again? I just want to look for tools. I want to see if there's a support beam. Jake is going to be McGiver right now. Are you hoping to lower me into the hole? I want you to do. You got that extension cord, tie it around your neck, jump in there.

There's nothing I see, but you got to do something about three times your weight, and you've got to repel down the side of that wall. You got to get to the bottom of the hole. How wide is the hole? It's not that wide. It's tight. I've got to say, I'm worried my hips are going to, like, get me stuck in there. That's a video we would like to see.

Baby got back. I'm not trying to, like, wiggle into it. I think the back's going to have. Madison, I think the bag's going to help you on this one. You want to jump far enough in, and then it'll jam you. That's the goal here. The fear of Santa. God's stoppers.

That's what we call the big hips. And so you're wondering, what do I do about this thing in the bottom of the hole? Do I try to get it out? Because I'm 100% you got to get it out. I don't agree. Well, I feel like I need to get it out. But I am, you know, if there's a good enough story as to how it got in there, that doesn't incriminate me too much, I'm open to that too.

Well, the story, I don't know if they'll buy that I just didn't know. How about, I got a question for you. You're in the Denver area. Where was the rock climber? Who? The guy who had to cut his arm? No, the woman who went on the dates. Philly.

That was in Colorado. No, that's Philly. Philly. But there's definitely a lot of rock climbers in Colorado. I would say let's make a post here where you go there and you say, need a rock climber to go in a hole in my basement and get some stuff. You can be featured on We're Here to Help, a podcast. We're putting it out right now.

If we have a rock climber in the Denver area, slim hips. Slim hips. You're going to get five thousand. My best friends are rock climbers, so I can pitch it to her. Have a good day. You know what? So your best friend's a rock climber and they are at a gym with a little community? Oh, yeah.

So let's make a little billboard, a little poster that goes up there. We need you to come in here, climb to the bottom, get these out. So what do you think of that as an idea? Well, first, you are underestimating how many rock climbers there are in Denver. So, every other run too much. Oh, make it a competition. The person who could do it to fast. gets the reward.

Who's the fastest person that could get in the bottom of the hole, get some stuff and get it out? Let's just stick with the problem. Where are you anchoring this? No, they're going. They're going to raw dog. They're going Jake Johnson, Costa Rica style. There's nothing.

You literally got to do. No, you want to do this shit. Yeah. We're getting them down there. They're free climbing. Free climbing. Free solo in a 10-foot hole. That's hard.

I got it. I got stuck. Yeah, we remember. But I got out of the hole. I know. By Gret. Well, you might need to help me write a waiver if that's the direction this is going to go because I'm not going to be liable. We're not liable for anything on the show.

And just Gareth, because of the end, says, you're an adult, you make your own decision. We're legally clear. That's all you got to do. We're legally clear. So what are you? Because the last thing I want is like skeletons in the bottom of the hole. Now Jake will come for a visit. But what do you think of that for real as a pitch?

because I think turning it opening it up to the rock climbing community as a bit of a challenge I'll tell you what you get one of these spider monkey rock climbers they'll do that in a second for sure they'll go like this I enjoyed it

and they get celebrated we're also floating out there also this if you do it and you belong to a gym we will promote to the gym great so if you own a gym we'll do it like you go to a boxing place these guys on the street go to a box place challenges the head coach.

Head coach beats him up, blows up on YouTube, helps business. If you own a gym and you want to show how good it is, send your best rock climber. Send us someone who can get out of a 10-foot hole. It's nearly impossible.

10 feet? There's no way you can do it. That's four feet higher than most of these people. I ain't getting out of that easily. No way. So you train all the time every day you got the chalk on your hands. You put it up a fake wall?

Can you do it when the pressure's on? Can you do it when it's real? When there's two things that are maybe used for fishing a little bit at the bottom of the hole. You can't. You can't suck. You can only do it there. Yeah. Yeah.

Try to do it in the real world in a hole in some basement. You're going to some stranger's house and getting in a basement hole. What do you think of this? I think this is a genuine solution. I think if I was a rock climber in Denver, I would go, I could do that. No problem. Really? Everybody says that.

You have to measure that hole. It doesn't look like that many people can fit in there. One other time. Part of it is that... One at a time, Natalie. We're not having them all jump in. It's not the three stooges entering a room with free food. It doesn't look like that much of the population can fit.

Agreed. So you've got to be the perfect rock climber with a little body that can get to the bottom. You can't bend down. So you have to pick it up with your feet and then climb up. Cain. So, hey, this is a problem for the rock climbing community. I think we're saying we've got you to the point where we're bringing in an expert. We're going to help facilitate the expert how they want to get it.

Well, not because you're not a rock climber. You don't know a gym in the Denver area. Look. And we're splunkers, you know, gold diggers, whatever you have. How about this? Does anybody in the Denver community want a lot of advertisement? Yeah. And if you do, this is, it's not supposed to be easy.

If it was easy, the neighbor would do that. But if my neighbor most likely is a rock climber. Well, we also need a rock climber with the right body type. That's true. We need a little petite rock climbers. We're looking for petite rock climbers with feet like hands. Yeah. Look, basically, honestly, I'm changing the pitch.

Does anyone have a monkey? In Denver, do you have a monkey? Will you throw your monkey in a hole? And if you did, would the monkey come out with fishing gear? If I hope that fucking monkey listens, a lot of them don't, and that's facts. I'll tell you what. All we got to do is put some gorilla glue on the feet of a monkey. I guarantee you one of those two boxes is coming up.

Let me throw out a challenge to the spot bouldering gym. There we go. 1235 Delaware Street. I don't think you got a rock climber in that place that you get this. Good. Yeah, this is WWE style. Oh, how about Movement Baker, rock climbing gym? 1155 West Fifth Avenue.

Yeah, could I? get somebody? Could I get somebody? No, we're the best rock climbers in our little gym. Could you go in a basement and get this out? I can't. How about Denver, Boulder, and Club Central? How about Alex Honnold?

Star of Free Solo. There you go. Is he in Denver? No. Who is the... No, I don't know. Acklamer call in for, like, a singles event. Maybe we need them.

Yeah, she's in Philly. She's in Philly. We talked about it. And so, how about, you know, So basically, what do you think about climb Denver outdoor rock climbing? That's not that. That's a different thing. That's not a gym.

That's an experience. So back to you, the phones are away. Do you want to go, do you want to make a poster right now and go to a bunch of rock climbing gyms and put it in the lobby? Do you want to talk to your friend or your sister and spread it? How do you want to do this? I'm open to the poster in the climbing gym, but I am curious how it'll be worded because I don't need some calls about strangers wanting to come into my house and plunder my hole.

No. I don't even want to say merch, but... I'm backing away. My mind's spinning. Same. So, should we make a little poster together? Let's make a poster. Let's do it.

You got a sheet of paper in front of you? You know, you know I do. I mean, I didn't. So let's start with this. looking for Petite rock climber This is like every dating profile in Denver

Sure I'm not wrong It's going to sound like Grindr if you're not careful Seeking twink from my hole Seeking rock climbing rock climbing twink For my hole in my house I got a hole in my basement

if you know what I mean. Need you to dig out some fishing gear. You start with the letter. What do you think the poster says? Like wanted. Rock climber, not afraid of a challenge. Right. To be featured on the podcast, we're here to help.

because you don't want it to be like a weird thing where they're like, what is this? Yep. It isn't dangerous. Yep. It's weird. It's goofy. It's not dangerous.

And then so wanted that first line you said to be featured on the podcast, weird it head up. Fishing gear has fallen into a 10-foot hole that's skinny. I like this. Need a rock climber to get it out. Because prize to be a number. announced on the podcast. Yeah. If interested in scaling this little wall and getting this stuff, please email me here.

Are they emailing us? No. No. Okay. Will, if you have an email you could give? Yes. I don't want it to. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I'll make like get in my hole at gmail.com.

I wouldn't call it that. I'd be careful. I'd be careful. Wouldn't call it that. And it's taken. Good point, Jesse. By the direct. Hey. Last thing I need is, I'll sell it to you. Last thing I need is a bunch of task emails clogging up that email for me.

I've got to keep it refined. Plugging it up. Yeah. Yeah. So how's the poster? Will you read it back to us when you're ready? Okay. I have wanted.

Rock climber, not afraid of a challenge. chance to be featured on we're here to help Must fit inside of 10 foot by XWit hole Please help me fish out our gear Before my brother slash homeowner Sees that I dropped his stuff in the hole I don't know if you need that Okay I think that's good

I'm trying to make it less mysterious and weird And more like I'm just going to this woman's house It's kind of funny I don't feel skis I think what we're saying at the beginning about we're here to help. That's true. Solve it. It sets it up that it's not like. That's true.

And what I would do is I would, what is the, do you feel comfortable saying the name of the gym that you're going to go and put this up at? Put it up at a few gyms. Okay. Then go do that. I think if you go put that up at a few gyms, you can make an email that's specific to this cause. And this needs to have a sap.

Refine it. You get specific. That's the general idea. When can you get these up, do you think, Madison? Today. Probably like on Sunday. Okay. So get them up Sunday.

I agree. She seems swamped. What are you doing tomorrow? Working. Tomorrow night? When? 24 hours a day? Well, and then I've got my adult

a cappella group rehearsal on the evening. Can I hear them? Hold on. Give us a taste. No way. Yes. For free. Yes.

Way. For free. How about this? If we solve this problem, we get it. If we solve this problem, will you have the group sing our theme song? Please. Absolutely. Okay.

There we go. We'll get Oliver to write the lyrics. And then you guys, as a. Acapella. You guys do the. Yeah, we'll do an Acapella rendition of your, yes, for sure. Incredible. And then obviously, not only the audio, we'd love to film that and see it.

So just one phone. Perfect. Okay. Madison, get to work. We will help you. But this is only Wednesday. That's Thursday. What are you doing on Friday?

It's working. Oh, yeah, work again. And then we've got our holiday party. It's the holiday season. It's busy. It's a holiday. But, you know, I'll make it happen. Oh, man.

You could call it the holiday. I've got a wig party on Saturday. I've got another acapella thing. But what's a wig party? It's a party where everyone brings a wig and then you all open the wig. what? Where are them? Will you send photos?

What? A wig party? I'll tell you what. Ironically, the more we dig, the more lost our plot gets. Stick to the story. Madison, make these flyers. Go to the gym. We got her potentially a new theme song with Acapell and you get a wig party.

Hey, I'm still thinking with that. The wig party's off brand. Madison, go hang these up at the gym. If you got to do it Sunday, you got to do it Sunday. Yeah, I'll get good returns. We'll talk soon. Okay. All right.

I will. Thank you for your help. Yeah. Thank you. Hey, I'm Madison. We're going to get this fishing gear out of that hole in your brother's basement. Bye-bye. Nice time.

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quince.com slash here to help. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. How you doing? Welcome to we're here to help. You're just going to be on hold for another minute or so.

Do you have your problem all figured out? I do. All right. Will you just tell us what the problem is really fast and we'll put you on with the guys. Yep. My problem is that my piano teacher won't stop talking to me about her sex life during our paid lessons.

Okay, so then remember to state the problem when they ask. When you say your name, do you know you could use your real name or a fake name? Yep. Okay, and then with the age, and then try to say something kind of cute or funny and show your personality at the beginning, okay? Okay, sounds good. We're going to bring the guys on in less than 10. Okay, thanks.

Hello. Hello. Hey, welcome to the show. Hey, thank you. Good morning. Good morning. Can we get your name, please? My name is Sarah.

Sarah, and how old are you, Sarah? I'm 37. Okay, and where are you calling from? I'm calling from Denver, Colorado. Okay. Got anything else? Okay. that's all I got.

There's nothing cute or funny. That was not cute or funny. Did Earl, was supposed to prep you to do cute and funny. That was supposed to be. That was Earl. He's the prepper. The prepper.

You're supposed to then do the thing and try to say something cute and funny. That's Earl's whole. What was it? Did Earl ask you for something cute or funny? He did. I just have, I got nothing cute or funny for you. All right.

So the setup is says I'm cute or funny. You got anything else? You go, I do not. I do not. All right, Sarah, what is your issue today? Okay, so my issue is, so kind of like an awkward issue with my piano teacher. She won't stop talking to me about her sex life and, like, asking me for medical advice during our piano lessons. I see.

What? And I pay for these lessons. Are you involved in any, is that? Are there any reason why she would seek you out specifically, or this is just gabbing? So, so I'm 37 and a grown-ups, but I take piano lessons with a bunch of eight-year-olds, usually. Oh, you take a group class? No, no, no, it's not a group class, but you do the performances. Yeah, I take lessons, and I perform in her recitals.

Oh, my God. My daughter's do it, too. But by the way, my daughters do this too, and there's the occasional older person. That's awesome. I love that. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah. Yep.

By the way, Sarah, all the parents, do they probably cheer for you as much as they cheer for the kids? Yeah, they were excited. My mom and my brother came to the recital last year. This is so great. We give a lot of heat. They'll be a kid. They'll be like a six-year-old, and then they'll be like an adult goes up, and I'm still doing the like, woo you got it Sarah

I appreciate that that does make me feel better yeah it's a lot of nerds students appreciate it okay so walk us through this her and give us some examples of what this teacher's saying give us a moment what it feels like in class

okay so she you know she teaches from her home so she I get that she's spending like most of her day with kids so I don't think she gets a lot of adult interaction right and she's single she lives alone

I'm single, so maybe we've kind of like bonded over that. Is she your age? Is she same age? She's about 10 years older than me. So she's 750, as some people would say, like other people on this call, but not me. I say. And we have a lot in common. Like we get along.

We're very friendly. We like some of the same music. We've met up at a couple concerts. So maybe we've like blurred the line a little bit between. teacher student and like a friendly vibe. Yeah. You have blurred the line. By the way, you have blurred the line.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Go to a concert with somebody and then you'd be like, hey, the lines are blurry. Yeah. You went to a concert. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. What is the song they do about animal? I want to fuck you like an animal? Correct.

Yeah. So you're standing next to your piano teacher while they're going, I want to fuck you like it. I want to feel you from the inside. and you're going like, dude, I should play this. Yeah. She's like, yeah. And she goes like this.

These are really easy chords. Yeah. Yeah. And then the next class, she's like, my knees get sore from doggy. Or at the next recital, they go like, no, like, Christy Lee will be doing a song from Moana. And now Animal by Sarah. Sarah will be doing Animal by nine inch nails. Yep.

Yep, that's pretty, that is pretty much the situation. You nailed it. Okay. All right. So we get it now. So you guys have blurred the lines. And what happens in class? Let's get a taste of what sex talk from a piano teacher during a lesson sounds like. Maybe you could play both characters, Sarah. Do you and the teacher? Okay. I was worried about something like this. I'm sorry. Okay, but I prepared for this. So, okay, so like I'll walk in. We, you know, we say our little greetings. We'll be like, hey, Sarah. How is your week? And I'll be like, oh, good, Kathy.

How was your week? Weather's been nice. Did some practicing this week. And then it'll be like, oh, she'll be like, sorry, I'm like really tired today. I'm kind of out of it. Like, I was up fighting with my boyfriend all night. And I'll be like, oh, boyfriend, this is new. And then she'll be like, yeah, well, we've been friends for, you know, like a decade.

but we just hooked up for the first time last night. And then I'll be like, wow, okay, that's a lot of new information. Meanwhile, like, my scales book is on the piano, like, hasn't been touched yet. So that could go on for, like, sometimes like 30 minutes of a 45-minute lesson. And so while this is happening, no piano. No piano. No piano. I'm sitting at the piano and I'm looking at the piano, but I haven't touched the piano.

I totally get this. Okay. Yeah. You've opened a Pandora's box with someone where it's just, you can't go back to teacher student. Yeah. And I kind of do that to myself because I, like, I think I listen and I encourage and I'm like, oh, interesting.

But now I don't know how to, like, back myself out of it. Is it, is it always sex talk? It's always kind of that sort of talk? It's a lot of sex and relationship talk. Like, I do think I was the first person. Actually, I know I was the first person. told, like, immediately after she hooked up with her new boyfriend because she told me that I was the first person she'd told because I think it had happened the night before.

And, like, I don't want to be the first person she's told. I don't feel like I should be the first person. Okay, so Sarah, let me ask you a question. Because this is complicated from a lot of sides, in my opinion. This would be very clean if you did not go to concerts together. But you just saw each other at concerts. No, they met up. Oh, okay.

Sarah? Yeah, we kind of met up. You made plans. Yeah, we didn't, like, get the seats together. Like, we were sitting in different sections, but we, like, met up between songs and, like, said hi. Okay. And how many times outside of the piano have you guys socialized?

And who initiated that? A couple. If I did go, okay, I did go to her Thanksgiving. She had like a friend's giving and I went to her friend giving last year. Why? Because she invited me and it was real nice of her. But Sarah, let me ask you a question now. Do you want to be her friend or no?

I want to be her friend outside of like paid lesson time. Yes, understood. So you are happy being friends. You like her. Yeah. But when it's piano, it's piano time. Yeah, yeah. Okay, that's clean.

That's right. Okay, then by the way, the concerts, all that don't matter. That's clean. I'm your friend. This is piano time. Gareth, go ahead. Okay, so the issue is that she's ruining piano time with social chat. So I think you should ask her out for a drink and make it all.

about piano talk and show her that you're blurring the lines in the other direction. And then if there's then that way, that kind of guides her back into the structure of friend time is friend time, piano time is piano time. I've got a pitch. I'm going to call that blurred lines. Great. I think that's crazy, but it could work. Here's my pitch.

It's January 19th right now. You say to her, by March 19th, you want to do a very challenging song. You want to challenge yourself. Do you think, say to her, can we get there? Meaning, if she starts to talk about other stuff, go, let's talk about this at the bar, but we have to try to get this song. So if she's like, oh, my God, did I tell you about Roger? Go, I'm dying to hear about it, but let's do it after the lesson.

Because again, I'm trying to do the white album by the Beatles by March. Yeah. And that's as a teacher, she has a goal, too. Yep. Yep, that could work because we do have our recital coming up in May, and I am working on a really challenging piece. So here's what I want you to do for the May one, and then I've got a great idea.

Say two of your friends, Jake and Gareth, you were talking to them, they're old friends of you, yours. Have you been listening to the podcast for a while? Yeah. Have you listened to every episode? No, because I started at the very beginning and I've been working my way from the very beginning. I'm not like August 2025.

So there's a little gap. I've missed anything that happened recently. Okay, that's cool, though. That's cool. You're about to have a lot of fun. Show gets crazy. Here's what I'd like you to do. I'm having a vasectomy. Go ahead. I'm adopted chips. It's a chimp daddy

I am caught up to that You're jumping around So Sarah here's what I'd like you to do for real Say to her at the next lesson I've been challenged by two buddies of mine Jake and Gareth They are asking if I will film My song at recital

These are guys I've known for a long time They cannot believe they were teasing me that I'm doing piano lessons like I'm a 10-year-old. And I told them, I'm going to rock this song. So can we spend it from now until May and go really hard? And then could you film me in May? And so I can send them to video because I really want to beat these guys. These guys are no-it-all.

Give everybody advice. Nobody wants it. They think they're smarter than they are. I just want to beat them. Yeah. Yeah, that can work. I like that. And what I would do on the heels of that is say also, you know, what are you doing Friday night so that we can actually have a catch-up?

Do you want to get a drink so we can kind of talk about personal stuff since we're focused so much? Gareth, that's beautiful. You could say, because we don't, because I want to focus all this time on the piano, can we start doing a monthly coffee at the very least so we can catch up on all personal stuff? Okay. And you know what she's going to say? That's very nice. All right, girlfriend. Yep.

She's going to go, look at Sarah wanting to be my best friend. Yeah. Okay. That's good. That could work. Yep. A little bit of the social time to get back on track. You know what that actually is?

Sweet and Mormon like us. That is. By the way, Sarah, just quick update. I know you're catching up on episodes. Actually, this just happened to call ago, but we're thinking we're kind of a Mormon show now. We're the keeper of the calls. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Oh, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Not any of the weird stuff Yeah, we don't know a lot about the details of it But just in terms of the sweetness of it Yeah, we like the soda I might still do a drug from here

You know, from time to time, but I'm still drinking coffee Yeah, Jake's having coffee But we're pretty close We're drinking alcohol We're 90-tenders Yeah, I'm also gonna drink alcohol when I want to I'm also gonna drink alcohol too And yeah, Jake's a big gambler

And by the way, I'm gonna do a lot of drugs I'm gonna do whatever I want Anyway, we just stopped being a Mormon podcast But what do you think of all this, Sarah? Um, I think that could work. Um, I like, yeah, I like sort of making the offer of the social time so that I don't just feel like a jerk for being like, hey, can we not talk about anything related to your life? I think if you hit it with all that set up J-KAD, that's going to be very easy to do. Yeah, yeah, that feels good. And then I get my like paid piano time back because I am like paying 50 bucks a lesson right now just to like listen to her talk about her boyfriend. Which is insane. And that can't.

happen anymore. I've been in the situation before with stuff and the other thing that I'll do, but I think this is better, is be like, sorry, I don't have a lot of time. I kind of got to get into it. I got a thing after this, you know, but that is only going to solve one or two. This is a holistic shift. Sarah, this is going to really work because what it's going to do is it's going to really focus you guys up through May and knowing that we are going to post your recital on Instagram, which we're gonna. Yeah. Your song is going up on IG as its own thing.

Oh yeah, you guys are going to be wowed. And so that's in truth a lot of pressure. It is, yeah, wow, that just got real. Because there will be hundreds of thousands of people, and if it happens to go viral, millions of people will watch you do this piano sino. So while you're sitting up there, know that there's a chance. millions of people are going to watch this recital. That is not helpful for my stage fright.

Well, here's where it is helpful. You got to work really hard. You got five months. You can beat stage fright with preparation. Preparation, because here's the reality. You're only doing it in front of a bunch of eight-year-olds and their parents. The more you work from now until May, the better you will be. So tell her, you're sending it to these guys, and it's really,

really big pressure for you, and you really need to wow them and then say, because we're going to miss some of our gossip time, why don't we start getting a monthly coffee and just catch up on life stuff so that this hour we focus? Because I am legitimately nervous for me. Yeah, this could work. This was really helpful. And so what are you going to say to her? Walk us through it. Okay. So my only, my only question is, I don't think I can say I've been on this podcast. No, do not mention the podcast. People are going to see it because I don't mention the episode. Do not mention the podcast. Well, you could say, I guess I have to say something. Say you're trying. I mean, like, go ahead. It's like, my two friends really want me to

videotape the recital because they think it's super goofy. and lame that I do this and I want to prove them wrong. And then we're going to have a bunch of our friends. So I need to like rock this recital. Yes. And I would say I know them. They're going to send it around to all of our friends. And if I do bad, I'm going to get teased playfully forever.

And they thought it was like laugh out loud, funny that I'm taking piano lessons at my age. And I want to kind of rock it in not a silly way. And then you offer the social hang. Yeah. Sarah, this is going to work. I think that part's going to work. I think it'll work. Will you follow up with us?

Yeah, I'll have my mom filmed the recital and I'll send you guys the video. That's the cutest thing I've ever heard in my life. Sounds like we're talking to an eight-year-old. You're adorable. And Sarah, what song are you going to do? I'm playing Beethoven Sonata in the C minor. Holy shit. Macro.

It's a really cool song. How are you going to do your hair? You're going to do Barrette's Why do you ask Because part of the thing for the little girls Is how they do their share in these They wear little dresses

They dress up a little bit Yeah I was not planning to do braided pig tails Will you do one big braid No No Okay I have one French braid down the back of my head One big French braid

And then wear like a straight up like spring gown Oh no those shoulders. It's getting so weird. I agree. Moving on. Sarah, this is going to work.

Earl might take over and ask you for something cute or funny just for the, just to be cute at the end. You got to stay on for a second just to close with Earl for legal reasons. Okay. Thanks a lot, Sarah. That's us signing off. So stick on the call. All right.

We're going to move you to a different room. Thanks. Hello? Hello. Hi. Is this Sarah? It is. All right, so you can't do any of the advice of what the guy said.

This show is just for prank. So you're going to have to call up with a fake follow-up, but it is illegal to take the advice. Do I make myself perfectly clear? Do I make myself clear? Yeah, that. Yep. Yes, yes, sir.

Now you never say to anyone you were on this show. Don't know. I'm sorry. Earl! I lost it. Sarah, Jake is Earl. I lost it. All right.

Thanks, Sarah. I did put that together. I know. Very good. Bye. All right. Thanks, bye.

Bye. Hello. Hello. Hi there. Hi. How are you? We know that you're a follow-up. So what's going on?

What was the first call? What's your name? Where are we at? Yeah. So my name's Madison. I'm in Denver. And my first call was because I have a giant hole. in my basement and I dropped some of my sister's stuff into it.

We were just talking about this today. Okay, Madison, take over. Okay. Well, your advice, you know, I'll admit that I was definitely expecting the advice to be more like, you know, get a pool basket and, you know, a net, like fish it out. But you were pretty committed to the idea of putting someone into the hole. We always are. Which I'm just, I know. I mean, who wouldn't be?

And I'm happy to accommodate. So you recommended that I make a flyer and post it up in a bunch of climbing gyms in Denver. So I did do that. Oh, my God. You did such a good job with this flyer. Garrett, will you go line by line for people driving? Well, in the, it's a full flyer. It's full of information.

It's got our, we're here to help logo in the top. And then to the side of that, it says, we need your help. Right below that is a very clear circular picture of the hole, which, again, is deep. So it's a cavernous thing we're seeing here. To the side of that, it says in search of a skilled climber who could fit into this hole, gives the dimensions. And then it's smaller. Approximately 28 by 36 diameter, 8 feet deep. So it's daunting.

Below that, if you look into this hole and think, quote, I could easily shimmy to the bottom and then scramble back up end quote we need your help whoever retrieves the items from the depths of this hole will be featured on the podcast we're here to help and receive a prize parentheses to be disclosed on the podcast and parentheses uh please email us for more information and then contact us at helping a hole at gmail dot com mdison 10 out of 10 oh and there's even there's even an asterix participation is voluntary any decision to enter this hall is made at your own risk. We accept no responsibility

for injury, death, or subsequent involvement by emergency services. You know what I might want to do with this? What I might want to do with this, Madison, is Morgan who was able to print out calendars from a company.

This should be its own laminated page. This could be a poster. This is a poster. This is completely a poster. This is so good and so this show. This is our first poster. I think this is a poster.

Legit. Oh, I'm glad you like it. This is excellent. It really is. It's also what our shows about. It's so weird. And I'll say, you know, I went to three different gyms with this and two of, you know, really only one of them was like interested.

Yeah. The other two are kind of like, yeah, you can put it on a bulletin board. Okay. One of the places had investment. Let's give them a shout out. What's the name of that climbing gym? Oh, yeah. That was movement climbing gym.

in Baker. If you guys are in Baker or near Baker, go to movement climbing gym. We love them. That's pretty central in Denver. It's a good one. It's the best. There's no one else you'd rather be climbing,

honestly. And talk about whole spunkers. I mean... Also, Gareth, next time you do a show in Denver, will you stop by this gym? Yes. Yes. Okay.

All right. So then, Madison, what happened after that? So I posted this poster, And I, you know, we'll see if I get in trouble, but I definitely use my work printers to print this out. And, you know, in the midst of printing this out, one of the designers sitting next to me saw it and was like, well, I'm a climber. And she is maybe five, too. Okay. So I had her in my back pocket, but she didn't really have any good ideas of how to get into the hole and back out.

Right. So move forward, posted them. I did get a few responses. Can we hear the responses? Yes. I sent you, you know, maybe the most ominous response, and the rest of them are very kind and professional. Will you read Madison, all of them?

Oh, my gosh. Yes. Thank you. So the first response I got was the more interesting one. The subject line is, I can go in your hole. Oh, God. It says, hello. Oh, I hear you have a hole in need of someone to enter.

I am thin with long arms and a rock climber. I would love to fill your hole. Oh, no. I can send a cover letter and resume if desired. And then full name of the person in the email address. Oh, my God. I didn't even think of this aspect of it. The comedy is there, but honestly,

don't do this guy. You don't want the job. Yeah. Okay. How about the other ones? So I also got... I will just say the email address is Helpinghole at gmail.com. I agree.

I agree. I agree. Helping hole is shocked. I agree. You can have that email address once. This is all over. We're good. We might take it.

For a small fee, you know. Al said, just give me a number. I got one from someone called Felix, the cat. that says, hi guys, I'm super keen to try going down the hole. My partner, too. We haven't been caving in a while. Sounds like fun to me. And I went back and forth with them for a while.

They seemed like good contenders. They could be real because they're into caving. The idea that you're like, we've missed caving, we'll go down an eight-foot hole. But that's what caving is. They can go in little holes. Bigger ones. Then sometimes they get stuck. And it's worth it to them.

They're like, this is cool. I just want to say we don't need to vet any of the applicants because Madison has solved. Yes, that's true. Oh, keep going, Madison. Yes. So I'd say those were kind of the two standouts to me, the, you know, the creepy answer. And then Felix and Alana were really nice and I went back and forth with them for a while. But none of the applicants had a great idea of how to get in and out of the

hole because I sent them more pictures and there's nowhere to like loop a rope to lower anyone in and out. I was thinking more like spider down the wall. Yeah. Well, and there's, it kind of like opens up after the concrete in the floor, so it's hard to like get yourself into it. Okay. But I was talking to my best friend,

her name's Avinley, and she introduced me to your podcast, so you know, have to mention her name. But she was talking with her boyfriend who had the idea to throw down a rope ladder. So like a fire escape ladder into the whole

And he was like, yeah, we could do that. I'm happy to hold the ladder, but I'm not getting in the hole. Respect. And I said, well, you got that five, you got that five, two buddy at you. Yeah. Yeah. I said, I happened to know a coworker who would be happy to get in and out of this hole. So that's when we started formulating plan, the plan.

Great. And I had, I had all of them over. So my coworker, Brea and her husband, and then my friend Avonlea and her boyfriend, Nick. And then I put together a compilation, video for you. Oh, Madison. By the way, I'm not a big socializer. Gareth knows that.

But I used to be, as I've gotten older, the idea of going out and having like a couple's dinner, it doesn't sound interesting. If I was invited to go to someone's house while they put a ladder down a hole, that's, I'm a yes. Yes. Now I would go with my wife, too.

That gives us something to talk about for the hour and a half week. Once the hole is done, let's see you guys. No, this would definitely get you out of your hole. I would go like this. I'd go like this. I want to see this.

Yeah. And then I would help hold the ladder. Yeah. And when that little 5-2 co-worker went down there and got it, I would want to go afterwards like, how was it? I also think you'd be. It smelled weird. I think you'd be pitching from above.

Yeah. You know. And then as soon as she got out, I'd be like, you should be really fucking proud of yourself. That took a lot of gall. Now, very quickly, before we see this, remind me again what's in the hole? What are we doing all this for?

Remote or something? Exactly. Yeah. I wasn't sure because they were. It was two pouches that I could sort of read the labels. One said Yeti. So I was thinking it was probably like some sort of camping gear. And then one had, I don't remember the name of it,

but some sort of like fly fishing company name on it. Okay. So a Yeti product in that. All right. So here we go. So we're taking the cover of the hole off. It looks weird. It's good.

It is tight. It is tight. So how are you feeling? Not great. Okay. The ladder is down. Oh my God. It is deep.

This is your co-worker about to go down the ladder. She's a badass. She's climbing down. I love the score you did. The ladder is secured. The score is great. Someone was wearing crocs with socks. I love that.

She's going down. It is way scarier than I thought would be. She's deep in the hall. Completely agree. And it's watery. Oh. She threw off one of the things. You put a sound effect for some reason.

From Mario. Oh, it stinks down here. There's sticks down there. No, it stinks. Oh, stinks. Now we're getting her out of the hall. They just lifted her out. She's out.

We've got a pouch. We're opening the pouch. Yeah, so it's fly fishing. Fly fishing stuff. What's a dry bag? Oh, my God. And in the Yetie. It sounds great.

Nothing? Nothing in the Yetty pouch, just water. But it was about getting it out of there. This was cool. Wow. Oh, now we're drinking. We're celebrating. Good.

It's a huge win. This is that we have it a whole party. All right. So, Madison, great job. Thank you. that whole group of people who did it. Gareth, would you ring the bell, please? Absolutely.

You have your main climber on the call with us. Ah! Brer! So, she is. She's been on this whole time. I'm starstruck. Me too. Hello. Hi, Briya. Hey, you know, I got to say, you got a lot of gall.

You're a tough lady. Thank you. Tell us about what it felt like being in that tiny little cold hole. And the smell. Yeah, it did really. really stink down there. There was a lot of standing water. So that was kind of, you know, added a little bit of fun element to it. But yeah, it's definitely dark. I had my head lamp on. So it was a different experience down there.

And what did you, while you're deep in a hole in your friend's basement, did you have any thoughts that surprised you? Well, I was thinking it would be a good place to hide a body. but I was hoping there were too many witnesses there you know I didn't think anything could go too sideways I mean if they wanted to it could have been a dateline thing where they threw the rope in after covered it up and been like

that was a long play oh lotion in the basket and then they all go like you thought we loved you but that didn't happen well I got to say to brought her husband along well he would have been in on it if it's a dateline.

Yeah. Obviously. And it turns out you and the husband have been in love for two years. Bingo. I mean, honestly, everything Jake said is exactly the story. Yeah. Without question. And then eventually that whole thing gets filled with cement.

Yep. And then nobody knows. Everyone's wondering where brains. I got the little climber lady. So I have one question and then one pitch. My question is, this was all for your brother. right? Like it was his stuff? My sister.

Your sister. His sister and brother-in-law. Now, how much did they know about how out of control this all got to just get an empty Yetty bag and one piece of fly fishing equipment out of this hole? Well, I actually was going to ask for me a little more help because they don't know anything about this. They don't know I dropped anything in the hole. Great.

It's how it should stay. So, but I made the big mistake of telling my mother about this, and she is, like, itching to tell them. Okay. Here's my pitch on that. I pitch that we do a follow-up, follow-up. With them. With them, and we tell them everything that's going on. I think so. Show them the video, everything. I think that's right. Oh, my God. But don't reveal anything.

You know, Madison, don't even think about it until we're all on the call together. They're not going to be mad. Let's just get weird to see what happens. Trust this. This is so strange that it's okay. They might get mad. Yeah, all right. And then I've got one more pitch.

I did make Brea, I made Brea sign a waiver before she went in the hole. So I have been coming. And, Briya, honestly, once again, the dateline of this all, really, you were, you're lucky you got out of there. It's incredible. I know. I signed my life away, truly. Absolutely. Technically, she could still throw you in there.

True. If she didn't know my friends before she came, she was game to have two years. strangers holding the ladder for her to get into this hole. It's wild stuff. Worked out, but we're going to ask you to kind of cinch up that decision-making in the future just for your own safety and the safety of others. My pitch is going to be, what date, do you remember the date when you went down there? Do we remember what date this happened?

Last Thursday. Last Thursday, whatever that date is, let's mark it on the calendar. Let's mark it on the Steveberg calendar. And going forward, we're going to treat this day as what I call a holiday. And you guys are all going to get together and have a little party every day on this year to look back, enjoy yourselves. And it's just a good reason to get together, like Jake said. I love it. Love it.

Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Guys, we appreciate you. This was amazing. And Madison, let's for real do the follow up with the other two and we'll reveal it. Yeah, don't tip it. Okay, I love it. You guys crushed it.

Way to go. And then I do have one more Great for you which last time I talked to you You really were eager for me to get posters in And I told you I couldn't do it that night Because I had a cappella rehearsal And so my My aquapella group has put together your theme song

This is You keep delivering us back in This is phenomenal Here we're We go, wow. Get, Red and Jake, with, with, with, get friends and Jay. We're here to how. We're here to help.

Okay. Natalie, can we use that as the opener for a few episodes after this? And at Greenway Drive is the social media handle for your Acapella Group? Yes, yeah. Greenway Drive Acapella, where your local neighborhood Acapella Group. You mean are incredible. And then, Natalie, can we just do it? a few episodes where we put that on and then we'll do what we need to pick which one the audience

wants going forward the OG or that one it's going to be confusing because I do have this like her original call and this follow-up is going to be the first episode in February so we start putting it on now it'll be no no no we're going to put it on after okay okay it's going to be after we come on it'll be we'll do what we need to pick in February or March and figure out if this is our new theme song going forward that's excellent it's a contention Wow. Amazing stuff, honestly. So much. Call it whenever you want.

Honestly, Madison. Don't even hang up now. We're doing another call. If you want to hang in there, no problem. But we do have to... Yeah, this is incredible. So follow up with us. We're going to do with your family.

The theme song's incredible. Thank you for getting in that hole. That's incredible. The video's great. All of it's going to be on the social. The poster, our first poster, potentially. Things are happening. Yeah.

Great stuff. fruitful beyond belief. Thanks so much. All right, thank you guys. Ring the bell for sure. It's been run. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show,

please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're here to help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston,

editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelicki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to Garethrenolds.com. Remember all of the advice, given on we're here to help,

is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod. Well, good afternoon. This is your little friend, Stevenberg, and this is a message going out to all you fantastically

brilliant vasectomy doctors. I have a little proposal for you all. My wonderful friend and brother, Gareth Reynolds, is looking to. to get a vasectomy done because he is making the choice to not bring children into this world. And you know what? I respect that opinion. Nobody wants a bunch of little Gareth running around. Boy, try saying, try pluralizing Gareth with a lisp. That's not easy. Nobody wants a bunch of little Gareth running around when Gareth himself doesn't want that. So doctors out there, what we are looking for, what we are wanting, if possible, is for you to give our friend Gareth a vasectomy.

Now, we'll pay for it. He's got COBRA. He's got great insurance. That's not the issue. Here comes the little angle we're taking. We would like to document this on a little thing called videotape. This is a plea. This is a call to all vasectomy doctors in the lower 48 in the United States. Please, oh, please, let our little friend, Gareth Reynolds, get a vasectomy and let us videotape it. We're talking to high eight, you know, like a... gritty, you know, it'll look good. It'll be classy. It'll be artsy.

You will come off looking like an absolute hero. That's a burgundy. Thank you. Enjoy this message and enjoy this episode. Bye-bye. Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I have a new podcast on HeadGum called Next We Have. Now, this show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't.

Because you now legally have to listen to the show. That's how law works. Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three. short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge, Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The Do Boys play a game called Meal or No Meal, and Steph Tolliv and I go head to head on a thought-provoking game called Guess That Sound. The show is as dumb as it sounds, and we probably have more fun than we should. But it's a great time, and you should listen

or watch new episodes of Next We Have every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.