We're Here to Help - 267: Bad Girl of Trader Joe's & Model Hands (with Kyle Mooney)

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

Gareth and Jake are joined by Kyle Mooney for this bonus episode. First, they foster grocery store jealousy. Then, they broach a sensitive fashion conversation.Make sure to check out "What's Our Podcast?" hosted by Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett.Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Gill sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. We are back, We're here Two Out Out. We are back. We are with the great Kyle Mooney.

Kyle, you and Beck Bennett do a podcast called What's Our Podcast? How you enjoy in the podcast world? I like it. No, I mean,

I feel like the cliched things of like getting to create a to hang out with your friend are accurate. If that is a cliche, it feels like people have said that before. But it does. That's how we started. But no, it's also, and I feel like, Jake, you and I talked about this the other day.

It's another outlet when, like, sometimes outlets are hard to come by. So it's a place to riff, place to do weird voices. And have zero pressure. Truly. And it's so little stakes. Yeah. And you're like, you can kind of do anything. Yes.

And there's typically something that's very special. But it might be like 90 minutes to find that one thing. But like there will be something that's cool. I think that's exactly. So you guys, what was your guys a start? So you guys started up, were you doing sketch before you guys created your group? Or was that you and Kyle and you and Beck, you guys formed that together? What were you doing beforehand?

We, so Beck and I met auditioning for, the improv group at USC, and that's where we also met our friend Nick Rutherford, and we did four years of improv and sketch and college. Through the university? Yes.

Okay. And then when we got out, it was sort of the dawn of YouTube. YouTube had just became a thing. Yeah. And we'd already made the decision that we wanted to pursue some version of what we were doing.

We had like, I feel like, it was clear we had chemistry. You know what I mean? And when we would do these sketch shows in school, like I think people saw that we worked together well and had something happening. So we started going on tour

and we started making videos. And the videos sort of popped off in a way that we sort of, we just pursued that a little more aggressively. And eventually we started finding our own separate work as like acting. and then ultimately we got on Saturday Live. It's crazy. That's the quickest version of it.

The good neighbor stuff when you guys started doing it, I mean, we were sort of talking about it before. I mean, it was so good. It really... There was a video that you did that I think I talked about on that date I asked you to go on years ago when we went out to lunch at in Atwater, but where you're interviewing people,

I think it's the Giants game. So funny. And you just kind of swallow your words in a way? Yes. What is the mindset? So what Lamarne was saying that he didn't finish because we just started ripping on something else. But before they knew who Winston's character was,

he would always get new ones. And it was that video that Lamorne used to always show us just to laugh. And he would just start doing that rhythm in bits, and then they started writing his character being awkward. but what was the kind of headspace? And do you stay into that guy the whole day? Like when you're with your little crew and you're going, you're just walking up to people asking them questions.

Are you just staying in all day? Yeah, I mean, yeah, so we did a few of them. And yeah, that one is called ball champions, I believe, if anyone wants to see it. He went to like a reptile convention or something too, right? Yeah, the very first thing we did was the Lakers championship parade. parade, yeah. Right, yes.

Two years in a row. The first one was really like Dave, who was our director and was behind the camera, and I grew up with him. He was like, oh, this parade is going to happen. We should go. And we didn't really have a sense of what we were going to do. And I had around the house been doing, I guess, like talking like that or this bit of somebody who, like, doesn't quite know what they're talking about or has a vague sense. And the questions, kind of makes sense.

Everybody goes like, I don't know what you're asking. The people are so lost, but there's a camera, so they want to be helpful. Yes. And there's something about you that's so likable and sweet that they don't want to be rude to you. That's so funny. They don't know what you're saying. Yeah. So, yeah, essentially, like, I'm going up to people and, like, kind of asking questions,

but also sometimes not. sometimes there's statements, sometimes, like, I'm just getting, like, you know, whatever. It would be like, if I was at a baseball game, like, wow, these, for the real, the real grand ones are being hidden today, and then they say whatever they would say. Sorry, what? But, like, you're right. I think that, like, whatever it is about my demeanor, which I guess, you know, is innocent and I probably seem very stupid, like, people, like, we're typically. They don't want to be mean to you.

incredibly nice and like it would often end in a hug or something like that but i will say that that that giants one specifically though there were there was there's a set there are two sets of angry people there's a couple dudes in front who really don't want to deal with me yeah and then we had on the field access because we had we'd actually shot the piece for norm mcdonald had a show called interesting sports show on comedy central and so like you know i'm interviewing baseball players and this player for the Giants, Aubrey Huff, is just very

I guess confused by me and I would say I would argue mean but but yeah you know it's I get that's that's it's entertaining I suppose but yes to answer your first in terms of like

being in character it was always incredibly intimidating to me and scary. Sure. Dave was always good. Dave would just be like, go talk to them. And it's like, I'm just sort of like, okay, I'm going to do it. And you just go.

You're like, just get past the fear and just do it. Yeah. And then like, you know, after an hour, you pretty much settle in. And then it's like. You get the rhythm. And then you know, like, okay, that was a good one. You're sort of, you're kind of clocking in your head. Like, I bet that'll make the final cut, et cetera.

Well, will you explain to this audience a little bit about your podcast so we can get people here listening to that one? Oh, you're being very sweet. You know, I feel like this is the third plug you've made, and you're taking a very generous swing, and I want to say, I'm thankful. And I hear you, and I see you. Thanks, man.

Because you don't have to do it, and I know that I've never done anything like that for you. I don't think that's true. The show is, Beck and I, back, like I said, went to college with him. We ended up starting Saturday Live the same year, 2013, made several sketches together. And he left a year prior to me. And we started families. And I think at some point, a year or two, a year after I was done, we both sort of felt like, let's do something. Like, you know, it's a piece of you is missing.

This is a person I had worked with for whatever, 15 years or something like that. And, yeah, podcasting seemed like a way for us to hang, to do bits, and to, like, try something out. And so our show is called What's Our Podcast? And it's basically Beck and I trying to figure out what our podcast should be about. And guests come on and pitch us ideas, and then we make that podcast with them. And, yeah, it's silly and sincere. It is different, right? It's like, these other things you spend more time on, right?

Like, writing a screenplay or whatever, like, takes a year, or multiple years, yeah. And then you put it together and before it gets to the world, it's 18 months later. This is. Right. The exact opposite. Yes. And then you hear from, like, people who are, like, close friends, like, a year after it comes down to the world.

Like, hey, I saw it on an airplane. That was awesome, man. Like, you made no effort prior to that. Whereas, yes, this is immediate. And yeah, I feel like I've got, yeah, the, like my rando friends, Rando, I don't know why. That's all right. Safe space.

You got to get rid of me saying the word, Randall, man. Dude, we're keeping it. We're keeping it. No, that's the intro. They're coming after me. They're coming after me. Brother, that's the clip. That's the clip.

Rando Kyle Mooney goes off on his Rando tangent. But yeah, I feel like people I already use this. There's an approachable quality to the whole thing. And I feel like persons who don't check out every project I do

have sort of found their way towards just listening to us like shoot the shit. Yeah. Do know the hard work. Right. The sweat equity. It's out quicker.

in our closet sometimes. You talk funny, you do some stupid voices. Hey, man. I've enjoyed it. I've listened to all of them while I drive to work. And you go like, thanks. And we're brought to you by Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden University has helped work in adults turn ambition into action through flexible distance learning.

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you're ready to launch use offer code gill sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain hello hi can you hear me yeah hear you perfectly what's your first name my name is joanna joanna and where you're calling from joanna From Chicago. Ah, we're in Chicago. I'm living in like the South Loop area, pretty close to like Chinatown, Bronsville area. That's cool as hell.

We filmed a movie called Win It All in that little Chinatown area. Joanna's Chicago? You got to watch it. On the South Loop, you got a special one. You got Gareth and I, and you've got from S&L and the What's Our Podcast, the incredibly funny, Kyle Mooney is here.

No way. That's so exciting. Hello, Joanna. How are you? Good. How are you doing? I'm doing great. So now, Joanna, it goes to you, young lady.

What is your problem and what can we help you with today? We're going to pitch our asses off. We're going to get to the bottom of this one. Amazing. Okay, I'm going to try to keep this as brief as possible, but there's like a little set up for the situation. So I just moved to Chicago about six months ago from like a recent transplant from California. I currently don't have a car here and this problem has to do with my grocery shopping experience.

So there's only like one Trader Joe's that's relatively close to me and I totally gave that away by telling you the neighborhood I live in. But since I'm relying on like walking or public transit, it's the most convenient one to get to. The issue is that it's also the same Trader Joe's location where I recently applied for a job, interviewed with them, and got an offer basically on the spot, and then ended up ghosting them and making things super awkward. The reason that I ghosted them was because I was kind of desperate to get a job at the time, but I was also interviewing for other jobs actually in my field. And the timing was kind of hard. So I asked them for more time to decide when they gave me an offer. for however they kept calling me back and a couple of weeks went by

and I was too scared to call back while I was trying to wait out my other job situation and I ultimately got that other job and then never had contact with Trader Joe's sense except for the fact that I've been back in the store a few times since then and every time I'm just like panicking and trying to avoid the hiring manager and the three other people

who were on like the interview committee for me who were all so nice which makes me feel even worse but at least one of them has been there every single time I've gone in and I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack like going around the corners of the aisles and just running into them because they just kind of like are popping up throughout the store and I've made like awkward eye contact with them. I just feel terrible for basically ghosting them after the whole interview. So my question is how do I handle these awkward run-ins long term when this is my only convenient and also like favorite grocery store in the area?

Let me start by saying good job, Joanna. Yeah, great synops. Kyle, just to start, what are your initial thoughts when you hear all that? I feel you. I feel the struggle. Yeah. You say you always see somebody from those meetings, from those interviews. Unfortunately, yeah.

But there's never been any contact made. No, no, yeah. But you know that they know, when you make that eye contact, Joanna, is it clear that they know who you are, you know who they are, but nobody's saying anything? Exactly, yeah, which makes it so much worse. And I've, like, thought about disguising myself, but I just feel like that's doing too much. That's going to get crazy. Is it? Yes, disguise is number two.

Yeah. How much time has passed since the interview? The interview, I want to say it was like early October. So it's been a while. Yeah. How did they... That's good. How were you corresponding with them, Joanna?

That's a good question. Over the phone. Yeah, they were just calling me. And then they called you and said you have the job. They like left a message. So actually that was the whole thing in itself too, because I had like two rounds of interviews with them. And after the second round interview, the hiring manager, like, approached me in the store afterwards when I was shopping and, like, offered me the job on the spot.

Oh, you were going to try to go for a technical difficulty. Yep. Yeah, I love, that's where I was going to go to the year. I never got it. Because then you could approach them and say, hey, hey, I don't want it to be where I never heard back. But it's all, you guys have great staff. Yeah, I get it. It's a tight unit.

I love what you guys are doing. I did just get another job. So if I'm still in consideration, please take me off. But they said, so, Joanna, you were in the TJs and somebody walked up to you, and what did they say to you? What happened in person? He was like, hey, we'd love to bring you on board. What do you say? And I was like, oh, my God, I'm like, shramping right now.

I just wanted to have my shopping and go home and be able to, of course, like, keep this option in my back pocket if it came about. But I basically said, like, okay, can I have a little bit of time to think about it? Which felt so awkward in the first place because I feel like in my inner. used, I made it seem like I was like ready to get going, you know, like, because you were. It was. Yeah. And so you said, give me a little bit of time and then you never followed up again.

Yeah. And that's on me. It is. No, but I get it. But I get it. Look, this is a real problem. This is actually wheelhouse for our show because this is real. And you want to go back to the TJs.

You don't have a car. It's walkable. One thing I don't believe in, but when you said costume, I do. thought I patch, but I think that's the wrong direction. I don't think we start creating a look that they go, I don't want to know about that. Because if you had an eye patch, their first thought is something's happening with her. But Jake, you are saying it.

I don't think that's... And saying you don't want to pitch it while also... You are saying it. Pitching myself into it. Well, what I'm pitching is, as I don't think it's the right move, but there... Here's my real pitch to you. Here's what I would consider. I have not obviously thought this out.

I would go with three bottles of wine and a note, hand them to each and say, I just want to say, I'm so sorry, I never got back to you. I appreciate the job offer. I've been in a really tricky situation with this other job, but I did take it. But thank you. And then, how you doing? So that when you walk in there, you can small talk and socialize it. But I would go for the over-the-trial.

top, apology. I would maybe even, and I know I go lie a lot, I'd maybe go lie. Yeah. Kyle, where's your head out? I'm still, I'm trying to wrap my head around the best moves here. Part of me is the time thing, the fact that the interview was in October, and we're now taught, we're here speaking at the end of January. I'm thinking there is a chance that they may have seen more people,

interacted with more people, and it's possible that you could have been forgotten. Do you think you put in enough FaceTime? Do you think you made enough of an impression that, like, they know who I am, they see me, I'm a regular here? Yeah, I'm not, yeah, I don't know. It's hard to say, I could just be overthinking it, but like one of the times that I was shopping more recently,

after this whole thing, like two of them were standing behind, like, the desks that they have for employees. And they were, like, both looking at me and making awkward eye contact when I would look over. And I just, like, thought, I just thought for sure, like, they're talking about how I just never called it back. And that you're weird. It's also, they have that weird Trader Joe's help desk. I know exactly where you're talking about. And you do have to basically, it's an essential zone if you're going to be doing a shop. I am inclined to go in your direction, Jake,

because I think you hit it head on. If you had in November gone up to them and just said, hey, I handled that improperly, I got a job. But now you're living with this complex. I think you do want to find something to gift them. I have an idea with the no gift. Go ahead, Kyle. Just, listen, I think I'm,

always on the side of like going head on and and being honest in some way. And I think your pitch, Jake does accomplish that. And I think is a very nice gesture. Just a full another realm that I wonder if, and I don't know the name of the company you currently work for, but for the sake of it, I'm just going to say it's, supersonic media, okay? I think maybe if you can find some gear, like a jumpsuit or a sled suit,

if you just oversell the fact that you're taken like you're spoken for, maybe you don't need to say anything ever and they could just see, like, oh, I see what happened. Yeah, yeah. It's sort of like a walking billboard scenario. You could also do a weird thing and do it from like the Jewel Osco. You know, you could find another Chicago grocery store and just really represent their colors.

So they go like, I guess all of a sudden she's miss fucking Jewel Osco over here. Well, to that idea, you could, if you are trying to cushion this fact that you, you could lie about what this other job is and make it a job that is so above and beyond anything they were offering. that goes, she walks up to them and goes, hey, just as you guys know I work for NASA. You just say this. You go, look, look, you guys offered me the job. I really appreciate it. While I was mulling it over.

I was behind the CIA. NASA. My NASA stuff started to happen. She's going to seem like she's having a mental breakdown. Which also is great. Then they go, we dodge the bullet. Then the iPad. Jake, then the iPatch.

Then the iPatch. What we're going for on this is that she can shop regularly. I got something that's in the, I like Kyle's pitch of you, just start wearing the clothes from the new place, but we're asking them to make a jump. Another thing that you could consider doing, and this is a weird plane, it's going to make you seem weird,

but it will end it, is go up to the person who hired you and go like, let's call him Steve, right? And go, hey, Steve, can I get a minute? And he'll go, yeah, and you go, so I've been giving it a lot of thought, and unfortunately I'm going to have to decline the job offer. And they go, huh?

and you go, the job offer that you offered me, remember I told you I needed a little bit of time to figure it out? With everything that's going on right now in the world, I'm just so slammed with other things that I'm going to unfortunate, but it's been such a hard decision. I've just been mulling it over and mulling it over. So I really appreciate it. But at this point, I'm not going to be able to take the job.

But thank you so much for everything you guys done. And then go to the other two people and go like, thank you. I'm so sorry about as if you, were in a huge decision, and now it's over. So now they're going to think you're weird, but they're just going to go like, man, we dodged a bullet. It's not going to be quiet weirdness.

Then when you go in there, you can go like, hey, Steve. And they'll go like, how you doing? You know, I love it. And I don't want to, I just want to get it out there. You could also go up to him and accept the job, and there's no way they're going to want to have you. So they have to fire you. Then they are the ones who have made it awkward with you.

But there's the off chance that they want to say yes. So I do like the version where you go up and go, you know, I thought about it and I just can't. I keep kicking it around my head. Go ahead, pal. Well, I love that too, Jake. I'm curious, like somebody like me, I feel like it seems like you, you're sort of privy to awkward situations. and I find myself often in experiences like that, and I feel very vulnerable, and I'm not good at confrontation

or coming out to people. I would just say, like, a sort of this very same idea, but maybe a step down so that you don't have to, like, approach a human being and have this conversation is if you still have any of the phone numbers or if you can find any way of getting a hold of them, If you can, I think chances are you would like hopefully knock on wood end up in voicemail and just say that exact same thing. Just say, hey, just so you know what either, I didn't, all this thing. I'm sorry, I didn't accept the job in time.

This is what happened. If you just get it all out in some way and I don't know if there's an email version or whatever it is and hope that you don't have to talk to anybody, then I feel like maybe you could just walk into the store with the confidence of like I said it whether they heard it it doesn't matter but I did it and I'm going to shop now with the piece of mine yeah yeah yeah yeah plus I patch I like that too

you just the last thing I could say is you could combine some of these and you could put some of that in the card like you could decline with three bottles of wine and give it to them. So it's kind of like you are doing the version where you say, I'm not interested, but thank you for considering me. Duran, I got a crazy pitch

because I like where Kyle's going. I think it'll be good for you, but it's been three months. They might not even remember your name. So they might just get a text saying, passing on the job, and they'll go, huh? What if the main hiring guy

going back to let's say it's Steve, what if you try to create essentially a romantic comedy meet cute with him? And so while they're walking, you like drop a thing of ketchup. And then go like, oh my God, I'm so clumsy.

And he's like, whatever. Then you both do the bend down and you go, good to see you again. I'm sorry about the job thing. I can't do it. I can't do it as in I can't do the job. I can't or like once you're in that spot he goes oh no problem you go like it is a problem

I'm paying for this and you'll go like accidents happen and you go you're always understanding some would say to understanding what I need to say to you is I'm not taking the job that was a bad ending but I'm trying to get to like create how you're going to get there trying to get to I don't know how to dialogue wise get there but I'm trying to create a situation where you and one of these people are connected. You have a real moment. Or you don't even talk about it. You just go like, how's everything going?

And then they'll go good. And then go, sorry if I never got back to you. I've been slammed at this other job. How's it going here? Off of that, what if you approach this person, whatever fashion, and you say, you ended up hiring someone, right? I'm really sorry that I had to pass. You make them think you've passed to one of them already.

Or you say, hey, I'm sorry to do this. I hope this isn't rude. Did you guys ever get the flowers I sent? Don't need that either. And they go, huh? I got pulled into this other job. It's my dream field. But I sent flowers, but I realized after,

I don't know if I even sent it to the right place. Interesting. So you did pass three months ago, but you're checking on it now. Joanna, we got to hear from you. What are you thinking about all this? Where are you at? These are all amazing. You know, the one that did stick out to me is like wearing a polo or something from my job

because I do have something like that that could make it really obvious that I've, you know, found something else. I love the idea of the Jewel Osco shirt. I think that would just be so funny. Like if I just consistently wore something like that in when I was shopping, especially because there's a jewel like right across the street. Wait, why don't you just go to the jewel over that? It's amazing. You just like T.J.'s more.

I've had bad experiences with jewel meat. Who hasn't? Jesus. Jewel meat is not an appealing phrase. No. Julesco meat. But so, Joanna, you're considering, and what is the name of the company you currently work for? You mind saying it? I work for a university here now.

Oh, which one? University of Chicago? Yes, University of Chicago. Well, I don't think that pullover is going to work because it'll seem like you're a student. True. But I do think, like, a staff polo would stand out as different than like a merchandise shirt that like a student might have? I don't know. I have like a name tag.

Oh, if you have a name tag, that's perfect. Okay. So I could do something like that. I do also like the idea of the wine, though. I think it'd be kind of funny if I, like, bought Trader Joe's wine. and gave it to them. I think that's really fun. Two buck chuck.

And yeah, I could do flowers too. I don't know. It does require me to, like, approach them, which scares me, but I'm willing to try, yeah. Here's why I think you should. Like break the silence. Yes. Here's why I think you should.

They liked you enough to hire you. They wanted you part of the team. You got weird, but you're going to live in that neighborhood for a while, and you're going to, they're going to work there for a while. So bite the bullet, wear the uniform and say, sorry I never came in. You know what I would actually do? I would go overly sincere. I really, really loved the opportunity to work here and work with you guys,

but I got this job and I didn't know how to say it. So it's three months late, and that's why I'm getting you $2.1 to say, I'm sorry. Plus the I page. And then they'll go like, they'll literally go, this is a non-issue. Okay, because it really is. It really is just me overthinking this at the end of the day, but this would help my shopping experience moving forward. Let me ask you a question, Tray.

Are you going to actually do this and what are you going to do? I will actually do this. I think that next time I go, I'll buy a couple bottles of wine. And even if they're there that time, like I can just check out and then walk up to the desk or whatever. Yes. And try to get it over with, like right up. after checking out.

And what are you going to say? And I mean, I think I'm going to just say, hey, like, I know this might seem really late, and it is. But I'm sorry for never following up with you guys. Just wanted to thank you because I really enjoyed talking to you in the interview experience. And I hope you found, like, someone else, you know, I'm sure you found someone else crazy. I would also mention that you got a job at the university and you've been fucking slammed. That's a good idea.

Joanna, can I just say one thing I want you to be conscious of? I think this all sounds great. And I think it's so cool that you're building up the courage and ready to do it. I would maybe be prepared, though, that, like, they might appreciate this gesture so much that they might become a very big part of your life. And so just know that that could happen that, like, they might want to get drinks after or some point. That's true. This might turn it in the other direction,

and it might ruin the trainer Joe's for you. Or they're going to insist, they're going to make you an offer you can't refuse to be part of the family. Joanna, I've got another pitch, because I'm now hearing Kyle's thing, I wouldn't want that. You don't want it every time.

You'd have to like, every time you'd go in, yeah, you'd have to like, hey, there she is. Yeah, there's like constantly, uh. You know what I would do, Joanna? Big headphones. Yeah. They can be plugged into nothing. Two eyepatches.

But I would just have a big pair of headphones that you carry with you and you walk in, you put them in. Okay. So you have straight avoid the whole situation. I would now, because thinking about what Kyle said, I think if I almost hired somebody then three months later they gave me a bottle of wine

and apology, now I would feel weird not going out of my way to talk to them every time. I got one more. This is just to burn the bridge. You're still allowed to be a customer, but nobody's going to want to talk to you. Why don't you start dressing like you work at the Trader Joe's? Get a name tag, wear a patterned shirt, tuck it in.

You're a lunatic, yes. And you have it there, and they'll be like, did we hire her? No. And they'll be like, no. And be like, stay away from her. We dodge the bullet. I don't hate the act crazy routine. All you got to do, also go on the Iowa and they just start yelling.

Just weird out one day. Have a pen behind your ear? Like inventory was on your thing that day. A fake trader Joe's employees pretty good. Trader Joanna. So Joanna, what are you kind of thinking? We pitched going in a direction. We pitched the other direction.

You liked the wine and confronting them. But what are you thinking? What are you going to do? No, but after Kyle brought that up, I do agree. Like, that is something I should be prepared for. and while I'm open to having like friendship with them I guess that would also like ruin the experience in a different way potentially so um I think that like I do like the idea of just complete avoidance like wearing headphones or something my only issue with that is like when I'm checking out it's kind of difficult because they're normally like very talkative at the register um but I could kind of just keep when I keep doing what I've been doing and like try to keep my back to the desk and like not look over there as much as possible lean into being Scarface. You're the fucking bad guy.

You're the bad girl, a traitor Joe's. Yeah. Yeah. From Joel Osco. Yeah. I kind of like the actually going straight up all Jewel Osco. And hopefully it leads into a joke with them.

You know what I would do? Get a Jewel Osco employee's outfit. Yes. So you're wearing the Jewel Osco with a fake. So they go like, oh, she's our competitor. Wow. And they'll probably, yeah. I was just going to say, they'll probably still have a soft spot for you because, like, oh,

Joanna works for the competitor, but she still comes here. Yeah, exactly. So, like, there's some. They're divided. There's some tragedy, but there's also some positivity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I like that. I'm looking at, like, the employee uniform for a. dual oscar right now and i think it'd be pretty easy to recreate if you do it will you take a photo of yourself you could just walk by that help desk and just go fuck the beef and give them a wink they will know they'll know so joanna what are you going to do many options okay so many amazing options i genuinely think i'm going to try to recreate a dual osco you know for them and

just wear it every single time but I go. Jake, tell what we need. We need photos. We need photos of you and your Jewel Osco ensemble. Obviously.

I can make that happen. Yeah. It might even be worth putting the phone in a pocket and giving us a POV as you walk through Trader Joe's looking like the NASCAR driver of Jewel. We need you to go through the Jewel Osco too.

So that they all go like, this is fucking nutcase. I think that's Ms. Osco. Also, for Halloween. You're Ms. Hasco. Okay. Just lean in.

You're everything you love, Jewel Osco. You just don't shop there. Exactly. Exactly. I'm just creating more problems at more grocery stores. Yeah. Good. All right, Jan, we'll do it.

Dress in the Jewel Osco and then follow up with us. See if they say anything. We'll do. Thank you guys so much. I don't think we helped. I think we had fun. You do. Okay.

I'm really better. Well, if it works, let us know what happens, because this could be an interesting way. Definitely. Thank you, Dr. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money too. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up with crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees, and free perks that actually cost more in the long run, and I switched to MintMobile.

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and a freeze willing knife, which is $144.99-cent value on your third box. Offer valid while supplies less. Free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only varies by plan. Hello, somebody here? Hello. How are you? Good.

How are you? Good. Can we get your name, please? Hannah. Hannah. What I'm going to go by today is Hannah. We got two people here. Okay.

Sorry, my name is Roman. Hannah and Roman, are you guys together? We are. Well, we're in the same vicinity. We're in the same space. And Hannah, where are you calling from? New York. New York.

And how old are you? Oh, man. Older than 30, less than 40. Okay. We're going to say mid-3s. You got Gareth and I, and you've got the incredibly funny Kyle Mooney. He and his buddy, Beck Bennett, have the podcast. What's our podcast?

I just did it with Lamarne. You got to check it out. Hannah, what can we do for today? So, Roman and I have a friend. We'll call him Eugene. And he just wears these fingerless gloves all the time. In the winter. Like, in the winter.

And we don't know. And he doesn't take them off inside. We don't understand their purpose. And he has multiple pairs. So we just, we would like some advice on how to get him to either stop wearing them or at least take them off when he's inside. Because he's like, I mean, he never takes them off. We don't even think he takes them off to use the bathroom. Okay.

So you got a buddy who just wears gloves without fingers on them? So look. Yeah, like those general cheap cotton gloves, but like with no fingertips. Cool. And they're thin. They're so thin. very thin. Okay.

You guys hate them. We, yes, and we just don't understand their purpose. I mean, we're in New York. It's negative four degrees. What is he, uh, what does Eugene do for work? He does, like, IT stuff. Roman, we love you, but hold on.

Let Hannah answer just for a second. All right. Can you say again what, what he does, Hannah? He does IT work. IT work. Okay. Wow. that's a fucking, that's a look for IT.

Exactly. Yeah. I mean, he's a little eclective. He's a little nerdy. With the gloves. Yeah, they're just, and it's a rotating couple of pairs. He even has them. They're homemade.

We just really don't understand the perfect. And so you're just, you just hate his fingerless gloves, Hannah. We don't, I don't want to use the word hate, but we just really don't like them. And we're very confused by them. We don't understand. their purpose and why he doesn't take them off when he's inside or choose the bathroom. Carl, you got any feelings

on fingerless gloves? I'll be honest. I have some slight... I knew a man who wore fingerless gloves pretty often. I kind of liked it because he looked sort of like a bad guy from the Ninja Turtles or something like that. He looked sort of futuristic.

But I definitely hear you. My immediate thought is like... I mean, I was confronted recently by somebody who is sort of I would maybe call a friend, maybe an acquaintance, I don't know where they lie, but they were like,

they remarked on a piece of clothing I was wearing and was like, you need to change this. Is that true? It is, it is true. What were you wearing? I actually don't even want to go into the specifics of it, but something that is on me all of the time, like these fingerless gloves.

But I had to take it in and be like, and she's like, oh, I'll take you shopping. What? At first, I was, I was rather defensive, but then I opened up to the idea and like, I think there is, I started to sort of reframe the thinking of my head like, oh, you know, maybe it's, could be worth it to try something new, even if it doesn't feel totally right. So I think there is space to be like how, to just sort of come at it in a very earnest way. just be like, how do you feel about the fingeus gloves?

Because we don't know that they're working. Well, I can definitely tell you that he's not giving off bad guy villain vibes in any way or form. It doesn't look like a tough guy. And, I mean, right, I just don't, I don't, we don't want to hurt his feelings. Right. So I didn't know if it was something where, I don't know.

Do we all just start wearing them and then taking them off? Or do we all just start wearing them until they notice it? I think we could pitch on this. You know, it's hard for me because, Kyle, I'm different than that, in that I'm not a great dresser. But if somebody comments on it, I don't think I would have that same approach that you had. My approach. Go ahead. Sorry, please.

No, your approach being like, let me think about that. There could be some validity to their thought. And let me see if maybe I can change. I would get really defensive. Yeah. Like even this shirt I'm wearing right now, I've been teased on it a few times, but I just really like the feel of it.

And if I get teased on it, I wear it more. So if somebody said to me, don't wear fingerless gloves, I'm like, all I would ever wear is fingerless gloves then. The thing is that it's not like one art. It's not like a shirt, which, by the way, your shirt looks great, Jake. It's like this guy's aesthetic is this look.

it's a harder way in. I have a pitch that maybe gets you away from the directness if you want to avoid it. I love

those restaurant makeover shows or anything Gordon Ramsey does and the main way that those shows will dissuade

behavior is bacteria. If you're saying that this guy's shitting with these gloves on essentially, maybe there's

way for you guys to say you got a bacteria reader. And by the way, when like John Taffer reads the bacteria levels, he's like, it's 1,400 parts per million, which the math, the numbers make no sense. You just know it's bad. So you could get something that you say is reading bacteria. You guys just wanted to clean your place. And then you ask about the gloves, you do a reading on the gloves, or you do it realistically. And I mean, his gloves are going to be covered in shit. You might be onto something, Hannah, you could have him over and be doing something disgusting that he could have used gloves for because I do think there's a practical reason to do fingerless gloves, especially in the age of technology.

You can't screen with, you can't move a fucking screen with gloves on, but he can do all his technology stuff, but it is not protecting the fingers. Yeah. The other thing you could do is you could gift him a pair of gloves that are really, nice that if he cut the fingers out he's a fucking maniac. A nice pair of leather gloves. Because if you got him like a nice pair of $70 leather gloves and just said,

we think you would look so handsome in these. And then overcompany. I don't know if I want to spend $70. I like where you're going. I mean, but you got to do something. Kyle, without getting into the details, Can you walk us through what happened with yours and how it was approached

in case we go that direction? It was in a professional setting. Okay. And it was a person who I think is sort of, I want to say, tells it like it is. And so that's part of their persona. Okay. And there was my glasses.

They said you could have better glasses. Oh. And again, I feel like I just described. I think it may be helped because, like, this is a person I'm friendly with, and I know the way they perceive the world. But I feel like it's happened before where people have said, like, you've got to change this thing.

And it is, like you said, always hurtful. It doesn't feel right. No, not at all. It's terrible. Gutteral reaction is definitely to be defensive. because like I think for most of us, and I'm sure with the fingerless gloves, it's like this makes me feel comfortable.

This makes me feel like who I am. It's a wimby. It's a blanky. He's also like, I'm cooler in him. Well, okay, I have another alt pitch. Okay. And this could be a twofer. Since there's two of you,

Hannah, you could ask if Roman could try on his fingerless gloves to see what he would look like. and then compliment the shit out of his hands. And just be like, you have, like, just be like, oh my God, you have beautiful. It's like when someone with a great head of hair wears a hat. Or like someone with a sick, you know what I mean? It's like, if you just basically are like,

you have beautiful hands. Dude, don't cover those. What are you doing? This is like a selling feature for you. By the way, I like this as opposed to the straight talk as to not hurt his feelings, over complimenting the other. part of his knuckles and going like, hey man, if you're the kind of guy that your fingers are

out, that means you're not getting warmer. I would not cover those palms if I were you. And you could play that you could do the thing where, you know, you're complimenting him and Roman goes, she has a thing for hands. And you go, I seriously love him. And then Roman goes, all right, you know what? I don't ever hear you talk about my hands like this. And you're like, look, I'm telling you.

But by the way, then she roast Roman's hands. Roman and he's like, my hands are, and you both go, look, his hands are better than my hands. You're over-complement. Why are you covering up these beauties? You should be out there. You're going to get approached with how good your hands look. You know what you actually could do is you could actually set up and have a third person, have a few people all in that moment just being like, you know, they did something.

I saw this thing on this American life where it's all about like these guys went and it was a fake band. there was a real band, and they pretended to be diehard fans. Oh. And they memorized all the band's songs, and the guys got to New York did the first show. And all of a sudden there was like a packed theater of people who knew their songs. Wow. There could be a thing that you get a few people in on it,

and it's Eugene as model hands. We could totally accomplish that. He's not a group of people that would be in for that. I mean, if you set up a magic, like a lot of magic comes when the glove came off, you know, call me, Jean. What do you think about, and you had brought this up, Hannah, briefly, but I know if there's somebody who thinks they have a cool style and somebody copies it, but does it worse, it ruins it. What if you started doing fingerless gloves but made it a whole thing like it was your personality? And so you begin, so that the fingerless gloves thing, the coolness of it was taken away by how kind of lame you are about it. Yeah.

I think that the idea of complimenting his hands when he takes them off is fantastic. We definitely have a group of people that would get behind us in that and support it and make it a whole thing. So I really like that idea. All right, then try that and follow up with us. See what happens. Absolutely. All right. Thank you guys.

Thank you. Kyle, thank you for joining the podcast, buddy. Thank you, Kyle. Thanks for having me, guys. Hope you have a great time. Bye, everybody. Appreciate it, bud. We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds.

If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're here to help. You can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, do stand up on the road. Go to garethrenolds.com.

Remember all of the advice given on we're here to have. help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast. That was a hate gum podcast.