We're Here to Help - 268: Perfect For Each Other & Losers Helping Losers

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

Jake and Gareth stumble onto a shocking bathroom situation. Then, they help an accountant get what she's owed at tax season. Plus, a follow-up from Ep 255 "Monitor Swap (with David Krumholtz)."Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This episode is sponsored by the great Squarespace. We love Squarespace here at the show. We are constantly using Squarespace to build different websites for the show that support the show, that support or corroborate some of the show's BS. Again, we've never promised we're very good at giving advice, but Squarespace helps corroborate what we're going for. We have a new website that's not for us.

It's for hot takes. Some members of the community have written in. We've been on an email chain and they wanted to start a website. And we wanted to do it for hop takes. So this is a SquareSpace-made website. SquareSpace offers tons of stuff. They offer cutting-edge design. So your website is going to look cool.

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And when you are ready to launch, use offer code Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. And we are back back. And we are back. We're here. And we are back. Okay. Jake.

So I wanted to walk you through something. And I think you'll, it's show related. So I did the waxing, right? Yes. That happened, the old Wowie session. By the way, are you doing, were you doing a tiny shock?

glass of coffee earlier. Did I see that? Yeah. Okay. I'm limiting it again. Okay. And, you know, I haven't gone back for the waxing since. Okay.

So it's grown back? I think so, yeah. I think it's safe to say that... You could see. Yeah. Well, I'm talking about the back. Okay, but the front. Front's back.

Yeah. I've had to do that. So, Gere, the back's back. Thank you. This is why it's got a compliment. Okay. So, uh, So I'm in the hotel and I, you know, they still haven't most hotels figured out the do not disturb technology on the handle.

Like if you shut the door, sometimes it falls off, you know. So I do the yoga with the head phone. I'll do like yoga on my phone and I'll have like the headphones in. and you know a hotel is difficult. Like space-wise, there's not a lot of rooms, especially if you're doing yoga. Especially if you're sharing a room with another guy. I'm not sharing a room at this time.

Okay, that's important to the story. It is. Yes. So I'll do the headphones in normally because I have to, like, put the phone, you know, prop it up somewhere as the speaker gets covered, whatever. You're going to flag this behavior right off the bat. Everyone's going to hate what I'm about to say. but I'll normally do

because I'm limited on clothes. I'm using a towel as the yoga mat essentially on the floor. Are you honestly doing yoga naked in a hotel room? Yes. You swear to God? Natalie, don't. Natalie, go away.

Wait, is this real? This is real. Is it carpeted? Yes, but I have the towel on the floor. You're not getting the whole area, brother. No, but you're moving it around a little. I'll take a cup. You're sweaty butt juice is going on the floor.

It's not sweaty. nobody's sweating. It's not hot yoga, but I am naked. I'm not towels. Why don't you put underpants on if you're not sweating? Because I'm trying to limit the clothes usage. I'm milking every day possible. What the fuck? There's more to this.

There's more to this. I know. Someone's going to walk in and you're going to not know if they saw your butt if it was shaved or not. No, no, no. My butt is to the door. And the door opens. And the door opens. And a maid entered without, or maybe she not.

You should be in jail. I'm in my room. Open the door. Open the door. And then the door shut. Natalie, your thoughts. I don't want Natalie's thoughts. Natalie's thoughts.

It's so gross. I agree. It's horrible. This is a dirty-ass hotel floor. You're not wearing any clothes. The towel is not that big. They're tiny hotel towels. It's not a beach towel.

First of all, I have a couple of hand towels up a little bit spread. I'm not making direct nude body contact with the floor one time. I honestly don't understand. Hold on. Hold on. Don't get defensive. How can I not get defensive? Because we're not turning this into a yelling intro.

Yeah. You can't add so much insanity and then just get loud. Okay. Why can't you wear a pair of underpants? I could. But you said, Gareth, you're not sweating. Not. So therefore...

So why did you take your underwear off? You were wearing underwear before, weren't you? Yes. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe sleeping naked. I don't know. And now your point...

Hold on. But no, you have underpants. You take them off, put headphones in, and then don't do the latch lock? Latch lock. No. You're walking. You want somebody to walk in on you. No, I do not.

This is assault. It's not a salt. This is a salt. The poor woman has a terrible job. You know what I've learned about this podcast with Eric and Steve on theirs too? Eric was talking about there was an intervention because, and then another thing he said was he gets like chili oil over the, on the bed sheets.

That was horrible. That's a monster. Oh, yeah. Eating it, but you're like, no, no, no. No, those two Chinese food. Those two sheets like napkins. It's disgusting. You have no, you're grosser.

Nothing to stand on. You're gross. A towel from the bedroom. Naked yoga in a holiday inn express is disgusting, my king. I'll say this. Look, this is, I wanted it for you. For the poor person who is to be in there after you. They're not cleaning those floors.

I, I, I, I, 100% of it. There's a soft vacuum, king. I'm telling you, there's towels down. And I want to be very clear because I'm saying it again, there's towels down. Okay. So let's stop running away from facts here because there's towels down. Also, this is not a joke now But I know at a certain point

We had skims as a sponsor Can you send this to Anna at Headgum And ask that they send Gareth more underpants So he doesn't run out of underpants on the road This 1930s Great Depression era maniac Well, I didn't want to waste my underpants while I was on the road So I took off the clothes What?

Jake slowly got a new angle there's some chum in the water and shark Jake is swimming around 1930s Gareth looks like it's depression era and I'll be honest you're not wrong. That's crazy. I will now wear underwear. I will wear underwear. I will wear more underwear.

Thanks for saying that like it's a big statement. Dude, that's so cool. Here's why this is a great intro. It's a regular problem that a lot of people have and you guys gave some great pitches and I'm going to wear underwear from now on. Nobody has this problem. Nobody. And then guess what?

Three people will comment and be like, I get it. Okay. It's a relatable problem. That's what it is. So enjoy the what? No, no. Is there an end to this story? What did you do?

Yeah, I talked to two friends of mine on my podcast and they're going to give me more underwear. And I'm going to wear it when I do yoga. I'll tell you what happened. Afterwards, he goes, whoa, somebody might have walked in. And I don't know if my asshole has hair in it because even though the front grew, I don't know if butthole hair grows at the same speed, and this is a real question he had. Right now he's going to do a silly voice to pretend to be on top of it,

but he thought at the beginning, I don't have eyes that can see my butthole, so maybe there's no hair there, but it's hair. You could either feel it or not, so he goes, so maybe they saw a shaved butt or a hairy butt. Who's to say? What would you have preferred, Gareth, if she saw your butthole naked or covered in hair?

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Hi. What is your name, please? My name's Jacob. Jacob. You go by Jacob? Sometimes I've never really gone by. Jake. I don't know why. I've always been adamant about the Jacob thing, but some people call me Jake. I respect the hell out of that. Well, it's not too late. How old are you, Jacob? We could make a twist if we wanted.

I don't know. I mean, 30 is kind of old to make that die. 30? Don't you think? 30 is too old to make a name change. Last throws. Yeah, but in your 30s, no more big changes. That's, that's, that's, Gareth doesn't agree. That is definitely, that is definitely how Jake feels. This is kind of who you are. Anything is like... No nose rays in your late 30s. No microwaving the dish. Eat it cold.

It's over. Enough's enough. What are you doing? The seasoning... The marinade that you did for the first 30 is. They already seasoned it. It's over. Now it's too much.

Now it's too much. All right. Jacob 30. Where are you calling from, but? I'm in Kansas. Beautiful. All right, Jacob 30, Kansas. What can we do for you?

What's going on? Well, I had something embarrassing happened last week. Yeah, exactly the last week, last Thursday. Where, so my girlfriend at the time, she's now my fiance since this past week, I proposed. Way to go. Thank you. We had that winter storm recently, and our furnace was making some interesting noises. So we called our landlord, and they sent a guy out.

And then basically he worked on the furnace and he was like, okay, well, I have to replace a part and whatnot, you know. And like, I'll come back out in a week and he left. And then after that, he turned up the heat to work on it, I guess. So it was like 76 degrees in the house, which is, oh my gosh, so hot. And we have two bathrooms in our house, one upstairs, one downstairs. The upstairs bathroom door was shut. So it was super hot in there. I didn't want to go to the bathroom in there because I desperately had to go.

So I went to the bathroom downstairs, which is directly across from the furnace. So I went down there with my phone in my pocket. I usually wear my Apple Watch, but I wasn't wearing it for whatever reason. So I didn't really get any notifications. But I took a book, which is super rare. I'm getting into reading. So I was reading a book on the toilet and where things go bad. is I, my, my fiance and I leave the bathroom doors open.

We're not very private with each other. Ew. I know. Hey, Jacob, can I pitch on that? Yeah, Jake, we will be pitching on that. Get to the end, but 100% with you here. There's a problem you don't even see that needs to be fixed. Your furnace is the least of your issues.

All right. It's 76 degrees. It smells terrible. The door's open. Close the door. It's nice and hot in here. Let's get that aroma cooking. All right, keep going, Jacob.

So you're there. You guys got into reading. Yep. Yep. I got him reading. And then so I'm down there. I've got the door open. And then I hear steps coming down the stairs.

So, of course, I think it's either, you know, my fiance or one of our dogs or something coming down the stairs, you know, door wide open, whatever. And lo and behold, the HVAC guy. Comes around the corner. Oh, my God. All exposed, pants down, doing my business, reading a book. Oh, my God. Absolutely.

That's humiliating, Jacob. This is so bad. Having a HVAC guy see you taking a dump is a nightmare. It's also, I can't believe the idea that we even have to tell people, shut the, there's a thousand reasons to shut the door. I agree. Someone's working on stuff in your house. The door.

And you're just like, I was just going to sit here and have a crap and read. Well, okay. He left the house left. No, I get you, Jake. No, what Gareth is saying is it's not about the HVAC guy. It's about the door is there for a reason. But again, that's not what this calls about. We've made our point very clear on that really quickly.

What book were you reading? Oh, my gosh. It was, let me see here. What book was, Jake? It's the new Mark Hoppice book, Farringtite 182, from Blink 182, the bass player. Perfect book to be reading while taking the dump with the door open. Blink 182, you're doing Stink 76. We're good.

So he, okay, so take us back to where we were, Jacob. He walks downstairs, the door's open, you're dropping heat. What happens? Yeah. So tons of things went wrong here. Of course, you know, none of this would have happened if I went to the bathroom upstairs. He wouldn't have seen that at all. But, you know, I did the rare thing that went downstairs. But so we, we, it got even worse because that bathroom door downstairs opens out, not in. So I can't close the door. Right. You're trapped. I'm so sorry So you know how the door

Sometimes the door can swing into the bathroom This door goes out into the hallway So you would have to do the stand Well he yeah he can't He could do the like one step grab If it went in but he's got to do like a crab walk And with the pants at the ankles With your hog flopping around in a dirty bun

You're in a situation for a rock biography in his hand Yeah and if you fall there Jacob Yeah Yep. Yeah, I'm with you. Don't do the reach. I would. But also, by the way,

but by the way, Jake, sitting there is also insane. I mean, to just be, to have, and be like, how are you? Yeah, pretty good. Or you say,

mind closing the door, but then it makes it feel like he's the creep. Yeah. Hey, pal, shut the door. That's a loss. That's a loss.

Like he's, he's the crazy guy. Yeah. Hey, Jesus Christ, dude, shut the door. This is crazy. I'm reading Blink 182 and taking a shit

in my house. Shut the door. Someone in here. And he goes, and then he would have to go like this. I'm sorry? Occupido. Yeah.

So that's crazy, Jacob. So what happens? You see him. You're taking a dump and what happens? So he's also on the phone with my landlord

because he needed to get, you know, the serial number for the part or whatever and get a quote. Okay. So he's on the phone with my landlord. He doesn't want to say anything. We just make awkward eye contact.

Oh, no. The corner. again and then I don't know You pretend it didn't happen? Yeah, he's pretending like it didn't happen but then he comes back around and he closes the door for me

Jacob, there's no bottom here. This is insane. By the way, Garrett, you're right. There's no bottom. I mean, you could not be, it was already horrible but now this guy's like, hey, you're out of your mind. He just, he faked it and then just went,

by the way, this smells, he was probably like, this is atrocious. By the way, by the way, I can't work like this It's a door I can't work like this Why have a door Why shit down here

I'm fixing your furnace You maniac There's a guy in your house You don't know I want him to call this show Not you Jacob Honestly This guy should be calling this show

This guy should be calling the show Be like I gotta go back there What do I do if he's doing it again I would say quit the job He's a psycho No Jacob so then what happens Okay

So he tries to shut the door but it's also in the same area as our laundry room. And for some reason, I just hung hoodies on both the knots. The door can't even shut properly. I have to do the little get up. Oh, my God. You did the crap walk. I'm holding the door.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So I'm holding it. I'm listening and I'm waiting for him to leave. He eventually does leave. I hear steps go upstairs. I wait a little longer, of course. and then I'm just like so embarrassed

and my fiance is upstairs. I'm like, why didn't you stop him? The idea. How, by the way, how could you blame her? How dare you? The idea that she has any culpability for what you just did. She is back there. Yeah, Jacob.

How, by the way, I warned you twice. What is who hurt you? Honestly. Who you? Okay. Okay, that's insane. Insane.

Jesus. This is like a drug addict being like, everyone did this. You know what I, this one actually feels like we're in a rehab facility and this is day one. Yeah. And we're like making eye contact, writing stuff down, like for sure. You and me are the weird counselor guys. We're going like this guy's out of control. And you're like, Jacob, you're the guy going, you think I need help?

Yeah. Jake yells at you. I come back in a little bit. Let me tell you what the HVAC guy did. No. Let me tell you what my. My fiance did. No, Jacob.

It's all you, brother. It's all me. I am the problem. Yeah. So, Jacob, you do the weird hold. He leaves. You go upstairs. You yell at your beautiful fiancé.

She's going like, I've always wanted you to close the door in the first place. She's also like a week ago. I attached myself to you forever. Yeah, really fast, Jacob. Can you put the fiancé on the phone for just a second? Yeah, yeah, she's right here. Yeah, throw her on. I got to ask her a quick question.

Hello. Hey, how are you? Can we get your name, please? Good. Amber. Quick question. Whose idea is it to leave the bathroom door open around your fiancé while you guys are taking dumps? Well, have you smelled him?

It's got to air out. And the dogs like to join him. That is, Jake. Wait, hold on, Amber. Is there a worse answer? You guys are perfect. Is there a worse answer than what just happened? No.

Spread the smell wealth? Because the dogs need to hang out in there? No, and also because it's so bad, you need to air it throughout the whole house, not just the bathroom. Is that the logic, Amber? You kids. Amber. Get out of the bathroom. Wait, Amber, Amber.

Is your logic, because his dumps smells so bad, you need to keep the bathroom door open so that it can take over the whole house? No, I don't get trapped in the bathroom. So when I go in there, it's not still lingering. It's got to air out. Amber, Amber, are you familiar with oil spills? Have you ever seen an oil spill? Do you ever notice that they try to get it out as they try to stay? They don't go.

Let it spread. It won't be that much oil as long as it goes everywhere. How about a fire? About a fire. Just let it burn everything. It'll Tucker itself out sooner or later. Quick question. And we'll, of course, get to this problem.

But my God, this bomb got dropped on us. Yeah. Do you have a, just pitching? Do you have a window in the bathroom? It's a great call, Jake. We do. It's in the shower. Okay, hey, hey, amps.

Let's do this. It's in the shower. It's okay. Quit saying it's in the shower like it makes your policy okay. What are you talking about? Agreed, but we're not going to drown. But Jake, we really, I mean, these kids are lucky they found us. It's crazy.

They need us. You guys need us more than anyone's ever needed it. It's just this. Even the dogs are furious. The dogs like, we don't want to hang out of there. The shower window. It's torture. You know why the dogs go in that bathroom, Amber?

They're trying to open the shower window. So Amber. The H-Back guys with two hounds behind him. Please. So, Amber, the door to the bathroom, let's close it, yeah, and let's crack the bathroom window. So that smell goes outside, not throughout the house. Can we agree to that? We'll try.

No, no, why we try? Now, Amber, when you go to the bathroom, do you close the door? Jake, you don't want any answer to this. She doesn't. No, she doesn't because... Why, Amber? Our bathroom is super tiny, so when you close the door, you're kind of squished. This is...

Kind of squished. Listen to me, Amber, and this is for Jacob, too, who clearly he... Listen, he's behind yelling like you do it, like you're... Neither one of you should be doing this. The bathroom is a space for one thing. You don't, you kids don't need room to lay down on the floor. Shut the door, which we know opens out into the hallway. So it's not like your super cramped.

That's the downstairs one. Either way. There's no point in trying to make this room. It's not a rumpus room. Just close the door. The whole point of it is for one thing. Get in and out. Amber, when you hear that from Gareth, which I think is really smart, what do you think?

what I was what do you think when you hear that from Gareth I don't know Amber let me ask you a quick question we're going to just cut through all this stuff because Jake the comments will be like I think it's lovely yeah who cares

then the comments are wrong I completely agree so Amber why don't you close the door when you take dumps well my dogs come in and

sometimes I I like to put my legs out and it's stretched. Yeah, we don't want the dog scratching the door. Listen to him coaching. Explain what you mean about put your legs out and stretching. That's where I'm flagging. How long are you in there? How tall are you?

What are you guys, eight feet tall? What are you talking about? We're five, six. All right, Amber, here's what we're going to do. We're going to get off this bomb because I think it's just going to kill us all. And can we go back to Jacob? It was lovely to talk to you. We're happy that you're happy.

And you know what I'll tell you, Amber? I'm happy you guys found each other. Oh, for sure. Because you cannot be like out there searching for a partner who's into open door crapping. Because you like to put your legs out. Because you like the dogs want to smell it. You want to get fur involved.

Yeah. So let's, Amber, thank you. Let's go back to Jacob. And Gareth, let's just get to the question. We have not gotten anywhere near the question. It's disgusting. What is the official question we can help you with? Okay.

The official question is, how do I apologize to this guy in two different ways? I could either do it in person if I'm the guy here when he has to replace the part. Or do I leave him a note when Amber's here? Yeah. Well, first of all, that's a great question, and we can pitch on that. Absolutely. I'm going to say no way do you do it in person. and I'll tell you why

I don't want to And you shouldn't Because first of all You're not making any changes It could happen again What do you mean he's not making any changes He's going to keep shit in with the door open No I need to make a change

Because Her Amber's sister Is going to start going to school here in our town And she has to stay at our house sometimes So I need to make this change Okay

This is This The first of all The degree of seriousness that this has taken. I love Jacob. I do too. If only someone would invent a piece of wood that went in that door zone. They had a handle.

And I had like a handle and a thing, like an option to. Closed perfectly. Yeah, like shut you off from the other parts. You know what I mean? I don't know. I have to figure something out that I could have privacy while going to the bathroom. But then it would smell. But you could put like a window.

Yeah, go ahead. But that goes outside. You should smelt from the house. Very much. Very, very true. Very true. This hasn't started until her and I moved into this house. I haven't done this any other time.

I don't know why we started. Understood. So let's just go to you, Jacob, because I got to tell you, we're not going to get through to Amber. Yeah. Yeah. And that's another call that we're not qualified to help with. But to you, sir, close the fucking door when you take a dump.

Yes. You hear me? I know. Jacob, do you hear me? I hear you. I don't give a fuck if the dogs want to go in there and lick your goddamn ass. When you're taking a dump, the door is closed. If the dogs bark, put them in another room.

Yeah. Dogs will go like this. Huh, I want to be in there. Yeah. And then you're like this. No. You created the condition where they think that's how this goes. You need to take it.

You need to take the power back. And I heard you say in the background, Jacob, they're scratching it. I've gone through this with my cat. put something over the door that prevents the scratch. This is just, you call this for a different reason, but this really has to be a wake-up call. This is an intervention, brother. This is an intervention because now she's bringing her sister in.

If she starts crapping with the door open, all bets are off. This is like a TLC show. What is your wife going to lay on the toilet while taking a dump? I just, the spreading out part will affect us forever, obviously. Yeah, it's not okay. But again, Jake, let's focus. on the problem. Now, the question is how do we...

But first, yes, but hold on, but first, because you're right, Gareth, and we're going to get there. Jacob, as your lawyer, I got a piece of paper in front of you. Will you sign you, personally, will always close the door upstairs and downstairs? And if there's jackets and sweatshirts on the door, you take them off before

you take a dump. That's what people do. Well, you just don't know what a door is. I think it's like a hanger. Yeah, so Jacob, Can we get you to agree from here on out? You, sir. Oh, guess what? Bring the dogs in before.

Lock them in. I'm not going to co-sign that, but if that's all we get, okay. But if that's part of it, who cares? And then what you're going to start doing is you're going to open up the window in the shower and the smells are going to go outside where they belong. Can we get you to agree to that? And just to start. I will sign that.

You swear to God. swear to God if you ever are in the bathroom and the door is open I want you to make a voice note and go I made a mistake I'm sorry

I'm keeping the door open because I'm a lunatic I'm a mad person I'm insane and I just want to apologize to the we're here to help community and send it to us

we'll air it at the end of episodes and then at the end go one if we get to five Jacob if we get to five we're going to figure You're out a real punishment here. Yeah. We're going to get you a porta party,

and you're going to be going outside like a construction worker. You might have to dig a goddamn hole. You want to be an animal? We'll treat you like an animal. Yeah. Okay? But you can fix this problem right away. And I will also say,

I think we should be trying to coach Amber in that direction as well. I mean, I really do. Be included. All right, let's put her on the phone. I just think it's got to be a community. This is like two people have to stop drinking for them to all quit. If they starts going sideways, we got to get better. I agree.

I have stuff. I want to talk about it. I want to get to the problem. Garrett, go ahead. Talk to Amber. Amber, look, we're talking to Jacob here, and you seem like great kids and we're really happy for you and all that, obviously. We're just trying to clean up a thing that I think long term is going to not only be helpful for your relationship, but for when people come over and experience the love you two have created. We're getting Jacob in the zone right now where he's agreeing to close the door when he's in there. Okay? So he's going to close the door when he's in there.

That's a big deal for us. Can you also commit to trying to shut that door when you're in so that we're not, so that it doesn't feel like you're still having a cocktail with dinner. Garrett, he can't drink. Let me jump in. Yeah, help me, man. You're being really nice. There's a lot of words. Hey, Amber, close the fucking door when you take a shit. Exactly. Okay, I don't want to hear, Amber, I don't want to hear about the dogs.

I don't want to hear about stretching. Close the fucking door when you take a shit. Just quickly. What do you mean stretching out? What are you doing in there? Yoga? Well, like, if I'm sitting there and my legs don't always reach the floor, so I'll kick them up. You said you're 5-6.

Your leg should always reach the floor. Get a Squatty potty. You don't have to sit there like Drew Barrymore on the Tonight Show at 6. Go ahead. She said she's 5-6 or if we hit the floor. Squatty potty. She doesn't need a squatty pot. She needs to put your fucking feet on the floor.

Hey, Amber. Can we get you to agree? When you take dumps, you close. the door. Can I get you? I'm your lawyer right now. You will. Okay. So now, will you make a promise to me in this community and we got people on Thailand listening. If you ever, if you ever find yourself in that toilet and you've started and the door is open, when you're done, you grab your phone, you make a voice note. You apologize. You say, I have taken a dump with the door open because I have a problem with this and you number it and then send it to the show and layer everyone. I'm

to say we even need to go one bigger because they now have to hold each other accountable. If you catch one of the others, crapping with the door open, I want a picture. I want a picture. No, no, yes. Hold on. We can finish and then you can say, no, we can at least, we can put it on our Patreon. We can blur the faces. This is about you.

You want a photo of a dumb here. How dare you? You've been on this call with me the whole time. You think this is a fetish that I've been slow playing? Okay. But Amber, no, no pictures. But if Jacob does it, you. send a voice note, rat them out, and we'll get Jacob to do the same.

Can you agree to this? We agree. Starting immediately. Yes, that's today. That's the next crap that starts. Yes? Yep. So do me a favor.

Then say your name. It will beep out your last name. Then say, I agree that when I take a dump, I will close the door. I will not be bullied by the dogs. And if the smell is too intense, I will open up the shower window rather than the door. or airing it to the house. Will you say that for me, please? I, Amber,

we'll close the vacuum door, ignore the dogs, and open the shower window. Thank you. You're great. We appreciate you. Now can we go back to Jacob? This is going to be a big help, Amber.

And by the way, Jake, you know who the real winner of this call us is the sister? I mean, we just saved her. How about the dogs? Dogs, too, but the sister now doesn't have to go hang out in a saloon. How about anybody who goes to that house and eats in their kitchen? That's just... Amber, can we talk to the sweet Jacob, please?

Yeah, I'm back. Can I include something that happened yesterday that I also think goes into this? We would love it. So we went to her mom's house yesterday and all her sisters. I don't want to hear that her mom takes shits with the door open. Or that you accidentally crap there.

The sisters did. Oh, God, I can't. We can't do this with their whole family. We were sitting in the house. They came in. We were there before them. as they were picking them up from school. And one of them went in, went to the bathroom.

And Amber went, are you, are you going pee right now? And she was like, yeah. And she's like, Jacob's here. And she's like, oh, my gosh, I'll close the door. Oh, my God. Look, we can't. I have, I have 10 sisters. It's normal.

Wait, you said 10? Jake. Yes. How many brothers you got? I'm the middle child out of 13. You got 13 siblings growing up and people aren't closing doors? Jake, this is, Jake. You know what this is?

Amber, I'm going to be sick. Jake, this is like an episode of hoarders and we just found the attic. You got 13 kids in a house. Out of the 13, how many are closing doors? So my parents are divorced. Some are from my mom. Some are from my dad. On my own side, there's seven girls.

Oh, my God. I guarantee you that divorce has. happened because of this? I think it was part of it. Had to be part of it. One of them was like, look, I can't do this anymore. The parents will deny it forever. It's not the kid's fault, but sometimes it might be. Yes.

Yes. Somebody went like this. I can't do this. Everybody's shitting with the doors. If we don't have company, I'm not wearing clothes. There's no money in my family. You said you're not wearing clothes? Jake, Jake.

But hold on, Amber. What does that even mean? Like, you're just, you're like, I'm making deviled eggs and my ass is out. Is that what you mean, or do you mean like you might be in like underpants and a big shirt? Or is your little bush out while in the kitchen? You bushed deviled eggs while your sister's crapping with the door open? They're usually underwear on.

How about bras? Sometimes, depending if it's day or night. Amber, how about a shirt? You're just walking around with the boobs flopping around? What is the garden of the evening? What is the green? What is going on? But are you wearing underpants and no shirt just walking around the house?

Sometimes if it's hot. Taking dumps with the doors open? Oh, boy. It's not normal. We're really are normal. Okay. Look, look. We're very clean.

Now, hold on. You are not, Jacob. For God's sake. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you've got hoodies hanging on your crap factory door. Jacob. And it's 76 degrees.

I don't have a problem. I don't have a problem. You're crap smells that go through the house like a pie and a Looney Tunes cartoon. He yelled, I don't have a problem. But here's my question, and then we've got to get to this. My question is, Jacob, did you grow up crapping with the door open? Or was this learned from Amher? He married into this.

No. He married into this. No. This is an Ambron. Very private family. I only have one brother. Yeah. Yeah.

This is crazy to you. Okay. So you're going to, you're going to drive. point on this, sir. You're going to have to send us voice notes and shame her a little bit if she does it. By the way, we're still solving the... She's going to hang up and go. She's going to hang up and go.

Those guys were just being funny. It is totally normal. Oh, yeah. She's going to go, my dad used to take dumps on the floor of the living room. Yeah. Just to get way better. Consistent with the alcohol. This is...

She's in a couple weeks going to go, we can have a glass of wine while we could. Yeah, exactly. Marijuana is not a drug, just cocaine. Let's take some edibles. That's fine. Exactly right. I can eat it. It's a good thing I'm straight edge.

We need something. You do have a vice, buddy. Yeah, it's Amber. My vice is going to the bathroom with the door open, apparently. So, Jacob. Jacob, first of all, thank the beautiful Amber. We appreciate her. But now we are going to get to the official pitch.

The first thing I'm going to say is, know in person. We've already embarrassed this guy enough. My pitch is going to be actually pretty straight here. It would get a bottle of nice whiskey with a note that said to the guy who had to see me going to the bathroom. I apologize. Our door was broken at the time.

We have since fixed it. Won't happen again. My bad. Enjoy this bottle of Jameson. So that hopefully you could forget what you saw. I love it. I think it's a great pitch. I'm going to say just very quick relatability.

I want time. These guys when I was in an apartment were coming over to fix the sink. They did their job. They left. As soon as they left, I wanted to work out. I, for whatever reason, was doing P90X in my room completely naked. One of the guys forgot something. And as I was doing bicep curls totally naked, he walked by.

And I went, oh my God. And then he left. And our relationship was never close, but it was never right again. So I do think it's important. Who are you to judge? Jake, very different. All of this. Very extremely different.

And I'm not, we don't have time for me to tell you what. You know why it's different. You know why it's shit. Because I just put some shorts down, brother. I agree. I agree. And you know what I did from then. Why is your dick and balls got to be flopping.

around while you're PX90 and by the way all those squats in your bed room. It was bicep curls. And guess what? But also, no, no, no. PX90, you're doing all sorts of stuff. When he walked in, it was bicep curls. And I'm not kidding. I do think sweatband on.

Go ahead. But you've also told me about those workouts that the, you lived in an apartment building, the people underneath hated. I can't believe you remember that. Yes. Yeah. One day, one day the guy goes, hey, enough. And I was like, okay.

I was doing pliometric work on the second floor of an apartment. But... Great question for you. Was that bedroom carpeted? Jake, I don't... I'm asking. Yes. By the way, I want you to apologize right now to Jacob and Amber for judging.

No. Because you're an addict right now. If you're a counselor, you have cocaine all over your nose. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. You know what? Then I'm going to ask you to mute yourself for a little bit.

Because we can't... All right. Okay. You have alcohol on your breath? Jacob. You are a counselor? Jacob. Jacob and Amber, look, I was trying to get the full disclosure,

but we got so in the weeds about what you guys have been doing. And as much as I don't see the direct parallel, I brought it up because I relate to your problem a little bit. And what I'm saying is I think that gives me a specific angle of expertise. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you guys crap with the door open, you monsters. I'll mute myself. I don't do you shit.

Okay. So, Jacob, what do you think about the note? I have a pitch too, Jake. Okay, go ahead. Okay, my pitch is this. I think that's great. I think that's a great way to do it. I'm going to go a little more in the direction of,

why don't we make this a little funnier because this is so fucking crazy. So what I'm going to pitch is you buy him two boxes of raisinettes and you wrap them. You get a happy birthday card. You cross out everywhere there's an H and you put a CR before it. And you write a note similar to what Jake said

where you say, and I think you hand it in person. You say, hey, I know what happened the other day, a little wild. I wanted to get you something to sort of say, my bad. So you give me a crappy birthday card and raisinettes that look like little turrets. Okay, so rather than happy birthday,

that's fun. Crappy birthday. I like making fun of yourself a little bit. Yes, you have to. Like, I promise you, I don't, I'm not a creep who likes this sort of attention. It was a mistake. Or, you know what I'd actually write?

Please listen to the podcast. We're here. help where I discuss what happened here. Very embarrassed, but Amber and I are making changes. What you had to see while we were still in our sickness, here's a bottle of wine, a bottle of booze so that you can hopefully forget about the trauma I made you endure. You know what you're doing, brother, in AA? You're making amends.

Yep, you're in a very important step right now. This is, I think, step two. I believe it is. And it's a long one for guys like you. You and Amber really have a long list. you are, this is, I am making amends because I have a problem. Yes. Keeping the door open when I go to the bathroom.

The problem is getting fixed. I'm sorry that my problem, my illness, got thrown on you. Yes. Here's a bottle of booze, or even a gift card to like target for 50 bucks. Yeah, something. And I will say, you two, you're going to, a lot of people are going to rally behind your cause. I guarantee you. Do not listen to them.

Jake and I are right. This is not okay. And also, you need to know, sometimes the loud voices are wrong. Garrett has been saying that for a long time. Oh, yeah. This is, they're going to come out. I think it's nice.

Who cares? It's a human fun. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. No. You're wrong. I hear you. I hear you.

No, you're wrong. That's it. So, Jacob, what are you going to specifically do on this one, sir? I'm going to get him a nice bottle of something, write a nice note. And then Amber is pretty much the only delivery because our landlord lives in Colorado. Okay, I understood. All right. She can do the delay.

And it's better if she does it. Yep. It is. So he don't want to see you. And then, Jacob, I just want to say to you and Amber, thanks for doing a master class. I'd be in a great call. Honestly. You guys gave so much, we appreciate you.

Thank you. That the dogs for us. Outside of the toilet. We'll do. Take care. Thank you. Bye. And we are brought to you by Walden University.

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Hi. Hi, how are you? How are you? Good, thank you. Can we get your name, Age, where you're calling from, please? Yes, I'm going to go by Caroline, but I am 25, and I'm from the southeast region. You're being very nonspecific, which we welcome here. That's fine.

No, that's fine. I would do that. I would do it, too. I would definitely do it. I've actually called the show and done it. Okay, Caroline, 25 South East. What can we help you with? So I'm a tax accountant at a firm.

And last busy season, which is like January through April, a few offices in our region did this little morale boosting challenge where we answered weekly questions, earn points, and the top people were supposed to get a gift card. Well, me and two other coworkers ended up winning, but by like May or June, still no gift card. So I asked my manager who's in charge. And she was like, oh shoot, I've been way too busy, totally forgot.

Okay, fine. I let it go. And then August passed. In September, I checked in again. Same response. Too busy. Totally off her radar. Well, I followed up at least once since then.

And so now we're in February, almost a year later and still knows very hard. What is going on? I know. Crazy. For work incentivizing, that is so insane to not. follow through on that. This is becoming a real American problem. Yeah, this is. This is the follow through. There's no follow through. Of all the issues we got, this is number one. No comments. I don't agree. Okay. By the way, this is a clip and we're shutting the comments off.

Yeah, keep going. Well, just without going to HR and making things awkward because we work closely together in a very small office, how do I go about getting this gift card? Because it's not even about the gift card, really. Yeah, it's the principle. Completely. That's what we're sort of saying here. Where was the gift card to, did you say? No, I don't know.

It's probably just like a visa. Okay. And how much was it for? Probably not much. Go ahead. It's more about the principle. Okay. Yeah, I agree with this.

Not a life-changing amount or anything. And who would be, and who's the boss? Can we give a name to the person who we need the gift card from? Let's do a real name for the boss. I'm kidding. Oh, I can't. No, I'm kidding. We'll do Mary.

Okay, so Mary is the boss. Mary has to buy the gift card, and we need to get Mary to send you the gift card. And as of now, you brought it up, and it hasn't come. Is that all true? Yes, but she's not buying it. It's more, I mean, it's a big firm. I mean, you know, so it's not her money.

It's just she has to check in with some other people. It's on her, though. She just has to do it. Right, exactly. And she willingly signed up to do this sort of stuff. What do we have in terms of access to marry? Do we have an email? Do we have text?

I'm just, this is so early. I'm just. Jake's trying to figure out like how comfortable can we. And what are different ways we can get at her? Yeah. Yeah, we, I mean, I see her three, four times a week. We use Teams Messenger and then email. Oh, I have an idea.

Go. Next time you see her, go. Hey, really strange question. I got sent a card with no name and a gift card at my home address. Was that from the survey? Did you send me the winning card? This is such a good pitch. Because it wasn't signed.

This is a great pitch. And then she'll go, oh, my God, we haven't. And then you go, it's okay. It was so weird. Then she goes like, yeah, I got a $200 gift card. So I don't know if it's me or, but you're like, okay. And then she'll go, we're so sorry. We haven't sent that yet and go, thanks.

Or you don't do the gift card. You go, it was a gift card in a bottle of wine. And it said like from Jim. Are you guys Jim? This is a great pitch. I had a pitch. It's much weirder. What's your pitch?

Let's just hear it. My pitch is that you, and I was going to need some help. But since it's the tax world, right, we're coming up on tax season. Carolyn says something to the effect of, hey, I'm doing my taxes under my donations and gift section. I want to put in what the gift card was. Or what the gift card's going to be? Do you mind telling me how much it's going to be? I just want to put it in this year's taxes.

Caroline, does that make any sense in the world of taxes? Because Jake and I have no clue. Kind of. I mean, I would probably not have to report it because it wouldn't be big enough to have to report. But you don't know the amount? You don't know the amount? That's what you're saying.

You're basically saying, is this a reportable amount? You could make it playful, but you go, the gift card I'm going to get, I'm sure it's not. I'm sure it's going to be small from the survey. But I'm just, you know me. I'm such a perfectionist. I'm crazy. That's why I'm,

it makes me a good employee, but a bad person. You think what would happen? I think she would know that like I'm trying to get at something. Okay. Okay. There's something I really liked about that, though, but I totally hear it.

Is there anything in that zone we can do? Or, you know, you could say, you could go, I've got a question for you. What is the amount of gift again that could be, in your opinion, written off? Like, let's say you get a gift card. And then George, like, anything under $14,000 does not need to be reported? You know, that's what I was thinking.

I like that. Listen, I like that. I do think what the problem is, what you're flagging is that it's a little more obvious what you're going. In Jake's pitch, you literally are just trying to see if you check that box. So I think if you just say, hey, I got sent a gift card. Did you send it? Is that from you guys? Yeah.

Is that the name? But make it, don't let her just say yes because you could also go, but it said it was from like Danny J. But but then what you can do is if she says yes, a week later you go, just so you know, that was actually from someone else, Danny J.

So yes, exactly right. Then you guys, that's a great idea. Sorry about that was Danny Jay. That's a. So it wasn't from you guys. I figured it out,

you know. He's a finance. He's a finance year. He's a financier. He wears a tie-dye shirt. He drinks margaritas on bus tops. He climbs on vines. He's a weird guy.

She went a weird here to help sweep sticks. She want a we're here to help. That's really funny. That's great. That's great. I'm really sorry. I want a we're here to hear of sweepstead. But they hadn't announced it yet.

Yeah. But that's what that way. That's what it's from. So they paid me. You didn't. No big deal whenever you're ready. So that will for sure work. Let me just give you another pitch just to throw it out there.

I want you to just start writing words around the office and hanging them up, like G-I-F and then T and then C-A and later, R-D and slowly gift cards. That's what I'm trying to get. If we can gift card things around,

if you see like a gift card promo, you could put up a fake thing, a lost dog, offering gift card. Call this number. So gift card just starts popping up. Yeah, like 12 monkeys.

You're just starting to see it all over. It's subliminally communicating. So Mary just goes, fuck, I got to buy those gift cards because it's just not on our brain. God damn, gift card, gift card, gift card. I'll just buy a gift card. Do you think that it is, she's forgotten or she just doesn't really care about the following? Forgotten. I, no, I think she just doesn't care because I think if she had one.

Yeah, interesting. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think because I think that's why, I mean, well, you tell us what you think. Yeah. That one where you're like a gift card showed up is such an easy natural link. Yes. Yeah.

All right. So Caroline, what are you going to do here, Big Dog? I'm going to have to be her on Monday and say, Strangest thing, I got an email with a gift card link. Is that the one I won? Yes. You're about 10 months ago. Yep.

Yes. Yes. Adding the time. Love this. And then if she says, ooh, I've got to be. got a sweet little out here. Yeah, I think it probably was. You go great. And then eight days later, you come a call and hey, mayor, just a quick update. I'm still owed the gift card from the team building exercise. Great day, by the way. What morale. We all learned a lot about follow through and things of

that nature. That gift card email, that was actually from the podcast. We're here to help. I won a little contest. They just didn't label it properly. It was from Danny Jay. He sometimes probably drinks margaritas from that helmet with two cups on the side and straws going into his mouth. When I first got on television on New Girl, we went to the old town alehouse in Chicago, and a couple of people at the table, other tables you could tell, recognize me, and they were younger, like females,

but they didn't want to say anything, and my brother was bored of just, I had come in from L.A. We were just seeing each other. He was not getting enough attention that he thought we deserved. So he stood up and screamed at the top of lungs. Hey, everybody, I'm Chris Miller. Nick Miller's brother and I actually went to law school.

Come say hello. Oh my God. Just take the character's last name. What a weird. I'm Chris Miller. I'm a fictional character who's here. Let's go. Let's go.

And then before you know it, there were 15 people at our table. We're all buying tricks. And I was like, Deb, he's the life of the party. So Caroline, are you going to really do this? Yes. Oh, absolutely. I do it on Monday. So let's do this.

If you can record yourself, of it. We don't need to hear her. Yes. We can edit her out completely. Yeah. I will record it. Yeah, follow up with us because I think that will work. I do too. I think it's pretty perfect. You'll hit this out of the park. I appreciate it. Well, thank you for calling. Thank you for Santa. It means a lot to us.

It does. We do feel like a couple of losers in hotel rooms and closets sometimes. Sometimes, yeah. Well, then I'm a loser listening to you all. Yeah. We're a little. That's why the show works. We're all losers.

We're all losers. Losers trying to dig out of problems. It's a world football losers, God damn it. Who's better POV than a couple of old losers? Old losers helping young losers. That's the whole premise. We've been losing for so long and you're still in your 20s. Let us tell you how to lose.

Our law firm tag is haping losers, lose less. By the way, if I saw that on a billboard, yes. If I saw that on a billboard driving, I would go. call them. Helping losers, losers. Yeah. Two losers. Helping losers. And we would definitely have one of those numbers that's just the one digit seven times. 7007-7-77-7-77-7-7-7.

By the way, all jokes aside, I would spend real money for that right now. If my phone number could be one, 323-88-88-88-8-8-8. I would love it. I completely agree. Thank you so much for the call. Thank you. Let us know. Record it.

Thank you. Sweet Jesse here. This next call is a follow-up from episode 255 monitor swap with David Crumholz. Hello. Hello? Hi, how are you? How are you guys doing? Good. How are you?

Good, thanks. Great. You're a follow-up. Yeah, so my name's Kyle. I'm from Massachusetts. I called in a couple weeks ago, my co-workers monitor. Right. And I wanted to...

Kyle. We got a lot of backlash on this one, but... Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people were so mad that you as a gentleman were so threatened by a woman having a bigger screen that we had to gaslight her.

It's called Monsplaining. And they were so disappointed in Gareth and I. Always. Now, yes. Kyle. Just so you know. I thought that was interesting to tell you. There was a, I believe Kyle made a TikTok about this. Did you see it? A great one. Yeah. So first of all, reset up the problem before we see anything. For anybody who hasn't

watched the original Kyle take over, what was the problem and what did we suggest and what did you do? Yeah. So my co-worker, Emily, was pretty new and she works right across for me. And we all have these company monitors from, well, the company. And hers was a lot newer than mine. And I really wanted that new one. Monitor coveting. Yeah, so I think David Krumholtz was on.

Krumholtz. He was great. He was great. He was hilarious. And, I mean, at one point, he, like, role-played with being my dad and calling the company as, like, saying I needed a new monitor. Oh, that's right. And there was also

you recommended filling. I think it was either chili or jelly on the monitor to get it. That's a different idea. This was not that long ago. It's not that long ago. And we hear it back, we're like, wow. Don't do chili or jelly on it. It's like we're kind of the commenters after we hear our own ship back a little.

We're like, these guys are idiots. These guys are not doctors. All right, Kyle. So many it probably me said. chili on it. I was hoping it was Gareth, but it feels like it was me. Pretty sure it was you, sadly.

Especially because it was chili. If it was chili, it would have been chili. Yeah, if it's parmesan, you know me. I go barbecue. If you go cheese, I go chili. And I go ham sandwiches. Cheese and chili. All right, keep going, Kyle.

By the way, Sam, do nicknames? It's merch, nicknames. All right. So, Kyle, keep going. We originally were on the path of let's break the monitor, bring it to the tech center and, like, tell them it's broken. or then we went along

like if the cable or connection wasn't working like it wasn't necessarily broken but you couldn't get it to work but Natalie brought up the point that they just give me a new cable and call it a day that's right so we we ended up doing the asshole game where we pretended for the podcast that there was a game called asshole

and the challenge for me was to feel her monitor or swap it rather with I am and see if she actually noticed. So make a game out of your monitor theft. Right. So if you get caught, it's based off this TikTok trend. Yeah, yep.

Invisible scapegoat. Yeah. Kyle, you made the TikTok. I did, yes. I made it and I didn't share it with her, but I shared it with my other coworkers because they were looking at me when I was filming this, and they were like, what are you doing?

That's a wild decision to share it with the coworkers. I would say I wish you would have brought that by us. Yeah, that would have been, that would have been... I would have said, don't share it with him. Yeah, Jake's the chili spill guy, and he thinks that was an issue, just so you know, Kyle. You're teasing me with two hands of parmesan cheese. Yeah, it was... This dude's an idiot.

I got a bowl of chili. You got chili, I got cheese, and we're both like, buddy. That guy's stupid. Button it up. We both have a shirt to sense. I'm with stupid, with an arrow to the other guy. So, Kyle, can we watch the TikTok? now?

Yeah, yeah. All right. So let's go through this. We'll probably be able to hear some stuff. It starts with you talking to camera. So I'll narrate anything that needs to be narrated. Hi, everyone. My name is Kyle.

And today I'm going to be participating in the We're here to Help Asshole Challenge. I am going to be swapping my co-workers monitor for my own. So now I am taking my old monitor and putting it on Emily's desk and taking Emily's monitor and putting it on my desk. I am now plugging both of them in. and this is all sped up to save time. Now I am admiring my handiwork by showing you the end result.

They're so similar. They're the exact same fucking honor. So, Kyle, I got to say, I think this is effective. I know it's bad. But in terms of what the premise of the show is, I feel like this is a fix, but you tell us what happened? Yeah, so it did work. So we can go ahead and ring the bell.

Hang it, Gareth. That's a real ring. Yeah, you just bring the bell. Another satisfied customer. And also, don't forget to the people listening, that's the point of this. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Yes, for all the naysayers, the bell just got run. Okay? So you can be all mad. Yeah. But these two guys just solved Kyle's problem. Well, you guys are commenting. We're down in the trenches. Oh, because of the new Hulu deal now.

Everything's changed. The whole show's different because Hulu leased it for a year. The idea that the Hulu, this is a post Hulu deal, and we recommended that he steal his co-workers monitor and blame it on the show as a TikTok challenge. Everything's different now. All right. So, Kyle, what happened? Yeah, so I made the switch and then I ended up having to travel for work.

So I wasn't in the office for about a week and a half. and in that time period I didn't hear bring up anything in the remote vicinity of a monitor or swapping or any of that

and then I came back and it was still there and then about a couple days ago they started doing a company-wide thing where they switched all the monitors to newer ones. You got to be kidding me.

I wish I was making it up. I like to think I was a pioneer, but I guess it was already in the works. All right, Kyle, here's what you got to do. First thing you do, take the TikTok down. Yeah, okay. Delete it, burn it. Never happened. It never happened.

Because guess what? We won, but then there was like an earthquake. But I'm going to say something, Jake. I think we caused that earthquake. You really do in your heart-to-hearts? No, I just want to keep ringing the bell. Ring it then, baby. Be it.

Yes. We get a satisfied company. So, Kyle, basically what happened is everybody got a new screen. Yeah, yeah, yep. But you got one first. Yeah. But I got one first. Yep.

We solved it for that week. Even though you weren't there, you had a nice monitor. I got to say, to me, this feels very. Look, this is kind of the whole show, guys. It's a small little problem that in the end got fixed by the company anyhow. But beforehand, Kyle, you won. You made a little TikTok video

that would have protected you and you switched the monitor. But enough about what we think. How do you feel about this call? If you were on Yelp doing a review, how would you review this? I'd say I'd give it four and a half stars. I mean, it was, I was a satisfied customer.

But not five. Go ahead. Sorry, Kyle. Jake's going to jump in here. Nearly perfect. Walk us through how everything worked out perfect. But we're half a star. shy of a fiber.

So it's all out of love. Why are we being punished? Well, the hardest part was we decided to do this in the middle of the workday. So this was something when it was like prime busy hour. Hey, Kai. Hey, Kai. Did we pitch do it during the work day? Did we say do it right now?

Oh, we did. Okay. All right, there you go. You said as soon as you get off the call, let's do it. That actually sounds like me. Yeah. That has chili Johnson written all over it. That's got chili sauce all over it.

I got excited. Yeah. You know what? 4.5 makes a lot of sense. I think you absolutely right there, Kyle. It's stupid to do it right then. Thank you for defending yourself. Okay, well, great.

Look, it's a win. We're all happy. Kyle, are you happy? Definitely. I am. I had, believe it or not, a lot of fun going through this. There's a little nerve-wracking at first by getting over that. I think I'm in a new space.

maybe not for the better or worse, but just a new space in general. That makes sense, man. That's life in a nutshell. There's no better or worse, just different days. So can everybody, whoever wants to participate, can you comment on whatever you watch, if it's YouTube, if it's Spotify,

if it's Apple Music, I don't know. And just out of five on this one, without any context, just rate what you think. Kyle gave us a 4.5. Just, and without, you don't have to say anything, just 4.7, 4.2 or 5. And then we'll just kind of get a sense of if, because Gareth, what would be your rating out of five? Considering what Kyle said, too.

Honestly, as an outsider, a 5. The problem got solved. I felt no nerves. The company got new monitors. I'm willing to take credit for that. Yeah. Granted, he was a little nervous, but dare I say there was some growth. You know, growth happens outside the comfort zone. And that's what We gave to Kyle on that day. Plus, we got to see Kyle, handsome guy. Things are good. I agree. I would give it a 4.65. Okay.

Why are you shaving us? Because of the same reason Kyle did. We said go right away. And I think that was, that was not, what we could have said was do it at a time. Sneaking in the night. Make it look like a caper, water gate us, get arrested. Just pay attention to when no one's watching and do it fast. I mean, I don't know.

Okay. I get it. Five from me, but that's great. Look, the point is, Kyle, it's solved. You're happy. You met two of your heroes. That, I think you just said that. I don't think he said that.

You had to it. By the way, that's a new intro. It wasn't fine. Hey, everybody, thank you for the call. You're welcome. You're reading two of your heroes. And they go, who's here? Kyle.

Garrett, the Jake. Kyle, in closing, you got anything you want to say about this one? Wrapping it up. Did you learn anything? Is there anything we could take from this? What do you think about the people who said it was really rude as a guy to do this to a woman. Any thoughts?

I like to think that I'm above the whole gender thing. If it was a guy, I would have done the same thing. That's cool. The monitor is a monitor in my opinion. So, you know, I can separate the person from it. As well as we would have, if this was a female call, any call, anybody calling, any gender calling, we would say, I don't care what your gender is. I would say spill chili on it.

I would say no matter what your gender, the same agenda. Yeah. That was the worst ending possible. All right, Kyle, you're welcome, buddy. You made two legends. Now I hated this follow-up. Two heroes. Thank you, Kyle.

You've been two heroes. Take care, pal. Yeah, thank you guys. Have a good rest of your day. You too. Thanks for the follow-up. Bye. Bye.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon. You can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash Here to Help Pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis,

Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, who stand up on the road, go to Gareth Reynolds.com.

Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast. That was a hate gum podcast.