We're Here to Help - 281: WEIRD Here To Help: Banshee Teams Meetings & Rose Quartz Lawn Care

Episode Date: April 10, 2026

Yeah, Microsoft Teams meetings can be boring - except when they're haunted by Banshees. And how to turn your excessive backyard rose quartz into a trillion dollar industry.Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yellow, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, hear stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room, and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hax streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to The Hacks podcast on HBO Max, or wherever you get your podcasts. your collective subconscious.

Wherever you may be, Steve and I are here for you. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for another episode of Weird here to help. My God, we harmonized. Eric, we harmonized there. That was perfect.

We always harmonized, buddy. It's how we got to stay. I won't say whenever you do like a podcast or something and like organically people are going to do like to say the same thing at the same time, it never works out. That worked out. It'll never be better than that going forward.

So you heard the best of what we, have. Eric, I want to tell you something. Let me tell you something. I'm switching here, so I'm fast. Give me. No, switch away. I want to, so look, in the 1990s, Eric, you know, I was very into, like, indie rock and kind of like punk rock culture. And I lived in Lawrence, Kansas. And I used to go to coffee shops. I mean, living in the same time as William S. Burroughs and a lot of the beat poets that would come through there, their coffee shops were very important in Lawrence,

Kansas. And somewhere along the way, Eric, I lost touch with going into coffee shops. But Eric, no more. Because recently, I have found this place in downtown Omaha called Sozo. Sozo. It's called Sozo. How's that spelled? S-O-Z-O. And it is an old 1990s-vibed-out coffee shop that's underground.

And I have found my new home. I'm going to start going there multiple times a week. I went there because I'm like, you know what? I got to get out of the house. I got to do some work. And sometimes my kitty cats will distract me by wanting to play stick or me opening up and give them treats. So I went there. I was like, I'll go for like an hour and just really bang it out.

I was there for hours overcafning myself, enjoying a pastry. This place, they do like beat poetry at night. They had a guy playing ambient keyboard in the actual coffee shop. My coffee shop era, I'm back, baby. So I'm going to this, and this means other changes too. I'm going to like thrift stores, even though it's hard for a big guy, and buying like old retro, like kind of cool t-shirts that, like, you know, like Joe's Conoco like car repair.

You know, like kind of that irony. I might start wearing dicky pants. I'm going full 90s indie rock coffee house vibe. This is my new era. I think it's so exciting, Steve. I'm very leading a brigade here. Yeah, I'm bad. I think for some reason, the 90s are deeply coming back.

They are. We need them to. The 90s will come back and save us. I think they will. Well, and I think part of it is the, you know, going back to old times, they're always about nostalgia, but the 90s was the last.

time pre-cellular telephones. Three smartphones that are maybe making a stump. And I think people look at that time. And I'll tell you what I would do if I was a coffee shop is I might ban phones. You know,

there is a tea shop in Los Phila's in a great little city I call Los Angeles. I don't know if you've heard of it. They have a tea shop on Vermont Street. They don't allow cell phones, man. No, because that's one around, dude. going into a coffee shop these days is people will be loud people have heard me at this I don't know do it oh yeah people will be conducting meetings yeah talking a full volume on their computer on their

phone and that's what's going to lead to me getting a misdemeanor possibly a felony depending on how good my attorney is assault battery I would I would ban it all yeah I would truly ban it all and I think that's part of why the 90s are coming back so if the 90s comes back bring with like hey we didn't have phones in the 90s it's not allowed here yeah we all got a lot long fine. It's like, also there is something about accountability, I think, with, like, being analog. It's like, hey, I'm going to meet you at 845 for a cold beer in some onion rings. And if you don't show up, then you screwed your friend over. Like, with cell phones, it's like, hey, running late, traffic, sorry. Oh, something came up. Like, you know, it just feels

like it's like, cell phones are almost an excuse. But I think, Eric, the coffee shop, you're, getting to something here. I think it symbolizes analog. Yeah. Getting back to the basics. sitting in a coffee shop, pondering the world, maybe having a read. Oh, buddy. I'm getting huge into books again. I'm ashamed of how few books I read last year. And as I've been off Instagram in this calendar year, I've been reading so many books. Yeah, yeah.

Are you, you read, you're mostly nonfiction, though, right? Mostly, yeah. I mean, I love a prayer for own meaning some fiction. I'm really looking for fiction. So people have good fiction recommendations. Throw them in the comments. now I'm reading a wild book. I've been on a crazy tangent on the last days of Marilyn Monroe.

Oh, goodbye Norma Jean. It's not good. It's not good, Steve. Goodbye, Norma, Gene. Yeah, I don't think. Do you think she was not good? Yeah. You do? You think she was a fast-nade? Absolutely.

I truly do. Oh, man. Because I read this James Patterson book, and he's a huge author. And then they kind of hinted at it at the end. And I'm like, hold on, what? you're just dropping hints. Then I got a book from an LAPD detective, and it is a wild, wild ride.

But in terms of the 90s coming back, I went to the Dodger game last night. Oh. Multiple Dodger relievers. You know, they have that fun intro song when they come running out. And one, I'm going to ask you in a second what your intro song would be.

But multiple Dodger relievers are playing like 90s grunge when they run out. That's red. That's red. That's red. Candlebox, Steve. Oh, candlebox. I mean, we think it was candle.

Candlebox is like the death throes of the grunge era. It's like, hey guys, we got this band called Candlebox. And they're like, hey guys, actually grunge is over. It's like, damn it. No, we were just right there. The candles are on fire. Oh, yeah. So what would be Steve Berg's song?

You're a reliever running out of that bullpen. What song are you going to play? You know, there's a song called by a synth funk band in the 80s called. I think they were called New Shoes. But you know, the song goes, Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, uh, oh, uh, my baby. I can't wait.

It's a hit song. An incredibly important Portland band. Oh, really? We claim new shoes. Yeah, New Shoes is a Portland band. The song, I Can't Wait by New Shoes is a song. It's like one of my favorite songs in the world, and I've loved it since I was a kid. It makes me so happy.

Everyone put on new shoes and I defy you to not have it turn your day around. It is, it would be my intro song for anything I do. And they're not just a one hit wonder. There's some good stuff there. No, I love like, uh, synth, like that synthy kind of 80s funk when they were just getting like hip to like the new like keyboards and stuff. I like funk a lot, man. I listen to like a lot of that era of funk.

So it's, it's just good fun. It makes me happy. You can, it's really toe tap and it. It's good to rate the leaves too. It's good to do your taxes too. You know, I mean, like it's good to make like a pad tie. to. Like, I mean, I compare, I can pair since, it is versatile music. I can pair synth punk with anything

or a funk and punk. Steve, I'm pulling dried pieces of rice off my shirt. Can you see that? Eric, I, how do they get there? You know, you know, it's amazing. Here's why we're friends, because I pulled dry pieces of rice off the couch this morning because I had a little, I made myself a little fried rice dinner last night. It was delightful. And I had rice all over the place. Susie's always like, you leave rice everywhere you go. It's like a trail of rice. You know where Steve is

because you'll find a rice path. Oh, it's so good. But that's how we get back to where we started, you know? It's our rights. No, that's it, man. That's it. Well, Stephen, are you ready

to take some calls? Eric, I've never been more ready to take calls. Let's see if we can help people. Steve, let's help some people. Let's see if they can help us too. Because it's a two-way street on a weird hearing. Oh, it's a two-way street, and we're both driving Porsches.

Let's go right now to our first caller. Well, hello, my friend. It seems you have found your honor. We do it again. Well, hello, my friend. Don't edit that. Don't edit that. No, that was good.

We like that. Let's embrace the mistakes. Sometimes she had a wrong note on guitar, and it's the right note. I tripped over my own tongue. We're keeping that. That tongue's beautiful. Friend, we're keeping that first take. My name is Steve.

Morgan, don't edit that. This is my buddy Eric. Paul are welcome to weird here to help. You know you're really a part of it now. What is your name and word? Caller, you want to do the intake? You probably know better than I am. It's daylight savings time.

It's an hour earlier. I lost an hour of sleep. Steve dabbled. He dipped a tone in the psilocybin pond this weekend. And we're all get to benefit from it. So, Steve, you want to take two, but Morgan, do not edit a thing of that.

You're right. You're right. That was perfection. But we're going to do this. No, no, no. This is just for me. This one's just for me. Well, hello, my friends.

I think you find yourself on another episode of Weird here to help with Eric Nelstein and Steve. What is your name and where you're calling from, if you would? Hi, I'm Casey. I'm calling from San Francisco. Oh, my. Love it. Love the bay.

Let me just tell you, so you weren't talking to two San Francisco heads. Eric and I have owned that city a couple times. I think that city owned us, buddy. Well, that's probably true. I think that city owned us. Eric and I have done some day drinking. We've gone to different haberdasheries. We've gone to other places that we won't mention on the air, but we love San Francisco.

And we love you, Casey, right out. way. Casey, a quick question for you, and without thinking about it too hard, if you could bring one book, one TV show, slash movie, and one album to a deserted island where you know their humans existed,

what would they be? Okay. So I am a long-time listener, so I have put a little thought into this. Hey! I... My sisters, and I love you guys, by the way. Oh, we love you. We love you. Give your

sisters a hug, say it's a giant man. will. I will. So, Album, Joni Mitchell's Blue. Oh, we are team Johnny over here. Oh, I got to see Joni. I've seen her twice now. It's heaven. She's the damn cool. Thank you, Randy Carlisle for bringing her out of her shell. A Canadian Queen. Oh, completely. Oh, and Blue, like, come on. I love Blue. It just works. I know. Yes. I'm not big into movies, so I'd have to pick my favorite TV.

TV show, which is just the comfort show, Gilmore Girls. I love the Gilmore Girls. Rewatched it a million times. When we walk all alone in the bag. And you know, Luke was an incredible minor league baseball player that had injuries. I did not know that. Yeah. Luke go on eBay, they fetch a pretty penny.

Luke has baseball cards. Yeah, also. Luke was surging toward the majors, like, dominated AAA. Then the poor guy had injuries. So all he did, he just turned that hat. around and went on television. Yeah, he did play baseball on television. But he was a big-time Yankees prospect,

and Luke was good. You know, also in terms of in terms of Laurel's boyfriends, I'm always on Team Luke until day and I. Oh, come on. Yeah, absolutely. We love Luke. Gilmore girls rules.

Rough around the edges, coffee, hat backwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slinging up Denver Amos for the people. Well, then you get to see Melissa McCarthy just kind of start to take off on that show. Yeah, it's all great. And then most importantly, most importantly, a true hero and friend of the pod,

friend of ours, Joel, Joel Gionne. Joel Giontson. For the Brian Jones Town Massacre. Absolutely. The only television show with a vision to talk about the Brian Jones Town Massacre. Hell yes.

That's true. Very true. Joel is a hero to this show. Now, you're leaving out one crucial thing. What about a book? A book would have to be when breath becomes air by Paul Kalanisi.

He was a, this gets a little deep. He was a nurse. training be a neurosurgeon, and then he found out he himself had cancer. And, like, it's a memoir on his reflections about life and the meaning of life. And, like, it's amazing. Oh, darn. Like, so amazing. That sounds great.

Steve, we should start compiling listener book recommendations. I agree. I agree. And there's a whole bunch of buzz in the Patreon of people wanting a Steve Berg book club. Oh, my, my, which I think is how the cult begins, and I think we're all in for it. I'm, I'm number one in this cult. Wack and your text Watson, dude. Yeah, I mean.

Yeah, Wackadoe book club. I'm cult member number one. And I'm like happy to be like your right hand, man, your muscle. You're my head. Hey, someone did sign me directly, but you got to go up in the hills. Where do you want me to go, Steve? I'm here. Okay, text.

Thank you. Thank you. I book. I book text. Hey, see, what, it seems that you have come here with an issue in your life. How can Eric and I potentially help you? Yeah. So I never thought I'd have a real.

reason to write into weird here to help. I'm not super into like supernatural of paranormal, but we do anything weird though. We do anything weird. Yeah. Well, I know, but this is where it's leading to this. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. You feel it, Steve? Oh, I'm getting excited. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming. So at work, which is where I'm at right now, we use Microsoft Teams. Are you familiar? It's like a Zoom for work. It's similar to Zoom. It's Microsoft version of Zoom, exactly. And I use it all day long because I don't work with,

I work with people all over the country, nobody in my office. So I'm like always on my computer. Yeah. And starting about two weeks ago, just suddenly during calls, my coworkers would ask on various different calls and various different conference rooms. Nobody in the conference room with me. People would ask, like my coworkers would say, do you hear that? Or is that coming from you, Casey?

and I heard nothing. Like I heard nothing at all. And they describe it as like yelling, screaming, even like a loud snippet of like a conversation between people coming from my audio. Do you have a ghost in the machine? I don't know. So it only lost a few seconds.

Yeah. But it happens so frequently now that people, because I double checked when I got your invite to the podcast. It's happening so frequently my coworkers just aren't telling me now. because it just only happens for like a split second or two, and then, you know, so they just like ignore it now. So I'm understanding, really, really quick, before you go to any further, I want to make sure I'm understanding the mechanics of what's happening here.

So you are on Microsoft team, and through the computer, you're getting these audio auditory interruptions, right? Yes. Okay, okay. Yes, and I don't hear them. You don't know. Oh, my God. My boss has tried to record it on her end so that I can hear it,

but she hasn't been successful in, like, getting a recording. Oh, of course not. They don't want to be heard. It eludes the recording. Yes. I will say this. As we know, I got a Groupon for Colonics and I have a doctor. I don't know if she's really a doctor.

I don't know if that's just like common knowledge. All right, maybe it's more on the Patreon. But anyway, I got a colonics via a doctor. She told me, I'm willing to accept her on this. And I think the term doctor with her, I'm happy to call it. I think, I don't think there's a medical degree, but I really like her and I like what's happening there. She says that angelic beings and aliens are using chat GPT to communicate, that they found a way to sneak through. And her sort of chat GPT 4.0.

And they're doing the updates as quick as they can to try to keep these things out because they're giving sacred wisdom. But she's like, they're in there. And all this stuff is using, I can hear people already getting outraged hearing this. And yet, I want to believe. You're saying that aliens and angelic beings have realized they can now communicate through technology and they want to help. They're like Steve and I in a big way. I would be curious about the source of this lady's information. Rupon Colonic and the value, insert the thing yourself and never look back, buddy.

Yeah, yeah. We'll talk off the air about why this is a horrible idea. We'll talk on the air. My life's an open book, and it's cheap pulp fiction. It's the one you find at the dollar's store. But here we sit. Okay. And I sit when it's in there.

Okay. So it continues, yeah. It continues because with just the, you know, just my laptop, I could totally chalked that up to just like an IT glitch, like something wrong with my computer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cross the streams. The same week this started happening at work, I was in the middle of Golden Gate Park, my daughter's soccer practice. completely nobody around me, nobody around me at all, talking to my sister. We're like midway through the call and she goes, Casey, are you okay?

What was that? I was like, what? She was, I heard screaming. There's nobody near me. There is literally nobody near me and she heard screaming. But you can't hear it. I don't hear it. And then it's happened one other time on the phone with my sister on my personal cell phone.

No connection. No connection between my personal cell phone and the laptop. So that's when we're listeners. Because we're listeners, my sister's like, oh, my God, you have to call us a pot. Okay. I'm going to. I'm going to. There's like 10 people in the world that have answers, and Steve Berg is one of them.

I'm going to ask. Intake, Steve. Intake. Enlighten us all. Get us going to ask some paranoid questions. Okay. Oh, this is exciting. What you are, your job, is there any kind of sensitive, like, information?

Like, are, like, are you working? like for the CIA No but I'm saying like Are you? No like but like Is what you're doing pretty innocent It's not like top secret stuff Like it's pretty innocent It's pretty innocent and I yeah yeah

I mean this you know what it sounds like Eric So obviously like 60 Minutes has been doing Different pieces I think they did one A week ago that has gained some global popularity But this thing Havana syndrome Yeah like it almost sounds like there's like an energy weapon Being directed at you more than it's like Supernatural

You may have caught a straggler, and then they just bought an energy weapon from Russia, and it worked. Like, there's a whole bunch of very strange stuff, but I wonder, I mean, maybe she's got a little psychic passenger right now, Steve, because if it was just in the, in the teams meeting, that's one thing. She's at Golden Gate Park or Dead Company ended their run. Yeah. I also ate mushrooms there when I was 23.

Great experience. Add it to the list. Add it to the list. We're not surprised when you say you eat mushrooms so much. You add it on your porch this weekend and talk to dogs. So here's just the last wrinkle because, you know, I'd been thinking about this after, like, before I was going to submit. And I was listening to, like, different history podcast and particularly one on Irish folklore. And I am Irish-American.

And they talk about the Banshee. Oh, yeah. And I got nervous. I mean, some people describe it as a male scream, some as a female. The screaming banshee. Yeah. And I am also, when you hear about, when you read about the Bansy, it's particularly, you know, is attached to Irish families that have a last name starting with O, Mick, or Mac, and I'm an O. Okay.

So I'm like, what am I doing on? Really? Okay, okay, okay, okay. You're my people. I'm a huge part Irish. Because we can't, like, it's a little out of my depth. I'm not going to speak for Eric in terms to actually diagnose what's happening. I wonder, should we treat this like a fairy encounter?

I am above all other things these days, I am very into Celtic folklore, Scottish folklore, Norse folklore. And if, if, if, it sounds like you are too. If you know about the, the banshee's not like common knowledge, everyone's heard about it, but heard about it. But what is it, Steve? Well, it's, those of us that don't know about the fay and banshees, please help.

Well, a banshee is just really, to put it simply, a manifestation of the Faye realm. There's like different kinds of manifestations of the Faye. There's, you know, there's brownies, silts, willow wisp, and the banshee is one of them. Right. Am I right about that, Casey? Yeah, I think it's even like possibly

ancestral spirits or something that are warning you, like giving you a warning sign about death is what they say. She don't believe that in this show. Family death. Yeah. It also could be a death of your part of life. It could be a metaphorical death.

Oh, really? Like that, we're moving on to new things. Maybe you're about to get a promotion. That's exactly right. It could be that. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Listen, go to Squarespace.com. This is where it's all happening, guys.

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It's interesting. This took a really, what, you said you named it? Yeah. Do we get to, no. We all want to know the robot's name.

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So head to Wayfair. com, day. That's Wayfair. W-A-I-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. This episode of the podcast, we're here to help is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Oh, sweet Mint Mobile. Jake, listen, I'm like you. I'm like Steve. We like to save money, right? You're using your big wireless carriers and they take the money. There's all these fees. There's all these things they're adding on. And you just think that's the way it has to be. Well, it doesn't. And, Steve, tell them why.

Because the thing is about Mint Mobile is you're going to save money, it's more efficient. And the calls are oh, so clear. I didn't realize there was a change. But my bill is, whatever it is, like $15 a month. It's $15 a month. I can't tell a difference. But listen, if you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com slash here to help.

That's mintmobile.com slash here to help. That's upfront payment of $45 for three-month, five-gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only, then full-price plan options available, taxes and fees extra, see Mint Mobile for details. But please go on, Casey. What were you going to say? Oh, I mean, I didn't go too deeply, like, because, again, I'm not like super up on Irish folklore myself. Right, it is interesting.

So, okay, well, you know, we should have done this meeting on teams. We should have done it on teams to get a little tight. But I won't lie, I'd be a little scared. I don't want anyone, I'm having a nice little Monday morning here. I don't want a banshee following me around the rest of the week. Yeah, you want any wood elps coming out of that bookshelf behind you? No. Yeah.

So, I mean, I guess my question is, am I haunted? Or do I just need to call IT, you know? I, okay, here's the thing. Like, I will say I am obviously, while I love this stuff and love the stories and traditions, I am, you know, skeptical, very skeptical. I'm not a skeptic, but I'm skeptical. But I will say I'm here's what I'm

Her boss is in danger The fact that your sister heard it Away like not via technology When you guys were at Golden Gate Park Is startling to me And that you And that you cannot hear it Which is so weird

Actually I don't think I've ever heard anything like this So if you want to the list If you want I want to say you know Because we don't know exactly how Diagnosis problem without you know Let's picking a problem without you know us picking apart a computer and all that stuff and talk to an IT person,

we maybe could treat, we can give you advice potentially to treat this like a fairy attack. What does that mean? How do I do that? Well, here is what I'm going to tell you. I got attacked by a fairy once. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you got to really clear your energy.

You got to seriously do it. It's true. It's a psychic disturbance. This is true. And like, do you meditate or have any kind of mindfulness practice? I try. Yeah, I'd say, I'd say. My husband does every day.

Oh, I love it. Well, you know we're big proponents of that there, but that's a great way to kind of tap into yourself and however you view, however you view the Great Beyond and all those good things that come from Irish folklore. And to begin to counterattack, the Banshi attack. I also think the first thing I would do,

this is truly the first thing I would do. If I felt like out. You eat a big plate of fries? Well, that would be after this, Eric. I love French fries with various dipping sauces. Actually, I meant to yellow mustard these days My fries like Carl from Slingblade. I am.

I'm going to real Carl thing. Things that don't surprise me for 300. But here's what I think you should do and do today, and that is get a hunk of iron, the most pure iron you can find. Iron is a repellent to every manifestation of the Thay. In fact, in Ireland, a lot of times people will put on their porch, iron knockers,

I have been told by colleagues and professionals to take a railroad tie for railroad ties and hammer them into all four corners of your property. That's supposed to keep the Faye away. But I do think the first order business for you is to get a piece of iron. And I'm talking about do it today. You can go to a hardware store and just go, hey, sir, hi, I'm looking for just a hunk of iron. And you won't be able to find it. it's easier to find you think and I would ask for the most pure iron you can possibly find and I would get a couple pieces put one in your front door maybe take one to work and set it on your desk

and if you want if like you're out about keep a buy a piece of jewelry with that's made of iron and wear it okay and I'd be curious to see what what results you get from that and I would bring in the iron and also set some intentions like put on put on Joni yeah put on some Joni with Brandy Carlisle live stuff that's recent because Joni's so dialed in right now. Yeah. And like, meditate with your husband. Like the best times I have are my wife and I'll wake up early and meditate together.

But you're just kind of checking in with the best part of the ethereal self. And so I would put on some Joni, put in some iron and read whatever texts are sacred to you. Wherever you are spiritually, it can be it can be Joni's book. It can be anything else. But like read that kind of stuff. and just let that stuff know

that it isn't wanted here anymore and you are releasing it with love and then I say for down the road we're going to try this stuff and you know people can laugh I really do believe in a lot of this iron stuff Steve is a skeptic and he believes in it but I think

that there's a lot of science that's undiscovered and we don't necessarily know why and there's power in geodes if it doesn't clear up I think we need to do a meeting with us on teams and confront the ghost Let's do a little digital voice, Bussie. Right?

Yeah, well, and now let's go to the, let's do a, let's maybe come up to a couple practical material ideas you could do. One, I would say, so in terms of your work laptop, are we, what kind of security? We got a Norton antivirus. You got a VPN cooking on this thing? Oh, it's pretty, it's pretty secure. I can't say where I work, but it's pretty secure. Oh, she can't say. Oh, no, I don't want it.

I don't want it. I don't. Yeah, she's Steve's handler. Wait, I hear there she. Are you my handler? Steve Burke has a giant hand. Steve Burke has a giant hand. Okay, okay.

So, yeah. That's the one piece. I don't want to put all my personal influence. I get you. I appreciate that. We're all about discretion here. But I, but so like, but you, yeah, it sounds like so you're certain like there's a firewall. There's an internal.

Oh, yeah. Have you talked to the IT person, Joey IT at your place? Joey IT? I have not. Yeah. You haven't. I have not, because it's not that simple. We have, like, it's centralized, and it's a big deal.

It's a big to-do. It depends on who you get. And then, like, you know, the person's probably going to think I'm, like, I don't, you know, probably just giving me a owner-computer, you know. Yeah. But your boss is hearing this. And, like, I think, I mean, there's got to be a way. See, I would love to be able to document these voices.

Because, I mean, like, I mean, like, when, you know, so when people are hearing this, are they just grabbing up potentially, like, like it's like you're returning like an AM radio dial and you're hearing different snippets of conversation or is it like a consistent voice? Like what details can you give us about these sounds and voices? Yeah. So I haven't gotten a, the reports haven't been consistent. But the most consistent thing that people have said is that it sounds like yelling or screaming.

Oh God. But then other people have said it sounds like a loud conversation, like a snippet of a loud conversation. So I don't know. Yeah. I mean, and no one else's computer is eliciting this kind of phenomenon. No, and if I mute myself, if I mute myself, it doesn't happen. So, like, it's definitely coming from my computer. That's bliss.

And that's where the Golden Gate Park thing gets even more terrible. Yeah, this is really, I mean, like, I feel pretty stumped. This is also, like, because of the Golden Gate, like, if it was just yet, you're working through your computer. I'm like, well, there's some kind of, like, it's tapping into, like, someone else's conversation or you've been hacked and someone's messing with you.

But the fact that your sister... There's some feedback or something, you know? Yeah, yeah, because things will happen. Like, you know, like, have you ever been on the phone? I don't think this happens as much, but, like, all of a sudden, you, like, you'd hear a snippet of someone else's conversation, like the wires are being crossed somehow. Like, I know there are technical glitches that,

that can happen, right? But the... I just turned on my turntable recently, and I, I heard Korean radio coming through. It's because you probably had a Korean transistor from like 1957 that you bought like probably. I had to get a pream for it, but it was really freaking me out. In between every song I'd hear this and it sounded like Morse code.

Yeah. And it really scared me, Steve. Yeah, that's scary. You're definitely being tracked Eric in for a good reason. Well, yeah, by you. Yeah, by me. Yeah. I think you're my handler.

I'm definitely a great handler. I'm really grateful. I luck down the handler department. You did. Yeah, it couldn't be a nicer handler to be honest. Hey, see, I, okay, look, look, I think you're going to have to do a, like, a three-fold type of defense system here. I think hedging your bets in case you're having a fey attack and because you are Irish and you, this is, they're after you in some way. And it may not be bad.

I mean, like, and I'm, I say, it may not be bad. My family has, like, being ghosts and things, you know, like, I have family members that swear by this kind of, you know. connection to the Have you talked to them about what's going on? Do you feel comfortable? You should reach out to Uncle Ted or Auntie Marge or whoever it is who've had these.

Reach out to Uncle Seamus first. Actually, go Irish. Reach out to Uncle Seamus. That was good, Steve. That wasn't bad, was it? No, that was good. I mean, it was confirmed. Yeah, no, I think talking to some family members

because they're going to say, oh, this is wild, here's what's going on. Or, oh, we have this before. you're going to have to take a one-way trip to kill Kenny Ireland and figure this out. Yeah. Which I can't recommend that. No. You're going to have to go stand on the fairy mound, draw some blood

and then squeeze your palm and then put a little blood right in the fairy mound in Ireland. It may take that. Or at the Jersey Mikes in Omaha with Steve. Oh, I love Jersey Mikes. Mike's way every time, baby. I would pay an extra five. That shredded lettuce. How can iceberg lettuce just shred it up

like that be so good? For now, though. It got bought by... I know. I know. It's going to have that weird bag. I'm upset. I know. I'm upset about it. It's already gone on Hill.

Yeah. I'm living in a bygone era of Jersey mics. So here's what I think we should do. I think you have to have a meeting with the IT person and just say like, my boss is hearing this. Like it's not, I'm actually not other people are complaining about this. And I would love to hear with the IT person's take on it. It's like, oh yeah, this happens.

It's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like, ask them. I think, I think you, you're. going to need to do a little homework, unfortunately. I think one, what do we do in case this is a, a, a, a, a fey encounter, you're going to want to get the iron. I would actually, it'd be amazing if you get this hunk of iron put it on your desk, and it just stops.

And maybe carry some around just for at least a couple weeks. Plus, iron, it's fun to have a hunk of metal, you know, on you, I think. Next, I think you have to talk to the IT person and just get their take on the stuff. Because this could be a thing that he or she has run into, and there's an easy fix. it's like doing an update to 5.49 ZF. And I think doing the update too. Yeah, do an update. Eric's big on.

Eric is big on staying up. I'm a huge update guy. Yeah, he's like... According to the colonic doctor, in quotes, that I met recently, she says these things are trying to communicate and that you do the update and the people that are actually, the tech wizards that are doing this know about this and each update is designed to get it out. so she's going back to like chat GPT 4.0 because she wants to talk to them. Eric,

perhaps this isn't someone I should be allowing to put a hose inside me. Eric, Eric, did you say you self insert the hose? Yeah. Why? It's dirt cheap. It's in the valley.

Jake's talking about his colonic of like two nurses putting in. Like, yeah, that's a leading actor, Colonic. I got a character actor Colonic. It's on Hollywood Way. Steve, you're welcome to join. And this doctor. And I think,

I think if we hammered her on where her doctor credentials are, I don't even think it'd be like, yeah, you know, the upstairs clinic in Grenada. I'm just going to call her a doctor, but she swears these beings are trying to communicate through tech. And I want to believe, but she says the update helps with this. So I think completely delete teams in conjunction with your tech person, completely delete teams, reinstall it, and then you're going to have that iron and you're going to set intentions with it. Okay.

You're going to be playing Joni Mitchell, play, you know, Freeman in Paris loudly, play the coyote song. Yeah, I love the Cady. Oh, no, it's great. That guitar riffs. Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do what a riff. Yeah, play Coyote song, say intentions, and then completely delete that version of teams and then reboot it. And I think you might have some luck. I love it.

If you don't, we're going to check back in here with you, and we're going to get on teams with you. And really quick. And we're going to ghost bust in person, which this whole podcast has been building toward. We finally may have a chance to do it. And I'd love to take a minute really quick. Casey, if you would help me out. Actually, we're going to help Eric out and say, Eric, you got to go to a new colonic person. I think first off, the self-insertion is highly questionable.

It's almost like it's only legal if you self-insert. Well, she's probably not credential. Probably. There's a person that's telling you aliens are talking through your laptop to you. And yet what if this works today? What if this doctor, in quotes, is how we solve her problem? I think she knocks out teams, reinstalls it with the iron, with intention, with Joni Mitchell. I think there's a really good chance you're going to be on my doctor on Hollywood way.

I don't doubt, Eric, look, your methodology, I think your advice is sound. But that's coming from you. I'm not going to give this shady-ass doctor the credit for what you just, you said. You deserve credit. Eric, that was good advice. All right. All right, you do. I'm willing to admit you might be right.

Okay. I stay corrected. Casey, thank you. You have helped. Checks in the mail. We're going to get Eric to a proper clock doctor. One without self-insertion. All right, you ready to go?

Just stick that hose up your butt, kid. I mean, what? That's what she said. I'm sure it is what she said. This is not, I don't think this is how, like, when Jake described you, an actual nurse is the operative word. He said he had two nurses. Yeah.

Numer residuals must be nice. Well, yeah. I just die in everything. I think I think. I got to put that hose in myself. Look, we can say you to a proper chronic on the we're here to help HQ visa card. Jake will pay for it? He'll pay for it.

Yes. Oh, you're paying for us. Yeah. Casey, so check in the mail. You just helped us. Truthfully, the last insertion was not easy. I will say, again, this is one that kind of stumped us because it's really hard to, like, for sure, diagnosed where the problem is coming from.

But do we think we gave you a little bit of information to maybe at least an opening gambit? I think it's good. And it's a good motivation to meditate regardless. Absolutely. But also, as you know, you're in with us now. Yeah. So if this stuff doesn't work, we're going to go right to the belly of the beast.

We're going to go into Microsoft Teams with you and see if that entity comes up. And Steve Berg is probably top three most equipped people on this planet to deal with us. John E. L. Tenney, Steve. Steve Berg, and the new Chicago Pope. Those are the big three for deal of paranormal stuff. That's a good company. Thank you. They do exercise them, Steve. You know this. I could exercise somebody. Easy. You have to exercise yourself. Easy kidding. Hey. Hey. Okay. So, look, I kind of, I'm going to go ahead and call this a to be continued.

This is a part one case. We're definitely going to have to maybe, can you like try these protocols we gave? you on the material and immaterial side, see how it works and get back to us in a month. I would like to do this call, the part two, rather soon, if you're okay. So can you reach back,

reach back out to our producer, and let's get you back on in two to three weeks, if that's okay, because this is an ongoing problem. I don't want you to, you know, be languishing out there in trouble with weird auditory voices.

So this is a part one. We are not done with this. That's the opening gambit to see how it works, but you're going to follow up with those. Is that okay? Awesome. Yes, absolutely. Thank you both so much.

Thank you, Casey. And thank you for helping me with Eric, with our little, you know, intervention here. No, I appreciate this, you too. I feel like Casey maybe this whole thing was just to get me to quit going to the valid. That's exactly right. Casey, check the mail.

And Casey, thank your sisters, too. Tom, we really appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we'll see you next time in San Francisco. We'll see in Chinatown. We love Chinatown. All right, Casey. Oh, okay, oh.

It's so good good. Bye, Casey. Bye, Casey. Bye, Casey. Hello caller. We are guessing you're weird or weird adjacent. You are on. Weird here to help with Eric and Steve.

Caller, what's your name? Where are you calling from? Hi, I'm Stephanie, and I'm calling from a Mountain West flyover state. Oh, I love that. I love the anonymity, too. We can respect that. Stephanie's not your real name. That's great.

I have to guess. Mountain West Flyover State. Don't guess. She weren't say anonymity, Steve. about to really drop some shit on us. It's Idaho or Wyoming, I can feel it. Steve, she wants anonymity. She's not going to give.

Give me a little hint. Don't, don't indulge this, call it. Don't indulge this. This is a safe place. I am Caliarius. I got a nose. He knows a sandwich in every mountain west. I do.

Are you guys, are you guys known for a pocket sandwich? Our food is actually Chislich. It's not a sandwich. So Chisleck is the state food. Wait, is that Czechos of Bakken with Chisleck? It's like steak. Now all Steve Berg wants in this world is chisling. Are we smoking those or are we like, are we brighting those the day before and then slow cooking them?

What's going on with these chislox? Every restaurant has like their secret recipe and everyone says theirs is the best and they're all right. And how do we spell that? How do we spell that Stephanie? I'm sorry, I know that we're going off. You broke it, you bought it. You got too good guys. I'm Googling Chislook right now.

Oh, look at that. Oh, I know what? state you're in. Okay, I'm not, I'm not revealing it. I know what state you're in. Okay, tell me off there. I've been in that state. It's a good inn. I can tell. I can tell already. It's definitely Idaho. Okay. It's not Idaho. Well, I'm not narrowing because she wants anonymity, Steve. You're right. You're right. We're here to midwife her through this and you're getting the four steps. You're right. You're sorry. You don't do that anymore, Steve. I love a mystery. We don't use leeches to pull out the good humors anymore. Okay. We're, we're, she's allowed to eat. She's like she gave us a nice hand. I think I know where it is now. But this

call her clearly wants anonymity because something big. is going on. But first caller, so we know you a little bit better. Give us your Desert Island album, movie slash premium television show and albums. So we get a little taste of who you are. Yeah, give us a taste. Yeah, I'm really loving prize fighter from Mumford and Sons right now. That's been on repeat. So I would definitely take that. My kids and I have been re-watching Harry Potter. Oh, hell yeah. I think I would take Harry Potter and Pride and Prejudice. Oh, great stuff. Oh, Pride and Pride.

You got some good taste there, friend. You're elevating at a high level there. Yeah, yeah. I mean, look, look, we could, you know, mince words on the Mumford and Sons thing, but that's okay. Moving on. No need, Steve.

People love them. People love them. You know, I just went to a 600 C theater, Brian Joneson, South Masker, and they didn't sell it out. So our friendship doesn't fly. That's true. People love them.

People love Marcus Mumford. Brady Carlislelele loves him. Brings them out all the time. I mean, I know how much was supposed to respond to that honestly or should i just lie okay uh don't ever lie steve don't ever lie sometimes you got to uh Stephanie uh I'm so I'm gonna I'm gonna put the chislet uh obsession aside for now I will deal with that later on my own time but why this man's gonna be making chisler I will be making chisler he's gonna be free base chisler tonight baby oh new way to make red meat that's exactly the way

to Steve Berg's very soul very but caller you want anonymity chislook's the only clue have what is going on what's getting weird in your life and how can we help yeah i think this might also give away some clues so where i live rose quartz is really common oh boy oh boy i'm reading rose quartz down right now oh boy that is uh the pzio electric effect it is a conductor of electricity aka the vehicle the supernatural travels through go ahead and for people and i like that's pseudoside blah what do you think powers a watch you Absolutely. PZO electric. A watch is powered from quartz.

Yes, thank you. The most reliable watches. You just replace a battery, but this watch has like 20 pieces of quartz in it because it's science, you moron. And it can help people too. So leave us alone in the comments. Right. So, yeah, so you got a lot of rose quartz and chislik where you're at.

So what's going on? Well, so my yard in particular, we can't like go anywhere without finding really beautiful, large pieces of course just all over my yard. Oh, you got a business, man. Guys like Eric and I will pay top dollar for... Oh, yeah, I paid an obscene amount of money with Gioads, especially in my drinking

era. Yeah, you did, you did. A few cocktails get on eBay, I'm buying Starlight and giving it to Billy Jameshaver. Eric used to leave precious stones on my porch from my back. What a beautiful thing. What a guy. I love you, Eric. Hey, is your back better? It is... Well, I played video games for 12 hours or so it's actually really hurting right now. But your back was better.

It was. I mean, You may need to express a stone to me. I'm sure it is. I can't believe. I'm sorry, I'm naive. I didn't know you could just find rose quartz in a yard of a Midwest flyover state. This is so cool to me. You must live on sacred ground, if I may.

Well, I guess that's the question, right? So how do I, what do I do with the courts? Right now, the yard is just for gardening and keeping my kids contained. But the park across the street, like every time I go for walks, I see rose quartz. courts there too and I did send some pictures of what we've dug up so far like my kids love to bury it in the sandbox and then find the treasure again

so how do I not waste this opportunity? Okay first of us. You're going to help. You're here to help. I do. I do. You're kidding. We're Gioed boys. Give me a taste, yeah. We're famous for our GEO, love of GOs. We are though. We're like Hank on breaking up. Oh my

God. No way. That's Willie and Millie. I don't know this was possible. Steve. Look at that. Oh, this is so cool. Are you kidding? We are looking at a yard that is just willy-nilly, haphazardly has growth court strewn about. Like, you couldn't mow that lawn. Look at that, buddy.

The clippers on your lawn must be get shredded to heck. I don't know. I mean, you ain't run. You ain't playing. You ain't playing flagged. You ain't deal with the geodes. This isn't barefoot grass. I mean, you would shred up those feet.

I didn't know this was possible. You must feel so like protected and happy in this home. Definitely. And I just don't know like how do I utilize it more? How do I protect it? How do I? I think potentially we are about ready to embark on a business pitch. Eric, you like, yeah, I know where you're going and I love it.

Sure, Eric and I are song and dancemen. We're artists, but you know what? We're also businessmen. There's nothing wrong with turn to profit if you're honest and fair and don't start busting unions like all the billioners do. Eric and I are about... Tell me, Steve. Tell us.

We're about private equity. We're about getting health care for the people, about having stock options to end the business. You are on the precipice of starting a massive rose quartz business. Right out of the gate, what I'm thinking you do is you start collecting these things.

You make it a family affair. It's a family-run business. You get yourself a wheelbarrow. The kids, one, you're cleaning up the yard, so it's going to be... much better to mow and mulch and, you know, and aerate the yard and you can run around. But I think you should start collecting these

and either a take them to a stone polisher. My grandpa was a stone polisher. He was a stone polisher. He was a farmer. No, what? Yeah. He had a workshop at his basement, and we would go visit him. We would polish stones.

And you can get these grinders, polish him, make him shiny. And my grandpa used to sell them to, like, buddies. He used to make belt buckles and stuff. No. Oh, yeah. Do you have any of these belt buckles? I do.

I do. In fact, No, Steve. Oh, Eric, I can get you one. Can you, can get you one? Can you show us real quick? No, they're not. They're all at my mom's house.

Everything's over my life. Oh my gosh. How did I not know this? I love it. But I think, like, I mean, roast quartz, here's the thing. It is not just a rock that has no value. Like, I have a big piece of rose quartz

in my living room downstairs, and it is precious to me. And I was given to me, but I would have paid top dollar for this. I think you need to collect. these and in bulk get them polished by a professional or you invest in a stone grinder which which is like a spinning wheel that you plug in and you start polishing these babies and then I mean like you could drive a semi truck full of this rose course to Sedona and make

thousands of dollars like any I mean like any kind of new wage shop like I mean you can start an online eBay store like a little Etsy shop where you sell polished rose quartz. I mean, this stuff is free. You were sitting on a virtual gold mine, potentially, Eric. Potentially better than gold. Because the healing powers of gold, yeah, it does have some. And also drives them mad, though.

It makes people great to do. Rose quartz is, oh, gold fever is a very real thing. Absolutely. I've had it once. Uh-oh. Not good. 102. I had to go to the ER.

Rose quartz is known as the stone of unconditional love. And it is widely used in crystal healing to promote emotional. emotional balance, self-love, and deep inner healing. They say it is believed to strengthen the physical heart and improve the circulatory system. Skin care, Steve, we have a rose quartz roller in our refrigerator right now. I bet you do.

And you roll it on your skin like that, and I swear you feel really great. So it's used in facial rollers to improve skin health, reduce wrinkles, and increase circulation. You can make your own rose quartz rollers and those things sell like hotcakes online. It also, some believe it can increase fertility, though it has no scientific backing. So it just hasn't been proven yet by science, but it may.

And then they also say how to use rose quartz, place it on the heart chakra during meditation, and it has environmental harmony. Placing large pieces of rose quartz in the home, especially in the bedroom, can create a peaceful, loving environment. I think we're in on the ground floor of a fantastic new business here. that we are willing to promote on weird here to help. Absolutely. And we're not even taking a cut. Well,

we just believe Steve stop. I think there's a finder's fee. No, no finder's fee, Steve. We're going to our greater angels today, okay, Elon? We are going to help this incredible small business. I believe everything happens for a reason, Steve.

She found this rose quartz. We're going to start polishing it as your incredible sainted grandfather did. We bow to our ancestors here, especially anyone related to Steve Berg. But I've bought. rose quartz on eBay before. Yeah, I bought it too. And a lot of it comes from China. It's expensive, too. The idea of getting real rose courts from a flyover state, which by the way, that state is not. It's a great state. I think I know where you're at. I am so serious about like, if I had

courts in my backyard popping up out of the one, I would be like, I'm rich. I'm rich. We'd be leading men. I would be leaving this podcast. I would hang up the acting jacket. I would be, I'm sorry, Eric. I got rose courts fever over here. I, I, I would be making money hand or a fist. I'd be going to new race fair. I pray you don't find roast quartz in your yard. We got a good thing going on here, your daddy. I would be at the farmer's market.

I'd have, I mean, seriously, you could go to a farmer's market. You could drive up to like some kind of like, a closious city to you. Go to Denver, Colorado, open up a little kiosk at a farmer's market and get ready to count cash for days. Counteract that energy coming from the airport. I mean, caller, right before you, we had another caller that is basically having a terrifying ghost or fay in her Microsoft teams meeting.

And the first thing Steve prescribed was sacred geodes. We're getting iron. Iron. We have prescribed rose quartz before. I do have it in the corners of rooms here. My wife hates it, hides it, puts it away. But I'm like, can't argue with results. We're doing fine with the rose quartz.

So I truly think, start polishing this. But like, you have a healthy chunk of rose quartz there. to start this fun little business. And I think the idea of like our listeners, they've heard us at Prescriberos courts. So the idea of people getting it from, you are now a big time friend of the pod. Oh, yeah.

And to get it from a magical yard harvested by you and your magical family sent with great intention, this, it'll just be a fun little side hustle. And then Steve said, yeah, we're artist, character actors, but we also love a side hustle. We love a side hustle. 10 eBay listings going right now. Some Otani Japanese cards.

And I think Rose Quartz can be your Otani cards. Like, I think this could be an incredible thing. Also, I mean, like, you know, you may, it may behoove you to send a sample. It may behoove you to send a sample to the weird here to help P.O. box. We're paying for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll pay you back for the shipping. No, no, no, we're paying for the Rose Quartz.

We're at first. I'm happy to pay because I bought them on eBay. Fine. We'll pay for the Rose Courts. We'll pay for the rose courts. Did you hear that caller? Oh, in the name is science. Give me these things from the yard.

Fucking Elon over here. We're going to pay you for the rosecores. It doesn't matter, Steve. I do think it would be good to pay it forward, too. I don't want to maybe like chance running out. So I think sending some out to the pod just to keep the good energy. Go on. You would love it.

I'd be most honored to have a piece of roseports in our home. I would too. I'm going to put it in the windowsill. And I'm going to be honest. I put out my stones in the full moon. I do think also you can make, you could like to gamify this, which kids,

you know, like, look, I don't have kids, but I'm a great, I'm like a professional uncle to my nieces and nephews. When I gamify anything,

you know, like put a little game behind like chores or whatever or something we're doing. It motivates these kids. So I would go out and purchase a wheelbarrow, small wheelbarrow that you get at a pawn shop that's going to run you about $29. I know because I bought one. And you,

fill this thing up? You're like, all right, little Teddy, it's your turn. How many can you collect? Your yard is going to be squeaky clean. You'll be able to run around barefoot, play flag football, you know, hacky sack to your heart's content without jagging up your feet. You don't want them all bloody and cut up,

like you're Bruce Wilson, diehard. But also, you're going to be collecting all this worse courts that I'm telling you is basically just a wheelbarrow full of gold. I'm not joking. Like, and you could, since you could probably collect bulk, you could take this to a stone guy and basically what he'll do. He'll probably do it for free.

He's like, I just want to cut of the sails. Or you can get your own stone polisher, which sounds intimidating. They're not very expensive. I've looked into it. And it's also not heard to do. You just need a little water. Yeah, that sounds fun. You know, a little water and maybe like a baseball game on the transistor radio in the background. And then you're just sitting there, you know, having like a cool drink, polishing stones, making that sweet cheddar. Oh, that's living right. That's living right. So now And also we've told our listeners about rose courts. I truly think our listeners will be fired up to get some rose quartz. Oh, they would.

Hearing this story, sometimes when you're buying things, you're buying a story. Yeah, you're looking at stickers for my wife's new dog hair brand. That's beautiful. And, like, part of that is the story. And I think people loving to get this rose quartz from your family and this magical yard of yours is a thing that will really fire people up. I sort of think we need to help come up with pitch a couple names for this new business. Oh, Steve, you're right. So, Stephanie, does any, is there?

any kind of like special like uh so like i don't know how into you this business thing you are i am very into you starting a business because i want you to be uh pay for your kids college using course you found in the in your backyard i'm sure you'd be into that right but maybe definitely my husband already has a little side hustle with like a laser engraver so we could even create little you're halfway there you already have yeah you can even laser engrave the rose quartz to put a cool little logo on it absolutely what is he laser engraved what is your husband He makes it cribbage boards out of wood or the trophies with acrylic. You married well, Stephanie.

He married really well. I bet he's an American badass. That man deserves a plate of chislete tonight. Hey, okay. I mean, I called AAA to change my tire. Big deal. Me too, buddy. I'm a Southern band.

Always tick your AAA tow drivers, by the way. I know Steve knows this, but like, if you always tip them because they have a really hard job. Derek Waters taught me that. His brother was a tow truck driver. Is it true? People don't tip them. I know that. always tip your, that's, that goes up fain.

That's psychotic to not tip people like that. Hey, I didn't know until Derek told me 20 years ago. You weren't tipping him? Are you serious? Before you were, like, thanks for the free thing. I was a wayward new, Steve. I was raised by the Gonzaga basketball team. That's true. That's true.

All right. You're a stowaway with a little left back. Yeah, I love, yeah. Hoping the trees with a corn cob pipe. Oh, please, come on. Wow. It's a Christmas. Like, I love the idea of we can even integrate the laser engraver with this and do a fun logo for you.

Or, like, worry. stones or, you know, I think our listeners would love to have these rose courts in the corners of their rooms just to keep that energy flowing, put on some good music. You put those big rose courts chunks in a corner of each room. You can put on Mumford and Son, Steve and I aren't going to judge anyone else's music because we have a obtuse, weird taste, Steve. And I really think this is the beginning of a really fun side hustle. And as you know, you're stuck with us.

So we want to promote this business on Weird Here to Help. And we want to give our listeners a chance to buy this rose quartz. Before, and before we start pitching names for this incredible business, I'll be taking off and betraying the S&P within 18 months. You could also maybe, I might even commission you to make some kind of like sculpture out of this rose cords, your husband.

Oh, with the kids. Well, mostly for you, Eric, because I want to replace the demonic bathament. It's not. My wife found out of Long Beach Flea Market. It's not bathroom. Eric, that's bathmet, brother. It's a ram.

I went to September. high school. We were the CC Rams. That is Baffamette on your wall? It's not Bathamette. You're going to have to talk to Jess Rohnen. Well, I will. I love Jess.

She loves this RAM. We just found someone on task grabbing to put up the RAM. It's Bathema. She didn't trust me to put up that ram. You know this. It's Bathament. It's not Bathemat. I don't dabble in that.

I'm a good energy job. Judge Jerry, Court is adjourned. So now we're going to let's pitch names. I want a new judge. Redible business. Stephanie, do you have Is there any kind of like family significance,

like a fun thing you guys say? Like, let's start with names, but I'm going to pick your brain a little, Stephanie. Rose's quartz. Is there a rose in your family? Oh, yeah. Like the Titanic? No.

The one thing I can think of as like garden of courts. Oh, my God. And that looks nice. You can sit here for three minutes pitching you a bunch of ideas for yucks. Garden of quartz is it. Oh, I think of actually literally have a garden of quartz. Like a new time's.

Roman font. Ooh. Oh, right? I'll tell you what, Steve and I have our issues. The kid knows his fonts. Look, at the end of the day, I know my fonts and we always circle back around and agree on that.

Yeah. A big front guy. We're in the new Rome, so use Times Roman font. Absolutely. Now, I garden of course, I mind that dead dead. Steve, that's perfect.

Are we moving on? Maybe is that it? I mean, let's think of anything else. Like, is there a family name or anything associated with quartz or where you're at? Or like, you know, Maybe we, Chisdell. I mean, like, you know,

if there's something like fun, like, you know, like a judge Wapner take, like the people's courts? Like at the people's court? That's not bad. Eric, you're just saying that to be nice.

No, I wanted, I actually was looking to make fun of you. Yeah, but you're pretty good. I was looking to mock you and then the people's courts. Yeah,

people's courts. Uh, that's really damn. Uh, uh, well, you come up with one. You're good at this.

This is where you live. Oh, uh, courts, you know, uh, uh, Rose nose.

Rose nose. Rose nose. Rose nose. Maybe it's courts and roses, and everyone gets a rose with their courts. Courts and roses. I like that a lot. God, see, you're way better at this.

Or even a pressed rose. Like, you can start pressing those. Roes and literature in your Harry Potter books. It's always kind of cool and fun and goth. It is. Who doesn't love a pressed flower? Courts, I mean, like, I feel, I'll be honest, I think

the, would you say Garden of Quartz? Was that the first one? Mm-hmm. I feel like that's the one to beat right now. On the Rose?

On the Rose. But I think Garden of Courts sometimes just the first answer is too. It kind of is. I think she has a Garden of Quartz and everyone gets excited. I think Courth of a strong thing. Yeah, we are selling a mythology

and this magical quartz garden being collected by this magical family with laser engravers and children. Yeah. It's all we need. I also think it doesn't hurt. Let's not spike the ball here.

It doesn't hurt to add a little seasoning on top of a story. Seeing like I would almost say like you look, is it shady? Sure. But it's business and business isn't, you know, it's not for nice guys finish last. I think you tell a story where like me and my family, we have this beautiful property. I got two healthy kids. We got a dog cat. We've been always enjoying playing out of the yard until one day little Timmy comes up with a cut on his foot.

and overnight Rose courts was, rose courts was popping all over the yard. So you create a little backstory. You had to, you know,

to sauce up the whole business a little bit. We're sauce guys. Yeah, I love, I love sauce up, Steve. Yeah,

did you just come up with that? I did. Let's T.M. What's the fuck? What's the fuck? How are you this good on a Monday morning? Also say this caller,

if you get down this road and you want to help and tell him this story, I'd love to volunteer to do a voiceover. Eric's a professional voiceover guy. Wow. Yeah, Eric Wood.

For real, I love it. From a magical garden in a Midwestern flyover state, a family exploring their backyard tapped in to magic. Huh? Do we like that, Steve? With bellies full of chiswick, you know, a heart full of dreams. Welcome. We're always just with Steve to go back to the chislet and sauces,

and it's how we got here, so we're grateful. Now, in terms of the chislic, if I'm just, you know, some haphazard eastern Nebraska boy. Am I smoking this Chiswick or am I just like, am I cooking it like a steak and then chopping it up, like a chopped cheese sandwich or? Ooh, a Chiswick sandwich. I think it's more like Cabob style. Like I think you grill it already like cut up. Oh, wow.

Yes. So it's just a fun word for kebab, basically. Yeah. No, it's different. It looks like, it almost looks like burnt tips too, a little bit. I feel like I went to a high school with a guy named Jeff Chislick or might have been Seaslack, but like I think it might have been actually. Well, caller, it's been. amazing having you.

Okay, so as you know, we're now deeply ingrained. We're a part of this. Steve is not taking a cut of this. I mean, but I think we have a hell of a name for this business. We have a voiceover when you are ready to start doing commercials. Yeah, yeah. And like, we're just excited to be in on the ground floor and we want to be your first

client. We want to pay you for some rose courts. I would like a, I would like a sample for free. I will PayPal you for your first rose courts order. And I'm so excited to put this in the corners of my. home and my wife cannot move it. Also, to replace the demonic bathamette. Yes, my God.

We're going to bring in Johnny L. Tending to see if I have a bathamette statue. Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, you have a bathamette statue on your wall. Staring over. I'm going to fight you, Steve. It's staring at me right. I can't do this anymore. It's staring right at me. Right, and you're very uncomfortable.

It's a ram, central Catholic Rams, Class of 95, Portland, Oregon, Vancouver, Washington, drove across the river. Okay, caller. This is just the beginning. This is only chapter one, but we love you. We're excited to be more. Get those things. Go give your family a hug and then give them a wheelbarrow and put them to work.

Absolutely. It's a family affair. It's a family business. Pay for that college. You can take a nice little vacation to Omaha someday. Stephanie, it was an honor. Thank you for sharing your magic Garden of Quartz with us today. We're here to help.

Absolutely. I'll be having Cs like later this week. I'll let you know how it goes. He's not kidding. I'm not kidding. Bye, friend. Bye, buddy. Bye.

Peace out, sister. That was a hate gum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right.

We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man.

Listen to That Was Us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.