We're Here to Help - 282: Game Daddies & Barf-a-Rama

Episode Date: April 20, 2026

Gareth and Jake coach a future reality TV star. Then, they get a little sister out of a "fun run." Plus, the follow-up to Ep 281 "Sh*t Where You Eat (with Zoe Lister Jones)." Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hacks is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, here's stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room,

and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hacks streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to the Hacks podcast on HBO Max or wherever you get your podcasts. I thought I'd come in late. I kind of steal the thunder a little bit. Hey guys, Steve Berg. Steve, this is our second intro. We've done some ads.

You are particularly spiced up today. Is it, what's going on? What's the combination inside of you right now? What have you done? Well, I woke up. I played tennis with my friend Brad, who's a foot surgeon, and I got the best of him. And so I'm feeling pretty good. You mean he had foot surgery?

No, he's a foot surgeon. Right before the mat. If you're a surgeon, that means you're a good tennis player. But I also demand that we don't play at the country club, but we play at the city courts because I'm a man of the people. Oh, this is the worst. I apologize. I'm the Woody Guthrie of tennis.

You know, so it should be a, it's a sport for the people. I'm, you know. Yeah, tennis is a sport for the people. It is, it is. Very egalitarian. Gareth, you just were at a film festival for your movie. How was it? It was great.

we had Give It up at the CineQuest Film Festival. And it was great. I mean, seeing it on the big screen and all that, but I'm curious what, because I've been to South by Southwest, you were just there. Yeah. And I'm curious what your experience is.

You know what I did that I think is not the move? I went to all the screenings, not just the big one. I went to all of them. And I was like, I shouldn't have done this. You don't need to. Yeah, that's what I felt. The director needs to.

Yeah, right. He did. So, yeah, somebody should, what I do is I fly in. I do the premiere night, I do the press date, and then I fly out. Yeah, that's smart. It's, I don't think it's there to party to, it's like, you're in and out, you're presenting it. It's like the audience, while you're all there, they're there for the whole festival. If you're in it, it almost feels like a four-day birthday party.

Yeah. Awesome. It's really, also. I would be a pig and shit. I'll be there for 40 days, man, long after it's over. You should get a blanket, man. You should create the Steve Burke film festival. I should, man.

Your lanyard doesn't work. We're a different festival. It's called the big and shit. How was it? And the big question is, and I already know the answer, but for our audience, did Dan end up being your driver? So the bit, Steve, was, you know, because we also financed the movie. So while we were looking at the day, you know, like on those,

press days, there's like, everybody gets their own, like, town car. But you're really going three blocks at a time. Yeah. But it's like, who could, what actor could possibly walk across a street? And so you're literally in a town car to, like, drive four buildings. And so our producer, Ashley,

goes like, hey, just so you know, it's a crazy markup, and it's like $25 to $2,000 to $2,500 per car per person. Jesus. And I was like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. But I was like, but we can't do ubers. I'm not going to ask Dakota Fanning to be in an Uber.

And so she said, what if we got like a big escalate and hired a driver? There we go. And I was like, then we're all together, which is better anyhow. And then I thought, wouldn't it be fun if my brother was their driver and we didn't tell anybody? And he turned it into like a disco van. Oh, my God. Give him like the

hat, the glove. Yes. I love to forget. Give him a little karaoke mic. Yeah, yeah. Perfect. Right. That's how it's like cash cab. That was the exact inspiration I where people first get in and Dan's looking away and then he goes like,

it's the cast of the sun never and people go like and the way the virus, everyone would have done. With no money is just a strange cab. Or cab. Or cab. You take away cash. It's just cab.

Oh my God. You know what show we should produce a version of cash cab but with our guys? So like Steve drives a cab, you drive a cab. I drive a cab, Eric, Uncle Dan. Eric Cab.

But you literally, we, you know we could maybe do it's like get partnered with like an Uber or a Lyft. And it's all set up with cameras and people come in and they're just like, hey. And then Steve goes like, to the airport. Well, how about a quick pit stop? You know, I've got an idea. Eric's cab would be wild. I've got an idea that we could do that. And I like so much, I'm going to wait to pitch it until we're done recording.

Let's hear it. Come on. Give us a low taste. What if we tried to pair with Waymo and we either get Eric or Steve to be in the front so someone thinks they're getting a driverless Waymo, but there's like some way. They wouldn't get in the car.

There's some way we legally cleared before. By the way, Gareth, that's not safe. If I was driving a robot car and I was like, you know what, I just want to get in, and Eric or Steve is in the front seat with that energy, I would walk up and they'd go like this, you, Jake? I'd go, I'm not.

On your way, robot car. With a chair. I'd pop it in and there's no other driver. With Elvis Chainsodd. Well, do you know what the fun thing about spring salads is? You can have a lot of different fun with fresh produce. I mean, I would be going on and on. You know what you could do, Steve, which actually I think people would love.

We could combine it with your cooking stuff. What if you had like a little grill, like a little like things you get like a foreman? Yeah. Yes. And you're just, when people get in, you go like this, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. And then you go, where are you up to tonight? And they're like the bar and they go,

can I offer you some finger food? I got to pitch on that. What if we, what Doordash, what if a DoorDash someone gets to order nine ingredients to Steve and he has to make a meal without knowing what the ingredients are. Oh, how fun and such a challenge. You know, this is also stuff we can just do on YouTube. They do things where, like, but honestly that shit,

like last meals and stuff like that, those guys, that guy, Josh, who's great, who's done our show. He'll just do things where he'll just do things where, he'll like pull up to a place and say like, you like this restaurant, you want to chat? So we could literally have Steve Dr. It's like, it'd be really fun.

Kyle would definitely do that. I'm available and I work at a reasonable rate. A strange twist. Anyway, okay, so quickly, before we get into that, so what happens, Jake? So Dan's all set up to be the driver in your head. Yes, but you remember, Gareth, the setup where Dan, so then I thought, Steve, if I pitched you that idea,

Now, it would be different if you were in the movie, but let's say you weren't in the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be like, sure. But everybody loved you. It was like he and Dakota and Joe, everyone gets along really well. Just a fun way to be incorporated into this whole event. And also, honestly, to be the star. Yeah, right.

Yeah, spotlight, yes. I don't need attention. He gets the spotlight the whole time. He gets to rouse me whenever I go like, hey, my man, honestly enough, and he goes like, oh, and he has the mic, I don't. Right? Just fun. So my brother goes, I don't know.

Maybe have a PA do it. That's on text, group text. A PA. And why, though, but the motivation is partially because he's like, you're going to need me. Like, he kind of in his head is like how a child picture is going to like, you know, your dad takes you to work day where you're like, I'll run the meeting. Actually, I'm going to go. Dan needs the, he's the one person of the group who needs his own town car. I agree.

You know? That makes sense. You sell out the two grand just so Dan gets a separate ride. But I will say he did, Ashley hired another driver who was a total bore. The guy didn't make any jokes.

He was just a professional, 65-year-old driver. Regular driver. He was just a driver. Join us job well. Yeah, but it ended up being really fun. But we're going long. So everybody, Stevie,

will you take us out with a quick song? Fifth up, okay. film film film cinema cinema cinema what is it good for at the end of the day for entertainment that was a little lou reed talking talkie talk can you take us out with a little excitement to get to the comedic podcast yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh lights camera action a film festival coming your way with the movie from jay and the movie from gareth and what about steve oh he's got something What the hell?

See, but it has nothing to do the film festivals, right? Oh, it doesn't. He wanted you to throw it to the podcast. Yeah, the podcasts we're about to start. Oh, we're here to help, and we're going to find out if they actually help this time with Jake and Gareth. Jake and Gareth, Gareth, Gareth, and Jake. We'll take it without further ado.

That's pretty good. I like that one. Cut, print, moving on, good gate, checking on a new deal. Oh, let's actually take a meal. Without further ado. Hey, everybody, we just want to remind you if you want to watch new episodes of We're Here to Help, it drops a day early on Hulu. So you can watch the new episode a day early.

And we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes from season one and season two. So get involved. And we were brought to you by Storyworth. Oh, sweet Storyworth. All right, you want to hear about my mom? I'll talk about my mom. My mother's the absolute greatest. Many people know I've gone public with this.

I have a great relationship with my mother, but I don't want to talk about Jake's relationship with my mother, okay? That's not something I want to get into, because there isn't one. He took it a wheel of fortune. I'm not going to get into it, but I love my mother, okay? So most Mother's Day's gifts are about one moment. Storyworth is so much more. Storyworth gives your mom a year-long experience and gives your family a book filled with the stories

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So all I do these days I wear black shirt and black pants. I started to dress like a stage manager at a theater for some reason. These days, it's a hilarious thing to say. But here's the thing about quits to give a shout out. They sent us, Gareth, you and I don't know if they send them to you, Stevie. They should. They really should. us a bunch of shirts to or clothes a link to like pick out some clothes and i got four black shirts

and my stylist that was sent to me through apple this woman annie do whenever i have to do a big press day she comes by and she goes what are you wearing these days and they always make fun of me because the clothes i wear are terrible and i showed the quince shirts and she goes what are you doing in quince shirts and i go this is what i wear now she goes this is the first time your clothes are cool she She goes, wear that. And I go, I can wear my own clothes. I know. I wear Quince now to like when I do like a press day.

For my special, I had my friend Jill like pick out my outfit. And everything she sent me was from Quince. And I was like, I love Quince. And she was like, how the hell does an idiot love Quince? That's what it is. So Quince is kind of it. So guys, right now go to quince.com slash here to help for free shipping in 365 day returns. That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it.

and you will. It's now available in Canada, too. So don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash here to help for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash here to help. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Listen, go to Squarespace.com. This is where it's all happening, guys.

I've been working with Squarespace for a long, long. time. They just really help you kind of build up your business because it's an all in one website design place. It's a website where you design websites, but it doesn't just help you with websites. It helps you pick the right name. It helps you scale up your business. You can show off what you're doing professionally. Get people there. Get you paid all in one place. Like I said, I've worked with Squarespace for a long time. I have so many websites for different things. All Squarespace. We on the show have used Squarespace repeatedly to help people. out we love them we use them can't recommend it enough can't imagine going

anywhere else so go to square space dot com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code Gill sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain hello hello how are you I'm good how are you you're here with the G man and I What's your name, please? My name is Nina. Nina. Where are you calling from, Nina?

I'm calling from Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. Oh, beauty. And Nina, if you were going to write a, if there was a book written about your life, what would the title be? Oh, my gosh. Wow. Running forever. Wow.

That's great. That's cool. Is there anything about UD track or just emotional? Why am I writing it down? I wrote it. Well, so I teach fitness classes based on like tread intervals and I also run ultramarathon. Oh, yeah, dude. I just love to run.

That's a great title. Thanks. Okay. So what's up, Nina? Okay. So I'm so happy that you all to put this call because I really need help with coming up with a strategy for, hypothetically, if I was selected to be on a reality. competition TV show.

I just, I feel like I need some sort of like anchor strategy to help me make decisions. Wait, Nina, is this more specific in terms of shows that you don't want to mention? Well, so I'm still in the process of applying for it. And I don't know if I'm allowed to say the title, but I can maybe give details about it. Tell us and we'll beep it out, but I can't live in the vagueness. I need the meat and potatoes a little. Oh, okay. Oh, my God.

Amazing. Okay. So. Isn't that fun? Yes. Where in the process are you of being? I'm leaving next week to go on the show. Oh my God.

Okay, great. Great. All right. That's what I, because I remember this email. I wanted to make sure this was the same person. Yes. It's also great that there's actual stakes.

That's what I mean. I'm making my video for Survivor. What should I do? I'm making it, but I don't know. I was like, Mina, we can't help with that.

If that was this one, I was like. No, it's happening. It's happening. Okay. Okay. So you're going to be on the show. we might have to, you know what, Natalie,

should we just beep out the name of it and then whatever else? And Nina, is this your real name or a fake name? It's a fake name. I don't know what I could say. Okay, great. We should do a fake name. We'll beep out that she said it one time and then we'll just call it the show from now on so we don't have to beep it so many times.

I love it. Okay, we're in good. Thank you so much. Yeah. Okay. So you're going on the show and you leave in a week. Actually, a couple of days. Yeah, I leave in a couple of days.

So quick question, just because the production side of these I find excited, Gareth and I are a big challenge fan. How long are you blocked off? So they block you off for up to two weeks. The whole thing is only two weeks? It's always so strange. Jake, what you thought was about to be said was two months. I'd say two weeks.

They do like isolation for two days in a hotel. room where they take all of your stuff and then you're in this hotel room doing orientation and then they put you in the actual game and then I guess if you get eliminated it's like I could be out in like I don't know a couple of hours you're going to be gone for two weeks but I hope I'm gone for two weeks yes you must be pretty excited but what are yeah of course so what are you where are you at your prep and what do you need from us do you want to give us any more lay the foundation we're obviously very excited to be right dare I say you're game dads.

I think that's a fine term. I like it. I like you're my game daddy. Yeah. So, okay. Took a weird turn when you said daddy, just so you know, for me.

I thought it was weird when you called us the dads. Well, but then it said daddy. And I was surprised you supported it, if I'm being honest. I was trying to be positive, but it was a little bit cute with a K,

K-E-W-T. Yeah. But now we're game daddies. And by the way, I'm back in. I like game ladies. Keep going, Nita. I like it.

I like it too. Go ahead. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So I feel like I have two hopeful traits for this kind of thing. Like I'm very empathetic. I can make friends easily. Like I can form bonds quickly, which is great. That's like one aspect of it. But then I'm also very competitive.

Like I said, I do these like ultra-marathons. I like teach these fitness classes. And so I'm not sure what side I should lean on more heavily. And like I don't know if, for example, we have to all choose to vote someone out. Like the empathetic side of me will want to be like, like, no, let's save them. But then knowing that that can eliminate someone and then get me closer to winning, you know, then I would maybe want to eliminate them.

So I feel like I'm just like torn between who I should, you know, what to focus on. Obviously, Gareth and I could create a character that we would be excited about. But what are you excited about here? What kind of person do you want to be? What are you really specifically thinking you want help with of like, we can talk strategy, but a lot of the strategy is you got to adjust on the fly. You got to see what the game is. And be good.

I mean, a part of a big opponent is, yeah, is being skilled at luck. I mean, that's the intersection. But yeah, go ahead. Right. I'm honestly just mostly excited to play. I feel like I just want, I'm on this, like, quest for adventures in my life right now. And, like, it just seems fun to meet a bunch of people into, like, be in this weird environment, like, learn something about myself.

I don't know. Just, like, play these games, try to win. How about this, Jake? Huh. What if she just got out of a long-term relationship? And she's here to sort of, there we go. So you're here, so your angle is you're here, you're playing with house money. You're excited.

But you think that a lot of this puts you in the headspace where you can win because you just want to win for yourself versus the kitty, the prize. All right. Well, let's do this really fast. Let's get crazy. Nina, tell us a little bit about yourself. How old are you? I am 30.

long-term relationship. When did it end? It ended like six months ago. It was eight years. Eight years. Fuck, me. Yeah. And how did it end?

I know. I ended it. I don't know. I felt like we kind of stopped growing. It was totally fine. We were all good. We probably could have gotten married. It was fine.

But I just felt like we deserve more of something. And I wasn't sure what that was. So I was like, let's just take a break and, you know, I'll live on my own, never lived on my own. Wow. That's being great. I know. Thank you. I think he's doing well.

So it's good. So that's very good. Now, let me ask you a question. Economically, when you're running these classes, how are you doing financially? Oh, well, that is like my fun job. I teach fitness and yoga for fun, but I have a corporate remote, you know, eight to five job that pays well. Okay, so you, money's not going to be your play. Yeah, money might not be a play.

I don't know. Because if I did, I would feel better about maybe starting, like, my own gym or wellness center or something that I'm more passionate about that I don't want to do right now. This could be good, Gareth. It could be, but let me tell you, whenever I watch these things and the per, like, okay, look, I'm going to confess, I've watched a lot of guys grocery games. If the person's like, I get to pay off my house, I go, I like that. If the person's like, I want to take my kids kite surfing.

I'm like, I don't care. It's the fantasy into, like the hobby into fantasy business. But, Gareth, this is what I'm saying. If she wins, she's going to open up a fitness and wellness company because it's her passion. She just got out of a long relationship. She got out of it because she thinks there's more. She thinks there's a better life and she wants all these people to experience it. She is earnest.

She is honest. She thinks there's a way to play this game with integrity. There's just a way to play. do things. I've been running my whole life. I love it. But this is a safe space, so I'm going to pitch something. Please. Near death experience, woke her

up, realized she wants to do her passion instead. I love it. I love it. I love it. Here's why I love it, Nina. Hold on, Nina. Let your two game daddies get weird. Yeah. Here's why I love it.

Everything about your story is so fucking close to being a fucking home run for the producers of the show. Eight years. Gonna get married. Corporate job. Man, wife, we have kids. What a fucking bore.

But then, a fucking train almost hit her. But you want to know why? She was running with her headphones on listening to the We're Here to Help podcast. And literally, as she was running,

the train was coming, one of the guys on the show went as a joke talking about some stupid duck thing. She looked up, the train was about to hit her, she jumped forward. In that moment, Nina, when her life flashed before her eyes,

she said, if I kept going with my regular life and I died right then, I'm not impressed with myself. This happened six months ago. So I broke up with him because even though I love him, we're both doing great, I'm not being true.

I'm the kind of person. I'm so scared to be. be here, but I have to try these big adventures because what listening to we're here to help did and help save my life taught me, you only live once. I think it's right. I think you let fear dominate the first 30 and the next 30 that's not, you're going to dominate fear and that's what brought you here. And Nina, how you're going to play the game and you say this on camera is no fear. So if that means you have to be make a harsh decision, you're going to. You started calling yourself House money.

House money. That's exactly right. So your nickname, whatever your real name is, aka House Money, they say why, and you tell that story. Your thoughts, Nina. Yep. I love this. This is really helpful actually because I think that's something I could use that. I could say that.

That's like almost a real story. I was running, listening to We're here to Hope, Doc. And then I got, maybe a car. Maybe I almost got to buy a car. I love it. There's a lot of cars in Pittsburgh. Sure. Yeah.

And that made me not fearful. I love it. This is great. So now we're going to play a quick game, Nina. Gareth and I are going to be producers of the show. Let's practice really fast. Us asking you your backstory. Okay.

Okay. So they're bringing you in a room. There might be some other contestants, too. They might do like 10 at 1, where they just kind of go around. It'll feel like a weird camp. Okay. All right. So, hey, everybody.

How you guys doing? Thanks for coming to the show. Season 3. Woo-hoo. I'm Jake, everybody. This is my partner in crime, Gareth. I'm really excited, everybody. You guys are great.

You were selected for a reason. Do not forget that. Have fun. Be confident. Remember, this is a game. Okay. So now what we're going to do is we're going to go around and everybody's going to, we're going to ask you guys some questions and just, you know, speak from the heart. You got anything, Gareth?

No, I think that's true. Look, just be honest. We want you to be compelling. But, well, like Jake said, this is a game. So let's go around. And don't forget. Don't forget. Don't forget. I can't say this enough. It is a TV show, right? Right. And a game. And a game. So we are thinking about energy, fun, right? Think about the people watching at home a little bit, but don't get in your head. Let's start with you.

Ma'am, is it Nina? Yes, I'm Nina. Nina, hey, tell us a little bit about yourself. What's your story? What brings you here to the show? Yeah, so I'm from Pittsburgh. I'm 30 years old. I currently work a corporate job, but I also teach fitness classes and yoga on the side.

That's like my passion, my fun job. I really enjoy running. And so what actually made me apply for this show, know is that I was out running in Pittsburgh, early morning. It was kind of dark. I had my little headlamp on, going pretty fast. I've got my headphones on. Nina, I'm liking where you're going.

And yeah, it's annoying I interrupt you. But that whole setup, snoresville. Okay. Start with crazy story of why I'm here. We can learn all the other details you like to run as it goes. He's right. headline then story exactly okay so now let's go to you guys let's ask some quick so you the ma'am who looks like a runner what's your name um my name's nina nina what brings you to the show why you here kid

yeah i'm glad you asked it's a crazy story i was outrunning around 6 am one morning in pittsburg really dark i had my head lamp on um i'm running pretty fast listening to we're here to help love that podcast, check it out if you haven't. Really funny. And I did not notice the walking sign was not in my favor. I continued running across the street at this intersection and just this huge Ford truck is flying at me, sees me at the last second, stops. I jump out of the way.

But I had like a near death experience and I just felt like I needed to make some changes in my life after that because life is short. I've had a great life up until this point. Lots to be grateful for. But I just felt like it was time for some changes and some adventures. So I actually ended my eight-year relationship. I got my own apartment. I started applying to crazy shows and just putting myself out there.

And so that brought me here. So I'm excited. Great. Circle Star, all the stuff. If I am the Jake character, Jake and Gareth characters are both, their hearts are beating fast. Yes, it's exciting. You were 10 out of 10.

My only note would be started with, I'm here kind of because of a near-death experience and then get into it. Okay. I like that. That's better than crazy story. Yeah, okay. And then. That's great.

Thank you. Then after, once you're in it a little bit more, then you could say, you know, I have a corporate job. I wanted my dream is this. But I realized that period, you know, after the breakup and all this, I got to make these changes. and part of me being here, and I'm terrified to be here, this is so not my personality,

is you only live once. And something like this show is a perfect opportunity for somebody like me who goes, how am I here? What? So that they get to get a promo

also for their show where you go like, I thought, what's the craziest thing I could do? And it was apply for the show. And I wouldn't say you're applying for a bunch of, of shows.

I agree. Yeah. It's only this one. Okay, so good. That's a crazy lie. But it's only this one. I don't even know why I lied about that. This is why it's good we do this.

This is the rehearsal for the spotlight. But it's only this one because what, when you have a near death experience and you need to do something crazy, what's crazier than the show? That's, they go like there's promo. She gets it. Yep. stick to that and remember

you know really fucking go leave it all out there yeah and in terms of one of your questions in the beginning how should you play don't have a game plan

you have to actually you gotta be fluid in these situations you can't go at time like play with your heart you seem like somebody who wants to have play in it like a

game full of integrity and do the right thing I just watch beat I'm watching beast games and you also see a no I haven't seen it It's fun.

But you also see, like, certain people play the snake game, certain people play the sincere game. You want to build alliances and play the sincere game? Do it. See if you can get people together that you guys are loyal to each other and you play a real game. So who you are as a player can be closer to who you are in life. Who you are to the cameras and interviews is a big story.

Yeah, and I also think when you're doing it, don't let the nerves be your thoughts. I think that all the time. Like I think back to when I used to like start doing, I mean, it's very different. But you almost have to control that like negative voice in your head that tries to overtake. Get it out, breathe through it and just fucking go for it. It's going to be great. Nina, how you feel?

Okay. I feel great. I really appreciate this. Thank you. Will you call with a follow up and we can ask you a bunch of questions of how it went? But you probably can't tell us what happened. Yeah, we probably, we could probably have a light. follow up maybe about how the story played out, but then once in airs, we can actually have you on it.

We'll have you back on it. We'll have you back on it. It's exciting, though. I think this is really good. You guys are good at this. Thank you. Well, you're going to be great at this. Go kick ass on the show. Go get them. Oh my God. Thank you. Okay. See you, bud. Yay. Thank you. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. That's right, Jake. It's Wayday at Wayfair. From April 25th through the 27th, you could score the best deals in home. You can get 80% off with free shipping of everything. Wayfair makes it easy to find exactly what you need in your house.

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Look, this is it. If you travel, let's go. Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saly e-Sim data plans. Downloads Saly app and use code here to help at checkout. That's S-A-I-L-Y. Hello. Hello. Hi, how are you?

Good. How are you? Great. Can we get your name, please? Sure. It's Kendall. Hi, Kendall. Kendall, where are you calling from today? I'm in Boise.

Boise, beautiful. Whereabouts? I did a year in Boise. Oh, really? Yeah. Just downtown, regular Boise. Near the co-op? Yeah, actually.

That's interesting. Sounds like someone just got validated for living there for a year. Kendall, you ever DM'd a celebrity on Instagram to get them on your podcast and didn't hear back? Hey, Garrett. Felt more about you and less about her, yeah? Completely agree. Kendall, how old are you? I'm 24.

24. All right, Kendall. You're just a kid. Boise kid. A boysie kid. I got to say, Kendall, your voice and your tone sounds older. Yeah. I thought you were going to say 43.

You present more adult. Kids. Yeah. I can go higher. Can I hear that just as an option? Yeah, let's start again a little higher. See, hear what you think a 24-year-old. You think I think a 24-year-old sense.

All right, here. We'll go from the top here. Hi, can we get your name, please? Hi, it's Kendall. Hey, Kendall. Where are you calling from today? I'm in Boise. You're where?

Sorry, you're a little quiet. I can't do it. Okay, all right. We'll stick with the natural one. 24. Let's go natural. All right, Kendall. What's going on?

What can we do for you? So my older sister is making me. do a St. Patrick's Day 5K race. And I don't want to do it. I can't run very well. And so I want to get out of it. What does that mean? You don't, you're out of shape or you actually have...

Or you just hate running. I just hate running. I just don't enjoy it. But she's all into running. Okay. Okay. So what is the question? Tell her no.

I don't know. She was ready straight for her. Well, I want to get out of it or find a way to make her regret making me do it. Ooh, I love the second half of your question here, God. Oh, I got pitches right off the bat. Okay. Amazing. But, okay, anything else we should know?

She, like, runs marathons. I can run. I just really don't want to. Like, I'm capable of it, but I just don't want to. So special K, what are you looking here for more? You want us to get you out of it, or do you want us to get her to regret it? Because both great options, but let's pick what's narrow it down to one, what you want more in your heart of hearts.

I feel like it would stop her, because she's been asking me for like three years to do this, like trying to make me do it. So it would stop her in the future from making me do it if I make her regret it now. I like that for us too. I like make her regret it. So we're going to participate, but we're going to use this event as a way to send a lifetime note. Don't do this again.

This is a wheelhouse, Gareth one. I like this a lot. Yeah. Because I actually, well, I've had this come up over the years. And my life, I think life eventually becomes a series of things where you said yes to something and you go, why the fuck did I say that? It's like future you is having to pay the bill for past you agreeing to do stuff.

But I think you're right. You're young enough where if she's trying, she's trying to lead you in a direction. Look, there's a lot of great excuses surrounding a St. Patrick's Day 5K. And my first instinct is let's involve alcohol. Now, you could do the straightforward, hey, I've been celebrating with green beer all week so much that I'm pissing green. I can't make it. I'm too hung over.

But I think we go one better where you get nice and tipsy and maybe embellish how intoxicated you are for the run. And we maybe even go as far as faking a green puke. But I think showing up to this tipsy, drinking at this, too drunk to perform. I think you might have nailed it. If we're trying to get her to never invite you. again, Kendall. Yeah. And you actually

barf at the beginning of the race and it's where everybody has to run It's a total party killer. Over the barf. She's intense though. Like she's a marathoner. She'll probably be like, suck it up.

Why did you drink? Let's keep going. Okay. You know? I do. I think we can't, listen, these are two forces fighting. This is like the good guy, the bad guy shooting. We're fighting each other in the, but I do think drunk will beat persistence.

Are you going to run with her? I guess that's the idea. She said she would slow down for me. Okay, so she wants to do, because for her she's like 5K is nothing. Let's just run and gab the whole time. Yeah. Jake, I'm going to add a little to my pitch. I think this is what I think.

I think we do. I think we let her know you've been drinking the past two days. You're too drunk to do this. She says, I'm a marathoner. You can do this. You just got to dig deep. I did it one time. Okay. I'll do it. We're going to make a little fake green puke. And when she's on one of those moments where she's waiting for you, you're going to barf the green puke on her shoulder. When you're hearing this, the idea of fake, drunk and barfing, are you liking this path or no? Should we? stay on it and heightened it or should we go another direction? Where are you at? It is like it's within something I might do. Okay. Here's why. Here's why this, we are going, you know, we're blitzing.

Yeah. We're blitzing because we're trying to say this play doesn't work on us anymore. If you puke on her shoulder down her neck a little bit, it's a ruiner for her. She's not going to be happy with you, but you. but you did say, I don't want to do this. I've been drinking, and she's been pushing this healthy lifestyle. You're basically saying, look, you did this. We can also change.

So I think we've hit something with the barf a little on her. What if we do this? What if we took away the drinking and you just go like, I don't like these five guys, I'm just doing it for you, but I don't like to run. And she's like, it'll be great. then as you're running, when you get towards the end, you start talking about like, I don't feel what like this.

I don't do this. Then take like a kid's, a pouch of kids food that's just that like soft mush. So she doesn't see, fill your mouth with it and go like, oh, oh. And she'll be like, are you okay? Lean over like you're feeling weird. And then she'll be like, Ken, are you okay? And make gargling sounds. And then like grab her into a hug and just.

spill the stuff out of your mouth a little so it goes down her back so she can't see it but she just feels warm, wet apple sauce but it's like mixed with pears and grapes or corn. And she goes like, oh, you go like this, sorry,

I don't feel good. And you go, I think I just barfed in my mouth a little bit. Then you finish it and she'll go, I am never inviting her again. She fucking barfed on my neck. Here's what we're going to say. We're going to say that you have a water bottle that is going to be filled with the fake puke.

And what you're going to do is you're going to take a big sip of it, hold it in your mouth. As you're coming up behind her, you're going to sludge a bunch on her back. And when she turns around, you're going to let her see it come out of your mouth so that she thinks we've got a belly full,

not a mouthful. And all you need to do is hit the back of her legs. May I go one further? I want it on the number, these stupid fucking running numbers. You puke on that. May these pee they hold on to these numbers like they're,

You know, like their first place ribbons. You yarf on the back of that number, that's over. Who the fuck is it? You're not going to get invited to another one of these. By the way, Kendall. Yeah, yeah. I think he's right about the chicken noodle soup vibe. A little thing is soup or a little mixture.

She doesn't know what's in your thing. Yeah. Yeah. We're doing the stand-by-me moment. Yes. Yes. This is called, for lack of a better word, Lardass. Yes.

Because if you go back to stand by me, you remember I seen it stand-by-me? Yes, we're doing run by me. And that is we are setting up for the bar for Roma. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah.

You sludge some on the number. Get a mouthful. Then you sludge it on her number. You put the lid back on. She turns around. You give her shoulder. Just ruin both numbers. The front back numbers.

Humans don't need license plates. Go ahead. I'm sorry. If you really do this, Kendall, and you pull it off and it's real. And you don't break. You don't laugh after. No. You don't throw it silly.

And then go, Sarah, I was on a podcast. If you really do this and she thinks you fucking barfed on her at mile two of a 5K and you're really apologetic and embarrassed and you have to stop the race and maybe she doesn't finish either, she will be very nice about it, annoyed with you. She will never invite you to run again. True. And that is what you called about. And let me say this. Before you answer, Kendall, this is what we don't want. Because we like this.

We don't want you to say, yeah, I'm going to do it. And then when we do a follow-up, you say, I didn't do the puke. But what I did was I sort of touched the back of her foot and I knocked her shoe off a little. And I said I farted. Yeah, if you're in, you're in. Because we like this.

And we're talking about this is a lifetime pass to get out of this bullshit. So if you're in, you're in. If not, we can offer up some other stuff, but sometimes we'll do a follow-up and something like, I loved all your stuff, but I just ended up calling in sick. We want you puking on the back of her with some fake... Totally right, Gary. Corned up applesauce in the water bottle.

You yarf on her back, then she turns around, you do the mouthful, so she sees it come out of you. Kendall, take it away if you talk to us. the only potential plot point is me having to carry a water bottle of corn but what is the issue there

that she might notice it you're gonna put it in a water bottle a plastic water bottle like not a not a serious not a clear water bottle like an algin like a what is the one we've been both doing on the bikes but also you can do it in like a peloton type plastic thing

yeah a little squirty water bottle that does not show the contents. Okay. Yeah. Get those for two bucks. Yeah. Real easy. You're going to fill that with all the bullshit.

You're going to fake sip at the beginning. You know, put your lips on it. Just go a couple times. Okay. Now keep going. Any other problems? How are you feeling? Well, I'll potentially still have to run two miles.

That's this, but again, here's what we're talking about, though. We are talking about this is your day of sacrifice. You're right. You might have to run a little. You got to do some running. But this is, we are working. This is the montage of the training montage we're putting you through is not, oh my God, I'm going to do a 5K.

It's, oh my God, my sister's never going to ask me to do something like this again. Ever. So you might need to run a mile. And if she's waiting for you, that's great. You might even want to say to her before, hey, I don't get too far ahead of me. I want to do a little bit of this with you. I'm really, I don't want to do this. That way we make sure you're barfing all over her.

And like Jake said, you can barf on her. or real early. You don't got to wait like three miles into this. It's true. Yeah. Thoughts? Yeah, you talk, Ken. I mean, because Gareth and I love it,

but that doesn't mean it's the right thing for you. It's exactly right. It's the right thing for us, but we want it to be right for you. I think I can pull it off. The after effect having to tell my parents, like, yeah, I puked on McKin. She made you do it.

You're the victim. But you know what you tell your parents? I didn't want to do this. She keeps inviting me. I don't feel well. Yeah. And she, you know her. I can start now.

I could start now. Pretending. It's very early. I would say maybe a week, three days out. Maybe you're getting over something. We don't want to make that. I think that's right. You need to be on antibiotics or anything.

Yeah. You don't want to be. You know what? You don't want to worry. You have something wrong with your stomach. We got a few weeks, Jake. We don't believe you might be at hospital for the event if you start now. I like the enthusiasm.

That's great. But you're right. Maybe 24 hours before the event. You know what it is? It's that you make her think you're trying to call out of it by saying you haven't been feeling well the past couple days. And she's going to say, oh, you're coming up with excuses. No, I'll still do it.

But I'm just telling you, I definitely don't feel 100% at all. Right. And then I'm puking. And then you're going to spill the concoction on her back and have a mouth full of it when you do that. You're going to relid the water bottle. And when she turns around, you're going to fake the puke. I think this is pretty – That might make me actually puke.

That's not an issue. Yeah. But Kendall, what do you think? Because I think this works. I think it works. I think I really have to just commit. Okay. So now you walk us through specifically what you're going to do.

and only if you're really going to do it. Right. Okay. Three days before, not now. I start saying, oh, my stomach doesn't feel so good, you guys. My kids make me run this thing. I don't want to do it. And I slowly work my way up to the race.

I pack my not clear water bottle of applesauce and corn. Am I still making it green? Whatever you want. You're the boss. No. Because now we're sorry. saying this is just a genuine aversion to racing or

this in general. I'm not even drinking. I'm going to suggest we do applesauce. No. This is a you're now doing this sober, but you haven't been feeling well. You're not going to be drinking. You're going to do applesauce and chicken noodle. You're going to mash it up a little bit.

And then you're going to throw some corn in it after because corn always survives a puk for some reason. But here's what I would like, Garrett. I would like now, Kendall, you to stop asking us questions and you start telling us. Agreed. Okay, okay. I put my corn last, take a little soup, that mixture in my bottle. I take it to the race. I kind of keep it. Maybe I have a little race belt and I like stick it in there, but I pretend to drink it a little bit so she thinks it's water. Then we get a mile at most in and I collar close and I lean over our shoulder and I sit up a little.

little bit of a peep on her back. Preferbly on the number. Okay. And then when she goes, ew, what is that? What do you say? Say, oh, I puked on you. I wouldn't say it like that, obviously.

Oh, I piqued on you. Oh. But, Kendall, unless you say I puked on you in the, with no enthusiasm like that, if you can give that a little heat. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. which I'm you know you're going to your heart's going to be running let's do that moment one more time okay so and Jake my may I say let's the sound sells too so maybe we hear Kendall's gutteral puky sound before the I puked let's do this really fast Kendall I'm going to be your sister we're running I want to hear the sound you call me over for the hug and then barf on me Okay, am I making the sound or you're making the sound? You're the one barfing, right? I'm making a sound?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wouldn't it be insane if I made the sound and then you barfed? Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. Jake fly. Jake fly. It's got to be you, right? That makes sense.

Right. All right. We're running. Okay, we're running. Hey, McKinnon, I don't feel so good. Can you come over here? Oh, you got it. Let's go. Ken, let's run.

No, you need to come over here. I need your house. It's a 5K. This is simple. Let's go. Please, I'm, don't feel so good. All right, what is going on? Okay.

What the hell? What just happened? I had to puke and I just, I puked on you. I can't do that. I can't do this Okay Kind of Kind of good

Kind of insane I like it I got a couple notes My first note Is here's what you've got to remember You're going to need to You're going to need to sneak the sip The puke sip

You're going to need to sneak Yeah And then you're going to have to hold it into your mouth Right You're not going to talk through it So you can't be going Hey wait up, wait up You're just going to have to

You're going to have to fight call for her, hope that she waits up. Even at the beginning of the race, you can say to her, don't get too far ahead of me, okay? This is your thing. You can get ahead, but wait up for me. When you see that she's waiting up, you take a sip, all that. After the puke, I love the puke noise.

All that's good. She's going to go, you just throw up on me, and I want you to say, this is your fault. I said I didn't want to do this. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's great.

All right. Let's go back again. So we're running and let's see, here it happens. And you now have it in your mouth, right? We can maybe hear a little bit of what we said before, but yeah, we've got to be very aware that there's going to be a long pause. Because Gareth is right. You can't say come here, then take a sip.

It's obvious. She's going to be like, why do you have like noodles hanging out of your mouth? Why are you taking a sip of soup and spit it on my mouth? Did you bring soup to a race? Why did you spit soup on me? Are you fucking okay? Well, guess what? But, by the way, you'll never get invited back if you do that too.

Even if it fails, but you spit soup on her and she knows and you fake barf, she'll go like, my sister's so weird. I invited her a fucking 5K to be together. She brought fake soup in a water thing and pretended to bar and spit soup on my neck. Port it all over me. I literally just wanted to bond with my sister and get some exercise. I guess she called the show about this. She faked barf and then went like, brr, and it said, you made me do this.

I love her. I'll hang out with her in restaurants and bars. I'm never asking her to run again. So either way, you're going to win, but let's see if we can pull it off. Well, you and I love this line, Jake, but this is really the truth here. I don't know karate, but I know crazy. We win either side of this. Either way, you're not fighting.

Yes. All right. So we are running. Okay. Good job, Ken. Huh? Hey, are you okay? Hey, honey, are you okay?

Now, I grabbed your shoulders. We're close. Are you okay? You made me do this. Ha ha, ha, ha. I mean, come on. Good shape. Yeah, I think we're in good shape.

You've got, like, this is our basement. I would honestly, This is what I would say, Jake. We want an update after the race. For your sake, Jesus. Make the fake puke a week in advance and video yourself

trying this out into the sink. See how it looks. All that. Do a prep version. Film that for our purposes. Then you'll have the rehearsal out of the way. And I think day of the event, If you do something close to that, we're in a good spot. We are in a great stop.

That's excellent. Either way, it's going to win. Garith is right. It's either karate or carasy. Yeah. One of the two are going to get you. But the other person who is thinking of fighting you is going to go, pass. Yeah, I don't want this.

I don't want this smoke. This is crazy. They're either crazy or are they no karate. Yeah. Yes. You either threw up or you made fake throw up. You either go, oh, or, you made me do this. And they go, do what?

Do what? Yeah. Yeah. This is right. I made you spit applesauce at me? You go, yeah. And they go, okay, do you want to finish the race? And you go, I'm going to go.

And then she has to look around and say to other people, sorry my sister spit applesauce. I guess I made her do it. And someone's going to run by and go, don't invite family on these runs. I can't go to that, I can't go to the bar right after. I have to go shower because my sister threw soup and corn down my shirt. why did she do that?

Because I invited her to a 5K. I wanted her to run like 20 blocks. And then they'll go, don't invite her again. Oh, no, no way. This is the life lesson I need it. It's not our thing. It's not our thing. I tried to push her into it because I thought if she just did it, she would like it.

She's telling me she doesn't like it. The amount of work she put into not doing it, she could have just got a train for this, but no. We're going to do something else together. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. All right. So you have your walking orders or your running orders.

A fake puke film, rehearsal for you. Good stuff for us to see after the fact. I would love to see a rehearsal video. And then day of, remember, time it outright. Don't let her see you sip the fake puke. This is right. Get it out. Make the noise.

Give her the beat to be horrified. Then hit her with the line you did this or something like that. Okay. I can do it. All right, Kendall. Thank you. Thank you. It's going to be awesome.

This is exciting. I'm not going to let it. All right. Yeah, I'm excited. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi. You okay? I'm great. How are you? Great.

We know you're a follow-up. That's all we know. So can we get your name? Sure. My name is Susan. Susan. And Susan, what was the first call? I don't remember Susan at all.

I don't either. I called because my, um, my boyfriend was eating in the bathroom in the middle of the night and leaving condiments. Susan, I do remember. Not only remember you, I have referenced this as maybe the wildest problem this show has ever had. And I really mean that. This is a wild problem. So refresh people's memories on exactly what was going on because it's pretty intense.

So in the middle of the night, he just wakes up, he turns the shower on, and he sits on top of the lid on the toilet. and makes like a corn dog or a pretzel dog or whatever and then bring mustard or ketchup. I just, and like dribbles it on there and they eats it. Okay, so he turns the shower on. He sits on the toilet. He's eating pretzels, corn dogs, whatever the hell it is. Again, you're good with all that.

Your issue is that he's leaving condiments in there and you're sort of like this is a bridge too far, which is fine. That's, you're good with that. So the problem was the condiments being left in the bathroom? Yes. Okay. Our pitch that you went with was what? I think I remember.

Let's make sure. Was to have a conversation with him about it and kind of set the boundary that, like, you can't be doing this anymore. And was there any sort of threat of what you would be doing other than the conversation? It felt like we said maybe throw the condiments out if he doesn't fall in line. Well, yeah, that if it didn't stop, then. like, you know, the consequence would be like, I could just put his underwear in the microwave or start moving, like, his shit in weird places. That makes sense to me, actually.

Yep, same. Right. Jake also recommended maybe bank pending the condiments to the fridge, but that didn't seem very practical. Okay. But I did have a conversation, and I sent your voice note about it, and it worked. You said, awesome. So we have a voice recording of a conversation between two of them. I would like to hear that now.

Yes, I would love to play it. We're not sure about whether we're going to be able to use it on Hulu. Because of him? Yeah, because we don't know if we have his permission to... Do we have his permission? I can get his permission. Yeah, we'll get his permission. And so, Susan, was this conversation, will you set up how it was it totally real?

Did he knew anything was going on? Did you hide the phone? How did it work? I just kind of placed the phone in my lap and I was like, hey, can I talk to you about something real quick? and just had a very breezy conversation. You love this. Okay, here we go. So, you know how, like, sometimes, like, you eat stuff in the bathroom and, like, there's condiments in there. Yeah.

Like, I would really appreciate it if, like, you didn't leave the, well, first of all, like, if you didn't bring the condiments in there. Okay. First of all. You know, just having condiments in the bathroom give you the ick. It gives me the ick. Okay. And I love you and I just, I want you to. Yeah, if that bothers you, I will make it never to not do that.

I feel like this is a safe space for you and like I, I like having a corn dog while the shower is running. But yeah, yeah, I know. I will, I will pre-condiment. If I do that, I will make a note to pre-condement before the bottle comes into the bathroom. Okay, that's, that's, thank you. But I do want you to know I'm not like taking a shit while I'm eating a corn. I know you're not. But yeah, that's fine.

If it bothers you, I'll make an effort to not do that, okay? Okay. Thank you. You're the sweetest. Thank you. Love you too. Bye. By the way, you guys got a nice thing cooking.

Great communication. I think he's a winner. Susan, that came out of nowhere. You just literally set it on your lap, sat down, and initiated that. yeah yeah I was just sitting on the couch and I was like I got to talk to

this can I ask why do you say buy at the end yeah the buy at the end is crazy because it went so well

and she said this same thing she goes you know because you knew you were like on a Donny Brasco mission I

this is what I mean it's amazing here's what creased me is his early like the way that he said well he was

wondering how how sideways is this going to go He realizes this is not okay. You know what I think, Susan, I think this is the goal of the show. I agree. Because he did not embarrass him. He wasn't mad.

It didn't make it worse. We didn't have to do this insane thing. But in the end, he goes, just so you know, I don't, I eat no corn dog while I take a shit like a crazy person. I just like to eat corn dogs and put my condiments on while the shower's going. Why he likes that? who the fuck knows but he does so you said

I'm totally cool with that but could you just leave the comments in and he goes yeah and guess what if he makes a mistake and forgets it's gonna happen nobody's perfect but he knows and you know he's working on it yeah that to me is a healthy thing

I agree you got a this is big bell ring oh to such a this is for everybody right now there's a lot of issues where people go people's expectations are too high of each other it's why no one's in relationships. This is wheelhouse, guys. I agree.

You might be with somebody who's a sweetheart who you love. He eats corn dogs in the fucking bathroom while it's running. He puts mustard on him in there. So I have a conversation and say, can you just leave the condiments in? And he's going to say, babe, I hear you and I'll try my hardest. Yeah.

This is a love story, Gareth. This really is. I mean, again, it's, I, you know, if I'm, If I'm, Susan, I've got more issues than this, but you're happy. He's happy. That was a lovely conversation. He gets it as he should. He's leaving mustard in the toilet.

So, but I agree. This is a perfect solution. If Aaron sat me down on the couch and goes like, hey, honey, I've been thinking. And I go, what's up? You're getting a little weird with the chimps, yeah? And I'd go, huh? Just kind of a lot of chimp stuff these days. And I'd go, yeah, well, I mean, because of the podcast.

She goes, not because of the podcast. You're getting a lot of chimp stuff. And I'll go, okay, and she'll go, how about five chimp things in our house? Other than that, let's be done. I'd go, seven? She goes six. I go, I'll try, honey. I love you.

And then I'll go, when I'm out there and I go, that fucking chimp thing would look great in our kitchen. I would go, she doesn't want it. Yeah. Because you know you got caught doing the crazy thing. This guy knows he got caught. Like, the jig is, honestly. He got caught. He got caught.

He's thankful that he had this amazing time. But he got caught. He caved so quick because he's like, He knew it's weird. This is wild that I've been able to leave mustard in the bathroom. I wanted it all and you're giving me 90%. I love you, yes. Yeah, I also, we both know that I've been getting away with something weird.

Yeah. Yeah. And if you didn't say anything, I'm two weeks away from eating Thanksgiving in the bathroom with the shower on. Honestly. I'm going to eat a whole turkey in there. The larger lesson here is that if you sometimes need to come here for confirmation, that you are right, and you need us to just put some wind in your sails to say,

further your journey because you have every right to say to your boyfriend, quit leaving barbecue sauce near where poop happens. Preach. I didn't know that's what our show was evolving into, brother, but you nailed it. It's an option. This shows a Swiss Army knife. There's like eight tools, but I'll tell you what, they all get used. I'll tell you what.

There's definitely two tools, you and me. So, Susan, congratulations. How are you feeling? Thanks. I feel great about it. It works. It was not as hard to do it. I thought it was going to be.

Just addressed it. Yeah, it was great. And what's been going on? sense. Any mustard in the bathroom? Nope, not a thing. Has he had a corn dog in there? You don't even know. I don't even know, but I have not seen any condiments.

Great. And that's all that matters. He wants to eat a full sandwich and they're doing it. This is like turning lights on when raccoons are eating out of the bins. They know they're busted. They'll scatter. You know what? It's also kind of like turning the lights on and you got a guy dressed like a raccoon

eating out of the bin and you just go. Hey, Randy, I see you, brother. I'm sorry. I love you. You do? Yeah. I don't know why I like to pretend to be a raccoon and eat garbage. And you go, well, I see you.

And he goes, all right, you know what? I'm going to keep doing this, but I'm not going to leave all the garbage scattered on the driveway. I'll clean up. I'll clean it up. And you go, thanks. And he goes, thank you, actually. I should have been cleaning up the whole time because I'm not a raccoon. And you go, you're not, Randy.

And he goes, yeah. I'm going to still. it out of the garbage and you go, I love you. He goes, I love you so much. It's true. You've just, you've turned the lights on this little raccoon and he still gets his garbage. He's just got to clean up.

So total win. Way to go. Great lesson here in communication. You did it in a loving way. It's a big win for us. So great work. And, um, let him know we say hi. Tell that fucking guy, man.

I might even try it one of these days. I've never had food in a bathroom with the steam coming. Don't do it. Don't start it. Hold on. Don't. But all of a sudden, the idea of a moist corn dog. Why not?

The idea of a dry sandwich gone wet? Great. I didn't realize, look, I think what Jake's saying is that maybe this guy's on to something because making food naughty, there's an appeal there. Are making food wetter? Steams. With capturing all the smells of a bathroom in the air with that moisture, putting it right in soaking it into the bread that you have with your soup?

No, I do like that he's eating a spongy item so it can really absorb a lot of the... It kind of just smells like clean, like detergents, like really tough bleach for the toilet bowl as well as crap. Now that we're talking about it, honestly, to me, the craziest part, the shower being on. But again, this is your world. So we've got the condiments out of the shit. But Gareth, he likes moisture. Doesn't clean up my issue, but I'm happy that the mustard is in the fridge. All right, I'm going to go eat a bowl of chili

near a hot shower. Why? Because I'm a raccoon. Because I... I don't know. I don't know. Something must have happened when I was like 10. Why are you doing that?

I don't know. I don't know. All right. Susan, thank you for the call. Way to go. We wish you the best. Yeah, way to go. Thanks, guys.

All right, thank you very much. Bye-bye. Hey, Jake. So I saw Hulu. I was watching some of the big show, and I got to see the one where I was on. And what do you know? I kind of feel like I'm on Real Housewives,

and I'm one of those people that are like, you turn me into the villain. I wasn't so like that. I can't believe what the editors did because you and the editors basically turned me into a punching back. because you just like making fun of me, which is fine because I just make fun of you back,

but not on Hulu, because on Hulu, it's all edited. So every time I'm about to say something back, it's like The Matrix, where I can't talk anymore, because, go on to the next one. It is shocking, shocking how biased this show has become on Hulu with your like magic editors. And it's very kind of like babyish of you that you're like, oh, make sure I look good

and you could beat up my brother, but don't let him say anything back. It's ridiculous. I feel like one of those people that are like, I can't believe what editors do. I'm not a monster. I'm a nice person, but not on your show. So here's like the memo, like for you and your

editing team, you don't have to make you out to be like such a wise cracking smart guy and your brother like a punching bag dummy. You don't have to. It's like not necessary. We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help. You can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash Here To Help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler.

Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike. Animations by Andrew Strelicki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to garethreth Reynolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a HeadGum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown.

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on HeadGum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars. and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry?

Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify.

New episodes every Tuesday.