We're Here to Help - 283: Leave It Inside & Dating A Newsie (with Jess Rona)

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

Jake and Gareth are joined by Jess Rona of Jess Rona Grooming! First, they educate a caller's dad about the birds and the bees (and the rhinos). Then, a caller gets the ick from a wall of hats.Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hax is back for its fifth and final season, and so is The Hacks podcast. Join the Hacks creators and showrunners, Lucia and Yello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky as they unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. On each episode, here's stories from the set, what goes on in the writer's room,

and how these beloved characters close out their final season. Watch Hacks streaming exclusively on HBO Max and listen to the Hacks podcast on HBO Max or wherever you get your podcasts. going on the classic movie. I'm going to get you, sucker. That was just something fierce. Gareth, what's a movie that when you watched just kind of defined it for you?

It just said like, this is it. I want to get in the business. I love this movie. This is just what I like. You know, when I was a kid, I fancied myself a Michael J. Fox. So back to the future. Oh, my God.

I've never seen that comp for you. Back to the future. was like it for me. And I, I remember I used to go to super cuts. That's adorable, Garrett. I used to go to supercuts and every now and then someone would be like, you kind of look like Michael J. Fox. And I would be like, you don't say.

The chemicals in my body are reacting in a way that I'm going to have trouble containing my enthusiasm from what you've just said. I got to say, I never saw that cop, but you got a little Michael J. That was, he was it for me. So what is it? Everything. I mean, I had the hard way. Casualties of war?

Casualties of war? Well, I've, I mean, I liked it, but I was more the hard way. Like, I would watch, I would watch his bad movies over and over. I would be a staunch defender of Doc Hollywood. Interesting. I love it. And what did you love about Michael Jay?

I just thought he was, I don't know. I thought he was, I loved family ties. He was funny on family ties. Love family ties. And then back to the future was just one. I mean, it was, you know, we're getting back to it now, but when movies were enormous events. Like I watched Jaws the other day on a plane. Yeah. And then after I was just kind of Googling around about it, it's like that was,

that changed culture. The movies that absolutely shook a season of entertainment and it was everywhere. And back to the future, I just liked Michael J. Fox's style. I don't know. What about you? Well, in terms of changed culture really fast, when we were doing New Girl, Rob Reiner, the great Rob Reiner came on and was Zoe's dad. And he would just fill the set with stories. He was just one of those like, he was exactly who you wanted him to be. Yeah.

Funny and warm. Sharing. Sharing. But jokey, willing to improvise. He and Zoe doing like song numbers in between stuff. And we got to talking about TV. And we were all just saying what we love about it. And that is like, you know, a lot of people see it

and it become parts of culture. And he would go, you know, it's different. He goes, the numbers keep going down and TV is. There's different ways. But he goes, when I was doing all in the family, he said, you would record a joke that you knew hit. And you'd go like, oh, that's a huge laugh. And he would go, and it happens at the 13-minute mark of the episode. So you would know when America would all laugh together.

Because as it would be coming up, you could almost feel, because everybody watched it at the same time. Crazy. And I thought, man, that's what's missing. I agree. Like, that is so nice that culturally, everybody watched the same movie when it opened. You had lines. So we were all affected.

Yeah, it doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't. I mean, well, New Girl was one of the, you know, I mean, even then you can watch, but there was communal. No, New Girl is different, but people find it in their, New Girl is still, people are still finding it for the first time. Oh, yeah. But that's what's...

But that's the luxury of the secondary market... Yes, but the other era was you saw it together and it happened and then creatives all adjusted to it. Then it influenced other things. Well, think about the Sopranos. Like, when that was like ending, you were, everybody, for the most part, was finding if you had HBO, you'd find someone at HBO, whatever it was. And you'd watch it at the same exact...

Like, think about the Sopranos finale. Yeah, totally. Everybody watched it and was like, what the fuck just happened? I mean, it was. Crazy. Fully a shared moment. That used to happen back in the day with Mike Tyson fights. Oh, yeah.

Sports is the only thing that still, it still doesn't. Yeah, sports still goes on. It's different, but it really was. I mean, you just had, this is so get off my lawn shit, but you just had less options. Yeah. So you savored what you had more. Yeah. When I was a kid, it was always Bill Murray.

It was. Well, he just, he looked like my family. He talked like my family. It just felt like he also was weird looking. He had acne scars. Yeah. Do you know? There was like a certain,

but there was like a certain people on TV and movies, they have a certain look. And I was like, those people never make me laugh. The guys who make me laugh are like, my uncle, who's so funny. or that like random guy is so funny and Bill Murray was the beginning of like I would watch him and be like

that's just a fucking guy in the restaurant completely and he'd be a love interest but even as a love interest you'd be like his shirt doesn't look good no I'd be like he's balding and then he would be so charming you'd go like I think she might like him

yeah and it was like for me groundhogs there I was like, this fucking guy was incredible. But then it was that for a while. And then when I saw a bottle rocket and swingers, that era. Yeah, because you felt like you could achieve. No, because I felt like I was never a big,

I was an S&L guy as a kid. But I stopped being into that shit in like fourth, fifth grade. So I liked all that stuff. But by the time I was in like high school, I was like, I don't know what it is. I was like, my dream is not to be, I don't want to be doing, you know, I just, there was a lot of stuff. I was like, I don't want to be on that.

Yeah. I would, I want it. I need it, but that's not the dream. And then when I saw Bottle Rocket, I was like, I want to be in that. I literally want to be Dignan. Dignan. I don't want to do something similar. I want to be him.

And I want to be in a movie where I have the crew and then I get ripped off. And then at the end of him in jail. and then right after that was like when I saw Swingers and then I saw Maid I was like oh I want to be in a connection with like a John Favreau and I want to be Vince Vaughan or I'll be John Favre I don't care

I love... Then I saw Rushmore and I was like... Yeah. I was like fuck. And then those guys did the bigger ones like the old school and I'm like that's the bigger studio version but it's funny as hell. Really quick question and then we'll get out of this intro. Who are the standups you looked up to?

The first standup I loved was Louis Anderson. Interesting. I remember him doing bits about his mother, and I was just, I thought that he was the funniest person on earth. Then I started to get, once I started watching Robin Williams, but I literally remember watching, you know, going to Blockbuster and renting Louis Anderson stand-up specials. And just watching him do impressions of his mom, you know, the cat licks the butter, then the cat's

dead. And I just was like, I was just, I was just dying laughing. In heaven. I mean, he just did impressions of his parents the whole time. Because in the 80, I mean, you still have this to some extent where you've got to, you know, stand up will make fun of their appearance or whatever the fuck. That is not appealing to me. And he had to do that.

That was like the, you know, the opening he had to talk about how big he was or whatever. But the second that he started to talk about his family, you know, his dad was just. His dad just kind of this acerbic, aggressive, ultra-American man. His mom just paranoid about everything. He's got those big doughy eyes that he just fucking killed me. That's amazing. Everybody, enjoy the show. Hey, everybody, we just want to remind you if you want to watch new episodes of We're Here to Help,

it drops a day early on Hulu. So you can watch the new episode a day early. And we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes. episodes from season one and season two. So get involved. And we are brought to you by Veracity. Most protein powders don't help with cravings, but Veracity, power protein, help solve cravings once and for all. I mean, let's be honest, I'm a man who's looking to get healthier as I age. Got some cholesterol issues. That's some thickness. I got to get the body fat down, keep the muscle up. We're getting older.

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Dot CO for 65% off and make sure you use our promo code here to help so they know that we sent you. And we are brought to you by Quince. We love Quince. We're here to help. So all I do these days I wear black shirt and black pants. I started to dress like a stage manager at a theater for some of these days. It's a hilarious thing to say. But here's the thing about Quince to give a shout-up.

They sent us, Gareth, you and I don't know if they send them to you, Stevie. They should. They really sent us a bunch of shirts to or clothes, a link to like pick out some clothes. And I got four black shirts. And my stylist that was sent to me through Apple, this woman, Annie, do whenever I have to do a big press day, she comes by. And she goes, what are you wearing these days? And they always make fun of me because the clothes I wear are terrible. And I showed the Quinn shirts.

And she goes, what are you doing in Quinn shirts? And I go, this is what I wear now. She goes, this is the first time your clothes are cool. She goes, wear that. And I go, I can wear my own clothes. I know. I wear Quince now to like when I do like a press day. For my special I had my friend Jill like pick out my outfit and everything she sent me was from Quince.

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Go to Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash here-to-help for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash here to help. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Listen, go to Squarespace.com. This is where it's all happening, guys. I've been working with Squarespace for a long, long time. They just really help you kind of build up your business. Because it's an all-in-one website design place.

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I have so many websites for different things. All Squarespace. We on the show have used Squarespace repeatedly to help people out. We love them. We use them. Can't recommend it enough. Can't imagine going anywhere else. So go to Squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Hello. Hi. Hey, how are you? I'm good. How are you? Good. Can we get your first?

name, please. My name is Jenna. Jenna. Where are you calling from, Jenna? Cincinnati, Ohio. Cincinnati, Ohio. Yeah. Hi, Jenna.

That's how. Hi. Hi. You sound so excited. I'm so curious to know what you're going to say. Well, first of all, that is Jess Rona, Jenna. Yeah. Hi.

From Jess Rona grooming. She's an actress. That is where I'm from. Oh, my goodness. But she has created such a monster of a business, apart from her other talents. That is impressive. Wow. Thank you so much.

I receive with gratitude. Thank you. With gratitude and love. Yeah. So Jenna, you also got the care bear. Gareth Reynolds is here. Hello. He hasn't created a side business like Jess Rona grooming.

I'm grooming. I'm grooming. I'm going to be on social media for you, Jess. I really did. Yeah. Just made these videos where you would put like a song to a dog. Yeah, that's old school. I used to make these videos of dogs blowing in the wind in slow-mo.

And then the song would prescendo as the hair would blow and the eyes would block into camera. It was very epic. And that's kind of what got it all started. Yeah. It's awesome. Yeah. So, Jenna, anything we should know about you before we start? Got any dogs?

I don't have any dogs. I do have a cat. Oh, what's the cat play? Her name is, her name is Lizzie. She's the best. Did you name, how come you came up with the name Lizzie for a cat? What made you think of that?

Well, so when we got her, we thought she was a boy. So we called her Grizzie. And then when we found out she was a girl, I didn't care having her name Grizzie, but apparently my family cared. So they were like, let's make it Lizzie. And I was like, okay, now she's got like a human name.

But it fits her. It's great. That's so cute. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I love that. Yeah. Now this is going to be the old. Go ahead, Jess.

I was just going to say like human people names like Chris for an animal. It just cracks me up. There's really no dog name Chris. No. There's just really no dog named Chris. But I doubt, I bet this is the only Lizzie the cat. I feel the same way. How cute is that?

How cute is that? How cute is that? Dave Anthony has a dog named Larry and it's endlessly funny. That's so kid, I love that. Larry, but Larry's a funny name. Lizzie or Chris as a dog like, you know, oh, by the way,

Steve Berg has a cat named David. And he has one name, Stephen Jr. Yeah, but David killed me. David, David Berman, I think, is its name. That is so funny. How did I not know that? Yeah, that's pretty good. And Stephen Jr.

That's so cute. Yeah, it's insane. Jenna, what is the? the problem today take over so my problem that i need help with you guys today is how do i explain to my 78 year old father that my husband and i do in fact know how do have children and how the process works we just haven't yet hmm explain this problem what does it mean so he lives with my sister and he apparently over the last couple of months have been talking to my sister worried that my husband and I don't know how to make a baby, apparently.

He thinks that we don't understand how to conceive a child. And the reason we know this is because he looked my sister dead in the eyes and goes, do you think they know they need to keep it in? Oh, my God. What? Yeah. Okay. And so my sister calls me and she goes, Donna, you have a lot.

You have to have a conversation with dad. He thinks you don't understand how to have kids. And I have reassured him multiple times that you guys know what you're doing. But he thinks you just don't understand how it works. Okay. And I just... I'm going to jump in something for Jess and Gareth here. This call is not about does Jenna want kids?

And it's not about the dad's behavior about anything regarding his desire to be a grandpa. It's not about telling the dad, No, we're not having kids. And it's not even having that conversation. This is how do we explain to Jenna's dad or how does Jenna that she and her husband actually know how to have sex and make a baby if they want it? Is that correct, Jenna? That is exactly right. And yes, we do want kids.

It just hasn't happened yet. And also, but this is the stuff you need to talk to your dad about. Yeah, I'm picturing a scene. Why do you keep going? picturing a scene where we're in neutral ground. So there's no emotions. We're just mutual. You know, maybe there's like a cup of coffee.

A Chipotle. Great. Well, yeah. Okay. Yeah. A cup of coffee. Sure. Just something.

And then you can just sit, sit dad down and just say, hey, can we talk? Keep going. And just keep it really grounded. Connect, eye contact. And then just let him know. Like you understand how babies are made. Jess, let's do this really fast. Yeah.

You and me in the scene, I'll be the dad. Okay. Let's just see how that plays. Because that feels, I'm hearing it, but I'm not positive. So we're in a neutral area. And you call your dad, dad, dad? You just say, dad? Yeah, yeah, I call him back.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Here you go. Hey, this is like, okay, we've already scheduled this thing. Yeah, we're just hanging. We're just hanging. Dad, I was wondering if I could just talk to you for a little bit.

Of course. Okay. I've heard that you don't think that I know how babies are made. Well, is that true? No, I just... Well, you don't have a baby. I don't know. I don't know if you guys know what you're doing because it's not that hard to do. I know. I know. I know. But like, you really think we don't know as adults. I mean, you don't have a baby. You don't know. You don't have a baby. You know, it's not hard to do. So the only way you were thinking out is if we aren't... Right. But you know, how...

Have you ever considered that we don't want a kid and we know how to have a baby? Jess, that's not what this is about. Okay, you're right. I thought of that right when I said that. That is not what this is about. You're right. This is why I wanted to run it. I don't know if I, literally, like, I don't know if I can look my dad in the eyes and be like, I know how to have sex.

I just feel like. Okay. So Jenna, let's do this really fast. Okay. But Jenna, before we do that really fast, Gareth, you're the dad. Jenna, let's hear how you would say it. to your dad. Let's hear you do it. Okay. Hey, dad. Can I talk to you for a second?

Absolutely, Jenna. Yeah. Hey, so I know that you love kids. It's a legacy. We love them all, right? Love them all. Yeah. Yeah. And I know you're work. No, you're right. I know that you're worried maybe that why we haven't have any kids yet. Well, I want to let you know. There's got to be a reason, so. Well, I know you're, you might think that we, we don't know what we're doing,

but I promise you to add, I know how to have sex, okay? I know what I'm doing. But, well, did your sister talk to you? Yeah, yeah, she told me. The problem is not the sex. It's, the very end is really the key. to all of this stuff. You have to...

There's the last part, which maybe you don't know. I don't think I explained it right when you were kids. Well, I think mom had that conversation with us, but I... I should have been there. I was working.

Really interesting take on dad. You did a lot. You did a lot for us, Dad. All right. Also, now what the call's about, Gareth. I'm in the middle of something. Yeah. I'm also, I just, I know that you're worried that we're not keeping it in long enough,

but I promise you we are. He's finished. He's done? He's done, done. All right, Jenna, I'm going to jump in here. Jenna, I'm going to jump in here. Your instincts to kill this was right. This is not something that could happen with you and your dad.

I've enjoyed it. It's insane. I can't believe this is even happening to me that I even have to have this conversation with my father. But I wanted to run that by because it was our friend. pitch and I wanted to see. I don't think we do. A lot of people listen to the show and go, just go the straight shot.

So we tried the straight shot. I think that would be a really weird thing to do with your dad. Jenna, what are you kind of feeling right now? Are you feeling you want to walk away from the straight conversation and see if there's another way to do it? That's what I would like to do. I mean, if I have to talk through the street,

I'm sure I could if you maybe help. I just think a different way might be better. Okay. in your heart of hearts, what zone are you kind of thinking? Because we can just start pitching, but... Yeah, like, also, like, what if you made it like a joke? What if you're, like, you know, cleaning up after dinner

and you're just, like, making a joke of it, you know? Like, oh, dad doesn't think I know how to have a baby, but, you know, I don't know. That's interesting. There's not a joke, but just, like, that kind of energy. I got some ideas along that line, which is, like, you could just, set up a series of moments.

Like, have Dad over for Eclaires, and as you're making the Eclaires, you fill the Eclare, and either you or your husband go, leave it in, finish on the inside, just like making a baby, huh, Dad? Or... That's a good one. Or, Jenna, you never say the making the baby. You do it like the movies used to do it where they're comedically simulated that showing sex happens between two characters, where you have like a rocket ship takeoff,

Or you've got like a drill bit going over and over into something. Oh, that's so fun. Like the sex montage. The montage. You could also do something passive aggressive and just leave a bunch of books and literature around. Like this is how babies are made. So you don't even have to say anything.

You could just be like, oh, just doing some light reading. And like I know all the stuff that's in this book. Oh, you know, something like that. You could also do that's passive aggressive. Next time he comes over, leave a bunch of condoms in your bathroom so that he's like, Oh, they know what they're doing. They just don't want it. That's a pretty good pitch, too.

I was going to also say, have him over, have some pizza, and put on an animal documentary, just like random. Oh, let's watch this, but you've queued it up. And it's just wildlife fucking. And you very easily can just be like, oh, yeah, well, they're going to have some young soon. Or here's a crazy idea. Here's a crazy idea on that one, Jenna. Let's heighten this and make your dad. because your dad is the guy who created this problem, not you.

So put a documentary on a animal's fucking and go, Dad, what are they doing? You make him do the talk. He's talking behind your back. I'm a big believer of what you say behind someone's back. You better be able to say it to their face. So behind your back. You have to listen to her dad, explain it.

I know it, but then it's going to kill him. But behind his back, he's saying, I don't know what they're doing. So then go like, dad, what are those rhinos doing? And he'll go like, you know, and you go like this, I don't. And he'll go, or having sex. And you go, like that? And then have him go like, honey, this is a sec? And then have your husband go, I've never seen an action like that in my life, sir.

I love it. I think we got to. Go ahead, Jenna. No, I love that. I think my husband, I think my husband would totally be game because when I told him about this, he was like, oh my God. Does your dad, like, what is your dad thinking?

I love that. But, Gareth, what were you going to say? I don't want to talk past the clothes. I like that you like it. I think it's funny. Pitch, baby, pitch, baby. My last one was going to be, have him over here a phone call where your friend is pregnant and is kind of upset about it.

And you go, they know, dad, it's kind of weird, but it's like normally, I guess they don't take a lot of precaution. She's not on the pill. she thought he pulled out, but I guess he finished inside and now she's pregnant. This is so sad, yeah. So Jenna, the animal stuff is more fun. That's really, yeah, but I really like a pregnant one. Me too.

Let's not think fun. Let's think effective. And then we can make effective fun. What do you like, Jenna? I like the idea of turning on something with animals only because I don't think that I can say the words finishing and thought. Like, I just don't think I can say those words. What feels better? Well, it's too bad.

I don't know if I could say this around my mom. Could you say like to completion? Your mom's there? What about it? What do you say? No, no, no, no. She said to completion. Is that better?

No, no, no. No, no. I just feel like it is so, it's just so weird that like I just don't think I could say the, I think if we pulled something up and maybe we kind of just played dumb and see maybe how he explained it. Yeah. Maybe that would get his, maybe then it would give him the opportunity to say his peace. Or admit in that moment that he's being ridiculous behind your back and you guys might know. Oh, yeah.

Like once he said it, then be like. If he boxed, Jenna, then you could go. I thought you were telling what's your sister's name? Her name's Allison. You could go like, I thought you were saying to Allison, that you didn't know,

we know what we were doing. So what's happening here, Dad? And then you go, mind if we film it? He's like, okay, you know what? You guys are being assholes. Oh. This isn't funny. But it probably would get him to stop.

That would get him to go, no, no, no, no, no. Big Daddy. you want to stay behind her back, wait, I'm an adult woman, this is my adult husband. So will you explain what's happening to us, like the children you think we are? Or I would have your husband do it one-on-one with him. Oh, that might be kind of cool. Because then your husband goes to him, he goes on and goes like, hey, sir.

Because I'll tell you, I would feel way more comfortable with my wife's family doing something that would mind to go like, hey, sir, I've got a question for you. And he goes, what's going on, but you go, you know, we're, you know, we're, you know, interested in kids. And he goes, I've been dying to hear that. He goes, you got any idea how to do it? He goes, what do you mean? You go, how the fuck do you get these things?

I've been looking all over for him. How do you make him? And he'll go, what? And he goes, I'm actually being serious, sir. How do you make a baby? So that he has to explain to your husband. He would really have to commit to that. And he'd have to be a decent actor.

It's the third party issue. We've got Jenna. You're right. Okay, you're right. All right. My gut is animal. If you show animals fucking, I mean, this is what I was thinking real quick, Jake. Yeah. We could have, if we wanted, we could have Kyle just edit together a bunch of animals fucking.

And it could just be kind of like, what is this? And just throw it on. And then it's kind of random. But then you know. That would be really nice. That would be up service to Jenna. If we wanted, I could do a fake. I could do a fake Attenborough over.

and keep saying, and he's finished inside. And this is how babies are made. And that's while they'll have a young rhino. He's finished inside. You could also, like, do a combo. You got your literature, you got your pregnant friend, you got sex on screen with animals. He could just get, like, he could be like, okay, like that way you don't even have to speak. Then you go to the bathroom, there's condoms stuck to the mirror.

He's like, Jesus Christ. So, Jenna, that's fine. He sits down on the couch and there's just condoms everywhere. Oh, sorry, dad. I don't hate that. I don't need that. That's kind of the Piazza version of it all. That's a good.

So, Jenna, I re. Go ahead. No, go to you now. Because we've given you some pretty good pitches and I think we've got a winner in this mix. But what are you going to do here? I really think that if I have my dad over, maybe just with my husband and maybe my mom because I don't really know if she even knows what's going on with him. But have him come over, we finish eating.

We come in the living room and I turn the TV on. And it just happens. I love the idea of the commentary with Garris because then I think it can really get the point across of, you know, that. And then just saying like, hey, dad, what is this? What do you? What is this? Jess, would you be willing to be in the commentary to? Yeah.

Let's do a Jess and Gareth commentary on it where there are two narrators of this. I think that's great. So I think I can have it on and I can say, what is this? And hopefully he's going to say, well, what do you mean? What is this? I mean, and then I'm assuming he'll probably, I'll say, well, I don't even know what they're doing. And maybe then we go, or what's the best way for me to verbiage, do you think, after. You know what we could do, Jenna?

what they're doing. You know what we could do, Jenna? At the end of it, Gareth and Jess could say very clearly, we could do this as a prank to your dad, go, what's happening is they're making babies because obviously, and say your dad's name, obviously, Craig, Jenna knows how to make babies

and you shouldn't talk. Yeah. Oh, just like really to stay it. And just because you can also put text on screen. Finishing outside. She's like a very big message. Planet Earth. It's finishing inside.

Yeah. So that at the end, it finishes, and he's allowed to laugh too. But it's going like, your behavior's crazy, man. And this isn't a talk. This is just getting crazy, dude. I think I would actually think that would be really funny. I like that. I don't know if I should also do the commentary, though.

I like that view because I think my dad would be like, oh, yeah, no, okay, I was out of line. Like maybe it'll put it into perspective to him that like, come on. Like get it together. What video do you want from us? What would be the most helpful for you? I kind of really like the idea of at the end, like, his name is Rick being like, Rick. She knows what she's doing. Oh, how about this?

How about this, Jenna? What if it goes on and then your voice comes into the thing? Oh, I love that. Hey, dad. Guess what? Hey, Dad. And then he's hearing, so he's just watching where he's like, what is this? And it's short.

It's like 30 seconds where the whole family is like, ew, why are we watching these animals having sex? And then it's like, you know, whatever you want to say, Gareth of setting up with like sex in the animal kingdom. It's similar to humans. It's the way the world works. And then all of a sudden it stops at like the climax. We'll have Kyle do like rockets going off, all the things that simulate the end. A sponge squeezing. A sponge.

We've seen. Firework. Firework. All the stuff. Oil drilling. That's how it works. That's how it works. A couple randoms.

Everyone knows, Rick. You just have to finish inside. But then, no, not you. Then she jumps in. Uh-huh. Hey, dad. Hey, dad. Yeah.

Hey, dad, guess what? Hey, Rick. It's me, Jenna. You can also have Rob. What if we have Jenna and Rob? Yes. And just being like, hey, dad. It's us.

Guess what? We know how babies are made. Thank you for watching. Yes. And we're on our own schedule. We know what we're doing. We don't need you talking anymore about it. This is really embarrassing stuff.

And we hope you're as embarrassed as we've been. And then it's like the last shot is an animal having sex again. Where you're just like, ew. And then it goes off. I think that that would be. I love the idea. of having, hopefully Rob would be game to do it. I think he would be game for having the voice at the end.

And we could say, listen, dad, clearly we know what we're doing. Yes. Stop talking about us behind our backs. I love this. We will do it. You know what I'm also picturing. I love this. Yes.

I'm also picturing the montage being like, I know you said 30 seconds, but like, you know, giraff's fucking. Cheetah's fucking. Just like boom, boom, all these different animals like crazy. And then over that like a calm. voiceover, hey dad, it's just like the crazy, I think that would be really fun. Just, you know, and I love the idea of like the finish, like the rocket and stuff. That could be a fun ending, a big crescendo.

A hundred percent. You can get like a little orchestral music in the background. Yes. Yeah. And even put yourself on camera. Put yourselves on camera. It could be really low, low buds, just like get yourself on camera. Film yourself.

You're just talking about talking about talking on the iPhone where they're on the camera. Oh my God. What if it's you two guys in bed? Yeah, I was just going to say. Oh, love that. With like, yeah, you're just, you're in bed. You're holding the phone up like this and you guys are laying on your back with your

shirts off and you're, it's above the shoulders. So it's like you just had sex and go like, hey, dad, we know what we're doing. We just don't have kids yet. Stop talking about us behind our backs. Oh, that's so direct and also funny because we wanted dad to laugh a little. Yes. So that's super funny. Sure.

Sure. Oh, yeah. He would definitely be like, all right, yeah, no. Okay, yeah, okay, yeah. He would probably be like back settling like crazy. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I love how your dad character evolves.

Just to my dad. Yeah, he'd be like, your sister is making this up. And I'd be like, no, he's not. No, no, she's not. You know what we could do as a button. There's a beat. And then you pause it. And then if your dad says that, then you get video of your

sister going, I'm not making this up. Dad really asked. And then it's the direct quote. Oh, that's, I don't know that. Because then he's, and it's also a nice lesson. Stop talking behind each other's back. Shut up. Yeah. So tell us now what you're going to do. I am going to have them over. And we're going to have a nice time. Act like nothing's going on. No big deal. We'll come in the living room. And I'm going to turn on the TV and just say, oh, let's watch this and whatever turned it on and it will be the montage and there will be some kind of all of these different animals living their best fucking life and doing everything and then hopefully some good overlay with some garris remarks do you have an apple tv jana

do you know an apple tv because you can you can just um stream it straight from your computer. So you can make it on your, yeah, and you can get it on the Apple TV. Well, we're going to have a guy make it. Yeah.

Yeah. And then I agree with one point with Kyle. Yeah. Okay. Perfect. So then. I'm down to do voiceover if you need. I just feel like it's more authentic

to just have the one guy's voice. Well, do we even need the voiceover? I mean, do we just want to have that fucking and then at the end, you just kind of say what it is. Like we just do the fuck montage, fireworks, oil pump.

Then you film your thing. And then you just cut it in the end. The oil pump? Yeah. Like drilling for oil. Yeah, yeah. Like oil splooge. And then you just go, hey, dad, it's us.

We're also animals and we know how it works. We're on our own timeline. Love you. And Jenna, you could film that. Gareth is going to hook you up with Kyle, who's going to do the editing of this. And so if you filmed that, he'll just put that in the clip. Yeah.

So we'll give you a fuck montage of 45 to a minute. And then we'll just end it with you and Rob in bed explaining to your dad, hey, we get it. So all we need from you, Jenna, is that 20 second clip to email in. And then the next thing you're going to get is the video. Yeah. And then we need you to solve this whole problem. Yeah. And we need you to film the whole thing.

Oh, absolutely. The reaction after. Yes. Set the phone up near the TV for when this happens, obviously. Obviously. I can, I can get like a, I could set my. phone up in the corner on my dad. And then I can have like my husband's

phone on the TV. And we can get like a full. I can only imagine like this is, I hope now he learns. So this is fantastic. Next up Jenna, film you and Rob in bed. Send that to the show. They'll get

it to me. I'll work with our guy, Kyle. And we'll get that back to you. Then you can set up the sting. Huge win. And we'll go. So just to be clear before we go. Yeah, Jenna, are you excited about this? I am so excited about this. And my parents live so close.

Like, we could do this very quickly. Like, it could happen very quickly where we, as long as, you know, I give this stuff to him, we'll get it back. I mean, we could do this quickly. And hopefully he can just fill the F out, not ask about my time line. You want to talk to Kyle today? Sure. Send that video in and then we'll get the rest done. I am so excited that you guys have helped me with this.

This is going to be great. It was an honor helping you. I can't wait for the rest of your life. I am so thankful. I feel like this is probably not the craziest thing that you guys have heard. It's pretty great. I mean, Solves great. All right, Jenna, send that in.

Send it back to us. We'll be in touch with you. And thank you so much for the call. Thank you, Jenna. Hi, Jenna. Thank you guys so much. Bye. You too.

Thank you. Bye. Bye. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. It's right, Jake. It's Wayday at Wayfair. So from April 25th through the 27th, you could score the best deals in home. You can get 80% off with free shipping of everything. Wayfair makes it easy to find exactly what you need in your house.

If you want decor improvements, I, yeah, I really, when I went on Wayfar, I was like, oh, my goodness, it's everything. It's overwhelming. me. I'll tell you what I bought on Wayfair was a robot vacuum. Yeah, what's, how is that going? It's going good. I had had one before. Okay. I got the early version of it so I keep buying them I give it a name and then there's a little remote I control so I can go at my dogs a little bit and I can go

at my wife's feet and then I can pretend that the robot likes me more than her. It's interesting. This took a really, you said you named it? Yeah. Do we get to no. We all want to know the robot's name. I got a little like a thing for the end of the bed where I put all the bedding like a grown man should.

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Hi, Haley. Hi. That is the great Jess Rona from Jess Rona grooming. That's me. Hi. Oh, from Jess Rona grooming. Hi. Do you know?

Do you know who that is? Do you know? I are. It's okay. Can you tell me? Are you? Yeah. Well, I have a thought, but I don't want to embarrass it.

I don't want to embarrass myself. What's your thought? What's your thought? Are you married to Eric Echleston? Eric Edelstein. I am. I'm Eric. Oh, my gosh.

I've definitely looked you up on the internet before. I'm so glad. Yeah. I've been just like, you know, Lucille Ball, like, waiting behind the curtain, ready to pop onto this fucking podcast. Is it my turn yet? Hello? My question really involves grooming in some way, so you're really the perfect.

Oh, let's party. All right, Haley, where are you calling from? I'm calling from San Francisco. San Fran, cool. And how old are you, Haley? 36. You got any dogs? No dogs.

I would say I lean a little bit more cat. But I appreciate your work, yes. I don't have any pets right now. That's cool. And what are you doing, San Fran? who keeps you busy? I work in education, so I've had lots of different jobs from teaching, leading in schools, a whole range. What do you think of all the hot take stuff?

I love the hot take stuff. I think it's great. I think that when you're getting kids excited to be sharing their opinions, I'm just excited to come to class every day, that translates to so much else. I totally agree. And have you seen the new website that was made? I have not. Is there hot take? www.

www. hot take Tuesday.com. Gareth, I don't know if you know about this. I don't think I've seen it. But we've been emailed back and forth and they've made an official hot take Tuesday curriculum made a website for to send to teachers and educators to try to spread this around schools.

I've never heard of it. I'll send it around. It's fun stuff. Oh, it's a beautiful website. It's super cute. Okay, sorry, distracted. No, but it's really nice. So Haley, take over.

What do we got today? Okay. I am calling in because I started dating someone about a month and a half ago. Uh-oh. And it seems like a great guy. He's really supportive and he seems really great. We're obviously still getting to know each other. And our first date was on the phone, which, you know, circa 2020.

And we had a great conversation, so much overlap, interesting same things. And then first date in person, we went out to dinner, instant chemistry, feeling the good vibes. And he was wearing like jeans and a sweatshirt. I was like, okay, I didn't really, you know, nothing stood out about his outfit. Date number three. And he showed up wearing one of those flat caps, like a newsies cat from the musical. And it was, it's really bad. It's so ugly.

I think that's an Eric cap. Yeah, wait. Eric has one of those. Oh, he does. He does. Are those bad? Like a flat cap? I don't think it's bad, but third date is sort of like, what is this, a child?

If you now say he was wearing a trench coat that he got it in a state sale, I'm now worried. Yeah, Eric has that. I would say I hold my ears and then we're not into it. Yeah, I can see both sides, but I get that. You like it on air. I'm not trying to yuck your yuck. I like it. Yeah.

No, it's okay. But this is a Haley call. Sure. Yeah, of course. So you're horrified by this. I'm not into the hat. And yeah, he wore on the third date. He worked again this week.

And I'm, you know, I'm going to start introducing him to people my life. And I'm really worried he's going to wear this hat. So you're really ugly. I mean, there's a wider problem. This is a perfect problem for our show. take is this is really bad but it's a bad hat take and the first time i went to his plate he has a whole wall of how oh no of this kind of hat it's really bad of this style of hat there were many of this style so i'd say five or six which is that's five or six too many

he's a hat guy you hate hat guys it's this type of hat I just think if you're going to wear a hat it's especially this type of hat. Like this or a fedora no go. But I also generally... Why don't you like... Haley, why don't you like that hat? I just think they're really unattractive. I got to say, I'm kind of with Haley on this.

Really? What about like a British guy like with a scarf and like he's like getting his teeth? Maybe, maybe, but it does look like he doesn't sound like that guy. No. Yeah. Like he's coming back from like older. Wow. A fox hunt.

but like I'm a big Fedoras on men under a certain age I'm with you here the newsy cap on because I've seen Eric in it so much but anybody besides Eric

I'm not a fan of that's how I feel Eric yes everyone else know okay but so Haley he's got what do we call on this guy Eric

let's call he's got the cane let's let's call him um Ryan. Ryan.

So Ryan, do you like everything else about Ryan? Well, I think his wardrobe in general is not ideal. That's a larger question beyond the hats. Yeah. But I'm really embarrassed. So far so good on everything else.

And what would you describe his wardrobe? Besides the hats. What is the wardrobe? What is this guy looking like? Okay. So that date that he wore the hat, he wore a camo polo shirt and kind of quasi dress pants. We were going swing dancing. So maybe that's why.

But other people wear their normal clothes when they go out dancing. He wore a color shirt. Yeah, it was bad. It was really bad. It was not good. I didn't even know they made polo shirts in canon. Yeah. He wore another polo shirt the other night.

And he's not preppy. He's a, he's an artist. He's not, you know, like a clean button up. In a different era, you know, like they're kind of trapped in that other era. Is he one of those guys? I don't know. I haven't broached the conversation about his wardrobe yet. It feels a little too soon.

Okay. Okay. I have to tell you guys something. Yeah. I don't. Okay, this is my experience. I don't love all the things that Eric wears. but

and I never and it's not forever I can't handle this my heart it's too real my heart's gonna break hold on

no no no I love him so much that I don't care you know and I see and I want him to feel good and be happy yes you know but you don't worry

I'm not going too deep Jess you don't like when he wears garbage from an estate sale I actually love that it's just you know you don't like when he wears a jacket with dirty clean

from another man. What he uses Peter Fox handkerchief? That's not a thing turned on where he goes, dude, he used this all sick. Could you say that every single person loves everything their partner wears? There's got to be a time when you don't like what your partner wears is where you're like, oh, I don't love that, but I'm not going to say anything. I agree. But here's what's different about this one. This is a new relationship.

Yeah. So when she's like mortified. Well, it's also. Yeah. I'm guessing, Haley, it's more of do I try to fix this or do I move on? So what is the, because now we have a pretty good sense of what's going on lightly between you and Ryan. What is the specific question we could help you with? How do I steer him away from wearing these hats ever again?

That's such a hard question. I was hoping it wasn't that because that is such a complicated one. He's got a wall of hats. Yeah. He loves these hats. Okay. Are there hats you do like? Let's start with that.

Do you like certain types of hats? Okay. Yeah, when we're out hiking, wearing a baseball hat, that's fine. Like a more felt, felt hat. But specifically, the flat-brimmed hats are. Haley, I got a crazy pitch. Okay.

You go, you go, you go. I want to hear what you're going to say. Well, I just want to acknowledge what you're saying, Jess, and I have thought about it a lot. and I don't think trying to change your partner is a great strategy and wanting them to feel and good and how they feel is very important. So I hear you and ultimately I aspire to be as enlightened as you. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Yeah, thanks. I feel seen. But you can also distract. You can continue buying him hats you like so that he will wear it to make you. to make you happy. What if he did that? And you're like, overly complimentary

when he wears a hat that you like and then don't say anything when he wears a shitty hat. Yeah. Is there a really quick to you, Jess, is there an outfit that Eric wears that you hate so much that you have done a strategy to get,

because we know, and I'm a guy who's got bad style. But sometimes Eric will, yeah, oh yeah. Okay. But sometimes Eric will, I'm just wearing black tie. I look like a stage manager at a theater these days, because I've just given up.

Okay. But Eric, everyone's one will show up to a lunch, and I'll just go, wow. Yeah, yeah. Wow. And then he'll go, what? As if I'm the crazy one, and I'll go, I'm not even getting into. He'll go, you got something to say. And my real thought is just, wow.

Sure. Is there anything that you're like, that's too much for me. It doesn't change my love for the man, but I have to get him away for that article of clothing. I don't have the bandwidth or energy to do that. And I don't care. Perfect match. And I never have. Yeah, good.

Do you, baby? You want to wear the thing? Yes. Babe. You want to go out? You love it. You do you. Eric's a walking estate sale sometimes.

I took him to that manix estate sale, by the way. That was me taking him. And I got a pair of pumps and a purse and a cardigan. Where there was any garbizabeth? in any of those things and you kept it. Unfortunately, no. Did he keep it? He did keep it.

He did it. He did it was the garbage. The guy was the garbage. Yes, he did. He was excited about it. From when he was sick, he goes, he goes, brother, he was sick and use this. And I'm like, Eric, stop it. That's not a flex.

It's not a flex. But Haley. So I've got a crazy pitch for you. I got a couple. Okay. And I'll tell you what I think would work. I'm putting myself in the shoes of. Ryan, and he's like, you know, I got this new gal.

Let's work. And I'm a cool artist. I got a cool style. The ladies seem to like it. But he's kind of the star with his clothes. What if you got matching hats and wore them too? Because there's nothing dorkier than a couple in matching newsy caps. He thinks he looks cool in it, but he would not think both of you looked cool in it.

So you become the hat person so that he doesn't wear a hat. then you lose your hat and then you do the jazz thing. You compliment him so much without the hat. Okay. I like the idea of getting a hat and joining the bit. He, I think partly he wears a hat because he is not as blessed with Garris, you know,

permable, luscious hair. She just said Garris. She just said, anyone else. Okay. Did I say Garris? Trying to point out permable.

It's horrible. Well, you have Yeah. Anyway, so I think that part of it is he wears a hat to cover that up. Okay. And I think the hair could also use some assistance. Like it needs to just be, he needs to accept that he's balding and just cut it back as opposed to kind of, you know,

wafting it up in the front to cover up the situation. No. Does he comb it from the back to the front to create fake bangs? No, no, no. We're not back. like that doing that in China though. We've had that caller. Yeah. Not that guy. We got an English guy in China doing that exact look. Like we're an employment agency.

We literally got a guy who does back the front and little bangs. We got to be. We got a line me in China is doing that for us. We've dealt with that call. You got to share them. Take them out on the teams. Gareth, what are some pictures here? I think, look, like you said, hats are not the problem. I like Jake's attack the hat style. I almost think what if you just,

and this requires some from you, Haley, but what if you just start dressing like a flappers girl? You start wearing some really weird clothes, almost like you're going out to like do the Charleston or something like that, make him feel a little uncomfortable. And then you could sort of say, do you like my outfit, something like that?

If he's not into it, you could say, I have some issues with your wardrobe. but I don't love those hats. Oh, man. My other pitches, take them off the wall. Take them. Take them. Wait, that's what I was going to say.

I was going to say something just like that. Yes. What were you going to say, Jess? What if you got some cute organizers from the container store, those like little canvas boxes and like act as though it's like a thing that you're doing to like help him organize. Take it off the wall out of view. He doesn't even know what he's got.

Out of sight out of mind. Out of sight out of mind. maybe even replace with hats you like. And then anytime he goes to grab a hat when you're going out for dinner or whatever, just grab his hand and be like, let's go. You look so cute. And just like, distract. It's like, you know, having a toddler.

You just distract. It's like, you want the cookie, want the cookie. Let me get, you know, like, I'm going to distract you with this toy or whatever. Haley, I got to get real with this one now. Okay. I don't think it's a match. I think you, I think you break up. Yeah.

I think that's over the hat let me pitch a couple more before you go break on the hat but it's like you don't like his hat you don't like his style we're talking about changing so he's not an unhappy gentleman he's like I got not how do I like hats I got a wall of hats so I was talking to a guy friend and I was saying I don't like what he wears that doesn't feel too materialistic to cut someone out for that reason and my friend said well I would love if someone told me how to dress So you just don't know. I don't know if he's attached to what he wears or if he just wears it because that's what he wears. He doesn't know what he's doing. None of us do. Honestly, something like you could be a force for good chance. This is what I would say. Buy him two hats.

You find two hats you like. Buy him two hats. You give him two hats. You go, I know you like hats. Here's the two hats. Anytime he's wearing one of those caps, you just start to say, what about one of my hats? Do you not like my hats? Personalize it a little bit.

Make it so that your emotions are a little tied to these two hats. And that might eventually, as you get more comfortable, unearth this thing of like, do you not like my newsy caps? And you'll go, honestly. Do it cute. Do it cute. Like, instead of like combated, just be like kissing and like, oh, you like it. Like, just like be cute about it, you know.

What do you, is he like a Giants fan in Sanfran? Does he like the 49ers? We could go a really easy route. Oh, that's good. Yeah, maybe a Giants hat. I don't think he's a big fourth person, but he just went to a game with his family. But if you can get him like a vintage cool giant's hat,

where he's like, oh, this is cool. I'm an artist. This is, oh, this was from like the 80s? You're like, yeah. Then he's like, that's cool, actually. And then go, oh, my God, you look so hot at it. And then when he puts another hat on and go like this, oh, my God, you look so much better in a baseball hat.

It's like your face fits it. I think that's the right kind of language. And then do just that for. for a while, then get him a shirt and go like, I got to tell you, you got a nice body, you shouldn't hide it in camo. Oh, this is so good. And then he's like, you like a fresh white tea, you know?

A fresh white tea, you go, I got to tell you, you and a baseball hat and a white t-shirt, whoa. And then that night do what comes natural. Do you know what Jake's talking about? Here's the thing. Nobody wants to eat TV ditt, right? He's eating like shit because he doesn't know that there's a better meal out there. If you present a better

option and you say you like it, I am very confident he'll start going in that direction. And I think Jake's right. Like aim it like that. You're going to win with like honey. You get him three white t-shirts and a cool vintage hat. He'll go, I'll just

put this hat on. And then he'll be always, and then go ahead. I was just going to ask you guys, Jake and Gareth, what if Ryan confronts her? And he's like do you not like my hats? I feel like we should at least, like, give her some tips.

Or you're trying to change me. Yeah, like if you start something, then you might be in the Jake zone where, look, if he's, this is honestly, my reaction would be this. I would, you know, if he says, would you not like these hats, I'd say, can I be totally honest? I just don't think they're a good look for you.

I think you look better in this sort of stuff. I just think you look really cute like that. And my friends think you look cute. I think it's just a better look. I would say, go to the, you look, you look good in this versus I don't like this. Yeah, I like that. But, Gareth, you know me on this. So you know if somebody gives a compliment or a comment happens and you start changing for it, I think it's a big mistake.

So I'm a believer. If I were Ryan, this would be a breakup for me. If somebody said, hey, wear this. And I went like, yeah, thank you. And they go, you look so much better. You don't look so great in the other stuff. And I go, well, 36, I've been wearing it for a while. And they go, yeah, I know, but I like you with this.

Then in my heart of hearts, I'm going to go, maybe I should find somebody who likes, I'm an Eric guy in that, then maybe I should find somebody who likes me for what I like to wear, because I'll tell you, Haley, I don't give a fuck what you wear, be happy. And if all of a sudden I now have to change based off your compliments, where's my center? Because all of a sudden you might then have me wearing a fucking hula hoop on my head, and I'm going, well, everybody likes it. Yeah, and you're chasing a compliment. I think you can at least motivate the conversation this way.

And if he gives you that, then you can make that decision, you know. But I mean, you very easily then can just back off and just go, look, if you love it, you love it. Go for it. I just don't want to be with you. I am not turned down by you when you're wearing polo camouflage. And he goes, get out of my bed. There's a line of ladies. Is there?

No, you have to. There's a wall of hats. There's a wall of hats. A wall of ladies. A line of ladies. You notice when you said you guys should break up, how she was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. You want to make this work.

So that's really good. You want to make this work. And you know it is a little materialistic, a little bit. Right. And that just feels I'm not that materialistic that I would end a whole relationship over what someone's wearing in the first month of getting rid of them. But you're only a month in.

It's like this. If you go to a restaurant and you go like, really, Cool location. Great. Ooh, Vietnamese is my favorite. I like it. And then you go, menus weird.

Well, don't go, how do I change the menu? There's another Vietnamese place three blocks away. Or how do I change myself? And how do I look inward? And learn to like a menu that I don't like?

Yeah. That sounds like lunch at Vietnamese restaurants, Jess. Lunch with Eric. Or you could just just rub hot sauce, kid. Or you could just rub hot sauce

on the inside of these hats you don't like and he'll develop a little bit of a rash and you say, I think it's something to do with that material, stop wearing them. By the way, a little bit. That's great. By the way, put a little bit in that, you know what you could do?

You could say there was a, you're an education, right? So you could say there was a lice breakout and you're, try on all his hats one day and do a funny thing and be like, look at me in this hat, look at me in this hat, and then be like, oh my God, look at me. And then go, the next day go,

Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed to tell you. I have lice. You got to get rid of all those hats. You got to shave your head. Oh, my God, you look so good like that. You know, what's interesting is that the school I work at is doing a production of Newsies. So what I could borrow his hat for the production and then you know him. Or they all got lies.

They all have lice. Or the kids haven't given him back. Or I'll pitch to all this is you've just been in Newsies world. and you can't shake the fact that he looks like a little newsy boy. It's so unsexy. Distracting. Yes. I mean,

there is something to the idea. All the students are wearing newsy hats and now my partner's wearing a newsy hat. It's kind of a weird. But Haley, I also love, can I use any of these hats for the kids? Now once I've seen little boys and girls wearing them,

you like, look, I liked it before. Can I, can, because I room this for you, Ryan, can I just buy you three baseball hats? Oh,

because I was so shit. It's not associating it with kids. Can we go hot shopping? I'll pay. Oh, hat. Yes. But I ruin this for you, and it was my fault. And then you're the hero.

But once I associate anything with kids, it is just not sexy to me. I just see you as a nine-year-old boy singing on a little box. Buy a newspaper for five cents. Yes. So can we please? I want to take you hat shopping. I want to pay for it. but you can obviously keep the hat,

but is there any way you can not wear them around me? Is that so rude? And he'll go like this. No, I don't care. Haley, I think that seems to have tickled all of our fancies. If you say, let me borrow the hats for the production at the school, you take them there. When you're bringing them back, you say, honestly,

it's kind of the charm's been worn off. Children were wearing these. My bad, I fucked up. Let me take your hat shopping as a Mayaculpah, and then you're kind of the new administration without him knowing all the details, right? Or you can also just not give them back and just say, oh, I forgot. I got to go get them and just like kind of like act like you just forgot. Or maybe they were lost, accidentally donated something.

And then you can also, like if you don't want to like be so confrontational. Yep. Okay. What do you think, Haley? This is pretty good. I think it's great. Okay. Yeah, I think it's great.

I think it'll work. Are you signing off on the last. iteration of the plan? What are you going with? Borrowing the hats for the kids. Hopefully he lends them. I don't know if they have sentimental value. But by the way, if he says no, that's okay, Haley,

because it's still the same thing. Yep. Exactly. Still the same style. Still surrounded by it. Yeah. It's a sex. It doesn't matter because I can then go with,

oh, these hats are just a total turnoff because I've been swimming in these newsy hats and 12-year-olds are working. You look like a little boy to be. me. I'll tell you what he doesn't want as a balding 36-year-old man in a cool newsy hat. You look like a little boy in a musical.

That's a nightmare to hear as a man. To a woman you're trying to impress, you look like a little boy in a musical. A musical. You look like a little boy in a musical. You look like a little boy in a musical and it's cute. And you go like this, no, I'm sexy and cool. And I wear a newsy hat and you go, you literally look like a little boy name. You look like a little boy named like Jonah

Lewis. About below the fold. It's below to fold. Humiliated. Yeah. All right. What do you think, Haley? Yeah.

This is great. Can you do us a favor? Can you take a photo of the wall of hats? We need to see those. And then could you take a photo or a video of the play? so we can see at least like 10 seconds of the newsy play, we can block off the kids' faces. Maybe a photo, so we don't have to figure out how to do that with video,

because we will put a little black line over the kids' faces, but to see the hats of it, and then if you can do that. Is that possible or no? I don't know if I can take photos of the, I think I could definitely take photos of maybe their costumes. Okay, that works. up and ready to go as opposed to anything involving children. Actually, if someone took a photo of my kids for a podcast, that would be fighting words.

You're right. But the costumes, I think that's a great idea. Yep. But Haley, I think... For an extra, I'm just saying for an extra bonus, it would be really cool to see what a cameo polo looks like. I don't know if you guys want to see that. I just can't picture it. Eric has a camo cargo shorts.

Eric, he does? Yeah. This is how much I know about my husband's wardrobe. Yeah. And he wears them with tie-dye shirts a lot. Yeah. And the newsy hats. Yep.

And some slides, Birkenstom. Yeah, dude. That's my man. That's my guy. Hey, Jess, we got that in common. That's my man, too. I love baby. That's the guy right there.

That's the guy. So, Haley, what do you think? I think this is great. And if it doesn't work, I'll just, you know, become enlightened like Jess and I'll let go of it and accept someone. I love your view of me. Hot sauce. Yeah. I would say, honestly, if it doesn't work, call back.

We'll have Jess back on again. Let's end at Enlightened. Because the truth is, you might all, you're a month deep. You might also go like, Ryan did another thing that sucks. Yeah, that's probably going to happen to be honest. You know, you go fishing every once in a while, you know, you pull some fish in there. Every once in a while, you got throw one back. Yeah.

Not every fish belongs on the wall. Yes, and the play is not for another two months. So it's a bit of a long game. But I could start talking about the play and talk about the costumes. You know how to set it up. Like, oh, that reminds me of the costume that the kids are wearing. Haley, this is it. We might not even have to use the hats.

Every time he wears it, you just go, oh, my God, it's so, you laugh. And he goes, what's so funny? And you go like this, I'm just, we're doing. newsies at the play. I'm dating a newsie. And I feel like I'm now on a date with one of the 12-year-old boys. It's the evening edition, missies. That alone, he'll go like, oh, this isn't a newsy hat.

It's more like a cab driver from the 40s hat. And you go, yeah, I mean, literally, I was looking at those exact hats for costume. And he'll go, if you start wearing gloves with the cutoff fingers, I got to go. If you sell me a paper, I'm out of here. Yeah. And so he just starts knowing these cool hats are associated. with the newsies. Give him a quarter and ask him to bite it.

Yeah. Is that a thing from the newsies? I think so. They're like, oh, that's real. I see if the silver's real. Yeah. Oh, that's real, isn't it? Yeah, because cheap silver will bend.

Yeah, it's wrong. You can even nickname him. Nicknamed him. Oh, I know. I do it every time I get a nickel. No, I try. Every time I get changed, and they go 37 and I go, I got you.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I've tried biting an ATM car. Jake's Dentis is like the right side. All silver-biting fillings. But Haley, I think this works. Are you genuinely happy with the solution,

and are you going to try it? I'm genuinely happy with the solution. I am going to try it. And so what are you specifically, and then we're going to get out of here, but tell us what you're going to do because the plays in two months, you've only been dating for a month.

You've got things coming up, art shows with friends that you are a little embarrassed about. I do. Coming up this. weekend. So how do we start this right away? I think we start it right away where when I'm at his place this weekend looking at his hat wall. I pick one off the wall and I say, hey, this is so funny. We're doing this production. This reminds me of what the students are wearing. And so I just

start planting the seed that this is to me costuming and not something that. Don't be afraid to laugh a little too. Okay. Like, oh my God. It's so funny. I feel bad doing that. But I'll do a judgment. You find it.

You find it. But you're right. Start throwing some seeds out there. It's the right way. Long game. Great. Thanks so much. All right, Haley.

Thank you. Yeah. Great. Thanks, Haley. Thank you. Hi. Goodla. We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds.

If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at Helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, do stand up on the road, go to garethrenolds.com.

Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown.

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That was us now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive. Yeah. From our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode.

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