We're Here to Help - 290: I Have a Dream & Jake, Gareth and Renaud

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

The guys trick a left lane camper with a scene from It's a Wonderful Life. Then, they repay a Swiss guitar shop owner. Plus, a follow-up from Ep 280 "Carjacking." See images from the episode here: https://www.heretohelppod.com/post/episode-290  Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. And we are back. It's been a minute. The vasectomy. Let's get into it. Gareth, it has now been a week. A week to the day, yeah.

Walk us through what it's like. We are in Vesecta, in Vesecta May. We are Vesecta. I've gotten a couple messages from other Vesecta May members. I'm going to tell you, there haven't been a lot of emails. There were so many in March. This is what happens. You get to the table, you buckle.

I also wonder if we waited too long. March people were going crazy. There was a lot of, I'll snip too. I'm in. I'm in. There have been some snippers, but yeah, maybe not. Well, listen, there's still time. Guys, you got time.

If you're going to do it, hurry. Do the snip. Go to anyone. It took me a while because I had to find a guy to film it. You can get one done quick. You can get them like you can go to Claire's boat, too, can get an ear in. Yeah, it's a jiffy loop. Get in there.

Walk everybody through what the first week of getting snipped feels like in your genitals. And your mentals. Where are your mentals at? It's weird. I think I told you this. Well, first of all, there's the, there's no masturbating for that first week. And then you're, then you have to start to start to kind of clear the pipes. So.

Masturbated in a week. Yeah. When's your first time? I think so crazy to say it like Annie, but I think tomorrow. I think tomorrow. Tomorrow. Let me ask you a question. I want the honesty.

I want you to answer it too. You hear me. Moving on. I fucking do it. Well played, sir. The weirdest part... Bobby Fisher over here. The weirdest part...

You hit the clock. I was like, but right back on you. The weirdest part is that they are tender, and I had to wear a jock strap for a whole week with, like, gauze in it, just to pad it, just to keep it. A week of the jock strap. Yeah. I wonder if we...

scared people away. It's not that bad. The week is weird. Is it? But yeah, it is. But now that I'm at the week, I'm like, this is fine now. Is the jockstrap gone? Yes.

Yes. Is there tenderness? A little bit. A little bit. But not a lot. The second day, my cat. It doesn't look like it. Yeah, but it's such weird skin.

I was just going to say, the scrotum. It's perfect skin for a surrogate. I mean, this, yeah, like, the scrotum is Freddie Kruger. You know what I mean? It's like trying to find, like, where did he get cut? It's like, he's Freddie Kruger. He's made of elbow skin. I don't like to think of my balls as Freddy Krueger face.

I felt you're withdrawing and I thought I'd maybe get you back if I said it three times. Yeah, you kept saying it three times. I thought maybe it slowly. For me, you said Freddie Krueger and I imagine that scary face. And I don't want my partner where I go like, oh, what a wonderful thing. going near my Freddie Kruger balls. What you're going to, you think she doesn't know what these are,

you know, this is a strange zone? It's a strange zone, but you think your balls is like a Freddie Kruger type character down there? I think the balls, this is horrible. I think the ball skin is unlike any other skin on our bodies. I mean, but you come out with a, the balls are age 50 when you come out.

They're already weird. Yeah. You're not closer to me. Well, we weirdest part of growing up is going to the YMCA for the first time with a shared locker room. And I know a lot of people have covered. This isn't new territory. Yeah, but it is fertile. But seeing old man balls for the first time, man, man, that's wild stuff.

I will never forget, A, the first time that I saw, like I was on a, like a canoeing trip, and I saw one of the counselors get naked. And I, like, it was the first time where I was like, what the f is, that was weird. Yeah. The YMCA, I mean, it's not only because of how the old men's bodies look. Yeah. But it's that they're powdering. I know.

They're like doing sit-ups naked on carpet. I know. A lot of them also look like if E.T. were 510. But imagine E.T. But with those little legs in the arms. But imagine he's 510, 511. And walking by you and you have shorts a shirt on and you're like tying your sneakers because you're going to play basketball. And E.T. walks in front of you in full conversation with somebody else going like,

somebody two aisles over going, well, that's not what happened. It was last when. And you just go. Whoa. And then when he walks by, you look away. then you look back and you see that, like, area where a man's butt should be. But it just, as they get older, it's like a vacuum pulls the butt in. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. It's terrible. Yeah, like, but it is funny. They, like, will look at you and they'll be like, takes everything away. Nice shoes. And you're like, yeah. I'm like, you got to put underpants on, brother. No, and they.

But you also can't be the guy who says that. I'll never have that. Ever. What do you mean? I'll never be like the, it. They used to, in our childhood, old men would walk. I would never, ever do that. There's no age where I'm, like, sauntering around like I'm a New England patriot.

Let me tell you something, Gary. That's why it was so weird with Kyle in the room during the Ves. I was like, this is very strange. Let me tell you something where you and I separate. I go to Baths. Yeah, I know. I've done one. And once I'm in the zone, don't care.

Yeah, it just... But if there was like an 18-year-old... If there was an 18-year-old kid, wouldn't like it. I like it when it's 40s and up. You're not looking for like 27-year-old guy in there where you're like... And I don't even care of his bodies. I'm just like, you're a little bit too young for this. I don't like it.

I don't like any of it. I'll steam room sometimes. I'll go, all right, whatever. I don't like it. I don't care for it. No. I mean, I had the jock strap on for a week, and I was alone, and I thought, this is not okay.

How many times has Kyle seen your penis? Uh, this is two times and they're both through a vasectomy. What do you mean? You heard a vasectomy twice? Oh, no, he said he was there for the prelim and there was hand-dropping. I want to get to know Kyle a little bit. After, has he ever said anything? He seen, I saw him a couple nights after.

What do you say? He said it was tough for him to watch. He said it. No, that's not what I meant. Did he give a compliment about your genitalia? Because it takes a certain kind of man. And I only say this because it minks. There were so many naked penis.

and every once in a while I would push myself to walk up to an actor with his underpants off and go good for you, brother, you've been blessed. And is one-on-one, no audience. I like how you said you're not going to be the old guy in the locker room either. That is, what are you talking about?

Without further. Hey, everybody, we just want to remind you if you want to watch new episodes of We're Here to Help, It drops a day early on Hulu. So you can watch the new episode a day early. And we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes from season one and season two. So get involved. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Function Health.

I got to tell you, function health is something that I did. I got the blood work done. I was excited to kind of take. more control of my own health and just to see what was going on with it. I really enjoyed it told me that I have high cholesterol, which is a drag. Trying to figure that out. Everything else was looking pretty good. I'm not gonna lie, I was doing pretty good.

Immunity was low. Fine. But there's something else I need to tell everybody. Said my biological age was 39.2. I'm eight and a half years younger than my calendar edge, so I just want to say thank you to function health. Check your health the way I do. 160 plus lab tests a year for $365. Plus the ability to dive deeper into your results through functions, connections to platforms

you already use like chat GPT and Claude. Join at functionhealth.com slash here to help or use gift code here to help 25 for a $25 credit towards your membership. This episode is brought to you by Schedule 35. Schedule 35 is a very trusted brand. Like I said, we love working with Schedule 35. This is the first trusted consumer psilocybin brand with nationwide reach in the United States. They have a very clear mission.

They want to help people bring psilocybin into their life. Silocybin research has shown meaningful benefits for mental health, including reduction in anxiety, depression, PTSD symptoms, and addiction. I'm a huge psilocybin fan. I take Schedule 35 fairly regularly. Schedule 35 products include capsules, gummies, teas, chocolates designed for both microdosing and recreational dosing. Every product is precisely dosing ships with a beginner-friendly guide, discrete shipping across Canada and United States. All customers are aged verified, 19 plus in Canada, 21 in the United States, and receive an invite code once verified.

At the core, Schedule 35 exists to build a healthier, more intentional community around Psycho Silvan through real products and real education. no hype, just access. And we brought to you my TaskRabbit. So there are many times where I'll be building something and I'll go, what am I doing? I'm out above my skis here. I don't know what the hell's going. And that's when you can use a TaskRabbit.

I was building a huge set of shelves at my place the other day and just was struggling. If you use TaskRabbit, someone comes over, does it. Plus, you can hang out. You just pick a trusted Tasker and they show up, they'll get it done. And taskers are often available for help the same day.

tell you, I did it. I got two different people so far and it has been excellent. I am a big fan of Task Rabbit. I'm going to start using it a lot. When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at task rabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code here to help. Taskers book up fast, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That's $15 off your first task using promo code here to help with TaskRabbit app or at task rabbit.com. Hello. Hello. Hi, welcome to our podcast. We're here to help. Can we get your name please? Yes, my name is Jess. Jess. Where are you calling from, Jess? I am calling from South Carolina,

just like outside of Charlotte right on the border. And what's your day to day, Jess? What keeps you busy? I work for a rock climbing gym. I'm like HR for rock climbing gym. So many rock climbing calls in our show. I wonder if it's... There's something about this in rock climbing.

The Venn diagram we're here to help in rock climbing. Because you're not a rock climbing, is a circle. No. Neither. I did it once and I honestly, it was embarrassing. Same. because I did it like up in Arizona like on a Oh no way yeah and I really

Was that with the you and Evan show? Yeah it was the travel show and it was I really You repelled? Well I climbed it and then yeah and then repelled And repelling by far the worst I you know how it is like if you get up on something Like ah and then you don't think about the down And I got up there and I was like oh shit

It's terrifying I had to repel with the Tom Cruise movie So we had to practice repelling off huge things And he would make fun of me because I was truly afraid. I remember we could cut this out, but you told me a story about your like, does this scare you? Yeah, he said,

and he was like, no, he's like, if I was falling and the rope went, maybe I'd get a rush. Like, that was all that was left for him. He said, I go, we were hanging at the top of a soundstage and our feet were dangling, or his feet were dangling.

I go, does that scary? And he goes, no. And he goes, I know I never would do this, but everything in me wants to jump. But he goes, but I'm not suicidal. I don't want to die, but I do want that rush. And I went like, I don't relate at all. Jess, what's going on?

What can we help you with today? Okay, so I'm calling because I need some help with, I guess, a big marital issue that I'm having. But you called the right place. Yeah, these two guys are going to help you figure this out for sure. It happens every time I get in the car with my husband. So for some contact, I'm up from upstate New York and my husband's from the South. And every time I start to think about this, I guess, like the regional stereotyping for driving it might be true. Where I'm from, people drive with like a purpose.

And my husband drives like he's out for like a joy ride every time we're in the car. He goes slow. Yes. So he loves to just always drive in the left lane. He doesn't keep up with traffic. Oh, that's the fuck. That drives me fucking crazy. The people who have no clue that the left lane is for fast?

Yes, he doesn't use his blinker. And then the worst part is, when somebody tries to pass him in the right lane, he speeds up all of a sudden. Like, he doesn't, I don't know if it's a conscious thing or not. But he'll speed up so that they can't get them. Yes. If there's an accident on the side of the road, he'll slow down and, like, move over so he can stare.

And then I'm stuck to just sit. in a passenger seat and just check the mirrors and watch the traffic pilot behind us and, like, panic. And it's literally one of my biggest pet peeves. So the problem I have is that he gets extremely car sick if he's not driving. So I'm always stuck as the passenger. So my question is, how do I fix somebody that has like 30 years of terrible driving habits when I am always stuck as the passenger in a car with him? This is not going to be easy. This is not going to easy.

It really isn't because... Jess, this is a hard problem. It really is. I mean, look, I'll be honest, we haven't written the prescription, but it is going to be from the lie department. I mean, yeah. Yeah, I can't think of any.

I think like the only, my first blush, well, first of all, it is insane. I have been, I drive, back and forth across the country. Watching people be dipshits on the road drives you crazy, but being in the car with someone and they are the worst is very difficult.

People, like, speeding in the right lane, sitting in the left lane, not paying attention. Everybody's texting. It's horrendous. So how do we get this, Gary? Because I agree with both of you guys. I also have to say, Jess, I'm a slow driver.

Are you sitting in the left lane? No. Okay. Because there are people who don't know about that. No, no, no. That drives me nuts. There's rules to the road. Yeah.

But when I'm on the highway, I cook on the right side. I do too now. You know, I definitely do. But I also recognize the rage of when someone is. It's really when you're in the car and someone's being a dips shit. It's like when someone is terrible at a restaurant. Like they don't know how to, they are bad at tipping. they have no clue about it drives you fucking nuts but you can't go you're a bad customer you just

kind of sit there and go like yeah yeah so jess what have you tried actually i've so i've tried um obviously i'm very passive so i don't like to to be mean and say things but i'll make little comments of you know like oh there's nobody in the right lane do you want to slide over to the right and let the cars behind us give by you or you know, the worst is if there's a car in front of us that's, like, slammed down their brakes, and I know he's not paying attention, and then I'll have to, you know, cling to the door and just like, hey, why isn't he paying attention? He's looking at something.

Is he looking at his phone? He's looking out the window or at his phone. Shiny things distract raccoons. Jess, you married a dog. I love him, but the right, is the main gripe the fact that he said, in the left lane with no clue that everybody on the road hates him? I think it's the, yeah, he's oblivious to the surrounding. And then if I mention it, I get the, well, I know how to drive.

I've been doing it for 30 years. You know, so you know, I've done this, Jess and Gareth was right. We need you to be as specific as possible about what we could help you with. Because to help you change the way a man drives entirely, who's not 14 or 15 and just started. This is tricky stuff. This is like, you know, but if it's something specific while driving,

we could maybe tackle that and we could maybe chip away at this problem. I think that's kind of right. I think we can open the door with the biggest one. And then we could slowly start mushing them the right way. Okay. Out of all the things you've talked about, the thing to me that shows the,

like he no concept of what's going on is sitting in the left lane and then speeding up. So that to me is like if I'm driving, that drives me fucking crazy. When someone's like, oh, you want to race and you're like, no, you're going 45 in a 70 in the left lane.

I want you to move your ass. Now that is illegal. There are people don't know, like not everyone gets ticketed for that, but there are certain states where they do pull people over for sitting in the left lane going too slow. My first pitch would be let's tackle that one. And that is a way to tackle some level of obliviousness on his part.

But you probably have to bite the bullet. I would suggest you come back with a fake ticket saying that you got pulled over for sitting in the left lane not going fast enough. That's a law. They're starting to enforce. Then you have to do like a day of traffic school that you're fucking bullshitting. but then I think that gives you That gives you the right then Anytime you're sitting there to go honey you're gonna get a ticket

Honey you're gonna get a ticket but we can do this with all this insanity How about this? You can order fake tickets Yeah but then the day where she's sitting at a mall being like and then he goes like How is traffic school and she goes like I mean let me make him a bunch of weird lies about that now She does it online you do it online Okay so then what if he's home and he goes well that's a problem she doesn't What he's not at? And then she's like, okay, we've got to go on Squarespace create a website.

And then we're going to get involved and be like, hey, Morgan, do you know how to create a Squarespace website? Walk me through the first problem that you're pointing out in this because so far you've just pushed the pitch in the right direction. So here's my kind of thought on the idea of a lie. But before we do that, Jess, I just want to be clear with you. I like what Garrett did. He identified a problem and he started fixing it. That tells me he's a goddamn problem. pro.

Here's the thing he missed as a attorney. We're not positive. That's what you were actually asking for. You're welcome, Jess. But he was ready to get you in an astro van and get you off the lot. I don't know if you walked in and saying, I need a van. I got a family. Before you say no, by the way, you look fantastic in the seat of this fucking thing.

And so, Jess, what is the specific thing he does? Because you said not paying attention to his surroundings. so we could maybe pitch on that. But if we're going to do like a fake ticket or a lie, the only way you prove that is if he's swerving lanes or he's hitting things. And he's done that too. I mean, I do agree. Like driving in the left lane is one of my big hobbies.

That is a big one. So, I mean, I will take that. That would be a huge win. So if we just got him out of the left lane for starters, and that worked, You would feel that was a win, and then we could maybe come back with the next one. Is that kind of what your heart's saying? Yeah, I would definitely take that as a win.

I got something really stupid, Gareth. Go. It might work, but it is stupid. Let's go. I'm calling this Martin Luther King, Jr. That's a bold, Jake, just to be clear, that is a bold title for your. We're here to help car pitch. Jess, you had a dream.

Oh. And in your dream, he was swerving around in the left lane and got killed. And you are not saying who pays attention to dream, but you wake up one morning and go like, what's his name? Kevin. You go like this. Oh, Kevin. Oh, Kevin. You're home.

You're George Bailey, and it's a wonderful life. You're kissing it. He's like, you're like, you know. you're not hurt, you're not hurt? Did you not hit those little orphans? And he goes like, what are you doing? And you go like, I had a dream. It was so real.

You were there and I was there and your work truck was there? And he goes like, what is happening? You go, you were in the left lane the way you do where you drive slow and you were rubbernecking the way you do where you just weren't paying attention to the world. And I'm not fighting with you. Kevin, it's just how you drive. And he goes, I don't drive like that. And you go like, I do. Again, I'm not fighting with you.

I'm so glad you're alive. But I had a dream. and we were in the car and then Kevin there was a bus and orphans came out you hit them you killed them

and then you hit a tree and you died and you play it like you're just in that wake and he goes like and you go hey Kevin like this was so real to me

promise me you won't do that promise me you won't do that promise me if you're in the left lane Kevin promise me if there's someone behind you in the left leg you'd just signal and go to the middle lane

weren't you Kevin please Kevin promise me Kevin you'll drive on the right side if there's an accident Kevin he won't slow down and be weird Kevin Please Kevin the orphans Kevin And everything you want because you had a dream here Kevin And it's scared you see it scared you I know it might seem funny Kevin But it's not funny to me see it's not funny to me Kevin

And you're pounding his chest see Before anything else gets said I actually like this a lot I think they're... I'll tell you why, it will work. My wife has done that a couple times where early in the morning, she's like, I just had a crazy dream.

And it was like, what she was like, and then I go like, okay, I won't eat meatloaf. Honestly, the amount of times I'm like, you know, I didn't cheat. Yeah. You know that that didn't happen, right? But that's not real. But then you go,

but I'm more than willing in this irrational state of emotions your unconscious taking over, I will make changes Because I don't want you in this amount of pain. I think that is so accurate that there is something. There is like the communication there is one where a man's mind doesn't know how to diffuse that bomb. Early on it, early first thing in the morning.

And the only real option is to just make some concessions because you're like, yeah, look, I'm done with pizza. I'm done with pizza. Yeah, fine. If I had a heart attack, I was eating pizza, I won't eat pizza for a while. But I'm telling you, I just went to the doctor. I'm healthy and you go like this. But I saw you. You were dying.

You were dying. All you were eating was dominoes. It's terrible for you. Ha, babe. So if we're going to get pizza, it can't be, dominoes, see? It can't be. Don't you understand? It won't be Domino again.

It's got to be Lou Melnotties, see? Kill me, it won't be. Just promise me it won't be. So, Jess, question for you. Can you cry on command? Oh, God. I don't, I mean, I'm a horrible liar. But, yeah, I mean, I could, I feel like maybe I could tell it.

I will say, I don't know if I could cry. Okay, you don't have to cry. Well, first of all, if he wakes up and she's just got a little vizine prepped on her face, something like that could work. But we maybe don't even need the tears. We might not even need it, but because as soon as you guys both wake, or you know what you do, Jess, and this is real weird, but this is going to make it easier for you, you wake him up at about three the morning.

Oh, that's great. So you're both in that weird statement. And the whole thing takes five minutes and then go, promise me, promise you go back to bed and you go like, did that happen? And he'll be like, that was crazy.

You're like, hey, Kevin, you got to change the way you drive. It was so vivid. And it goes like, it really, and go,

this is crazy and it's really scary, but you got to change the way you drive. It's also, I promise you, honey. It's, it's basically blaming your subconscious for dragging out something we've tried to,

to be polite about. It's also entering the woo, the spirituality. You go like, because then he'll go like, if now I got into a car accent, like, I don't know, maybe my wife has weird visions. We all want to go like, she doesn't, but you never know.

You can't. As a guy, just, I don't know how I'd win that argument. I would, like, I could see in a car being like, come on, now, get to the right lane because of that dream and I'd be like, this is a dream, but I'd still be like, I'm going to let it go. You get to the right lane.

So, Jess. what are you thinking here? I like that. I like that one a lot because we have like that moment every now and then where you know, you wake up in the morning and you're like, did that happen? Totally. Did you wake up? So I feel like that one is.

You like the 3 a.m. Yeah, I think that one would definitely work. Hey, Jess, it's 3 a.m. I'm Kevin. Let's see what happens. This has to happen. But Jess, I'm going to tell you this. I'm not going to give you a lot

and I'm not going to turn this into a comedy beat. It's going to be quiet. It's going to be 3 a.m. And we're going to see how you sell this for real. And for the record, I would have made it a comedy. It wouldn't have been helpful and it would have been a short-term game for me, potentially. Let's do this really fast.

Let's start with Gareth. Kevin, let's give him at least one take. Okay, thank you, Jake. Three, two. It is 3 a.m. Jess, wake up when you're ready. Dave, Dave.

Wake up, wake up. This goddamn dinosaurs are everywhere. Get out of here. I just had the worst. I had the worst dream. I'm still asleep. Don't you understand? Wait, you're in the tone of the anti-ed.

I'm going to call a self-cut, which I've never done on the show before, but go ahead. Holy shit. shirt, it's taking almost 300 episodes. The first time in 20 years of friendship, you're so God. I'm passing. I'm passing. I don't know what happened.

You did. You were anti-M. You went like, I'm fighting dinosaurs. It's crazy. I think I just felt what you always see. We've worked. We've done this too long when we're, and by the way, I felt yours. I was like, why wouldn't we do a comedy pass?

Kara is totally right. It makes no sense. I literally told her I'm not going to make jokes. And I proved you right. All right. Jess, I'm Kevin. We're in bed. Three, two.

Whatever you want to wake up. Just wake up and start this weird thing. Babe, babe, wake up. Yeah, what? Don't tomorrow, when you're going to work, don't drive in a left lane. Don't make sure you're not driving in the left lane. Oh, huh. So I had a, I had a horrible dream.

Just don't, going forward, don't drive in the left lane. I had a horrible dream that you, you crash, you crashed the truck and you died. You cannot drive in the left lane anymore. Just always stay out of left lane. I just can't, uh-huh, what are you saying? Just anytime you're driving, just stay out of the left lane. I had an awful dream like you were in the truck and you crash. and it blew up and you died.

Just don't drive in the left lane. Please, please don't drive in a left lane. Okay, what if I want to go fast? Sorry. Just, you don't go fast. It's fine. You don't drive fast. It's just stay out of the left lane.

All right, let's cut for a second. Yeah. We're getting there, but it's not quite there. Well, I think what we're, it's great. I think your acting is great. Agreed. I think what you should say is, it's an opportunity to sort of unearth the actual note a little bit.

Yes. You know? So I would say in all that, don't go in the left lane. He's going, why? What are you talking? Look, babe, sometimes when you're in the left lane, you don't understand that, like, it's for fast people. This is right.

This is right. You don't, I'm not trying to be rude, but I just don't feel like you should be in it. And the dream just confirmed that. I'm telling you this was more of a premonition. Just, babe, promise me, promise me. Or I hope it's not one. Yeah. Just promise me you won't go in there.

Just don't worry about the left lane. Please, you know, something like that. But give your note in there a little bit. Okay. Really good, but I would for sure start with. I had a dream. Don't start with. Don't go to the left lane.

Okay. Right? And I wouldn't be afraid to do a little bit of the, it's a wonderful life. Mm-hmm. If you can, yeah. Kiss, kiss. Oh, my God.

I love you. I love you. Yeah, yeah. Maybe hold him. Right. Where he's like, what is going on? and be like, you're alive, you're alive. That's great.

I'm just telling you, if my wife wakes me up and goes, don't go in the left lane, my first thought is, get out of here. Yeah. If it's first, I'm so glad you're alive, I go, me too. I didn't know I was almost dead. Why don't you say this? This was the dream you had. The dream was that he was in the car.

He was driving in the left lane. Someone was trying to overtake him. He sped up. That person went into the lane. He had to veer off the road. he hit a bus full of orphans and the bus exploded along with him. Like if you could be specific with what the dream is, that helps you. You say you're griping the dream and then you can make that transfer to real world.

Something like that. Oh, wow. So that way you know the dream. Because if he's like, what was the dream? You want to be able to say this was the dream. Gareth, let's have you be Kevin and let's just see if it shakes it up. Okay. Okay, ready?

And Jess, we need you to nail it on this one. You're very close. You really are. Okay. But here's what, but here, keep in mind, this is when you're telling him very specifically what you don't like about his driving that he has to change. It can't be vague.

Okay. Three, two. If you're willing to buy a hat on our website, you can adopt a chimp with Jake and Gareth and go. Babe, babe, babe, wake up. What? Hey. What?

Are you okay? I just had the worst, no, I just had the worst, you know, I just had the worst, worst, first, worst premonition dream.

What happened? Oh, man. You, you were driving. You were in a car and somebody was trying to take over the car and it, and it swerved and it hit a bus full of orphans

and, and it, like, you died and it exploded. It was so bad. Oh, my God. You were driving. It was like, you were in the left lane.

This all happened. And it was just, it was so bad. And just, what's going on? It was a huge. It was a huge. It was a huge, it was a huge, just premonition because of how much your,

your driving stresses me out. I have a premonition, you stopped talking and we all rolled around it of these sheets. Right, right. Right. This is between us right now. I'll turn around. Babe, that's not going to help. Babe, be really specific, like, what was the dream?

Because it felt a little kind of convoluted. So what was the dream? You are driving Just a little bit Don't talk while we're Because he's, dude She just went through some shit So wanna kiss?

I do Please You're all kiss after us Go ahead We kick this lunatic out of the bed She's talking about a dream We were here first You were here first

Then we brought you in Because we've been together for a while So please She always criticized You're driving She's not She had a dream, Roy Go ahead, babe

What was the dream exactly? Your driving is just It's stressing me out So much I'm having these premonition dreams now that you're crashing because you're not driving the way you should be. That's very specific and good. It is.

And you have to be, you have to be better just not follow the rules of the road. What rules am I not? Pause, Jess, you nailed it. You nailed it. It's great. I had a dream you got a terrible accident because you weren't following the rules of the road. You have to follow the rules of the road.

I can't mess around with this. He goes, huh? If you're in the left lane, you've got to drive fast. If there's an accident, you can't, all the things,

name them and go. Pay attention when you're driving. This has to change now. I mean it. Okay. Okay. Let's go one more time, and I'm going to give a note

that Roy's not in a bed and you guys are not in a thruple. I think that was a mistake. Now, why are you, that is a note for one person. For me. Yeah,

Okay, okay. Three, two. I'll be honest. I liked Roy. Lock in, Jess. Here we go. Three, two, Higley, and you can buy a hat on the website and adopt a job. I'm lucky to be included on the hat.

Go ahead. You weren't in the first take. It was this that I got, look, I got some back. And I said, we should throw Garathon. Hey, you're the man. I've done very little. He's got his feelings, aren't. I understand.

I've done nothing. Oh, God. Mm. I'm sleeping. I'm Kevin. Kevin. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, wake up. What? What? Are you okay? I've had the worst nightmare. Oh, no. I'm so happy you're alive. Oh, my God. I had the worst nightmare. It was like a premonition dream. You were driving in the truck. You were driving in the truck. And somebody tried to grab the steering wheel while you were driving. And you crashed into a bunch full of open. Nope. Nope. Nope. That's not what happened. Nope. Nope. Nobody grabbed the steering wheel. It's all got to be on me.

start again. I'm waking up. Hello. You were, I'm so happy you're alive. Oh my God. I just had a dream that you were in the car and it crashed into a bus full of orphan. What? I'm just, I think it's a premonition. I'm having like stress streams because of your driving. And you have to, oh my God, you have to be better. You're stressing me out. And you have to follow the rules of the law.

It was a dream. The laws of the road. No, it's giving me stress dreams now. What were you talking about? What am I not doing? What am I not doing? What am I not? You're, you're, you always drive in a less plane, and it's not meant for that.

It's meant for people that drive fast, and you have to stop doing that. You have to follow the rules of the road, and you're making me, you're causing me this anxiety to give me stress dreams and premonition dreams now. I drive funny. I think you're going to die. Hold on. You know what I think. You know what I think, Jess?

I think it's good. No. It's good. I think you are right there. I think you know what to do. I think it's going to work and I think you need to do it tonight and record it with a voice note. Okay. That's going to give you a little bit of pressure to actually do it.

I wouldn't keep practicing. It's going to get you in your head. Think right before you wake him up. All the stuff that annoys you about his driving. And fucking tell him. Here's what's good. I've been having dreams. Like it's reoccurring.

So you've been kind of bottling this in for a minute and you can't take it anymore. You said that on the last couple takes. I think that's really good. I think the premonition thing and just the. the specifics. He did it. And the goal of it is you're making him promise. He will change the way he drives.

That's the ending. And what's great is going forward if you're in the car with him and you feel this, the dream. Yeah. Babe, please go to the middle of it. You know. You had this. I'm having deja vu.

Yep. And he'll go like, God, you're insane. And you go like this, I'm having deja vu. Middle lane. Will you, it's Thursday right now. We got a weekend coming up. Will you do this either tonight or Saturday night. So that Sunday morning, you guys aren't dead tired at work?

Yes. And then will you record it with your voice? Now you'll got to wake yourself up a little bit before him. Get it prepared. Let's make sure we can hear you. We don't need to hear him as much. I wouldn't hate it. But don't let him go.

like why are you recording this? Why do I have a lavalier on? Yeah, exactly. Who's that boom operator? Was that Roy? Hello. Do you mind if we kiss, given?

But can you do that ASAP? Because I think hearing it, we might have to do a follow-up, or we're going to win off that voice note. Okay. Yeah, I can do that. Thank you, Jess. I think this is going to work.

You've got to really commit to it, Jess. Okay, I will, for sure. And like Jake said, This is the most important dream since MLKs. Go ahead, Jake. Yes. And the end of it, do not forget, do not ramble, I need you to promise me you will make a change with your driving.

And if he goes, let's set. Kevin! Until he goes, deal. And then you go, let's go back to bed. And then Roy jumps on and whatever you guys want to do for 15 to 20 minutes. We're not here to judge. I love this fantasy. The time frame is very realistic.

We're all getting older. 15 is fucking nuts. Okay, so thank you so much for the call. Thank you guys. I appreciate it. Bye. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. If you want to know what's great about Squarespace,

Gareth Reynolds, tell them about your website. Well, every, I keep business. building different websites because it's so easy with Squarespace. But I've been working with Squarespace for a while. Could not be more user-friendly. They make it very easy. And your website looks great. And we've built multiple websites on this show because it's so easy.

They really, they help you find the domain. They help you get the content out there. Here to HelpPod.com is our show website that is constantly evolving. And one thing I want to say, and that's a Squarespace, Guys, check out the website because it's starting to evolve a little bit. So we've gotten emails from people being like, where do I find the blank in the blank?

We'll go to here tohelppod.com, which is a Squarespace website to get all the answers you need. Squarespace gives you everything you need. It's got cutting edge design. It's got, you can put donations on there, fund directly on your website if you want.

You can put your content on there. There's also, the SEO tools, which for a while, I just kept saying it and I didn't know what it was. I don't know what it is. I'm going to tell you it's search engine optimization. So it's like if someone's looking for what you provide, they help you get higher in the search, which can be huge. That's cool. I think optimization's good. There you go. Well, coming in at the end.

So check out Squarespace.com slash Gil sent me. Oh, Miss Gil. Can we get a taste of Gil Buchanan reading? the end of this copy. Jake Jotson, SEO tools. Talk about being left behind in the search. That would be Gilbue, Canada, an island by himself.

Things are still going good. I've been talking into a microphone, but it's actually a shoe. I'm still in the closet, waiting for someone to come find me. Actually, Gil, it looks like your microphone is not plugged in, brother. Oh, God.

So sorry. I didn't understand how that was. Anyway, Squarespace slash Gil sent me. We're back. You're back. You're saying 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using Gil sent me. We're back, baby. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Uh, hello? This episode of the podcast

is brought to you by Quince. Lately, I've been more intentional on what I wear day to day, leaning into pieces that feel easy, comfortable, and put together. It just makes getting dressed simpler. Quince has been my go-to. The fabrics feel elevated. The fits are clean and everything just works without needing to overthink it. This is real talk. Literally tomorrow going on the road for about 11 days. And it's all quince. It's all quince. If it's not quince, it's because it's soon to be quince.

It makes getting dressed easy. And I know that maybe sounds wild to some people, but quince is my go-to. I know that I look as good as I can. I have bought probably nine quint shirts. I do a bunch of the black t-shirts. And lately I've done the short sleeve collared shirts. And I'll tell you why. I can wear it on the pod.

I could wear it out socially to a lunch, easy, but I can also wear it to a business of it. I'm not kidding. I have a closet rack in my Honda Odyssey. This is getting sad, but I do, and it's just all Quince stuff. Refresh your every day with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com slash here to help for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. And 365 day returns. Here to Help. That's Q-U-I-N-C-C-E dot com slash here to help. Hello. Hello, how are you? Hey, I'm good. How are you guys? Good, can we get your name, please?

My name is Cammy. Cammy? How would you spell it? So it's actually a French name, Camille, but without the L-L-E, so just Cammy, C-A-M-I. C-A-M-I, French name. Where are you from? So I'm currently based in Geneva. of Switzerland that I'm hot with African. Oh my God.

Where did you go to school? Was it international? No, I grew up in South Africa. So I went to school in Cape Town and then moved to Geneva 10 years ago. Why are you saying? Oh, yeah. Oh, I spent a little time in Namibia. I spent some time in India.

Not you, Kami. Hold on. Jake's just having a nice thing right now. Let me just sidebar with him and get him on track here. Cammy. I definitely spent some time in Namibia. She said Cape Town. Africa. I know it's right next to each other. Please, Gareth.

It's down neighbors, yeah. Why are you kind of whispering? It's a beautiful country, isn't it? No. Was that African accent? Where in Namibia were you staying? I shot a little movie there. Oh, you did? Oh.

I did. I was actually there. It's beautiful country, isn't it? I was in Cape Town, too. Wonderful. Anyhow. Is that still the African accent? It's really good. Yeah, yours. the way, thanks, Cammy. No more questions.

Thank you for being the best caller of the year. Cammy. It's March. It's March. Cammy, what can we do for you today? You don't have your old standby burns, do you, dear? Why'd you go in your little roll-in-ex of one-liners, huh? I did have that.

I would love it. Got him. Got his ass. Got his ass. And I have a board where I pin the used ones. I can't do that one again. Actually, I could do that one more. Cammy, what's up?

Yeah, so in December, 2025, one of these strings on my acoustic guitar snap, and I'm a beginner guitar player. So I go to a small guitar shop in my neighborhood in Geneva, by replacement. It sounds like every weekend for me. Yeah, this is just so. relatable. In Geneva Guitar Center, 100%. I'm South African. I was just playing my guitar.

I went to the shop in Switzerland after I had some dark chocolates. Then I was in the song. Then I made love with my lover. I read a book. I read a full book in one day and then I drove my scooter somewhere. I read a full book and then took my bike down to the boulogerie, got two baguettes for the weekend. I'm hosting. My equipment is like.

I had mac and cheese for the second time, and then I had a weird stomach cake, and then I got a plug test that went sideways. I woke up on the couch after sleeping for seven hours, and Hulu was saying, are you still there? And I said like, whoa, and I got really mad at somebody.

Anyway. Anyway. Oh, my God. Okay, so, Camille, please take home. Yes. So, small guitar shop, there's an elderly man, a Swiss man and I tried to pay

by card it's like five francs which is what six US dollars I think and yeah that's exactly he rolls his eyes with me and he's like

super rude and condescending because I don't have cash I have a card and he starts going off about like oh young people these days that like have cash anymore I don't know so that's fine

like I'll just go draw some money and return for the string but he replies like in an exasperated way. He says that came to take it for free. And like that's super generous of him after you know, being quite rude. That was a bit of call of God and I'm a bit of a people pleaseer. So I just insisted I'd come back the next day to pay him back and I never did. And that was three months ago. And yeah, I just, I feel super awkward now because I want to honor my promise and pay back for five

francs, but this guy was rude, but also super nice, giving me a string for free. So my question is, how do I pay back these five francs despite months gone by of avoiding this guy? This is easy. Yeah. I got a straightforward one too. Go ahead, Gareth. When do you start?

You want to make it do mine? I go, I give them 20 francs. I give him a bottle of wine. I say, sorry, it took me so long. I appreciate your generosity. And I don't stick around. I have a little gift bag. and I go, I walk in, I go, hey, do you remember me?

And he'll go, like, of course. And you go, I was the lady who came. I did not have the money. He goes, I remember who you are. You say, this is for you. He goes, not necessary. You say, where are they? Please put the roller decks down.

I'm just simply asking. Switcher. Okay, I just want to make sure. Yeah, this is in Geneva, Switzerland. It's an older Swiss guy. French-speaking guy. I, Tammy, just to be clear. I'm so sorry.

I thought we were in South Africa. Tammy, I know. I just, Jake's pitch sort of. seems to hinge upon that for some reason. Cammy, how does he talk? Yes, Cammy, can we hear how he talks? And then Jekl replicate it, obviously. It's a perfection.

I'm like a goddamn parrot. Well, you know, it's... I'm like, I'm a call. I'm very much a French stereotype, but it was a lot of that and all along. And, you know, those kinds of... One of those sounds we were just making. What do you mean? Aren't you the mimic?

What do you talk about that? I was, but I didn't expect it to be like weird sexual sounds. Earth, heat, la la. Yeah. So what do you, hey, Camille, what do you think about something nice and clean? Walk in with a little bag. In there, there's some goodies. And you go, this is just my thank you.

Sorry, it took so long. And then you skiddle. He doesn't even, you're not even there for the reaction shots. Yeah, I was thinking about that, about just running in and running back out or going even, you know, the cowardly way and slipping an envelope under his door. No, no, no, no. I wouldn't do a slip-out. He'll never remember you are.

It's just a face that's going to matter. Gareth, what are you thinking? I like it, but I think there is, you know, we could justify the long absence because Cammy, you as a musician, do you have a good voice? Yes, she does. No, no.

Do you have an okay voice? No, the guitar is the singing for me. So you don't sing with that guitar, you just strum it? Oh, yeah. That's how we're different, kid. Keep going to, yeah, I was going to anyway, but thank you. My pitch is Cammy, you write a song for this classic man. I love this.

Called the man with the free string. And you write it. And if you can't sing, you bring in a friend who can sing. And you're going to give him the five francs at the very end. but after you perform a song that is an homage to his kindness and his classical ways called The Man with the Free String. So I'm going to tell you. Oh my God, I love her.

Yeah, it's ridiculous. And I don't even think you need to do the singing if you don't want to. But if you go in, you have a bottle of wine, you've got the five francs, and then you go, because of your generosity of giving it to me, with the new string. I've taken these three months. I've written this song. I would like to play it for you if you're interested.

If not, thank you so much for the Franks. That was very kind of you. The wine is the interest. And if he goes, which I think he'll go, then you go, then you go take out the guitar, cammy, and let those fingers do it. what God wants you to do.

Right. But I would take a second to actually write a little something. Like, you know, don't go in there and wing it. Give a little thought because we're saying you've been on hiatus kind of... Yeah, but I'm sure you got a song you've been practicing or playing. Is that true? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the beginning of most of the song.

And then I... Hey, Cammy. How close are you to that wooden box with strings on it? It's actually at my parents' house right now. It's not with me. Whose house? Parents. My parents.

I'm at my house. Parents. Yeah. Yeah. Her parents are in Switzerland too. Okay. I didn't know. I didn't know you were the fucking mayor of where she lives, Jake.

Okay. I could just understand her accent because I grew up with kids like her. No, you didn't. You grew up in Chicago and wanted to be called Arnold because of different strokes. That was mean-spirited. I told you that in confidence. You told me that on the show. Cammy, what do you think of that as a plan?

I mean, I love it. The best case scenario is that he's super nice about it. The more realistic scenario is that he'll be quite rude. What would I do in that appreciation? If he, like, I don't know, chases me out of his shop. If he says, if he goes, I don't want to hear it? Yeah, yeah. Then you give him the five francs of bottle wine and you leave.

Yeah. I think it's a either way it's kind of like it's a nice gesture even to mention it. To play it, I think is ultimately what you want. But you're the winner, not him. Yeah. You called in because you felt weird about the situation. So now we're going to go over the top with a victorious gesture.

If he says pass, let's scrooge pass. Yeah. Then you give him a bottle of wine and what you owed him. And you have it again, you do have a reason why you weren't there. You wrote him something. He don't want to hear it. Honestly, that might be best case scenario. I like that.

Yeah. Because then you get the credit for yourself. Three months. Then you don't have to show the teacher your work. Just get the fuck out of there with the grade. That's not bad. Perfect. Will you do us a favor?

And will you record yourself playing the song before and send it to us? And then what we'll do is after this, we'll just play the song? Absolutely. Yeah. Do you think you're going to bring in someone to sing or you're just going to go instrumental? I think the instrumental obviously works. I mean, I'll ask around with my girlfriends and see who's keen. I think if you got someone singing it, it's pretty damn great.

I don't hate that. Oh, I have an idea. What if the song was the theme song until we're here to help? And you say, this is about you. Ooh. Because he's there to help you go, you go, this inspired me, but you do. And then guess what? We'll play it for an episode of the theme song.

Yes. If he gets confused. He can see a French. And he was there to help. Yes. Because we're here to help. And then rather than Gareth and Jake, you go, Gareth, Jake, whatever his name is, you find out.

Renard. So we're here to it with Jake, Gerith, Renard. In French. Because then he's going to go like, wow. All right. But what do you, because I honestly, Cammy, what this will do is this will work. It'll give you something fun to do.

No matter. what, he gets a bottle of wine, the five francs, and the song. That's a fucking great gift. I mean, I think it's adorable. It's adorable, goddamn. And hearing the song in French would be adorable for us. Yeah. Yeah.

So I love that. You're as excited. Are you as excited as we are? I am. Yeah. I never could have. This feels like a Swiss excited. So get to work.

We appreciate it. This will be great. And don't forget, we need a copy. I will send that to you and I'll get right to work. Jake, why don't you do a Swiss sign-off? I'd rather do a South African. Okay. You want to do both?

Maybe start with Swiss. Hey, Kami, you want to just talk a little bit like our native tongue? In our native tongue, I should say. You mean in French? Yes. He's learning that right now. You want me to say something? Yeah.

So Jake would like, yeah, that's what he asked for, isn't it? Jake? Jake? You're speaking French in South Africa? Okay, Camby. Thanks for the call. Goodbye, Camby. Bye.

Bye. Sweet Jesse here. This next call is a follow-up from episode 280 carjacking. Hello? Hello. Hi. Good. Welcome back.

We know you're a follow-up. We don't know anything else. So what's your name? My name, I believe, I think I'm Joe. Cool. And my follow-up is about a personal issue I had regarding some performance anxiety for an upcoming test I had and how to get around to give them my constraints. Long story short, I was getting of a septomy. and my hospital changed the test location.

I could no longer prepare at home and bring the sample in. However, I now need to go in or I needed to go into the hospital. At the time, I was, my phone was monitored by work. And so I had some real stresses about doing that on my work phone, let alone in the hospital in public, or I guess not in public and technically in a bathroom. I remember this. This was about bringing your wife too.

Yeah, we turned it into a vasectomy date. Exactly, exactly. It was a vasectomy date. We were going to bring my wife to the hospital. We were going to make a date day out of it. It was going to be amazing. I sent her the invite. Yeah, yeah.

I sent her the invite and she passed hard. Mostly because of work. She is the smarter one in the relationship. I have a work question. My question. Yeah, and so, and so I Hold on, hold on, hold us through this. Yeah.

You sent an image. It says date night, quick trip to Poundown, Friday, 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. That's not a quick trip. That's a long trip to Pound Town. Well, the Poundtown is the quick trip. And then, and then we do, we do it. It was going to be a really nice date day. We were going to go to a pin ball like arcade after and kind of make a date day out of it

because we hadn't gone in a while. or ever to that pinball spot. One guess, the response is one no. She noted. And she said, I have to work. I have work. I have work, sorry? Yeah, yeah.

All right, so then what happened? So, effectively, I was also, I still was having performance anxiety getting through it. And so I pivoted. So I, instead of kind of being stuck and not going to the hospital and not going with her, I was starting to look for new jobs and I accelerated that process and I ended up getting a new job so that this isn't a problem anymore. So the concern was that when I was at that job, I was on a phone that that was monitored by work. And so I couldn't get my test done. And it was, so it wasn't the reason for it.

It was a parallel path, but it accelerated my parallel path. Okay. So that it stopped between an issue. So that you switched your job so you could masturbate off an image on your phone? Because your wife rejected your jack date. It was a background pivot, but it was a fact. Like it was an upsides. So is the job an upgrade?

No, it's Burger King. The job is an overall upgrade, and it works out for where we are with the kids in life. Okay. But, I mean, ideally, I would still like to try and figure out how I can get the wife to do the appointment. I tried to set the appointment up and it just didn't work. That's what I was going to ask.

But she just doesn't want to do that. Did she have a follow-up when she rejected your invite? But was she like, hey, what the hell was that? She doesn't want to masturbate him in a doctor's eye. She doesn't, yeah, she thinks it's a religious-based hospital. They won't let her into the room with me. I get it on some part of it. But, yeah, I guess if not all as well, it ends well.

It's no longer the issue that I called in about, but I did get it solved. Okay. I mean, so it is one happy ending. Okay, so, well, I think we're good. I mean, would not a bell ring at all. Your wife rejected. Not a bell ring on this one. Not a bell ring on this one.

Yeah, I guess, no. Unfortunately not. Unless you guys could have figured or we could figure out a way in the future, but I don't think she wants to work comes first. No, no, no, no. I'm a hundred percent not into trying to convince your wife to give you a masturbate in a bathroom of a hospital. Whereas we call it a master date.

We're not into that. No, I'm into that if it's about the vasectomy, which she wants. But I'm also... No, we got it. This was a means to an end. Yes. And we met the end.

So, yeah, I, I rung the bell. Like, the bell was rang. It just, unfortunately, I... Agreed. It was. But you, but you, and I think that's fair. So then let me ask you a question. How did it go the day in the doctor's office?

So I have yet to do that because insurance and the doctor's office was a nightmare in itself. So, in a short gap between... Because we don't know if your anxiety is going to get on top. That's fair. There's a real chance. You're going to be looking at those images with a overcooked middle in your hand and go, no, bueno. It's true. Yeah.

No, that's fair. That's fair. Yeah. I'm trying to get product out of this Tutsi roll, but there's nothing in there. Okay. Enough. But yeah, exactly. Yeah.

I certainly hope not. This Twinkie has no feeling. Then it's just a spongy. Technically, I now have a solution to get her done. Even he's trying to jump. he's like, okay, Jake. Jake's going sideways,

I'm out of here, my man. This canola is only crisp. This jelly donut has no jelly. I technically have one more trip back, but it's no longer a issue of how I, how do I give the sample? No filling. Yeah.

Well, Joe, what is your plan? Is Orioles just two thinments? All I want to do is more. I'm not going to. So what is the plan when you go in there? Do you know what you're going to watch? Have you thought about it? It is a fair question.

I don't. I still haven't thought about it. I mean, I think now with the whole internet at your fingertips, I think that you don't even need to think about it, which is a whole other podcast. in itself. Agreed. But yeah, I...

You ever thought of chimps doing Jiu-Jitsu? Whoa. Hey. I hope that's not why you're raising the chimps and turn them into adoption. Certainly not. But it is a whole other podcast. They won't let me hear those creatures.

Those, they won't let me hear those wild animals. Jake's the only guy who's got to cease and desist from his own charity. All right. Well, guess what, man. This is, you know, I think we deserve... It's not a win. It's not a loss. I think we deserve a very quick third follow-up.

I agree. And I think... You know what the follow-up should be, though? It should just be a voice note. Yeah, that's fine. And I think, look, what is good here is you should take your wife out on a date. You should go to the, you know, you're getting your tubes clipped. Why not take her out bowling or whatever you're talking about anyway, you know?

Maybe just even as an Maya Culpah for the... weird-ass Google invite that just basically asked her to jerk you off at a religious doctor's office with zero context and she had replied, I have work. I want to say if I got that invite, I'd be pissed. I'd be in. You'd just jerk off any guy who sent that to you? I wouldn't even need to see the email. He'd be like, dude, I'm happy to help.

You're getting into this act. Yeah, option A. Option A. All right. And then after you jerked him off, you'd go, do we switch? and I would say, no, you said yes. Awesome. I just came to the hospital to masturbate you.

Awesome. You want to get lunch? You paid? You go, yes. Yes. Sucker! What a sucker! I get to pay.

Idiot! All right, well, voice noted up, Joe. Let us know, okay? You got it. Thank you guys so much. Thanks, buddy. Appreciate you. Good luck.

I'm getting mine soon, so good luck. Hey, please. I do not regret it still. So, that's a luck. All right, buddy. Bye. Bye. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds.

If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at HelpfulPod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The theme song by Oliver Raleigh.

The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to garethrenolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast. That was a HeadGum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown.

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on HeadGum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Yeah.

Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Often. A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to That Was Us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.