We're Here to Help - 292: Warzone Burger Bowl & Johnny's Got A Bad Back

Episode Date: May 25, 2026

Gareth and Jake help a feminist set boundaries with her gamer boyfriend. Then, they teach an aging punk rocker about yoga. Plus, an update from Ep 256 "All Laser Pointers (or No Laser Pointers)."Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. And we are... Hey back, Jake. G-man, how many of these episodes have we made, sir? God, I don't know. even know. What are we at? I just looked today,

289 was released. Crazy. We're going to be a 300 soon, sir. That is crazy. Wait, fuck. We did something big for 100. We did something big for 200. We got to do something big for 300. Yes.

Well, dare I say, we're revamping Patreon. Okay. We could do a 300 on Patreon. Oh, do the live thing? Do a live thing. It's kind of flown by, but it also feels like it's been a while. It's one of those weird. It feels like it's flown by and we've been doing this forever,

and I can never remember not doing this podcast. I feel the same way. I feel like we've been doing this. But also it doesn't feel that. It's very funny because we've talked about a thousand times, but it just kind of happens so randomly. It just keeps bobbing and weaving. I know.

That's wild. And just keeps bobbing and weaving. So we are officially doing a 300th live on Patreon. We're going to set the date. It's going to be soon. Yeah. Great. I'm around.

Me too. I'm around end of May early June. Now, do we talk about other Hollywood business? Are we... Buddy. Buddy. Yeah. Betty.

Big day. Big day. Big day. My new show, Sunset, P.I. was picked up by NBC. I fly to New York City tomorrow morning. That's why we're doing a late night tonight. We're doing the up fronts.

We are back in. We're making it happen. What is, I mean, that must feel so great. It's pretty cool. I agree. And for you,

it sounds great. It sounds like such a wheelhouse or. You know what I'm excited about is the episode that Gareth Reynolds appears on. Your early pitch, Gareth, for who you will play in Sunset, P.I.

Oh, it's got to be. I mean, you know, okay, beauty, love this for me. Suspect, red herring suspect, who keeps getting details wrong, but didn't actually have an involvement in it at all. Let's do an audition for it in three, do I, Gareth Reynolds this late. This is for episode four of Sunset B.I.

Gareth, are you ready? Hands, I will shave. Okay. Oh, you have shaved. I'll grow. You've waxed. I'll grow. I'll do anything.

You know you should say, Gareth Reynolds, I will wax and snip. I'm waxed and cut. Okay, so you will wax your genitia? Would you wax your butt hole? Yes. What words would you say while being waxed? Whatever you want me to say, but my cash phrase during waxing is wowie. Well, can we hear that a couple times?

And three, two, one, action. Oh, wowie. Wow, that really got me. That was really great, Gares. So let's try again. So now pretend you're being waxed. Is this the scene? It became it.

Now, pretend you're being waxed. And, you know, this, I don't know if you've ever had it, but it hurts. Your line is, oh, okay. So your line is, oh, wawi, wawi, oh, wawi. Okay. Oh, wow wee. Oh, wowie. Oh, wowie.

Wowy. Good. He lost it on the end because I laughed. I agree. I agree. So let's, and that was my fault. So let's with a little less spit on the ball and a little bit more. Does Jake ever come to these?

Is he ever at these? He's on the other side of that mirror. It's a one-wing hair. It's a two-way. Yeah, two-way. Yeah. It's a two-way. So he's back there.

If you can hear me back there. He's probably chuckling. No, anybody's having to laugh. Yeah. He's back there with like four executives. They're testing this. He loves my stuff. All right, ready?

Three, whenever you're ready on your own thing, because obviously when I counted down, you changed. Okay, you want, yeah, all right. I'm not sure if you always run it like this. What does that mean? Are you judging the way I run my castings too? I like the way you run it. Huh?

I like the way you run it. Okay, thanks. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm very good. Your eyes are very glassy, sir. I was asleep. I was near sleep on the couch not too long ago. How tired are you?

I'm tired. Oh, how long was the drive? Oh, wowie. Pass. Yeah, agreed. Really fast. Let's get you this job. Real quiet.

You're getting your nets waxed in three, two, one, action. Wowie. Wowie. Wow. Thank you so much for coming in. We're very happy with that. Put a pin in you. That's good.

Don't tell me that's good. No, it is. Yeah, absolutely. That you want that. Next is hip pocket, which is fun too. I don't think it's, I don't think hip pockets a term. I remember you.

Yes. A manager, that means, oh, an agent, but you'd be in the side. Hip pocketed, it was an old Hollywood term,

which means they wouldn't really represent you. No. I told you the story when Eric and Derek Waters and all those guys tried to get me their manager. His name was Jim Sheridan, I believe. And he came and saw a sketch And they were all like, you gotta represent Jake

He doesn't have an agent on a manager He just moved to town And I went into his Hollywood apartment Where his office was too Not good This feels like Sunset PI There was like a weird little living room

He was You could like smell his microwave food He said go ahead Do the characters So I did three different sketch characters For a man sitting at a kitchen table Who was not laughing And we were

were fully committing and making eye contact. And he was not laughing. And I just kept going for it. And afterwards, he said, you know, I've been in this business for a while now. And he goes, and I can see when somebody has it. And you, sir, do not have it. Wow. That's fucking crazy.

Well, I appreciate that, man. And he goes, I'm not going to represent you. You're not ready for that. And I go, well, it was so wild. Like, he wasn't nervous to be this rude to me. And I was like, I'm still acting professional, but it is just too. guys in an apartment out. That was really mean.

It's not like you're doing great. But instead I went and like, well, anyhow, thank for the opportunity. If you ever changed you your money. And he was like, thanks so much. And I walked out. I'm like, what a little goober I am. So then, I mean, I've been there, though, where you take it on the shit so hard. You're like, I shouldn't.

Well, what do you tell Eric and Derek after that? You're like, I don't know. Man, it wasn't a good fit. I mean, obviously he was loving what I was doing. You know, like, I don't know. The first character wasn't the right one to put in the first slide. Yeah. But honestly, like, for me, I'm not sure he's a good fit.

I don't know. I think I'm going to pass. He's still in the business, this fella? I don't know. Oh, God. Now, you should. This is what I would do. I would reach out.

If I was you, I would say, hey, Sheridan, it's Jake Johnson. I don't know if you remember 20 years ago, I was in your weird apartment that smelled like lean cuisines. And I did three characters for you. He said, I didn't have it. You know the things I have it? NBC, baby. Just got picked up. No, because then he could also go,

I've seen you, not a fan. And then I would go, it would still hurt. It would still hurt. From a fake manner, he'd go like this. I hear you, but let's see how the numbers do. And I'll be like, it's a good response. We need a second season more than any other time.

Then he goes, I mean, two seasons these days, you're doing short seasons. We need syndicate. I know they don't do syndication anymore. We need syndication. I need to be on TVS in the afternoon. He's like, guy, he's like, kid, you just don't got it. We're going to show, we're going to show him like Sheridan style.

We don't got it. Yes, we do. They've been in this business for a long time. We got it. And they're just sitting at a kitchen, they're just sitting at a kitchen table, smelling like hungry man meals. This isn't even an office. This is an apartment without further.

Further. I do. Just want to mention that all new episodes are released a day early on Hulu. Yep. We are also having our back catalog is going to be on Hulu. That's right. About 20 at a time.

So if you have not checked us out on Hulu, then check us out on Hulu. Gareth, Jesse, are we saying any lies? No, and you can get season one, season two. We're going to have a nice melange on Hulu, but the day early. I mean, there's a lot of advantages. Here's another thing.

People going, well, I don't have Hulu. You got YouTube? because we're there too. Yeah. Hulu a day early. YouTube for stragglers. And also. You go, I don't have that.

We got Patreon. Yeah. And they go, I don't have that. What do you want? Yeah. Okay, Jake. We're trying to be inclusive and you're yelling at them.

But I think you're right. It's just, look. Watch this show anywhere. There's a lot of options. Okay. Hulu's early. Hulu's early. Audio day of.

YouTube day of. Patreon, no ads. Here's the way to remember it. Hulu, new, so Nulu. It's not the way to remember. They also have back catalog stuff. Okay, then that we call... Yeah, all right, it's falling apart.

This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Casper Mattresses. That's right. Um, listen, the bed, I find this when I travel, Jake. The bed really... Huge. The bed is... You miss the bed. When you come back and you get to your bed...

If you don't have a good bed, you're screwed. Ah, and Casper makes the best bed. And you know what else? They sent us a couple of pillows, and I just napped on those right before this ad. And let me tell you, brother, they did their job. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a big pillow guy. That's interesting. That sounds like a, that's, that's interesting.

Not a lot of them. Is that right? I know what I like in a pillow. That's interesting. I'm not just to any pillow. I'm not either. What I like in a pillow. I know what I like in a pillow too.

And I like a Casper. It comes to your home with snow technology that'll make you, they make you keep your cool no matter what. People say you spend a third of your time. You got snow technology, brother. I don't know what that means. You're cool no matter what. It's not true.

You spend a third of your time of sleep, but, you know, there's times, too, where you're just hanging out in bed. That happens. Jake, last time you ate in bed? Eight? Yeah, ate something. I don't eat in bed. All right. You ever realized how much you would like to say?

You ate in bed. Yeah, he is today. What did you eat? Chips. I had chips. It was a bad choice, but it's okay. You ate chips on a Casper? That's exactly right, my friend.

I'm really sorry. But Casper makes reliable, high-quality mattresses. designed to deliver consistent, comfortable sleep night after night. Casper's mattresses are highly rated by consumer reports. And out of 99 mattresses, consumer reports named Casper's the one. It's the one mattress. They're top rated all-foam mattress of 2026. It's impressive.

Right now, save up to 30% off of mattresses and up to 35% on everything else when you go to casper.com. One last time, that's Casper. C-A-S-P-E-R dot com and save up to 30% off on the mattress that you deserve. We are brought to you by booking.com. Booking dot. Yeah, Gareth. Well, we've, listen, we love booking.com.

It offers a wide array of hotels, vacation rentals. I mean, we've talked about this before. You go to booking.com. You're going to find exactly what you're looking. for. I know they say booking for, but I'm being serious. You're going to find, I use it all the time when I go on the road, whenever I have to book my own accommodation. Well, because it's easy. It's easy. It offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the United States so you can find exactly what you're booking for. There's something for

everyone, even those who are impossible to please. I'm going to say I'm a little impossible to please. I was going to say. You and then you also have kids, which is difficult. But booking.com, I don't do a lot of the Airbnb-style rentals. I like hotels. I use it. You prefer like the house. I would rather,

I mean, but that's what I like about using it, is that you sort of get a sense of the area, you know, how far away you are from where you're going to go. So that's true. I go back and forth, but I would,

I want a kitchen. I will cook. I don't care. I don't care for anyone's judgment. You just spend a lot of time on the road. Yeah, it's not great. But booking.com makes out of the road are you out of 365? It varies year to year.

Last year was, I mean, last year was over 50%. And how many of those are you using booking.com? Probably 15% because a lot of times the club will book where I'm going for. But if I have a down night, what I've been trying to do lately is find if I can book my own stuff, which I'm trying to more and more, I kind of find a place in the middle of three cities so I can stay in the same place. But that's booking.com right there. That's like we always say. Find exactly what you're booking for.

Booking.com. Booking. Yeah, book today on the site or in the app. Yes. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. If you want to know what's great about Squarespace, Gareth Reynolds, tell them about your website. Well, every, I keep building different websites,

because it's so easy with Squarespace, but I've been working with Squarespace for a while, could not be more user-friendly. They make it very easy. And your website looks great. And we've built multiple websites on this show because it's so easy. They really, they help you find the domain.

They help you get content out there. By the way, here to help pod.com is our show website that is constantly evolving. And one thing I want to say, and that's a Squarespace, guys, check out the website. because it's starting to evolve a little bit. So we've gotten emails from people being like, where do I find the blank in the blank?

We'll go to here to help pod.com, which is a Squarespace website to get all the answers you need. SquareSpace gives you everything you need. It's got cutting edge design. It's got, you can put donations on there, fund directly on your website if you want. You can put your content on there.

There's also is the SEO tools, which for a while I just kept saying it and I didn't know what it was. I don't know what it is. I'm going to tell you it's search engine optimization. So it's like if someone's looking for what you provide, they help you get higher in the search, which can be huge. That's cool. I think optimization's good.

There you go. Well, coming in at the end. So check out Squarespace.com slash Gil sent me. Oh, Miss Gil. Can we get a taste of Gil Buchanan reading the end of this copy? Jake Jotson, SEO tools. Talk about being left behind in the search. That would be Gilbuk, Canada, on an island by himself.

Things are still going good. I've been talking into a microphone, but it's actually a shoe. I'm still in the closet waiting for someone to come find me. Actually, Gil, it looks like your microphone is not plugged in, brother. Oh, God. So sorry. I didn't understand how that was. Anyway, Squarespace slash Gil sent me. We're back.

To save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain, Gil sent me. We're back, baby. Hello? Hello. Hello. Can we get your name, please? My name is Savannah.

Savannah, will you tell us all the things you think we're going to ask with as much energy as you got? Just see if you can run your own intro. Savannah, go. Am I giving my problem? Is that what you're asking? Just do whatever you want to do. You're blowing this.

Oh my God, there's so much pressure. I don't know. Savannah, go. I was just reading like one of your classic questions. You guys make me nervous. Savannah, go. Okay, I'm just going to start with my question. Here I go.

Savannah, tell us about yourself. Okay, my name is Savannah. I'm 30 years young. I live in Jacksonville, Florida, and I like to crochet. There it is. That's a pretty damn good. Savannah, if there's a name of a book and it was about you, what would it be called?

No, I. I hate this question and I was really worried because we're going to ask. Savannah, there's a book about your life. What's it called? Go, Savannah. It's called. I hate this and I'm ready for it to be over. That sounds really dark.

I take it back. That's not what it is. By the way, I'm stealing that. I hate this and I'm ready for it to be over. Does you like this on the cover? It's one of my early headshots where I have like a beady on and I'm like, I would love to see that. Headshot, please.

All right, Savannah, what's your problem? Thanks for the energy. Okay. So my boyfriend and I live together, and he, like, one to two nights a week, he plays Xbox in our shared, like, room that we use as an office, with his long-distance buddies. What did you say? He's not sexy, and he's right. I mean, listen, we'll get into this, but I...

We're of a different generation. One of the... Are we? Because one time I went over to Berg's place for something. And he was gaming and he had his headset on and his controller in his hand. Well, he just had to hand me something like at the door. And he was like, hold on with a second, guys. There you go.

Thanks a lot. And I was like, this is life changing. The worst. This is the lowest I've seen you. It was tough to see. I get it. Savannah. Keep going.

Yeah, this is going to pay him in a really bad light. And I did warn him that, but we're all okay with that. He's a great guy. So he has these like noise He plays video games twice Yeah he's a little bit of a baby boy too He's he's both He's sometimes baby boy

But he puts on these noise cancelling Like over the ear Over the ear headphones And they are blasting like The sounds of his shooter games His friend's voices Sometimes there's music That he does that

Oh yeah He's not bothering me I'm doing my own thing And if I'm home Like I'll usually come interrupt him I don't interrupt him a lot but just like to bring him dinner. Classic, you know, great girlfriend

bringing a home cook meal to her loser gamer boyfriend. You're a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a baby boy. But I, that's where my problem comes in because I cannot enter that room while my boyfriend is gaming

without scaring the living shit out of him because he is so absorbed in his little shooter game that he's not hearing me not. He's not hearing me yell. So he's like on edge. And then suddenly I'm like next to him and he jumps out of his skin.

So no matter what, I do. He just cannot hear me. And then like 10% of the time, my warnings are somehow, my warnings are the ones that are too loud. And like that scares him. And then there's like five percent of the time where, you know, I walk in. I give him this mail. And he hears the coming and it's fine. But we're both sick of him, me scaring him. So my question is, like, how do I interrupt his gaming without scaring him to death? Jake, what a great setup this guy has. He's just sitting there gaming and she's door dashing food to him. and the problem here is, I'm frightening my boyfriend. Agreed. I mean, it is a man's world. That is crazy. How do I scare him last while he's gaming and feeding him?

My grown boyfriend is getting scared from his food. I mean, I mean, it would be a bad look for him. Well, it's just, it's good for him. Good for him, I guess. It certainly is. What are you bringing him normally? How, how, like, what sort of things are you dropping off? Like, what sort of meals?

Yeah. Meals. I'm, you know, I'm cooking everything. I'm cooking pasta. I'm cooking burger bowls. I'm cooking like salads. I don't know. I'm going to get real jealous.

A wide variety. It's just a crazy. He's just in a little room. You're like, you know, I've got a question. How do I turn my boyfriend on less while he's gaming all I'm trying on my lingerie while cooking and food. And how do I not hurt his shoulder so much after I give him his massages? Because I have also crazy strong hands.

And he's like, No, get away from me with the lingerie and the food and the massages. How can my boyfriend keep focus while he's playing games with his weird friends from across the country while I jerk him off? How do I make it perfect for my boyfriend? Yeah. Well, he's like, get out of here. I'm playing with a 12-year-boy named Trevor.

I'll fucking kill you, Trevor. We're in a war. I'm trying to buy some bows and arrows. Yeah, he's like, I'm in a make-believe world where I have a girlfriend named Bavanna. And Pavano's making me meal loaf and not scaring me. You're scaring me. The idea that he, so he brought this up at some point. He's like, babe, I love you, but you're scaring me with my dinners.

No, that's not how he brought it up. He brought it up like this. When you bring me me me loaf, it scares me! And then his buddies on his headset My girlfriend scares me too When I play shooter game How about this? The guy is in the middle of a fake war zone

And he's like this M-14 takeout 95-9er He's He is in the trenches In a full-on war And then he gets a burger ball I'm playing a game called Prisoner War I'm in the shit

Ah My Burger Bowl! What a burger bowl. What a baby boy, dude. I almost killed my burger bowl. You can't scare me like that. I'm shooting my enemies. I can't wait for your boyfriend to listen to this episode.

He's going to be furious. No, he fully predicted this, I will say. He said, you know, he could be the punching bag if it makes it a good episode. He understands how guys are going to talk about guys on this, because this one is, every once in a while a guy will have a situation where you'll go like, buddy, you don't know how good you got it. He doesn't, he does not, he should, he would not want people to know this.

No, this is, there's a fear now that he might have to prepare his own little suppers. There's a fear now that now he's good, the end of this is going to him being, I'm him going, I'm really sorry. I have noise canceling headphones. I play video games.

You scare. First of all, I want to say thank you. I love you. And second of all, I'm going to put a timer on when there's dinner and I'm going to come get it. Yeah. There you know.

That's solution, yeah. Well, that's an obvious. The real solution is going to be easy, and that is there's a time when dinner's ready, and if baby boy wants to eat, he's got to stop shooting people in a fake war zone. Cover me. I'm going to go see my burger bowl. I'm in the middle of a race here. It's, yeah, eat a fake burger boil, and that war coming here.

and eat with a real woman, you clown. Great. All really, all of that to him, problem solved. There's a pitch. We'll get there. We're just getting hot. I've got a pitch for you, if you want it. Break up with him and meet Gareth.

He's somewhere on the road right now. Bring a burger bowl. Eat Gareth is so hungry. Starving. It is a absolute nightmare. Here's what I would pitch. Just because maybe the schedule, whatever, you know what I mean, and baby boy, he's locked in there.

I agree. Why don't we, let's do some prison stuff and let's leave the plate of food outside of the door. And then when it's ready, you slide a green card under the door. So he'll be checking over there. And then when he sees the green card in the room, he knows it's time to open the door and get his little supper. No. That's a very good pitch, but no. Why?

Because we are making it more crazy. Here's the reality. Here's what I would do, Savannah. The food's in the kitchen. You do not bring him anything. You can tax him if you want him, but in terms of him being startled, you're not warning him.

You're not saying, hey, I know you're in the middle of the Amazon, saving the trees in your make-believe good world, you goober? but in the real world there's a woman who just made a plate of food you want some and maybe buddy maybe there's going to be some romance

if you get that little geek machine off your head I think okay that's fair I think you don't go to him with the food you don't go like this you know what you're not doing the airplane chugga chugga chew chew to make a little boy eat you're not going like this he's your meatbow

he's your meat bowl You're going like this. If you want a meat bowl and these meatballs, then you come in here and you get them. If not, eventually I might find somebody else to give this food to. I do think if he's in the middle of a jungle macheteing through to save people from some sort of. I can't eat right now.

There might be gold in them hills. I do think in a down moment, and I don't know much about gaming, but in a down moment, which I'm sure there is, have him come get his supper. You can even have put together the bowl for him and put some foil over it. And he goes in the microwave.

But he comes and gets it. His headset will work. I would also do a thing, Savannah, that you don't make him dinner on the nights he's gaming. You want to know why? Because if you're making dinner for him, you guys should eat together. That's so fair.

I have a pitch in that direction because I do think this is tilt. He's not going to like this pitch. No. I think you get a night where you're in that room doing something and he brings you dinner one night a week. I do love that. Yeah, but yeah, I like that too.

But look. He can do it with all of his buddies on a headset. They can all be cooking together for the women who are just dropping off lasagna for him for some reason. And they can all just be like, cool, I'm adding the Parmesan right now. Cover me. All right, cool. Gabe, set your oven to 375.

By the way, Steve Berg just felt this is his favorite video game. You think he likes shooter games? He's going to go like this. Jesus, Jesus, 375 is too hot. Oh, no. It's going to crisp the casserole. I'm burning the chicken. So, Savannah, here's my pitch to you.

You say, I talk to the guy. you're right it went sideways their proposal I have some bad news I have some bad news it went sideways they roasted you

in a big way it went sideways and it was not what I called about but they are now uncling me a little bit and saying that the adjustment I have to make is you're a grown man if you want to play video games

then play them but those nights I'm not feeding you or bringing you anything. And so anything you want, I'm happy, you know, while I make the meat bowls, I'll make an extra one. It's just going to be in the fridge when you're ready to eat it, eat it. And if I have something to give you rather than startling you, I'm just going to text you or I'll leave a note under the door.

But those days when you're in there, there's no contact between it. Then we're just roommates. in a house. Mm-hmm. And... Right, right, right. You know, but I want you to think them the way Connor has roommates.

That's just a 70-year-old Russian lady. Different lives. There's no link between you and this guy, those nights. Afterwards, if he's like, you should know, I murdered 42 people

in a war zone. That doesn't result in lovemaking. He didn't just get home from the war. He's not a hero. I'm ready for my burger bowl. I just killed bin Laden. Yeah.

Oh, Jesus Christ, I exhausted. My football team just won a playoff game. So we're in the FIFA championship. Is there any salt? The Burger Bowl is a little tasteless. Actually, and I can use some, I need to carve up. We got a big game later. My legs are sitting on my ass and my fingers are going to be moving.

He needs electrolytes for his thumbs. Oh, my God, my thumbs. I need to put him in ice. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. So, Savannah, this is gone obviously a little sideways. Yeah, where are you? What are you feeling? Okay.

Yeah. No, and I'm hearing you guys. I'm really hearing you. And I couldn't agree more. Like, I'm a feminist. I hate these traditional gender roles, me bringing my, you know, gamer boyfriend, his meal. I will say he does all the dishes.

I haven't touched a dish. You know, in two years, I haven't filled up my own water bottle in two years. So he's doing the work. Sure. And just as his light defense, I wouldn't think he's a gamer. I would say this is just a method to hang out with his long distance friends. He's a gamer. And if it wasn't for...

Savana, look at the mirror. He might not be gaining. And let's be honest. He's a gamer. You're dating a gamer. And that's okay. You love him. And I also...

Savannah. I need you to say it. I can't. I can't admit it. I need you to say, say, I am a feminist. And I bring my gamer boyfriend Burger Bulls. Go ahead. Guys, this is really hard for me.

This is ruining my reputation. Savannah, then go, I bring my boyfriend Burger Bowles, but sometimes I startle him because of his noise-canceling headphones, and he gets scared. This is a lot to memorize. You guys need to give me a script. Paraphrase it, put it in your own words. Let's just hear it, Savannah.

Okay, I'm dating a man who games, and I bring him food in sometimes. Call it a gamer. Mrs. Clinton, nice try. Mrs. Clinton, nice try. Yeah, don't you get fancy with these words. Come on now. Okay, I'm naming a gamer.

And I'm- Normal voice, not a character who's in a weird animated show. Yeah. You're a gamer. I'm giving you a gamer. Okay, okay. A gamer, I'm dating. Yeah, say it normal.

Go ahead. Okay. I'm dating a gamer and I bring him burger bowls and sometimes that scares him. Thank you. Okay. All right. So that's all right. Thank you for that.

Savannah. Okay. I do have, he did say one thing, one potential. And this is not something that we thought of until actually, I think one of his friends mentioned this after they found out that I was coming on this podcast. to absolutely rip him to shreds. But somebody mentioned a laser pointer. What is happening?

What are you talking about? A laser pointer? You just said again. She wants to have a little light to go like he's a cat. So he sees the red light and goes like this. Oh, that's my food light. Hey, guys, cover me. I'm going to go get my burger bowl.

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, get out of here. Not time for the laser light. I'm in a war. God damn it, you bitch. By the way, Savannah, he's, Deep in a war zone. He's probably going to think it's just like,

it's like a spot on it. He's going to get, ah. Okay, guys, I'm going in the tunnel. Fucking watch my six. Watch my six, Mickey. Shit, they're tracking me. They're here in real life. Oh, sorry.

Hold on. That bitch, Savannah's doing the light. Savannah, get out of here. I'm terrified. My mom is so annoying. Okay, guys, I'm back to Army crawling. Did you say my mom? Yes.

You know what this is? The boys are. in the basement playing Dungeons and Dragons and I'm trying to bring him hand sandwiches but unfortunately my son Sad gets so mad at me because I interrupt once he's fighting the dragon.

Hey boys I got your Capri's sons. Mom get out of here. I'm being chased by a goddamn dragon you bitch. I don't know if I've ever been more excited for comments on a call because I don't know what's coming our way. It's not going to be positive.

Okay. All right. Bob, got you see there's a warlock after me. By the way, here's what I want to add to the mix. He's got to say, he's got to say thank you, mom, when he grabs his supper and goes back into his little den of shooting. Red brazil light, got to go. Can you bring it a grape soda when you have a second, mom? Yeah, boys, put the trolls back under the bridge.

Got to eat meatballs. Hey, guys, for the next 10 minutes, let me know if you need me. I'm going to house this burger bowl real quick. This is crazy, Samana. Okay. You guys, like, I feel like our relationship was fine. I was getting minimal icks from him from this, and now it's like, you guys just going downhill. That's why I think one night a week, you get this room to yourself.

You get to put on something, and he brings you something. But do you want this room to yourself? That's the problem. I don't want that because this is our office technically. So it's like, I'm just going to sit at my work computer. I don't know. Here's what I think it is. Here's what I think it is.

And here's the real truth of what I think. If he wants to game, let him game. God bless. Yeah, no judgment, except for the past 30 minutes. But no, I mean, the only thing I don't like about it is him being served and getting scared while he's doing it. I agree. I think if you're in a relationship and somebody, then you're both happy? Great.

You called it because when you bring him his supper, he gets startled. So it's not the gaming. If he's like, hey, tonight I'm going to hang with my best friends. it's the way we stay in touch. So from basically seven until midnight, I'm kind of out of commission. You go like, fun. You could be out in a bar.

This is better. So you're doing your thing. Great. So I think those nights, you don't go in that room. You don't bring him anything. You don't do it. He's thoughtful enough gentleman

that you don't have to hear it. The noise cancelling is really nice. If you need to interrupt him, you can call him and maybe he's got a buzzer on his phone, which will definitely startle him because in a war zone, his buzzer would be off. But you just basically say, unless there's an emergency,

I'm not coming in. That is basically we are pretending we are not in the same space for those hours. So when you're cooking, you wouldn't cook two if you didn't live with them. Right. You make yourself dinner. you would sit in front of the television or the whatever you do,

you'd eat your meal, put your jammer's on, relax, have a glass of wine, go to bed. Wow, nailed it. Yeah, crazy. I think that's exactly right. And all the roasting is just because it's a shocking problem at first. Because of the startled. It's that he gets startled over his meals.

It's not, it's, no, but it's also, I'm roasting, Savannah. I agree. It's like you're rehabbing an animal on the do-do. No, Savannah. It's that you're going like this while he's playing. Excuse me. Here's your ham with no cross, baby, boy. Get out of here. Stop serving him while he's gaming.

Okay. Bottom line. At the end of the day, you're into it. He's doing the dishes. You've never filled your water bottle. You feel good about the equality level. I do think we've over catered, and now your boyfriend is going to leave the war zone when he has a break. He's going to go to the kitchen, slop his own food, bring it in there. You don't have to worry about a thing. That's the solution.

Right. Okay. Yeah, I guess his privileges are taken away. And he doesn't deserve that anymore. It's not even privy. The whole thing is privileged. It's just the cherry on top is going to be earned a little bit more. It's just not going to be served food while gaming.

Yes. The Lord is going to have to make a trip to the servants' quarters during the O' Important Battle. So this is actually a pitch for you, Savannah. Uh-huh. Nothing has to change with him. Nope. Right. Stay out of the war zone.

No girls. Okay. No girl alone. By the old, when he goes in there, he needs to put a sign on the door that says, no girls with a Z that's backwards, allowed. And the girls is underlined. Yes. By the way, he is in his room.

No girls allowed. I'll eat what I'm hungry. By the way, maybe that's what we would actually. Savannah, here's my pitch to you. Because you're going to want to go in there. You're going to want to serve baby boy. make sure his hair is tied up all right. It makes sure everything's perfect.

So let's do a thing. You make a sign that says, no girl's allowed. When he's in that room, you hang it on the door. Right. Remind myself. I'm not allowed.

So you go like this. Oh, you know what? I need to tell him that on three weeks on a Monday morning, we were thinking of doing that thing. I'm going to go in, no girls allowed.

No girls allowed. You know what? I just made these little cucumber things that are so good. He probably wants them. I'm good. Nope. No girls allowed. No girls allowed.

Savannah, will you make that sign and put it on the door? Yes, I will. We want a picture. Will you take a photo of it and then you'll know it's official? And will you hang it on the nights he's doing it? And guess what? He doesn't even have to know. It's got nothing to do with him.

You're not allowed in that room because no girls allowed. All right. I'll make a sign. I'll take a picture. I'll send it to you guys. All right. You feel good, Savannah? Yeah, you got it.

This is a great solution. Yeah, you guys really really saved my relationship here. Thank you so much. Savannah, now before we go, will you say, hi, my name is Savannah. I'm a feminist. I'm dating a gamer. I used to bring him dinner while he was in there,

but it startled him too much. So now I'm going to put up a sign that says no girls allowed so that he can game on his own. Put it in your own words. Just go ahead whenever you're ready. Thanks. Okay, okay. Hi, my name is Savannah.

I am a feminist and I'm dating a gamer as unlikely as it seems. And I'm not going to bring him his meals anymore because there's a sign that says no girls allowed and I respect the sign. Yeah. Perfect. You killed it. You killed it, Savannah. Tell this guy we said what's up. Thank you.

Or tell him I'll see him in the war zone later. Tell him my name is bad boy. Tell him my name is Bad Boy 19. No girls allowed. Tell him, Garrett's name is, get out of here, mom. Get out of here, mom.

Leave the cheese sticks. Tell him, I'll see him at the moat later when we storm the castle. Leave the cheese sticks. Monsorella sticks belong at the door, mom. For the love of God, my fingers will get all greasy if I eat that right now, you idiot, leave.

Are you nuts? A two-liter doctor pepper without a cup of ice? I'll figure it out. Just close a goddamn. door. I just close the goddamn door. Yeah, I'm going to tell him he got absolutely shredded in front of lots and lots of people. And he'll be thrilled.

Okay. Follow up. Getting mad at their mom is so funny. It's just over the night, like the mother's being angels. Here you go. I thought I would get to close the goddamn door. Savannah, thank you for the thought. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Quince.

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And lately I've done the short sleeve collared shirts. And I'll tell you why. I can wear it on the pod. I can wear it out socially to a lunch, easy. But I can also wear it to a business of it. I'm not kidding. I have a closet rack in my Honda Odyssey. This is getting sad, but I do, and it's just all Quince stuff.

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How's it going, guys? It's like where is it a counten of them? We were just like, where are the receipts? How are you doing, bud? What's your name? Good. My name's John. How are you?

John. How old are you, John? I am almost 38, and that's part of what I'm calling about. John, did you ever go by Johnny? When I was a child, but not in the last probably 35 years now. Okay, buddy. Where are you called from, John? I'm calling from the Twin Cities, Minneapolis.

Oh, my God. The Twin Cities. I'm going to say top five city. I agree. Top five. I'm a transplant. I love it all. It's the best.

So underrated. All right, John, 38, Minneapolis. What can we do? Yep. All right. So I've got one that I hope is, well, hope it's not something you guys have gone to, but I hope you might have some expertise on. As I said, I'm almost 38.

I'm married. I'm a dad. I live out in the burbs. I've got a job all the normal yada yada stuff. but my hobby, my fun thing is I play in a punk band. I've been a musician my whole life. And we're pretty active. Like we write songs, we play shows.

A lot of fun. And as I'm starting to push 40, as I'm getting old and shitty, I've had to start scheduling chiropractor appointments after my shows. By the way, not punk rock. After practices. Not punk. No, decidedly unpunk. But like, you know, I'm not going to headbang.

I'm not going to not jump around during the shows. You got to take care of the spine, brother. I love that he's jumping around still. Well, he got a poke band. Then he's go to the car. I get this. Yeah, that's it. So my problem is, and really to boil it down,

I do want to take care of my spine. I'm trying at least, you know, the after-the-fact stuff, but I'm not going to, like, do yoga in the green room at a shitty dive bar or something. I get this. I'm wondering, what can I do other than, like, drink a couple beers and hope for the best before I play. You can do yoga. But by the way, you just offended Gary.

You can do yoga. First of all, John. And he's a touring stand-up. I chose my words on purpose. I know what I said. Nothing wrong. That's a punk rock response. Nothing wrong with a little yoga.

But okay, we're on your team. If you want to shame yoga, it's only thousands of years old. So, John, this is interesting. So the, let me just boil it down because this is pretty Clayne. You were a punk rock guy when you were younger, you were in a band. What instrument do you play? I play bass in this band. Cool. And what's the name of the band? Do you care telling us? Yeah, I happily. We're called Rock Barbosa, R-O-C-Barboza. Rock Barboza. And what's the significance of that? I have no idea.

One of the other guys came up with it before I joined the band. Cool. So Rock Barboza and you guys play around the dive bars in the Twin Cities area? Yep, I've got a show tomorrow night, so this timing is perfect. Fuck, yeah. And so when you and you guys rehearse a lot, and how serious is the band? Because there's two kind of bands as you get older. And it's the same thing with like, like, and our connection is, you know, when Gareth and I first started, we were in a bunch of sketch comedy groups and comedy troops.

So you're in a group, you're in an improv troupe. At first, everyone takes it really seriously. you're rehearsing multiple nights, you think like, man, we might be on NBC, dude, HBO might buy this. And you might be the state, man, you might be Mr. Show. And then, you know, it starts to fade a little bit. And then some people go off and leave and other people stick around. And then there's the people who are in their late 30s and 40s who are still doing, you know, the improv shows and it's four guys in a group called like, you know,

Eric Edelston and I were in a group with us two and these two women called Coombs. cookies and cream. God damn improv team names are just, it's like a fetish. It's so fucking, it's like potato salad. Yeah. Mom's coleslaw. Mom's coleslaw.

And so, you know, we could still be in cookies and cream, grind in it out, but then there is the moment when you go, this is never going to hit, right? But I still love this. Is Rock Barbosa, are you guys still thinking maybe there's a touring life ahead of you? Maybe there's a record deal, but you got kids in a job.

So for you, are you like, this is just a fun Friday night and one night a week of rehearsal, or where's your head at with it? Yeah, great question, man. I would say somewhere in between. I mean, in my younger days, 15 years ago, I was, like, in a signed band toward the country in a van with three other. So I've kind of had that life already. I'm like, I'm married.

I've got kids. I've got a mortgage. I'm very happy. Hey, man. But at least your van's bigger than mine. That's true. But keep going, John. That's cool.

No. Yeah, but no, no delusions of grandeur, Jake. I mean, we've done it. We've all got families and kids and careers and stuff. Some of the bands we play with are like a little younger than us. And so another reason I don't want to be like the lame old dude at the show. But, no, you know, we practice like once a week. We play shows.

We write our own music. It's an active thing. But, yeah, no dreams of it's a big. Okay. Then I got real advice. What do you got? You got to lean into being the old man. Because there's nothing lamer. And I say this.

That's why I started a few years back leaning into the fact that I'm an old man. There's nothing lamer than pretending you're not something that everybody knows you are. And I'm going to tell you why. Yeah. Your back does hurt. You might be balding. Your body doesn't look as good in the tight clothes anymore. you've had way too many chicken nuggets with those kids.

You've eaten too many of their junk food right before you throw it out. Your body's changed. You're a different guy. Those guys are 24 years old smoking cigs and doing drugs and sleeping with anybody and everybody and doing these great shows. God bless them.

They're living a cool life. That's not your life. But you're in it for the love of the game. so what's actually punk rock as an older guy is doing the gareth and doing yoga in the green room to protect your back and then when you get on stage fucking rocking out

so that the young people go I gotta say that basis is so good they go you know he fucking toured man he was in a signed band he's the real deal so let the art be the art but not be the lifestyle I got a pitch too that can coincide with that

go ahead I think you guys should write a song called John has got a bad back. It should be a biographical punk song about how you love to rock still. But, you know, it's like you could, I could definitely hear sex pistily lyrics about John has got a bad back. John has got a bad back. Something like that. And I honestly think that could be a word.

to get it. You may be some sort of care, but I think Jake's right. I think lean into it, and I think you could write a good little tune about how you have a bad back. You want to rock. You still do,

but John is going to bad back. And I'll go one further. You could lean into it, and your punk stage name could be Johnny Badback, and you could wear like a prop brace. I will play. We probably pass on that last bit. I don't think you're going to catch me in a back brace.

Yeah, I don't know what it's not meant there. But, you know, of course, I think the broader lesson and message of leaning into getting older as I'm pushing 40, I think that's pretty reasonable. But I still don't know, like, you know, I'm not asking for stretching advising, but what I'm not going to, you know, bring a yoga mat. So I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make that even sort of cool while I hold on to my last shred of old man Van der. Man, I'll tell you what, I'm friends with this Randy Bly, the guy who gave me my coffee mug that says Gary's mug. He's the lead singer, Lamb of God. He, before shows, it is legitimately a warm-up for him to do what he does.

I mean, he's my age. He's maybe a little younger. And for him to do what he does, he warms up his voice. He warms up his body. The whole band, I mean, they really take it fucking seriously. Like, it happens in all these things. If you're doing like live shows, this idea that, you know, you got to have a couple beers before you go out there and all that. Like, you're there for fucking entertainment of other people.

So there's nothing wrong for you to take it seriously and actually do some fucking yoga for you to, uh, you know, do any warm up that you feel right doing. There's nothing fucking weird about that. So, you know, it might feel anti-punk because maybe you're sharing. a green room with some younger bands or something, but they're going to be 38 too. And I would, honest to God, I would just write a song about how John has got a bad back. That justifies everything that goes on before the show.

I think writing that song is pretty reasonable. I don't know if we're going to fake the British accent, though, and that's no offense to. It's nothing. There's nothing offense. I mean, I'll tell you what I would do here, John, is I would, and it's not the funny pitch, but I would fully lean into being the old man band.

I like old man punk band. You have to be old old, but like... Pushing 40 in a punk band by nature is not punk. Think of Steve Jones. By the way, you're supposed to be dead by now. True. I'm surprised I made it this far, man. Yeah, so, I mean, I'm surprised I'm still alive.

So at a certain point, you've got to go, all right, well, I'm also not drinking a thousand fucking beer. and a bottle of vodka because you go, I changed. So you still love the art form. So now I would say everything about you guys besides the show, lean in. I'll tell you what I'm sitting on right now, John.

Oh, God, you still are. A yoga ball. John. Bring a foam roller, John. John, look, Jake's going to show you now. He's sitting. on an exercise ball, one of those big, weird, inflatable fuckers. I'll tell you why, I used to have a super cool one, a chair back here that was that leather chair with it.

Yeah. It was fucking awesome. You know what happened? My back was hurting because I was sitting too much. You got to do the yoga. So here's what I want you to do, John. Lean into the fact that you're 38 years old. I want you in the green room laying on your back with your legs up. All right.

You know, like a professional athlete when, you know, an 19-year-old kid, they're eating McDonald's before the game and then dropping 40, and then you see, like, Grant Hill, and he's in, like, nine different tubs and getting eight massages before every game. And there's a guy stretching him. All that matters is when the game starts to the game finishes. Yep. So if you're literally back there doing weird poses and they're laughing at you,

let them laugh. Yeah. Have a great show. Once that fucking base starts ripped They go like Okay great And then after the show Before you go home

Go like I'm doing 40 minutes Of stretches in the green room So my back doesn't seize up In the car right home They'll be there They will be there one day I think Yeah

I think that's Very good advice I don't know that I'm bringing a yoga ball I think a foam roller Or something like that Is very feasible Foam rolls A tennis ball

And do it against a wall Oh a cross ball Yeah But lean I would say Here's the punk rock move Don't do it subtly And don't do it in like

a hallway and hide. Front and center. I agree. If someone doesn't like it, fuck off, you little twerk. Yeah, that's a good point. I agree. Move your fucking ass, you little, little weasel. I'm stretching here.

Okay, I mean, well, you can be... We're talking about punk rock. Yeah, we are, sure. Yeah, a little confrontation isn't bad. Not in punk rock. Hey, get your fucking boots off that. Why? And they go, what's your problem?

I'm about to put my fucking... roll there and stretch my lower back because it's tight. I'm like to move your fucking steel tip boots, you little bunk. I'm putting my yoga mat there to do some deep stretches. I need to sit up an exercise ball. Start playing on an exercise ball. John has got a bad back. Don't hate John. He's got a bad back.

So what do you think, John? It's not the most fun advice, but it is real. Yeah, no, I think that the idea of leaning in is probably a message that I need to hear in a lot of different ways. So I appreciate that. A foam roller, I think, is something I could grab before my show tomorrow night so I can bring it and try it out. The song, probably not. I just, I don't know if that one will work out. Yep.

Someone else will write it. It's going to get written. Yeah, all right. You can feature on the song when we recorded. If you write it, we'll record it with you. Fucking done. Done, that'll never happen. That's as much of a Steve Berg moment as I've ever heard.

I think it could happen. All right, John, we appreciate the call, brother. Thanks, John. Yeah, thanks for letting me know. Appreciate the info. Hello. Hello. Hi there, follow up.

What's your name? This is Mitch. Mitch, Mitch, Mitch. What was the first call, Mitch? I called about the parent that had the laser pointer at my daughter's taekwondo class. Oh, Mitch. This is exciting. Mitch, walk us through what the original problem was for those who are lazy and don't want to go back to listen, but they should.

Disgraceable. And then what we pitched and what you did and where we're at. So my daughter's taekwondo class, when the kids are all outside, waiting for. for the class to start. There's been a parent with a laser pointer and he'll shine it on some of the kids and then he's like, I don't have a laser pointer and there's been a couple times

where I had told him, you know, put the fucking thing away and he's like, I don't have a laser pointer, nobody's got one here. So I emailed the jackass, yes. I emailed the taekwondo place and they were like, well, what's his name? I'm like, what does it matter?

what his name is, look for the idiot with the laser points. Tell him to knock it off or I'll do something. So then I was like, you know what? I'm going to email these guys and I'm going to call them and I'm going to talk to you guys because you guys had some wonderful insights. Okay, and I remember what we landed on, but why don't you tell everyone what we landed on and then why don't you let us know what happened? Great.

So what we discussed was, and the one that I thought was, yes, We're doing that. We're going forward with it. Was purchasing a bunch of laser pointers for the kids and put them in a bucket. And all the kids get laser pointers. Either everybody gets a laser pointer or nobody gets a laser pointer. So I ran that one by my wife. And she said, you are absolutely fucking not doing that.

Wow. So I was like, dang. You got to love high. And she said, we're like friends and like the wife's like the mom. We were in the tree house coming up with this laser pointer thing. Mitch goes to his wife and our whole call goes down the drain. But I don't understand why she would say no to that, Mitch. Well, you know, just a bunch of six to 13 year olds burning retinas of the children.

You know, they're up shining it on each other and not the dude. So then she said, what other ideas were there? And I said, well, Jake said, what if I got a high loom in flashlight? And she goes, Nick Miller coming in clutch. Okay. So I got it all lined up. One of my buddies has one of those flashlights that it has a convex or conclave lens. So if you get the lens mixed up and you shine it like on like black paper, it'll start a fire.

Jesus. So that's the flashlight by the gram. By the way, by the way, first of all, laser pointers, fire flashlight. And I will say, Mitch, you are coming in a little bit more aggressive this call. Don't hurt anybody. Yeah, let's not turn this magnetet pure fire. This is a movie problem. Okay, go.

This does not end how I wanted it to end. So, yeah. So talk to you guys the day after went to class. The Choate's not there. Like, where is he? What's going on? So I'm assessing the situation. I'm like, you know what?

I'm just going to go ahead and I'm going to do the flashlight. The next day comes, he's not there. again. So I was like, what the hell is going on? So I go to the instructor and I say, so where's, where's, uh, where's this dad at? And they go, well, he came on an off day and his son was tired of his bullshit and started yelling manchild, manchild, that's not my father, that's a man child. So the guy's like, what do you do? As humiliating as it gets. Can you imagine your child yelling, child, magic? Mine? Yeah, I could imagine that. Is you kidding me?

That's why I'm getting a second. Stop pointing the freaking laser pointer. Yeah. He said this. Whoa. So they were finally like, oh, wow, this kid really means business. He's disowning his father. So they pulled him aside.

And they were like, hey, you know, there's been some parents that have emailed and they wanted to follow up with me on the Tuesday that I went. I dipped out too quick. They're like, hey, there's been parents and also now with your son just flipping shit, this has got to stop. So he's like, so they're like, they told him that he is gone for two weeks. He is not allowed to come in at all. He can drop his son off, but he cannot come in to watch practice.

Period. So they weren't playing. Mitch, Mitch, Mitch. Mitch. Mitch, you said that didn't work out how you wanted. This is perfect. I mean, I wanted to shine him in the face. I wanted to blind him, Mitch, Mitch, that's a you thing.

That's too aggressive. Get the eagle out of here. Brew. All we wanted was the lasers to stop. And they stopped. And you didn't have to start a man on fire with a flashlight that your wife approved as opposed to having laser pointers in kids' hands. So that could have gotten you in trouble,

gotten you involved in a world you didn't want to be in. This guy's obviously got some stuff going on at home, and now it has nothing to do with you. Problem solved. The academy's fixing it. The laser pointers are done. Our pitches didn't help at all, but it's a win. It's a win.

It's not a bell ring, but it's a win. It is a bell ring. It is a bell ring. Because you called it with a problem, and the problem's over. My cat just, that scared the shit out of my cat. But Mitch, this is a big win, bud Perfect

It's a good outlook I mean, I just wanted to blind him But I appreciate your guys What Jake's saying What Jake's saying is There's no evidence tracing you to the crime This is way better This is like setting up on a rooftop

With your assassin's rifle Only to find out the guy Had a heart attack earlier that day Exactly right Or when you're right about to shoot He has a heart attack in front of you And you go like, huh? and a paramedic watchman.

He's pronounced dead. Big win. It's over. Perfect. Yeah. So thank you for the follow-up. Congrats. If he comes back and does the lasers,

the academy's going to handle it. You don't bring that flashlight. Don't be the problem now. No. Because the only thing that could happen now, Mitch, is you could lose. And that is he comes back and you're like, fuck you, dude.

You're like, whoa, Mitch is weird. The kid did the work for you. It's, it's, you've, you actually lucked out. Yeah. This is a win, Mitch. It's over. I'll take it. It's over.

Yep. Get out of the hole, brother. It's over. The war's done. Thank you guys. Come home. Jake and I are hugging you right now. If we're in person, there's a hug, and Jake, like Jake's like, come home, bitch.

But what I'm worried about, and this is what I say to your ear, I'm worried about you. I'm going like right now, the war is over, man. Come home. This should be where you, you fight a little. and then you stop fighting and you start weeping in Jake's shoulder. That's what should be happening right now. And where are you at with that? Man, I got goosebumps.

I got goosebumps. Okay, good. So, Mitch, is the war over? The war is over. I'm coming home. Mitch, Mitch, is the war over? The war is fucking done, Gareth. Yeah.

Come home, Mitch, done. Come on home. Come on home, Mitch. and I have a parade. Goodbye, Mitch. Thank you for the call. Mitch, hold on. Now I was born on the 4th of July.

You're going to come home but realize the whole country's wrong. Mitch, just, yes, it's over. Okay. All right, we're getting out of here. Mitch, thank you for the call. This is a big win. Thanks, Mitch. All right.

Thank you guys. Bye. Bye. friend, aka little gamer baby boy. I have a couple of things to say. One, when she told me what she was going to send to you guys, I told her exactly how you guys were going to respond, because I know exactly how it sounds.

She said after the recording that it was worse than what she thought, but it was exactly how I thought it was going to go down. Just wanted to put that out there. Two, I was totally fine with Savannah Scaring. me. It was a small price to pay for a delicious burger bowl being delivered to me while I gain. I understand how it looks. And I wasn't going to fight it, but she was always apologizing to me every time she scared me. And I was just like, I don't care. That's just how my body reacts. And three, I think we're just going to keep doing the old system because she's developed

a little baby boy gamer boy kink. And I think we're going to be going to be going to keep that up. So thank you guys. Take out the last part. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help,

you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim production. executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecky. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to garethrenolds.com.

Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. I'm dating a gamer. And I bring him burger bowls, and sometimes that scares him. That was a hate gum podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown.

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes.

A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.