We're Here to Help - 297: Longboard Library Ladder & What's Up, Doc? (with Kiarra Hamagami Goldberg)

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

Kiarra Hamagami Goldberg joins Jake and Gareth to help a caller go full Beauty and the Beast. Then, they reel in a big tuna.Watch Jake and Kiarra on Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed, now streaming on AppleTV+Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. And we are back, Jake. Well, this is not a we are back. This is an ad. No, this is an intro. Look at you. Then we've really flipped.

You're a real me. You have been really dry. You know, I was thinking about you late last night, Gareth? This is a great start. I've been impressed with you. Jake. I really like the shifting in our dynamic. And then I was thinking, well, you and I were talking,

and you're like, we've both always been the same type. Yes. And you're like, I always do what you do in most of my relationships. and now I'm seeing it and I'm like take the reins big daddy I thought that about you I genuinely was like when we first started I was like I've never seen anything like this guy

I was like it's crazy well G are back at you and I have been as we've talked about the evolution and the changing of this show is that we are on our own journey we hope the audience stays with us but it is fun for us and this phase man I am really liking the garrar Reynolds era.

Well, we'll see. You snipped your testicles. You took away the ability to have kids. Yeah. And you have really become the father of the podcast. I was just going to say, the pod became the kid. The pod became the baby. This is what we were all waiting for if you accidentally knocked up some girl at like a gas station outside of like...

Highly likely. There was 15 years where that was a highly likely possibility. that Gareth gets the old call where he's like, hey y'all, this is Stacy. Oh, shit. There's a little ginger that just popped out of me. It's got a perm. I don't have red hair. No, perms are not genetic.

I didn't even have one. Goodbye, Stacy. It's wearing a little vest. He got from Target. Well, this is sounding a little more like it might be mine. By the way, I'll try to fit in that. I'll try to fit in that little vest. That's what it said.

It got out and made a joke about trying to fit back into that. little vest. It came out, it did the Ace Ventura waft in sign and said, it was woo me in there. Something like that. We don't even need to do DNA. That one's mine. Yeah, it also had a little handheld microphone. Yeah, well, yeah. Where are you from? What do you do? That's the first words. Turns around to the mom. Where are you from? What do you do an instant crowd work, y'all? This one's yours. Hacky crowdwork. Hacky crowdwork. Not organic, just stiff. We're here to talk about maximum pleasure guaranteed, which is out there. Yeah, that's what we're going to do on this one.

And our guest today is Kiara Goldberg. She's on the show. She's great on the show. The show is, you were on Kimmel promoting the show. Yeah, so the show is on, it's currently on Apple. I highly recommend, I ask everybody to watch it. We are going to have a bunch of the great cast from that show are going to join us. Kara's great.

She's also so funny in our show. She and Charlie Hall really pop on that maximum pleasure guaranteed. They have a great arc together.

It's just a great show. I hope everybody in this base checks it out on Apple. And also, if you just turn it on. Yeah. Because the way

the metrics work now is they literally count hours of streams. Let's ask this. Now, the Nielsen rating box used to be the way. No, that's exactly right.

The dumbest. What is weirder? Which system is... Because the truth is, you can't really figure it out properly. But the Nielsen one was crazy. They would send strangers a box to just basically say what they watched, and that would count as 100,000 people or some shit. Was that based off a guy whose last name was Nielsen?

I believe so. Did, like, Jerry Nielsen create the Nielsen box to then just give it his family name? Yeah, it must be. I would think it was. Yeah, it was a meter. Yeah, they would send you a literal black box. Incredible. But now, but you're right, it is so strange now.

So people should just put it on, but you're going to want to watch it. Honestly, it's a good show. Yeah. So, you know, I am not the lead of the show. Tatiana Maslani is I've never seen somebody who does, you know, you and me are such sweaty actors. And what I mean by that, like our whole group is. and that is, we can't believe we've been invited to the circus and we sure like the circus streets

and please don't kick us out of the circus. We're all Willie Lohman. Oh. And that is every single take I'm going to do is going to really try to be usable and hopefully you got what you want. If you need something else, let me bang my head into a concrete wall.

Without question. Don't forget, I'm the guy who jumped out of the window. Broke my pinky. That's exactly right. Remember the dog bit my ass? Right. Same day. I was playing, I had broken my pinky, you and Evan were playing basketball.

I was watching you like a kid with a cast on my arm from like a window during summer. And so when you guys went inside to go do stuff, I started dribbling the basketball and there was this little dog outside. And so I was kind of boxing the dog out and kind of playing. And the dog literally. Who were you showing off for? Nobody. There's no way you were boxing out the dog alone, Garrett. That's not accurate.

I was like just like having a, this was one minute. And there are a bunch of hot girls up top. It doesn't matter. But the dog jumped up, bit my ass, and I was like, oh, that's smarts. And I did what I never thought I'd do is I put my hand on my back to check for blood, and there was blood. So I had to come back in, and everyone was like, how's the finger? And I was like, fingers okay.

My bottom's bleeding. Everyone was like, this guy's. Talk about Willie Lohman would look at me and be like, this is pathetic. Anyway, Kiara Goldberg, great guest. maximum pleasure guaranteed go on it's on apple right now go watch it like jake said just watch it but for whatever reason you have an aversion just put it on don't be did you say did you say after a dog bit your ass that's smarts that's merch brother that's smarts you know how neilson created the thing so if you ever anybody gets hurt whenever you're by yourself if you

like stub your toe say out loud that's smart and then if any Anybody looks at you go, I had to do the Reynolds technique. I had to pull a Reynolds back there. The Reynolds is saying that's smart after an injury. And you're allowed to do that alone. So if you get hurt alone, go, ah, that's smart. Then go, that Reynolds technique. It helps.

I'm going to be following ridiculousness on MTV with that smarts. Ridiculousness. What a show that was. Enjoy. Without further ado, enjoy the show. Everybody check out our show on Hulu. It drops a day early. And there's also back.

episode. That's right. So we're here to help is now on Hulu a day early. If you want to listen to the back catalog, we're dropping those from season one and season two. It's just join us. Let's go. News episode of the podcast is brought to you by booking.com.

Buddy. It's great. It's easy to use. You just had, you just have, where you're staying. You just say, I, I can't help but imagine that if you, you just had Eve going on a cross-country trip with a man named Rick.

And I used booking.com to book Rick and Eve. I mean, that is just, you know what my brother and I have started calling, as of this mother, Chopper 5 called me this morning. And we talked to 45 minutes and I was cry laughing. Absolutely. Honestly, it was the hardest I've laughed, I think, in over 12 months. He was on such fire this morning. We are, we're referring to Eve now is Miss Evie. Good.

And he was doing a voice of what Miss Evie likes and what Miss Evie doesn't like. Gareth, it was good. And I'll tell you, Miss Evie doesn't like Rick. No. Miss Eve, no like Rick. Is she still holding a grudge to Rick who drove her across the country? Yeah, it's still coming up. Yeah.

Kind of. It comes out. The new grudges of me. Miss Evie's not happy with Jake. She's. I'm the new. Rick. Why? I'm too controlling. Oh, my God. Well, it's nice to be controlling. Like, when you use booking.com, it's important. Listen, you got, you got kids you're traveling with. You got your

parents you're traveling with. Whatever you're doing, let's say you want a big kitchen. Let's say your friend with a Lisp talked to big game, even though his S has sounded like T.Hs, and he says that he can cook you a great meal. So you're getting a booking.com so that you can have a competition to prove that he doesn't know what he's talking about, and he's just out of his mind. All things you can do, If you want a vacation home, you want a hotel, you want a rental, whatever you want, you can get it at booking.com. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com, booking. Yeah, book today on the site or in the app. Zazzle. Zazzle, Jake. We're brought to you by Zazzle. It's basically Zazzle is a custom marketplace where you can take basically any product, a mug, a tote bag, a phone case, and make it mean.

something. I have to say, I'm shocked we have not used Zazel for this show yet. Now that we are reading this ad together, you can make custom mugs, tote bags, cards, phone case, and send it to something. We've had so many people, like we've made hats. So the woman who had cancer, why the stink eye? Yep. So browse millions of designs or start from scratch and build something completely your own. Either way, you're the designer. Everything is made on demand. So there's no out of stock. Pick it. customize it done. Over 30 million customers have trusted Zazzle with their most important gift. Yours is next.

Maybe we should comedically use Zazzle because I know we both got a code. We could get prep for the Steve Berg cooking competition and make two Zazel mugs. We could make a winning Zazzle mug and a losing Zazzle mug. Yes. I have an idea, Gareth. Side competition with Zazzle. You do, you make some stuff. I'll make some stuff.

We'll present it that night. Let's each make one, a couple things for the cooking competition through Zazel. And right now, save 25% off your first order at Zazel.com. That's 25% savings on your first order at Zazzle.com. Go make something amazing zazzle.com. This episode of the show is brought to you by Butcher Box. Grilling season is finally here. And let's be honest, the difference between a good cookout and a great one comes down to the quality of meat.

I actually agree with that. I agree. You go to a cookout and the food is medium. Yes. And they're like, dude, you want a sausage? And I realize they have trash sausage. I'm like, I'm not eating homeboy. I'm very careful about what I'll eat.

Yeah. I didn't used to be. Yeah, but that's what's great. I mean, it is premium responsibly sourced meat right to your door. You got a grill, Jake? What do you got? Yeah, I do have a grill. I got a grill.

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Hey, Gilly, anything to take us out? Well, I'll tell you what, Jake. Over the years, it feels like grilling is a way to connect. Food is a way of expressing love. That's what Steve Berg's always said. Thanks so much, Gil. Take care. Hello.

Hello? Hi, how are you? Good, how are you? Good, welcome to the show. Can we get your name, please? Yes, it's Anna. Anna. Anna, where are you calling from?

Seattle, Washington. Beautiful. That's cool. That is cool. How old are you, Anna, roughly? I am 33. Perfect. Well, Anna, not going to lie to you.

It's not just Jake and I. So get ready. We have not going to lie. We have from the hit Apple show. Well, not yet hit. It comes out soon to be hit. It's out somewhere. It's out somewhere.

No, not yet. That's the way I like to look at it. Not yet. No, no, it's out. And we have Kiara Goldberg from the show, Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed here. Karen, will you tell Anna a little bit about our show Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed coming Wednesday, May 20th on Apple? What do we got here?

We, it's a comedic thriller. There is murder. There is soccer moms. There is Cam Boys. There's Jake Johnson. There's me and all of our friends. I'm pretty good pitch, actually. I like it.

I did too. Murder soccer moms and camboys. By the way. Yeah. That's actually kind of a clean pitch. Anna, what is going on today? What can we help you with today? So I'm needing help with a issue between my kids.

husband and I last year for my birthday I asked him to build me a library and he did and then I asked to have a rolling ladder put in because what girl who has a library doesn't want a rolling ladder and he gave me a ton of excuses as to why we couldn't have a rolling ladder but his biggest thing was is that I'm really clumsy and he's worried that I'm going to fall off this ladder and break my face like he did so Okay. So there's some logistical questions. Is there anything else you want to get out there before we start asking how big your library is?

So, and his solution I would say was to just get me a step stool, which, in my opinion, is just as unstable as a ladder. And I cannot reach the top of the library shelf with the stool. So, yeah. All right, Anna, do we have any photos of this library? I did not send any in, no. How big is it? It's not super big. It's probably a medium-sized room.

It's its own room. That's what I was going to ask. Okay. Things are good. Well, first of all, this is, I mean, let's give a little, what are we calling your husband here? His name is Tristan. Tristan. So Tristan built you a library in your home?

Yeah, well. He did, yes. All right. Well, that's cool. And so when you see, yeah, go ahead. No, I'm just curious. Is that, so the issue is, yes, library promise was kept, ladder promise was not. That's what we're talking about?

Okay. I think so, yes. And then the specific question going off of that is what? How do we get him to give you a ladder? Yes, exactly. Are you, when you talk about a ladder, are you talking about one of those old-schooly-wheely duty ladders? Yes, yes. Library ladder.

And I got to say Anna is dead right. If you have a library in your house, you need one of those ladders that connects and you can, yes. Yeah. That is its own level. You get on the side. You do like the leg push like you're on a scooter and you just go around. That's exactly right. When you say your husband broke his face, what do you mean?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So we were longboarding because that's what we do. And he went down a hill way too fast and lost control and slapsed. and slammed on the pavement and broke his face. Walk me through what longboarding is. I thought that was surfing and then you said hill. It's like a long skateboard.

Oh, it's longscapeboard. It's fucking crazy. Okay, so he will let you longboard down hills, but he doesn't trust you on a ladder in your own home reaching for a book? Yep, pretty much. So he hurt himself. Where does you being clumsy come? Like, did you break your face?

It's a good question. No. Thanks. I've just fallen. You know, yeah, I'm just clumsy. Okay. Hold on. Something's not adding up for me on this gumbo.

So, there we go. You know, we're chefs here. Right. I'm not one of those chefs who's a science, the science guy. Right. You're not a science chef. I'm going to throw the salt and pepper it and then put my finger into gumbo and taste it. Measure with your heart.

Measure with my heart. So your husband and you longboard downhills, he's cool with that. Yes. He fell off, smashed up his face. Correct. You said to Tristan, I want a library. He said, you got it, girl. He built you a library in your house in Seattle.

Then you said, I want one of those cool ladder things. He said, no. I'm going to give you a little stepping ladder. And he goes, why? And he goes, because you're clumsy. And then he goes, all right, let's go longboard down this big hill. hill together? Yeah.

This gumbo don't taste right. Why would he let you go on a little board with wheels, but not on a ladder with wheels that's stationary, that's connected to a wall to reach for a goddamn book? Anna, what's happening here? What are we missing in this story? Yeah. I know. I mean, honestly, I think he's just worried because I can longboard totally fine.

I'm really good at it. But I think just even like walking around the house, I will trip over nothing. Like there will be nothing on the floor and I just trip on my feet. So I think that's where his concern comes from. So tell them, name the ladder the long board. It's got wheels on it. You're better on wheels. That's good.

That's good. How did I like it? Like a long board in the library? Yeah, I like that. That's a good idea. That's good. I think that the long board and there, like, there are probably so many things that you do that are more dangerous than the ladder.

So what I'm hearing is that it's the like the mundane that we're worried about you getting hurt on. But argument to be made, you standing on your tiptoes to try and reach a really high book. Just as dangerous. More dangerous than a ladder because the ladder is meant to help you retrieve something up high that you can't reach. Yeah. Anna, walk me through what he has said. What's his logic here? He, well, so his biggest thing is the shelves aren't totally like into the wall.

I don't know, like bolted in. So I think he's worried there. You're going to pull on something and pull the whole library down. Exactly, yes. Yeah. And I think that's probably his biggest thing. And then he also said they're expensive too, like the ladders are. Okay.

So, Anna, the gumbo's tasting a little bit better now. Yeah. There's a flavor. Anna, did he change after his longboard face smash? You mean physically or emotionally? Did he become more paranoid about accidents? Yes, yes, yeah. Ooh.

And when did this injury happen? It's been three years ago. Does he look different? No, no. He came back. to turn his nose. Like he had to reshape his nose himself.

That's what the doctor told him to do. Who hasn't? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. But this is starting to get a little bit more interesting because Anna, what I'm leaning towards, and this is a man who builds some stuff on my own,

is he's not worried about you. You're the excuse. Because if he lets you longboard, right? Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. He doesn't want you pulling on that library because it's a goddamn house of cards because he knows he didn't do a great job with it. I think there's a job with that.

Absolutely. But once you're on a ladder, if you start to fall, you reach for something, you just pull. And all of a sudden he's like, I'm telling you, I did an okay job. Yeah. But this can't sustain the weight of a woman falling off a ladder. Well, there's also, like I got my mother one of those weird, remember when you were a kid you had that little, like, claw grabby thing? I got my mother one of those, and she loves it.

It's psychotic, but she loves it. But that is the logistical solution, but you're looking for... She wants the solution to be the latter, though, right? That's exactly right. I have a pitch. And it's not a lie. My pitch, Anna, is that you start building the worst wheelie library ladder in the history of library ladder. You're taking matters into your own hand, and when he looks at it, he sees a brink.

broken face for sure. So he has to step in with a safer library ladder. That's a pretty good pitch. That's really good. That's really good. So you're in there hammering away, putting wheels on and you're going, I don't think they need to be the same kind of wheel. Like, it's fine.

It can look like one of those old-timey bikes, you know, where it had the big front, the small back. You know what you could also do, Garrett? I like this pitch a lot. You could go on Craigslist and say you are looking to, to buy a homemade library ladder and start telling him a bunch of different builders have thrown ideas out at you and you're excited about him. Yep. Make him get a little insecure. He'll want to be the one to build it. Threatening. Yeah, because you're

like, well, I built the library. Right. Well, the loose library. Yeah, you could also say, you could also say that you've sent some pictures to these Craig lists builders and their flagging the library a little bit. Oh. You know, I think that we're saying is make him feel a little more insecure like he has to take matters into his own hands and fix it. Step up. Yeah.

I like that. I like it a lot. And I think it could work, too. I do think it would work. So walk us through how it could work in. I think he would just be like, yeah, no. I'm not letting some random person build you a ladder or you're not going to be building a ladder on your own. Like, I'm going to do that because he does take pride in the fact that he built this library for me.

So I think him building the ladder himself to the way he likes it, it will just, it will spark that in him to want to do it, I think. Yeah, here's a classic one too. Do you have the footstool ladder currently in there? Yes. fall off it. You definitely can fake it. I have actually already. I've fallen off it a couple of times.

Yeah, no, but I mean, fall off it. I've fallen and I can't get up, lady fall. Get a neck brace because it's not, and then say, I need something that is connected to the wall because I started reaching. By the way, who is reading books on this level? I mean, this is a, you are looking to get top shelf. books how regularly. I read a lot of books.

How fast of a reader? Honestly. Did he use the ladder to put the books on the top shelf? Good question. No, because he's tall enough. He's calling us. I'm just short. Again, I love how, look, you're quite studious.

That's great. If I had a library, here's one thing you'd never hear from me. I need to get a book. Why not keep asking him to go in there and get the top shelf book for you? That's a great idea. And then when he starts getting into, that could be the chronology. You're getting him in there to go grab the books.

He gets annoyed. That's it. I went on Craigslist. I'm hiring a builder or I'm building the ladder myself. And it's going to look janky as shit. Oh, I like that approach, actually. Because he gets sick of getting the books. Yeah.

Yeah. I like that approach. Every day, you're like, honey, can you get the almanac? Take a long board and take duct tape and put a ladder and duct tape it to a long board. Okay. And then he's going to go, what are you doing? And you're going to go, it just gives me a little bit more height. And then literally get like a stack of dictionaries.

And he's like, are you an idiot? Anna, this is. And you're like, I need a ladder. And you won't build it. So I'm just going to use two long boards, 10 dictionaries. No. And she's going to go, you're insane. He goes, build me a library or I'm getting up.

This is a, this is right. Okay. But what you have to do is hang in there because he's going to start looking at you like, who did I marry? You have to hang in there so that he will take matters into his own hand. But the second that he sees you duct tape and a ladder to a longboard, he's going to be, he's going to be puzzled. Okay, we're all going to be puzzled.

But you've got to hang in there and be like, I don't know what else to do. I like the top shelf books for some reason more than the regular books I don't know why we built it like that but I'm duct taping a fucking ladder to a long board because I need to get those top shelf books I'll tell you also why I don't think he wants to do this why it's a ton of work

it's pain right because what you got to build Anna just to talk it go ahead well no maybe then that's the that's you're gonna help instead of the like I'm gonna do this or else you're not gonna make it She can't be like, let me do it then. It might be more work for him. To fix her ladder.

I don't know. Anna, are you good at building? No, not really. Do you have a book on how to build a ladder on that top shelf? The irony. I don't. No, I don't actually have one. So here's what I actually think you need to do.

Here's my final pitch. And then let's all go around and give our final pitches. And then Anna, it's on you. But I think this is a tricky situation because also I think he doesn't want to do it because not only does he have to get a ladder, but he's then got to build that connecting piece, the track, then the track has to be on from the top and the bottom. And I don't know if it's a straight wall or there's connecting walls, but he might have to build a track that has like a U to it.

Yeah. This is hard stuff. And this might be above his pay grade in a way where he's like, fuck the track, man. Right. Because all a library is is shelves. To call a bunch of shelves a library, I could build a quote-unquote library. I can't do the track. I can't do the track in the ladder.

That takes you from being a home builder to a pro. All a library is is shelves, Jake Johnson. That's it. All a DIY, if you build it yourself, look, I got a library right here. I got a mini library right here. You see these three coasters? Put books on them That's the library

But it's not Because it doesn't have a connecting So what is your Your final pitch is what Truthfully I think you got to fall I really in my heart of hearts I really in my heart of hearts

I fell And I think you go to a CVS or a pharmacy And you get a neck brace And he comes home And you go I'm reaching too much for him I need a connecting library.

And if you can't do the ladder, I need to hire somebody who'll do it and I'll obviously pay for it. I, okay. Kiarra, you wanna go with your, uh. I just, I, I love the theatrics of that plan. I just worry if she gets hurt again, truthfully or not. She's not gonna get a ladder.

Cause that's, that's his concern. So if she's, if she is like, see, can't let her climb if she's injured and a neck brace. down the top shelves? Well, I think it's just like your, your neck is broken. You're not getting books from the top shelf for a little bit, babe. Let's make a grown-up decision here, pal. Let's watch some Netflix.

Let's watch Maximum Pledge of TV. I think my, I like the going, the outsourcing of having someone else build it. I think that's, that feels strongest to me. I'm going to say I think you for sure should probably stop reading so fucking much and watch maximum pleasure guaranteed a little bit but what are you doing? You're making us all feel real stupid

I'm going to go with my first I think you go to Lowe's grab a bunch of like grab four weird wheels that are not going to line up properly a ladder and he comes home and you're hammering away saying you've taken matters into your own hands and you're trying to build the ladder

You don't know what you're doing, but somebody's got to do it. God damn it. You like those books. Again, we're reshuffling the books on a lower shelf. For some reason, you have a pension for going for those top shelvers. You're building the ladder on your own. And I will say also, Jake, we're going to ask you for at any point when you're giving him the update, whether you've hurt yourself or whether you're building your own or whether you're outsourcing.

We're going to need an audio file. We're going to need you to wear a wire. So Anna, Anna, no. Now you've got to tell us what you're actually going to do. Don't worry about the creative of the show. Worry about your ladder. How are you going to get this done? I think that the one that's going to hit him the most is if I build it myself

or trying to start building it myself. I think he'll be like, oh, no, I'm taking matters into my own hands. You can't do that. I love that. Me too. Yeah. And so here's what we need you to do. This is a thing.

Pay the tap. So for the first 290 episodes, of this show, we would just give people free advice and then say, like, if you feel like it, here's what we need you to do to pay the tab. You got to take photos of the ladder as you're building it. If you have inspiration photos, we need to see what you're doing. And then we would love to see when he takes over what he does. Yeah. Okay. Make sure what you're doing, in my opinion, is it has to be realistic. You've got to be right on the line of it's got to be real. But it has to be a terribly unsafe idea. Yes.

Okay. Where he goes, where, where I want him to do is say to you and go, this is a nice design and in his head go, where is her fucking brain? She's going to die. Like I'm talking about a ladder in the middle. You go like, but then maybe I could like fold it up again. And he goes, how? And you go, I don't know, like a lever or something.

And then I could like walk from that point to that point across the room. And he goes, what? This is insane. I think he's exactly right, Anna. We want to have the air of believability, but pay the goddamn tab. So we're going to need pictures, and we would love audio

for when he's trying to figure out what the hell's happened to his lovely wife. Okay. I can do that. All right. Thank you for the call. All right. Keep us posted.

Thank you. Bye. We're reading so much. Okay. This episode of the podcast is right. This episode of the podcast is right. Do you buy Chime? Oh, yes.

You know, let me tell you about Chime. Go ahead. It's changing the way people bank. That's true. It's changing the way the people bank, like Jake said. It's fee-free banking, built for you. When I was broke and I would get overdraft fees, I mean, it would kill you. So they're getting rid of overdraft fees, monthly fees, fee-free ATMs.

It's just built for regular people, not the 1%. rated five stars by USA Today for customer service. Real humans 24-7, which I truly appreciate. We are in a world now where it's literally talking to robots. Yes, shouting at them. Representative. Representative. The worst is now,

Hi, Jake. How can I help you? Is there anything I can do for you today? And I go, are you a robot? Dude, I am not a robot. How can I help you? You're a robot, son. I got had by one.

bad on the road a few weeks ago what I was calling a hotel and I ended up getting I talked to this woman at the front desk at the one hotel she made me call this other number and I was like I think this is a robot so I called back to the front desk at the other hotel to be like hey you sent me to a robot only to realize the woman at the front desk was a robot too named Jolene I was like chime is not just smarter banking it is the most rewarding way to bank join the millions who already banking free today. Head to chime.com slash here to help. That is chime.com slash here to help. It only takes a few minutes to set up. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Bank, and Mipay line of credit provided by the Bank or Sridebank N.A.

My pay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com slash fees info. Advertised annual percentage yield with Chime Plus status only. Otherwise 1.000% APY applies. No min balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score.

Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by booking.com. Booking.com helps you get it ridiculously right so you can find exactly what you're booking for. Gman, you're on the road constantly. The hotel you're in, did the show book it or did you book it using booking.com? You know what I've been doing, Jake, is I have to switch hotels so often that I started asking the clubs if they'll just give me a buyout. and then I'll find a hotel that's in between the places.

I'll go to booking.com. I'll find a place that is kind of equidistant, and I get a couple nights in the same hotel. They couldn't make it easier. Well, I've got a question for the audience here. June 19th, is that a date for the Gareth and Steve live show in Omaha? We've got people in the Midwest who are nearby who go, I want to take a little trip and see something, but where would I stay?

Oh. Well, go to booking.com because it makes it easy to find a hotel or a holiday home. That's just, that's not just generically, right, or right for somebody, but ridiculously right for you. Well, also Omaha, a fantastic city surrounded by fantastic. I don't know why you said thank you, Steve, but you just live there. But there's, you could get vacation rentals. You could turn it into a few days. I mean, who knows?

Hey, Steve, if people come to Omaha for this little trip and they book on booking.com and they turn it into a three-day thing, what are a few things they should do besides see you guys live? Well, obviously, we have the best zoo in the country, in the world, I think, maybe. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com. Booking. Yeah.

Book today on this site or in the app. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Wayfair, I bought a robot vacuum on that cleans itself. It's a self-cleaning robot vacuum. And I love it. The thing goes around, vacuums the floor, then takes itself home to its little portal. I'm a fan of it. Wayfair's got everything you want. It's got outdoor seating, grills, it's got outdoor furniture, over 20 million five-star reviews. I really can't recommend it enough. You go on there and you get overwhelmed. The problem with wayfares is they don't sell bigger houses because you just want to buy all the things. easy to put together. It is always a seamless experience. You get the outdoor furniture. It's right

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Hello. Hi. Hi. Can we get your name, please? My name's Ashley. Hi, Ashley. Where are you calling from? Calling from Vancouver.

Beautiful. Our guest, I'm not going to lie, we have a guest helper who lit up when she heard Vancouver from the soon-to-be hit Apple show. Maximum pleasure guaranteed. We have Kiara Goldberg joining us. You've got Jake, myself, Kiara. Hi, Kiarra. Vancouver connection.

I sometimes live in Vancouver. My family is from BC. You're in Vancouver, Canada or Washington. This could be different. Canada, Canada. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool.

All right, ladies, talk about locations. Where in Vancouver? Like, where in Vancouver are you calling from? Gap. A neighborhood is Mount Pleasant. I love Mount Pleasant. Me too. It's the best.

It really, it really is. What's the best restaurant in Mount Pleasant? Let's give it a shout out. The best restaurant. Okay, well, I live right across the street from Como Taparia, which is a really nice. Oh, my God. I love that place. Is this true?

I know. It's so good. Wow. Shout out Como Taparia. Incredible. It's like Spanish tapas. It's so good. Yeah, it's amazing.

Tinfish, Spanish tapas. Did you say tin fish? as the top selling point. Tint fish. Tinned fish. Yeah. You're eating fish from a tent at a place? In a restaurant or under a bridge.

Well, either or, you know. Out of train. It's amazing. We drink a burgundy out of this huge jug, and then we all eat. It's awesome. You drink ale from an open bucket. We're eating tin fish. Shout out of COVID-Taperia.

The beauty is you go to the bathroom, right, the same railroad car. Exactly. Exactly. All right, Ashley Vancouver, you like a tin fish? What do we got? Okay, so I'm calling today because I need help shooting my shot with my eye surgeon. I love this. So the story is, like about a year ago, I had to get eye surgery for like a recurring thing.

I've had since childhood. And in my first meeting with this surgeon, I was like, oh, hey, The surgeon is my age, which made me feel a little bit old because I was like, am I old enough to have gotten a specialized medical degree? The answer is yes. I get this, though. This is a real age. Going to the doctor and leaving depressed because you didn't become a doctor.

But that's a real age when all of a sudden you go like, oh, all the professional grownups are my age now? Yeah. You're like, whoa. Yeah, like how did that happen? Open your sardines and have a bite in there. Literally. You're figuring it out.

That was when I was eating the tin fish under a bridge, like in that. Okay. All right. So you see him. Okay. Keep going. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, you know, we have a few appointments. I've developed a bit of a crush. I think there's maybe like a little bit of a vibe there. But I don't know if that's just because he's friendly and a doctor. Hold on. Ashley, you're giving so much good stuff. I have to jump in.

First of all, what was the thing you had, a reoccurring eye thing? Let's get a little backstory. Sorry. Oh, oh, okay. So it's this thing where one or both of your eyes can sit off center. I called it my wonky eye. Okay. So one eye is kind of like going off and this surgery corrects it so it keeps both eyes in place. Correct. So it's usually a surgery you have like in infancy or as a child. Right. And I did have that as a child as a 12 year old and then I had to, basically the eye went back to where it. it was originally and I had to get it corrected again.

Okay. And how invasive is this surgery? It's a day surgery, but it does like, my eye looked insane. Like it looks crazy. Like the whites of your eye looks like all red and yellow and puffy for a while. It's gross. And then, but the healing process took like, what, three weeks or a month or whatever? And then it's back to normal.

And then you don't have a long now? Feel good? Oh, yeah. All good. Okay. And then the other thing, Ashley, what is around your age in this doctor's age? Oh, I'm 35.

Okay. And then one other thing, when you say Vibage, walk us through what that means. I don't know. Okay, so, you know, I'm coming into an appointment with very much the same type of energy I have right now. Like, I'm friendly, easy to talk to. But then this guy is also friendly and easy to talk to, which sometimes is not the case when you're talking to a doctor, you know? Like, sometimes your experience with a doctor is like, they just want to get you out. out of there, right?

I'm going to diagnose both these people with Canadian. Perhaps. Okay, keep going. Anyway, like, I'm hitting him with the What's Up, Doc. I'm talking about how. Sorry, I'm sorry. What do you mean? You're literally doing the Bugs Bunny?

Yeah, I'm doing the Bugs Bunny when I come into his room for the appointment. Eating a carrot. Okay. All right. Keep going. And how's they responding to what's up, Doc? He laughs. He laughs.

He thinks it's funny. Okay. That's a good start. And then, like, you know, I'm talking about the wonky eye. I go in for a post-op appointment when my eye is still looking kind of crazy and I, and still in the healing process and I talk about how I look like a horror movie right now, you know, and he's like laughing about it and he's like, yeah, we're, you know, it's just, I don't really know how to describe the vibe.

You guys are joking. You're able to make a joke about the situation and he's able to laugh. Correct. That helps us. I got my first pitch really fast. Oh, okay. It's early, but just in terms of the tone and then we're going to get back into it. You go, hey, doctor, now that this eyes not walkie, wonky, I can see straight.

And I like what I see. Let me take this hunk out to dinner. Yeah. You know what? When I first walked in, I didn't see you. I just saw the wall over there. when I looking at you One I looking for you

you up But No That's pretty good That is pretty good That's pretty good Ashley Yeah

What are you looking at One are you looking at the hotel room We're going to stay at tonight Okay But the rub It's a good pitch But the problem is Now I've had my last appointment with him

So I've no reason to see him again Okay That makes sense Okay, so you guys finished and now you're thinking, I got to go back and shoot my shot. Yeah. Like, how do I do that when I have no reason to see him again? I have like his offices email and phone number and that's it. He doesn't like.

Interesting. You know what I mean? Have you done any internet search? Is this dude married? Do we know anything? Have you done? I had the same question. You did, yeah.

Okay. Okay. So he didn't wear a wedding ring. Other than that, I have no idea. I did look him up. He has no social media presence, including no LinkedIn or whatever that I could find. So that is where we're at.

For an eye doctor? Well, I don't know. He's a professional guy. Maybe he just doesn't have time for that. I don't know. Is there like a, like, what are the rules as an eye doctor for jewelry? Like, is it a sterile environment where you can't be wearing your ring, even if you had one?

Well, I didn't know where you're going at that. I was like, you're talking about necklaces and bracelets? Who cares? They're just talking about the ring. Yeah, like how many earrings does he have? Like, hopefully none. He comes to where it's like run DMC. Yeah.

I didn't notice any earring. I did see him in like an office setting, which I would assume doesn't need to be like no jewelry. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally. So he could have a wedding ring in the office. I, uh, yeah. Go ahead, G.

Well, it sounds like, it sounds like from every detail we can tell he's probably, he's probably available. I mean, listen, this is the downside to shooting your shot. You don't know. Exactly. Yeah. We don't know.

Yeah. Give us a really quick question. Let me ask a quick question. What's this guy's vibe? We know that he's joking. What's he kind of look like? What's his kind of style? Because sometimes doctors are just friendly.

Mm-hmm. Where they're like, they're good with patients. He's like, I'm about to operate on her eye. She's saying, what's up, Doc? What's he going to do? Go like this? Nothing. Yeah.

I mean, that's true. I mean, as far as his style, what do you look like? Like, I don't know, he just, he kind of looks like a nerd who would be a doctor. Style, like he's wearing, you know, scrubs in a medical, like a lab coat, you know, I don't have. What's actually? What's hunky about this guy? What do we like it? I think, I think it's more of a vibes thing than like a, like a, the look thing.

Yeah, like, I don't know. I just appreciated him as a guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's, I mean, look, it's really at this point figuring out the, like, least collateral damage way for you to go shoot your shot with him. I have a pitch on that. Okay.

Okay. I think what you do is you make an appointment. And when you make the appointment, you're going in there because you're worried this is happening to your other eye. By the time you go to the appointment, it's not really, I mean, you've had this before. You have an appointment. You're like, fuck it. I'm still going to go because, you know, it's been two weeks.

I just want to be safe. You go and you go, I might, you know, I thought maybe I felt something. I just didn't want to have it happen again. I might just be paranoid. Can you look? He's going to take a look. He's going to go, no, there's nothing wrong. And you're going to go, okay, great.

And say, you know, I also have been thinking about it. I really appreciate the care, the work. I just, can I take you out to dinner as a thank you for getting. my eye back on track and being so kind. There's a tapas bar where we can eat tinted fresh, yeah, anchovies together. So I'm liking a lot of this, Gareth. I'm not liking the lie as a premise. Yeah. I go out of it towards a lie. Jump in. There's a thing there that I'm curious about as a fellow Canadian. Is this doctor like a specialist? Because just making an appointment isn't that easy. That would be tricky, right?

Yeah, correct. Yeah. Yeah. We all get health care, but we have to wait. It's kind of like now that the surgery is done and all the follow-ups are done, in order to see him again, I would need another referral. You know what I mean? So I love that. But do you have direct access to him or his office via email or phone? Yes. I have his office's email and phone.

So here's what I would recommend, similar to where GR was going, but a little different. email the secretary or whoever runs that front of house the host yeah they're definitely called a host at the doctor's office i just want to change turn i don't like secretary we don't know how it happens at kettled we think they're oh i just heard they have to wait a long time it's all different it's not a mary it's all different the uh major d of the uh optometrist If I'm you, I email them and say, I have a little thank you gift for the doctor. Is there a time when he's available where I could surprise him and just say thank you and deliver him this little package?

What he doesn't know is, you dear, the package. I'm going to jump in. Love the setup. I think we do get a gift. And we add a little card to the gift. It is not too long. It's a thank you. But it's funny.

But it's funny. Yes, it's funny. And at the end, you say, I would really like to go out to dinner with you sometime. My treat. If that sounds good, here's my number. Phone number. Here's what I don't love about the note. You're putting it on him.

Right. It's all going to go on him either way. You don't want to go on a guilt date. No. That's true. I think it's nice. It's like it's the doctor's office version of let me give my waiter, my phone number. Yes.

As I'm leaving. Let me give the host the number, you know. So it's a thank you. Did you learn anything about him? Like what would this gift to be? Good question. No, like very minimal, like personal details. So we talked a little bit about like work life balance.

And that's kind of as personal as we got. But that's a start. Like maybe a gift card, Tacomo. And then just become a bar fly there for three weeks. Oh, you know, it could be funny, actually. If you get a gift card for a dinner for two and say, this is my favorite restaurant, if you feel like it, I would love to be your date. But if not, please take whoever you want to go with.

And so it's funny. And now that you fixed my eyes, I'm seeing what I like, and I do like what I see. Yeah. And I like that a lot. As handsome and charming as you, you probably get that a lot when you fix the women's eyes. They fixate on you. Yeah. And so if you've got somebody else, enjoy your night.

Thank you for everything you've done. If not, name the dame doctor, and I will be there reading the menu with no wonky eyes. Nope. Hey. You know what I like this. I'm a big card person. Thank you person. I love this.

I love you too. What do you think, Ashah, are we doing this? Yeah, I would definitely do this. What is the gift going to be? Is it going to be the gift card? I think a gift card maybe for the restaurant, maybe for like a coffee shop or something. Keep a cash. Yeah, I like a cash.

Yeah. Now let's do this really quick. We're going to wait a second. Grab a piece of paper. We're going to pen that note as a team. Okay. Perfect. Tell us when you're ready.

Okay, give me one second. And how are those eyes? The eyes, wait, mine? Yeah. Yeah. No, no, yours. Oh, we know he's true. We know he's got great.

No, they're good. They're great. The condition is not, it doesn't affect your vision at all. It's just the alignment. So even if it's a wonky eye, you're still seeing perfectly. It's an aesthetic. Yeah, exactly. Really?

Right. Yeah. I would not have guessed that. It's what we're seeing. It's really strange. Yeah. So even if it looks like one eyes going to the right, you're still seeing. So our eyes.

eyes looking forward are just visual. Just from the outside it matters, our eyes are actually like, nah, these brown pupils could go anywhere. I'm seeing right. Yeah, exactly. It's very confusing about eyes. I'm very, because I would almost feel like the,

quote unquote, wonky eye could be an advantage. You could have, you know, one eye straight ahead. To the periphery. Yeah, like an assassin's eye. Yeah, it might make it a little dizzy. Well, you know, might make it a little dizzy. Too late for that now. I got it there.

You get used to. Look, the point is, did you. Did you find a pen? I did. We're ready. All right. So, Ashley, why don't you take the first stab just write and talk out loud and then the three of us, if somebody's got something, just interrupt.

But when you're doing this, don't think about the podcast. Don't think about the audience. Think of this fucking hunk in scrubs. Don't think about the spotlight on you right now. Think about the spotlight on him. That's right. Mm-hmm. In the lovers bath you guys are going to take together.

Okay. You're going to keep lights out. Oh, Lord. In a lover's bath. I don't know if I love a fully lit lover's bath, but just go ahead. Yeah, that sounds crazy. Why not? I don't know.

This chef likes to see the ingredients. I don't care for anything. Now we're really in a bucks buddy zone, yeah. Moving on. Okay. Cut all that. How about like just wanted to drop a quick note to thank you for all your help as we went through this process.

I really appreciated how kind and friendly you were throughout everything and... Pause, too Canadian, too many words. Okay, I just think you don't need to say, I just wanted to leave this note. Just start with a thank you. Agreed. Okay, okay, okay.

Start over, cut some of that fat out. All right. Thanks so much for taking care of me over the past year or so. I kind of miss the wonky eye, but I'm grateful that it's fixed. That's on the cutting board, but keep going. I don't know. I kind of like it. I like it.

It shows her personality. Right. I miss the wonky eye. I keep going. If I'm him, I'm laughing at line two. Okay. As a thank you, I wanted to, you know, wait. Wait, so maybe take, maybe be like,

I'm so grateful for your support at the beginning, take out the thank you so that you can end it with the, I'd like to thank you by. Okay, da, do, do, do, da, da, da, da. All right, take a second, and because we're going to have you read it at the end again. Okay, so, um. We got the gratitude, we got the joke.

We got the, the off, the, The offering, thank you. Exactly. Yeah. And now we just got to land. We've got to pull the boat in the fish. And then pull the fish in the boat. Because it's on the hook.

Okay. So as a token of gratitude, as a token of my gratitude, please accept this gift card. Yeah. Okay. Great. To wherever.

Yeah. And if you're looking for someone to accompany you. Maybe we thank him real quick, some of the wonky eye thing if we like that, right? Yeah. And then we'll return to the, I know someone who would like to go with you if you're interested. If not, enjoy your night. Oh, that's nice.

You go. I'm really grateful for your, like, support and being, you know, through this process. Yeah. The wonky eye. No, what was that? Wonky eye joke. I kind of missed the wonky eye, but, you know. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or you could just, yeah, I wanted to thank you by giving you this gift card to this restaurant. I love it, whatever. Wongy eye joke. If you want someone to, if you want someone to accompany you to dinner, I'd love to be your date.

I know someone who'd be into that. Their number is this. I wouldn't do somebody who's into it because, well, you don't want him to go is go, who? If he goes who, we don't want to get into a relationship. That's true. We might. He's busy.

He's tired. Yeah, but just, but I, but I, for different reasons. Essentially gave me your number. Who are you? Do you want to go to fish? I'm a crazy doctor. I agree, Gereff, actually. That's crazy.

If he calls and goes, I would like to just go to dinner. Who are you? And then sees it's her. Hey, I got this number from Ashley. Hello, I'm the eye doctor. Ashley's setting us up. Do you want to meet at the fish place?

Yeah, I agree. That's insane. All right. All right. So, Ashley, what do we got here so far? And did you use anything about like pulling the fish in the boat kind of thing? Or did you go in a different direction? pulling the fish in the boat

I don't think that was clear that that was a thing for her to write Jake move on then move on everyone was doing their own thing it felt like you two were cooking I felt like you guys were cooking and I thought let them get in their groove but she's hearing me too kind of I'm realizing now that she didn't I thought you were just musing on the on the situation at large no I'm moving on I won't pretend it didn't happen

I am that doctor who's going to call some random number and go I don't know who this is but I'm looking to take you on a date. Hello, Ashley came in with a wonky eye, thinks we might be right for each other. Do you like tapas? You like tin fish,

babe? You and da tapas? Just wear a yellow, so I know who it is. Why don't we meet in the park before? Okay, Ashley, read us this goddamn letter. Okay, okay. So it just says

thanks so much for your help over the past year. I kind of the wonky eye, but I'm grateful that it's fixed. As a token of my appreciation, please accept this gift card. And if you're looking for a plus one, I'd be happy to go with you. And then my number. That feels too casual.

I think we just flip the first one's great, then wonky eye, then as a token of my, wait, no, sorry, as a token of my appreciation, precea, but, but, di lily, boo. I'm with you. I'm with you. That was cool.

You could become a full-on scat lady. You know, all of a sudden, you became a jazz club in Harlem, baby. No, because this is my bread and butter. I love to edit an email, but it's driving me crazy. I don't have it in front of me. You know, like, I love when a friend sends me a draft. So, Gareth help me, because you know exactly what I'm thinking. I think what you're saying.

Gareth and Jake is what you met. So first of all, do the fish stuff. Get that out of the way. You kind of just went to Gareth. I don't want to do a fish joke. No, no, no, no. We're just having fun. We're just having a laugh, okay?

But hang in their sister. Pull the tuna in the boat. It's not really a fish. A joke. Okay, dokey. Where's the joke? Jake, I'm putting you on ice too, like the tuna metaphor that we're not using. Here's what you do.

Ashley, you're starting with, hey, thanks for everything. As a token of my appreciation, here's the gift card. I kind of missed the won't key eye, but, you know, however you want to put that. If you're looking for someone to join you for that dinner, I have the perfect candidate. Her number is this, smiley for you. We're separating the as a token and the I would be your date. I think it's helpful a couple of ways. But yeah, it's one way because he's like, oh, cool, a nice gift.

Oh, funny joke. Oh, shit. She wants me to take credit. Oh, bad news. My hook went into a sea turtle. Stop it now. Wait, but Jake, you did, you were saying, you were saying that it felt too casual. What's, what's the problem?

I don't like this. If you're just looking to get a coffee, I go like this. I got enough friends. I'm a doctor. I fix eyes. Yeah. What I want to hear is... What I'm looking for is...

A fishing line. No. Oh, my God. Yeah. What I'm looking for is something in the zone of, thank you for working on my eye. I miss the wonkiness. Here's a thing if you want to, you know,

pull this tuna onto a boat kind of thing. Put a saddle on this tuna and ride it like in a rodeo. And you go... Sattel on the tuna. You go, whoa. You're saying that the only way for it to not come off casual is to talk about tuna? No, but it does seem like I'm saying that. Here's what I'm actually saying, Ashley.

We need to flirt. If you're going to shoot the shot, shoot the shot, this feels like you're going like this. I don't know. You shoot a shot. I want that last line to go. I'm looking for a little bit of sex. Let's keep everything we said. And the last line will be something a little more overt along the lines of, by the way, if you want to take anyone to that dinner with you, I'm definitely tossing my hat in the ring.

Here's my number. something like that's cute okay yeah so then he goes oh she's asking me out yeah yeah we could we could afford a bigger flirt at the end because guess what if he never calls you're not going back to the doctor this is great yeah like let's go out and then go okay while you're there go so my wife found her anniversary now that we're girlfriends right here to gab brother right okay because i think i think you're getting a text either way i think you're either going to get it like a friendly text of like, hey, I'm in a relationship. This was so sweet. I'm so glad

you're feeling great. Like, thank you. Or, right. Commodaparia, question mark. That's exactly, but that might come at 2 a.m. Well, you might have a Coke problem. That might come at 4.30 a.m. on a Wednesday.

All right. So, Ashley, read us the, read us what you got. Okay, so I'm just saying, thanks for everything over the past. as a token of my appreciation. I wanted to please accept this gift card. I kind of missed the wonky eye, but I'm grateful it's fixed. If you're looking for someone to join you at this dinner,

I'd love to tag along. Here's my number. Not tag along. I'd love to be your date. I'd love to join you. I'd love to be your date. Yeah, Jake's right. Okay, I'd love to be your date.

Phone number. Be your date, phone number. I'd love to be your date, phone number. To be clear, that's your actual number. I'd love to be your date phone number. Phone number. Yeah. I never heard from him.

No, I got it. Oh, man. Now you got to pay the toll. And what we need for the toll is what, Ashley? What do you mean? Ashley, listen, we've dished out some phenomenal advice here. You're in a good spot, right? You feel pretty good?

Yeah, I feel good. We're not asking anything for you. We just want you to have a good life. But the only thing we're asking you is to pay the tab here a little bit on our end. We want a picture of the note. we want an update on what his reply is a screenshot of a text or anything like that. And if there is a date, we definitely expect a picture of you to. Well, I don't know if you could get, you could also black out the faces, but we definitely,

if there's either way, we're going to have you back on. But we need a photo of the note, especially when and then if there's any response. Yeah. Okay, absolutely. We'll do. We appreciate you. All right, Ashley. Okay, Ashley.

Fish in the boat, ready to get it. And serving it tonight, through a tin. Take care. God bless. Hang up right now. Don't see yikes anymore. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds.

If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod. At gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash Here to Help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Foller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh.

The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to Garethreth Reynolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a HeadGum podcast.

Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on HeadGum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to That Was Us on your favorite podcast app

or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify new episodes every Tuesday. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to Fri-Ch. Coming to F***. That's what it is.

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the podcast, a new show coming to HeadGum soon. Woo-hoo. Whoop. I've learned it. Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes.

Every minute over is a minute to roll. Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that every so often. With guests like Spike Jones.

I think this committed Jackass the podcast. What was it going to be called? The Jackass Podcast. No, Jackass Podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-O. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in cloud makeup right this fucking minute.

Chris Pontius. That shot of your butt just cruising up. I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us. Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad's gonna happen to me. Wee man, Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head

And threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy. And I left a nice surprise in the toilet form. Every time. Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast,

or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes.