We're Here to Help - 302: Haunted Lacrosse House & Kissing Like Muppets

Episode Date: June 29, 2026

The guys spook a college lacrosse team by inventing a local legend. Then, they help a young caller have a difficult kissing conversation. Plus, a great success falls flat.Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. GR, what's going on, bud? Oh, the usual, you know, the usual Hollywood business. How are you? We were just talking. Your life is in some wild sorts. You're drinking an ice coffee out of a jar now.

Oh, not to be all over the place. Pam gave me a present for you, so I got something. No way. Well, speaking of, first of all, I miss Pam, how's she doing? She's pretty good. She's her usual lunatic self. Like, every time I talk to her, she's in L.A. right now, and I'll talk to her, and she'll have some item of trash.

She's excited to take home and polish. I think my mother might be a crow. No, because she doesn't hold mean grotto. Actually, she does. She still hates your dad. Oh, there are, you know there's certain people where you can't commiserate with because you go, well, you're angrier than me. Yeah, well, the funny thing about certain people, my mom is this eaves this way with my deceased dad. But it would literally, I'll go, to this day, we were, she's now here, we're hanging out all the time.

And by the way, we're having a great time. Is that right? How often is she over? Kind of a lot. We hung out all day yesterday. It's the first couple weeks for Rocky, Gareth. The move is a lot. I know, but Eve was getting so mad at everything.

I didn't know if you were hyping it up just for comedy. No, she genuinely was mad. She was so mad. And then I would say, why are you mad at me? She'll go, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad. And I'm like, I know, but you're taking it out on me. It's crazy.

Being around someone who's mad. And just mad. Yeah. It feels very similar. It's the same thing. It's very close. And I know I'm jumping around. Speaking of people being mad, Gareth.

That's a good segue. The audience, at least, and this is a real question to the audience, because you have said from the beginning, comments are not audience. Well, I've said that it's not the whole audience. There is a sect. It's like if there are certain people who like to engage with their things. thoughts. Yes.

You know, and that can be helpful in ways. Like when I am in a random city and I go to Yelp to find out if a place is good, sometimes I'll go, this was helpful. Other times I'll go, there's a little more going on besides a restaurant review right here. So there's some catharsis in general. Yes. What I need to say is there's a percentage of our audience that is so mad at us. Why?

What did we do? First of all, I'm sorry. This is how I do it. I'm sorry. I think they... I think they're just starting to hate us, Gareth. Why? What did we do?

I'm sorry. So the comments started. Always great actual content, but the ads are out of control. Felt like half the episode was ads. Almost gave up. 38 people agree. First caller starts at 14 minutes. 23 people agree.

the intro of us gabbing I didn't realize it's people's nightmare right now we are doing a nightmare about their nightmare I mean they're like they're like I want to listen to that show with that guy Jake and that guy Gareth where they taking callers but I hate

that guy Jake and that guy Gareth when they talk I know yeah the premise is beating us I listen to the show for free but sometimes some of the ads, which I am allowed to fast forward through, get too long with that guy Jake and that guy get. I broke my thumb.

To the point of, I hate it. Also, disliking the rollout of the term, pay the toll tab expression. Your thoughts, Gareth. And guess what? A lot of people are agreed. Was about to comment the same thing. Rooms the vibe.

Another one. I agree. The premise of the show is free advice that feels free. I already pay for Spotify premium. We don't get a penny of that, Rebecca. Half the episode is ads, and frankly, I'm sick of the promos asking for payments. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, subscribe to Patreon and get stuff locked behind a paywall. Yes, I understand that they're not actually asking for money with the money.

this phrase, but the expression itself is a turnoff. Oh, my God. I mean, I feel like Eve's running these sock puppet accounts. Well, listen. Eve has taken over our audience. We're just performing for Eve. Yeah. We're Croco and they're Eve.

We got nothing to say anymore. Listen, I think there's some helpful stuff in there. Like you said, the last round of ads were long because we thought they were We just did them together, so they were cut longer for creative intent. The pay the tab, we really have enjoyed. And I think it's going to be good in the long run because it's... But here's where people get it wrong. It's a favor trade.

Here's what for people who are hating the show. I just disagree. I get your pain from Spotify premium. You understand the way all this works. Gareth and I are in our little closets like goofballs. Yeah. Doing an intro at 80. You're not paying us through Spotify.

We're not making any money for that. Yeah. We have a staff that's a small army that could take over a little countries to do this little podcast. We don't plan the calls. When people call in, we're just going. If we say, hey, do you every time, do you mind following up? Well, the show makes it fun for us and we think the audience. because certain callers really come to life and follow up

and add things to the show and take the lead. So we thought a fun little charming term was pay the toll you, maniacs. And I think you're going to get more follow. I think we will get better follow-ups in the long run. So let me make a comment on the commenters. And let me, as a guy who gives advice, on this show, give advice. Relax.

Take it easy. You know my dad, Krocco, Garrett, used to have his term before he died with all his friends knew, he would always say take it easy. Take it easy. He had a mug that said take it. It was like his catchphrase.

It was his sitcom catchphrase. And he would just go, hey, hey, take it easy. And remember, I remember he was living with a wild bird. Okay. I mean, not really. Take it easy.

You said that to Cleo. Oh, I thought you meant my mom. No, no. You were talking about Cleo. No. All right, anyway. Enjoy the show. No, actually.

Continue hating as their show. And we were brought to you by Booking. dot com. Oh, sweetbooking.com. Yeah, well, I mentioned before just how often I'm using booking.com these days. They make it simple. You get a real sense of where you're going, what it's going to be like. It makes travel a lot easier because you can see on your phone, on your computer, where you're going. And it depends who you're going with. Are you going with buddies? You're going with family. Are you going with the elderly? Are there youths? You're going to make it yours. I've had a couple of trips in the last year with a couple of friends of mine where we've just kind of tried to find somewhere

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That's takeultra.com for 15% off with code. Here to help. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Hello? Hello there. Hi, how are you? I'm doing well.

How are you? I'm good, man. Let's get that name real quick. That's good. My name is Johnny. Johnny. Johnny, how old are you? I am 18 years old.

18. Perfect for it, Johnny. Yeah, I was going to ask. Are any plans to drop the Johnny, Johnny, or you feel good? No, I've actually been asked that question before, and I plan to keep the Johnny. I love it. I love it. I love it.

Hold on to it. Johnny, where are you? I am in the Salt Lake Valley in Utah. Oh, wow, beautiful. My favorite state to drive through. Really? Johnny, yeah, it is. Johnny 18, Salt Lake.

You play football, Johnny? Nope, no, don't play football. I do swim. Okay, that is interesting. What's going on, Johnny? What can we do for you? All right, so basically, I've been seeing this girl who I do work with for a couple weeks now

and things have been picking up recently and I really like her. So we started kissing and making out and it's great. You said you're from Utah? Yeah, he is. Yeah, that makes sense with the kissing and making out it was great. Johnny Mormon? No, I'm not.

Okay, all right. So you're kissing 18? Yeah. The kisses are good. It's great. Enjoying the kissing. Okay. It's great.

Well, actually, every time it goes on for more than like five seconds, she presses, like, so hard into my face, I can feel her, like, teeth on my mouth. Oh, me. Johnny? That's weird. It is weird.

It is. So, like, we'll start kissing. It'll be happening. And then. like they're just there and I can just feel that. And it makes it uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's, okay. I remember this so clearly with like stuff like that where you would be going, whoa, what's going? You seemed normal and now there's lots coming my way. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Exactly. So I'm kind of at the point now where like it's getting hard. And so my question is, how do I tell her that, basically she's too aggressive when she kisses without making her like self-conscious or weird and also I work with her so how do I like keep it from being awkward in that sense I got an easy pitch I got a couple too go ahead you go first well I first of all I wouldn't worry about the work awkward thing because you know you're going to be respectful and it's not like you know you want this to work out either way I don't think this is a make or break I don't think having a

straight up conversation is the right way. Now, Saturday, too. My first. My first two, the first one is going to be, Jake, you're going to hate my first one, but there's a second one, okay? My first one is that you went to the dentist and there's been some markings and it seems like when you're kissing, your teeth are getting rubbed and it's causing friction. And there's marks.

Okay, that doesn't exist. Here's my second one. When you're making out, she's pressing on your teeth. At some point, you fake tooth pain. Hate this too. And you back up and you just kind of go like, ah. She's going to be insecure. She's going to be insecure.

And I wouldn't hate a little fake blood. Go ahead. Hate those two. Okay. The one you're going to hate that I'm only saying right now for you to hate because I don't believe it. Put a ham sandwich in your mouth before the kiss and see if she can get it out. Don't do that. Here's my real pitch.

What? I don't know why I said that. I don't agree with that. It's the opposite problem. It makes your goal even more intense. You should do it. Don't do that. I just wanted to do a bad pitch.

You just made my look great. Yes, that's what I did wrong. Here's my real pitch, Johnny. You guys are kissing. You're having fun. The mood is light. You're chatting. You guys are in Utah.

You just had a bunch of weird sodas with cream in it and you're like. And you got to shut up about them. You're like, I just mixed Dr. Pepper with Fanta with a heavy cream. So, yeah. sure our beer isn't the regular percentage that other states are but have you ever had a nine sodas in once with a cherry coke with nine pumps of vanilla yeah and she's like wow this is an amazing date then go while you're kissing go you want to do a game and she'll go I'm in

Utah I love games and go let's kiss at all different levels and go from zero to 10 so zero is the softest kiss and then go one two and then afterwards go which level did you like the most 10 is like a really intense one where it's almost like muppets and comedic where you guys like laugh it off and she's like eh and then go of the zero through 10 where did you like more and she'd go like probably five and you go like me too actually because most likely john is she just doesn't have a lot of experience so she's making this up as she goes And most likely you guys break up, she'll date somebody else, and then she'll go like, I think I'm a weird kisser, and she'll make the adjustment. If you talk about it, the insecurity is about being bad at kissing is like being bad at sex.

You're like, that's going to shut you down, and she's going to be like, oh, my God, I chipped his tooth and Gareth wanted fake blood. Then she's going to go like, I might be the worst kisser in the whole world. So if you do the game and it's genuinely fun just because you're like a fun guy, and she goes, I don't know, and you're, and you're, you go, I gotta say something weird. I think I like the twos. Then you could start before a kiss. You start kissing and you go like, what level would you like, my lady? And you go like, hey, how about a three?

And you go like, a three, we were thinking the same thing. And so if you're at a seven and it's intense and you're feeling that pressure, you could go, what if we turn this down to a five? And now you're both speaking the same level of intensity of kissing. I actually really like that pitch until that. end. I like the idea that you're saying, I mean, you're 18 in fucking Utah. I would imagine that, you know, maybe kissing is a little new to both of you potentially. So I think having an honest conversation where you say, you know, I would love to make it so that when we make out,

you love it. Can we walk through the 10 range of what our kisses are? And let's lock in on what we both really enjoy the most. And one is a slow kiss and 10 is a more passionate kiss. And that way during that scale, you can move away from six if that's toothy and down to four. Because I want to be a good kisser for you. Yes, you're framing it as you're coming from. And you're giving her,

which you should, especially at 18, more control in the physical dynamic. I think that is, you're saying I'm an 18 year old boy full of sugar. I mean, I just went to the soda farm. And so you, how about this? Let's make sure you're really enjoying this because I'm enjoying everything because I'm with you.

I think it'll come off real sweet. I think it'll be effective and give her a little bit of control, which could be nice. And then if she's like, I love a 10, I'm all teeth, you go wrong girl for me. Or you just say, all right, well, listen, I love 10, except the only thing is it hits my teeth every now and then. You're having a real honest conversation. By the way, this is going to lay a great foundation if things escalate physically further. You're not, by the way, Johnny, if this gal becomes a gal where you guys start doing things with your bottoms off, it's a heck of a nice start where you're having real talks where she could go,

I'll tell you what I like, Johnny. And you go, mm, gracias for the tips of the test. Yes. The 10 scale, honestly, it's very strange that it doesn't even exist. in relationships. I'll tell you one nice thing about getting older that I did not have back in the day in the horizontal category

with the ladies communication. Yeah, yep. It makes it a lot easier when someone gives you the answers to the test. Oh, yeah. It's nearly impossible to open up a safe where you go, I just got a guess here? If I'm being honest,

this reminds me of a woman I dated probably in my 20s who was like, I'm going to teach you how to go down. Interesting. And was like very, it was very tutorial and it was very helpful. And it was just because, and it was, listen, in the moment, yeah, one the best. You know what I mean? It was like, you're getting notes left and right.

You're kind of going like, hey, that hurts my feelings. But by the end, I was cut from steel. And she even said, she's like, look, we're probably not going to end up together. but when you leave here, you're going to be thanked. So this is a very, I think this is perfect. I think it's important. I would definitely just frame it like that and frame it like a, it's coming from you

wanting to make her, you know, happy when you're kissing. And you guys walk through the scales together. So it's like a learning experience or I'm more framing it like it's a game, like one through 10. Well, here's a question to you, Johnny. What works better for you? I don't know, because I do like to play games, and I kind of have a goofy personality, especially when I'm around people. But I could see it going both ways, depending on how serious I want it to be.

How about we do this? Gareth, you want to be the girl? Sure. Yeah, why don't you try both? Because I think you're right. Like, if you are too serious about this, it could be seen a little weird, early. Yeah, yeah. So let's, uh...

Yeah, because it's super fresh. So. Yeah. So let's see what happens. Let's try. So start it off. What's my name, Johnny? It can be fake.

We'll just call you Anna, I guess. Anna, I guess. Okay, of the I guesses. All right, whenever you're ready. Okay, wait, wait. What am I pitching here? What am I doing? Johnny, you're trying whatever works best for you.

We're seeing how it works coming out of your mouth. You want to pitch the scale of one to ten, and if you feel comfortable doing it in a kind of silly, goofy way, that's what you're going to kind of do. Okay. Okay. I'd go, hey, Anna, so things have been going great lately. How about, how about we try something a little fun?

We'll start at a one. I'm going to jump in, Johnny. I'm going to jump in. Okay, go for it. Go for it. Here's the timing where I think you might want to do it. So weird. Let's be, let's be making out a little bit.

And when there's a break from making out, let's say, why don't you jump in then with like, I really like kissing you. Do you want to try? And then maybe you can do your little goofy pitch of like, let's see, I want to make sure we both feel good about it or you feel good about it. Let's jump through the one through 10 versions of intense kissing. And you tell me which one you like best. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Well, actually, we haven't really gotten into like the full makeout yet because like five seconds in, like I just feel like teeth are suddenly there. And then I back out quickly. without open mouth. It's crazy, like, how quickly she opens her mouth. Like, it's insane. She just goes, she just going like it. Boom.

She just goes for it. You know what she's doing? She's a mag. Brother. Yeah. Okay. All right. All right.

Well, let's start. Let's try. Okay. So, wait. I'd say something like, uh, muh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm.

Ding. Ding. All right. Well, listen. Ding, ding. Okay. Okay. Johnny, he's trying to get you out of the kissing.

I know you're getting lost in the kissing. Ding. Okay. Hey, hey, what if we tried something? What if we tried something? I got to stop. I got to stop. Gareth, I think you're wrong to start this mid-kiss.

This has to happen before. Okay. All right. This is, they're hanging out. And it's like a... Biana, I guess. Yes. So here's what you do them.

While driving, so there's no chance of the kiss, you start this as a... A game you're discussing. Okay. You know, it could be fun. If we kissed and we did this thing where we kissed at different levels and be like, I know so stupid, but I was having this thought of like zeros are really soft kiss.

Tens are really intense because I could like figure out levels of kissing together. And she'll be like, oh, Johnny. I like it. All right. So pretend we're driving. Okay, you're driving. Johnny, are you ready to try this? I'm feeling ready.

I'm feeling ready. Are you Anna or my Anna? I think you'd be Anna. Okay. Awesome. We're trying. Okay. Hey, Emma, I was thinking, would you,

be willing to try playing a little game? Okay. So, what if we pull over here in a second and we just try something new where we'll start kissing, but we'll start it like a Z. Start like a zero. It'll be really nice, real soft.

And then we work our way up. We're getting there. And soon, we'll be at a 10. Chani, what are you talking about? You know, just thinking. It could be fun to try. But what do you mean, a zero and a 10? I mean, like, we start soft, just a little kiss.

Here and there. Maybe we go to like a two. two next where you know we start using our hands then we go to like a seven and it's our hands pretty crazy and then and then 10 yeah yeah but what do you mean like then is a 10 intercourse because if I told you I'm not ready for that no no no no no of course of course not I know you're not right now we're gonna a 10's just like crazy like ridiculously crazy like just just getting silly but what are you doing with your hands at a three um because you said I don't know.

Well, I haven't thought about it on much, so I don't know. But I don't think I want to play this with you. I'd like to get dropped back off at the soda fountain. Okay. You got dumped. You got dumped. If this is a video game, you lost nine rods. I want to jump in, Johnny.

It sounded pervy. Johnny, I want you to be Anna. I'm going to be you. Okay, I'm going to be Anna. Okay. Three, two. Action. Bigley.

It's so funny how if I floor the car, Your voice is so much deeper. You sound like a perverted old man with an 18-year-old girl. It's grossed me out of alcohol. I would talk about an 18-year-old girl. As a dad, I will rip you out of that car by your hair. I've done nothing. I will beat the life out of you, you pervert.

I've done nothing. Now I'm hot. Stop. What kind of car are you driving, Johnny? Bulls fucking Jeddah. Better not be a van, you pervert. A Jedda. Okay, here we go.

A jedda is okay. Three, two, Pigliand. Man, man, I tell you, when I tell you, when I pushed this jet at an 80. You feel it shake? Yeah, I feel a shake. It's so interesting how it's like the harder I push it, the more intense it gets. It kind of, you know, I was thinking the other day, I was talking to a friend of mine

who's been with this girl for a while. Just the different ways that people kiss. I know we've only just started, but I was sort of thinking, would you be down to do a stupid little exercise with me? Because I love kissing you, but I want to make sure, you know, It's like exactly what we want. So it could be fun to just sort of go from a one kiss. I have an idea.

I have an idea. That inspired something. I think you're close to something great. Okay, good. All right. I'm going to be Johnny, Johnny, you be Anna. Okay. Okay, we're driving.

Will you count us in, Gareth? Three, two, Pigley, and go. How's your day going, Anna? It's going very well. Thank you for asking. Yeah, I'm happy to be with you. Everything going good? Yeah, I love it.

Love it so much. We're spending time with you. I love spending time with you. You know, I was thinking the other day, I was getting nervous. Do you like kissing me? Yeah, I love it. Because I really love kissing you, too. I love being with you.

Sometimes I think, because I'm obviously inexperienced, am I always kissing you exactly how you like? Because I kind of don't know what I'm doing sometimes. No, no, I think you're great and perfect in every single way. That's how I feel about you, too. Can we try something just for me? Next time we kiss and it doesn't have to be now. Now it's awkward, but I just want to make sure that we're both happy with it.

When we kiss, can we pretend it's like a volume of like a speaker? And if it's like so, let's say I'm going so intense and like I'm banging into your teeth and you want less, then say like five. And let's say I'm going too soft and you can't feel something because you say seven. So we can almost like calibrate kisses together. And I know it's going to be awkward, but I'm just feeling a little bit insecure. That sounds like an interesting thing to do. And then if we don't like it, Anna, we could stop.

But maybe we just try it once and then we move on. And if I'm ruining it, I'm really sorry because I don't want to ruin this with you because I really like you. I mean, I think that's great. What do you think, Johnny? Because then it's all on you. She's in control. And then on the first one with the kissing, now she's thinking about the season. Then she could go, you know what?

That's maybe a little bit too much cheat. And you go, okay, so what do we think? And then she'll, in her head, she'll go, oh, maybe I'm being aggressive. Yep. Okay. Okay. But it's all, Johnny. So let's go again, your Johnny, Gareth, is Anna.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Three, two, Pigley, and. Hey.

So, how's it going? Having a, having a nice date? Yeah, I really enjoy spending time with you. This is really nice. That's excellent. You know, I just wanted to say, I really like you a lot. But I was thinking, like, do you think I'm a good kisser? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't know.

What do you mean? I was just wondering the other day. Like, I want both of us to be, like, you know, perfectly, perfectly satisfied with this relationship. So I was thinking maybe we could try a little game where we take it, take our kissing from like level zero to level

10. You know what I'm kind of saying? Kind of like a volume knob on a speaker. So like next time take it back 20 seconds and say it again. So take it from where you said that you kind of agree. with Anna here. Take it back from where you said.

Maybe it's because you're 18, but when you say a game, it's getting perfect. I don't like game. I don't like game coming out of an 18. I don't like a game going to 10. It feels like you're trying to figure out of way. Don't bring it numbers early.

Okay. Okay. We're trying to, this is a real safe space and you are not. She cannot feel pressured sexually. Yes. Okay. Okay.

Yeah, I'm having a great date. I love kissing you. Yeah, it's great. That's excellent. I was wondering if you would be, I don't know how to say it. How about this? For my insecurities, can I pitch a little thing we do next time we kiss just for fun and just to see how it makes us feel?

Yeah, yeah. Come from like your like, I'm just like, you know, I like you. I just want to make sure everything's good in that department, something like that. Okay, okay. Oh, I have an idea. John, I can even make this easier. because your start was so perfect. Yes.

Great. So it's good. I love that you said, I want to make sure that we're both enjoying this. Then go, next time we kiss, forget the game, forget the zero to ten. Go, can we just, can we talk about it after we kiss a little bit and make sure it's what you like? Okay. And so you then kiss for a little bit and then go, was that? too intense and she'll go no and you go did you think with our teeth hitting it was too much

i feel like i keep hitting your teeth i feel like i keep hitting your teeth i feel like i keep hitting your teeth and then she'll go maybe it's me and then you go i think you're a great kisser you know and then you go maybe what i'm going to do is try to be a little less uh aggressive and see what happens i'm going to try to hit your teeth a little less because i feel like i keep bumping them and then when you do that you'll both naturally go and then go how was that that felt i think that was right for me and then she'll go great yeah and then she'll go holy shit i just got a little bit better kissing yep okay okay let's try that let's try that okay okay okay so wait we just got done kissing or wow you just you're right you just start kissing okay here we go we just start

kissing count us okay this is when gareth a grown man in his 40s kisses july Three, two. Get it. Stop, care. We knew you were going to do that. It's unnecessary. Stop it. Hold on.

Guys, both you, both you two. We're finding this thing. We're both doing it. I think it's okay. Cut out all the monies. Yeah, we're figuring out. I know, but it's unnecessary. Why?

It's, we're cutting, all that gets cut out. I don't need you two, both. Both of you are creeps. You know what? You're violating a safe space right now. I am because the audience, I'm protecting their ears. I'm protecting a random person driving to work. 25% of the audience is furious at you right now.

25% of the audience is curious. They are always. But deep down, I think a lot of them are going, he's not wrong. I'll tell you what, I wouldn't want to hear it back. All right, here we go, Johnny. Three, two. Okay, okay. We're kissing.

Cheeky monkey. Okay. You're kissing. Okay. So, Anna, how do you feel? How do you feel like this is going? That was nice. I feel good.

I really like spending time with you, Johnny. That's, I love that. I love spending time with you too. I was just thinking, just because I'm a little insecure about this, I just feel a little bad because I feel like I keep hitting your teeth and I was wondering if you were noticing the same thing. the same thing. I did a little, yeah, but it doesn't bother me.

I don't know. Yeah, but I did know. I mean, yeah, we kind of bumped teeth a couple times. Yeah, I was just wondering if you wanted to talk about it a little bit, see if you had any notes so we could both get better at this. I'm not really. I mean, obviously we haven't like kissed too intensely, but do you feel good? I feel great.

I would just, you know, I'd be willing to try something new, too. Maybe we want to experiment with it a little bit. What do you mean? This is good. Like, maybe we try taking it to some different levels. Like, maybe we try it a little easier. We try it a little more intense and just see where we're both comfortable. Yeah, I mean, that sounds good.

I like what we're doing, but if you want to try to do it a little different, that's fine. Make sure you say, Johnny, if she ever says I like what. we're doing, repeat that phrase. Instantly say I like it too. I do too. You take away any insecurity. I like what we're doing. Me too.

Okay. Johnny, I think you're in a money zone here. I do too. And I think after that conversation, if teeth hit again, you just kind of pause and laugh. Say sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm trying to keep our teeth away.

I apologize. And every time your teeth hit, it's a joke. You go, our teeth are like magnets. Yeah. And then she'll be like, it's crazy. Oh, my goodness. I just keep happening. But then you're aware of it, and guess what's going to happen?

It's going to be less and less. And I think, honestly, not too, I think that why this is so good is because it's all you. It's all you. It's all you. And bringing it up is half the battle. So after that, you know, it's out there. Okay, yeah, great. I love it.

When are you going to kiss her next? Hey, Johnny. Hey, what's up? You just became Jonathan. Whoa. Whoa. Sorry. Sorry, you're Johnny.

Whoa. Hello, Jonathan. Jonathan? This is good stuff. By the way, that should actually be how the name Jody works. There's a man in the bed, Gareth, behind you. Yeah, there's a man in the bed. I agree.

Sorry. Johnny, keep in mind who you're listening to. After all this, I saw movement. Yeah, there's a man in the bed, John. In a room, there's movement. Now the pillow got pulled away. There's a pillow got pulled away. Yeah, well, the man feels shame now.

The van probably try to hide. You lied to me, Gareth. You said you were no longer doing this. This is a rare outlaw. Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake. And a commercial for booking.com, you've lied to us. Jake, no, this is a winning call. I don't think we need to bring in that I'm fibbing on booking.

I'm always looking for my own rooms. Always. This whole trip has been own room. This is the only time. Okay. Johnny, don't let this, don't let this wet blanket anything that we've been through. This is a winning solution. Okay.

Honestly, this does make the moaning seem weirder somehow. I don't know. Not somehow. Gareth, this whole time you haven't said there was a man sleeping in your hotel room. I know, right behind you. I know, but we should probably get out of it. And then see his arm move under the pillow. I thought there was a rodent.

Yeah, in many ways there is. And so let's just get out of the call. Now you put the pillow back into the frame. Yeah, the pillows. The pillow's doing a bunch of stuff. But Johnny, that's not what this is about, okay? Johnny, this is a winning call, and you're a winner. And I think this is going to be great.

I think Annie, you're golden. And I think this should be replicated for any conversations like this. And I ignore that there's a man behind me and ignore the pillow stuff. Johnny, thanks for the call. Go get a soda. Thank you guys. There you go. Thank you so much.

Okay, see you guys. Love you. And we were brought to you by Dell. Back to School starts now. Get long-lasting battery life on the Dell XPS laptop powered by Series 3 Intel Core so you can work from anywhere. Now starting at $699 with exclusive student pricing starting at $599, and it's lightweight, portable, and packed with enough processing power to make multitasking. a breeze. So say goodbye to distractions and hello to more free time because you finished your work faster. Complete your setup with savings on select monitors and more must have electronics and accessories. Limited time deals and free shipping on PCs and more await you at Dell.com slash deals. That's dell.com slash deals. This episode of the pod is brought to you by Quince.

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For a free trial, when you're ready to launch, use offer code Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hello. Hi, how are you? I'm good, thanks. My name is Danielle. How are you? Good, Daniel.

Feels like we're on your podcast a little bit. But where you're going on today? My name is Jacob. There was a book above me. It would be I look sharp and quince. shirts. Yes. My name's Gareth, and if there were a book about me, it would be I wish I'd put my quince on. Jake looks a thousand

times better. If there was a book about you, it would be, you could get it and I adopted a chimp with Jake and Gareth on our website. And I'm me, whatever our thing is for quince, it, Danielle, you don't know this right now, but I'm wearing a quince black t-shirt and I look sharp. And people probably listen to this and they're like, oh my God, these guys, this

is not an ad. We just genuinely off air, like, these clothes are the best. Anyway, Danielle, where are you calling from? I'm calling from New York. New York, you ever worn any quince, Danielle? You know what's funny actually? Wait, hold on. Hold on. What's funny actually, Danielle? I mean, it's really not that funny.

But my husband just bought me pajamas from quince. I got to say, if you're looking for gifts for a guy, get him the quince black t-shirts. Truly. Perfect. Do you like some pajamas? No pressure. We'll cut it out if you say no. We're done with a quince commercial.

Yeah, we're done with it, Danielle. Drop it already. Danielle, where in New York are you from? I'm sorry. She's obsessed with Quince. Go ahead. I'm sorry, what did you say? Where in New York are you from?

Oh, I'm from the Hudson Valley. Ah, the Hudson Valley. And around how old are you? 33. 33. And if there's something you want to tell us about you that you think could be helpful, do it. If not, get right to the meat and potatoes of this call. Oh, shit.

Sorry. No, let's just get into it. All right. Um, all right. So some background, starting in about 20, 23, a group of college students, uh, moved into our neighborhood and have caused a routine chaos. Um, so, so I live with my husband, like I mentioned, our seven month old daughter on the second floor of our house and the first floor, my sister lives.

Um, and we are directly next door to these college students who are actually teammates and have passed down the least. to the past to future teammates. So it has become like year after year a issue. Yeah, basically. So a couple of extreme examples. I mean, like all of these things have spanned the entire, you know, school year. So in the spring and summer, they've had parties where they're like screaming and screeching

until like wee hours of the morning. They've had their male party guests. We've bottles of pee on the hoods of the cars on our dead end hill. They're parked cars all the way down the block, blocking driveways. And then I don't know if you guys heard, but this past winter was really tough in New York. We had so many huge storms. And so we coordinated the nights before to have all the cars on our streets actually move and park elsewhere just so that we can allow the plows to come up because they were having difficulty coming up. And in the final hours, one student parks at the very very.

bottom of the hill and prevented the plows were coming up for two full days. So I, four months postpartum, dug out this girl's car with our only ally in the house. And she was just asleep. The girl that owned the car is just asleep in the house and did not say a single thing since then about, you know, just a thank you. Anyway, so my question is how do we assert dominance and in sure respect is grandfathered in specifically to the next generation of teammates that inevitably take over this lease. I grew up in this neighborhood.

My parents live on the street. So we just, you know, we're trying to earn that respect. So Daniel, this is a great setup. You did a wonderful job. Let me ask you a couple quick questions. What type of team, male or female? So it is a female, I think lacrosse or feel hockey?

Yeah, one of those two. Okay, so it's females playing lacrosse and how many ladies are living in there? Rochelle, you know what I'm going to do? I'm not going to give them the dignity to call them ladies. How many girls are there? Yeah. Thanks, Gary. You're welcome.

You're right. You look really good, by the way. I'm wearing quix. What? It's a quick shirt. This isn't a commercial. This is about Danielle. First, I've heard of it.

Go, Daniel. I look sharp. That's great. And it's comfortable. It's easy to wear. It's easy to wear. Yeah, exactly. I feel like I'm on a girls lacrosse.

team in the Hudson Valley messing with Danielle. Yeah. And I'm also looking professional enough that I could be at a lawsuit that Danielle puts together to beat the girls. I didn't wear quits today. I look like I'm peeing in the bottles and leaving it on cars. That's exactly right. We're doing cosplay.

I'm the lawyer. You're one of the lacrosse girls. Okay, Danielle. Yeah. Please continue. I think they're about five or six. Enough. And I'm talking to you, Daniel.

We get it. You like quints. Go ahead. You're in your penis. I'm so bad. I'm going to get this quince shirt off for me so we can get focused. Yeah, I would keep it on. You look fantastic.

Of course I do. All right. Enough with the quince commercials. Go ahead, Danielle. Okay. I think they're about five or six teammates. And I actually mentioned the one that we're an ally with, I mean, with one of them. But she's actually a grad student at this point.

So she's been in the house for a few years. But she and I dug out the one girl's car. So I think there's five or six. six of them. And they have like five or six cars, which is kind of one of the other bigger issues that they take over all the parking on this dead end street. But that's, that's not the reason for the call. All right. So I think we have a very clear picture. And so to specifically get into what you want help with, Danielle, because there's a lot of roads we could go down here. You were saying, because my first pitch would be, you've seen the movie neighbors, right? Yeah. Yeah. We got to

And also, when I see this as a premise for a movie and you're the first 10 minutes, well, the end of the first act is we got to get them out. Yeah. We got to get them out. But I don't know if that's your question. You were saying something about get respect. So walk me through that logic so we can pitch on that. Yeah, yeah.

So I mentioned we've grown up in this neighborhood. I mean, we left and came back. My parents live here. Like, we've been in this neighborhood for a long time. It's never been a college neighborhood ever. And that's fine that it's like, I guess this one house has become that. I mean, it's not fine, but you know what I mean. And so it's more about just like, just like respect the neighbors,

but respect the fact that like we're right next door. We've helped you out. You know, like we've cleaned up the garbage that's rolled down the hill. You know, like we've dug your cars out. Like, just a level of respect. But, Daniel, I would stop the guilt stuff a little bit because that's not going to play with college girls. You've got a great case. We're completely on your side.

But you lean into a lot of we dug it out. She never said anything. We cleaned up the guard. This is not mom to kids. Yeah. You're not talking to fellow adults. Yeah. So once it's going to happen is they're going to get defensive and be like,

fuck that bitch. Yep. So, but there is a way to win, but I think from here on out, let's cut that limb off of the guilt and all the stuff you've done and nothing they've done. But we do have something about the neighborhood. And we do have something about the history of the neighborhood. My first pitch and my first thought is a PowerPoint presentation of the history of the neighborhood and your family in the neighborhood that you do with other neighbors. And you are welcoming them into the neighborhood, but you're reminding them that this isn't the dormitories.

And you have every right to be here. You are a renter in the greatest country in the world, and that's America. And you have the right to rent here. But can we tell you a little history of the street? And I'm talking about PowerPoint presentation of you guys as little girls on the street. Hmm. I'm talking about music.

Well, now you're starting to get to where I'm going. I'm pulling on heartstrings. You are compelling. I think when we go back to the point of you're not, these are not, they're not ready for the adult world. I would go honey over vinegar. I would say maybe what we need to do is every semester, whatever it is,

you bite the bullet and you do a we give you a barbecue to welcome you to the new semester and in that time you're also imparting that have a good time you are in a neighborhood we're your friends but there are certain rules so you're going to have my opinion you bite the bullet and you go over there at the start of the semester you say we live in the neighborhood we We, you know, we want to, and you just start a tradition of a barbecue or some pizzas or something at the start of every semester. And they meet your daughters? Yes. They meet, in all these girls, you have them hold the baby?

I think if you go over there and you kind of give that familial touch, it'll not only be, they'll not only feel. If any of them ever want to earn extra money as a babysitter? Yeah. Oh. Well, this is what I think. Because once they know the world, they'll go like, hey, guys, we got to quiet down. Janie goes to bed at 845. Yeah.

I'm in that house. I'm just thinking back to when I was that age, I would listen to someone who I was like, that person's awesome. I feel the same way, Gareth. And by the way, not that age, you still would. Yeah, still would, honestly. If somebody goes, if I come in and somebody goes, hey, you know what? You're being really loud. I'm going to be louder.

Yeah. If somebody goes, hey, I didn't. all these nice things for you, you didn't do anything. I'm going to be a little bitchy 21-year-old girl on a lacrosse tape. If somebody goes, hey, welcome to the neighbor, blah, blah, blah. If you ever need anything from us, if we're ever being, we have babies here, we have kids. So if you ever hear the kids crying, just let us know, you know, if we could just be really neighbor-like this, I know you guys are college kids and I was too, so I want you to enjoy

yourself. Yeah. But this is really a neighbor. I grew up here. I hope to stay here most of my love. My whole family's here. You know, I've known these neighbors. Carol down the streets, 82. God bless her.

If you're starting that with, let us feed you on a Saturday. Let us, like, give you a good time on a Saturday. And you get a couple more neighbors and you just say, you are owed an apology, but you're not going to get it. So you're just trying to get ahead of the next incident that's going to chap your ass. And, D, let me give you another option here. Yep. Play real estate agent.

Find another option. closer to campus and get a flyer for it and leave it there. Yeah. I don't hate that. And say, you just picked this and it's easy, that's closer and bigger and put it right on the door. Yeah. And say, I like that. Maybe I could help you pack.

It's two-pronged strategy. That's your long-term play. And maybe your short-term play is going over there, killing them with kindness a little bit. I mean, the other thing is if you can find someone you know and like who can pay a little more than what they're paying, you know. Yeah, yeah. Might be a back burner. Danielle? Yeah.

We throw a lot of spices in this gumbo. What do you like and what are you not liking? Because we can take some of this stuff out. Here are the customer. No, I mean. I, yeah, I mean, I hear you. I don't, we actually haven't said anything specifically about, like, you know, coming by or anything like that.

So I'm open to that for sure, you know, in terms of like doing that every time a new sort of teammates comes in, like, I don't know. I also don't know if they're going to want to hang out with their, like, older neighbor. They're not going to want to hang out with you. They're going to want free things from you. You're bribing them. Yeah, exactly. This is paid to play.

Yeah, totally. So, yeah, I mean, I'm definitely open to that. And you're right. Like everyone, you know, doesn't mind hanging out with, like, a dog and a baby from time to time. So I feel like that should be okay, too, like show her around. But, yeah, I do like the idea of the flyer of just kind of like, hey, here are some other options if it were to come to that point. I got a crazy. I mean, yeah, like it would be like a tooth wrong.

Yeah, go ahead. I got a crazy one, too. She's not in love with it, so go. Well, I mean, but I think it's all we're getting to the zone. We might need, look, Gareth, you and I don't know karate, but what do we know? Well, Jake, we've talked about it before. We know crazy. So here's my pitch.

You make up a fake relative who's living with you. Who's on hospice. Oh, God. You never mention aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, mom, dad. you just say, hey, you go there, you put Vizene in your eyes, you rub the eyes underneath so you're all tearing, and you go with like muffins and a candle. Okay.

Can we help you? And you go, I just want to let you guys know, we've got a relative of the family who's really sick, and they're going to be staying with us through their passing. They're going through a lot of treatments. Again, you guys are just college students. This heavy burden is not on your girls' shoulders winning. Lacrosse games is.

I just ask for the next period of time until her passing if we can. And again, girls, it's not just to you, it's to everybody. If we could try to keep things, he's having a real heart, having a real hard time sleeping. And these treatments are medieval. But we're doing the best we can And this isn't going to be forever Unfortunately, I wish it was, I love her

But until she passes, I'm just asking for as much grace As you got in you if you don't And you're a 21-year-old girl and you say, F you, Danielle And you want a pissing bottle, girl, I get it I'm just asking if you could think about my memo And you go like this, but again, girls, I'm doing this to everybody in the neighborhood. Yeah.

I like that. I have another twist on the Karazi. Talk to me. Okay. Is there any way that we can convince them that maybe like a murder happened in that house? Haunt the motherfucker. And the house is like haunted. There's some stuff in there.

I honestly, Daniel, this sounds like we're making a joke. I think that's a great idea. idea. It would, that seems like a joke. It ruins the vibe. Yes. And then Danielle, it turns fun for you and you start doing stuff where like if they close a window, you walk by, you open it. You put something where they go like, they just start going like, this fucking place is weird. Well, you know what you start with? To their TV outside the window and you start changing the channel. That, that's great. I mean, look, we're talking about it, but how it could. start is you could draw up a little fake paperwork where this house is going to be commemorated

because of careful about the internet here they can do a lot of research look I'm just saying I know but I don't want to pitch it because one of these 21 the all every single kid is Columbo because of the internet yeah you're right and they're better than us and they're better than us right he's right he's right whenever I try to lie to my kids within within two two seconds my kids go like this. That didn't happen and that happened in Japan. And I go like this, I was lying. I didn't realize you have, what Eric hates about bars is you have evidence. But Daniel, what do you think about the idea of planting the seed that there's something weird about the house and the energy kind of sucks and it keeps getting worse while you're doing the

real estate routine? So they just go, yeah. We have really bad luck here. Like, the air of my left tire and my car is always drained. I would maybe get like ground beef and start putting it by a certain part of their door so like raccoons and rats start showing up. Oh. I mean, if we're talking about ground beef in the roof, I'm not walking away from the conversation. And then if you start doing like, you do like milk and you try to put it in like a crawl

space under so they're like, what's that smell? And they're like, there was a glass of milk. I mean, there is a spectrum of pitches here, Danielle. It really is. How much do you want to do karate and how much do you want to do crazy? Yeah. You know, that house is actually on a plot of land where an older house was knocked down because there were some kind of weird stuff going on there.

So, I mean, it kind of plays into it. And, I mean, I know that my husband and my sister would be down to do these shenanigans with me. So I think I'm leaning towards doing some of this crazy stuff. Okay. Good. We like that. what what version of it are you thinking about are you thinking about trying to add some sort of

spookiness are you thinking that you like like jake said you have the pragmatic real estate approach but then on top of that you know nothing wrong with making the ice feel a little thin over there so let's start you know you start spitballing a little bit yeah yeah so kind of combining a couple those things you guys said, like maybe having a barbecue and telling some of the stories of, like, the weirdness that was going on next door. And, and just like picking up, like, oh, yeah, we found this, like, a couple years ago, I found this outside, found out of time. And then, like, start to leave some of those things, like, maybe over time, I've no idea

what those things are going to be. But, Danielle, it becomes a fun thing. That's right. Yes. Yeah. So let's do this. Right off the top of your Jack, Gareth and I are the girls. You come over and start it.

Okay. All right. So I'm going to invite you guys to the barbecue. That's the first thing I'm doing it, right? But in real life, are you going to do a barbecue? Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think that's how I start. Okay, perfect.

You invite them over so you're being nice and there you start talking about the weirdness. Yeah, yeah. Because you grew up in some of the weirdness. Dude, how about this? So that it's not a murder because you grew up there, you talk about it. You talk about like the old guy who used to live there, how he used to have black. out curtains and he used to paint the windows black and go like as kids we were all so afraid of that house it was like it's so funny that you guys are there that was like the haunted house well also

it's like you you used to talk about how he buried victims in the backyard like there was a whole long but the whole backyard what you know is a fact it was an a pet cemetery he buried his because he had so many my uncle does that that's not crazy but like he had so many dogs and cats that like so many animals were buried back there, but he also had like random and you're like, I don't know if they were junkies or, but they were just people around that all of a sudden would disappear, but their cars would be there. And then he would always be shoveling. Here's what I like.

But nobody ever came looking. I love that we're making this guy the neighbor from home alone, pet cemetery. I'm going to go a step further. And I think there's upside to either way of this. If you just, and this is not going to sound good when it comes out of my mouth, but if you just get some smaller bones, like femurs, tibias. I agree with this. And a couple months after the barbecue, you just have a couple of them under the stairs

when they walk in. One of them notices, best case, they're going, holy shit, there are animal bones under this place. And worst case, they go, if they're trying to run us out of town, I don't want to be here. These people are throwing bones under stairs. Yeah, that's a win-win. And I love it.

I think, like I said, it's like, it's fun. And also it keeps it a little bit lighter than us just like, you know, like you guys said, like I don't want to just be horrible neighbors. So, yeah, I'm into this for sure. So then walk us through, you drive the train a little bit and you want to role play or just talk about it like it's a short story. What do you prefer? Well, there's a bunch of them.

So I can just, I guess I can just kind of short story it so that I imagine I'm going to be like, Hold in court. So let's do this. Hold court. Let us know. Tell the audience about the story of Danielle and the neighbors. What are you going to do? And then when you follow up with us, you're going to recap at this.

William, we're going to ring the bell after. All right. All right. Yeah, I'll give you a quick overview. So, um, all right. Go ahead. Take a second. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. So, all right, guys. So growing up, we, you know, lived in this neighborhood. My grandparents built the house that were currently living. living in and we had these neighbors next door that had so many dogs, so many cats. There was constantly, you know, barking and so many noises coming from the inside. They were always leaving the front door wide open.

Dogs would be like running around on the street. A couple times we saw some people passed out in the cars. Kind of gave like a junkie vibe. And, you know, unfortunately, it did seem like they were. once a dog or cat passed away, they were kind of burying them in the backyard. We never wanted to walk by. You know, there are some stairs that, you know, connect the top of the hill to the other part of the street. And we would always avoid going up and down those stairs because we felt like they were looking out the window.

But, yeah, I don't know if you guys have seen anything kind of weird in that backyard or anything like that, but just wanted to, I don't know how I'm going to end it. Great. The details are phenomenal. I think it's a great start. I do too. You know what I wouldn't be afraid to do, Danielle? Playfully talk about how and have an image of your head of who he was.

But it was, it's crazy that that house is now like a fun house. It was this scariest house ever. And your parents who built said it was scary before. And we used to always think of it as like, and then go like, can I ask you girls a question? Does anything ever weird happen there at night? Like, it was always the haunted house. And they're like, now it doesn't even seem like that. It seems like painted and nice.

Yeah. But what's so crazy about this neighborhood is like it used to be all of us were afraid of it. Like Halloween. Yeah. People would like, and I was like, so can I just ask you guys? Like, does anything happen weird there? And what you're trying to do is you're trying to get them to. be like, ew.

Yeah, I love the door open dogs in and outs. I like burn, I mean, I don't like it, but the pitch of burning dogs, burying cats. Yeah, there would be like, he sometimes wouldn't leave the house for weeks like he went crazy in there. The city was trying to get into his place because he was an animal hoarder. But everything's got to be, I think. Yeah, that's what we used to say. Have you guys noticed any of that stuff? There would be like police there a lot.

Yeah. And they, and he was fighting. the city all the time, that sort of stuff. We think he died in the house, but we don't know. Nobody knows. But like there used to be like, there used to like truly be like weird smells. Yes. Yeah, yeah, this, this is fun.

Okay. I think this could really work. I do too. All right. So, Danielle, will you follow up with us what you do? Yep. Yeah, definitely. I mean, we're hoping to do it ASAP.

Yeah, get your husband on the same page too. Have like detailed stories to the. It can be like, you know, a few of you were throwing it out there. Yeah, for sure. Awesome. Thank you guys so much. Thanks, Daniel. Go get them.

Thank you. Hello. Hello. Hi. Welcome back. What was the first call? What's your name? Update us.

Thank you. So my name's Deney. Initially, I had called in with a best advice story, actually. And then it kind of turned into a conversation about how I was smoking cigarettes and needed to stop within the year. I remember this. So this was back in October. Okay. So remind us what happened you were a smoker.

I remember I got mad at you. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. I had talked about how my friend made her husband empty his wallet if he ever bummed a sick off of somebody. And so I would like offer if he had cash in his wallet, I'd offer him. one and then you guys were like, why do you have bigs and you should stop doing that? Okay, so what's going on?

What's the update, Big Dog? Ring the bell. You quit smoking? Yeah. For how long? We freaking did it. We freaking did it. Well, so March 25th was the last, my last pack.

It's only April 17th. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Yes. I mean, this has been going on for six months. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so walk us through, Deney. It does.

It does. So I tried everything. I tried Berg's advice to push back my morning cigarette by an hour periodically and just kept rebounding. And then finally, I mean, my friends were great accountability buddies. Every time I tried to bum a cig off of one of them when we were out, they were like, no, she has to quit. It's for the podcast. But I know, but what actually ended up doing it was anytime I smoked, I made myself listen to Love Story by Taylor Swift's Scooter Bronze version for the duration of the time that I was smoking. I swear to God, it took three days.

Three days. That's pretty smart. That's great. Now, you're over three weeks, which is when I believe the physical addiction leaves, are you still thinking about cigarettes? Not really. I mean, honestly, the association, like, and I don't want to get hate from the Swissies, so that's why I specifically chose Scooter Bronze Version because I'm an ally. But, yeah, I think the association, I would have, I had, like, Nicorette gum for the fuse, for, for, for, the first few days to like tied me over but I will say since then I had a birthday and then I moved the same week that I that my dissertation proposal was due so I've cheated a couple of

times but it's only as a little treat and I'm not buying that I'm not sending my own money on them wait wait wait wait hey hey get oh I know so March 25th you quit but you've smoked since but you've had them on your birthday and dissertation and moving day yeah but like don't ring the bell don't ring the bell no no no it's not accurate it's not accurate it's just not listen you you're fucking flexed about the account of bill of buddies cheats count okay oh no no no hold on that's all cool out now here's what we're going to say is if you call us in two months and you haven't had one then you are right. Then, not only are you right, let's do two things here, maybe, Jake. Let's set a punishment and a reward. I think I know what the reward can be. What's the reward? A Steve Berg autographed

calendar. Highly motivational. Okay. The pause was incredible. The delivery was 10 out of 10. I was worried at the pause. I mean, just 10 out of me too. And shall we set a punishment? And I do you need a punishment? And I do have an idea. Okay. So I had actually proposed this when I was like struggling in the six months between our first call and now. I had initially proposed this to, I think, Jesse. But then I kind of chickened out.

I have this ring that has my cat's baby teeth in it. It's like a pill box ring. And it is, I think that we could, I. We could do a couple of ways if this has to do with the punishment. I could either send it to you guys and I only get it back if I quit or if I don't quit, I have to send it to you guys at the end of the two months. How about this? Or a secret third thing.

How about that? I like that a lot. If you end up smoking in the next two months, we'll get you Steve Berg's PO box. You got to send it to him and he's going to hold it until you've quit for a year. Okay. If you cheat one time. the year starts over. Yep.

Okay. Quitting's quitting. Quitting's quitting. And by the way, don't fucking smoke. You can get a free calendar and you get to keep the cat teeth, which has value to you.

Yeah. Don't smoke. You're close. It's the cheating. The cheating is what happens. You need to reset your mind to be like you can't have any. Any is cheating.

Okay. Okay. How bad you want a calendar of a chunky hunk on your wife? wall. Extremely badly. All right. I need it.

Well, this is it. So follow up with us and we'll move forward. Yep. But your subject in Eno is great success and that's not accurate. Oh, but hey, I think we can take a little win. It's not a total win. Maybe we're not ringing the bell yet. Deney, listen, it's a good start to a bell ring, but my hand's not even on the string.

Oh, okay. Come on now. Lock in. Okay, we're locking in. Get that chunky hunk on your wall. I need my cat's teeth. However you've got to say. There's so much going on here, I just got to get off the call.

We'll talk to you later. Okay, thanks, guys. Bye. Hey, everybody, we just want to remind you if you want to watch new episodes of We're here to help. It drops a day early on Hulu. so you can watch the new episode a day early, and we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes

from season one and season two, so get involved. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, You can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash Here to Help Pod to see our entire catalog.

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelicki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to Gareth Reynolds.com.

Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast. Hey everyone, this is Whitney and Alexong, aka the popcorn queen and king. Hey guys, we just wanted to thank you so much for all the love and support you've shown our family. As many of you know from episodes 224 and 231, we're navigating Alexan's second kidney transplant journey. And that journey has really inspired us. to create the Arana Kidney Recovery Foundation.

That's right. The foundation helps transplant families with everyday expenses during recovery so they could focus on what's most important, healing. Now, whether it's lodging, transportation, groceries, or other essential expenses, we're here to help lighten the load. If you'd like to support our mission,

you can learn more or donate at A-R-A-N-A-K-R-S-R-E. That's iranakrf.org. That's iranakrf.org. Thank you so much for being such an incredible community. And thank you for always being there to help. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan.

And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episode. with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes.

A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to F***. Coming to F***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

Welcome to Jackass the podcast. A new show now on Headgum. Woo-hoo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to roll. Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions.

All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones. I think this committed Jackass the podcast. What was it going to be called? The Jackass podcast.

Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-O. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in cloud makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Pontius. That shot of your butt just cruising out. I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us.

Dave, England. Yeah, when you come in. and you're being really nice. I'm like, damn it, something bad's going to happen to me. Wee man. Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning.

I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet form. Every time. Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo!

Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes.