We're Here to Help - 303: You Got the Stink on You (with Lamorne Morris)
Episode Date: July 1, 2026Lamorne Morris stops by the show to help the guys eliminate a nasty odor at church. Plus, an update from Ep 229 "Muffin Beef."Want to call in? Email your question to helpfulpod@gmail.com.PATR...EON: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a headgum podcast.
This is a headgum podcast.
And we are back.
Gareth, we got an email.
It's about the term, pay the toll.
that people don't like, we have made an adjustment,
but there is an audio connected.
This is from A.M. Colwell, it says,
it's a toll, pay the toll with love.
Let's hear it together.
I don't know if it's positive or negative.
I haven't heard it, but let's use a little bit of this intro
to hear what a period and period says about pay the toll
and let's react in real time and see what happens.
How does that sound, sir?
That sounds great.
And I just, again, I mean, it was an easy, short,
hand way for the listeners to know that we and the audience are invested in the future of this.
Jesse?
That's all it was.
Whenever you're ready, sir.
In the most loving way possible, you used to call it a toll, which makes sense.
Now you've started calling it a tap, which makes no sense.
It's a toll, guys, pay the toll.
Audience has really been pinpointing and it happened with the 300th with our friend who's
got the taking too many dumps in a day problem and we told me they're the hospital
while at the hospital I think people just think we're stupid it's it's it's I'm sure you
I've received it's where someone's very comfortable so they'll just be like idiot idiot
Yeah, dummy.
Like, there in there, there was no, uh, there were no mittens on that punch.
No, and it was just fully a, hey, dummy.
It's a tall, yeah.
Hey, I love the show.
I really think it's a good idea.
I just think there's some nuance to, it's, hey, dumbass.
It's a toll, not a tab.
So we have recently switched from toll to tab.
I don't know how it happened, but it's happened.
Show evolves, babe.
My guess is that if we say pay the toll, we're going to get an equal amount of shit.
But what I like is we can now put it on this person.
And you know what else we're talking about when you said the show evolves, babe?
We're going to softly announce something right now that's premature.
Very premature.
Who cares?
Okay.
If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
Well, we're pretty much...
We're applying a pressure on her right now.
We've got...
We're going to do...
We pretty much have a date...
Great.
...in the great Catherine Reitman and Gareth
are going to start doing some calls together.
And we're going to release them occasionally on Friday.
We're just going to see.
Well, I...
If we're doing premature...
Let's be premature.
I can tell you that I...
I've been talking a little bit back and forth about how to make it a little different.
Talk to me.
I don't even, I think she kind of liked this pitch.
I mean, we could have her on for a little pitch session.
But what I do, the intro is going to end in a couple of minutes.
So just give us a little taste of the premature.
I was thinking it could be a we're her to help.
And it's more problems that skew feet.
where I'll be a dunce who doesn't understand a little bit about some of the stuff.
So Cat is in a little bit more of a knowledgeable role.
Still problems, legit problems, whatever it is.
Here's what I don't love about it.
Okay.
It's putting her in the spot to be the reasonable one and you're the silly one.
But I still think, I still think we're going to have crazy calls.
I know, but I don't want the dynamic to be she's doing it and Gareth is doing all the jokes.
I don't either.
It won't.
Yes, you do.
No, I really don't.
I think Cat is so fucking...
The only thing, the only problem with that is if she's in a spot where she has to always be like,
you know what that really is a problem.
And then when you talk, it's the dunes.
Think about it.
Think about it like this.
Okay.
Our show?
Yeah.
Rarely are we going at the caller.
I mean, for the most part, we're bantering back and forth.
Two dunces.
And we're jabbing back at each other.
Yes.
And that stuff.
That is, uh, that happens to cats.
and I went on the phone, when texting, when she's been on the show.
So I think that element, it's really just trying to maybe find another zone for an angle.
I don't think it's necessary.
I think it's just you create a title that's different, that's you guys.
But it's, you know, we're taking calls of solving problems.
And it's a little bit more, you know, what were we, the rat, the cat, the cats,
and the dog?
Yes.
It's the rat and the cat.
Well, I will say the subject line to the email I sent to Natalie was rat and cat pod.
It's like, and then, you know, it could be something beginning with relationship things because it's a guy and a girl's point of view.
But I would also keep it totally open to whatever the fuck happens.
Well, the first, where you have one in the books.
Great.
And so she's into it.
We'll see how it goes.
Like we did with Weird as well.
Comment, give us thoughts, let us know what we think.
We are always trying to evolve and grow the show and change the show because that's fun for us.
If you just like listening to the main show, always Monday and Wednesday.
But I would say, I can give it a shot.
I think we've had a cat is always mentioned as one of the goats of the show.
Love her.
Yes.
She is the best.
So everybody?
Enjoy some hats.
Oh, no.
Pay the toll.
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Yeah.
Hello.
Bye.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I got you perfectly.
hear me beautiful yes i can is this a follow-up or a first call this is a follow-up okay great can you
tell us your name what your call was and then i'm gonna tell you who's here because you got a special
one on the follow oh my goodness yes you got lemorn morris he couldn't wait you got fucking lamorn morris
she's like who she knows who she's like this you got the king
I'm thrilled.
It should be thrilled.
You want to hear a quick thing that LeMorne told me earlier about Dubai?
Absolutely.
Hey, LeMond, what happened in Dubai, my man?
What happened in Dubai?
Oh, I got propositioned by a woman.
I couldn't see her face, though.
She was wearing a job.
Did you take it?
No, I didn't because I was thrown off.
He told me that Dubai's crazy because...
It's every woman that...
Not every woman that I met, but the majority, if they're workers, sex workers.
like real estate agents.
You can be a real estate agent
instead of showing you a house
she's trying to show you that
for a fee.
Do you believe this to be true?
It's a long pause.
I'm asking you the caller.
Yes, hi, it's Margaret.
Oh, Margaret!
So Margaret is another...
Margaret is from Dubai.
Margaret is from Iceland.
Margaret is from Iceland.
Okay.
Margaret wanted to know which accent to use
because she can do a bunch of different natural accents, correct, Margaret?
Yes, exactly.
So Margaret is also really funny.
Margaret, will you give Lamorne a taste of your different accents
that you use in real life?
Absolutely.
Do you want to feed me a line?
LeMorne, will you feed her any line?
She'll say it in all her different accents.
I just booked the ticket to Dubai
and I'm making sure I bring toilet paper.
All right.
So the one that was voted my most natural one, I guess, was international, just a medium.
Let's hear that.
So I just bought a ticket to Dubai and I'll make sure to bring toilet paper.
Now, can we hear your Icelandic one?
Remember you had one that was very Icelandic?
I just put a ticket to Dubai and I'll make sure to bring my toilet paper.
And then you had another one.
What was the other one?
the UK
Can we hear the UK one?
I've just bought a ticket to Dubai
and I'll make sure to bring toilet paper
and Margaret I hate to do this to you
but Lamarne just asks can we hear it in Jamaican
No you cannot
Please just commit you're good at this stuff
Please
No
Can we hear it in Jamaica?
Blood clad me just bought my blood clot ticket to Dubai
May I get my toilet paper?
May I get my Bamba Claude toilet paper?
My Ross-Claude toilet paper.
That's good.
Jet Hanks' is better.
He's got such a good Jamaican accent.
Jamaican people are like this.
Oh!
Such an accent.
They copy him in schools.
So Margaret.
Be gone to Dubai.
not getting up.
Miss Margaret, what is happening with this follow-up?
Tell us what's going on.
We picked the more middle one, correct?
Yes, the community did.
The community did.
People voted.
And where are we at?
What's been going on here, Killer?
It's been really good.
I've genuinely been trying to stick to it.
Yeah.
And I mean, it gets to be tough.
I work with a lot of Ukrainian refugees.
Okay.
So I have to focus.
Why?
Because you want to just copy their accents?
It would happen if I didn't have one to stick to, yes.
So can you say it in a Ukrainian accent, how that would sound?
I just want to do it by and I'm going to...
This is such a slippery slope.
Why?
I don't know.
It feels wrong.
To...
To do it in Ukrainian?
I don't know.
At least I don't think so.
You're doing all these other accents.
Kind of offensive to Ukrainians that you want to?
do it.
The Ukrainians are like, we're people too.
You should mock us.
Sure.
All right, then fine.
Do it in Jamaican.
Yeah.
Ukrainian or Jamaican, Margaret, you pick.
Three, two, one.
Let's hear one of them.
You guys are the worst.
No.
All right.
What about like a Nigerian?
Do you have a Nigerian?
I don't know.
Let's hear it.
You can try it.
I can't.
Gareth can't.
I am on my way to Dubai.
but I have to make sure I get my toilet paper.
Good.
Because when I am there, they are going to take a poop on my chest.
And I do not want them to take the poop.
Nobody wants the poop on the chest.
Because you got the poo and it does not smell good.
He's still the poo guy.
But you know who that reminded me of?
I just saw this Instagram clip of this guy who said
white documentarians in what they film in Africa.
And it would be this like beautiful building.
And the guy would go like, no.
And there would be one homeless guy
And he would push it and go, yes
And they'd be like three six-saddle people
And he'd be like, no
So Margaret, you're saying
The follow-up is that it's working
The community voted correctly
And things are good
It's pretty good
And for the people where I was like
Really slipping in between them at school
I then just showed them the episode
Oh, really?
Yes.
And what did they say?
They loved me.
What did they think about the episode overall and the vibe of the show?
Who cares?
They loved her.
You seen a bump in the Iceland numbers?
No.
All right, it's fine.
So you showed it to some people in your world and they loved you.
Yes, a select few.
This feels positive, Margaret.
Great.
It's really good.
This is a bell ring.
I'm genuinely very happy.
Okay, good.
This is a nice win, Margaret.
It's a bell ring.
You were a great caller.
You are a great caller.
Thank you.
I'm part of the community.
I lost the helpies.
I know.
You were nominated.
Before we go really fast,
and I've heard a lot of nose from you today,
and that is not you, Margaret.
You are a shooter.
You are a bullet and a gun.
It just fires without thought.
I just need to hear really fast.
I'm going to Dubai.
I got to bring my toilet paper with your best Jamaican accent.
And three, two.
Lamar do it first.
Yes.
May I on my way to Dubai and I have to bring my toilet paper.
Three, two, Margaret, go.
I can't.
Just don't even think.
Just see what happens.
If it's bad, it's fine.
Lamarne, one more time.
How about this?
A new sentence, Lamarne.
Just copy what you're hearing.
A new sentence?
Whatever you want to say.
Okay.
If you find yourself, if you find yourself in Dubai,
You have to make sure that there is toilet paper near.
Ooh.
It's consistent.
It's essentially the same sentence.
What is the deal with it?
I think Lamar is trying to send us a message through a Jamaican accent.
Lamarne got tired.
Okay, I'll try.
One more.
I'll try another.
Three, two, Lamar and.
If you're gone to invest in a company,
you have to make sure that it is a toilet paper company
because you never know when the flight will get derouted to Dubai.
Much easier.
At this point, Margaret, you should at least know how to say toilet paper and a Jamaican accent.
So, Margaret, you don't have to be word perfect, but let's not.
You know me.
I'm going to stay on this until we can get out of the call and whatever the accent is.
So just please.
In three, two, come on, Margaret.
What do you got?
A gal from Jamaica, go.
If you find yourself.
I think we got a new action.
I can't.
Three, two, one, just commit.
Three, two, and what do you got, Jamaica?
If you find yourself invested in a company.
The more teacher, teacher, give her the more help or coach her.
You have to say you're going on to Dubai.
Just say I'm going to Dubai.
That's it.
You just got to say that.
Practice once.
to Dubai.
Let's go.
Okay, three, two, take us to Kingston.
If you find yourself investing in a company and you go on to Dubai.
Make sure.
Make sure.
To bring.
To bring.
Your toilet.
The toilet paper.
Okay, let's go.
Now put it all together because your money in the bank.
Three, two, Margaret and Jamaica.
If you find yourself in.
investing in a company, make sure it is toilet paper.
Come on!
Three, two, and kill it.
If you find yourself investing in company, make sure it's toilet paper.
If you're going to Dubai, it's so bad.
It's so bad.
Margaret, we appreciate the call, as always.
You crushed it.
And guess what?
Now you've got a new concern.
You got a great Jamaican.
That's right.
And, and, and now you know what to do if you go to Dubai.
Yeah.
Bring yourself some toilet paper.
Most definitely bring toilet paper.
Yeah, which is a joke, by the way.
Just for the randomness of that.
Sure.
Why toilet paper, Lamar?
Because there's rumors that people go there and they get their chest shitted on.
Are there rumors or did it happen?
It's happened to some people.
Is it you?
Not me.
It's not me.
It's not me.
Why are we talking about that?
Because...
I never heard those rumors.
You never heard those rumors?
I hang out with a shitty crowd.
I ain't got with some strange.
So what did you go to Dubai for?
I went for a wedding.
Did you bring toilet?
Jake.
Yeah.
My Margaret, thank you for the call.
Bye.
Bye.
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I thought I was Beck Bennett.
No, no, no, no.
I'm Kyle Mooney.
Sorry about that.
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Thanks buddy.
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Hello.
Hello.
Hey, how are you?
I'm so good. How are you?
Good. Can we get your name, please?
Yeah, I'm going to go by Brittany.
Brittany. Where are you calling from, Brittany?
Arkansas.
Really? What's the biggest city near you?
Lerock?
Yeah, probably Litt Rock, yeah.
That's cool.
It's cool that Jake knows one city in your state, for sure.
I know.
And how old are you, Brittany?
I'm 34.
34.
And what keeps you busy day today?
What's the day look like?
What's a Tuesday look like for Brittany?
Well, I actually had twins about four months ago, and so they keep me pretty busy.
Oh, you're in it, girl.
Oh, my gosh.
Boy and a girl, two boys, two girls.
A boy and a girl.
A boy and a girl.
That's sweet.
That's awesome.
So, Brittany, you guys.
They're amazing.
They are amazing.
Are these your first?
Yeah.
You got older kids or you just got the twins?
First and only.
First and only.
No, we're done.
So, Brittany, you got a special one today.
You got Gareth and I, of course, but then you've got,
we're all living in the house this man built.
Mr. Lamorne Morris is here.
No way.
This is the best day ever.
I'm so excited.
He's here.
And guess what?
He's doing really bad pictures and he's been really wild.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
that. But he's here.
I'm sorry. Oh, I can't wait. I'm going to need some wild ones, I think.
All right. So then, Brittany, take it away and don't be afraid to gab if we interrupt.
Steamroll us. Do your thing. You got it. I can do this.
All right. So my problem is, as I serve at this pretty big church that's close to me,
and I have a friend. We're going to call her Ashlyn, because I don't want to hurt her feelings.
but my problem is that she really likes me
and so every time she sees me she gets really excited
and I like her too like we're friends
but not super close
well my problem is is that she always has B.O.
And so when she hugs me
I am then left smelling like B.O.
The armpits get on your arms and now you stink.
Yes.
A nightmare.
I have this.
Me too.
You know, you do the Christian side hug thing, so then your shoulder smells like B.O.
for the rest of the day.
But then, Brittany, everybody thinks it's you.
I know.
And it's awful.
And then somebody gets near you, and they think you have B.O. in the weirdest of places outside of your shoulder.
Is she one of those folks that doesn't believe in wearing deodorant?
Is that what it is?
You know, I don't know.
And I don't want to ask her, but maybe that's what I need to do.
I don't know.
We'll get to pitch.
Bernie, we'll get to pension.
But so what is the.
specific question we can help you with today.
I guess my question would be, how can I avoid the BL hugs or how can I possibly fix the
B.O. hugs?
Okay.
Lemoar, go ahead.
First of all, this is how you got to do what I do.
When you roll up to somebody, you have to be the initiator.
If you are allowing her to initiate the physical content.
Well, here's the thing.
It's so fast.
It is.
She just finished.
It's as if this is written.
It's impressive.
No, no, you have to.
Okay.
You have to walk up.
You have to walk up, chest high.
Hand out.
You walk up ready to shake a hand.
She's not going to slap your hand away.
She's just going to shake your hand.
This ain't a little rock, brother.
No, you walk up like this.
Hey, good to see you.
Put the hand out like it's a handshake.
And then what you do to show more love is you then, when she shakes your hand,
you then take your other hand and put it on top of her hand.
Brittany, that's interesting.
So sweet.
And that's your gentle brace.
So you're.
You lead out with the soft Christian hand thing.
What do you do with your note cards?
I'm just using my fan.
So much.
You're so wild.
She's little rock in church.
She's talking about she's getting hot.
That's to do it.
So what do you think about when you see her?
You take a period of time, not just her with everybody.
Brittany, you're not a hugger.
You're an open hand shake.
They go on top.
You're a sandwich.
your top hand sandwiches their hand.
How's her hand smell?
That's the question.
Well, we could get to that later.
It's kind of a hand-hug type thing.
But you do the hand, and it's very affectionate,
and it feels to me like that would work in an Arkansas church.
If I saw that in that Elizabeth Olson movie, I'd go, they got it right.
If you do that, maybe you convert that move to everybody,
so she sees that you've changed it up.
You don't hug anymore.
Okay.
I guess I could make that work.
Since I've had the babies, I'm trying not to be.
around too many germs.
I guess I could switch to handshaking, but I've been going to this church for a while now,
so it'd be kind of weird if I just definitely switch to shaking hands.
But I got a question for you, Brittany, and this is just about how confrontation you are
and you're willing to be.
Are you willing to say, now that you have babies, when people come, go, I'm sorry about germs,
or you say, my babies are a little bit sick, stay clear.
Now you're lying in the church.
I like that first one though
leads to it being a long time thing
you could just do that for a while
yes it can but what do you think of
would you be willing to lie at church
you better be I mean
a little white lie never hurt anybody right
never what do you think about
us creating a lie
and would you are you okay to give up
all hugs or does that feel weird
do we need it specific
I don't I kind of like hugs
you know what you could do and this might be
little bit more elaborate.
You could take, so when you hug,
her armpit is on top of your shoulder.
Is that the kind of hug?
She's bigger or taller than you or something?
Because you could take the initiative.
I'm actually taller, so I don't know how the B.O. gets on me,
but it somehow does.
Is your arm going over her arm?
I think so, yeah, most of the time.
Because you could, because I'll say what you could do is.
That's what I think, but she's saying it's going over.
Because either you hug her where you're the aggressor,
Your arms and you keep her arms at bay.
You're creating such a weird moment.
Or what you could do is you could take little deodorant cubes, put them on the outside.
Tidepot.
Whenever she hugs her, you're just rubbing her armpits with deodorant.
Brittany, I got a wild play that I think would work.
Push her in the baptism water.
New church.
Knock her in the pool.
Push her in the holy water.
How about this?
After the next hug with her, you go, oh my God, girl, I'm so sorry.
I think I just made you stink.
and she goes what and you go like this
I'm afraid oh my god did I get my B O A
Is that me? Is that me? And then you go like this
Oh my God is that me? And then you go oh my god girl if I just got my
Stink on you you go I have not been sleeping
These babies are these babies are killing me I think I got you stinking
Oh
And then she'll go like this oh don't you worry about you go oh my god I got you stinking
And you go like this I am a hot mess then she's going to smell herself
And go like this oh my god I stink
I smell like B0
She thought my be-o is her be-o.
Oh, yeah.
But you do the hug and, oh, my God, you're so tired.
You got, you got all of a sudden, you got your stink all over her, and you are so embarrassed.
And you go like this, honestly God, if there's a dry cleaning bill, please bill me.
Because that's terrible.
Because that's terrible.
Oh, my God.
It's just terrible.
I think Britain, I think I got my bad with you.
Oh, my God.
Look at what I've done to you.
Oh, my God.
I thought you smelled like Angels bread.
But now after this, because I'm a hot old mess.
Oh, my God.
I think, but Britney, for real, you do that once and you say, this is me, I'm sorry,
she's going to go, oh, girl, don't.
Don't even.
I've got kids.
Well, here's the only issue with that, Jake, is that she's going to smell herself and be like,
damn, she does stink.
Agreed.
And then spread that rumor like, you guys smell Britney?
But that's fine.
But then you know what they're going to say about Britney?
The next time they go near, they're going to go, pretty doesn't stink.
Well, I don't know.
That rumors, rumors travel fast.
Brittany, are you...
Now I know Ashley.
You're not wrong. I know Ashley.
I don't know Ashley.
She changed her name. Is that her real name?
Is that her real name?
No. No, it's a fake name.
So, Brittany, what do you think of that as a play?
Gareth, go ahead. Before you answer, go ahead.
Okay. This might just be the start of something.
But what if you gifted her and a couple of other women in church a perfume that you like?
I like this.
And you start there and you see...
if that'll catch on.
And then the next time you see her,
you can ask if she's wearing the perfume.
And if she feels guilty about it,
maybe she'll wear it the next time.
That could also lead you to a path where you do smell her
and you could maybe have a, ooh, you should.
There's a problem.
Perfume don't cover up pit stick.
It's just masks.
I was about to say that kind of sounds like a middle school boy
covering his B.O. up with acts.
I was going to say it sounds like a taxi driver in New York.
where you got Cologne,
and then you got some hot shit between those arms,
and you just go, like, open the window,
and they go, it's winter.
I had an Uber driver.
I think I told you this.
Do you work?
One of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
Just recently, while I was there,
I had a lift driver.
I was sitting like this with my foot,
and he goes, ha, is this?
He goes, ha, open window.
And I went, what?
He pointed at my foot and did this.
Your shoe stink
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Mortifying
Jake you wait
You make too much money
You're wearing
You stink old shoes
Man you're like you didn't know who you were
I smelled
I went to my friend's house
I smell my shoes
I said it's not you
I was like
This fucking dude
He got me
It hurt me so bad
I literally went like this
He goes like a
Ha pointed
They went like this
I had never been smaller
In my life
I just went like this
That is such a
I put the windows open
I put my legs down
I was just like this
We get there, go like, thank you.
I would have been like, that's not me, bro.
That's you.
Honestly, that's what you think you would say in the moment.
You just go, like this, I got smelly feet to the point of this guy's going like this.
Ha!
That is.
And it goes, ha!
I would have been like, you know, bro, you've been farting in these cushions for way too long a day.
It's you.
But here's what I think, Brittany.
It's been like butt cheeks and cheese.
It's you.
Keep going.
I'm listening.
Yeah.
I think we're starting an album or a restaurant.
The Charbonnery board
But Brittany, what do you think?
I do think there's a win here
But it's the only matter is what you think
Of the idea of when you give each other hug
You go like this, oh my God, is that me?
And she'll go what?
You go like, man, it's like if somebody goes like around
They go like this, ah, did somebody step in dog shit?
The first thing you think is, did I?
Yeah.
And everybody then checks their shoes.
If there's no dog shit, you go, it's not me.
To that, you could also say,
someone in here stinks.
Yes.
And like make it like you're casting a wide net.
And then you smell yourself and be like, I keep thinking it's me.
I think this is right.
And get her to give herself a sniff.
But all we need.
But Brittany, I do think this is.
So let's hear you talk a little bit.
What are you thinking?
You're hearing a bunch of good stuff.
I mean, the only thing is I don't know how she doesn't know that she has B.O.
You know what I mean?
Like, I've known this girl for a long time.
And so I'm like, how do you not feel?
smell it.
Because maybe no one said anything because everybody's too polite.
Can I, yeah, because I could tell you what the, honestly, this is a real answer.
What the Christian thing would be to do?
You said you've known it for a long time.
I've done this to buddies.
I did this to a friend once who's breath chronically bad.
Who?
I'm not going to say who.
No, no, I'm not going to say.
It's not Jake.
It wasn't like coffee breath or anything like, you know, it's not Kyle.
It's a different person.
That weird, Kyle.
No, it's not Kyle.
A little podcast partner.
It's not Kyle.
It's not Kyle. Just say it.
I'm not going to say who.
Kyle's breath is weird.
I'm not going to say who.
It's Damon Wayne's Jr.
I know that.
Damon smells great.
Sounds like strawberry.
And then, but you would say you pull that person to the side if that's your real friend.
Yeah.
This is not her real friend.
She said, I've known this person for a long time.
Known and real friend are different.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You clearly don't go to church.
Brittany, are you close with her?
We used to be close several years ago, but we kind of don't hang out anymore.
only see each other on Sundays or whenever we're at church events.
Your thoughts, Lamar.
But that's fine because this is your sister in Christ, which is deep.
That runs deep.
So what you need to do is pull this sister aside and say to her, listen.
Heaven help me.
Listen, say this.
Say this.
Jake's in church.
Say this.
In a real way, you say, I love you?
He's got split personality.
No, you say, I love you, girl.
I love you.
But I'm not sure if you know this, but you might want to add a little bit of extra deal.
I'm not sure if it's breaking through.
I'm telling you this on the side as your friend.
Hold on.
Brittany, will you just say that out loud the way you would say so we can hear that?
Okay.
Hey, girl.
I don't know if you know this, but I think you smell like B.O.
Did you put the odorant on today?
That's too aggressive.
Natalie hated it.
No, that's too aggressive.
You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't insult her.
You can't say she smells.
You can't insult her.
You can't insult her.
You have to suggest her.
So what did you say?
No, say, hey, say, hey, I'm not sure if you, I might say you might need a little bit more deodorant.
I'm only telling you that because I notice it.
So can you try that, Brittany, a little bit, your version.
We're doing it through Brittany's words.
You're not going to be there with her.
I know, but I want to be going to abandon her.
But you're going to abandon her.
I'm not going to abandon her.
I am her brother in Christ.
So, Brittany, one more time, can you try this and just see how it feels?
Okay
Hey girl
How are you?
Yeah
Hey I was just wondering
Could you
Maybe put on some more deodorant
When you leave the house
Oh Christ
It's terrible
You can't do that
Brittany
It's confrontational
It would hurt my feelings
That's the guy
That's the lift driver
Yeah
Garrett go ahead
Yeah
I like the words
that Lamarne pitched,
but you can't say it directly.
What if you just dropped an anonymous letter
in her mailbox that just said this?
Mean.
Mean.
But not attached to nobody.
It would work, but it would...
It's like having a booger in your nose.
I know, but it would...
I'm just telling you,
is the guy in the back of the lift...
Stinky feet?
It hurts, man.
I don't...
It didn't help.
No, I think what you guys are missing here,
you're missing a big part of this whole thing.
Man of God.
Is that she's in a community.
It is an isolated group of people that go here, a number of days a week, probably Sundays, probably got midweek Bible study.
She's known this woman for years.
Is this accurate, Brittany?
You probably got all the stuff he was just saying.
So what days do you go Sunday, probably Bible study midweek?
Is that right?
Yeah.
Right.
You have a direct connect with this person.
And one thing we can't do to our brothers and sisters is leave them out to dry.
If I got a bugger in my nose, I don't want an anonymous letter.
walk up to me and say, hey, my man, here's some tissue.
Blow that real quick.
I don't have a problem with it.
I'm only letting you know so you can go be presentable.
Hey, this is a weird thing you're doing right now.
Hey, I'm just talking.
I'm just being genuine.
This is, look.
Hey, as a brother of a small community of guys who are on a TV show together and so hang out.
Yeah.
What you're doing right now is a mistake.
It's weird.
No, it's real.
It's real.
It's not real.
Jake, this is me.
You never talk like this before.
This is me, Brittany, I need you to listen up, listen good.
Okay.
I need you listen up as good because this is me.
You got to walk up.
You got to walk up to this sister.
Hold her hand.
Don't hug her because you're going to smell like the funk.
Hold her hand and say, girl, I love you.
I love you.
But I'm going to tell you this as a sister.
I feel like there's an odor coming.
If I had the same thing coming, I want you to tell me
because I don't want to be caught out here looking bad,
smelling bad.
I need my sister to tell me.
Okay, Brittany, take over.
Let's hear that version of it.
And three, two, one, let's see what you got.
Hey, Ashlyn.
Oh, I just want to.
to tell you, I think maybe you have a little bit of BA.
I know, I forget mine sometimes.
I just was wondering, you know, do you maybe have any in your car?
Or I have not have some in my purse.
You like this, Lamarne, for real.
I'm not mad at it.
Because you direct.
I don't like it, Bray.
I don't love it, but I, what I do, I do agree with Lamorne.
If I have, if you have a booger in your nose, I agree.
I want someone to tell me rather than I go to the bathroom and go,
Oh, my God, I just had a 45-minute conversation with a booker of my eyes.
But, Brittany, now can you do, in your voice, my earlier pitch about the stink and eating from you?
Do you remember my pitch?
Yes.
Can we just hear that?
Three, two, Pigley and.
Hey, how's it going?
Oh, my gosh.
I think I have B.O.
Oh, my gosh.
Do you smell that?
That smells awful.
I am so sorry.
Shut up.
You are rancid, Brittany.
You do.
You do.
Ignore the pastor, Britney.
He doesn't work here.
Some cop.
He just tried to crack on the ground.
I, hearing that, I do like that.
I do too.
I think that could work.
I think that at least gets it out in the world.
And, Brittany, you're taking the blame.
No.
So.
No.
And I can tell you why it doesn't work.
Why?
I could tell you somebody.
What if, what if Ashley did?
knows she stinks.
What if Ashland?
Yes, but then now she's looking at you like, you fake, you phone, you know as me.
There are weird games she's playing.
Fine, you're Ashland and you know, I'll do your version of.
Okay.
But then do your version.
I'm leaving.
Your final pitch.
I'm, my final pitch, I do think Jake's pitch of pretending you're discovering you have
B.O. right next to her when it's happening and just getting it out there,
smelling yourself.
and seeing if anything comes from that.
Agreed.
It might be too hard.
Yeah, it might be.
We might have to revisit this with more pitches.
But that's where you're landing.
Yes, okay.
And then, Brittany, where are you really quickly?
Where are you landing on that idea?
Because Lamorne's a hard no on that.
I think I would rather me say that I have B.O.
But I am afraid that the rumor is going to spread, like LeMorn said.
Like, what if people start thinking that I've been?
And it's me.
The question you asked, there's too many wrongs that could,
there's too many things that can go wrong with that thing.
Okay.
With that, there's too many variables.
With you just being honest with her,
there is one outcome and one outcome only.
She knows and or she will,
that she now knows this about herself,
she's going to change it.
So I got something.
And this was an old jihitsu story.
This is a true story.
There's about 12 of us rolling.
Mm-hmm.
Fight it.
Yeah.
Rolling around.
What you meant?
There were ladies there.
You're rolling around with other ladies.
Your wife know about this?
She didn't care.
Oh, okay.
And the instructor got in front of everybody and says,
somebody stinks in here.
I've gotten three complaints.
I'm not going to call you out.
Clean your ass in your armpits.
It's disgusting.
That was it.
Nobody else was called out.
I guarantee.
I'll tell you what I had in the next day,
car that I had my car for a right guard sprayed yodern right at the last second so there could be
something that you go to the pastor and you say I don't want to get specific but there's somebody in
the community who has really bad B.O can you make it an announcement to the group to everybody
somebody has really bad BO we're not going to do a who done it we're not going to play who's
Waldo, but can everybody
clean their pits and their bottoms
a little bit better?
You don't like that, Lamar?
Here's why I don't like that.
Here's why I don't like that.
Because now this one person,
no, because now this one person
knows exactly who they are, and they
now know that everyone
has potentially been thinking about it enough
to go to the pastor.
So now everyone they look at is like,
are you the one who said? Are you the one?
Everybody said it.
If you put the onus on yourself,
because you have enough conviction to even call,
we're here to help to get this answer.
You have enough, that means you really don't like
the smell of these pits.
It's disgusting.
Walk up to her.
Put your shoulders back.
Walk up to her and say, hey, you're my sister.
I want to fix this for you.
Help you fix this.
I just want you to know you got an odor.
Okay.
So, Brittany, we had a pitch of the,
everybody gets a thing of perfume.
I would amend that
and you give a little care package
where you give lipstick,
you give deodorant.
A little deodorant.
And you give like hair scrunchies
to like 15 of the girls.
And you go,
just making a little care package
for my girls.
Everybody gets it.
The note in there goes,
and it's not specific.
You go like,
you never know what you're going to need
in the car.
Look at me being too much of a mom.
Two.
You know, like anything I'm pitching.
Because we've been together all
Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, ain't poor.
She know deodorant exists.
You think she's going to see the deodorant in the care package and go,
oh my God.
I never see this.
What is this?
What did this do?
Oh, what?
Under my heart gets.
She's not going to, this is ridiculous, Jake.
Okay.
You guys are skipping the one thing that you should just do.
Okay, Brittany, what are you interested in walking up to this woman and saying,
hey, I know you might not know this,
but I'm saying this to you as a sister,
you have a B-O problem,
and I think you should work on it.
Is that something you, because then if you are,
we can help craft the dialogue,
we could play the game.
Actually, really fast, Natalie,
can we hear your version of saying that?
I have to, I need an idea of who this would be to me, though.
Okay.
I don't know a church.
A friend you used to be.
You're not friends with anymore.
It's somebody who you work with here.
No, because she's the boss.
Yeah, that's not appropriate.
It's somebody who comes in and does podcasts.
Another host?
But like a host friend.
Oh, you know, here's what I would do.
I would say, totally made up name.
Hey, Sue.
Hey, Sue.
I would give her a hug, right?
Give her the hug.
Hey, Sue.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, no.
Is there any way that maybe you forgot your deodorant today?
I don't, I mean, no offense or anything.
I just don't want you to run around all day, you know, without deodorant.
So I have some if you need to borrow some.
That's interesting.
Brittany, your thoughts on that?
It's still so harsh, but I do get it.
No, that's like, potentially forgot.
It's never bothered me before.
You're just noticing.
What if she's one of those natural deodorant girls that even have that in your first?
That's better than, and that's better than,
And that's better than nothing.
So here's where we're off.
So here's where we're kind of at.
We've given you a bunch of different kind of pitches.
Because the next step might be how she responds to this.
Natalie's pitch is, hey, I think you might have forgotten your deodor.
I have some.
Lemore's pitch is, Sister of Christ, you have B.O.
And you got to fix this.
Same pitch, though.
I like her idea.
You do like her idea.
Yeah, it's a softer way to do it.
And it's the same.
It's being direct.
Yes.
My pitch, which I still stand by, is the, oh, girl, hey, I think I got my stink on you.
And what we're hoping is, she deep down goes, no, I got my stink on you.
And then if it happens again the next day when you hug her, you go, did I do it again?
Because I'm not putting this on anybody else.
And then she goes, I'm allergic to the aluminum in diodon.
And then you go, bitch, figure it out.
They get a baby wipe.
I don't care what you got to do.
I don't want my arms smelling bad.
So where are you leaning, Brittany?
I really do think I'm going to go with your pitch, Jake.
I like, Whitney on me.
I agree.
Oh, my gosh.
I got my stink on you.
And then, oh, that's so gross.
Kind of like shame of myself.
And then do the whole dance when you're smelling it.
You're like, oh, my God.
And then wear her armwood, you smelled there.
You're like, oh, my God.
I'm going to warn you.
I like that you're going to go with this
because you have to make a decision.
But I'm going to warn you of the downfall.
Mute him.
The downfall, she's going to know
that you are not her friend
because you're lying to her face.
When someone corrects me in real time,
Jake, you give me honest advice on my career, right?
Yes.
Like, brutal honesty.
And that's why I keep coming to you.
I respect you more than I respect people
on my team at times.
Because I know you,
the only stake you have in it
is that we're friends.
So I'm going to tell you straight up.
I'm going to tell you straight up.
Ashley will look at you with so much more
respect because no one else
has said this to her.
She's going to be like, thank you.
Here's what you miss it.
I really value you.
I care about you.
I'm not giving that to somebody
at the same quote unquote church,
aka industry.
If they go, can I get some advice?
You think I
should do it, I'll go, I go, I go, sure.
It's different.
Jake, you don't go to church.
We, this is brotherhood,
sisterhood.
It's different.
Brittany?
We got a direct link to the most high.
Uh-huh.
And the most high says,
huh, you got to see clearly
to take the plank out of your brother's eye.
What?
You know what I'm saying?
No.
Something like that.
I haven't been searching forever.
Somewhere in Matthew.
So, Brittany,
don't worry about Lambert.
mourn. You worry about you.
Right? He's weird.
And
it doesn't matter what he thinks. It matters what you think.
He's just pitching. I'm trying to protect your link
to the most. No, but you remember the whole premise
of the bar, the show, you go to a bar, people are talking. Sometimes people get
weird and religious. That's what he's doing.
No, she just talked about, she's at church. This is literally
inside of a holy place. So, Brittany.
You won't lie in a holy place? You can do it.
whatever you want, Brittany.
So,
Whitney,
let's do this
really fast now.
She already lying
about her name.
We know that's not your real name.
I'm going to be,
don't feel bad about this.
Don't let him bring you down.
You're doing great.
I'm going to be,
don't even go down that road with this man.
I'm going to be Ashland.
You be Brittany.
And I'm going to try to do it for real.
I would say Lamorin's going to do it,
but he's going to steamerle you with
religious talk.
Yes.
So, and if he starts talking as the priest, ignore him.
Okay?
Just you and I, I'm going to go like this.
Hey, girl, come here.
I'm going to pull you in another room and lock the door.
So you and I just saw each other.
We saw each other probably midweek at Bible study, but now it's Sunday.
I go like this.
Hey, girl.
What you doing?
Hey.
Hey, girl.
I wasn't sure we were starting.
Okay.
Who's that girl?
Hey, girl, how you doing, big old?
I don't remember the next section of it.
Hey, girl.
So we just gave each other a big hug, and now your arm smells.
Oh, my God, are those girls keeping you up?
The girl and the boy, I'm so sorry.
But are those twins keeping you up?
Are they driving you crazy?
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Do you smell that?
Is that me?
gross
I think I must have forgotten to put deodorant on
Oh my god come here come here
No girl you don't smell bad at all not one bet
Oh okay well I smell BO though
Like where's that coming from?
Oh my god is it me?
I don't know
Maybe
Oh my god girl you know I got my nose blown off in the war
Take away that
Prettain I didn't say that
You know I got that hate it and I said that
You know I got that long COVID, girl, and I can't smell a thing.
I can't taste anything.
I had peach pie the other day, and I said, what is this cardboard?
I can't smell or taste a goddamn thing, girl.
Now, pretend I didn't say that thing about the nose thing.
That was a mistake.
I mean, is it me?
Hey, B, is it me?
I don't know.
What do you use?
I just use some tombs or something like that.
I'm going to put my arm up.
You won't give me a smell?
I put my arm up.
And then you pass out.
No, it's fine
No, this is where we're combining the pitch
Because what has to happen is I love what you did
But then if it's you're searching for it
Now you can't lie
Now you got to go like this
Oh my God girl
It's you
You can't start this
And then she goes
I'm going to be like that mean cab driver
No you're not
If the cab driver said this
When it started if he said
sorry if my cab smells like socks, it stinks, it's me.
And then I go, I don't smell it.
And then if he goes, in fact, I just smelled it my own area, it's not here.
And then I smell my foot and it was my foot.
I would say, it's me.
Then what I would do is I'll throw my shoes and socks out.
It got my feet off, so it never happened again.
But Brittany, we're close.
Let's do it one more time.
but if it gets to the crossroads,
confront me.
Okay?
So I have to smell her armpit.
If she lifts her arm.
The gates of hell open, walk in.
Okay, ready?
The gates of hell will be open for you because you're lying in church.
Hey, how are you?
Oh, my God, cute blouse.
Where'd you get that, Macy's?
Thank you.
I love it.
Oh, my God.
Do you smell that?
you, I wish I could wear a peach, but I don't work on me.
I look like a dumpling.
I look like a goddeme.
If I wear a peach, I look like a dumpling.
You smell like one too.
What is that mean, bitch?
Oh my.
Hey, babe, hang.
Soured up.
Bitch just watched my.
He said I smelled like a dumpling.
And I do no karate.
I'm going to whip her fucking ass that bitch.
She's a Christian.
Well, you can't say this stuff.
Oh, my God.
You walk up to me, honey, and say I smell like a dumpling.
You go and get these.
Hey, say.
You're going to meet these hands, bitch.
You're going to meet him.
Hey, bitch, tell me I smell like a dumpling.
I'm going to send you to the Lord.
You don't have to go Wednesday and Sunday, honey.
You're going to go right now.
You're going to meet his ass.
I'm going to send you to him.
You tell me I smell like dumplings again, bitch.
You B-O-smelling motherfucker in my Lord's house, bitch.
I'm going to eat you up.
Bitch.
You can't say these things.
All right.
I think that's it.
I think we found the winner.
You're Brittany, we're close.
Okay.
So ignore Lamar.
I'm just trying to save your soul.
Okay, ready?
Three, two, one.
Oh, hey, girl.
Hey.
How's it going?
Oh, you know, good.
Tired.
How are you?
Oh, oh, I'm so sorry.
I smell B.O.
Did I forget to put on deodorant today?
Oh, my gosh.
I think I got my B.
my B.O. on you.
Oh, wait. What, honey?
What did you say, honey?
I'm so sorry. I think I got my B.O. on your shoulder.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God. Oh. I don't, honey, you don't smell that.
Come here. Come here. Come here, girl. Left up those chicken wings.
Let me smell the inside of this turkey.
What if the armpit smell? What if her armpit smell fine?
And then it's coming from her? Britney stinks.
No, it's the one's.
Oh, it's downstairs?
But when they hug, how does it jump up?
It's not an infection.
It's not a gnat.
It's not a bed bug.
It's not going to jump from the crotch to the arm.
Oh, my God, girl.
So I did a little douche this morning.
Have you recently, so back to you, we're so close.
We have to win here.
This can't end on an item.
You would be close if you were listening to me.
Okay.
So really fast, get us out of here, Brittany.
We see each other.
Hey, girl.
Hey, how are you?
Oh, I'm okay.
You know me.
I'm wearing this shirt that makes me look like a dumpling.
No, you do not really get a dumpling.
Say it again.
Oh, hold on, dude.
Biff, I swear to go.
Okay, so, no, but how are you, Brittany?
How are you, girl?
I'm so.
Good. How are you? Oh my gosh.
I think I have B.O. I am so sorry.
Oh, my. Come here. Come here. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.
No, girl, you don't. Just the outside of your shoulder.
No. No, you don't smell.
Do I smell?
I don't smell anything on you, honey.
Okay. Well, I smell B.O. Do you smell that?
No. Is it me?
Oh, my God. Smell me.
I don't know.
Honey, you have to smell me, please. Is it me?
Okay. Oh, I think it is you.
Oh, my God. You're kidding me. Is it really me?
Maybe. I think, did you, what do you use?
I've been using this thing called Thoms.
This is awful.
It's spelled T-U-M-S.
They little chalky pills.
Bro, that's Tums. You've been rubbing antacids in your pot.
Oh, my God. And then there's this guy. He's been running around, Cole and saying, I
smell like a dumpling.
I swear to God be, I'm going to send them straight to our Lord.
So, but what you just did was nearly perfect.
Yeah, it was pretty good.
Right?
Because if you do Lamarne's way, in my opinion, it's so aggressive and weird to start
and just go like this, hey, can we talk?
You got bio.
This is crazy.
You said like that, yeah.
But in the church, you know, people talk about stuff all the time.
I get it.
We can't go down the church.
road again. Yeah, you can't because she has to go to church to do it. But if you start with the
stink, but finish with the Lamor right, this is actually a combo pitch. Start with Jake,
finish with Lamorne. Excuse me that word. Teamwork, I love it. It called me to finisher. Who does?
What? Who called? Nobody's ever called you. They said, I've heard it been, I've heard it being
said about me. By who? In the community. The church community? Church community,
non-tritch community
Okay
Hey Brittany
Would you ever think of Lamarne
And think of the nickname
The Finisher?
I mean
Maybe
I don't know
I don't think so though
Yeah
She has thoughts
Okay
Hey Brittany
What are you gonna do
What are you gonna do here girl
You're in a pickle
I'm gonna
I'm gonna do the combo pitch
I'm gonna
Know her armpit
And just bite the bullet
And do it
And when are you going to do this?
Because I don't want this to be something that we never get a follow-up on.
This, we really got to know what happens.
All right.
I will do it Sunday.
You swear to the person you got to swear to?
And why do the baby?
He's allowed me to go to church on Sunday.
I understand.
But if it's Wednesday, it's Wednesday, dear.
But do you swear to the big guy?
You're going to do it?
No, yes.
Brittany!
You're going to do this?
No, I'm going to do it.
I just don't know if I'm going to swear to the Lord.
Okay, fair enough.
Yeah, you got it.
You got to do it.
I'll swear a new girl.
That's what I'll do.
Okay, that's fair.
So I think this is going to work.
And I love you girl.
That's pretty good.
Thank you.
We love you a lot.
Oh, my goodness.
Best day ever.
It's Lamarne's best day ever.
It is.
It is, because I get to talk.
I get to talk shop.
my sister in Christ.
Brittany?
So, Brittany, we're going to hang up.
But if this was a customer service thing
that everybody does now in hotels and everything,
how would you rate this call out of 10?
You could be honest.
Don't worry about our feelings.
For sure.
No, but.
This is like the best day of my life.
Okay.
I'll take it.
Boom.
Now, in terms of it being helpful,
how would you rate it?
I think this is going to be good.
Okay, but how would you rate it?
really could fix it.
Okay, nine out of ten.
Pretty good.
That's really good.
And LeMorne's nickname is the finisher.
How would you rate it?
I'll wait until she's finished.
50, 50, so five out of ten.
That's fair.
That's great.
Five out of ten is really good.
If you're a baseball player, you're the best of all time.
I'm in the Hall of Fame.
Brittany, we appreciate the call.
Please follow up with us.
Okay, I will for sure.
Thank you guys so much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
How are you doing?
Yeah, we can hear.
We hear this as a follow-up.
Yes.
My name is Santos, and I am the follow up with the muffin beef.
With the what?
Muffin beef.
Muffin beef?
What's the muffin beef?
You got to.
So Lamar and Moritz is here, Santos.
What's up, Santos?
Oh, I'm sorry.
My co-worker won't eat my wife's baked goods.
Oh, that's right.
Okay.
So, Sentence, will you let Lamar know of the setup of what the problem was
and what we advise and then tell us what you did?
Yes.
So I have a co-worker, which I think we went with Joe,
and he just won't eat any.
of my wife's made goods and
I mean my wife is
I mean she's amazing
this thing that she's popping out is this from donuts
cookies
cupcakes
and you just won't eat it man
and I just don't know
if he's with me
or if you just doesn't fuck with tape goods
I don't nobody eat my wife's muffins either
we suggested
I think
Jake suggested a sting operation
and so
to basically have one of my coworkers
say that she baked those things.
So to see if it's just personal,
but if another person begged me,
if he's eating that shit,
then it's personal.
Yes, yes.
Did you do that, Santos?
So a little bit of an update,
so my wife was gone for a little bit,
so she wasn't able to bake anything.
But just recently,
one of my coworkers,
was, you know, getting out of the company.
So we were having a conversation,
and Joe came in the conversation.
And so he basically, like, revealed a little bit of conflict
that now I'm like, I don't know if I want to do this.
I don't know if he deserves my wife's fake goods.
Okay.
If you guys agree with me.
But he basically told me that he made fun of me being on a scooter.
and I don't know man
You can't make fun of a man on a scooter
Hold on hold on
Hold on hold on hold on hold on
You ride a scooter and he makes fun of you
Now is this a scooter to get around
Or you just do recreationally
Or is it like one of those raskers?
No no no
Yeah it was
I needed to get around
And it was on two occasions
And apparently he's like
went on and on and on for like weeks about it.
Oh,
Santos,
you got to walk me through.
I'm getting confused.
So you got injured and you needed a medical scooter?
No,
no,
no,
no,
no,
like a scooter,
like the ones that you ride,
like the one that you rode,
you know?
Yeah,
you just like scooters.
No,
I had to ride it.
I didn't have a car at the moment.
I had to get around for work.
Oh,
I got what you're saying.
So you needed it as your,
A means of transportation.
Yes, yes.
Okay, and then what was this fool teasing you?
What was he saying?
Lucas Santos on that scooter kind of thing?
What's the joke?
Like, what do you tease to me if you're riding a scooter?
Just they're riding a scooter?
My co-worker said, like, he didn't even want to repeat it.
So I was like, what?
What is this man even saying?
Oh, man.
I think it's personal, man.
Yeah, it's personal.
If this guy's not hitting your wife's big guns and...
teasing you about riding a scooter and it's so bad he wouldn't even say it how could a comment
about somebody riding a scooter be so bad you can't even you can't even repeat it what could
that possibly be Santos what's your guess what's your guess I don't know maybe he saw me like
rocking out a little too hard on the scooter were you rocking out pretty hard on the scooter
I mean, I'm not going to lie
It's a funky to-y
You know, pops on my ear
I'm gonna rock out to it
A little walk the moon, shut up and dance with me
Let's go
You think he might have been teasing you
For kind of dancing on a scooter
I mean, I just
I don't know
That's why I told him at this point
I said fuck this guy
He doesn't deserve any big goods
Yeah, you can't give him big goods after that
Unless what you're what you're
you could do. This is a bit
malicious.
It's what I would, if I
found somebody was doing that to me, talking
shit, I'd have a very special
big good for him. Talk to me. We at
work. I'm going to put some shrooms
in that. I'm going to put some shrooms in that thing.
Terrible pitch. Or something diuretic.
No. I'm not. I'm
got the runs. He's got to get fired.
Or both. I'm just saying.
Tripping his ass off. Can't hold
anything down. You know what I'm saying? No.
So, I wouldn't
drug him.
This is a good time.
Give him some molly.
Put some molly in there and have him just rubbing his tities on.
So, Santos, what is the follow-up question then?
I guess, yeah, that's my follow-up question would be,
do you think that we should still, you know,
I mean, should I be the better person and just say, you know,
I get the question.
So it's basically, does he deserve these cookies
and these baked goods or is he out?
But the truth of the matter is, in my opinion, Santos is,
we were investigating it if this guy's a piece of shit or not.
So that investigation still thought.
Because if it turns out he doesn't eat him but he eats somebody else's,
we're getting dangerously close to you saying,
what's your deal with me, man?
Well, he was already talking about.
Gotcha.
But we're getting to a zone of what's this going on?
You won't eat my wife's baked goods.
You tease me about a scooter.
Then we could set up a third thing.
So in that moment, you have three examples.
I mean, go, what's going for you?
but I think we have to do the baked goods.
We have to do the sting operation.
Your wife doesn't have to make them.
Go get cookies at a store.
Put them on a plate.
Okay.
Okay.
Sounds good.
All we need is these are baked goods that looked homemade,
that look like the ones your wife made,
that now Sarah from work baked them,
or Sarah's husband baked him.
So it's the same.
The exact thing is yours.
It's not her.
It's her partner.
Those things are on the table.
Does he eat them?
If so, is shit personal?
Honestly, you know what I think could be happening here that you might not have considered?
Because right now it feels like you're in your feelings because he doesn't want to eat your wife's cooking.
Which is his prerogative?
However, have you asked yourself, is this man diabetic?
Can this man even eat sweets?
if all he's bringing in his sweets
then you can't eat it
it'd be different if you were bringing in
meats, cheeses
and he just didn't touch the sweets
and you could be like, oh, he just doesn't
he can't eat sweets and cheeses.
Right.
If he didn't touch the meat, the cheese,
or the sweets, then you could be like,
oh, he don't fuck with my wife.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
We're a rebuttal.
They put a candy out for Halloween
and I mean,
I've seen him grab a handful
so.
All right, so I will say Santos, I think it's a very good update,
but this feels like we need another one.
We still have to do the Sting operation.
If this update's a question, I'm 100% yes, we have to do the sting.
Lamarne.
Santos, can I tell you this?
Can I ask you another question?
When you, where do you work?
If you mind me asking.
Don't tell us the detail.
Don't tell us the detail.
Just say like what business, like what company?
Like what's the type of business?
I do pest control.
Pest control.
Okay.
And he, and so this guy, so you guys have like a place you meet up before.
So you're driving a scooter to the different houses with all your pest control equipment?
Oh, no, no, sir.
Because if so sad, I would tease you.
Here, do you show up to do pass control with all the cages and the sprayer on a scooter?
Okay, no, okay, never mind.
What were you saying, Lamar?
No, I actually, to an office.
To an office.
To an office.
So what I was going to say is, I have a friend, right, and I don't know.
I don't know the personal details of what's going on with your life.
I have a friend, right, and I love her to death.
I don't eat her cooking.
And let me tell you why.
Because I've been to her house and I've seen her cook at my house.
She'd be kissing her dog on the mouth.
That dog would be all on the countertop.
That dog would she be feed that dog with her spoon.
It's stirring the pot with the same spoon that she'd do with the dog.
It's sloppy.
She's doing all that shit.
And I'm like, I ain't eating the goddamn thing you made.
Do you show up to work?
This is a good question.
Looking wild.
Santos, this is now, we got to get a little deep for a second on you.
You a little sloppy?
Oh, no, sir, no.
I'm one of the first ones that comes in with, you know, his shirt tucked in.
And I actually had wrote into the, to the pot a little bit earlier about how can I get my boss to get me new work shirts because my work shirts were so dirty that customers were about, like they were making comments about it.
So I just kept wearing the same dirty, dirty shirts.
And I just kept making him dirtier until he finally looked like, all right.
Let's get me some shirts, brother.
Santa, Santa.
Santa.
Santos.
He entered the question.
How would Jake, how would Jake do this?
So I just, I just had to make him dirty and dirty until he told me, you know what?
Yes, let's order you some shirts.
Santos, he don't trust you.
So every day you showed him.
to work with a dirtier
and dirtier shirt
so that you can get
a clean uniform.
This guy says,
you walk and you go, hey,
my girlfriend, my wife
cooks and make goods from my filthy house.
Santos, you got the
dirtiest shirt in the place, my man.
He's passing.
You just said, you wanted
new uniforms because you're a clean
guy, but your way of going to
about it was you kept wearing the shirt and getting it dirtier and dirtier to prove your point.
Your co-worker saw that.
I mean, I guess you could.
Everybody else was eating them.
But it doesn't matter.
You're wearing a filthy shirt.
I just, listen, they could taste good.
You're filthy, man.
Let me tell you what, I'm not going to eat.
So do walk up with a dirty shirt with a trayful of cookies.
No way.
I swear to God, if a co-worker who I really like a nice guy was just filthy were a really disgusting shirt and he goes,
my wife cooked my favorite food, I'd go like this.
And I was starving.
I'd go like this.
I'm okay.
I said it I would have to pass because I go, she let him out of the house like this.
I can only imagine what that house looks like.
This dude must be living in a pig pen.
Oh, man.
I don't know.
Okay, you don't think this is right?
I mean, I guess I could see it.
I could see how one can say that.
It may be...
Yeah, because it may be that.
Because it's a distinct.
But I don't go like disgusting to work.
You know what I mean?
No, but you got a dirty shirt.
It's so dirty that your boss replaced the uniforms.
Yeah, I guess.
That's a bold move, man.
And how did George get that dirty as opposed to everyone else?
Because he weren't washing it.
You got a, you got a,
The reason it sure gets dirty and then clean is you put in a wash and dry.
Yeah, like you were doing like three uses per wash.
Were you washing it every day after work?
Well, more like stained, you know, they look more stained than dirty.
Oh, I got you.
Okay.
Because she's doing that, that blueberry jam all around.
Why your wife's cooking?
Yeah, I'm not like walking around, like rolling and shit and just like walking into work.
I understand. All right. So, Sanis, here's what I really think it is, man.
I think we've definitely gotten more information.
I appreciate the call.
This is a rich story.
This became a short story.
It turned into a novel with the dirty shirt.
I didn't see that coming from a million miles away, my friend.
But I also, I'm kind of with you, too,
because you continue to defend yourself in a way that I respected,
and that is, you're like, that's not it.
They're having fun and being funny, but, no, that's a stain.
That's different than being dirty.
And guess what?
I also think you're kind of right about that.
Because stains.
If it's like a work stain, if somebody comes in, they're a mechanic,
and it's not like they didn't wash it, but there's like an oil stain on it,
I'm not going to be like, ew, I'll never eat your food.
If it's like fresh dirt.
So I think we have to do the sting operation, man.
I just think we're not finished yet.
I think we've got to, for sure, co-worker you trust, same exact setup, same food.
But here's what I actually would do.
I would have it be your wife's food.
And if he ate it, then I would say to him,
Did you like it?
And if he goes, yeah, it's great.
And then you go, then you liked my wife's food because I just pranked your ass.
Jokes on you, bitch.
You just ate my wife's muffin.
It had cat dander in it.
Yeah, but I would, as the confrontation, I would say, did you like it?
He'll go, yeah, man, it was good.
You're so weird, Santos.
You go, first of all, I'm not weird.
Second of all, don't ever make fun of a man on a scooter because he's dancing.
A third of all, my wife actually made those.
I tricked you.
And my wife's very clean, unlike my shirts.
what do you think of that santa okay i see i see your point of view i see your point of
you now i'll go ahead i already have a a co-worker that i've been talking to about it so
i really and he's he'll go ahead and pull the traitor on it and then if he eats it what are you
going to do um well i i don't know if i'll be around to catch him i'm i'll have to
one of the persons in the office is going to be in kahoots with me.
Oh, I've seen it.
But you could also ask them.
You could say, hey, did you eat those muffins?
Hey, how were they?
I want to try one.
Yeah.
Man, I kind of want you to confront him, Santos.
You think so?
Yeah, I do.
Man, it kind of just makes me a little nervous.
I think it should because it's nerve-wracking.
And only because it means so much to you.
Only because it means so much to you.
If that were me, that wouldn't give a shit.
I'd be like, oh, jokes on you.
We're having a good time eating this food.
Right.
You've got to understand, man.
These big goods that my wife makes, they're honestly, I encourage her to sell them.
I don't know why.
She's just amazing at it.
I wish I could send you guys a slice because I think it would change your mind.
I think you would care a lot.
By the way, I'm what you're saying.
I don't want you, my ears.
shirts, do you?
I'll take the
I think if Eric
would have been on this call, he would have said
who cares about the shirt, brother?
As long as they're dead.
I don't care about the shirt.
You're dead right. So here's
the truth, man. I don't
actually care about the shirt. I think
we now just have to either set a trap and catch this guy.
You got to confront him.
but we do have to get more information, okay?
Got it.
So if you are willing to do it with the friend,
I know you don't like a confrontation,
so let's not do that,
because let's not get you in a situation
that could get dangerous for you
or unpleasant at work.
You got a nice vibe.
You seem to be a sweet guy.
Let's keep that going.
So let's talk to the coworkers, leave him out.
If he eats it, call back in
and we'll figure out what we do in terms of the confrontation
because maybe what we could do,
Santos is I could call him.
Got it.
God, I would love that.
Yeah, maybe what we'll do is if he eats it,
I'll call him.
and I'll talk to them without you,
and we'll get to the bottom of this thing.
All right, sounds good, man.
You happy with that plan?
Yeah, I really like it.
I'll go ahead and pull the trigger on that,
and then I'll keep you guys up, David.
Me or the man.
Please do.
We're invested.
Thank you.
Don't send us those cookies.
Thank you so much.
I'll keep my shirts clean in the meantime.
Thank you.
Keep your shirts clean, bro.
Please.
I'm telling you, this is why he ain't eating them cookies.
Goodbye, Santos.
Thank you.
Such a dramatic sendoff.
Hi, guys. I just want to really respond to kissing like Muppets.
First of all, thank you for looking at the criticism and saying it out loud so people feel like they're being heard.
I don't have any of those criticisms.
I love this pot.
I love you guys.
It's a podcast.
you know, unless you want to pay, there's ads. And I, and I love that you're asking people to follow up more and more meaningfully.
I like that, that engages me as a listener. Anyway, the really, really thing I wanted to say is the way you responded to the young man with the kissing episode.
Really just touched my heart. I really just want to say thank you. That is how I would expect or really want an adult, quote unquote, real man to help one of my sons through that predicament.
And as a mom who's 46 of two boys, I'm a single mom, I don't have that quality partner who can step in and have those conversations.
And I think you guys handled that like real champs.
And I think part of your role with this pod is kind of being a little bit dadlike, right?
For some of these people that obviously don't want to ask their dad or can't or whatever, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Y'all are doing a great job in a horrible time.
I look to you for hope and laughter.
Bye!
Everybody check out our show on Hulu.
It drops a day early,
and there's also Back Catalog episode.
That's right.
So we're here to help is now on Hulu a day early.
If you want to listen to the back catalog,
we're dropping those from season one and season two.
It's just join us.
Let's go.
We're here to help.
is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds.
If you'd like to be on the show,
please email us your question at
HelpfulPod at gmail.com.
And if you want to watch video episodes
of We're Here To Help, you can go to our Patreon
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to see our entire catalog.
We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions,
executive producers Rob Hollis,
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Associate producer Jesse Thurston,
editing mix and master by Chris Foller.
Theme song by Oliver Raleigh.
The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelicki.
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Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only,
and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.
That was a hit gum podcast.
Hey, everyone. This is Whitney.
And the Lexong.
AKA the popcorn queen and king.
Hey, guys, we just wanted to thank you so much for all the love and support you showing our family.
As many of you know from episodes 224 and 231, we're navigating Alexa's second kidney transplant journey.
And that journey has really inspired us to create the Arana Kidney Recovery Foundation.
That's right. The foundation helps transplant families with everyday expenses during recovery so they could focus on what's most important.
Healing.
Now, whether it's lodging, transportation, groceries, or other essential expenses,
We're here to help lighten the load.
If you'd like to support our mission, you can learn more or donate at A-R-A-N-A-K-R-F.org.
That's A-R-F-F-org.
Thank you so much for being such an incredible community.
And thank you for always being there to help.
Hi, I am Mandy Moore.
Sterling K. Brown.
And I'm Chris Sullivan.
And we host the podcast, That Was I.
Now on Headgum.
Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us.
That's right.
We're going to go episode by episode.
We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.
Are we going to cry?
Yes.
A little bit.
Are we going to laugh?
A lot.
A whole lot.
That's what I'm hoping, man.
Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
And I'm Jeff Tremaine.
Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to F***.
Coming to F***.
That's what it is.
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
And I'm Jeff Tremaine.
Welcome to Jackass the Podcast.
A new show now on Headgum.
Woo-hoo.
I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes.
Every minute over is a minute to roll.
Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take.
we're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history all the best bits
bad behavior and even worse decisions all of it sometimes we don't make the right decisions
jeff i've noticed that every every so often with guests like spike jones i think this committed jackass
the podcast what was it going to be called the jackass podcast without you the IQ drops
significantly stevo it's a strong chance that were it not for jackass that i would
being cloud makeup right this fucking man.
Chris Panias.
That shot of your butt just cruising up.
I'm like, yeah.
I got that on TV. God bless us.
Dave England.
Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like,
damn it, something bad is going to happen to me.
Wee man.
Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch.
The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me.
And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning.
I had to share a room with this guy.
I left a nice surprise in the toilet form.
Every time.
Apparently, he hates to flush.
Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, PocketCast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts.
Our new episodes drop on June 18th.
Woo!
Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.
Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast.
What were we just talking about?
Probably buttholes.
