We're Here to Help - 304: Dolphin Tank & Miami Baby

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

Jake and Gareth get Coach out of a dolphin suit. Then, they break up with a pediatric dentist. Plus, a folow-up from Ep 260 "A Disgusting Session."See images from the episode here: https://www.heretohelppod.com/post/episode-304 Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. We are back. We got a fun one right now. So hold on. This comes from somebody emailed the show, who I appreciate, a guy named Peter, last name H-E-U-E-R. He said, this is unsolicited and not a request for help,

but I was watching a video of a guy cooking ribs on YouTube, and he sounds just like Steve Berg. Oh, my God. And I thought you'd enjoy it. Watch the five-minute mark. And then he does a little, like, music emoji. So just go to five-minute. It may go like 502, and let's watch this together.

All right, here we go. Too much. That's just gonna give us a nice little sugary glaze on the outside. And you could wrap these up at this point, but I'm gonna keep them open the whole time, kinda go from that dry rub-rib situation. Little candy rib sounds good to me.

And this should just melt right on and give us some beautiful color and some wonderful flavor. Of course, looking good. Back on the lid goes. And we'll check back to me and probably that out. About five, five and a half hours later and these things are looking done.

Probing nice and tender, feeling nice and tender. Okay, test off, stop, stop, that is shocking. So now we've got to... That is crazy. I, like, what a DNA test. It should just melt right on and give us some beautiful color and some wonderful flavor. Of course, looking good. Back on the lid goes.

Oh, wait, no. And we'll check back in and probably about... And you could wrap these up at this point, but I'm going to keep them open the whole time, kind of go for that dry rub. rib situation. Little candy rib sounds good to me. And this should just melt right.

That's Steve. That's Steve. That is Steve. If you could set Steve to have like a half-lisp setting. Yes. That's Steve. It's another dude who's just into barbecuing. Filming about food.

Putting just sugar on rib. I love the idea that that, I mean, we would love to have this. This guy beat Steve, obviously. But I do love the idea that the brilliance of making good food is like, I just put a bunch of sugar on ribs and it's pretty good. We got to give this guy a shout out really fast. Will you, do you have his name from the YouTube?

Yeah, this guy is Chud's Barbecue. Everybody check out. Oh, he's huge. Oh, he is? He's big on YouTube. Everybody check out Chud's barbecue. But there is something about that tone. That was crazy how Steve it was.

I love that this person was watching, that Pete was watching, and heard Steve. Me too. Watching a whole rib video. Yeah, this guy's, uh, there's a little physical similarity, too, and I know you'd think I was crazy. There's something there. There's something there. Yeah.

That is shocking. So we discuss really fast what we're, well, you guys have a show coming up very soon. Yeah. We have it done. I'll tell you, if you want to see a great shade of Steve Berg, I think it's at 10 days. A great shade of Steve Berg is production Steve Berg. I've told you this before. Sometimes I think Steve amps up the busy a little bit.

I don't want to get too deep into it, but you'll be like, you know exactly what I mean. You'll be like, you'll be like, oh, can I, can we not, can we, instead of 130, can we do two? I guess pretty bad for me after two, honestly. How Thursday? And I'm like, I know there's a lot of tennis and a lot of cooking going into this schedule years, and it seems like things are shiftable. June 27th, go to GearethRothornells.com for tickets.

What do you mean? You think he's fake busy? I, you know, I'm not fake busy. I think he believes, you know, when a child packs a suitcase? Yeah. They're like, I packed. Garrett. Have you ever seen that little kid?

I think it's on Instagram or YouTube, whatever. But he's the kid of a farmer and he's talking to his mom about his busy day. No. It might be the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. He's going like, yeah, I've just got to water everything. And then I got to go. And then the mom goes, oh, yeah, what else? And he goes like, well, I got to move those rocks over there.

And then he does something, but one of the funniest things about having young kids is, and I'm going to butcher it, but when my kids would be very serious about something, but their information was incorrect. Right. Where they would go, well, we've got to go, and I'd go, how come they go, because it's getting late, and I'd go, what time is it? And they would go, 40 o'clock. And you'd go like, well, if it's 40 o'clock, we really do have to get going. That's the craziest time I've ever heard. Since the craziest thing I've ever heard of my life. go, yeah, we're late. I would go, oh my God, we're in another galaxy of time, my friend.

They've got an adult cadence, but no real world information. It becomes true comedic wheelhouse. But so you guys, you guys have a show coming up and then we hadn't locked in a time. No, we're waiting to, I think, the three of us. He, Berg has, again, tight window. He's a tight window. He's a tight window in July. I don't know what to tell you. See, now. Now you're coming around. No, I'm not. I love how.

He's got to go over there and move them rocks on like July 11th. And he's got to water a bunch of stuff on the 13th. He's nervous that if we shoot, it'll go past 40 o'clock. So he's worried. No, we've got to do like that first, that second week of July. So I don't know if you can, but we were talking about trying to schedule. He's jammed in July. He's jammed up.

I, what I think of the rocks, the rocks aren't going to move themselves, Jake. Is you see Steve as an enormous child. And I do not. I don't see him as an enormous child. But when we were talking about that, because we're going to have someone come and film the stuff. Garrett, you also said about the cooking, you think, you think his food is just going to be a mess with like. No, I don't think it's going to be a mess. I don't think it's going to be a mess.

I don't think it's going to be a mess. But it's like, I, there, some people could cook something good. There's no doubt. But you're going, this is spaghetti. That's what I think. It's like a version of spaghetti. And I really feel like Steve's culinary world revolves around planet spaghetti. And here, wait, I got to say, I think my favorite Gareth is Hater Gareth.

I do. I think a hater, Gareth, is. Because once you get the bullseye on somebody, and I've had it on me, there's no way out. It's everything you say, and it's so matter of fact, and you just, to say a chef, all they cook is spaghetti is insulting. It's insulting. You're basically saying a guy who cooks every meat, loves it,

talks about food non-stop. All he does is take. like water, boil it, but do it and pour sauce on top. Wow, that's cooked perfect. Like, what? Al dente. Okay. You know what I mean?

It's that. On Patreon, he has no idea. I was doing Q&A's with him one-on-one where I was pretending it was fan-submitted questions. And I was just making them up on the fly. I would just be like, are you Nordic? What is your affair? Ooh, well, my genealogy is fascinating.

And I would just be like, Lucy from Tulsa wants to know, what size shoe are you? Well, Lucy, that's, I've actually shifted into a half size, which makes shopping for shoes more difficult than it used to be. I don't know. It's strange, but I'm an 11 and a half. You know, just for an hour, I would make a question. Holy shit. You're on fire right now. That is very funny.

Anyway, it's just to say that Steve Berg is a great producer. Everybody, enjoy the show. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you save money. We've talked about Rocket Money a lot on the show. It helps you save stuff. Steve Berg, it was apparently paying for some Bigfoot website he was on for 14 years. He's supporting some weird guy in Oregon.

And Rocket Money helped. and that. Okay, so I went and hung out with Steve Berg, friend of show, and I was trying to show him something on my phone. I wanted to do a screen share on his TV. We'd had a couple cocktails. It wasn't going well, but I looked around and I go, oh, there's a, there's an app where I can do this. And and I downloaded the app. I paid for the first one. And I was like, it didn't work. But I was like, I knew that. I was like, I'm glad I have Rocket Money because I am going to be reminded of this. And sure enough, within a few days, Rocket Money reminded me and I ended up not having to pay

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That's Dell.com slash deals. And we were brought to you by booking.com. Oh, sweetbooking.com. Uh, yeah, well, I mentioned before, uh, just how often I'm using booking.com these days. They make it simple. You get a real sense of where you're going, what it's going to be like. It makes travel a lot easier because you can see on your phone, on your computer, where you're going. And it depends who you're going with.

Are you going with buddies? You're going with family. Are you going with the elderly? Are there youths? You're going to make it yours. I've had a couple of trips in the last year with a couple of friends of mine where we've just kind of tried to find somewhere in the middle of nowhere. One of them was in Colorado, middle of Colorado, up in the mountains.

And I'm not going to lie, it was like a kind of like a dome. Steve Berg was there. And we stayed in a dome. All that through booking.com. You just find these places. Whatever you're looking for, whatever you're booking for, you can find it there. I'm going to go see a Packer game this fall with a couple of buddies of mine, Bears fans, and we're going to find a place and we're going to share it together.

and then we're going to put tape down the middle of the place like a sitcom. This is what booking.com offers you, so I cannot recommend using them enough. Go on, book that trip. It's easy. Booking.com, booking dot, yeah. Hello. Hello. Hi.

How are you? Doing great. How are you doing? Great. We're excited to have you. What's your name, please? My name is Coach. Sorry, what's your name, please?

It's Coach. What's your whole name, please? I'm coach. What one on your bird certificate? What's the first word when it says name, please? I would prefer to be anonymous. Okay, are you, okay, anonymous coach. Are you a coach of any kind?

I'm a Pee teacher. Okay. We're at elementary school. All right, coach, we're going to let it slide. So, coach, how old are you, please? I'm 30 years old 30 years old coach Do other people call you coach coach

Coach? Yeah You know all the kids call me coach You get called coach And the parents and teachers So everyone calls you coach And where are you calling from coach If you're allowed to say roughly?

You can lie too I'm from Georgia From Georgia Okay very vague there Jake I want you to meet coach He's 30 He's from Georgia We got a coach

Coach What's going on bud What do we got? Yeah, so I really need y'all's help desperately. I'm a P.E. teacher at elementary school, and I'm the only male teacher, so they throw a lot of stuff at me, and I'm cool with just about everything, but the big thing that they throw up me is they make me throw on a dolphin mascot, and I have to dress up as it, and it's hot, it's stuffy. I have to stand in it for, like, an hour and a half, two hours at a time.

It makes me feel like a big loser Having to do that at 30 years old I can't see out of it And somebody has to want me And escort me I just have to stand in the corner It's brutal It is brutal

Okay And so we got a picture here We got a picture you coach here First of all coach I used to do kids' birthday parties So I'm very familiar with the experience you're having I'm going to just tell you right off the bat Why aren't we tuck in the shirt into the dolphin mitten.

We don't want to see skin. That's whole poking material for the kids right there. Hey, Coach, Gareth is a little hot right now. I'm going to grab the reins. Thank you, buddy. So this makes a lot of sense. So you are the PE teacher. You've got to wear this dolphin outfit.

It's hot, uncomfortable. I'm assuming the eyes are at the base of where the eyes are or there's no eye holes. You can see out of the snout a little bit, But, you know, sometimes they just lead me, and I have to wander back through the hallway because they're not, they're not allowed to, I'm like Batman. They're not allowed to know that's me underneath there. So I just end up wandering down the hallways and I had to look through the snout holes. And so how often do you have to dress like this dolphin?

What is the process? Does this only come out at pep rallies? Walk us through what's happening in reality so we can all get a sense. It's about minimally once a month, usually more than that. And they always do it on, you know, they catch me by surprise when it comes up. And they always catch me on bad days where like maybe, you know, I overindulge the night before and I'm feeling super hot and sweaty in there. It's always by surprise, too. And then so you got to put this thing on and when it's on about how.

long is it and what are you asked to do in this outfit? Is this like the politician thing? You shaking hands, giving hugs or do you have to do like a dance? No, I stand and I take pictures with kids. It's for like a little ceremony for like student of the month. Understood. And then is this the only is the question, what is the specific question? Because now I'm getting a sense. So being the only male is just set up, the PE teacher, really nothing about PE. Is this just about the dolphin suit? It's just about the dolphin suit. I tried, I tried a couple ways to get out of it.

And I was just wondering if y'all had any ideas for me. I tried asking nicely. Okay. Nope, it's not going to be that. I do have a long for you. Okay. Now I have a great idea for you. Bring it. Let's party.

It's one of the oldest tricks in the business, and it's something that I've used quite a bit. You create a competition. per the best students and the winner of the competition gets to wear the dolphin outfit you are looking for the apprentice the passing down the greatest crown of all so that a student a VIP the leader of the PI the PE you have like a competition he or she or She who can climb the rope the fastest, who can do the sprints the vastest,

who can make the most three-pointers. The most athletic, because you need only the best physical specimen of them all can wear the dolphin. Let me jump in and say, Coach, that what Jake's done here is very good, because he's taken a negative, a weight, and he's turned it into a positive, a prize. that you fight for and every month. It's a prize to be this. It's like employee of the month.

The only reason you do that you're trying to get your employees to work harder. You know what you get for working really hard? A photo by the lockers. Are you saying that we rotate who does it every month? Now that's where I will divert. I remember when I was in high school, I remember the person who was in the Wildcat costume, I did think that's pretty cool.

So I think you could find. the one. And you could do this yearly, but it plays to coaching strengths. You're going to set up some sort of, you know, tournament. But I think you, I don't think you want to be bothered with a one a month handing of the baton. If you do, great. But I also think the opportunity is, you're just going, this is, this is the replacement. No, I love that idea. I really do. The issue is with it, With it being so big, I floated around the ideas of giving it to a student, and the higher-ups have not taken it. I got a pitch on that.

So I do love that idea, but I was one of you all had something else in case they don't, they don't let me put a kid in it. Well, why don't you do it for a parent? I mean, I think there would be a parent. That's something that a kid would like if a parent won something like that, So you can open it up to it's a parent competition. The Dolphin Olympics. The Dolphin Olympics.

I do love this. But here's the catch with it. You need somebody who can come during the day, and a lot of these parents are working. So then maybe we do say that we're going to look for two, and we're going to kind of schedule it out a little. What is your, coach, what is your age group that at this school?

It's kindergarten to fifth grade. Okay, that's what I was afraid of. Kids. Yeah. I was hoping you were going to say there's some high school connected. Because you can't put a fifth grader in this. That's too young. And parents of that, and when you're doing that,

you're talking about last minute on like a Friday, they're like, hey, throw this on. And this is what's been the issue is there is a parent that's like signed up to do it. But they don't show. And then I start trying to hide in bathrooms and stuff like that to get out of it. But they always track me down. I understand because you're the only male. And it's just what you do now.

That's a, this is a lot harder. Because I don't believe it's going to be a parent now. We have a parent that wears it at our school, at our elementary school. That does all of the appearances as a fox. Really? Elementary, yeah. It's like a parent-a-lanteer thing. Do they have a job?

Can they go to Georgia? Or are they one of these L.A. people that just go like. You know what it's like, Jake, it's all L.A. parents. Yeah. Well, at the L.A. schools, which is really insane, they'll be like, parent-teacher conferences. They're like 10 a.m. on a Tuesday. And I'm like, we're going to do a big thing for the kids.

They're going to show off all their artwork. I go, I can't wait. What time? And they're like, Wednesday at 9 a.m., I'm like, I'm literally working. So, and then you take off, you plan it, you get there, and you go. like everybody's here. Nobody has a job?

Look, this is, this is, this is, this is, we, we, I think we can find the person or the people,

but maybe what we need to do first and foremost is make the issue of having to fill your costume feel real and necessary because if you can't do it anymore,

then maybe that'll make it feel like when you pitch this idea, they really do need to find someone. So I would say, maybe you don at one more time and 50 minutes into it in the sun, you do a fake passout. I was, I'd consider that.

The day after Cinco de Mayo, I really, I thought hard about should I fake pass out in front of all the kids. And I figured I get to go home for the day and be done. A fake passout would be massive. If you do a fake passout and then you say, hey.

But you stay down, brother. Oh, yeah. Full passout. You know what it's like. Passing out is 10 minutes. They have to come over and take the dolphin head off. And you're underneath going like, huh, and the truth is every time you get woken up from a passout, you don't know you passed out. So you've got to stick to character.

What happened? I passed out? And then go like this. I did? No, stay as the character when it comes off be like, hi, hi, hi. And they'll be like, coach. Huh? And then you're sipping water, you're in the locker room, you're going, honestly, the past couple times I felt lightheaded, but I guess today it just got on top of me.

And then go, I'm so embarrassed by this. I'm so embarrassed by this. And then I didn't want to tell you every time I've almost passed, I'm so embarrassed. You say, and then you say, you know, I have been thinking it could be a good idea. It could be fun. No, Gareth, too obvious. Oh, eventually, you got to go with this. I think two days later, you say, I figured it out. We can make it fun for the kids. We can make it fun for the school.

We're going to apprentice style figure out who can fill the suit. And we can do it with faculty. We can do it with parents. But let's get three names on the list. They can have a group text message. And whenever we're talking about dolphin time, who can fill in. And in a real pinch, I can maybe do it. But I don't want to.

I got to say, Gary. earth. As car salesman, what are you doing? I did a bump in the bathroom. At the end, I could do it. Well, we haven't found somebody for four months. Also, you fainted and then instantly had a very clean pitch. We also listened to this podcast called we're here to help.

They would find it out. Yeah. So what do you think, coach? Because I guess what Gareth is saying is I love the passout, but then Gareth is also saying, then a couple days later have a pitch where you're looking for your running point on finding the new apprentice. And in a pitch, you'll just do it.

It's a testament to your pitch. But we lost that because mine was I wanted it to be one of the kids. It can't be a fifth grader. I think it could, no, can't be. I think we're opening it up to parents. That's my tweak on yours. jobs and then when they can't show up at the okay

I'm gonna go ahead of sandwich what happened I'm sorry I'm sorry is your goal to get him in a corsica or no you want him in a Tahoe I'm so sorry coach I apologize I'm gonna hit the shower you're all getting my friend thank you so when you're hearing this coach what are you thinking where are you at let's get you talking

Yeah, I just feel, you know, I don't think fifth grade's too young to throw in there, but I get y'all's point, and it hasn't been approved, and I have been pushing for it. The fake pass out, I do worry about, like, you know, trauma to the kids of, like, having to see their PE teacher. Can you do it in, like, the conference room before you're around the kids? I'm pretty stuck. They just put me in the corner and then I'm there. So it had to be, it's, it'll be in front of like, probably like 150 people. Natalie, what do you got?

What if you trip and manage to rip it really bad? How's the budget looking? Like they can't replace it? That's interesting. Uh-huh. I like that a lot. Because those are expensive. They're like a few hundred dollars, right?

Rood. They are. They are. So just fuck it up And then hopefully they can't replace it for a while Punk rock No, I like that I can try to mess it up

As Steve Berg would say What about eats some mariner sauce near it You get a meatball in and out of the suit Why in Steve? Because he was snacking Yeah Here's what I might pitch Going off of the Natalie thing

And this is a little weird But I actually think it might work In the middle of the night you got keys, break in, steal the dolphin suit, hide it. Then when they go, does anyone know where it is? You go, I haven't seen it. They go, well, we're trying to do it on Friday.

It's not available. That's the idea. There's no dolphin suit. If it came up like during like a week where there was going to be some sort of sporting event that was important, you could almost frame it like it's a little shenanaginny that maybe another school stole

it or something. But I do like that idea. Just take it. Fake a break in. That's a great idea. I mean, it's very clean. It's make the dolphin disappear. Yeah, that's a great idea.

And if they start doing another one, you go, if anybody goes, hey, we're thinking to get another one to go, get it smaller guys, because I don't want to keep wearing it. Well, I was going to, I had my pitch, and I don't, listen, if the car's running, I don't want to talk. I was going to pitch a redesign where he says,

I've been getting lightheaded, and you just show a real weird, like you get just things that leave the face exposed and you think it can both. You show them that you're no longer qualified to be involved in this project. With your father. I like that. But I think starting with the theft is good. Oh, I have an idea, coach, and it's risky.

But I think first for sure, we steal the thing. Then you know what we could do it. We could do it like a horror movie. You could cut it into weird pieces and like leave it near the river near the school, cover it in like dog shit. Where it's like, let somebody law and order find it and be like, what the hell? They fuck.

Somebody is like, oh, somebody must have slept in this. It smells like a urine. The hell happened. What happened with a dolphin? So it gets a little bit weird. And then you go, as the guy who wore it a lot, it's such like a dark ending, then you buy online a new dolphin thing, but you made a mistake because you're such a goober and you bought it too small.

This is very good. And then you bring back, you go, I got one. And then you just don't fit into it. So one of the women have to fit into it. For the kids, that's when you go back to your age. Yeah, you go, oh my God, this is pretty small. So either we need like Lisa, the math teacher, and she's like 5-1, she's like, or let one of the kids do it.

I think that's bulletproof. That's bulletproof, man. And you might not have to do the leave the body behind. That might be weird. But if you want to do it, I'd like to see photos, but I don't know if it needs to happen. I agree. Yeah. I would be prime suspect as I have made it clear my, yeah.

Well, walk us through. So what out of those few elements, how are you going to thread the needle on this? I think the ending's perfect. I think buying a new costume is perfect. The content of fake passing out and the story of it is amazing. But I don't know if I'm good enough to pull it off. So it makes me nervous.

But that's definitely, I feel like the most. Grand way. Oh, hold on a second here, coach. So, wait. Do you see that, Gareth? No. Hold it, uh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Hold it there. Oh, yes. Okay. So for $40 online, you could find it at Halloween costumes.com. Kids dolphin costume. Face is exposed. It's literally just a kid's Halloween costume with the face sticking out. You do that, you bring that in and you say, I think this could be really fun.

I want to give this as a reward to my best student who participates so much. The parents would love it. Parents would show up for photos. It would be like a huge thing for like, guess what? Sarah got Dolphin of the Month. And it's not with her face covered. Her face is there. and it's whoever does the best in gym

for that month who shows up every day, tries their horrors, they get to do that. Yep. I mean, that's genius. And now you don't steal the other one. Now you just say, there's something I want to do with the new curriculum.

It has nothing to do with you. You go, I want to get the kids more engaged. This is a hot takes type situation. Yep. But I want to get the students more. more into it and what I think it is is I need to incentivize it. But I'm going to do a thing like I'm going to create a dolphin challenge. And that is you almost do it like Ninja Warrior.

If you can do 50 pushups, you can do that, you do all these, then you qualify. If you qualify, then it's the best time. But you only get to be the dolphin. You can't do it twice in a row. So a kid would have to say, I would like to try to qualify. And you go, all right, in under 20 minutes, you've got to run half a mile. You've got to do this. And when they do it, that means you're pretty athletic.

That feels like a big winner right there for me. That's the way. Great. Great. All right. When you pitch it to the other teachers, will it be a informal? Will it be a PowerPoint? How are you going to do it?

Um, yeah, so like we're, we're done for summer now. So I think first, I got all summer to work on the best PowerPoint that I've ever seen. Um, and I can hit it with them at like a pre pre conference and Dolphin, uh, Dolphin of the month or, or whatever. This is we want to name it. Yeah. That, that just feels like a winner. And then you say this is starting for the new year, new curriculum. I'm going to introduce it to the kids on the first day. Yes, and then they get to be the dolphin that everybody takes pictures with at the student in the month thing. That's exactly right. Now, since we have.

I love it. I love it. But also really quickly, then you take a photo of it and the dolphin of the month goes up in one of the hallways. We can do little pictures in the gym like a little wall thing. And so every month it really, so then you get to go like, and look, you can get it twice in a row. You can be, you know, you could win the year. Because what you want is you want about five kids getting competitive. Oh, yeah. That's what PA is all about, brother.

I think it's great. My only addition is, since he has all summer, do we want to offer him the opportunity to come in for a 10-minute pre-pitched so we can weigh in a little bit before you go into the dolphin tank? Oh, yeah, I'm in. Yeah, we might do that on Patreon. Yeah, it's great. But either way, will you come in and show us to the PowerPoint presentation,

We can give some notes on it, and we'll work on this with you this summer. Yep. So when you feel like you've got it together, sounds like you like the sauce a little bit. So enjoy yourself. You're a teacher. You work real hard. Go reward yourself. But when you're getting back into game shape, get the pitch together, email us.

We'll give you some notes. And then we'll set you off so you never have to be in that suit again. Hey, Jake, Gareth. I really appreciate y'all. Appreciate you, coach. Go get them. You're going to win. Oh, yeah.

Wins only. Wings all my. All right. Wings on my. It's right. Wings on. It's pretty bad. And we were brought to you by Wayfar.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash here to help for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash here to help. Hello. Hello. Hi. What's your name, please? It's Allie. Allie.

Where are you calling from Allie? Houston. From where? Houston, Texas. Oh, Houston. Beautiful. How old are you, Allie? 39. Great.

Great. Well, there we go. That's it. Anything else, Allie? Then we'll jump in. Nope. Okay. Yeah, that's all I got. Let's party. What's happening? Okay. Well, I've got a delicate breakup situation that I know you guys can help me with. So my husband still sees his pediatric dentist because he says they've been through a lot over the last 35 years. 35?

He is, yeah, my husband's 37. He's been seeing him since he was insane. He goes to a baby boy dentist. He does. This is a baby boy problem. I need you to come up with a big kid. He's got to get him to great guy's school. Yeah.

Yes, yes, that is what I told him. But he is finally ready to move on to an adult dentist. But the two problems are that he's 25 years late. He doesn't want to hurt his feeling. And the other problem is going to be 40 soon. Yes, yes. He has a 401K back problem. He'll see a dentist with stickers and a treasure chest.

You know, there's a lot of problems. And the dentist goes like this. What do you want to watch? Bluey little guy? What flavor fluoride? Grape of bubble gum. That's crazy. That is probably a pretty good reenactment of the appointment.

Okay. Great. So he doesn't want to hurt his feeling. Sure. Sorry, just how old do we think of the dentist is? 70s. And my, I've never actually met him. I have, you know, Googled him to make sure he's a real dentist.

I would guess he retires in the next five to seven years. So we're talking probable 70s, like Jake said. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Keep going. So, yes, he doesn't want to hurt his feeling.

He's been this guy's dentist for 35 years, by man. Yeah. Shocker. Which means when he started, he had to be 35. Yes. I mean, he could have been younger, but still, either way, it's not, yeah, it's an unacceptable situation. Okay. He's not a string chicken.

Keep going, Ellie. So we also have, we just had a baby last year, and I am afraid this dentist is going to think, you know, we've got a multi-generation two for one special. I don't want my child seeing this dentist. Oh, you don't? Why? Because he's going to retire in five years. Oh, you want a new dentist. It's also weird. This guy sees adults, I mean, or an adult, at least. I hear you. An adult. Okay. It's not a vibe. I got you. Look, mom doesn't want the dentist. We're not doing the dentist. Okay. Thank you. That is the right answer. We're on your side.

Okay. So the bottom line question is, how can my husband break up with his pediatric dentist without hurting his feelings? And I know you're going to say, this is your husband's problem. He should have called in. Because the obvious solution is for him just to go there and say, sorry, my guy, the old ball and chain wants me to leave. She's crazy. But by me calling in, you have to be on my side. I don't.

And I can't have that be a pitch. I don't like the idea that he skate. That would feel very strange to me. I obviously, my brain is going and we have to lie. But the lie to me is not to say, my wife hates you for some reason. But I also, one thing I will say what I really like you just did, Allie, is you've turned our podcast into a game where you know what we were going to do. You knew the rules and you countered our move before we did it. And that's fun.

Yep. So by the way, well played. We're not going to do that now. That's off the table. We're on your side. Yep. But I am definitely thinking a lie is in the cards. Is there anything else, Allie?

Not that I can think of. You guys in Houston, Texas? Are you in a suburb of Houston, Texas? You in the city? We are in, yep, Houston proper. I got an easier one. Yep. We're moving.

You're going to Galveston. New York City. We're going to. We're going to New York. Oh, we're moving far. We're leaving the state. Is that so far away, you'll never see him again. He comes with a bottle of wine.

He goes, thanks for being my baby boy, Dennis. I'm taking these chumper's to the big apple. I like the bottle of wine. I do too. I think what we have here is a unique opportunity to enjoy the breakup and enjoy the lie. Same. And we're talking to a 70-year-old dentist. Yeah.

He's going to believe anything. And why not make him feel really good about it? You know? What if he got an opportunity to model teeth? His teeth are so beautiful. How are your husband's teeth? He had braces and had gear for 10 years, which is part of what they've been through together. So his teeth are definitely improved.

And model school for teeth, maybe. Does your husband, has he, like, we've talked about this on the show before, Jake, but parents sometimes will hold on to the kid's baby teeth. Does your husband have any stuff from the dentist in the house, or does his parents have anything? because maybe we could put together a real nice, see-you-later care package. What is the, apart from the care package, what is the thing, are they moving? We can't just say here's a care package.

No. The first thing that popped into my head was my wife became a dentist and she won't let me. The first thing that came into my head was he was going to go to dentistry school. Yeah, there's something about just enjoying it for so long and being here, I realized I might switch careers. I'm inspired. I'm fired by you. And I want to open up my own dentistry office in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Uh-huh.

Yes. And then if he, you see him in six months, you go, I'm just home visiting. Yeah. How's it going? I fell into a new line of work. I didn't realize how hard it was. There's beauty in the idea that this guy is not going to be able to corroborate anything. He's old, the Internet.

It's, you could really leave on a beautiful high note. I am here for the lie. I think you are correct. This is a lying situation. I like the alcohol gift. We, to my knowledge, do not have any of his baby teeth in our house. But I could definitely ask his mom. I don't think dentistry school is a good lie for him.

Okay. That's fair. That's fine. it would be a it would not be a clear career path for yes okay okay i mean maybe it's something more along the line like maybe we can create a really interesting job offer for him that's taking him out of the state is a move something you guys could do or no we um so a move would definitely be a believable i mean and we probably will move in the next year or two, but it would just be in the city. So it would only be a baby lie.

What is? But he would probably not believe we were moving out of the state because we're close to family and they're all here and he knows that since he's seen him for 35 years. I got you. What does your husband do for work now? He works in business administration at a hospital. Boring paperwork part of a hospital. So maybe we could.

do something where he has been recognized for his administrative work and NASA reached out to him, but they have a very specific dental plan. So he can't use the pediatric dentist anymore because NASA has this whole thing. They like to keep, this is how they do it. But he already saw, he went had a consultation and the NASA dentist was like, holy shit, whoever's been doing your teeth has been taking great care of you. This is a real pleasure. And we're going to give him a care package with some alcohol, a gift card to Culvers, just a couple things like that as a Sionara.

Here's another one. Because I think what Gareth is saying is very right and very solid. What if he goes in there and he says, hey, I'd just a guy. just want to say, I'm not going to be coming back. But I thank you for the 35 years. I think you're wonderful. And he goes, well, what happened? And say, my wife no longer believes in modern dentistry.

She got caught up on some thing on the web. And he goes, he goes, oh, what? And you know what's happening with these conspiracy theories and fluoride in the water. And he goes, like, I don't know what you're talking about. And you go, here's the long and short of it. I love you. Thank you. Here's a bottle of wine.

My wife's going, cuckoo bananas. But we are going to take a multi-year break from dentistry and we're going to do it with banana peels because that's what she believes is the best thing and we're going to brush with charcoal. And then he goes, I don't even know. But there are certain fights I'm willing to fight

and this one's not one of them. So I thank you. I love you. And I wish you nothing but the best. What are you thinking about what we're saying? You like any of this stuff? I do. Garrett, your NASA pitch kind of gave me an idea.

So I don't know that I like NASA, but I don't know that they're giving my husband an award for beautiful teeth and a scholarship and all that. But my husband is on his insurance through work, and I'm on my insurance through work. So what if the lie was that he was switching to my insurance. insurance. Yes. Okay. But my insurance is only for adults.

Here's what the guy will say. I'll make it work. That's what I'm worried about. I'm worried that this guy is going to bend over backwards for this. You know what? Don't worry about it. Yeah. Well, we'll figure it out.

$20, I'll do cleanings for you. And then if you have a major problem, then you use your wife. You're a friend at this point. Yeah. I don't think we get, we got to make it so there's no way. This old time-and-back and this old-timer can't fix it. You know what you could do? How about this?

Similar to in the Jewish culture or in the Mexican culture, a Kinsenira or a Bar Mitzvah, he's growing up. He's almost 40. 35 years later. I'm going to, I'm finally a man. I have my first appointment next week with an adult, Dennis. I'm so nervous. And you and his mom and everybody goes in and goes, just the way when you like, when And I do this with my kids when you're like done with a certain doctor where we're all like, oh, thank you so much for all your help.

And then there he's like, well, I'm going to miss the girls. And it's like, yeah, but they're not sex anymore. So you go in there, you get a little party hat, a little cake. And it's like, now it's time. And your husband's really scared, but it's time to go to the big boy dentist. You know what we could do? I mean, that's all great. I'm just

Here's what we could do Allie has become obsessed with celebrity smile culture and he's going to go get veneers so he's not even going to need dental work anymore he's going to have fake big fake

Tony Robbins chomper and he can be like I'm not into it but this is what it's going to be I'm getting caps I got to get caps she's sending me to Turkey yeah you ever seen John Elway I'm going to look like him

I'm going to have the Elway smile and this is it and she wants them to be one size too big from my face yeah she's my lips won't fully close so that I mean so a possibility with that his dad actually did do that

and not in Turkey but but has has a two situation but could maybe say he wants to go to the same places as his dad yeah I think he's I think he's just you know I'm gonna uh and but

here's what the dentist is going to say. This is crazy. There's nothing wrong with your teeth. Yeah, but this is, but like we're saying. And then he's got to say it's a, well, then I would say he says it's a style choice. And it's an alley, my wife, listen, I like it. My dad really likes it, but my wife is obsessed with it. I told her, you know what? She's got really into Tony Robbins. Yeah. So I said, and if he wants to heighten it and you can get away with this with an old guy, go, I mean, the worst part is I got to start doing spray tans too and then go like, happy wife. By the there is a very easy way for us to get some sort of photo bullshit

where your husband is a shade darker with big white veneers. And we send it to the dentist and be like, the new me, miss you pal. Oh, you know what we could do? He doesn't have to do it in person. We could do that photo and go, hi, just writing to say thank you for all the years. I ended up switching to veneers,

so I won't be needing anything more. Yeah. Thank you for the 35 years. I loved every moment of it. I wish you nothing but the best. Check out my new smile now. Why don't we have him go drop off a little something at the door of the dental office with the dentist's name on it, same time we shoot a text with this. It's veneer time.

It's over. This is great, Allie. I'm very here for the veneer. option. I like that. I like the fake picture. I like everything about it. I do think that he wants to like say goodbye. Thanks, but see ya in person. So maybe like he could go to one more cleaning, give him the gift bag, say goodbye and then send a fake picture. I think that's exactly right. A month or two later. Yep. And say look look what I went and did. I flew the coop and got these teeth. I think that's exactly right. And so it's a really love.

lovely thing. And if he tries to talk him out of it, then he just has to say, I'm excited about it and so's my wife. My wife's in love with the idea. That's a great shutdown. And I don't come out too crazy. No, you just have weird taste. A lot of people are doing this. Yeah, you just have those jumpers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think this is really good. I think I like that. I like that. Let's do, you know, let's do like a bottle of wine, some, a couple other things. things. If we can find a picture of him, maybe as a kid's smiling, you pop that in there, a little card that just says, thanks for everything. Maybe tanks for the memories and he's wearing a tank top.

Yeah. Yeah. I can do that. We can get a before and after braces smile. Yeah, exactly. And then in two months, like you said, we text the fake veneer picture and just say, On to the next chapter. Hope all the best. There's, you know, the truth is there's a way to do that photo with AI. There's also a really fun way that you guys could do where you go get fake caps for the day and go to Sears

and take family photos where he gets a spray tan before. And I would kind of recommend you guys do that because it'll be a great family thing and you use those as your Christmas cards. What we could do is, what we could do is we could say she's like kind of upset you know like we're 39 we're almost on 40 she's she's taking all these she started spray tanning like crazy she wants me to get veneers and then you go to sears you have the wild tan on he's got the big goofy smile and that can be

the christmas card it's a fun joke and the dentist gets to see the evidence but then you're participating too but just do it participate because these great here's the fun of these, if you guys get family photos of them too, just send them to everybody for your Christmas card. Yeah. Honestly, I'm going to pitch one more thing, and I don't want to, you're in the car, the car started your, but why don't we put a wig on the baby? So the baby's got big weird hair.

Or veneers. Yes. Oh, we could do wig and veneers. We can definitely dress the baby up in a weird way. So do three regular photos. Miami baby. You know, on the back, there's always like one of the other. they're like inaction.

Yeah. So the main one can just be you guys in like white sweaters on the beach. Then there's one with like your dog talking about like all the accomplishments you guys did, whatever. And then one of them, you're all in veneers and the baby's infineers. And you're tanned. And you don't make a comment. You don't mention it and you wait to hear like your aunt right back and go like, what is happening? But let them all gossip behind your back about it.

I love this. I absolutely love it. That is a much better lie than we ever could have come up with. Yes. And we need those photos. Oh, sweet mother of God. We will absolutely share any photo. And while you're doing actually any of the testing of veneers on the baby and your husband,

film the stuff on your phone for behind the scenes. Please. And we'll have it. We'll post it at least on our Patreon. Yeah. Kyle could cut a whole video of it. There's just too much good stuff. All right, All right, Allie.

Keep us posted. Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Sweet Jesse here. This next call is a follow-up from episode 260, a disgusting session. Hello.

Hello. How are you? I'm great. Thank you. It's nice to hear you again. Oh, I remember this voice. Maybe you remember the laughter as well, as I said. It's nice to hear this voice.

I agree, Gerith. This is Betty, the teacher with dreams about parents. Ah. Remember Jake? Oh, the dreams about parents. She's a dream banger. She's a dream banger. Will you do us a favor because we, I'll speak for myself, not Gareth.

old man ears all of a sudden. I'm excited for Jake to ask you to not do your accent. Can you try to slow down a little bit for this old dog? Betsy, can you do an American accent for us? Is that possible? So walk us through. So my problem was that I was having trouble speaking to parents that I've had sex dream about. That's correct.

Because you kept thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah, and I was all giggled. and I was a bit nervous and wasn't really like in proper headspace. And I remember Lamarne's, man, just think about most likely they had sex dreams about you too. Yeah, Lamar? Yeah. What a crazy take.

It's crazy. It's always great to have them, but I think for the callers, maybe not as helpful. No. For our numbers, for our entertainment value, very helpful. But I don't know if Betty left that, like, okay. No, she didn't go. Well, that's great. They're sex-trained about me too.

I had no reason to continue this call. Oh, it's the circle of life. Yeah, so, Betty, what did we suggest you do? What did you do? Follow up with us. Where are we at here, lady? Also, what country are you in again? That's a good one.

I'm in Czech Republic, in Prague. That's right. That's right. So your advice was, Jake, to have a disgusting session, to have a dream. no, no dream, to masturbate with the parent in my mind and to think about him doing something really, really disgusting, like dueling, having dirt behind their nails, all these really nasty stuff.

So sort of take the fantasy to a disgusting level and then take him out of your dream world because you're no longer thinking about him in any way. I know this is going to sound bad, but I think that's a very good piece of advice. I do too. I think that's good. I do.

It was really good advice. What happened? Well, the result is I haven't had a sex dream about any parent so far. Like since our discussion, it was okay. But was I able to follow your advice, Jake? No. I wasn't able to master base while thinking about these things. It's impossible.

Exactly. But you weren't even able. Hold on, because it ruins the masturbation session. Is that correct? Yeah, it's thrown all the bike, all my mood. Did you try? Yes, she's saying she tried.

It's awesome. I tried, but I wasn't successful, but I didn't have any dreams as well. So maybe it's connected. This is a bell ring, Garrett. Without question, it's a bell ring. So do us something. something really fun just because this is a show about entertainment.

Walk us through the fantasy that you tried and that midway through you said, I'm a teacher in the Czech Republic and I can't even masturbate to this nonsense. I'm just going to bed. Walk us through what happened. Okay. Okay. You're the best. Great stuff.

I love our colleagues. I ask him to do something very embarrassing and she just goes, okay. Well, it's also one thing to have a dirty, dirty session with a strange man, but now to be like, yeah, I'll open it. I'll tell you. Let me walk you through it. I don't know how big your audience in Czech Republic is, but I... Not very big. I'm going to be under 16.

It's you. We're talking to our audience. We're talking to our Czech Republic audience right now. It honestly is you. So I feel really, like, comfortable to talk to you. You're safe. You're safe. I'm very safe.

It's really fine. You wouldn't believe this. I'm calling from my office. One of my parents just walked in. So just hold on a minute until they leave. Do they speak English? I think yes. Yeah.

I think they are in IT. Ask them if they like podcasts. We don't want them listening to this, Gareth. Jake, for her sake, we don't. But for our sake, we could double. It's too embarrassing for her. We can double the check audience right now. All right.

Ask if they listen. Eddie, just to ask her if she likes good advice from bad people. Or bad advice from good people. We got it all, babe. So what else is? Are they gone? Yeah, we are gone. Yeah, we're good.

Go ahead. So tell, walk us through this session that failed and then we're going to get out of here. Okay. So I imagine us heavy. a really nice dinner. Nice setting. I got to just real quick, Betty, I got to jump in and just shake real quick.

The difference between men and women? Thank you. I'll tell you what men aren't doing. They're like this. Oh, man, I got a minute. I got to get this thing done. Hold on one second to the pretend waiter. Calamari for the table.

Whatever she would like, and then I'll have, let's really, yeah, it's not a two-hour dinner. Can we get a bottle of wine? Literally it starts with us in bed. That's where it starts. Literally. My clothes are off. Halfway down in bed.

Everything is blurry and insane. Yeah, it's like I hit my head and I woke up during sex. That's how masturbating for me starts. It literally starts in a fever period. But then you want to know what it's like for men, for men management. Drink a bottle of nightquil. And then when it's peeking, just start the fantasy. Yeah.

It's like at gunpoint, someone was like, you have 30 seconds to finish. You know, like, I take this mission with great sincerity. Okay, so you're at a fake fantasy dinner. Okay, keep going. Yeah, exactly. Candles are there, bottle of wine, spaghetti and some. Spaghetti and salmon? Is it Steve Berg across the table?

Spaghetti and salmon? Are you the female, Steve Berg? The only person whoouts about dinner is Steve Berg. Steve would be like, ooh, I love that. He's like, Jesus, what do you expect me to finish before a divert? Hey, famine aren't the only thing swimming upstream. Okay, so, Betty, is that a traditional check? Oh, my God, were there appetizers?

Whoa, whoa, Betty, slow down, slow down. What were the special? Bread and butter. What were the special? Who was the waiter? There was no waiter. It was just in limbo. It's just a fantasy, Gareth.

Quit asking weird questions. Keep going back. Steve finishing a dinner is pretty good. It's pretty funny. Can I get you guys? It's deep finishes when they bring the dessert tray where they're like, not just, uh-huh. That's why they have the glass over it. Okay, so keep going, baby.

So you're at dinner, and I love that you're eating salmon and spaghetti. Steve,ania. This is the nearest masturbation fan of dinner. A horrible meal. Exactly. Yes. Yeah, exactly. I wanted something that wasn't really like aesthetically pleasing.

on the table and and then I imagine the guy having draws in the corner of his mouth and dirt behind their fingernails and then it was where I said like stop you I'm not gonna do it it's impossible that is a hundred percent your pitch chick she just didn't get to the all the clothes he betty all the clothes remained on yeah who's gonna take that guy's clothes Yes, we couldn't continue. I couldn't continue. You just had it. Betty, I want you to do that about every parent.

No. Betty, listen to me. When you start a new school year, it's April. So when you start next year, the first thing you do when you meet all the parents and you guys are like, I'm going to be the teacher this year. I'm so excited to have your students. We're going to learn so many great things. Get a mental snapshot of everybody.

Take them out for salmon and spaghetti that night. I honestly think you should just bring in salmon and spaghetti. and set it on your desk and just be like, help yourselves. Make everybody do like an art class thing where they have to put their hands in dirt under the nails and show you. Yeah, like a haunted house. They have to grab the salmon spaghetti with their hands.

Yeah, with blindfolds on. Well, Betty, you're in the clear. I mean, this one's solved. And there's one thing that really, I think, will amuse you is one of my parents in, the class that is coming is this guy because he's coming with his younger son. Oh, he's coming right now? He'll be, he'll be like in my class next year as my, as my first grader.

So the salmon spaghetti guys kid. Oh, yeah. Oh, so he's coming back. Oh, yeah, I got you. Okay, so he's a big one in your head. Yeah, probably, probably. I was just meeting him because he was my, my son's, classmates father. Okay, so

here's what we got to do. We got to do another preemptive strike. Take him out on two more bad dates. Yeah. I want it to, I want his smell to be so intense that in the car, you got to unroll the windows.

And I want him to talk about stuff that you find so boring that as he's talking at bed, you're like, would you shut the hell up, dude? Betty, you're the best. I would say this follow-up, pretty damn special. Yeah. We might be seeing it to helpies, God damn it. Yeah, Betty, Betty, Betty. Oh, yeah. Am I aspiring? You're aspiring.

Thank you, guys. All right. Love you. And just Betty, just in case you won the helpies, what would your speech be? You got 30 seconds on action. Three, two, Bigley, Ed, go ahead. I really want to thank all the parents that I'm here. Thank you, guys. Take care, Betty. Thank you. Thank you. Bye.

Bye, bye. Hey, I just had to leave you a message after hearing that lady correct you on Toll and Tab. And I just wanted to say to her, Hey, dumbass, it is a tab. These are your drunk uncles at the bar. What do you get at the bar? You get a tab. You pay your tab.

Stop yelling at them. They're doing their best. They know what they're doing better than you. Do you know who we are? And by that I meant, do we know who you are? No. But we do know who Jake and Gareth are. So stop harassing them and be good and just listen to the show.

It's free. Pay the freaking tab. Well, I guess you wouldn't pay if it's free. Anyways, pay the tab. These guys deserve it. Everybody check out our show on Hulu. It drops a day early, and there's also Back Catalog episode.

That's right. So we're here to help is now on Hulu a day early. If you want to listen to the Back Catalog, we're dropping those from Season 1 and Season 2. It's just join us. Go. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at

Helpfulpod.g.m.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike.

Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to garethrethrenolds.com. Remember all of the advice, given on we're here to help, is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast. This is Whitney. And the Lexong. AKA the popcorn queen and king.

Hey guys, we just wanted to thank you so much for all the love and support you've shown our family. As many of you know from episodes 224 and 231, we're navigating Alexa's second kidney transplant journey. And that journey has really inspired us to create the Arana Kidney Recovery Foundation. That's right. The foundation helps transplant families with everyday expenses during recovery so they could focus on what's most important. it. Healing. Now, whether it's lodging, transportation, groceries, or other essential expenses, we're here to help lighten the load. If you'd like to support our mission, you can learn more or donate at A-R-A-N-A-K-R-F.org. That's Arana-K-R-F.org. Thank you so much for being such an incredible community.

And thank you for always being there to help. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode.

We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch

full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to Fri-C coming to F***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the podcast, a new show now on headgum. Woo-hoo. I've learned a jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes.

Every minute over is a minute too long. Apparently there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions.

All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones. I think this committed jackass the podcast. What was it going to be called? Jackass podcast.

Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-o. There's a strong chance that were it not for jackass that I would be in cloud makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Panias. That shot of your butt just cruising out. I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us.

Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad's going to happen to me. We man. Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head. and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning.

I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet for him. Every time. Apparently he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo!

Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes.