We're Here to Help - 308: Reverse Laundry Psychology & Funk In The Trunk

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Gareth and Jake weigh in on a soggy laundry room situation. Then, they help a young caller clean her grandma's car. Plus, a follow-up from Ep 298 Sexy Baby (with Murray Bartlett).Want to call... in? Email your question to helpfulpod@gmail.com.PATREON: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. An inspirational portrait of a farmer's son who rises from humble beginnings to build a luxury fashion empire. Brunello, the gracious visionary, traces Brunello Cucinelli's life journey, his commitment to craftsmanship, ethical values, and humanistic philosophy. Directed by Academy Award winner Giuseppe Tonatore, the film blends documentary and fiction. An intimate look at the Italian entrepreneur known as the King of Casual. See Brunello, the gracious visionary, in Select Theater's July 24th.
Starting point is 00:01:05 And we are back. And we are back. G. Man, you said you are sweating. G. Man, you said you are sweating. you were hot. What the hell's happening? Well, there's a heat wave and it's been a while since I've, I'm trying to remember the last time I was, I think probably in England because they don't have AC and it's been getting hotter there, but I met my girlfriend's place and she has ACs that are effective when it's hot, but not in a heat wave. And we,
Starting point is 00:01:40 Went to a weirdo. Like a couple people recommended we go to like a discount superstore place. Okay. And so we go to this place. And I mean, it's just like they've piled 90 AC window units in the middle of the store. And we're like, just fight. Oh, my God. You did that, you did that Black Friday fight with people.
Starting point is 00:02:10 It was a soft Black Friday. Were you wrestling a little bit? No, but you're definitely watching other people make decisions, and you're going, that's a good one? Oh, people, because I've done no homework. I'm just looking at the BTUs, but then people are going, like, these are refurbished. They're just as good as new.
Starting point is 00:02:33 And then you're paying attention to the BTM. We got a banger. You did? Man, yeah. But man, it is. The level of hot where you go, all I'm doing is just trying to get through the next 10 minutes. Oh. And just.
Starting point is 00:02:51 And I give you a suggestion next time it's that moment. Yeah. Initiate romance. It doesn't exist. See what happens. It's not possible. And go like this. I want to try something new if you're into it.
Starting point is 00:03:05 How about sex where you loathe me? She goes, I thought you said something new. So I did the mythical kitchen show with Josh again, Josh from our show. He came on and he's a killer. Such a great guy. Great guy, great guy, great guest. We got to talking because he's doing a new show under their umbrella called Eat Your Career, where he makes different meals about, you know, different performances.
Starting point is 00:03:36 And then you eat him and you talk about it, right? It's so interesting. And there's a whole kitchen, and they got the whole setup. And as I was sitting there, because I hadn't done homework, so I was just reacting in the moment to what I was doing, I went, hey, Josh, this is crazy because we're trying to throw something like this on our own. And he goes, why? And I go, so Steve Berg obviously thinks he's a resident chef all of a sudden, which is driving me and Gareth crazy. So while just bullshitting, we decided to have a cookoff. So right now we're recording this July 2nd.
Starting point is 00:04:08 On July 8th, we're flying Steve Berg into town. We rented an Airbnb in Silver Lake. And he and Adam Oler are doing a cookoff where Gareth and I are going to eat it and judge it. If Gareth wins and his food is better than Adam Oler, and Adam Oler is a good chef, not a pro, but a good chef. Then the show is going to finance a cookbook of Steve Berg recipes where it's really just, and this is, This is, Gareth, after being with a real chef talking about food, it's insane if we do this cookbook. That's why we do it. I know, but it's, we've entered a world of madness.
Starting point is 00:04:48 I was around a guy who's a chef. You know what he knows? The history of foods. Yeah. This is not a cookbook for someone who wants recipes. It's for entertainment. But Steve will be like, a touch of this, a squeeze of that. The way that he said he has no clue about his measurements.
Starting point is 00:05:05 Crazy. And he's talking about handfuls. But I mean, that's like a Vikings cookbook. But if he loses, he's not allowed to talk food for six months, right? So we're doing that. We're having a lot of fun with it. We are doing it. And I know people are going to get annoyed.
Starting point is 00:05:20 They don't want to go to the Patreon. That's fine. But we also are having a lot of fun on Patreon. And it is for us. It is a chance. We all get to be together. But I was telling Josh about it. He was laughing.
Starting point is 00:05:28 We were having fun. He was talking about how he basically does that. And then he goes, I was like, could we ever come here and do that with you? where if he happens to beat Oler, could you go versus him on dishes? And he was like, of course, easy. And then he goes, you know, we do a show on Mythical Kitchen called Imposter Chef,
Starting point is 00:05:47 where there's three chefs and one of them is an imposter, and they, I guess they cook the food and then present it to people. I almost wonder if we do that with Steve, but neither you or me are even the contestants. We're just there. or maybe he said you and gareth could be on too but i would i said we're for sure in uh we can
Starting point is 00:06:13 film our version of it too we could release both like they get their version yeah yeah but they'll do the stylized one we'll just have a handheld camera with a camera filming steve's brow uh but this stupid little gag of ours, he's going to get heightened. Now, if Steve gets killed by Adam Oler, you know, there's, it's, there's nothing to be done. I don't, first of all, I don't agree. Okay. But I think you're right, it's better if he has a little wind behind him. Yes. But I also think Steve, the beauty of Steve is that wind is always behind him. I agree. That would be incredible. So, cook off he and Adam Oler. Gareth and I are going to be blindfolded
Starting point is 00:07:04 so we cannot see whose food is what. We are going to try it. We're going to give our honest assessment of, as Steve puts it, whose house would you rather to go to to finish the meal? Not who's done a better job, who's mixed sauces. Whose food tastes better? They're going to be cooking the
Starting point is 00:07:20 same dish. Final predictions, Gareth, because this is the last time we're going to be talking. And we will, in an intro, release the outcomes and everything that happened on this. Final prediction. Steve Berg loses. It's not a drubbing. We get drunk and decide he deserves a cookbook anyway
Starting point is 00:07:37 because it's insane. But you think it's going to be close? I don't know. It could be a drubbing. I think it's going to be close. I think it's going to be close. You do? Because I do.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Because I think we're going to, I think we're going to be in zones where he's comfortable cooking. Okay. What about you? I think it's going to be close. You're going to lean more oler. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:13 And I am going to lean more Berg, and I'm going to say, I prefer this dish, and Berg is going to go nuts. And then you are going to say to me, all fair, did you know what was his and I was going to go, I had an idea because it didn't taste as sophisticated,
Starting point is 00:08:31 but if I'm also honest, I did like it more. And you'll go, I think that's fair, It's close, and I'm like, I'm just being honest. I actually did like it. And I promise you I'm not trying to produce. Addams better.
Starting point is 00:08:43 No. That's my prediction. My prediction is you liked Adams. I like Steve's. Okay. I can't wait. Ladies and gentlemen, I can't wait either. Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy some ads.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Bon Appetit. And we're brought to you by Dunk Man, presented by Shaquille O'Neal Dunkman is a new electrifying dunk league that aims to transform dunking from a one-night contest to a high-stakes professional sport. The season will consist of four group stage events in which 24 the world's best dunkers battle for a spot in the Dunk Man World Championship with a $500,000 grand prize on the line. The inaugural season of Dunk Man in partnership with Eli Lilly premieres live July 21st at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on TNT and streaming on HBO Max.
Starting point is 00:09:37 I am legit watching this. This feels like something our podcast should have been producing. I would love to see the best dunkers dunk. We need to discuss the dunk contest. We might need to lower it into a six-foot dunk contest. Presented by Shaquille O'Neal. Get involved with Dunk Man. And we were brought to you by Wayfar.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Oh, Wayfar. Listen, Wayfar crushes it. Your space should feel like you. And if it doesn't yet, that's probably not a taste. problem. It's a budget problem. Well, Wayfair fixes that. I know that I got a lot of stuff from Wayfair. It just feels more like a home. I've got a new end table for a lamp, not a new lamp, but now it feels like a new lamp. A thing for all the bedding at the end of the bed, which is great. I call it the bedding casket. You know, it looks like if a sheet Dracula would rise up out of it. But
Starting point is 00:10:31 it just gives you all those little, dare I say, accoutreement that makes you. your home feel a lot more like a home. And there's so much stuff. I mean, you're going through it. You are flying through it. It's unbelievable how much stuff is on there. You could get lost in Wayfair. I did get lost in Wayfair for a little bit. Ready to upgrade your home for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now. Shop all things home and get your space ready for less. That's W-A-Y-F-A-R.com. And we were brought to you by Quince. Oh, the joys of Quince. Ah, Quince makes summer better. One thing I love to do. love about summers how easy everything feels. The days are a little more relaxed, find myself
Starting point is 00:11:10 reaching for those pieces. I've got a new Quince piece that's out there. It's a collared shirt, but it's like a short sleeve and it's kind of puffy. I'm not good at explaining it, but I love it. And that's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on well-made essentials that naturally just become those everyday staples that you actually live in all season long. And there's a lot of reasons to love Quince. 100% linen pants and shirts are breathable. easy to throw on all that stuff and that's $34. Their T's, oh, I've got a lot of their T's. Their T's are soft enough to live in all day and that lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you want when the summer nights cool down. Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar
Starting point is 00:11:51 brands. They work directly with ethical factories. They cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for exceptional quality, not brand markup. It is the best. Cannot say enough good stuff about quints. Everyone I know who uses Quince uses Quince, gets quince, loves it. So make sure your summer wardrobe is easier. Go to quince.com slash here to help for free shipping on your order
Starting point is 00:12:10 and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. We let you in. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash here to help for free shipping and 365-day returns quince.com
Starting point is 00:12:21 slash here to help. Hello. Hello. Hi. How are you? Good. How are you? Good.
Starting point is 00:12:29 What's your name, please? My name is Tobias. Tobias. Definitely the show's first. Tobias. Can we get your age? Yeah, I'm 32. Where are you calling from?
Starting point is 00:12:40 I'm calling from Seattle. Seattle. Well, just because we had great success for the last time, Tobias, let's say they're making a movie about your life and you get to weigh in on the title of the biopic. What do you think you're going to go with? I probably just go with just wing it. It will work itself out. Okay. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:13:06 Has that worked out well for you? you? I mean, I think it has. I'm not sure, though. Hopefully. All right, Tobias. What is going on? So I'm in pretty dire straits over here. I'm on my last pair of underwear. Okay, so your book title didn't work, Tobias. No, especially with that opener. I'm on my last. It's like this. Just wing it. It'll work out. How's it working? Pretty good. What's your issue?
Starting point is 00:13:37 I'm on my, I'm on fucking Dyer Straits, brother. I got one pair of undies. Hey man, don't wing it as much, Tobias. Buy underpants. You buy in your name. Yeah, the issues I'm not out of underpants. It's just, you know, all my, oh, they're all dirty. Ew.
Starting point is 00:13:54 So I live in an apartment building that does not have in-unit washer and dryers. That's hard. I've been there. That's hard. Yeah. It hasn't been a problem for like the year or so I've lived here, but lately over the last couple of months. every time I try to go do laundry, there's dirty clothes in the water, wet,
Starting point is 00:14:15 hate clothes in the dryer. This is an extremely relatable issue. So. And so what do you do when that happens? You just bail, you just grab your sack and go back home? Yeah, well, I don't want to touch other people's clothes. So I just get all my stuff and I just go back to my unit and then I still have dirty clothes. And how close is the...
Starting point is 00:14:36 It's worth of an issue, but... Yeah, go ahead. That's it. Yeah, as I said, this wouldn't be such an issue, but I work six days a week, so I only have like one day to do laundry. That's tough. My question for you guys. Yeah. My question for you guys is, how do I get people to stop kind of treating the laundry room as their own personal washer and dryer and just, you know, get the clothes, clean, take it out and move on.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Tobias, real quick, just question on the question. You had a specific culprit, right, that you thought was clogging up the laundry. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, it's been, I don't know for sure, like for certainty, but it seems to be like two kind of teenage girls who come in the day before I tried to do my laundry. Careful touch in their clothes. With like big, well, this is part of it, right?
Starting point is 00:15:32 So they come in with like big like plastic garbage bags full of clothes like shoes, blankets, towels. And then they leave it in there. And, you know, a dryer can't wash a comforter and a blanket successfully like the first run. Yeah. So the clothes in the dryer are damp. The clothes in the washer are obviously wet. And then they leave it in there for like multiple days, sometimes one or two days.
Starting point is 00:15:55 And the whole, it's like mildewy. It's just gross. Crazy. You're unacceptable. Oh, I got one. I got a couple. Go ahead. I want you to pretend to, does anybody there know you?
Starting point is 00:16:10 Or have you seen these girls in person? I've seen them only once through passing. And I know it was them because they're holding garbage bags full of dirty laundry. Okay. But that's it. And like everyone kind of keeps themselves a little bit. So I don't really, you know, I don't really talk to many people around the, around the apartment building.
Starting point is 00:16:32 So my first pitch is fake signage from the manager that's very angry. That's a clothes left in dryer or washer for more than three hour after gets thrown out immediately in trash can. I like that. I would even maybe, I think that's a good start. I got a bunch of little ideas, but that's a good one. Well, I would think you maybe want to start. it is like that is a specific problem that could probably here's what I would do
Starting point is 00:17:03 I would actually the next time you do laundry time how long the washer is exactly and it has little timers on it because like you know like 30 45 minutes left I would put a hour left for the dryer I would put a clock in there and I would put a sign on the clock that says
Starting point is 00:17:23 make note of what time you put your things in the washer or the dryer and do the math exclamation point. Then I think what Jake's saying, once it happens again, which it might, I would put that sign up as well. And I would maybe even drop the shit off at their apartment door if you know where that is. Are the only problem people, these two teenagers? It's the only like confirmed. Because it's only been a problem kind of recently last school months.
Starting point is 00:17:58 I want you to maybe do something, which I'm going to refer to as psycho. Yeah. I'm kind of going somewhere similar, but I'm curious what your version is. I want you to get a folding judge sitting there. Oh, my guy. I don't know if I could do that. Here's why. When they come in and it's been three hours, confront them and go, what?
Starting point is 00:18:29 Yeah. Fuck is going out with you? Three hours? What if we put a folding chair in there with like a mannequin or a bear on it that says this thing is watching? Ooh, what if we put a sign that said because of people using laundry and leaving it, this room now has cameras? If you leave your stuff more than an hour and a half, we'll be thrown out. that happens more than once you won't be allowed to use the laundry. I think that's great.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Fake cameras from management. Or you put like a bear on a shelf and you like a tissue box with like a hole cut out and you just put those things on a shelf in there like you are being watched. Or fake cameras makes more sense now that it's coming out of my mouth. I also kind of think Tobias maybe what you do. And this is crazy. Throw all the clothes on the ground. I kind of like something like that.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Aggressive violent. I mean, what they are doing is beyond, hey, you left it in there for a half hour. Just rude. I mean, I almost think you do. You just toss it on the fucking ground. My only worry about that is I don't want to escalate. Like, I don't want my clothes tossed on the ground. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:19:51 You're keeping an eye on your time. So I, okay. It is aggressive. It's not easy to do that. So why don't you do this? Why don't you buy like a fake camera? There are like decoy cameras that are not a lot of money. And just put it up on the wall and put signs that say...
Starting point is 00:20:11 Wait, I got one, Gareth. Okay. Because that's not to interrupt because I think that's the same pitch, right? So we know where that one's going. Is that correct? Yes. Why don't you put a sign up that says, hey, everybody, just heads up. I left my clothes in the dryer and I had to go to work.
Starting point is 00:20:28 And I guess I left them in there too long. but somebody took a shit in them. So whoever took a shit in them, dude, you really mess with me. I'm sorry I left him in. I won't leave them in that long again, but please don't have bowel movements in the laundry. It's so funny you say that
Starting point is 00:20:46 because my weird pitch was to just put like fake poo in there. Duky-stained underwear in there when they go get it. But there's something about that That is very, if you put a couple signs up that says, to whom it may concern, I know. I left it in too long.
Starting point is 00:21:11 Yes. This is like taking a bowel movement in the laundry is no solution. Now it's dirty for everybody. I had to throw all my things out. As well as, I hope management clean these dryers. I was just kind of thinking that, too. It's like if I knew someone took a shit in a washer, I would not use it.
Starting point is 00:21:30 I'm so sorry I left it in. It happened once. I am not the person you're mad at. I kind of feel like there's something to the idea that, hey, it hasn't happened to you two teenage girls who leave your shit in here for a day. But I left my stuff in there for four hours one day. Because I had a family emergency. Or what about Tobias? What about Tobias to the person who sent me?
Starting point is 00:21:58 a threatening letter in my clothes. I'm sorry, I left mine in one time. I think you're mad at somebody else. I also realize people leave their stuff in here, but it happened to me once. Please don't threaten me again. I know that that tickled your fancy more, Tobias. I'm just thinking of two teenagers who don't give a fuck about anyone.
Starting point is 00:22:23 The word poop is gonna grab them. I think thinking that my blankets are gonna get shit in, Or a dead rat. Or what? A dead rat. Whoever put the dead rat in the laundry. I don't appreciate it. Pope.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Tobias, where are you at here? What are you thinking? I could put a fake dead rat in their laundry. That's interesting. I don't hate that. What do we think about that? I like that. I like if the dead rat has a little note wrapped around it that says,
Starting point is 00:22:54 take your shit out sooner. I like the, kind of like reverse engine. like reverse, like reverse psychology than into thinking like, oh, wait, I don't want that to happen to me also. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:07 That works for me better. The idea that I think there's something to that. If I saw, oh, there's like a war going on and someone's pooping in the washer, nine clock changes. I got an idea. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Yeah. Tobice, this is, this is weird, but it might be an easy solution. What if you get like a tofu turkey, throw it in their laundry? Okay, yeah. And they go, I can do that. What the fuck? There's tofu turkey everywhere. I got an other.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Every time you go in there and the clothes are in there, cheese, Parmesan. It always comes back to our number one cheese. But just cheese. Cheezing, it could be good. You put a bunch of cheese in the laundry? I'm going to give you a stressful pitch. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:16 If it's bedding and it's in there for more than an hour and a half, because you know they do this all the time, take it. Take it back to your apartment. Steal the betting? Take the betting. You're now saying, hey, you live in a world
Starting point is 00:24:35 or if you leave this, it's gone. By the way, Garrett, and Tobias, this ain't great, and I'm already ready. And by the way, for the people going to go like, that's illegal, remember the premise of the show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:46 It's guys in a bar. We've had drinks. Get out of Jake's ass. Huh? Go ahead, pal. Nobody's in my ass, bud. Go ahead, buddy. They wore one time.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Who? What you're having tomorrow? Yeah. So just keep that in mind. But what about next time, Tobias? You do it one time? Steal all the clothes. Because if they come back and the clothes are missing,
Starting point is 00:25:18 they're going to be like, they will never let him sit again. I like that. That's like, that's the nuclear option, right? It's crazy. But you know what else? You're going to get away with it. There's already established there's no cameras.
Starting point is 00:25:37 You're also going to be scared as hell. You're going to be shaking. If you got caught, Tobias, probably the most embarrassing thing in the world. That's why I just go, you know, you don't even take all of it. Hey, Tobias, pretend you're walking out with a bunch of clothes, okay? Let's say you're doing the thieving, okay? Excuse me, sir. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:25:59 I'm not going to go I got these I got these people's clothes in my hands Why? Those aren't yours Those are my daughters Well they leave them out You know I figured a 24 hours Anybody can take clothes that I've been in the washroom for 24 hours
Starting point is 00:26:18 Why did you figure that, pal? Well isn't there a statute of limitations on How long clothes can be left in shared laundry rooms And so what are you going to do with my daughter's clothes Well, you can have them back. Tobias, don't do this. I don't like this deal in for you. I like it.
Starting point is 00:26:38 If you take a trash bag in, you put the blanket in there, you cover it on some of your laundry, and you just take that. I think that's a one and done. It's not clothes, but they'll be like, what we've been doing is crazy and we've lost a blanket. I would do a blanket. That is my final pitch is take the blanket. I'm going to throw it good. I'm going to give you my runner up is putting the signs in there. Let's say that I left my stuff in too long and someone pooped all over it and that's not okay.
Starting point is 00:27:10 I was busy. What about throwing a baby Ruth in the dryer? That's tough, though, because the problem is you've got the lesson has to, the A to B has to be clear. That's true. They have to know that the reason why they got baby Ruth is because of the amount of time. If you steal it, they know it got stolen. If there's signs that say someone's pooping on stuff that gets left in here too long, I know I'm on notice.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Tobias, what's you going to do here, Big Daddy? I like the, I think I'm not up for the stealing. I'm not going to lie. I don't think I have the champion for that. Okay. I like the sign. I like the reverse psychology aspect, get them to think that they're going to, you know, know, have either a rat or some poo in their laundry if they leave it for too long.
Starting point is 00:28:05 All right. So then, Tobias, give us your final plan of what you're going to do with the note. What are you going to write? How are you going to pull this off, buddy? We got to keep you safe here. Yeah. So I think I'm going to write, hey, if you leave your laundry or I'm sorry that I left my laundry in the wash for a day.
Starting point is 00:28:30 I had to get, I got to get pulled away for a family emergency. Please do not poop in my laundry. As punishment. I won't leave. Yeah, as punishment, I won't leave my laundry longer ever again. Message received. The word economy on this, I think you're going to start with, to whomever pooped on my laundry, comma, how dare you?
Starting point is 00:29:02 I know my stuff was in there for a long time. I got pulled away for a family emergency. That was not okay. I like this. I like that. So start with to whomever pooped in my washed clothes. I got pulled away for a family emergency. I had to leave them in there for five hours.
Starting point is 00:29:26 That was not okay. That's where we start. Also, the little corn pieces were disgusted. And then what we're going to do, we're going to put those signs up, okay? Put a couple of them up. And then what we're going to do is, then if you see their stuff sitting in there for longer than two hours, you're going to today go out and buy a baby Ruth. And to Jake's pitch, you're going to microwave it, melt it down,
Starting point is 00:29:57 and you're going to rub it all over the blanket in there. I'm with it. I'll do that. Okay. This is what we need. Now, here's how you're paying the toll. Are you really going to do this? You've got to.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Look, it's uncomfortable, but it will work. It's, this is, this is, look. It will work, man. If you set it up that someone's pooping in the washer and then they do it, they have a death wish. They need their stuff to be ruthed. So you are going to put it in. I think it's great.
Starting point is 00:30:29 I think it's going to be effective, man. Then you're going to rub it in there. Now, to pay the tab on this one, we want pictures of the signs you put up in the laundry facility. And for the love of God, if it comes down to nuclear Ruth, you know what we need. We need a video of the pregame. We want to see the Ruth, and then we want to see the after. Oh, and I'm dying to see that note. And by the way, if, yeah, you're going to.
Starting point is 00:30:55 You're going to, listen, you're going to have to think quick, but put a fucking time, anything over two and a half hours for people with a track record like this, they need to think their duvet got pooped in. Yeah. Should I, try baby Ruth, the dried clothes or the wet clothes? Probably dry clothes, right? It's up to you. It's up to you. I might think, look, wherever they're leaving it longer, wherever you see it. Wherever the hell, it's in there for too long, that's where they get.
Starting point is 00:31:25 getting shitted. Tobias, follow up with us, bud. For the love of God, and be careful, man. Be careful, but you got this. I'll say safe. Thank you guys. Tobias, they're the villains in this story.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Right. Right, I got to remember. Go get him, kiddo. I appreciate it. Bye. Bye, buddy. This episode of the podcast is brought to you. Brought to you by Squarespace.
Starting point is 00:31:58 You know what Squarespace is, and so do you. It's where you can build a website. You want to see how it works? Go to garethreth Reynolds.com. I love Gareth, but he is not a technically sound individual, and he built that website himself. They really are the best. They make you stand out.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Your website looks professional. And there's all these things they can help you with. They can help you with the SEO tools. You're cutting-edge design, your domains, your donations, your videos. You know, whatever it is. That is really Squarespace is there for you. They make you look the part. And again, it's easy.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Nobody's going to go to your Squarespace website and be like, boy, this guy mailed it in. I've worked with Squarespace for a long time. Every website I am associated with, which is quite a few of them, completely Squarespace only. I'm a Squarespace only fellow. What can I say?
Starting point is 00:32:45 So go to Squarespace.com slash Gil sent me for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website. or domain. Hello. Hello. Hi, how are you? I'm good. How are you? Great. Welcome to the show. Can we get your name, please? My name's Olivia. Hi, Olivia. How are you today? I'm doing good. I'm kind of nervous. Okay, well, that's going to feel like a weird conversation in no time. How old are you, Olivia? I'm 14. 14? Is this a real age? You said 14, Olivia? Yes, I'm 14. I know it's surprising, but...
Starting point is 00:33:26 Cool. What grade are in? I'm going into ninth grade. Cool. And is high school at a different location than middle school? Yes. Nervous? So, big change.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Yeah, I'm nervous. My guess is this has something to do with the call. Olivia, what can we do for you today? Okay. So my grandma's car stinks. Like, right start, Olivia, I keep going. So I get picked up by her, and it's been going on for years because my dad has work, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:09 And it's, I get in there and it's like, it just hits you. It's this wave of, it might be because she's an old grandma, but. That's part of it. You know. Okay, quickly, Olivia, give me an age for grandma. I got to know. We're talking 80. We're talking 60.
Starting point is 00:34:28 70. I think she just turned 70. Okay. And when you, if you were to describe this smell with as many words as possible, they can be your words. What does, what does grandma's car smell like? Wet dog, stinky socks, sour milk. So, ooh. It's the mildewy.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Grandma house. Oh. Yeah. What kind of car? What does it look like? It's a Honda. I don't know the exact type. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Two door, four door. Huh? Two doors or four doors? Four doors. What kind of fabric are the seats? It's not leather. It's kind of like... Understood.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Understood. Those are the two questions. Leather or shit couch? She's essentially it. It's a shit couch. Okay. Well, you know, when we were kids, Jake, they had that plastic sort of film over it, which was just quintessential grandma.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Especially when it was hot. Yeah. Yeah, and those little, like, parts would break and they'd cut the back of your knee just by pinching it. But Olivia doesn't have to deal with that. Olivia, how many days a week are you in Grandma's car? Awful. How long is the drive? About 10, 15 minutes.
Starting point is 00:35:51 depending how slow she's driving. So about a half hour a day, you're sitting in milk sauce. Yeah. Temperature-wise, what area of America are you calling us from? A colder. It's really hot right now because it's summer, but it's usually pretty cold. You Midwest or you're northeast? Northwest.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Northwest. Yeah. Wisconsin area? I mean, Minnesota area? South Dakota area. Where were we talking? North Dakota area? Like coast, west coast.
Starting point is 00:36:25 Like, I'm as far as you can get. Understood. Okay, say no more. Now we know exactly where you're at. And I got to tell you with all that water up there, that area smells. Yeah. Not all the places. No.
Starting point is 00:36:40 But there's a feeling. I took a hike up in Portland with Bill Bungar. We were looking at all these beautiful houses. It's like, I look at this growth on the exterior. And I'm like, I think they all have. mold issues. It is. It's wetter.
Starting point is 00:36:55 I mean, but this, I can, you know, it's like this smell. I can smell this smell. It's just, it's,
Starting point is 00:37:02 it's bad and it sticks with you. It's not like something's rotting, but it is constant. And by the way, Grandma's living in it. She doesn't know about it. She loves it. Her house probably smells a little bit like it.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Olivia, does her house smell weird? Definitely. Yeah. Okay. She does live with old people, though, too. Explain what that. So she lives with her two friends in an apartment.
Starting point is 00:37:33 The coolest thing I've ever heard. This is Golden Girls. So she lives in an apartment which is as cool as they get. Are they just swinging out of that place? They got pineapples that upside door around the door and just live in life? Yeah. And that's cool. But they all kind of soak up their old smell together.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Gross. It's like a disgusting soup. It's like three mildew rumba's just inhaling each other's. This is actually, Olivia, this call is actually, first of all, you're doing a great job. It's a clean setup. But I gotta say, it is grossing me out. What have you tried to do to get rid of some of this smell?
Starting point is 00:38:09 I've opened a window that didn't really help. Okay, what else? It circulates air. Yeah, but. And I've like covered my mouth and nose and just like, pretended the smell wasn't there. But that also doesn't work. I have an idea, Olivia.
Starting point is 00:38:27 What camps are you in right now at 14? Camps? Anything. Like, what are you doing this summer? Because I have a play that we're going to do, but I need an excuse like camp or school project. Basically what I'm going to pitch, Olivia, is a version of,
Starting point is 00:38:44 hey, grandma, I'm doing this project at school or with my friends, or are you pretend it's for TikTok? can we clean your car immaculately and film it for this project we're doing? And then what you do is you just fully clean it. And then when it starts to smell, you go like, hey, grandma, after cleaning it, there's a weird smell in here now. And she goes, huh?
Starting point is 00:39:10 And go, yeah, remember how clean it was? Now a week later, it's got like a mildewy smell. Maybe you should check it out. Oh, that's perfect. I think you frame it as a fundraiser, too. It's like kids do fundraisers for things, you know. But yeah, either way. But then we just, we reset, because what you can't do is we can't go to her and say, like,
Starting point is 00:39:32 I've gotten really sick from your car. It'll kill a seven-year-old lady. It's tough. So a lot of times on this show, we deal in shame and we shame people. Is it nice, Olivia? No. Is it effective? Yes.
Starting point is 00:39:47 That's effective. So what we don't want to do is we don't want to shame Grandma. She's doing a nice thing by driving you. She's living with two older ladies. She's got a nice thing cooking. But that cook has a smell to it, doesn't it? Yeah. So what we got to do is we need to reset to the car so that she says, too, I love it.
Starting point is 00:40:06 And then you go, it smells like a new car in here. Also, it's a prime opportunity to pop an air freshener in there. Oh, great. but then once it gets bad again, you are allowed to go, I think somebody must have left a thing of milk in here. Huh? It's got a funky soup smell that's disgusting. Then she can work on fixing it,
Starting point is 00:40:33 but she cannot work on fixing it if you start with, did somebody leave a glass out milk in here because it smells bad? We got to get it clean first, and that is on you as the 14-year-old in my opinion. great scapegoat in that the internet like when I talk to my mother about stuff online I mean she I could make up anything you can very easily just frame this as this is a thing you're doing it's a TikTok thing and she'll be like okay oh I have an idea too hey olivia yeah next time you're in the car consider eating like you're going somewhere and then when she slows to a stop
Starting point is 00:41:13 like you're eating to go Chinese food. Yeah. And she'll go, oh, it's no problem. You'll like, it is a problem. I spilled soup everywhere. Oh, mm-hmm. Bake crying. She'll say, who cares?
Starting point is 00:41:31 And you go, please let me clean your car. I'm begging you. She'll give up, she'll put up a fight. You win. Clean her car immaculately. And then ask her, does it have any smell? Have other people, coming in and have it to have it a smell.
Starting point is 00:41:46 So then a few people are noticing how her car smells after the cleaning. You know what this does well too? I was thinking something along those lines. What this does well too is it helps future Olivia because you can, two months later, if grandma's funk is back in the trunk, you can say to her, grandma I still smell the thing I spilled let me fix it you know just give me a second it's driving me crazy you know but that gives you in perpetuity the ability to always be trying to clean it or pop a new
Starting point is 00:42:26 air fresher in there that she likes the smell of something like that what do you think in olivia let's go to you we i think we started going down a path that might the new talk now i'm taking some really good notes. This is like immaculate. Like you. I could work with this. Okay. So then how about this? I don't see her. What do you mean you don't see her? What does that mean? I'm not going to see her unless like she's like, oh, do you want to come hang out with me? Like, okay. Voice was harsh. Olivia, you might, you might have to hang out with your grandma for this pitch to work. I'm so sorry to tell you the bad news. I'll take it. Okay. So now let's do this. I think we're. I think we're in a zone, Gareth, where I think we're in better shape than we mostly are at this point of the call. I'm going to say this, and if you don't have it flushed out, they're going to work
Starting point is 00:43:17 on it, but Olivia 14? Yes. From the Northwest, about to enter high school, Grandma's got a smelly car. What are you going to do? I'm going to follow up, and I'm going to take these. I'm going to follow up. Olivia. Olivia.
Starting point is 00:43:37 You're just reading BuzzFourne. You're just reading buzzwords. Jake, I think, look, Jake, you've got a lot. You just ran for politics. I plan on making a toll. I'm going to make it right and doing it twice and circling back and double-checking. We are going to fix Grandma's car. We're going to lower the smell.
Starting point is 00:43:59 We're going to get smelling good again. And I'm doing activities. And we're going all the way back to Washington, D.C. And we're going to take back the way out. Olivia, what are you going to do? I'm going to fix my grandma's car. Oh, how? Let's
Starting point is 00:44:14 let's give you what advice have we given? What are you going to? What's the A to B? What are you going to do step by step? Okay. So, going to tell my grandma,
Starting point is 00:44:27 oh, I got this school project or there's this thing happening on TikTok. And I'm going to be like, can I clean your car? Olivia, Olivia, we're going to do a roleplay. We have to. Okay. Gerith, are you playing grandma or am I playing grandma?
Starting point is 00:44:41 What works best for this situation? I think we probably both are going to have to put the hat on at some point, but you want to start? I'll do whatever you think. You would decide. You or me. All right, I'll start, and you'll refine. I'll start, show you what not to do, then you jump in and fix it. Olivia, you're going to talk to your grandma.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Gareth is going to play your grandma. Are you ready? Yes. Three, two. Go ahead, Gareth. What were you going to say? Just get in, Olivia. How was school?
Starting point is 00:45:09 Hi, grandma. How was school? School is good. Go on. Guys, guys, we're recording this in June. Oh, my God. Stop, Gary. Spells come more and more.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Hold on. Stop. Absolutely stop. I've been having headaches. Stop. Olivia, you need to initiate because we have to find a way to get you in that car. Correct? We have to send goals, correct?
Starting point is 00:45:33 Correct. Well, 90%. Uh, I, okay, why don't you start? Let's do a phone call and a car ride and see where we go. So a quick phone call to initiate, then we'll do a car ride. Three to Pigley and... Hello? Hi, hi, Grandma.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Oh, hi, Livy. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out, like, this weekend. Hmm. What do you mean? Hang out? Yeah, like, I don't know. Bring me to McDonald's. like old time's sake.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Oh, well, I suppose I could do that if that's something you wanted. Maybe we could get McDonald's together and eat it inside. Yeah. That'd be great. Or what? Or we could get it, we could pick it up, and then we could go to that park that you always would take me to. And we could People Watch. Yeah, we can go to Gibson Park and eat our McDonald's and People Watch.
Starting point is 00:46:37 Okay. come get you Saturday in my Honda, okay? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Pause.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Olivia, how realistic was that call? I'm not asking you to judge Gary. I'm talking about, okay, so that could work out that way, correct? That could work out. Okay. So then we don't have to revisit. So now you're in the car post-McDonnellds. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:02 Three, too, Big Landau. Grandma, this food is immaculate. Thank you so much. They just, they stick to their recipes, and it's my pleasure. I was so happy when you called to have some lunch. Yeah. You know, like, I was just, I'm getting old. And, oh, crap, I spilled my soda.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Oh, no. Oh, gosh. Thank God you did it at a light, which means that there's, I'm not overreacting. Oh, golly. Oh, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Oh, it really got in there. No, Grandma, I'll clean it up.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Oh, no, no, don't worry about it. It's an old car. Don't worry about it. We can just get some napkins. No, I feel so bad. I need to clean it up. It's fine. I want to call cut.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Olivia, I'm going to give you a new pitch. This feels a little bit, pardon the word and a pun on this, but it feels a little messy. Okay. And I don't love it. So that is a path you could take. I think it will be effective. I want to try something a little bit different with you. Will you be Grandma and I'll be you?
Starting point is 00:48:15 Okay. Okay. I just called you. Hi. Hey, Grandma. Oh. Hi, sweetie. How are you?
Starting point is 00:48:29 I'm good. How are you? Good. Just a quick note to guess. She's Southern. I didn't know that Pacific Northwest. Are you sort of showboating right now? No.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Maybe jump back in, do the work. Hey, grandma. Yeah. Can I ask something strange? My friends and I are doing this competition where we're all filming ourselves for, like, TikTok, and we're going to, like, clean someone's car we love and film it and see who does the best job. Is there a day, if you're okay with it, that I could come and just, like, totally clean. your car and I'll like do everything.
Starting point is 00:49:10 It'll be like really fun for me, but just like the inside. Is that something you'd be okay with? It's just my friends and I are doing something fun this summer. Hmm. That sounds like a nice summer activity. Yeah, we're trying to stay. I wouldn't mind it. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:49:27 So maybe I'll come by and then what we're going to do is I'm going to do like before and after pictures if that's okay. And then we're going to have like a little competition. It's just like something fun that we're doing. Okay. I think Saturday would work. Saturday works for me too. So I'll come by, maybe we'll get some McDonald's or something. That's some fun, too. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Okay. Love you, Gams. Love you too, sweetie. Bye, sweetie. Okay. Hey, Olivia. Yes. You got two options now. Which one do you, which path do you want to go down?
Starting point is 00:50:04 I think filling food would be much easier. I will admit it. How so? Because sometimes, like, I'll have rough days at school. Everyone has rough days. And she'll be like, do you want to go get McDonald's? And I'm like, okay. I love it.
Starting point is 00:50:25 So let's do the spilling of the food. Rather than the drink, would you be willing to do the fries? Yeah. Yeah. Spilling a drink is going to be a whole thing. You might actually get a stink. Yes. You just do the fries.
Starting point is 00:50:38 and then here's my only problem. I think when you say clean it, she's going to go, no, it's fine. But you tell me, Olivia. Yeah, we'll see. I hope she'll be like, oh, I'd love for you to clean it. I can go ahead. I think it's up to you, Olivia,
Starting point is 00:51:05 but hearing the Jake version of it, I think if you call her, It's just there's going to be... Mel Gareth, she wants to do the food. We're going to live with the food. So here's what I'm going to say, Olivia. Here's what we would love for... Will you try this...
Starting point is 00:51:20 Today's Wednesday, correct? Yeah. Could you try to do this food thing this weekend? I'm thinking about my calendar. I'm going to my friend's house. That's a problem. Okay. How about the next weekend?
Starting point is 00:51:40 How about before July 4th? For July 4th? I could do after because I'm, it's summer, so I have all these vacations, you know. That's cool. So how about this? How about the four of the, yeah, I agree with the music. Enjoy the fact that she can't do this stuff because of vacations. Yes.
Starting point is 00:52:01 Unfortunately, Jake, I have too much free time. I can't be fit in this in. So, Olivia, can we do this before you go back to school? Yeah. Okay. Will you follow up with us immediately after? Email the show and let us know what happened after the spilling and if you were able to clean it. If she allows the cleaning, then just clean the car on a separate day, as clean as you can get it, right?
Starting point is 00:52:31 Yeah. Take photos of it before and after and send us those. And then when it's really clean, comment on the smell. Okay. Does that make sense? I'll do that. Yeah. And then, so now let's just go back as a little memory game.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Olivia 14, Northwest, what are you going to do? I'm going to spill food in my grandma's car, and so I can fix the smell and clean it for her, and then calm it on the smell afterwards saying, oh, my gosh, it's so clean. And then when the smell comes back to grandma, what are you going to do? I'm going to be like, Grandma, did someone spill something in here?
Starting point is 00:53:19 I need to clean this again. I think I smell what I spilled. Nope. Just did something spill in here because it's got a weird smell now. Now it's on Grandma. Okay. Your new job is not car wash. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Gareth. It also allows you to keep, if you pop an air freshener in there, then you're able to, you know, keep the air fresheners, you know, the air freshener stopped where it can give her a new one. You know, if she likes the smell, that might be the thing. Buy a few air fresheners and let her pick the smell, but you can then keep popping a new one in, which will cover it, I think. Yeah. In one of those little trees over the mirror.
Starting point is 00:54:06 Louie, how are you feeling? I'm feeling confident about this. Great. Follow up with us. We appreciate you. You're going to kick button high school. Go get them. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:54:16 See, bud. Bye. Bye. Sweet Jesse here. This next call is a follow-up from episode 298, Sexy Baby with Marie Bartlett. Hey, how are you? Caller.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Hey, hey. I'm here to help. Great. We know you're a follow-up. That's all we know. So what's your name? Sure. This is Ryan.
Starting point is 00:54:45 you may remember me from a couple weeks back. My wife keeps calling my infant son's sexy baby. Oh, right. Oh, this was wild. Now, I remember the problem. What did we pitch? For those who haven't heard the episode, will you retell the problem?
Starting point is 00:55:06 Yeah, yeah, sure. So, you know, my wife tends to give a lot of people nicknames, and she went through a handful of nicknames for our infant sonies. like nine months old now. And eventually she landed on sexy baby to the point that that was just the only name that she would call him. Never his name or any of their name. Really inappropriate.
Starting point is 00:55:27 It makes everyone uncomfortable. So yeah, called in and you guys had some great ideas. And ultimately we settled on it was my job to create a pitch deck and explain to her how great she is at coming up with nicknames. But how terrible this nickname was. And then ultimately what we ended up doing was having a column juxtaposing things that are sexy against babies and explain to her very visually that things that are sexy are very different than babies to hopefully drive home that point to her. And so you prepped it? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:06 We made a slideshow deck and everything. Yeah, what do we evidence as far as paying the tab, what do we have from you? So Ryan sent us a deck and also a video of him giving the presentation. The presentation itself is kind of long. So I think maybe we just show the deck and he can walk through it. Yeah, let's see the deck. I would also not mind seeing a snippet of the presentation. Let's have the presentation.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Let's just post it on YouTube. Or Patreon. Yeah, or Patreon. Yeah, or Patreon. Yeah, or Patreon. Love it. Perfect. Okay, I'm going to show the presentation, Ryan, if now's a good time.
Starting point is 00:56:39 Yep, perfect. Yeah, go for it. So because we can go through this and see what we think. Gareth, will you take this over? Okay, so he's done great because the title page is the Babe Ruth of nicknames by Ryan. So he's starting off with a great compliment. That's page one. Page two is an ode to the magnificent nickname of my amazing wife, who we will not say her name just to be safe.
Starting point is 00:57:07 Okay, so we're really starting strong. Okay, so we show the cat on the bed, pretty little cat on the bed. The cat's name is Diego, aka Snuggle Man and D. Snuggs. Great nickname. Then we've got Mom. She's nicknamed. Mom, she's nicknamed Crazy Lady. I like this.
Starting point is 00:57:32 Yeah, okay, now we've got Dad. Picture of Dad, and the Dad is, aka the General. I love the, I love crazy lady in the general. I do too. Brother, aka P. Dub. She's good at nicknames. Yeah, absolutely. Neese, the Lil, great.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Daughter, we remember a chunk of chicken? Yeah, totally. That was a winner. Okay, now we go, now we're getting into the heart of the matter. So now we've shown. This is excellent, right? This is phenomenal. We've shown the juxtaposition on one page here.
Starting point is 00:58:07 So they sort of lay out like two pages of a book. tell you, you gave a really nice mix of the definition of sexy. Yes, I agree. There's six different photos of different types of sexy ladies of various undress. And it's, you know, it's a nice mix of what sexy is. And then the other page is five to six photos of babies. Which, by the way, when you do see side by side, it is so jarring. Messing with my brains wiring a tremendous.
Starting point is 00:58:37 They're so different. You're like, no, those should not be. connected. You're showing the experience of what you and others go through when she does this because it's off. Yeah, it's hard to focus. Okay, now on the next page, we've got the note. Our infant son cannot all caps be, quote, sexy. It's mathematically impossible. Now you say to her, I challenge you to live up to your Babe Ruth of nickname status, which mind you was just given to her. Really quickly, you're paying the toll, my brother. Oh, my God, bro. This tip is like, we're looking at the tab and we're like, I mean, I'm as good to him.
Starting point is 00:59:14 I didn't deserve that much. Now, the next page is Jake and I. And it says these two totally normal and unbiased men have recommended you pitch three to four new nicknames to them on air so they can either choose the best new name for your son or the audience will choose their favorite of your pitches. And the photo is me holding a hot dog and a hamburger and Gareth. in his suit holding a cat. Yeah, so you chose, obviously. Okay, now you've got her terribly photoshopped on Babe Ruth when he's holding a couple bats and you say, hit it out of the park, babe.
Starting point is 00:59:54 I mean, Ryan, phenomenal job. Now, we're proud of you. We're into it. But obviously, we're ground floor investors on this project. The million dollar question is how did. your wife take the presentation. How did it go? Yeah, so I took your advice and we waited for the kids to be in bed.
Starting point is 01:00:19 We had a glass of wine, a glass of Ben and put her on the couch. And I said, look, we've got something important to talk about. I pulled up the presentation that you guys just looked at. And I went through it, you know, just like normal. Like I said, you know, Jesse and the team, they got a video of it a little bit longer. But, you know, she was receptive. You know, her actual, actually, her one point of feedback was that my definition, and a sexy didn't actually include a man in there.
Starting point is 01:00:43 She did notice that. She's right. But valid. Valid. But other than that, she kind of, I think the juxtaposition really, really was on display. And she goes, okay, you're right. Let's talk about this, right? And what it really did was it opened up like a conversation for us over the last couple days of
Starting point is 01:01:04 what that nickname would be, what are those possible other. nicknames. But I think that it like actually got into her psyche because like I noticed a huge downturn in her use or she would catch herself doing it and she would stop doing it. And then most importantly, when she does it, it only happens in the house. It's never around people outside of the house. So like immediate, immediate adjustment. Immediate change. We would like to get it out of the vernacular, but that's great. It's just private. It's a big improvement. We're huge one. Trending in the right direction. Okay. And go ahead, Gareth. No. we're going to ask the same thing. Go ahead.
Starting point is 01:01:41 You go ahead. Have we, I mean, I don't think either of us remembered the request of the on-air pitches where we can weigh in or the audience can weigh in. Have we got any new pitches in the direction of what we replace sexy baby's nickname with? That's correct. Yeah. So we do. So she had to think about it because, you know, obviously, you know, these things take some time. Sure.
Starting point is 01:02:05 But these are the following names that she came up with as suggestions. And it's either like, you know, a selection of one of these or, you know, even, you know, possibly, you know, other suggestions on top of them. She didn't want to come on the show and pitch them, though. Well, honestly, she probably would have. She was like, are they going to call me? I was like, I don't know, man. I'm not in charge of the show. We might later, but let's see where we're at right now.
Starting point is 01:02:29 So let's hear the end of this. Yep. So the first one she came up with was dapper dude. Hold on. Dapper dude. Okay. Dapper dude. Yep.
Starting point is 01:02:40 Good, good, yep. Brosky, which is actually like, you know, she kind of will use this occasionally. I don't hate Broski. No. By the way, I'm not going to hate any of these based on the sex. But by the way, you got chunk of chicken, you got crazy lady, you go to General, you got Broski. Crazy ladies.
Starting point is 01:03:00 All solid names for sure. And then the third one that she had was Captain Handsome, similar to sexy baby, but, you know, not as a, Different, different. Yep. So those are the three. Okay, so you've got Dapper Dude, Brosky, Captain Hansom. I'm going to tell you I don't like Captain Hanson.
Starting point is 01:03:22 That's my least favorite. I get it. Listen, I mean, again. This is, she's a bit of a drug addict. Yeah. And I don't want to switch from heroin to acid. By the way, though, the problem with Captain Hansom becomes, and I'm not saying this is going to happen.
Starting point is 01:03:36 But what if, you know, the kid gets less adorable, then you got the captain handsome. You know what I mean? True. It doesn't carry through long term either. Yeah. It'll be our age at some point. So I think we're looking at dapper dude versus Brosky.
Starting point is 01:03:51 Ryan, how do you feel about those two? I like those. I think they're both totally viable names. And these are names she picked because I don't want to pitch new stuff, Gareth, because I want her as the Bayberth of nicknames to be the winner. I think it's important. I agree. So of those two, on this call, does anybody have a top or where are we at?
Starting point is 01:04:14 I think you and I have different tops, but I'm good with either. What's your top? Dapper dude. Ryan, what's your top? I like Brohky just because it's like one name. But Dapper Dut is the alliteration that's got going on, you know? Dapard dude. Brosky.
Starting point is 01:04:35 So I think both of these are really going to work. Here's what I would ask the audience. comment on wherever you do it Spotify or YouTube I think those are the only things you can comment on these days Hulu and I'd let you comment and Patreon and then let's honestly have you back on
Starting point is 01:04:58 and when you're back on Ryan what we're going to do is we're going to have your wife on too and Gareth and I are going to read the comments together great And then she's going to make the call. We'll pull up a YouTube. So everybody, even if you don't watch on YouTube, just actually do this on YouTube so that we're not going from Spotify to YouTube.
Starting point is 01:05:19 Even if you don't watch on YouTube, go to YouTube for this episode and just comment in the section. Okay. So we're going to say that that's the voting booth. The voting booth, just to keep it clean, is going to be the YouTube. And for people who are like, I don't watch on YouTube. Well, guess what? Neither do I. But you can go on YouTube.
Starting point is 01:05:36 Just go there. And what we would like is, if you have one, what would be ideal is you can either just say dappardood or broskey, if you feel strongly, give us a why. Because we are going to be reading these to the Babe Ruth of nicknames, and then she is going to make the final call. Ryan, are you comfortable with that? I think that that's fair. I think that she does get the final say, but I think she needs the information from the audience or from us. I agree. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:04 I mean, great. phenomenal. Phenomenal. This feels like a very good close to a huge win. And we are right there. And I think the audience, the audience, similar to what's going on with the kidney world,
Starting point is 01:06:18 the audience is really stepping up. So we're going to rely on the community again. Yep. Here to Elth Town has always been a democracy. This is a lot like the kidney. Yeah, it's very similar. I agree. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:34 Similar stakes. So we are going to follow up with you after this one airs. We'll do it pretty soon. So as soon as you hear it, guys, comment with the Y2, that'd be helpful. And then all of us together are going to be talking to the wife. Your words, us being there. And then at the end of it, we're going to say, what is the nickname of this child? But let's just say again, Ryan, you paid the tab beyond.
Starting point is 01:07:01 You're goddamn right. He did. Well done. And also way to go in the actual execution of doing it for a one-on-one. I agree. It's easy to leave this call and go, all right. And then you're like, oh, fuck, I got to do a PowerPoint for my wife. But you did.
Starting point is 01:07:18 But you did. You crushed. We had fun. It was a beautiful idea. Brought us closer together. It all worked that well. I did. This is ideal.
Starting point is 01:07:26 So way to go. And we'll let you know. I'm excited. I'm truly excited for listening. Yep. This is great. Thanks, guys. Appreciate Brian.
Starting point is 01:07:34 Thanks, Brian. Thank you. Hi, this is Quest. I've been listening since season one. I'm actually catching up now. I think I just finished 303. Keep going through all of those. This little voice note is for our lovely little fans
Starting point is 01:07:54 that keep commenting about the cold open and the leave the toll, leave the tab, whatever. It's enough. It's enough. Okay? The world is going into the shitter and this is what we're focused on. Like, let our boys do their stuff. They let everybody pay the toll, pay the tab, whatever.
Starting point is 01:08:15 Everyone's getting free advice and I mean, a lot of it's going well, well enough for them to get a bell. So I say let it happen. And for my cold open haters, please stop. I like it. I don't want them to take it away. It adds to the bar vibe, two guys catching up. Honestly, it adds a little bit of heart, you know, like,
Starting point is 01:08:40 Garrett's on the road, Jake's on the road. Let them talk a little bit more, okay? Let them get caught up with one another, and then we all just listen to it for free. And then also, if you have a problem with the ads, skip them. It is okay. If you can't pay for the skip, then you got other problems. But for the haters, please chill out.
Starting point is 01:09:02 This is the highlight of my day, and it's been along with me for so many years. And I am definitely one where I'm not the best of change, so I understand how change can be a lot. But it's all in good fun. So I hope you guys are having a great day. And love you. Bye. Everybody check out our show on Hulu. It drops a day early, and there's also Back Catalog episodes.
Starting point is 01:09:32 Right, so we're here to help is now on Hulu a day early. If you want to listen to the back catalog, we're dropping those from season one and season two. It's just join us. Let's go. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com.
Starting point is 01:09:56 And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com. slash Here to Help Pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Foller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike.
Starting point is 01:10:19 Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to Garethreth Reynolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast.
Starting point is 01:10:39 Hey everyone, this is Whitney. And Alexong. A.k.a. the popcorn queen and king. Hey, guys, we just wanted to thank you so much for all the love and support you've shown our family. As many of you know from episodes 224 and 231, we're navigating Alexa's second kidney transplant journey. And that journey has really inspired us. to create the Arana Kidney Recovery Foundation.
Starting point is 01:11:05 That's right. The foundation helps transplant families with everyday expenses during recovery so they could focus on what's most important, healing. Now, whether it's lodging, transportation, groceries, or other essential expenses, we're here to help lighten the load. If you'd like to support our mission, you can learn more or donate at A-R-A-N-A-K-R-F-R-F.
Starting point is 01:11:31 That's iranakrf.org. Thank you so much for being such an incredible community. And thank you for always being there to help. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right.
Starting point is 01:11:59 We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different gums. guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot.
Starting point is 01:12:11 A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.